


Matters of the Heart

by Forever_Without_Him



Category: PLL - Fandom, Pretty Little Liars, emison, freeform - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Drama, Emison - Freeform, F/F, Freeform Pretty Little Liars, Friendship, Mystery, PLL, PLL season 6B, PTSD, Plot Twists, Pretty Little Liars - Freeform, Psychological Trauma, Spemily - Freeform, Starts out canon, Suspense, Tomily, Torture, hannily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 287,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Without_Him/pseuds/Forever_Without_Him
Summary: Emily Fields has no plans to return to her hometown of Rosewood, but that changes after she gets a letter from Alison DiLaurentis. Love is a strong enough incentive for her to go back, but things are different now. Emily is harboring secrets that none of her loved ones know about. Starts relatively canon (with a few tweaks) with the plot in season 6B, but has some major twists. Seriously, sign your permission slip for this feels trip. It's a bumpy ride.





	1. Home Sweet Home

**Author's Note:**

> My friends are bastards who talk me in to writing fanfics. To get back at them I make my fics super-angsty (with a basis in love, of course). I apologize in advance if I make you cry...or you know, make you want to punch your screen in anger. Threatening to chase me with a pick-axe and a flame-thrower is perfectly acceptable. Also, a special shout-out to my awesome friends/reviewers on fanfiction who managed to make me feel like my writing is actually worth a damn. I started this story purely to entertain myself and to satisfy my friends who begged me to do it. I told them I would and then added, "But I'm going to make it hurt" and for some reason that only enticed them more. 
> 
> I'm down for comments/questions. I'm even cool with death threats, because to be honest I spend like 98% of my time reading my writing telling myself it's trash, because, you know...tortured artist and all that. Throughout the story you'll probably see my little barbs at myself (writers, we're our own worst critics, aren't we?). You'll get to know my angry inner critic, a raging British woman who would rival Delores Umbridge and my other critic, Mushu from Mulan, constantly yelling "DISHONOR!" at me. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy.

Being back in Rosewood after all these years was surreal. Emily had spent the past several years thousands of miles away trying to erase every bad memory she had of her old town. Horrible things had happened to her here. But she had emerged from it all stronger and braver than she ever could have imagined.

Rosewood had been the root of most of her nightmares, but it was also the source of many great things for her. Friendships had been forged, love had blossomed, and memories had been made. Her hometown was a part of her soul.

She felt guilty for not keeping in touch with her friends, but they were on their own journeys. She chatted with them on the phone on occasion. Hanna was traveling all over the world living her dream in the fashion industry. Spencer was bossing Congress around in D.C. And Aria had made a name for herself in the publishing industry.

Emily was happy for her friends’ success, but she was struggling to keep her head above water, so she’d pulled away. The phone calls became less frequent, but she still managed to keep up with what they were doing. She’d even e-mailed Aria’s old flame, and her old teacher, Ezra Fitz a few times. He’d gotten engaged to Emily’s friend Nicole and they had been traveling the world with _Habitat For Humanity_. Emily had been e-mailing Nicole about wedding venues when Nicole went missing on one of her missions. Ezra had been devastated. She’d lost touch with him after that.

Emily had no plans to return to Rosewood, but one day she got a letter that changed everything. When she saw the handwriting her heart started racing. Seeing the careful and meticulous writing took Emily back to the days in high school…to her first love.

_Alison DiLaurentis_.

Ali needed her, and as much as Emily didn’t want to love her…she did. So she’d packed up her things and trekked across the country. She took in the sights of her old town. It was the same town she remembered. But things were different now. Emily was different. She was harboring a secret that none of her loved ones knew about. Her plan was to keep it that way. She wasn’t going to be in town for very long. She’d just come to help Alison, and then she would go back to California.

She sat inside of the coffee shop where she used to work and marveled at how far she’d come over the years. An alarm startled her out of her trance. She glanced down at her phone. She still wasn’t used to the medication regimen her doctor had her on. She pulled a bottle of pills out of her purse and looked around to make sure none of her friends were around. She took her pills and stashed the medication back in her purse. She sipped on an herbal tea and waited on her friends to arrive.

A pair of hands slipped over her eyes and she heard an unmistakable giggle.

“Guess who?”

Emily would recognize that voice anywhere. She jumped up and let out an excited squeal.

“Hanna!” She wrapped her arms around one of her best friends.

“Aw, Em, I’ve missed you!” Hanna hugged her back.

“Get a room!” They heard from behind them.

They turned around and saw Spencer walking towards them with Aria right behind her. They almost hadn’t seen Aria because Spencer towered over her tiny petite frame. The girls raced to meet one another.

There was a lot of hugging and a lot of laughing before they finally settled down and caught up with one another. Emily let most of the other girls do the talking. She figured that the less talking she did, the less she would have to lie. She hated lying to them, but after everything they’d been through her friends deserved to be happy. She didn’t want them to take on her pain.

“How are things going at _The Salk Institute_?” Spencer faced Emily.

_The less you say the better._ She warned herself in thought.

“It’s good.” She nodded.

“What do they do there?” Aria asked.

“Medical research.” Emily was pretty certain she could fake her way through a conversation about medical research. She’d seen so many doctors in the past six months she practically had a PhD. “They do experimental treatments for various diseases.”

“I hear the architecture is amazing.” Spencer smiled. She looked giddy. “You’ll have to give me a tour sometime.”

_Of course Spencer Hastings wants to see a bunch of random walls and doors._ Emily couldn’t help but smile. Time had passed, but some things never changed.

Spending all afternoon with her friends rejuvenated her. They talked until the sun went down. They would have talked longer, but they got kicked out of the coffee shop at closing time. They said their goodbyes and talked about grabbing breakfast in the morning before they went to the courthouse.

Emily breathed in the fresh evening air as she walked home. Coming back hadn’t been as hard as she’d thought.

At least…not yet.

“Emily?”

The voice still made her heart race. She looked up and saw Alison walking towards her. She swallowed a knot in her throat. She hadn’t been planning on seeing Ali until tomorrow…with the rest of the girls. They had planned on talking to her together. Ali wanted to plead a case for her sister, Charlotte, to be released from the mental institution she’d been in for the past five years. Charlotte DiLaurentis had been responsible for tormenting Emily and her friends their entire senior year of high school. She had kidnapped and tortured them. She had changed their lives forever.

“Hi, Ali.” Emily stopped walking. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and rubbed her hands against her arms. It was a nervous tic she’d had since she was in middle school.

Ali embraced Emily in a hug. It was hard for Emily not to melt when Ali touched her. Everything about her brought back memories of when they were teenagers. Her gentle touch, the smell of her shampoo, her warm embrace.

“It’s so good to see you.” Ali pulled away. “I’m so glad that you came.”

“We all came.” Emily nodded. “We kinda had to. Court order and all.”

Ali nodded, as if she had expected this reaction. Emily paused to consider how many people in Ali’s life gave her a hard time for caring about a person who had done terrible things.

“Still, it means a lot to me that you’re here. It’s so good to see you.” Ali smiled. “I’ve missed you. How are you doing? How’s California? You’re at _The Salk Institute_ now, right?”

Emily opened her mouth to respond, but froze when she realized that she was getting ready to lie about pretty much everything in her life.

“I’m…definitely spending a lot of time doing medical research.” It wasn’t technically a lie, so she didn’t feel so bad saying it.

“How’s Paige? Are you two still a happy couple?” She said it with a bit of edge in her voice, though she’d tried to hide it. Emily found it strange that Ali felt uncomfortable with Paige, given the fact that Ali had been the one who picked on Paige in high school.

Her relationship with Paige wasn’t something she had to lie about. Emily had dated her ex-girlfriend on and off for the first two years after she had left Rosewood, but they had grown apart and wanted different things. They’d stayed on friendly terms though.

“No. We’re just friends.”

Their split had actually worked out in Emily’s favor, because when Emily’s health issues started she knew exactly how Paige would have reacted. Paige would have done nothing but obsess and worry to the point of becoming neurotic. Emily already had one neurotic mother. She didn’t need another. So she hadn’t told Paige about anything that was going on with her.

“Just friends, huh?” There was a hopeful expression in her tone.

“Yeah.” Emily kept her response short and sweet.

She saw a familiar truck across the road she recognized immediately. She glanced over at the driver and hoped he would recognize that she was trying to keep her distance from Alison. She was trying to sort out way too many of her feelings and it was starting to stress her out.

“Emily!” Her savoir in the truck made a U-turn and pulled up to the curb. Emily’s friend Toby Cavanaugh nodded to the girls. “You said you needed a lift home?” He pushed open the passenger’s side door and motioned for Emily to hop in.

_Thank God. You read my mind._ Emily glanced at Toby and then smiled sweetly at Ali, “I’m sorry, I’ve got to run.”

“Of course. Yeah. It was stupid of me to assume you weren’t busy.” Ali let out a sigh.

“No, you’re not stupid.” Emily shook her head. “Things are just a little crazy right now. We’re readjusting…settling. You know how it is.”

“I do.” Alison didn’t argue. As Emily reached the truck door, Alison put her palm against Emily’s upper forearm. “I know you didn’t come for Charlotte.”

Emily refrained from saying what she really wanted to about Alison’s sister.

“…you came for me. I just wanted to thank you for that.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Emily climbed into the front seat of Toby’s truck. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ali.” She rolled down the window and waved to her friend as they passed by.

“Goodnight, Em.”

Alison followed the truck with her eyes, a longing look in them. She hated to see Emily go. Emily waved, rolled the window back up, and faced Toby.

“Saw you talking to her from across the street.” Toby smiled at Emily. “You looked like you needed a lifeline.”

“So you were stalking me?” Emily teased him.

“We prefer the term ‘patrolling’.” Toby grinned.

The ride back to Emily’s neighborhood had been a short one. Toby parked in front of the Fields’ house. They climbed out of the truck at the same time.

“It’s great to see you, Toby.” Emily walked around the front bumper of the truck.

She closed the distance between them and they embraced in a hug.

“I’ve missed having my friendly neighborhood Emily just around the corner.” He smiled. He reached behind the front seat of his truck and dug around for something. After a minute he pulled out two bottles of beer.

“How many bottles of beer do you have left on the wall for this road trip?” Emily asked with a smirk.

“I confiscated them from a couple of teens on my property earlier tonight. What do you say? For old time’s sake?”

“Sure.” Emily laughed at the thought of Toby scolding children and then stealing their beer.

They cracked open the drinks and walked over and sat down on her front porch.

“So,” Toby took a sip of his beer. “What have you been up to? I don’t think I’ve seen you since…” He suddenly stopped mid-sentence and looked at her with a sad expression.

“The funeral.” Emily finished for him. “I appreciate you being there for me.” It had been a small service…family only. But that hadn’t stopped Toby from waiting on her front porch for her with a warm hug and a six pack of the finest brew he could find in the state.

“The girls wanted to come, but I told them not to.” Emily downed some of her beer.

She knew she shouldn’t have been drinking, but she didn’t care. Her nerves were shot after that run-in with Ali.

“I know. Spencer left the White House in the middle of some meeting about foreign affairs and when the pentagon tried to reprimand her she had to call her mother to call the dogs off. And Caleb said Hanna tried to book a flight back from Milan before he was able to talk her down from it.”

Emily laughed picturing Spencer yelling at the government and Hanna shopping for the best first class flight into their not so first class town.

“You know Ali came by that day…before you got home.”

Emily almost dropped her beer bottle.

“What?”

“She was here for about an hour.” Toby leaned back on the stairs and looked at Emily. “We talked about a lot.” He shook his head. “I was never her biggest fan.” He took another gulp of beer. “After everything she put you all through I never thought I’d be able to forgive her. But I realized something that day.”

“And what was this great revelation?”

“I don’t have to forgive her to understand her.” He put his beer down. “Alison isn’t who I thought she was.”

“Who is?” Emily sighed.

“You.” Toby didn’t miss a beat. “For as long as I can remember you’ve always been Emily Fields.” He said it as surely as someone would say that you use air to breathe. “In this world of uncertainty you have always been a constant…for all of us.”

Emily took a nervous breath and looked away. If Toby only knew the things she was keeping from him…from everyone. The lines between where the lies ended and where the truth began were blurry even to her.

“Why didn’t she stay until I got home?” Emily peered at him.

“Huh?”

“Ali. Why didn’t she wait for me?”

He shrugged.

“You’d have to ask her.”

“Out of all of us, I never would have thought you and Ali would be the ones to settle in Rosewood.” Emily looked around her front yard and then looked back at Toby.

“Yeah, I dunno. I like this town. I shouldn’t after everything it’s cost me…” He glanced at the stars in the sky.

Emily knew that look...that longing look that only a lover could have over a lost love.

“What happened between you two?” Emily had always believed that Toby and Spencer were meant to be.

“We just…drifted apart.” He sighed. “We tried to make it work. I’d go see her in D.C. and she’d come see me here, but after a while it just became too much. It’s like every corner that we turned here reminded her of the things that happened to her…to us.”

Emily nodded in understanding.

“We became different people. So she went back to kicking ass on Capitol Hill, and I took the time to figure out what I wanted.”

“You got your degree, didn’t you?” Emily asked.

“I did. Took a while. Mostly nights. But I got it.” He smiled. “Not that it did me much good in the economy.”

“That’s the way it works in today’s society.” Emily sighed. “College was not what I thought it was going to be. I look at Aria, Spencer, and Hanna…it all seemed to click for them.”

“But not for you?” He asked.

Emily shook her head.

“No. I had a hard time.” She bit the inside of her lip to keep from crying. “After my dad died I just didn’t see the point to it.”

“To college?” Toby asked.

There was beat of silence before she answered,

“To anything.” Tears burned her eyes, but she turned her head so Toby wouldn’t see. She quickly dried her eyes and faced him again.

Toby looked at his friend…the first real friend he’d made in Rosewood and he saw something in her eyes. It wasn’t just her being haunted by her past…or her father’s death. There was something else going on with her. There was something in her expression that rattled him to his core.

“Hey, are you okay?” He put his hand on her shoulder.

“Uh…just a little buzzed.” She lied.

“From one beer?” He looked at her skeptically.

“Who said this was my first drink tonight?” Emily put her empty beer bottle down. She averted Toby’s gaze and rolled her index finger around the outer rim of the bottle.

“Emily…” He said in a soft tone. “What’s going on?”

She should have known better than to try to lie to him. He had always been able to see right through her. How was she supposed to be able to keep this from him? Why couldn’t she just look him in the eye and tell him the truth? When had it gotten so hard for her to talk to her friends?

_You’re in denial._ She told herself.

She almost laughed at the irony. Toby had been the first person she’d come out to. She had been in denial about a lot back then. And now, here she was again…years later in the same situation with a different secret.

_Nothing truly ever changes._ She thought.

“Em…”

“I’m fine, Toby.” Emily continued to stare at the ground.

“Then why can’t you look me in the eye?”

Because she couldn’t look into those bright baby-blues and tell him anything but the truth.

“I’m just tired.” She gathered all of her strength and forced herself to look at him. “I should get some rest. Big day tomorrow.” She stood up.

“Okay.” Toby decided not to push her. He stood up and embraced her in another hug. “I’m glad you’re back, Em.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded.

They said their goodbyes and Emily watched as he drove away. She took a moment to appreciate how quiet it was, especially given how loud it was in her head. As she peered out at the yard she had grown up in she realized how much she had taken for granted in her life. Rosewood had a way of bringing back memories she’d suppressed for years. Those memories seemed so trivial now. Her phone alarm went off, reminding her of everything she had been trying to forget.

“Home sweet home.” She muttered as she opened the front door of her house.

She had escaped this town once. She got the sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to be able to do it again.


	2. Here, Hold My Beer

The girls met up for Mimosas the next morning. They needed the liquid courage to deal with Alison and the hearing for Charlotte. They talked about what they should say at the hearing. Emily barely heard a word of it. She had a headache because she hadn’t slept well. All she could think about was seeing Alison last night. Her talk with Toby had brought up a lot of unresolved feelings. Alison had never told her that she’d come by after her father’s funeral. And Emily still wasn’t sure what Toby meant when he said that Alison wasn’t who he thought she was. Emily had always known who Alison was at her core. Even during Ali’s darkest days, Emily had seen her best qualities. She saw things that no one else saw. There was more to Alison DiLaurentis than anyone could have ever imagined.

“What about you, Em?” Aria asked.

“Huh?” Emily snapped out of her daze.

This lack of focus is why she’d flunked out of Pepperdine.

“What are you going to say?” Aria was looking at her from across the table.

“Oh, um…I don’t know.” Emily took a sip of her drink.

“Seriously?” Spencer ate a bite of her breakfast. “The hearing is in a few hours. This isn’t a high school History test. You can’t just wing it and hope for the best.”

“Not all of us have to plan out every intricate detail down to the letter.” Emily shrugged.

“No, but Pam Fields’ daughter certainly would.” Aria furrowed her brows at Emily and gave her a look of concern. “How many of those have you had?” She looked at the Mimosa sitting in front of her.

“I want to hear Ali out first.”

The truth was that Emily had already made up her mind on what she was going to say at the hearing. She’d thought a lot about it when she first got Alison’s letter. The possibility of Charlotte being released had opened up every wound that had healed over the years. But the fear of Charlotte getting out took a backseat to all the other crap happening in her life. She’d faced a lot of fears in her life. Her dad had taught her that fear was natural and that it was the way she responded to it that would make or break her.

“What time are we supposed to meet her?” Emily glanced at her phone.

“Twenty minutes ago.” Spencer looked down at her watch.

“Ugh, I’m not ready.” Hanna frowned. “How about one more round?”

“I’d be insulted if you hadn’t asked.” Spencer tipped her glass and finished off her drink.

They delayed the inevitable for as long as they could, but when they got a text from Ali asking where they were they paid their bill and made their way over to Ali’s house.

A lanky man with dark hair answered the door. Emily recognized him from a photo Ali had shared online. He smiled at the girls.

“You must be here to see Alison.” He waved them in. “I’m Doctor Elliott Rollins. I’ve been working very closely with Alison in orchestrating Charlotte’s release.”

“So you’re Doctor Doom,” Spencer said sarcastically.

“Spencer!” Emily and Aria exclaimed in unison.

Spencer didn’t look the least bit sorry. Emily watched Rollins’ reaction very carefully. He had a peculiar look about him. His gaze was intense, like his mind was constantly at work.

“I understand why this is difficult for you.” Rollins nodded. His answer seemed rehearsed…calculated, “But I can assure you that I wouldn’t recommend this if I didn’t think Charlotte was fully ready to be integrated back into society.”

“If she’s doing so well why don’t we send her to prison instead?” Hanna mumbled.

“Maybe drinking before coming here wasn’t such a good idea,” Aria whispered to Emily.

Ali walked into the room. She walked over to the girls and they all exchanged hugs. Rollins cleared his throat.

“I’m going to head to Welby to finalize a few things,” he said. “I’ll leave you girls to it.” He walked by Alison and put his hand on her arm.

“See you in a little bit.” Alison smiled at him.

Emily noticed the intimacy in their exchange. It seemed as though their relationship was more than just a professional one, but Ali didn’t let on if that was the case.

After he left, the room was silent. Alison rubbed her hands together nervously.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

“You’re the author. You tell us.” Spencer shrugged.

Alison ignored Spencer’s snarky remark.

“I know this isn’t easy for you guys, but I really appreciate you being here.” She glanced at each of them. Her gaze lingered upon Emily a little bit longer than the others. Emily tried to pretend she didn’t notice.

“Nothing like lying to bring us back together,” Spencer muttered.

“Spencer, I’m not asking you to lie.” Ali sighed.

“ _I know I don’t have any right to ask you this, but I need you to appeal to the court on Charlotte’s behalf. I know the way you feel about her, but I beg you to put that aside at her hearing. Don’t do it for her. Do it for me._ ” Spencer quoted a passage from Ali’s letter word for word.

“You _memorized_ it?” Hanna looked at Spencer in disbelief.

“Of course she did.” Aria rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I had to read it several times to make sure it wasn’t a joke.” Spencer folded her arms in front of her chest and glared at Ali. “You got one thing right in that letter, Ali. You had no right to ask us to do this.”

“You gave me a second chance. Doesn’t Charlotte deserve the same?” Ali’s voice quivered.

“You didn’t try to freeze us to death or cut us in half!” Spencer snapped. “You didn’t kidnap us and hold us hostage in an underground bunker!”

“Spencer…” Emily tried to intervene.

“Charlotte drove a car through your house, Emily.” Spencer frowned.

“I know. I haven’t forgotten that.” Emily tried to keep her tone even.

“Look, I’m not asking you to forgive her for everything she’s done. I’m just asking for you to give me my sister back. Please. Please, do this for me.” Ali’s voice cracked.

“Pretty please, with sugar on top?” Spencer’s tone was laced with venom.

“What?” Ali sounded hurt.

“That’s what children say on the playground when they exact favors out of their friends. But we’re not children anymore, Ali.”

“Spence, this isn’t helping.” Aria put her hand on Spencer’s shoulder to try and calm her down.

Spencer huffed out an irritated breath and then threw her hands up in the air in defeat.

“Fine. I’m done talking anyway.” Spencer walked towards the front door. She flung the door open and stormed out.

“Did she seriously just walk away from an argument?” Hanna asked. “That is so not like her.”

“Spencer!” Emily called out after her.

“I got it.” Aria chased after her.

“Okay, if this is what the hearing is going to be like I’m going to need a lot more caffeine in my system,” Hanna mumbled. “I’ll be at Spencer’s raiding her coffee cabinet.”

Hanna walked out, leaving Alison and Emily alone in Ali’s living room. Ali had tears in her eyes. Emily was torn. Part of her wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, but the other part of her wanted to rip her a new one for dragging them into this mess.

“She’s my sister, Emily.” Ali choked out. “She’s the only family I have left. Jason is always out of the country. My dad wants nothing to do with me. And you guys are all so far away. She’s all I’ve got.”

She sat down on the arm of the sofa. Emily walked over next to her.

“Ali, we’re all here. You asked us to come and we’re here. We’re not as far away as you think.”

“You’re worlds away.” She looked up at Emily. She looked so defeated. Tears were trickling down her face. “I have lost everyone in my life that I’ve ever cared about. This is an opportunity to get something back.” There seemed to be an underlying meaning to her words, but Emily couldn’t figure out what it was. “Talk to them?” Ali pleaded.

 _Why me? Why is it always me?_ Emily thought to herself.

She looked at Ali. It hurt Emily to see her so broken. Emily couldn’t find the words to tell Ali that she’d do what she was asking. Instead, she wrapped her arm around Ali’s shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. After their embrace she looked down at Ali and smiled. Ali smiled back and reached up and took Emily’s hand and squeezed it. Emily’s heart fluttered in her chest as she brushed her fingers over Ali’s knuckles.

Once Ali had calmed down, Emily set out to take on the daunting task of trying to wrangle her slightly intoxicated friends. She hoped that the fact that she was sober would give her an edge. Her friends had no idea that her alcoholic beverages this morning had been all beverage and no alcohol. She’d discreetly spoken to the waitress about making sure her Mimosas were Champagne free. She had gotten very good at doing things on the sly.

She found the girls sobering up in Spencer’s kitchen. Hanna had made some snacks, as if they hadn’t eaten enough at breakfast. Spencer looked at Emily with a sheepish expression on her face.

“That did not go as planned.” Spencer leaned over a cup of freshly made coffee.

“Yeah, no kidding. Do they not teach tact in D.C.?” Aria asked.

“It’s Congress, Aria.” Spencer retorted. She blew on her coffee and took a sip.

“Right.” Aria had no logical argument for the behavior of their government officials.

Spencer let out a groan and then rubbed her temples with her fingers.

“I’m so sorry, you guys.” She looked at her friends. “I walked into that house like I was heading to a debate and Ali was the opposing party. I have spent way too much time parenting the toddlers in our Supreme Court.”

“That sounds pleasantly normal compared to Rosewood.” Hanna bit into a piece of toast.

“Em, how was she when you left?” Spencer asked.

“I think she’s worried that we won’t come through for her.” Emily sat down.

“ _Are_ we going to come through for her?” Aria asked.

No one seemed to have an answer, so Emily took the opportunity to speak up.

“Look, we can do this today…or we can do it six months from now…or two years from now. Eventually, Charlotte is going to be released. They won’t keep her locked up forever, not if Ali and Rollins have anything to say about it. So why don’t we just get it over with? Let’s just go in there today and show everyone that we’re not afraid. If we do that, we’ll take away any power this whole situation has over us. We go in there, say our piece and then we can get the hell out of here and get on with our lives.”

Aria, Spencer, and Hanna all stared at her for a few seconds.

“When did you get so profound?” Spencer finally broke the silence.

“Yeah, Em, that California air has turned you into a bleeding heart hippie.” Hanna smiled.

“Shut up.” Emily laughed.

The tension in the room was suddenly gone. The altercation at Ali’s house was already ancient history. That’s the way it always was with the four of them. Things happened, they moved past them. This was no different.

They went to the hearing with every intention of saying the bare minimum about Charlotte’s sordid past. Spencer, Hanna, and Emily had gotten through their interviews without incident, but Aria fumbled at the last second and admitted she didn’t want Charlotte released. The girls were surprised, but not upset.

They watched the judge deliberate before bringing in the last person they needed to talk to: Mona Vanderwaal. Mona had always been a wildcard. The girls expected her to fight against Charlotte’s release, but she surprised them all when she sided with Alison.

They didn’t stick around to find out what the verdict was. They turned tail and ran back to the hotel that Hanna’s mother owned so they could order every cocktail on the menu to forget the day they’d had. Emily and Spencer studied the photos of the mixed drinks while Aria parked the car and Hanna made sure her suite was set up for them.

“Oh, that one looks good.” Spencer pointed to a multi-colored fruity drink that Emily was eyeballing.

“I think I’ll make it a double.” After the stress of the day, Emily wasn’t going to order non-alcoholic beverages tonight.

Her doctor was going to ream her out, but she didn’t care. Being sick didn’t mean she couldn’t have a little fun now and again.

“You deserve it.” Spencer smiled. “You somehow got adult-sized squabbling infants to stow their crap and deal.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Emily shrugged.

“Are you kidding? You out-Spencer-ed Spencer Hastings.” She wasn’t going to let Emily play it off. “I acted like an idiot. Forgive me?”

“Always.” Emily nodded with a laugh.

Her phone chirped. Emily reached into her purse and glanced at it. Her annoying alarm was starting to feel like an overbearing babysitter.

“I’ll be right back. I’ve got to run to the restroom.”

“Hurry back, so we don’t miss your face for too long!” Spencer grabbed her arm. “Everyone here has such excellent faces.”

“Spence, we just got here. How are you drunk already?” Emily asked.

“Hanna had a flask at the courthouse.” Spencer brought her index finger up to her lips, “Shh…”

Emily laughed. She grabbed her purse and walked towards the bathroom to appease her digital babysitter. She made sure the stalls were clear before she went inside. She quickly dug her medical supplies out and drew up her medication in a syringe. She sterilized the area where she would be giving the injection and pressed the needle against her skin, but before she could push the plunger down she felt a cold sweat all over her body. After everything she’d been through, a fear of needles seemed trivial, but it didn’t make it any less real.

When her Cardiologist had first told her about a new treatment plan with an experimental injectable drug Emily had been all for it. All she’d been hearing from her other heart specialists was that her only option was surgery, and there wasn’t a guarantee that it would work. So when she’d found out about the trial she jumped at that opportunity. She was willing to try anything if it meant she didn’t have to go under the knife. She’d had the first injection at her doctor’s office right before she left for Rosewood. She had wanted to learn how to do it herself, but now that she was actually being forced to stab herself with a needle she wasn’t so sure she was up for it.

 _This is nothing compared to everything else you’ve had to face in your life._ She tried to be optimistic. It wasn’t always easy, but sometimes it made her feel a little bit better…as if her father was talking to her from beyond the grave.

She heard the bathroom door swing open and she instinctively shoved the needle into her skin and quickly gave herself her shot.

“Em? You still in here?” It was Spencer. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t fall in.”

Emily made sure the needle was covered and then she stuck the syringe way down at the bottom of her purse.

“I’m good. Just give me a minute.” Emily rustled through her bag for an antiseptic wipe and a band-aid. She cleaned up the small trace of blood the needle had left and put a band-aid over it. She tried to keep it out of sight as she walked out of the stall. She was worried her friends would see it and ask questions. Then she remembered that they were all getting hammered tonight. The only thing they were going to notice was their colorful assortment of drinks.

She walked over to the sink where Spencer was standing and washed her hands. She glanced in the mirror and immediately regretted the decision. She looked pale and tired, mostly from her queasy stomach after having to give herself her shot.

“You look like you’re about to hurl. You okay?” Spencer glanced at her.

“I just need to get a little food in me and I’ll be completely fine.”

They started to walk back to the dining area.

“How did you know what to say?” Spencer questioned.

“You mean at the hearing?”

“No. To us.” Spencer stopped walking and looked at Emily. “All that stuff you told us…you knew exactly what we needed to hear.”

“I learned from the best.” Emily smiled at her friend.

“Emily Fields, you’ve been holding out on your super-secret magical political powers of persuasion,” she managed to say with a straight face. “What else are you keeping from us?” She eyed her suspiciously.

She knew Spencer was joking, but the comment still made her nervous. If she had learned anything from her past it was that the truth always came out, one way or another.

“Hey, guys.” Aria walked over towards their table. She was putting her keys in her purse. “What did I miss?”

“Emily is a wizard.” Spencer grinned. “Expecto _Patrón_ …” She grabbed the drink menu from the table.

“Geeze, Spence, are we gonna have to cut you off?” Aria asked.

“You do that and I’ll cut your fingers off.”

“I have a feeling Alison might want to do that to me after that hearing today.” Aria sat down and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “I kinda blew it.”

“Nah, you were just brave enough to say what every single one of us was thinking.” Spencer disagreed. “We should all aspire to be you. You are small, but you are mighty.”

Emily let the two of them have their little Team Sparia bonding moment. She ordered the first of many drinks that would be delivered to their table that night. And when they had overstayed their welcome in the hotel restaurant they went back to Hanna’s suite to crash.

They got a message that their testimony had swayed the judge to let Charlotte out. She had been released into Alison’s custody. Ali thanked them profusely, but they were all too drunk to think up a response to send to her.

Emily stared at her phone from the bed in Hanna’s room trying to summon up the courage to call and talk to her. Fortunately, the minuscule sober part of her brain told her that if she drunk-dialed Alison she would wake up feeling like crap.

She ran her fingers over the screen, lingering over the “call” button. The phone didn’t even feel real in her hand. Everything around her was a blur. She couldn’t even remember how she’d wound up with the bed while Aria and Spencer shared the couch and Hanna took the loveseat. Everything was a blank after she’d had that third Mojito.

She felt sick to her stomach. She knew better than to mix her medications with alcohol, and usually she was pretty good…only consuming alcohol on a rare occasion. But Rosewood brought out the need to drink.

She tried to keep her eyes closed so she could focus on her breathing. She slowly started counting to try and keep her mind occupied, but she only got as far as seven when she realized that everything she had eaten in the past 24 hours was coming back up in a most unpleasant way. She leaped out of the bed and made a beeline for the bathroom. She stumbled forward, nearly hitting her head on the sink as she crumpled to the ground.

Hanna found her an hour later. Emily had her cheek pressed against the edge of the cool porcelain bathtub. She was shivering and covered in sweat.

“Em?” Hanna appeared in the doorway.

Emily made a retching sound and then went into a coughing fit. Her face flushed and her eyes started to water. She felt like her throat was on fire. Hanna grabbed a glass and walked to the sink and filled it up with water. She leaned down next to Emily.

“Here, hydrate.” She handed her the glass.

Emily took the water and slowly started to sip it. The cool water was refreshing to her dry mouth. The room slowly stopped spinning.

“I should clean this up.” Emily peered over the edge of the bathtub.

“We’ll worry about it in the morning.” Hanna yawned.

“I’m so sorry, Han.”

“Like you’re the first person who has ever tied on one too many? Please.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “Did you forget that I hurled all over my step-monster’s wedding dress at her rehearsal dinner? I think I’m still the reigning champion of embarrassing hangover stories.”

Emily laughed softly. She finished the glass of water and pushed herself to stand up. Hanna helped her to her feet.

“I’ve never known you to not be able to hold your liquor.” Hanna peered at her in curiosity.

“It was probably something I ate.” She spit out the first lie that came to mind.

“You sure?” Hanna helped her into the bed. “Because I feel like I’m getting second degree burns just from standing next to you.”

“It’s the California sun.” Emily laid down. “Makes me run a little hotter than all you East-Coasters.”

Hanna laughed.

“If you say so.” Hanna looked around the room. “You want me to get you some aspirin or something?” She reached for Emily’s purse.

Emily nearly shot up out of the bed.

“No.” She stared at her purse.

Her pulse was racing, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or her nerves. Hanna looked at Emily with a look of confusion, but then shrugged.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” Emily felt her head melt into the pillow.

For the next several hours she was dead to the world. When she woke up she heard Hanna on the phone. It sounded like she was trying to calm someone down. Emily crawled out of the bed and walked over to where Spencer and Aria were sitting.

“What’s going on?” Emily sat down at the table. She reached for a cinnamon roll and poured herself a glass of water. She felt a little better than she had last night.

Aria and Spencer glanced at one another and then over at Hanna.

“Guys?” Emily was waiting for an answer.

“Charlotte ran away last night.” Spencer massaged her knuckles to try and keep her hands busy.

“What? How did that happen?” Emily dropped her cinnamon roll on the table.

“Relax. She’s not going to come after us.” Spencer tapped her fingers against her water glass.

“We don’t know that!” Emily didn’t understand how Aria and Spencer were so calm.

“Yes, we do.” Spencer stopped playing with her glass and looked at Emily. “She’s dead. They found her body outside the bell tower early this morning.”

Emily stared at her friends in disbelief. She let out a heavy sigh and buried her face in her hands and shook her head. After a few seconds she dropped her hands and placed them on the table in front of her. All four girls were speechless about the whole thing, even Hanna, who had something to say about everything in life. They sat in silence and tried to determine what this meant, and what could have possibly happened. Charlotte’s life had sent them down a never-ending twisted rabbit-hole once, and now her death was about to do the exact same thing.


	3. Misty Water Colored Memories

The next few days went by very quickly. There was a sense of relief the girls felt after Charlotte’s death…which lasted all of two seconds. After the funeral the Rosewood Police Department suggested that the girls stay in town. Charlotte’s death had been ruled a homicide, so they were stuck in the hot-seat once again.

Emily was less worried about the investigation and more worried about Alison. She’d been devastated by the death of her sister. She hadn’t spoken to anyone since she’d told the girls the morning she found out about Charlotte. She was in a state of shock. The funeral had been hard on her. She had stared at Charlotte’s casket the entire service. She didn’t even react when Charlotte’s old partner-in-crime showed up.

Sara Harvey had made quite the entrance. The girls had been shocked when she walked in. The last they’d seen of her she was being wheeled away on a gurney after being electrocuted. Emily had been the one responsible for sending her into the generator that scorched her hands. Sara had tried to bolt after trying to kill them and Emily introduced her to her left hook, knocking her into a hot wire. Emily felt bad that it had ended the way it did, but she didn’t regret the smackdown. Sara had done horrible things. The bitch had ice-water in her veins.

Having her around again made Emily uneasy. Sara had glared daggers at all of them at the funeral, but none more-so than Ali. Emily had found it difficult not to leap over the pew and tackle her to the ground. After the service Sara had flittered away like some self-important diva.

The girls talked about following her, but Dr. Rollins approached them and asked to speak to Emily, and she hadn’t heard what the final plan had been. When he had Emily aside Dr. Rollins explained how fragile Alison was and said that he needed someone to come by to be with her while he dealt with something at Welby.

“Anything she needs,” Emily had replied.

After their conversation she updated the other girls. Her mother had come to pick her up and they were almost back at the Fields’ house. Her mother pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. Emily sat in the passenger’s seat for a moment. All she could think about was the look of sorrow in Ali’s eyes.

Pam Fields glanced over the center console at her daughter. She knew Emily well enough to know that the look she had on her face was one of deep contemplation. She was physically present, but her mind was on another wavelength.

“Em?” Pam reached over and touched Emily gently to shake her out of her trance. “We’re home…”

 _Yeah, home._ The word was bittersweet. She hated so much about this place, yet she couldn’t seem to leave it behind.

Emily plastered a fake smile on her face in hopes that it would fool her mom. She climbed out of the car and met her mother on the driver’s side.

“I appreciate you picking me up,” Emily said. “My car should be out of the shop soon.”

“I’m glad you’re getting it checked out. California is a long drive.” There was a hint of sadness in her tone. She wasn’t ready for Emily to leave.

Emily hadn’t missed her mother’s melancholy expression. She’d be ecstatic to hear that Emily wasn’t going back to California. Maybe being back wasn’t all bad. One good thing to come out of all of this was her time with her mother.

“I’m not going anywhere for a while.”

“So you decided to stay after all?” Pam excitedly looped her arm around Emily’s and they walked towards their front door.

“Well, the police suggested that we stay close to Rosewood while they work on the case,” Emily explained.

The smile on Pam’s face turned into a grimace.

“Yeah, but that could take weeks. Maybe even months.” Pam cocked her head in confusion. “They don’t think you had anything to do with what happened to her, do they?”

“I’m sure it’s just a routine investigation.” Emily tried to calm her mother’s fears.

“I don’t like the idea of them drudging up the past. You’ve worked so hard to overcome it.” Pam mashed her lips together in concern.

There was nothing but pure nerves in her voice. It’s a tone she’d taken on after Emily and her friends had been held captive for three weeks by Charlotte. Pam had never really been the same since. She’d spent over three agonizing weeks waiting with all the other girls’ parents…all the while not knowing if her daughter was dead or alive. It had tested her resolve more than she’d ever thought humanly possible.

When Emily had gotten home Pam barely recognized her. She still didn’t know the details of what happened in those weeks when the girls were missing, but she knew that her daughter had come home with scars that not even a mother’s love could fix. It was agonizing for her to watch Emily struggle. All she wanted to do was protect her. She’d kept a watchful eye on her, because she was constantly worried something was going to happen to her. She’d been terrified when Emily traveled across the country to go to college. But as the years went by she started to see traces of the girl her daughter had once been. When she talked to her on the phone she could hear the carefree little girl who used to run around the backyard squealing in laughter as her father chased her to tickle her. When she saw her smiling she was reminded of all the times Emily would look up at her from her crib and smile at her. Her little bright-eyed baby.

Pam would always worry about her. It was a mother’s job. From the cradle to the grave. And Emily knew how much her mother worried, which is exactly why she hadn’t told her about dropping out of college or how she’d blown through the trust fund her father had left her on doctor’s visits after her diagnosis. She’d seen her mother suffer too much after her father passed away. She couldn’t bear to put her through any more pain.

“It’s fine, mom.” Emily smiled reassuringly as they walked inside. “Really.”

“What about _The Salk Institute_?” Pam put her keys down on the counter.

Emily’s stomach clenched. That was a lie she was really starting to regret. Interning at _The Salk Institute_ had been her initial plan when she was in school. She’d been studying Biology before she lost her scholarship. She’d completely lost focus after her dad died. She flunked two of her courses and was forced to drop out after her scholarship was revoked. She’d wanted to tell her mother, but she knew that her mom was distraught dealing with her dad’s death. The more time that went by, the more Emily had to lie to cover her tracks.

“ _The Salk Institute_ will still be there when this is over.” Emily shrugged. “Besides, that’s not my only option.”

“Oh?” Pam perked up.

“Yeah, I’m looking into other things.” She tried to keep her fib simple.

“Like what?”

 _Clown college if I’m lucky._ She laughed darkly in thought.

“Oh, what about sports medicine? I always thought you’d be great at that.” Pam smiled.

Emily’s phone went off, alerting her to a text message. She glanced down at the screen and saw that it was a message from Hanna asking Emily to call her when she got a chance.

 _Saved by the bell._ She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Everything okay?” Pam questioned.

“Yeah, it’s just Hanna.” Emily nodded. “She wanted me to check in before I go over to Ali’s house.”

“That poor girl.” Pam shook her head and sighed. “How is she doing?”

“She was pretty upset at the service.” Emily glanced at the funeral program in her hand.

She didn’t even realize she was still holding it. She stared at it. It was strange seeing Charlotte’s face again after all these years. She knew that her friends hated that face, but Emily didn’t. Charlotte looked too much like Alison for Emily to hate her.

“Well, it was nice of you girls to go and support her.” Pam put her hand on Emily’s arm and smiled at her.

“Yeah.”

“Did you go to the cemetery?”

“No. Why?”

“I just figured…the DiLaurentis plot is close to ours. I thought you might want to visit your father. You haven’t seen the new headstone, have you? We could go together and take some flowers…talk to him…”

“I don’t need to go to a cemetery to talk to dad.” Emily interrupted her mother.

She immediately regretted cutting her off. She knew her mother was still hurting over their loss. Emily still welled up with tears every time anyone mentioned him. She wasn’t over the fact that he was gone. She probably never would be.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Pam glanced at the ground uncomfortably.

“You didn’t. I just…” Emily softened her tone and gave her mother an apologetic look, “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Okay.” Pam looked at her with uncertainty.

“I’m going to get changed and head over to Ali’s.” Emily walked towards the stairs.

“Let me know when you leave. I’ve got a casserole I’d like for you to take over.” Pam headed towards the kitchen.

Of course she did. Emily smiled. She took comfort in the fact that no matter how many things in her life changed, her mother was always consistent.

After she slipped into something a little more comfortable she grabbed the casserole and headed out the front door. She called Hanna to let her know that she was going to Alison’s house.

“What did you guys decide to do?” Emily asked.

“Spencer got the plates. She explained the situation to Toby and he agreed to run them at the precinct to see who the car belongs to.” Hanna huffed out a frustrated breath. “God, this is just like high school. Same decade, different crap.” She grumbled. “We never should have come back here. Charlotte is the root of everything that has gone wrong in our lives.” Emily could practically hear Hanna shaking her head and frowning. “You know, I bet she planned this. One final ‘screw you’ before her descent into hell.”

“Hanna!” Emily scolded her. “She was murdered.”

“Yeah, well Ali was dead, too. Remember?” Hanna rolled her eyes. “No one in this town is ever really dead.”

“Well, we can discuss zombies later. I’ve got to run. I’m at Ali’s.” She walked up the stairs to the front porch.

“Give her a hug for me.”

“I will.”

Emily was about to say goodbye, but Hanna interrupted her.

“Hey, do you have time to meet up for dinner tonight? There’s something I want to talk to you about.” There was an edge in her voice.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” The other end of the phone was silent. “Hanna? You still there?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Hanna replied. “It’s just something I think we should talk about in person. It’s about the night Charlotte was killed. You were pretty messed up, so you probably don’t remember any of it.”

Emily felt her breath hitch in her throat. Maybe she hadn’t been as discreet with her medications and injections that night as she’d thought.

“Just call me when Ali has settled and we can talk about it over dinner,” Hanna said.

“Yeah, sure. You want me to swing by _The Radley_?”

“Actually, I’m not staying at _The Radley_. I ran into Lucas after the funeral. He has a loft that he never uses. He offered to let me and Caleb stay here while we’re in town. I’ll text you the address.”

They said their goodbyes, leaving Emily reeling wondering what it was that Hanna had been so nervous about. She’d never known Hand-Grenade Hanna to shy away from saying anything. She shook it off and knocked on Alison’s door. It opened almost immediately. Doctor Rollins smiled at her.

“Hi.” Emily smiled back.

“Emily, come in.” He waved her in.

“My mom is kinda into comfort food.” She glanced at the dish in her hand. “It’s a broccoli and cheddar casserole.”

“That was very thoughtful.” He took the casserole out of her hands. “Thank you for coming.”

He took the casserole into the kitchen and then they walked to Alison’s bedroom. They stopped at her doorway. Ali was curled up in her bed with tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t moving. She was catatonic. Emily remembered that feeling very well. She’d lost track of how many days she’d spent crying in bed after her dad died. She felt a knot in her throat as her emotions from that day came rushing back to her. For a second she thought she was going to fall into the floor and start sobbing, but she was able to regain control. All she had to do was think about how much Alison needed her.

“I’ve tried to get her to talk about it.” Rollins sighed.

“Has she…”

“Not a word.” Rollins shook his head. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes. It was clear he’d been crying, too. “If I…” His voice quivered, “…if I thought there was any chance that something like this would have happened I never would have let her leave the hospital.” Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes.

Emily wasn’t sure what to say, so she just nodded in sympathy.

“I shouldn’t be too long.” He cleared his throat and looked at his watch. He glanced at Alison. “Stay with her until she falls asleep,” he said softly.

“Of course.” Emily nodded.

He walked out of the room. Emily’s phone went off and she glanced at it. It was a reminder for her doctor’s appointment in an hour. In all the chaos of the past few days she’d completely forgotten about the appointment she’d made at Hollis Medical Center. She’d meant to reschedule it as soon as she found out about Charlotte’s death. She looked at Alison and then back to her phone. Her doctor’s appointment would have to wait. She couldn’t leave Ali in the state that she was in. She put her phone on silent and shoved it in her pocket.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. At first the only movement she felt was the slight rise and fall of the mattress when Ali would breathe. But after a few seconds the bed started shaking. Ali was sobbing quietly under the covers. Emily felt something brush up against her fingers and saw that Ali was reaching for her hand. She took it without hesitation. Ali curled her fingers around Emily’s hand and squeezed it so tight that Emily started to lose feeling in the tips of her fingers.

“Em…”

Emily was startled to hear her voice. She hadn’t expected her to say anything, especially given that Rollins had said she hadn’t spoken in days.

“I’m here, Ali,” Emily said softly. She leaned up against Ali’s headboard and crawled beside her.

Ali instinctively wrapped her arms around Emily and buried her face into her chest. Her body trembled as she wept. After a while, she fell asleep in Emily’s arms.

Emily was afraid to move because she didn’t want to wake her, so she just let Ali rest while she stared at the room where she’d fallen in love for the first time. They were just kids at the time. Emily had known that she loved Alison, but she didn’t understand the extent of how much she loved her. After Ali dismissed her feelings and pushed her away Emily had been cautious about her feelings when it came to her.

But when Ali disappeared Emily spent weeks in her room crying, thinking she’d never see her again. When Ali came back and begged for her help Emily realized how much she’d changed. There was a vulnerability Ali only felt comfortable showing Emily. When she was finally able to come back to town they’d spent weeks dancing around their feelings until one night Ali looked her in the eyes and kissed her.

That night seemed like such a distant memory. They had been through so much together. They had shared things with one another that none of their other friends knew about. Despite their ups and downs, they had always had a connection. There was a bond between the two of them that would always be there. The secrets fell away. They had promised no more lies.

But that wasn’t a promise Emily could keep anymore. All she could do was be here, now. In the moment. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Alison’s breathing. It lulled her to sleep.

When she woke up she expected Alison to still be soundly asleep, but when she looked down to check on her she saw that her eyes were wide open. Her gaze was fixed on a small glass statue of the Eiffel Tower on the table next to her bed. She felt Ali shuffle. Emily shifted her arm because it was numb from the way she’d fallen asleep on it.

“Emily?” Ali nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Yeah?” Emily looked down. Her cheek was still pressed against Emily’s chest. It was damp from her tears.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Her voice was shaky and raspy from crying.

“They’d have to drag me away kicking and screaming.” Emily shook her head.

“Good.” She breathed of a sigh of relief.

“Can I get you anything?” Emily shifted her legs to get more comfortable. “Water? Tea?”

“No.” Ali reached up to wipe her face.

Emily knew she couldn’t give her the one thing she really wanted…her sister back. She knew how Ali felt. Emily would give anything to have her dad back.

“I’m so sorry, Ali,” Emily said softly.

“You’re the first person who has said that who I actually believe.” Ali laughed darkly. “I know Charlotte made a lot of enemies. I don’t think many people are sorry that she’s gone.” She slowly sat up next to Emily. “I wish people had gotten the chance to meet the new her…the real her.”

Emily tried not to let on how uncomfortable she was, but Ali could read her like a book.

“I haven’t forgotten everything she put us through,” she put her hand on Emily’s arm. “But she was sick. Most people didn’t understand that.”

For the first time in a long time Emily remembered that Charlotte hadn’t been born a monster. No one was born with that much hate in their heart. Charlotte had been a product of her environment. She had done unforgivable things. She had caused a lot of people pain, but that didn’t mean that Charlotte DiLaurentis didn’t have pain of her own. Emily thought back to her conversation with Toby a few nights ago and something he’d said registered in her mind.

_I don’t have to forgive her to understand her._

“I saw who she really was after her treatment. She was hurt…damaged...” Ali’s nose crinkled and her lips trembled, “…and if the circumstances had been just the slightest bit different I realized…that could have been me.”

“You never would have…”

“I’ve hurt people, Em. My family, Hanna, Aria, Spencer, you...” Her voice cracked as she fought her emotions. “God, I put you through hell. Half of this town was destroyed by me in some way or another.” She sniffled. “I was a terrible person.”

“We’ve all made mistakes.” Emily glanced away uncomfortably. “I’ve certainly made my fair share.”

“Charlotte was killed for hers.” Ali closed her eyes and tried not to start crying again. “I never should have pushed for her release. She’d still be alive…”

“No.” Emily interrupted her. “The second you start blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault you’ll slip down a path that is almost impossible to come back from. Blaming yourself isn’t going to bring her back.”

Ali nodded solemnly.

“I knew you’d understand.” She turned to face Emily. “I think he knew I wanted it to be you.”

“What?” Emily’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Elliott,” she explained. “He didn’t know how to reach me. He wanted to help me, but he couldn’t. I guess he knew that you could.” She sighed. “You um…you always come through for me, Em. I wish I had your big heart.”

Emily suppressed a laugh.

_No. You really don’t._

The room was silent for a few minutes and then Ali took a nervous breath. Emily could feel her shivering and she thought she was going to start crying again. Instead she took another breath, this one slower and calmer. She looked at Emily with an apologetic look in her eyes.

“I should have been there for you after your dad died.” Ali nervously brushed her hair behind her ears.

“Ali, you don’t have to apologize…”

“No, I’ve been thinking about it. This whole thing with Charlotte…it’s reminded me that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own life that I forget that I’m not the only one with pain. When you lose someone…it’s like you’re free-falling and there’s no net. There’s nothing to stop you from falling. So you’re just…suspended. And when my mom died I swore I’d never let anyone I cared about go through that alone. I knew exactly how you felt when you lost your dad, and I wasn’t there. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Emily reassured her.

She waited to see if Ali was going to bring up the fact that she’d come by Emily’s house that day and run into Toby. She was dying to ask her more about that. She wanted to ask her why she hadn’t stayed. But she also knew that Ali was fragile right now, and she wasn’t willing to risk upsetting her more just to curb her curiosity.

Alison didn’t say much after that. It didn’t matter to Emily that they weren’t talking. She’d said enough. Emily could tell she was exhausted, so she just let her be.

There were a lot of uncertainties in Emily’s life, but her love for Ali wasn’t one of them.


	4. Not For the Faint of Heart

When Rollins got back and found out that Ali was up and talking his jaw nearly hit the floor. He looked both confused and amazed. He invited Emily to stay for dinner, but she declined since she’d already made plans with Hanna. She saw the look of disappointment on Ali’s face and thought about postponing her plans. Ali saw her mulling it over in thought. Emily glanced at her phone. She knew Hanna would understand. But before she could hit the “call” button Ali put her hand over Emily’s phone and gently pushed it down.

“Don’t.” She shook her head. “You don’t need to put your life on hold for me. Not again.”

“That’s not what this is about.” Emily assured her. “I know you’ve been through a lot and I just don’t feel right…” She drifted off, unsure of how she wanted to finish her thought.

“What? Having a good time?” She asked. “It’s okay, Emily. You should be able to smile and laugh. Just because my life is miserable right now doesn’t mean yours has to be.”

_Oh, Ali, if you only knew…_ She tried not to think of the web of lies she was currently caught in.

“Go,” Ali said, and she sounded sincere.

“Are you sure?” Emily asked. “I really don’t mind staying.”

“I know.” Ali nodded with a weak smile. She knew that Emily would do anything for her. She’d used that to her advantage for years. But she was different now. She never wanted to hurt her again. Emily deserved so much more than someone who was careless with her feelings. “I’ll be fine.”

Rollins walked into the living room with two plates full of food. Pam’s casserole was the main course. Pam would have been so excited to see that out of all the comfort food in Ali’s house, hers was the top pick. He put a plate in front of Ali and then sat down next to her.

Emily took that as her cue to leave. She wasn’t really sure what was going on between the two of them, but she felt uncomfortable being there with them. Or maybe it was just Rollins she was uncomfortable with. She felt like there was more going on beneath the surface than he let on.

“Call me if you need anything.” She waved to Ali.

“I will. Thanks, Em.”

Emily left the house and was halfway down the driveway when she heard the front door open and close behind her.

“Emily!” She heard Rollins calling to her. She turned around and saw him step off of the porch. He had her mother’s dish in his hand. He jogged over to her. “Sorry, I meant to give this back to you before you left, but I got distracted.”

He handed her the dish. It was so clean it was practically sparkling. He was as anal-retentive as her mother. Then again, he was a doctor. He bathed in sterility.

“Thanks.”

“I hope it’s clean enough.”

Emily observed it and let out a chuckle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this clean…and that’s saying a lot. My mom is pretty neurotic when it comes to cleanliness.”

“Please be sure to thank her for it. I look forward to the leftovers.” He smiled. “The kindness that everyone has shown the past few days has been very helpful.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked back towards the house. “She seems…” He trailed off.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded with a polite smile.

“I haven’t seen her this…” He tried to find the right word, “ _alive_ …” He turned around to face Emily again, “…since Charlotte…” His throat constricted as he tried to hold back his emotions at the mention of his former patient. He shook his head, “…I still can’t believe it. Who would do something like that?”

_Is he serious?_ Emily asked herself. Charlotte’s history spoke for itself. Even Alison had mentioned how many enemies she had…less than an hour ago. Instead of listing every infraction, misdemeanor, and felony on Charlotte’s record Emily just gave him a sympathetic look.

“The cops will find out who is responsible,” Emily said. “It won’t bring her back, but maybe it’ll give you guys some closure.”

“You should consider a career in grief counseling.” He seemed impressed.

“Well, I’ve certainly got the credentials for it,” she muttered.

She’d said it just low enough that he hadn’t heard her. Or he was so focused on Alison that he wasn’t paying attention.

“What did the two of you talk about?” He asked.

Emily detected a hint of nerves in his voice. What was that look in his eyes? Was it intimidation? She shook it off. She was being ridiculously paranoid. Rosewood was bringing back all of her old fears and insecurities. Before she could respond he shook his head and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry. Never mind. That was rude.” He looked at the ground and then back up at Emily. “Medical habit. We ask a lot of questions.”

Emily couldn’t argue with what she knew to be true. Every time she went to the doctor she felt like she was taking an exam she didn’t know any of the answers to. And she flunked most of the time.

“Whatever you said to her…thank you.” He shuffled his feet.

“Of course,” Emily said.

Her phone went off from inside her purse. Every time she heard her alarm she wanted to stick her phone in a blender. She often fantasized about all the different ways she could kill the little electronic ball and chain. Sometimes she thought about throwing it in the microwave. Sometimes it was tied to a brick and thrown into the ocean. And sometimes she simply just thought about taking a hammer to it.

“Uh, I’ve got to run.” Emily glanced at her watch. “If you need anything else just let me know.”

“I appreciate that.” He turned to go back inside, but then he spun around to face her again. “Oh, I almost forgot…Alison and I would like to have you over for dinner sometime this week.”

Emily wasn’t sure how to respond. Neither one of them had flat out told her that they were dating, though it was looking more and more like Rollins was more than just a friend. But then again, why would Alison need Emily if she had him? It wasn’t Rollins that Alison had bared her soul to tonight. And if they weren’t dating then why would Ali think that Emily would want to break bread with Charlotte’s shrink?

Emily was so lost in thought that she didn’t even realize Rollins was still talking.

“…and we just wanted to do something to say thank you. So maybe you could talk to the others and see what works for them?”

“Oh…” The realization hit her. It was a dinner for all of the girls. “…sure. That sounds great.” That lie had come out extremely convincing. “I’ll let you know.” She tried to look excited about it. “I’ll see you later, Doctor Rollins.”

“Call me Elliott. Please,” he said with a charming smile.

Emily said goodbye to Elliott and then started to walk home. She texted Hanna to let her know she was going home to drop off her mother’s dish and to grab the car so she could head over. Hanna texted back that she’d ordered takeout and Emily told her she’d pick it up on the way.

When she got home she ran in and said a quick hello to her mother. She slipped into the kitchen to grab a glass of water to take her meds and then grabbed the car keys and ran out the front door, eager to find out what Hanna was so wound up about. She sent Hanna another text to let her know she was leaving and then went to put her phone in her purse. As she was fumbling around with her purse she accidentally dropped the keys.

She bent down to grab them and then straightened up. When she stood up there were stars in her eyes. Her purse slipped off of her arm and she dropped the keys again. Her yard was spinning around her. Her head started throbbing. She put her hands on the railing to keep her balance. She leaned forward and tightened her grip on the banister.

She heard a noise, but couldn’t tell what it was. She looked up and saw what looked like a shadow moving towards her. Suddenly, she was flashing back to every time she’d been assaulted by a maniac in a hoodie and that just made her dizziness worse.

_Not here. Not now._ She begged. If this went on for much longer her mother might come out and find her passed out on the porch.

She took a deep breath and the world started to come back to her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Emily?”

The shadow from across the street was standing next to her. When her vision returned to normal she was peering into a familiar pair of blue eyes.

“Toby.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you okay?” Toby was decked out in his police uniform. He had one hand on his radio like he was getting ready to call for help.

“I’m fine.” The dizziness had passed.

“You should sit down.” He gently grabbed her arm and guided her towards her porch swing.

“No, I’m okay.”

She was starting to feel almost normal again. She hadn’t had a spell this bad in almost a month. It was probably the universe yelling at her for skipping her doctor’s appointment. The universe was a fickle bitch.

“You don’t look okay.” He had a stern dad-like look on his face.

“It’s nothing.” She pushed her hair back behind her ears and took a breath. “Panic attack.” She lied. “I still get them from time to time.”

He looked at her skeptically, but then nodded his head.

“What are you doing here?” Emily asked. “I see more of you now than when you actually lived on this street.”

“I had to drop some election forms off for Mrs. Hastings.” He looked down the street towards Spencer’s house.

“God, Spencer must be going crazy working on her mother’s campaign.” Emily laughed.

“More like she’s driving everyone crazy.” Toby smiled. There was still a spark in his eyes when he talked about Spencer. He clearly missed her.

“You know she’s going to be President one day.” Emily had always known Spencer was going to do great things in life.

“Yeah, probably.” He nodded. “If she doesn’t piss off all of Congress first.”

Emily chuckled thinking about Spencer Hastings sitting in the Oval Office buzzing on a caffeine high and roasting their government about all the policies she hated.

“Knowing Spencer she’ll piss them off and _still_ get the job,” Emily said.

“It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“I should get going. I’m meeting up with Hanna for dinner.” She walked towards her purse, but Toby got to it first.

Emily kept her eyes on her bag, hoping that nothing had fallen out when she’d dropped it. She didn’t see anything loose on the porch. Toby picked up her bag and car keys. He handed her purse to her, but held on to her keys.

“I’m not so sure you should be driving.”

“Relax. I’m all good now.”

“Where are you heading?”

“What…are you going to ask me to take a sobriety test?” Emily teased him.

“No. I know you’re not drunk. When you were in high school you used to call for a designated driver if you accidentally swallowed mouthwash that might have had alcohol in it.” He lifted his eyebrows and grinned.

“That was one time.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Come on. Let me be your chauffeur.” He pointed to his cruiser, which he’d parked across the street. “Just help me put my mind at ease. I’ll feel better knowing you got to your destination safely and that you’re not slumped over a steering wheel driving into a cornfield somewhere.” He smiled.

She never had been able to say ‘no’ to that smile.

“Whatever you say, Officer Cavanaugh.”

“I’m off-duty. You can call me Toby.” He laughed.

He drove her to pick up the takeout Hanna had ordered and then she gave him the address to the loft. Emily called her mother to let her know that she’d hitched a ride with Toby. She didn’t want Pam to see the car out front and worry about where she was. When she got off the phone Toby turned to her.

“She still worries, huh?” He asked.

“Always.” Emily nodded.

“Hey, how frequent are your panic attacks?”

“Virtually nonexistent.” It wasn’t a lie. She rarely got them. “Sometimes I just get worked up when I’m here.” That wasn’t a lie either.

“You ever talk to the other girls about them?”

“No.”

“It might help. They’ve been through it, too, you know. I know Spencer had them for a few months after the dollhouse. And Caleb and Ezra said Hanna and Aria had night terrors.”

She remembered very well how damaged they had all been after they’d been rescued from the dollhouse. It was months before any of them got a good night’s sleep. Emily still had nightmares from time to time. She’d wake up in a cold sweat, her face streaked with tears, her hands clammy and her body trembling. Then she’d spend the rest of the night convincing herself that she was safe. The night terrors were second nature to her at this point. She knew that they would never completely get over what happened to them when they were held captive, but time had helped heal some of their wounds.

“There’s no need to talk about it. It’s not that big of a deal.” She played it off. She was hoping he wouldn’t ask questions. She quickly changed the subject. “Hanna says you’re looking into the car Sara Harvey came to the funeral in?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. He stopped at a red light. “It belongs to a rental service. And since I didn’t go through the proper legal channels to get this information I can’t really follow up on it.” The light turned green and the car inched forward. “Probably wouldn’t find anything anyway. Renting cars isn’t exactly a crime.”

“So, it’s a dead end?”

“Unfortunately,” he said. “Although, one thing I do know is that Sara Harvey couldn’t possibly be the one who killed Charlotte. Physically, it’s not possible…with her hands. The girl can barely hold a pen to sign her name, much less throw someone from a bell tower. Plus, she has an alibi. The police looked into it. It’s legit.” He turned a corner. “The coroner ruled Charlotte’s time of death between 3 and 4 in the morning. And Sara was on a red eye on her way from Atlanta to New York with at least a dozen other people who can confirm that.”

“I still think she’s involved somehow.” Emily stared at the floorboard. Toby’s cruiser was freakishly clean.

“I heard you saw Alison,” Toby said. “How is she?”

“She’s…” Emily didn’t really have the words to describe Alison, “…Ali. She’s dealing in her own Ali way.”

“When Lorenzo and I broke the news to her about Charlotte she completely fell apart.” He sighed. “It was like everything inside of her shut down. She looked at me, and then she was looking right through me.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Emily had seen that very look earlier tonight. “She’s always been the strongest person I know. I’ve never seen her like this.”

There was a beat of silence and then Toby tightened his grip on the steering wheel and glanced at Emily.

“I have.” He pulled up to a building and put the car in park. “She’s not as indestructible as she acts. She’s just gotten really good at pretending she is. She hides behind these walls she’s had up since she was a kid.” He mindlessly rubbed his thumb against the steering wheel. “The only time I’ve ever seen those walls come down is when you’re around.”

Emily peered at him in curiosity.

“Toby, what did the two of you talk about when she came by after my dad’s funeral?”

He sighed.

“What is it? What aren’t you telling me?” she asked.

“Look, the things she told me that night were personal. I really think you should talk to her.”

“You are the worst gossip ever.” Emily gave him a hard time.

He laughed.

“Have fun with Hanna.” He nodded towards the building.

“Thanks for the ride.” Emily climbed out of the car, food in hand.

“Any time.”

They said goodbye and she walked into the building. She made her way to the loft, where Hanna was eagerly awaiting her arrival. The door to the loft opened immediately after Emily knocked.

“Finally!” Hanna exclaimed. “I’m starved.” She grabbed the takeout from Emily.

“It’s good to see you, too, Han…” Emily said sarcastically as she shut the door.

“Sorry.” Hanna shrugged. “You know I eat when I’m stressed.”

She put the food down on the table and started sorting through it. She had already set dishes and silverware out. Emily looked around the loft. Lucas had done very well for himself. She was impressed.

“Where’s Caleb?” Emily questioned.

“He’s at some election thing. He’s working on Mrs. Hastings’ campaign with Spencer. He does something with tracking the polls and numbers. He’s explained it to me, but all I hear is ‘code, code, code, codey, code.”

Emily laughed and sat down at the table. Hanna sat down across from her.

“So, what’s up?” Emily asked.

Hanna’s face tightened. She had a worried expression in her eyes.

_She knows._ Emily thought to herself. But how? She’d been so careful that night, even with the alcohol on board.

“How much do you remember about that night at the hotel?” Hanna questioned.

“Not much.” Emily felt her stomach tense up. “Why?”

“After I found you passed out in the bathroom I realized it wasn’t just a hangover. You were burning up. You kept trying to tell me that you ate some bad shrimp or something, but I figured you were delusional from the fever…”

Emily watched Hanna’s facial expressions carefully. She was beyond worried…beyond upset.

“…so,” Hanna continued, “I left to go get you some ice because I thought that might help you, and when I got back,” she ran her fingers through her hair and let out a sigh, “Aria was gone.”

“Oh…” Emily breathed a sigh of relief. She realized that Hanna was staring at her.

“ _Oh_?” Hanna asked. “I tell you that our friend was missing the night someone who used to torment us was killed and you say ‘oh’?”

“No, I know, I just…I’m confused.” Emily rolled her fork around in her fingers. “What exactly are you saying? That she…”

“No!” Hanna exclaimed. She hesitated and shook her head. “Maybe.” She shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t know.” She pushed some food around on her plate. “At first I thought that maybe she was just in the bathroom. I took you an icepack and when I walked into the room you were so out of it you thought I was Aria. You said something about a phone call and asked me if everything was okay…because I’d sounded upset on the phone. Do you remember anything about that?”

The only thing Emily remembered from that night was Spencer threatening to drunk dial the mayor. Hanna had taken her phone away and hidden it.

“Em?” Hanna begged for an answer.

“Um,” Her thoughts were reeling, “no. I don’t even remember you coming back into the room with the ice.”

“Yeah. I thought that might be the case.” She sounded disappointed. “I knew it was a long shot.”

“This is crazy.” Emily shook her head. “It’s _Aria_. She would never do something like that. She knows how much Ali cared about Charlotte. She may not have liked Charlotte, but she wouldn’t hurt Ali like that.”

“You saw her at the hearing. She was totally unhinged. And she was super twitchy about the whole thing afterwards.”

“We all were.” Emily just couldn’t accept the fact that Aria could kill someone in cold blood, not even Charlotte. “I mean, maybe she had a work emergency or she needed to step out to get some air. Did you ask her about it?”

“Yeah. After the funeral…when we found out that Charlotte was murdered, I told Aria that I knew she left the room that night. She said she was just gone for a few minutes because she went to the vending machine to get some snacks. She lied to me, Emily. There is no way she just left to get food. I was up with you for two hours making sure that you didn’t choke on your own vomit.”

“Ugh, Hanna…” Emily looked down at her dinner and suddenly realized that she no longer had an appetite.

“What? It’s true. I honestly don’t know where it all came from. It was impressive. I think I saw every color in the rainbow and then some. You should really get that checked out, by the way.”

Emily almost burst into laughter. Upchucking the colors of the rainbow was the least of her worries.

“Anyway, she was gone for way longer than it would take for someone to go on a snack run.” Hanna bit her lip.

“Maybe she ate her weight in corn chips and slept it off in a closet.”

“I don’t think so.” Hanna frowned. “Caleb is checking the security tapes. It’s the first chance he’s had to access them without anyone noticing. If I’m right…Aria might be in serious trouble.”

Emily pursed her lips in thought.

“What time did she leave?”

“Uh…around 2:30. Why?” Hanna took a sip of her drink.

“And you were up for two hours?”

“Yeah, I finally fell asleep around 4:15.” Hanna nodded. “She still wasn’t back, but when I woke up in the morning she was asleep on the couch.”

Emily’s heart dropped. Her stomach was twisted in knots.

“Em, what is it?”

“Toby told me that Charlotte was killed between 3 and 4 that morning.”

Hanna almost dropped her fork. She had a pained expression on her face. It was like if there had been any doubt in her mind that Aria had done it, it had just been crushed.

“Have you talked to Spencer about this?” Emily asked.

“No. She’s been so busy that I haven’t had the chance.”

“Well, we need to sort this out. If the police start asking questions and it gets back to Aria she could end up going down for this.” Emily grabbed her phone and started typing a message.

“Who are you texting?”

“Aria. And then I’m texting Spencer. We need to figure this out. Tonight.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” Hanna said.

“Why not?”

“Because Aria is on a flight home right now. Something about work.”

“She _left_ town?” Emily nearly dropped her phone in shock. She caught it before it fell into her salad dressing.

“Doesn’t look good, does it?” Hanna buried her face in her hands. “God, this town is going to be the death of us.”

“Maybe if we’re lucky our deaths will be quick and painless.” Emily laughed caustically.

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Neither one of them knew what to say. They knew what this looked like, but they couldn’t accept it. All Emily could think about was Aria at seven years old, cuddling her stuffed pig, Pigtunia at a sleepover at Spencer’s house. Aria at ten, forcing her little brother to hold her hand when they crossed the street even though he whined about it. Aria at twelve, hugging her on the playground because she was crying about her dad being deployed. Aria at fifteen, holding her hand and comforting her after Ali’s disappearance. She had been through a lot. They all had. But Emily had grown up with Aria. She knew her. And she knew in her heart that Aria couldn’t be responsible for this mess.

Emily’s phone alerted her to a text. Hanna’s beeped from across the room. Emily glanced down at the screen. This time, she did drop the phone. She instinctively jerked backwards and her hand hit her plate, sending food all over the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Hanna looked up, startled.

Emily was too busy trying not to hyperventilate to answer, so she pushed her phone over to Hanna so she could see for herself. Hanna’s eyes widened when she read the text. It was simple, but menacing.

_“You know who killed her, and I’m going to make you talk.”_

“No, this…no.” Hanna stood up and walked over to her purse. She pulled her phone out. She had the exact same message. “I do not accept this. No!” She threw her hands in the air as if this was the most preposterous thing in the world.

Emily heard a faint buzzing sound in her ears and for a moment she thought she was going to pass out. It was a strange feeling, but one that she was used to. She considered giving in at first.

_Maybe if I die of a heart attack I won’t have to deal with this._

But then she realized that the familiar sensation had nothing to do with her heart. It was a feeling of dread…the same feeling she got back in high school every time she got a text from an unknown number. It was a feeling she thought had died when Charlotte DiLaurentis was killed. It was something she never thought she’d have to deal with again.

_A_ was back.


	5. Burning Questions

Spencer called Hanna in a complete panic over the text. Emily tried to call Aria, but her phone went straight to voicemail. She assumed Aria was still on the plane. It’s what she wanted to believe. She didn’t want to think that Aria was ignoring them.

“Hey, Aria, call me as soon as you land.” She paced around the loft. “We need to talk.” She looked across the room at Hanna, who was on the phone talking to Spencer. Emily lowered her voice and continued her message, “Look, whatever sent you running for the hills…I get it. Believe me.” There were times Emily wanted to disappear, too. “But whatever you’re going through…you don’t have to go through it alone.” She felt like a total hypocrite considering her friends knew nothing about her life in California. “You know we love you. Just…please call me.”

She hung up the phone and walked over to Hanna. Hanna put Spencer on speaker phone.

“This is a joke, right?” Spencer asked. “It’s someone who knows we’re back in town and they’re using this situation to mess with us.”

“It’s a pretty specific threat, Spencer.” Emily’s tone was a lot snottier than she’d meant for it to be.

“No, Spencer’s right. It has to be someone’s idea of a sick joke. It can’t be _A._ Charlotte is dead. We saw her in a freaking casket this morning.” Hanna’s voice was at an octave that Emily was convinced that dogs could hear a mile away.

“Charlotte isn’t the only one who tortured us in high school.” Emily couldn’t force herself to make eye contact with Hanna. She hated to even bring it up. She knew that despite everything Mona Vanderwaal had put the girls through, Hanna still loved her.

“Mona?” Hanna seemed surprised by the accusation.

Emily glanced at her as if to say, “I’m sorry” and then shrugged. Emily didn’t like thinking that Mona could have returned to her old ways either, but they were running out of suspects.

“Mona couldn’t have sent that text.” Spencer interjected. “She’s working on the State Senate campaign. I saw her at the call center a few minutes before we got the message. She was talking to a potential voter.”

Emily felt a sense of relief wash over her body, but at the same time she could feel a tense pressure climbing up her spine. She was glad that Mona didn’t seem to be involved, but if it wasn’t Mona, then who was it?

“Let’s boomerang back to Sara Harvey,” Spencer suggested.

“Toby said she has an alibi for the night Charlotte was killed.” Hanna sat down on the couch.

Emily sat down next to her.

“Right, but that doesn’t mean she’s not involved,” Spencer said.

“I agree.” Emily nodded. “She could be working with someone.”

“Did you talk to Aria? What does she think?” Spencer questioned.

Emily looked at Hanna.

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” she asked.

Hanna shook her head.

“Tell me what?” Spencer sounded annoyed.

Hanna and Emily exchanged a nervous glance. Hanna motioned for Emily to say something. Emily glared at her and shook her head. Hanna shot back with a look that said, _you tell her._ Emily looked at Hanna like she was crazy with a silent retort that said, _I’m not gonna tell her. YOU tell her._

“Guys!” Spencer snapped.

Emily was the one who caved,

“Aria left the hotel the night Charlotte was killed.”

“What!?” Spencer practically screamed into the phone.

“She was gone for a couple of hours.” Hanna added.

“Are you _sure_? I mean we were all pretty wasted that night. I found my phone in the refrigerator the next morning. And you puked in the bathtub,” Spencer said.

“Uh, that was me,” Emily said sheepishly.

“She was gone for over two hours…” Hanna frowned, “…and it was around the time that Charlotte was killed.”

“Okay, well, we need to go talk to Aria.” Spencer suggested.

“She isn’t in Rosewood.” Emily tried to break the news to Spencer delicately.

“What do you mean she’s not in Rosewood? Where is she?”

Emily looked at Hanna as if to say, _that’s all you._

“She sent me a text a few hours ago saying she had to go back to Boston for business,” Hanna explained.

“But we all agreed that we’d stay here until the police sorted this out.” Spencer’s tone had an eerie calmness to it.

Emily and Hanna recognized that tone. It was the calm before the storm. She was about to blow a gasket.

“I’m sure she’ll come back as soon as she can.” Emily tried to be optimistic.

They waited for Spencer to go on a curse-filled tirade, but all they heard on the other end of the phone was silence.

“Spence? You still there?” Hanna asked.

“I’m gonna kill her,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. “I am going to wring her little hobbit neck.”

“Do you really think it’s wise to be doling out death threats right now?” Emily leaned her cheek against her palm and massaged her temple.

“Who said it was just a threat?” Spencer asked. “I am going to throttle her. She hopped a plane and skipped town!”

“It was for work.” Emily reminded her.

“Yeah, so? I was supposed to go back to D.C., but I’m still here!” Spencer exclaimed angrily. “We’re supposed to be in this together!”

“I can’t believe there is a ‘this’ to be in again.” Hanna groaned.

“Well, whatever ‘this’ is we need to put a pin in it for now.” Emily tried to think about things rationally. “We’re not going to be able to solve it tonight.”

“Yeah, thanks to Aria going all _Prison Break_ on us…”

“Spencer, stop.” Emily shook her head. “We got that text less than an hour ago and we’re already ready to turn on one another. This is exactly what this sociopath wants.”

Spencer sighed loudly on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. You’re right, Em,” she said. “This is just…” She trailed off.

“I know.” Emily nodded.

“Oh, I’ve got someone cutting in. Hold on.” There was a pause and then Spencer continued, “I’ve got to take this. It’s work.”

“Go.” Emily was starting to wish she had a steady job to distract her. “Save the country from itself.”

“I’d settle for being able to save our asses from this fire,” Spencer muttered. Hanna and Emily chuckled. “I’ll check in with you guys soon. Call me when you hear from Aria.”

Spencer hung up and Hanna put her phone down on the table next to the sofa.

“You know…when I was driving into town and I saw that ‘Welcome to Rosewood’ sign I thought about pulling up my emergency brake and doing some serious backpedaling. I knew coming back was a mistake. And I still did it,” Hanna said.

“We all did.”

“Why? Why can’t we stay away?”

Emily had come back for one reason, and one reason only. Because Ali needed her, and once upon a time she’d made a promise that she’d always be there for her. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for Alison DiLaurentis.

_Old habits die hard._ She thought to herself.

“What are we going to do?” Hanna swished some wine around in her glass.

“I don’t know.” Emily stood up. She went to grab her things. “We can figure it out tomorrow.”

“Hey, why don’t you just stay here?” Hanna put her glass down.

“I couldn’t impose…”

“No, you wouldn’t be. Caleb probably won’t be home until late. And I don’t want to be here alone.” Hanna wrapped her arms around herself and hugged her chest. She stared at her phone, as if she was waiting for it to chime with another hateful message.

Emily looked at the clock. It was pushing midnight. When had it gotten so late?

“Okay. Sure.” Emily nodded. She wasn’t about to leave her best friend in a lurch.

They stayed up talking for a while. Emily didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she woke up the loft was dark except for the glow of the clock on the stove. Hanna had gone to bed. Emily rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. She tossed and turned for a while. She was still shaken by the day’s events.

When the girls had gotten up this morning their biggest concern had been whether or not they would be able to make it through Charlotte’s funeral. Now, they were basically under house-arrest, their best friend had fled town under strange circumstances, they were being stalked, and they were wrapped up in a murder they had nothing to do with.

On top of that, Emily was still trying to figure out what was going on with Alison and Rollins…and where exactly she fit in. Ali had latched on to her in the past, but never like this. It was almost like Ali didn’t know how to breathe without Emily around. She kept thinking about what Toby said about Ali being broken and vulnerable. It hurt Emily to know how much pain Ali was in.

When she did finally manage to fall asleep she had vivid dreams about Alison running scared through the darkness and crying out for help.

_“Emily! Help me! Please!”_

_“Ali, where are you?”_ Emily heard herself call back to her.

But the only answer Emily got was the sound of Alison’s sobbing. Emily ran towards her cries. She couldn’t see anything around her. The only thing she had to focus on was Alison’s voice. Her legs were burning. Her heart was pounding. Suddenly, Alison’s crying stopped. Emily felt a shock jolt her body. She heard a noise behind her and spun around, but nothing was there. She circled around looking for where to go. Before she could move, a figure tore through the shadows and grabbed her. She opened her mouth to scream, but she couldn’t breathe.

A loud buzzing noise shook her out of her dream. She sat up on the couch and blinked a few times to make sure she was back in reality. She wiped some sweat covered strands of her hair out of her face. Her phone buzzed again. She reached over towards the table and nearly fell off the couch trying to grab it.

“Aria?” She answered hopefully.

“Is this Emily Fields?” A voice she didn’t recognize asked.

Emily glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Hollis Medical Center. She looked towards the bedroom. She thought she heard Caleb snoring behind the closed door. She hadn’t even heard him come in last night. Or maybe it was Hanna snoring…

“This is her,” she answered quietly.

“This is Jennice from Doctor Hardy’s office. We had you down for an appointment yesterday…”

“Yes, I am so sorry.” She immediately jumped in to apologize. “There was a…death in the family.” She cringed at calling Charlotte ‘family’, but it’s not like she could explain the situation to the receptionist on the other end of the phone. “I meant to call and reschedule, but things have been hectic.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she sounded genuinely sympathetic. “My condolences.”

“Thank you.”

“The reason I’m calling is because the doctor believes it would be in your best interest to come in to get your Labwork, EKG, and Echo sooner rather than later. Your physician in California has briefed Dr. Hardy on the trial and about the importance of tracking the progress of your condition. With this kind of diagnosis, we like to stay on top of things. We had a cancellation this afternoon and the doctor wanted to see if you could come in.”

“Absolutely,” Emily said. “Whatever you have available, I’ll make it work. It’s the least I can do for inconveniencing you yesterday.”

“Great. Can I put you down for noon?”

Emily looked at the clock above the stove. It was 9:30. She had just enough time to get home, eat, shower, and change.

“I’ll be there.” Emily got up off of the couch.

She walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. A few minutes later Hanna’s bedroom door opened and Hanna walked out.

“Who were you talking to?” Hanna yawned. “Was it Aria?”

“No.” Emily shook her head. “It was work.” She stared at the coffee-maker so she didn’t have to look at Hanna when she lied.

“ _The Salk Institute_?” Hanna seemed surprised. “Isn’t it like one in the morning there?”

“They’re on a different coast, Hanna. Not a different continent.”

“Whatever.” She shrugged. “I’m gonna shower and then go out to get some breakfast. You want to come?”

“I can’t. I’ve got to run. I’ve got a couple things in town I’ve got to do.” She grabbed a coffee mug out of the cabinet.

“Okay.” Hanna walked down the hall to the bathroom. “Call me later.”

Emily waited until she heard the bathroom door close and then she grabbed her purse and dug out her medicine. She filled up a glass with tap water and downed her pills.

“Hey,” A voice from behind her startled her. Caleb walked into the kitchen. He was in his boxers and his hair was a mess.

“Caleb, hi.” She discreetly closed her purse. “I didn’t hear you come in last night.”

“Yeah, it was a late night.” Caleb scratched his head. “I was working on the campaign until a little after midnight, then I went by _The Radley_ to review the security footage.”

“And?” Emily asked eagerly.

Caleb looked at the ground before he responded.

“It matches Hanna’s story. Aria left around 2:35,” he sighed. “I corrupted the original footage, but I’ve got to figure out what to do about the backup drive.”

She had been expecting it, but it still felt like a blow had been delivered to her stomach. Emily stared at her coffee. She knew there had to be a logical explanation.

Caleb walked over to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee and then walked to the refrigerator.

“It’s probably nothing.” He rooted around the fridge for the milk. “We all know Aria couldn’t have hurt Charlotte. She doesn’t have it in her.”

Unless she was threatened. If Aria had left the hotel that night and had a run-in with Charlotte it was entirely possible that Aria could have thrown a punch or two defend herself. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Emily remembered how devastated Aria had been after she accidentally killed someone in self-defense back in high school. Emily had personally helped her through it, because she’d been through the same thing. Taking someone’s life, even in self-defense, was something you never got over. It haunted you. You had to learn to live with those demons.

She glanced at the scar on Caleb’s stomach from when he’d been shot trying to protect her from the man she’d eventually killed, the man who had killed her girlfriend. She cringed thinking that Caleb could be dragged back down the rabbit-hole with them.

She thought about the threat they had received last night and shuddered.

“You holding up okay?” Caleb asked.

“Well, the bully who used to torment us was murdered and everyone in this town knows we’d have every reason to want her dead. I’m just great,” she replied sarcastically.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Caleb shook his head. “Hanna told me what happened yesterday.”

Emily almost choked on her coffee.

“She _told_ you?”

“Yeah…” Caleb looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “I didn’t think it was that big of a secret. It’s not like it’s surprising that Ali latched on to you. Doesn’t she always turn to you when she’s hurting?”

Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Hanna hadn’t told him about the text, at least not yet.

“Right.” Emily nodded. “Yeah.”

“It’s a lot to take on.” Caleb drank a sip of his coffee. “And with your dad and everything…you’ve already been through so much. I mean, I know that she’s having a hard time dealing, but I also know that all of this has to be taking its toll on you, too.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“You sure about that?” He lifted an eyebrow and shot her a look that clearly said he didn’t believe her.

“God, Caleb, you’re worse than my mother,” she said flippantly. “How about you spend less time worrying about me and more time worrying about your fiancée’s wedding plans?”

Caleb and Emily both smiled at the word fiancée. It had been two months since Caleb proposed to Hanna. After years of dating, breaking up, and then making up, he’d popped the question when they were on a trip in Italy. In true Hanna fashion, the first thing she’d asked when Caleb proposed was, “Can I call people?”

The smile on Caleb’s face slowly faded and it turned into a look of concern.

“I’m less worried about the wedding right now and more worried about what it is that has all of you so rattled…and I know it’s not about Aria leaving the hotel the night Charlotte died. None of you really think she could have hurt Charlotte. Something else is going on.”

He had always been so stubborn when it came to getting answers.

“Hanna won’t tell me what you four are hiding, but I’m hoping that you might.” His expression softened. He looked like an anxious puppy when he was worried. “So, what’s going on?”

“Why do you think we’re hiding something?” Answering a question with a question is a strategy she’d learned from Spencer.

“It’s not just a coincidence that both of you were having nightmares last night.”

That threw her.

“How did you…”

“You were muttering and crying in your sleep when I got here,” he explained. “And Hanna was flinging around the bed all night. She kicks a lot when she’s having bad dreams.” He glanced at a fresh bruise on his leg. “And Spencer did everything she could to avoid me at the campaign call center. You guys haven’t even been back here a week and you’re already keeping secrets.”

“It’s not like that,” Emily said quietly. “I think we’re all just a little antsy because we’ve got people hounding us about Charlotte’s murder.”

Not entirely a lie. She was getting better at telling the truth without _actually_ telling the truth.

“No one in this town can seriously think that you all had anything to do with what happened to her.”

“The Rosewood Police Department says otherwise.”

“Screw them.” He shrugged and put his coffee cup down. His gaze suddenly grew distant. He furrowed his brow in thought. “Look, I love Hanna. And you and Spencer and Aria are family to us. I don’t want to stand by and watch this destroy you all over again. So, if I can do anything to help you know I will. But you guys have to start being completely honest with me. Talk to me, Emily.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I swear. Just concentrate on the wedding, Mr. Rivers.” Emily smiled.

“To be perfectly honest, I’d rather concentrate on the murder,” he said. “I’ve seen so many flower arrangements I’m starting to lose my mind. I’m so sick of peonies and roses that I’m ready to take a bag of salt and a weed eater to every garden I see.”

They both laughed. Caleb’s interrogation ended there. Emily had successfully changed the subject from secrets to wedding plans. Talking to Caleb about wedding plans was a lot different than talking to Hanna about them. Hanna was all about the glamor and glitz. Caleb preferred talking about the absurdity of how much planning actually went into a wedding. The only thing he liked about it was cake-tasting.

When Emily finished her coffee she grabbed her purse. She called to get an Uber, but Caleb told her not to bother with the car service because he was on his way back to the Hastings’ house for more campaign work. He offered to drop her off on the way. He drove her home and she had a late breakfast with her mother, then she took a shower and went to her appointment.

The nurse went over the importance of why she shouldn’t miss appointments and then asked all the standard questions about how she was feeling before she took her vital signs.

“Hmm, your blood pressure is on the high side,” the nurse muttered in concern.

The news barely fazed Emily. She wasn’t surprised.

“Have you been dealing with anything stressful lately?” The nurse asked as she took a second reading.

Her life? Stressful? Emily could have died in hysterics.

_I’m broke, I don’t have a job, and I’m being stalked by a maniac...again._

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” Emily shook her head.

“Have you been consistent in taking your medications?” The nurse sat in front of a computer typing the information into the system.

“Yes.”

“And what about the injections?”

“It’s been a little tough.” Emily squirmed uncomfortably. “I’ve never been really good with needles, but I’ve been giving the injections as prescribed.”

“You’ll get used to it.” The nurse turned to her and smiled.

Just the thought of giving herself shots so often that she would become numb to it made her even more uncomfortable. She didn’t _want_ to get used it. She didn’t want to be sick in the first place.

“So, I saw in your chart that you live in California. What brings you here?” The nurse stood up and walked over to the sink to wash her hands.

“Family,” Emily replied. She looked around the room at all the depressing posters of diseases that could kill you and felt her body tense up. “I’m visiting. But I plan to go back west soon.”

The nurse’s face tightened.

“You travel a lot?” The nurse dried her hands.

“Not really. More-so now than I have in the past. Why?” She asked nervously.

“It’s just that travel is hard on the body,” she said. “Until we know more about how your heart is going to respond to this treatment you might want to consider staying in one place.”

There was a knock on the door and a young man with a stethoscope walked in. He introduced himself to Emily and then did her exam. He explained that he was ordering a few tests to see if her medications were working properly. It wasn’t anything she was unfamiliar with.

The nurse drew Emily’s blood and then sent her to the diagnostic center to get her heart work-up. She had an EKG, which always made her feel like a science experiment because of all the wires she was hooked up to. It was painless, but annoying. She didn’t complain because she knew it was necessary. Once she was finished she had a Cardiac Echo, which was basically just an ultrasound that could measure the valves and chambers of her heart. The nurse said the doctor had to look over the results and would call her in two to three days.

She couldn’t wait to get out of the building. She had been to at least a dozen different medical facilities and they were all the same. The halls smelled like bleach, the overhead lights buzzed with electricity, and the rooms were freezing.

It had been six months since she’d sat down in one of those freezing cold rooms across from her cardiologist and learned that her heart wasn’t functioning properly. It had come as a shock to her, because she didn’t feel that bad. She’d been fatigued, but she had chalked that up to working two jobs so she could support herself. Then the dizziness had started, but again she just thought she wasn’t getting enough sleep.

It wasn’t until she’d collapsed at work that she realized it was something more. Initially the doctor thought it was just an arrhythmia, but after she’d had a bunch of diagnostics done they discovered that the arrhythmia was just an underlying symptom of the real problem. Emily had been a slave to the medical field ever since. She’d been bounced around from specialist to specialist and had heard every treatment plan that existed.

When she got outside she breathed in the fresh non-medical air and almost immediately relaxed. She felt the warmth of the sun upon her face. She was so lost in thought she didn’t see him coming. He wasn’t paying attention either. They almost ran into one another.

“Emily?”

“Ezra!” Emily exclaimed in surprise. _Crap._

He looked just as startled to see her as she was to see him. She apprehensively tugged on her long sleeves, like he was going to be able to see where she’d had her blood drawn, even though her arms were covered.

He looked a little rough around the edges today. There were bags under his eyes. His hair was dirty and it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days.

“Hey.” His voice sounded distant. “What are you doing here?”

Fortunately, Emily had come up with a story for this very scenario.

“Dropping off some paperwork. I’m thinking about volunteering here while I’m in town.”

“Ah.” He nodded. He seemed lost in thought. “Well, I hope it works out.”

“Hey, have you talked to Aria?” Emily asked.

Ezra’s eyes widened and his jaw tensed. She saw him swallow a knot in his throat.

“Uh…no.” He shook his head. “I haven’t seen her since the hearing.” He glanced away. “It’s really good to see you, Emily, but I’ve got to go. I’m meeting someone and I’m running late.”

He quickly said goodbye and then they went their separate ways. Before Emily turned the corner she looked back at where Ezra Fitz had been standing a few seconds ago. His behavior hadn’t fooled her in the least. He was lying. The question was: why?


	6. High School Never Ends

Aria called Emily shortly after Emily’s run in with Ezra. Emily had just pulled in her driveway when her phone rang. When she answered, Aria was already talking. She rambled about how she had forgotten to take her phone off “Airplane” mode when her plane landed in Boston. She had just gotten her messages. She was completely flustered and could barely talk without stumbling over her words. Emily couldn’t understand a word she was saying. She sounded like she was having a panic attack. Emily tried to talk her down from it.

“Aria, hit the ‘off’ switch. You’re gonna blow a circuit. Just breathe.”

“Oh, this is nothing. This is just level two. I haven’t even gotten to level three yet!” She exclaimed. Emily was very familiar with Aria’s self-proclaimed levels of her freak-outs. She wasn’t surprised Aria was threatening to go to level three. “This is bad, Em! I swear I had no idea that anything like this was going to happen. I never would have left Rosewood if I thought for one second…” She started hyperventilating.

“Okay, okay. Calm down. Try your yoga visualization techniques.”

“All I’m visualizing is me in an orange jumpsuit!” she cried. “I look guilty as hell right now.”

“But you’re not. We know you’re not.” Emily still didn’t know what Aria had done when she left the hotel, but she needed Aria to know that her friends were not going to turn on her.

“That doesn’t matter!” She was shrieking now. Emily had to pull her phone away from her ear because Aria was talking so loud. “I thought this was over. How is this not over? How are we still stuck in this nightmare? It’s been seven years and we’re still riding this friggin A-train. We’re never going to get away from this are we? This is insane. Oh, my God. I think I’m gonna pass out.” She was talking so fast she was forgetting to breathe.

“Stop pacing and sit down.” Emily instructed.

There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

“How did you know I was pacing?” Aria’s voice was a little bit calmer.

“Because I know you.” Emily shrugged. “And I didn’t hear you uncork a bottle of wine, so I figured you were burning a hole through your carpet.”

“It’s a Norwegian throw-rug,” Aria said meekly.

Emily laughed.

“This is all my fault.” Aria sighed. “Whoever this is must have been keeping tabs on me. When I left town I declared open season on all of us.”

“Look, we don’t know anything yet. We’re going to figure it all out…together.”

“How are you so calm right now?” Aria asked.

“I wasn’t last night. Believe me. I dumped an entire plate of grilled chicken salad all over the floor.” Emily tried to make Aria feel better. “I had all night and this morning to process it.”

“Well, can you talk me through a fast-track of that process? Because I’ve got this work dinner I’ve got to go to tonight for this huge book deal. It’s the whole reason I had to come back to Boston. And the last thing I need to do right now is have a nervous breakdown in front of my boss.” Her voice sounded muffled.

“Stop chewing your fingernails.” Emily could hear her teeth clicking together.

“Okay, you’ve got to stop doing that. It’s freaky.” The clicking noise stopped. Aria let out a quiet whimper. “My boss is calling me. What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to take the call, you’re going to work your charm like you always do, and you’re going to take charge…because you’re Aria Montgomery, and you got this.”

“Thanks, Em.” Aria took a relaxing breath. “Look, I will catch the first available flight back to Rosewood tomorrow. I promise.”

“We’ll talk then,” Emily said.

Aria took her work call and Emily hung up. She glanced at her phone and saw that she had a text from Ali. She had sent a group message to all the girls asking if they wanted to come to dinner at her house tomorrow night. No one had replied yet. With everything going on with Aria, Emily wasn’t sure what the other girls wanted to do.

She stared at the phone. She wanted to say yes, but she knew she needed to talk to Hanna and Spencer first. She quickly texted them to update them about Aria and suggested that they meet at Spencer’s barn as soon as they were available to talk strategy. Hanna was working on a dress fitting for a client that she expected to last until 4. That actually worked out perfectly because Spencer’s election meeting was getting out at 3:30. Emily had a few hours to kill before she met up with her friends.

She searched the front seat of the car to make sure she hadn’t left any paperwork about her visit to the doctor. Once she was satisfied she wasn’t leaving anything incriminating behind she locked the doors and went inside her house. Pam was sitting on the couch with her feet up. She had a glass of wine in her hand and she was watching an older movie that Emily recognized.

“This was one of dad’s favorites.” Emily walked up behind her. She brushed her fingers against the back of the couch.

“You want to join?” Pam turned around and smiled at her.

Emily felt bad for shutting her mom out. She wanted to spend time with her, so she took Pam up on her offer. Pam grabbed some snacks from the kitchen and they sat down and cuddled up to watch the movie. They spent the next two hours laughing, quoting their favorite movie lines, and talking about Wayne. Seeing her mom smile was a comfort to her.

“It’s so good to have you home.” Pam took Emily’s hand. “I’ve missed having you here.”

Emily squeezed her mother’s hand and smiled at her. She pat Emily’s arm and then stood up and took the trays of leftover snacks into the kitchen. Emily turned the TV off and then glanced at the family portrait that was hanging on the wall above the TV. It had been taken shortly after Emily’s eighth birthday. She remembered that day with a clarity that made it feel like it was yesterday. She’d just found out that her dad was being deployed overseas and she’d been in no mood to take a family picture. Her dad had done the impossible that day: he’d made her laugh. Right before the photographer had snapped the photo her dad had turned to her and said,

 _“Emmy, I bet you don’t know how many tickles it makes to take a squid laugh.”_ He’d grabbed her and started tickling her. “ _Tenticles!_ ”

It had been so stupid, but she couldn’t help but roar in laughter. She had laughed so hard she cried. She looked at the picture again and sighed.

“How did everything go so wrong?” she asked quietly.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up. Hanna and Spencer were both on their way to Spencer’s place. Emily thanked her mother for the snacks and movie and then went to meet her friends. They almost bowled her over with questions as soon as she arrived. Emily explained that Aria had a book signing she couldn’t miss, but that she was going to come back to Rosewood as soon as she could get away.

“Did you ask her about why she left the hotel?” Hanna asked.

“I didn’t get a chance.” Emily shook her head.

“Why not?” Spencer questioned.

“She was freaking out. It wasn’t a good time to stick a spotlight on her and grill her.” Emily told them about how panicked Aria had been about the text from their new tormentor. “I was so busy trying to keep her from having a mental breakdown that I didn’t tell her we knew about her leaving the hotel…or about the security footage.”

“I thought Caleb took care of the security footage.” Spencer looked at Hanna.

“Just the original files. _The Radley_ has a backup drive with all of the footage,” Hanna said.

“So? Your mom owns the place. Can’t you just grab her keys and get the drive?” Spencer asked.

“No! I’m not dragging my mom into this. This is not her problem. We’re not in high school anymore.”

“Sure feels like we are,” Emily muttered. All this sneaking around and conspiracy to cover things up was like a giant bitch-slap of _de ja vu._ Even watching Spencer and Hanna argue was giving Emily flashbacks to their teen years.

“God, where could she possibly have gone that she couldn’t tell us about it?” Spencer shook her head.

“Maybe she moonlights as a stripper,” Hanna said sarcastically.

Emily snorted out a laugh and Hanna grinned with pride. She loved making her friends laugh.

“You are like the queen of not helping.” Spencer shot Hanna an annoyed glance.

“What? I’m just saying…people usually only sneak out in the middle of the night for two things: food and sex.”

“That’s actually a good point.” Spencer sounded impressed. “Maybe she went to meet up with Ezra.”

Emily tensed up at the mention of Ezra. He had been acting so squirrelly earlier. But if she mentioned it to Hanna and Spencer they would have a million questions. They would want to know where he was going and what he was doing. She couldn’t tell them about Ezra without telling them where she’d seen him.

“Why would she lie to us about going to see Ezra?” Emily asked.

“I don’t know.” Spencer shoved her face into her palms. “This is so frustrating.” She pulled back and then ran her fingers through her hair and let out a grunt of annoyance. Her face tightened and she got lost in thought for a few seconds. “You’re sure she didn’t say anything about leaving that night?” Spencer faced Emily.

“It was a two minute conversation, Spence,” Emily said. “I’m sure she’ll explain everything when she gets back.”

“And in the meantime we just go about our business and pretend everything is normal?” Spencer huffed.

“Yes,” Emily and Hanna said in unison.

“It’s what we do best.” Hanna shrugged.

“We just have to fake it for a few more days.” Emily added. Though in her case she had a lot more to fake.

“Okay.” Spencer nodded. “What are we going to do about this dinner at Ali’s tomorrow?”

“Well, we should go, right?” Hanna asked. “If we don’t go she’s going to think something is up.”

“Something _is_ up.” Spencer reminded them. “How are we supposed to lie our way through an entire night with Ali?”

“I don’t think she’s going to be cross-examining us for the prosecution. She just needs us to be there for her,” Emily said.

Hanna and Spencer glanced at one another and then looked at Emily and nodded in agreement. Somehow they had lost sight of the fact that Ali really did need them. They had just been through so much in high school that it was easy to fall back into the same patterns. It was hard not to revert to being teenagers when they were right back to jumping every time their phones went off. They spent the next few hours talking about the ups and downs they’d had over the past five years and what they wanted for the future.

Just when they were starting to relax, Spencer’s phone chirped from inside her pocket. A few seconds later Emily’s went off, too. Their eyes widened. Emily looked at her phone.

“Is it…” Spencer leaned over Emily’s phone.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “It’s Ali.”

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief and gathered the courage to pull her phone out.

“It’s just a news alert about the election.” Spencer checked her phone.

Emily answered her phone.

“Hey, Ali. Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Her voice sounded shaky. “I’m just going a little stir-crazy. I’m sitting here in my house and I can’t stop thinking about Charlotte and I…” she sighed. “I just don’t want to be alone. Can you come over?”

“Sure. Of course. I’ll be right there.”

Emily said her goodbyes to Hanna and Spencer and then walked over to Ali’s house. She found Ali sitting out on her front porch. She was staring down into a cup of what looked like hot tea. Ali heard her approaching and looked up.

“That was fast,” Ali said.

“I was at Spencer’s.” Emily sat down next to her.

Ali nodded mindlessly.

“Is she still mad at me for dragging her back here?”

“No one is mad at you, Ali.” Emily put a comforting hand on her arm.

“You’re the only one answering my calls.” Ali looked over at her.

“Well, Hanna is busy planning a wedding. And Spencer and Aria are swamped at work. It has nothing to do with you,” Emily assured her. “There’s just…” She glanced towards her phone, “…a lot going on right now. But we all love you and we’re here for you. After everything we’ve been through you have to know that.”

Ali looked into Emily’s eyes. She could see the sincerity in her expression. Emily had always looked at her like she was worthy of being loved. She saw the best in people, and Ali loved that about her.

“I do,” Ali said. “Sometimes I just forget.”

Ali put her hand on top of Emily’s hand. After a second she pulled away and stood up. She smiled weakly and looked down at Emily.

“Why don’t you come in? I’ll make you some tea.” Ali walked towards the door.

Emily followed her into the house. Ali stopped to water a small violet in a pot by the front door.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” She put the watering can down. “I bought it for Charlotte’s homecoming.” She smiled at the thought of her sister. “I felt like a kid on Christmas that day. When that car pulled in the driveway I didn’t think I could have been any happier.” She walked into the kitchen.

Alison poured her a cup of tea and came back into the living room. They sat down on the couch.

“So, tell me about California.”

“Uh, California is good.” Emily stared at her tea. “It’s beautiful. I like waking up every morning and smelling the ocean.”

“Are you a surfer girl now?” Ali teased her.

Emily nodded and laughed.

“It’s kind of a requirement if you want to live in the state.” She joked. It felt good to laugh…genuinely laugh. “What about you? How are the hallowed halls of Rosewood High?”

“It’s a lot more paperwork than I was led to believe.” Ali took a sip of her tea. “I have more homework now as a teacher than I ever did as a student.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I am shaping the minds of tomorrow’s youth.” She sounded intimidated. “God help them.”

Emily chuckled.

“They’re lucky to have you,” Emily took a sip of her tea and then put the cup down. Her phone went off and she reached for it, accidentally knocking it off the table. Ali leaned down to pick it up and hand it to her. She looked at the screen.

“Hollis Medical Center?” Alison saw the call. Concern washed across her face.

Emily all but snatched the phone from her. She quickly sent the call to voicemail.

“Is everything okay?” Ali reached over and touched her arm.

Emily almost jumped out of her skin.

 _Lie!_ Her brain screamed at her.

“Yeah.” Emily heard her voice crack, a tell-tale sign that she wasn’t telling the truth. She could have smacked herself for being so twitchy. She cleared her throat, hoping that Ali hadn’t heard her nervous tone.

 _Lie better…_ Her inner voice was annoyed with her.

She forced herself to look at Ali with a smile on her face. Internally she was panicking, but externally she put on a calm façade.

“I…” _Think!_ “I…have a contact there who is interested in some of the research that _The Salk Institute_ is doing.”

It was pretty good for coming up with something on the fly. It bothered her how easily it had been for her to drum up the excuse.

Ali looked at her for a second and then relaxed.

“You’re really doing a lot of good out there. I’m proud of you, Em.”

That just made Emily feel worse. She wasn’t helping anyone. She could barely help herself. She smiled nervously. She hated lying to Ali.

“Hey, did you get my text about dinner tomorrow?” Ali asked.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “I’ll be here.”

“And the others?”

“Them too.”

“Elliott is making Chicken Parmesan.” Ali put her tea down.

Emily tried not to tense up at the mention of Elliott, but Ali noticed her body language. She shifted on the couch so that she was facing Emily. She curled her legs up underneath her.

“I owe you an explanation about Elliott.” Ali sighed.

“You don’t owe me anything.” Emily shook her head.

It had come out cool and suave, but she was a ball of nerves on the inside. Her brain was cursing at her and telling her to shut up and let Alison explain.

“Look, he’s not…” Ali squirmed uncomfortably. She struggled to find her words. Emily let her take her time. “…we’re just…” She looked away. “It’s…complicated. When I first met him it was strictly professional. He was the first person who understood Charlotte…and what it meant to me for her to get a second chance. Elliott and I spent a lot of time together and somewhere along the line we stopped being professional. We just worked really well with each other, because we shared the same passion. Then when there was talks about Charlotte getting released, things between us…I don’t know…”

Emily was starting to regret wanting to know about this. It was harder for her to hear than she thought it would be.

“Ali, I’m not here to be your couple’s counselor.” She tried not to get emotional. “I can’t…”

“No, I know. I’m not trying to pull you into my mess. I am just trying to understand.” Her voice was shaking.

“Understand what?” Emily picked up on a tone in her voice she’d never really heard before.

“How this happened.” She glanced at the ceiling and Emily could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Things are just so screwed up. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew who I was, but now I’m not so sure. Everything just feels so different now.”

“Why? What changed?”

Ali’s lips twitched and her eyes filled with tears. Behind the tears there was a look of pain.

“Ali, what happened?” Emily instinctively reached for Ali’s hand.

“Do you still believe in happy endings?” Ali glanced at her.

“What?” The question surprised her. “I don’t know. I guess.”

Emily didn’t know what to believe anymore. It seemed like her life just kept throwing punches at her. She was just too stubborn to stay down after she took a beating.

“Well, I might be the reason my sister didn’t get hers.” Ali sighed. “It’s my fault she was in that bell tower the night she died.” She cried. “She was supposed to be safe in my care, but I let her down.”

“You can’t think like that.” Emily gently rubbed her arm.

“No, you don’t understand, Em.” Ali took a breath to try and calm her nerves. “She didn’t just sneak away when I wasn’t looking. She ran away…and I let her go.” She curled her fingers tightly into her palms and nervously squeezed her hands together. “Somehow she found out how close I’d gotten with Elliott and she got upset. She felt betrayed. I tried to tell her that it wasn’t like that anymore…that all I’ve ever cared about was getting her back. But she didn’t believe me. We got into an argument and she stormed out. And I was just _so_ angry at her.” She clenched her jaw. “After everything I did for her, for her to think that I would ever put someone else before her…” She shook her head. “I was angry, and I didn’t go after her. And now she’s dead.”

“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen to her.” Emily tried to comfort her.

“I knew she was upset. And I knew I was the cause of that.” Ali took a shaky breath. “You know when I first heard about her death I thought she’d…” She choked back her tears, “…I thought she jumped. I thought it was my fault. I thought ‘if I could do that to my own sister…hurt her so much she’d want to take her own life then what kind of monster am I?’” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Charlotte may not have jumped, but she never would have been out there if I hadn’t screwed up.”

Emily reached forward and pulled her in for a hug. When she pulled back she put her palms against Alison’s cheeks.

“Listen to me. This is not your fault. Okay?” Emily brushed away Alison’s tears with her thumb. Alison glanced down. “Ali, look at me.” She peered into Emily’s eyes. “I know it hurts, and I know you miss her. But don’t you dare for one second think that you had anything to do with what happened to her, because you didn’t. It’s _not_ your fault. Do you understand?”

Ali nodded.

“Charlotte knew you loved her.” She knew this because when Alison DiLaurentis loved someone, you felt it in your soul. Emily gently took her hands away from Ali’s face. “You made her life better in every possible way.” She saw Ali starting to relax. “You gave her a second chance…a family. Don’t forget that.”

Ali leaned against the back of the couch. She laid her head against the cushion and looked up at Emily.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Emily.” Ali took her hand.

She looked into Emily’s soft eyes and lifted her head. She brushed a strand of Emily’s hair away from her face and before Emily knew what was happening, Ali’s lips were on hers. Emily brought her hand up to Ali’s jaw. Her brain was telling her to stop, but her heart was content. Everything inside of her wanted this, but she knew that Ali was hurting. It took all the strength she had to pull away from her.

“Ali, you’re really vulnerable right now,” Emily said softly.

Ali glanced down at the ground and let out a sigh. The expression on her face let Emily know she’d made the right call. Ali turned slightly, wordlessly lying back against the back of the sofa again. She smiled weakly and then put her hand on top of Emily’s and gently slid her fingers in between Emily’s fingers. Emily leaned back against the couch.

 _What are you doing?_ She asked herself.

She knew that getting close to Ali was a mistake. Someone was going to get hurt. It’s the way it always worked with them. In high school Ali had broken her heart more than once, but that’s not what she was worried about. She could take the pain. What she couldn’t stand to think about was Ali getting hurt. Emily was afraid she would ruin her.

 _Coming back was a mistake._ A giant colossal…beautiful mistake.


	7. On The Rocks

After she left Ali’s house Emily took a walk to sort things out. She gazed at the stars. She’d forgotten how peaceful her town was at night. The rest of the world seemed to fade away. She breathed in the fresh evening air and listened to the sound of the crickets chirping. It was a relaxing change of pace. For a few quiet minutes she was able to forget about the fact that she was wrapped up in Alison’s world again. It was hard for Emily to keep her feelings in check when Ali reached out to her like this. It’s not like it was the first time. It was a pattern with the two of them. Ali had been through so much turmoil in her life, and the person she’d always leaned on was Emily. It was impossible for Emily to say no to her. Ali knew Emily would always be there for her, so when bad things happened she did everything she could to keep Emily close.

When they were younger Emily had never been able to tell how much of Ali’s love was real and how much of it was just Ali trying to keep her close. There had been times that she felt like Ali was sincere and really did love her, and there were times that she had seen her pull away the moment things between them got too real. Their intimate moments were all very crystal clear to Emily. She had decided her feelings about Ali a long time ago, but Ali couldn’t seem to make a decision and stick to it.

And even if Alison had finally made up her mind, Emily had so much going on in her life that they’d probably be doomed before they got started. Their timing always seemed to suck.

Her phone beeped. It was text from Hanna checking in. Emily sent her a quick text back to let her know everything was okay. She glanced at the missed call from Hollis Medical Center and saw she had a message. All of the worst possible scenarios ran through her head, but it was just an automated call from the pharmacy letting her know she had a prescription ready. She’d been so anxious to get out of the doctor’s office she’d forgotten to stop by the pharmacy.

She hung up her phone and looked up just in time to see a tuft of blonde hair round the corner. The gait was unmistakable. Ever since Sara Harvey had been electrocuted she walked like she was made of glass. Emily crossed the street and peered around the corner and saw a car pull up next to her. The passenger door was pushed open from the inside. Sara looked around before she climbed in the car. Emily tried to see who was driving, but the windows were tinted. The car came around the corner and she ducked behind a parked car as they drove by her. She tried to snap a picture of the car with her phone, but it was gone before she got the chance.

She was kicking herself for not being quick enough with her camera the next day when she was telling Hanna and Spencer about it on the walk over to Alison’s house.

“Well, what did it look like?” Hanna asked.

“I don’t know. It was dark.” Emily frowned.

“And you’re sure it was Sara Harvey?” Spencer asked.

“I had nightmares about her for months. I’m sure.” Emily nodded.

“I don’t understand why she’s even still in town,” Spencer said.

“To ruin our lives,” Hanna said flippantly. “She’s probably got a bunch of evil minions doing her bidding.”

“Yeah, but why would she cared who killed Charlotte? She hated her. She crucified her on the witness stand.” Spencer pointed out.

“To save her own skin. She wasn’t kept in that dollhouse. She was out in the world… _helping_ Charlotte torture us. I’m telling you right now, that bitch wasn’t stockholmed.” Emily countered.

“Have either of you gotten anymore messages from the new Uber-bitch?” Hanna asked.

Spencer and Emily shook their heads.

“What about Aria?” Spencer looked at Emily.

Emily had spoken with Aria around noon. She hadn’t been able to make it out of Boston. A bunch of flights were grounded due to storms. Aria had been freaked out that it might look like she was trying to avoid coming back. Emily told her not to worry about it. Truth be told, Spencer, Hanna, and Emily were worried enough _for_ her. They didn’t think she was guilty of murder, but she was definitely hiding something. And they all knew that secrets attracted their stalker like a moth to a flame.

“She’s hoping she’ll be able to get a red eye in the morning,” Emily explained.

“So if Ali asks…” Spencer lowered her voice as they approached Ali’s house.

“We tell her she’s working. It’s not a lie.” Emily suggested.

“Damn, Em, you’ve really learned how to stretch the truth these days. Did they teach you that in Cali?” Hanna questioned.

“More from the two years here in Rosewood where we lied more than we breathed,” Emily retorted.

Alison’s front door opened and Elliott greeted them with a smile. Alison walked up next to him, but she wasn’t smiling. Her mood seemed completely different than what Emily had seen of her last night. She greeted them pleasantly, but there was a subtle edge in her undertone. The first thing she noticed was Aria’s absence.

“Looks like we’re one short.” Ali glanced at her friends.

She had been drinking. She smelled like a distillery. It’s like she’d skipped a few stages of grief and declared that being drunk was now the final stage.

“Aria wanted to be here, but she got stuck at work,” Spencer said.

Ali’s eyes narrowed and she looked at them skeptically. Everyone walked inside the house. Elliott picked up a tray of glasses filled with cucumber water and passed them out to the girls. They had really gone all out.

They walked into the dining room. Elliott and the other girls were a few paces in front of Ali and Emily. They glanced at one another, and for a second Emily saw her face soften, but then she turned away.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked quietly.

“I’m fine.” Ali shrugged. But the expression in her eyes said otherwise.

“Wow.” Spencer’s eyes widened when she saw the spread they had out for dinner. It was enough food to feed a small army. “This looks great.” She was trying to be polite, but Emily could hear the ‘holy crap, this is _Stepford Wives_ crazy’ undertone in her voice.

“We clearly went overboard.” Elliott smiled. “We were expecting a few more people…”

“Where’s Caleb?” Ali turned towards Hanna.

“He wanted to be here, but he barely gets any sleep between the campaign and wedding stuff. Spencer and I are running him ragged. He needed some rest,” Hanna said.

Ali had a look on her face like she didn’t believe her, but she didn’t press her on it.

“How is the wedding planning going?” Ali asked.

“Uh, it’s good.” Hanna glanced at the selection of wines that were in front of them.

Emily felt the need to have a glass…or seven. She hadn’t been expecting Alison to be questioning their every move. Getting through the night sober was going to be tough.

“What about you, Spence? Anyone special in your life right now?” Ali turned to Spencer.

“I’m pretty much married to my work.” Her jaw tightened. Emily saw something in her eyes that looked like sadness. Did she miss Toby as much as Toby missed her?

“I hear your mother’s campaign is going well.” Ali took a sip of her water.

“We’re ahead in the polls.” Spencer nodded.

“That’s great to hear.” Ali had a smile on her face, but she sounded pissed. “You Hastings women always seem to get the votes you need.” She lifted her eyebrows. “Of course, Russian hackers are a little more advanced than a high schooler stuffing the ballot box.”

Emily almost choked on her fancy vegetable water.

“Excuse me?” Spencer automatically flared up in anger.

The room was filled with tension, but then Ali laughed.

“I’m joking.” She rolled her eyes. “Lighten up.” She put her water down on the table. “Make yourselves at home.” Ali motioned to the entrees and the wine. “Elliott, would you help me in the kitchen for a moment?”

“Sure.” He nodded and put his hand on Ali’s shoulder. It made Emily want to punch him.

They waited until Elliott and Alison went into the kitchen. Hanna faced her friends and kept her voice as quiet as possible,

“Okay, is it just me or…”

“No. She’s acting weird.” Emily stared towards the kitchen in concern.

“Ya think?” Spencer asked sarcastically. “She practically used me as a scratching post for her claws.”

“Maybe she’s moved on to the anger phase of grief.” Hanna shrugged. “Plus she’s drunk.”

“This goes way beyond her being drunk.” Emily shook her head.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Spencer rubbed her brow in thought. Emily could see the tiny vein in Spencer’s forehead pulsing. Spencer looked at her. “Did something happen last night?”

“What?” Emily was caught off-guard. If she had been any more obvious she’d be wearing a huge sign that said _she tried to stick her tongue down my throat_.

“With Ali.” Spencer frowned. “Did she say anything or…I don’t know…turn into Satan at midnight?”

Emily flashed back to what a wreck Alison had been over her guilt. Ali’s first instinct had been to seek comfort from her…because she trusted her. Emily couldn’t betray that trust. What Ali had told her about Charlotte…she’d told her in confidence. And as far as their kiss went, she couldn’t exactly tell her friends about it because she was still trying to figure out what it meant herself. She thought she knew what Ali was thinking when she kissed her, but now she wasn’t so sure.

“She was upset,” Emily said. “But we talked and she seemed to be processing things a little better.”

“Well, maybe she needs to talk some more.” Hanna put her water down and went for the wine. “If we’re going to sit through this massacre I’m going to need a lot more than zucchini seltzer.”

“It’s cucumber.” Emily laughed.

“Whatever.” Hanna picked up a bottle and read the label. “We need to bust into this stuff pronto.” She looked around for something to pop the cork. “Where is the damn wine opener? There are four bottles of wine and no wine openers.” She huffed and roughly sat the bottle back down on the table. “This is a disaster.”

“Yes, Hanna, we’re being held hostage in a town surrounded by death, we’re being stalked by a brand new psycho, we’ve got one friend on the hook for God knows what, and another who has completely lost her mind.” Spencer motioned towards the kitchen. “But not having a wine opener is a disaster.”

“You’re right.” Hanna took a beat and looked at the unopened bottles of wine. “We don’t have nearly enough wine.”

The room was silent for a few seconds and then all three of them started to laugh.

“Thanks for keeping things in perspective.” Emily smiled at Hanna.

A few minutes later Alison and Elliott brought in the main course…and much to the girls’ delight, a wine opener. The alcohol went faster than the food did. They thought the wine would help.

It didn’t.

The only normal thing about their dinner was the food. Alison started things off with a toast to Charlotte and a cryptic remark about how she hoped the police would bring justice to whoever killed Charlotte…and to anyone who was protecting that person. Elliott seemed to share that sentiment. The girls awkwardly clinked their glasses and tried not to look conspicuous.

Ali dived into safer topics for a while, asking them about what they’d been up to the past five years. She listened intently as they talked about their lives. Emily watched Ali’s reactions carefully. Occasionally she would look at Elliott and he’d smile at her and put his hand on her arm. She didn’t encourage him, but she didn’t pull away either. On the surface it seemed like a friend comforting another friend, but Emily didn’t like the way Elliott was looking at her.

Hanna was in the middle of talking about wedding venues when Ali started fidgeting uncomfortably in her chair.

“Is everything okay?” Hanna asked.

Ali looked down at her wine glass and traced her finger around the edge. She abruptly looked up and huffed angrily.

“I know Aria left town.”

“Ali!” Elliott exclaimed in surprise. He sounded like someone scolding a dog for bad behavior.

The girls all exchanged nervous glances. The house was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

“I overheard her dad this morning on the phone in _The Brew_. He was talking to someone about how she went back to Boston the night of Charlotte’s funeral.” She glanced at her friends suspiciously.

“She had to go back for work.” Emily immediately came to Aria’s defense.

“I’ve left her a few messages.” Ali swished her wine around in her glass. “She hasn’t returned my calls. Has anyone talked to her?”

“She’s been busy,” Spencer answered.

“That’s not an answer.” Ali scowled.

“Ali,” Elliott interjected softly this time, “maybe now isn’t the best time…”

She turned and glared at him. If looks could have killed, Elliott would have gone up in flames. The child in Emily felt satisfied seeing Ali so pissed at him.

“I’m going to clean up.” Ali stood up and tossed her napkin on the table.

Emily almost laughed. That was a very Pam Fields thing to do: storm out to clean. How had she missed how similar Ali was to her mother?

Elliott watched her disappear and then looked at the girls with an apologetic expression.

“Clearly she’s still hurting.” He sighed. “This may have been too soon for this get-together.” He slowly stood up. “I’m so sorry.”

He got up and walked after her. A few minutes later they heard the back door open and then close.

“Well, that was awkward.” Hanna tipped her glass and downed the last of her wine.

“ _The Last Supper_ had less tension,” Emily muttered.

“Is it just me or did that sound downright accusatory?” Spencer asked. “Does she think we…”

“Maybe not us, but she was throwing some major shade at Aria.” Hanna frowned.

“What do we do? Someone should talk to her, right?” Spencer bit down on her thumbnail nervously.

There was a beat of silence and then Spencer and Hanna looked at Emily.

“What? Why me?” Emily exclaimed.

“It’s what you do. You talk to her!” Hanna shrugged.

“Yeah, about music and vacations and life, not about clearing our friend of murder.” Emily argued.

“Come on, she can’t look into your eyes and be mad at you.” Spencer smiled. “It’s impossible.” She pinched her cheeks in a motherly way.

“Stop that.” Emily grumbled in annoyance.

“You can’t tell me you trust Dr. Doom to help her sort out her angry feelings.” Spencer glanced towards the kitchen. “What’s with him anyway? Is she suddenly his patient now? What, he didn’t get enough of the DiLaurentis family with Charlotte?”

“You have to talk to her. She’ll listen to you.” Hanna begged.

“I don’t think she’s in a mood to listen to anyone right now.” Emily knew Alison, and she could tell that no matter what she said to her…Alison wasn’t going to hear it.

“She will listen to you.” Spencer tilted her head and looked at Emily out of the corner of her eyes, as if Emily had some magical power over Alison DiLaurentis. “Everyone listens to you, Em.” She smiled. “Especially when you do that thing with those sad eyes and that kicked puppy face.”

“I do not…”

“No, I think we need the ‘disappointed mom’ face.” Hanna interrupted Emily before she could argue.

Emily wanted to point out the irony of them saying that people listened to her while actively interrupting her, but instead she just glared at them.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Hanna nodded.

“I hate you both. You know that, right?” Emily rolled her eyes. She stood up and looked into the kitchen.

“Good luck and Godspeed.” Spencer feigned a salute. “You come back to us from this war, ya hear, darlin’?” She donned a thick southern accent with a grin.

“You’re ridiculous.” Emily laughed.

Emily walked into the kitchen. Elliott and Alison weren’t there, so she walked through the room and to the back door. She glanced out the window and saw them standing on the back porch. They were arguing…or rather, Alison was arguing with herself. Elliott was just standing there with his arms folded across his chest. He looked very much like a therapist thinking, “And how did that make you _feel_?” After Alison finished talking he nodded and then turned to come back inside. Emily took a few steps back and waited for the door to open. They glanced at one another in passing, but didn’t say anything. Emily caught Alison just as she was getting ready to come inside.

“Can I talk to you?” Emily walked out and closed the door behind her.

“Emily, I’m not in the mood.” She grumbled.

“Yeah, you’ve made that perfectly clear.” Emily stood in front of the door, blocking it. “What the hell was that?”

Ali glanced at her, and for a split second Emily saw past the anger. She was hurt.

“Look, I know you’re upset about Charlotte and you want answers, but after everything we’ve been through…we stick together. _All_ of us. We don’t turn on each other! That’s why we came back. That’s the reason we’re here now.” She glared at her. “Just because you overheard one phone call…”

“This isn’t about a stupid phone call!” Ali interjected angrily. “This is about how you have been lying to me! I mean, did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

Ali had always had a way of knowing their secrets. What exactly did she know? Emily’s body seized up and her knees almost buckled. She managed to stay calm.

“Find out _what?_ ”

Alison pushed her lips out and glared at Emily like she was trying to figure something out.

“Ali, we’re not going to get anywhere unless you talk to me.” Emily’s heart was thumping wildly in her chest.

Ali huffed in irritation and then grabbed her phone from the railing. She tapped on the screen and then handed it to Emily. At first Emily wasn’t sure what she was looking at, but then the grainy photo became crystal clear to her. It was a security photo.

“Want to tell me what this is about?” Ali asked.

Emily’s entire body tensed up.

“I have no idea.” But she had a pretty good idea of what it was. “What is this?”

“Don’t lie, Em. You suck at it.” Ali rolled her eyes.

 _You have no idea…_ Emily scoffed in thought.

Emily paused to think about something. She hadn’t expected this, though she should have. Secrets in Rosewood always had a way of biting them in the ass. And there was always one person at the bottom of their problems. _A_. She looked at the photo again and then looked up at Ali.

“Where did you get this?” Emily asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters!”

Ali turned away in defiance, but Emily grabbed her arm.

“Ali, where did you get this?” She raised her voice.

She expected Ali to pull away, but instead Ali relaxed when she touched her. She let out a sigh and then gently pried Emily’s hand off of her arm. For a brief second when their fingers touched Emily forgot how angry she was. Ali did, too.

Emily looked at the photo again. The resolution was low, but there was no mistaking that it was Aria standing outside in the middle of the night, and the date stamped in the corner was the night that Charlotte was killed. Emily couldn’t tell where the picture had been taken. It looked bad for Aria, but Emily still didn’t believe that the girl who was having panic attacks about getting back to Rosewood was the same person who killed Charlotte. She just had to convince Alison.

“I can’t promise to agree with you, but I’m listening,” Emily said calmly.

She looked at Ali to explain her side of the story. Ali hesitated. Some trust had been lost because the girls had been covering for Aria. Emily understood that. She didn’t flinch when Ali furrowed her brows in anger. She didn’t roll her eyes when Ali pushed her lips out in a pout. And she didn’t get upset when Ali took her sweet time deciding whether or not she was going to talk. Instead, Emily did just what she said she’d do…she listened when Ali started talking.

“This morning after I heard Byron on the phone about Aria, I was upset. So I called Elliott.”

That stung, but Emily tried not to show it.

“We talked. He calmed me down,” she said. “And then he brought up something interesting. He has a friend who owns a bar a couple of blocks from where Charlotte was killed. He was at the funeral, and he saw Aria there. And he recognized her.”

Emily felt a lump forming in her throat.

“Apparently, he saw her the night Charlotte was killed outside talking to someone when he was closing up. He didn’t see who it was, but he saw Aria perfectly clear. At first, he didn’t think anything of it, but when he saw Aria at the funeral he was curious. He checked his outdoor security cameras and found this.”

She took the phone from Emily.

“He talked to Elliott about it. Elliott said initially he dismissed it. After all, he didn’t think that any of my friends would hurt me like that. He didn’t want to upset me, so he didn’t tell me. But when he found out that Aria was gone he started second-guessing himself. We all saw Aria at the hearing. She was still angry with Charlotte…”

“She wasn’t angry.” Emily quickly spoke up. “She was scared.”

They had all been scared. Aria was just honest enough to tell the truth about her feelings.

“Emily, she was there…she was right there at that bar…right down the street from where my sister was killed. You lied to the police! All of you. You told them you were together in Hanna’s suite _all_ night. She left the hotel and you all _knew_!” She cried in frustration. “ _You_ knew. You knew and you just let me believe…”

“Ali, it’s not like that.” Emily tried to calm her down.

“If you’re hiding this, what else are you hiding from me?”

Emily felt her heart skip a beat.

“The others I understand, but you?” The look Ali gave her cut into her soul. “How could you keep this from me? I thought we were done with secrets.” She snapped. “God, I’m so stupid.” She ran her palm over her face and huffed in irritation.

“This is not what it looks like.” Emily hoped against hope it wasn’t what it looked like.

“Really?” Ali asked sharply. “What could she possibly have been doing at three in the morning three blocks from where Charlotte was murdered?”

Emily wanted an answer to that herself. But she’d promised Aria and the others that they would stick this out together.

“The police said that Charlotte’s death was violent.” Ali’s voice trembled. “They used the word _personal_. And I know Charlotte hurt a lot of people, but the only people who could have hated her that much…the people who were hurt most by her are you guys and Sara Harvey. And the police cleared Sara.” She ground her teeth together at the mention of Sara. Emily did, too.

“So, what? You just decided to make up your mind without giving her a chance to explain?” Emily asked.

“I was going to ask her about it tonight, but she’s not exactly here, is she?” Ali’s tone was verging on icy.

“You can’t seriously think that we had anything to do with what happened to Charlotte.”

“Well, it’s not for me to solve,” Ali said in the same bratty tone she had used when they were children and she was trying to get under someone’s skin. “The police will sort it out. Evidence doesn’t lie.”

“You can’t turn this over to the police.” Emily tried not to panic.

She knew what it would mean for Aria…and for Caleb and Hanna if it got back to the police that they tampered with the hotel security footage.

“I need to know what happened to my sister, Emily!” Ali snapped. “Can’t you understand that?”

“I do. I do understand that! But not at the expense of _any_ of us. Ali, we went through hell together. There were times I wasn’t sure we’d survive, but we got through it. And the only reason we got through it…the only reason we’re still alive is because we have each other. We have seen each other at our best and our worst. I know every single one of you better than I know myself, and I know that Aria couldn’t have hurt Charlotte, because despite what your sister put us through...Aria loves you. We all do. I am begging you not to do this. I mean, how many times in the past have we looked guilty for something and we weren’t?”

“Yeah, but no one is pulling strings anymore. No one has in a long time. Charlotte stopped being _A_ the moment she was taken into custody.”

Emily cringed at the mention of _A_.

“This isn’t some high school game…” Ali said.

That pissed Emily off. Being held hostage and tortured was a _game_? She sounded like Charlotte.

“…Aria may have hurt my sister. How can you stand there and deny that? I thought you cared about me.”

“Ali, I have cared about you since the day I met you.” Emily was seething. “But I’m not going to choose between them and you. I’m just…not. You can’t ask me to do that. I have done a lot for you over the years. I stuck up for you when no one else would. And I have forgiven you for a lot of things. But if you go to the police with this I will never forgive you.”

“I get your loyalty to her. Believe me, I do. But I can’t ignore something like this. Even Elliott thinks…”

“Who cares what Elliott thinks?!” Emily yelled.

She felt a twinge of discomfort in her chest and she inhaled a sharp gasp. Fortunately, it passed. She’d had the pain before. It wasn’t anything new. But Ali hadn’t missed seeing the pain register on her face. Ali started to reach out to her, but Emily took a step away from her and glared at her.

“Don’t.” Emily growled out a warning. She was still angry, and she wasn’t going to let anything stop her from finishing this fight. “Elliott may be there for you now, but don’t forget that we were there for you before he came along.”

For the first time since they started arguing, Ali seemed surprised by her reaction. She took a moment to read the emotions behind Emily’s anger, and she realized that there was more than one reason that Emily was upset.

“Em, that’s not what…” Ali’s face softened. “I told you it’s over between us.”

“You’ve told me a lot of things over the years,” Emily sniped.

“We’re just friends,” Ali said.

“Really? Does he know that?” Emily was steaming thinking about how he’d affectionately put his hand on Ali’s at dinner. “You want to talk about _me_ choosing someone over you?” Emily’s eyes were burning with tears of rage. “I spent all of childhood being your second choice.” She sighed. “I’m not going to do it again.”

She turned around and stormed away from Ali.

“Emily, wait.” Ali reached out to grab her arm, but Emily had already slammed the door and was on her way to grab her things. Hanna and Spencer were helping Elliott clear the dining room table. They saw the look on her face and looked at one another. Emily didn’t bother to stop and say anything. She was too focused on getting to the front door.

“We’re leaving?” Hanna asked.

Emily stormed out.

“I think that’s a yes.” Spencer nodded. She faced Elliott and let out a nervous laugh. “It was...uh...a lovely evening. Thanks for the...squash.” She glanced at the food that was still left on the table.

Elliott looked at her like she was nuts. Spencer smiled awkwardly and then she and Hanna chased after Emily.

“Emily! Wait up!” Hanna called out.

But Emily didn’t hear her. Her head was pounding and her ears were ringing. She was running on pure adrenaline. She was so mad at Alison she couldn’t think straight. She didn’t stop until she got to Spencer’s house. By the time she got there her head was swimming. She was so lightheaded that she barely made it through the door of the barn. She plopped on to the couch and took a breath to try and slow her heart rate. By the time Spencer and Hanna got there she was a little more relaxed.

“Hey, we were calling after you. Are you okay?” Spencer asked. “When you left you looked…” She grimaced and then looked at Hanna. “…I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look like that. I know we’re all mad, but you’re like…so pissed you’re on a different plane.”

“I’m not angry!” She felt ridiculous, because she was yelling.

“Em, what happened?” Hanna sat down next to her.

Emily sighed and looked at her friends. She explained everything to them, leaving out the parts about how she’d blown her top about Elliott. They stared at her in shock as they tried to comprehend how quickly this was spinning out of control. If Ali went to the police with this they were screwed. Emily wanted to believe that Ali wouldn’t do that to them. She wanted to believe that Ali had heard what she’d said tonight. She wanted to believe a lot of things. They had survived so much, but Emily wasn’t sure they could survive a blow this big.


	8. I See You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random obligatory "I love this fandom" note.

Emily was getting ready to leave Spencer’s when the text came in. Their phones chimed in unison. They stared at one another, unmoving, knowing exactly what it was. Emily had gotten that feeling in the pit of her stomach enough times to know that the group message wasn’t from Ali or Aria. Hanna groaned and Spencer threw her head back and let out an irritated sigh. Emily rolled her eyes and tried to mentally prepare herself as she reached for her phone. Just like the first one, it wasn’t signed, but there was no mistaking who it was from.

_“Heard you put on quite the performance during dinner theater at the DiLaurentis Dynasty. Here’s some food for thought: I’ve acquired the taste for payback…and you bitches are on the menu.”_

Emily pressed her lips together in annoyance as she read the text. She looked at Spencer and Hanna. They looked equally pissed off. Seconds later, Spencer’s phone rang. Aria had gotten the text, too. She was at the airport on standby hoping to get back to Rosewood sooner rather than later. Spencer skirted around the details of the evening. She didn’t mention that Alison had photo evidence that put her near the scene of the crime around the time of Charlotte’s death. Aria still had no idea her friends knew that she’d left the hotel the night Charlotte was killed. The last thing the girls wanted was for Aria to have a panic attack mid-flight.

Part of Emily wanted to tell Aria to stay gone. But the other part of her knew that it would look worse for her if she did. She just had to hope that Alison wouldn’t take what she had to the police. Emily had made it perfectly clear to Ali that if she turned Aria in that their relationship would never recover. She hadn’t planned to give her an ultimatum, but she wanted Ali to know that she needed to make her choices carefully. She knew the only way to get Ali’s attention was to pull away. She just hoped she hadn’t overestimated Ali’s feelings for her.

After the dinner at Alison’s and the menacing text, Spencer was ready to go on offense. The political part of her brain was in overdrive telling her to get a handle on the problem before it spun out anymore. Emily barely heard a word of what Spencer was saying. Her brain was fried.

“Em, you’re the one who talked to her. What do you think?” Spencer tried to pull her into the conversation. “You think she’ll go to the cops?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, we need to figure out what to do about her, and fast,” Spencer said.

“Forget about Ali. What are we going to do about this new _A_ -hole?” Hanna frowned.

“How do we know they’re not one in the same?” Spencer muttered.

“No.” Emily massaged her temples. “She may be angry, but Ali wouldn’t do this to us.”

“Yeah, Ali’s a lot of things, but she’s not completely heartless.” Hanna agreed.

“I can’t deal with this right now.” Emily sighed. She grabbed her things and stood up. “I’ll call you guys in the morning.”

“I’m heading back to the loft. You want me to give you a lift?” Hanna questioned.

“Uh, no thanks. I want to walk.” She needed to clear her head.

“Okay, well…be careful,” Spencer said.

Emily nodded to acknowledge her and then walked out. She hadn’t gotten more than ten steps away from the barn when she heard Hanna calling out to her. She turned around and Hanna was right behind her holding something in her hands.

“You forgot your phone.” She held Emily’s phone out to her.

“Oh.” Emily took her cell and put it into her purse. “Thanks.” She smiled. “Considering who has the number maybe I should forget it in the middle of the ocean somewhere.”

“If you did that it would probably just piss the psycho off. If this one is anything like her or his predecessor you’d probably start getting body parts in the mail with little love notes attached to them.”

“Yeah.” Emily answered mindlessly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Hanna asked.

“It’s just…a lot to process.”

Hanna peered at her in concern.

“You mean about _A_ or…Alison?”

“All of it,” Emily said.

Emily was trying to remain stoic, but Hanna had seen the look of heartbreak in Emily’s eyes enough in the past to know that she was struggling over her feelings for Alison.

“Did something happen between you and Ali that we don’t know about?” Hanna asked softly.

Emily hated how perceptive Hanna could be sometimes. Emily rolled her eyes and then shrugged.

“What’s going on between you two, Em?” Hanna questioned.

“I don’t know.” Emily shook her head. “I honestly…I’m…” She sighed. “I’ve just got so much going through my head right now.”

“You and Ali have been through a lot together. I know how much you care about her.” Hanna paused in thought. She was trying to choose her words carefully. “But I’ve seen what it does to you when she pulls you in to her life like this. And I’m not saying that’s what’s happening, or that she doesn’t love you…in her own Ali way. I just want you to be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Trust me, that’s the last thing you need to worry about,” Emily assured her.

All the hardships that she had faced had forced her to become stronger. She had lost almost everything she had in the past five years: her father, her scholarship, her love life, her health, her money. The one thing she still had was her resolve.

“I’ll be fine.” Emily faked a smile. “I just need to get some air.”

Hanna nodded in understanding. They said their goodbyes and Emily left. She grabbed her phone out of her purse. She’d probably left it at Spencer’s subconsciously. She wanted to get away from everything, which for her meant unplugging. She glanced at the screen. She had a voicemail and a new text. Both were from Ali. She’d tried to call Emily shortly after she’d stormed out, but Emily ignored it. She glanced at the text.

_“Can we talk? Please?”_

Emily closed her messenger and then turned her phone off. She needed radio silence so she could get her head on straight again. She walked around for a little while. She had a destination in mind. She was just trying to get up the courage to go to it. After half an hour of walking around like an aimless character in a video game, she swallowed her fear and took the trip.

There had always been one sure-fire way to clear her head: talking to her father. But there was one big difference in the conversation she was having with him tonight: she was taking her mother’s advice and visiting his final resting place.

She sat next to his grave for a while, not saying anything. Looking at the headstone made it real. Not that it wasn’t already real, but something about seeing his name engraved on his tombstone made it final. At first she wasn’t sure what to say. She had so much she wanted to talk about. She ran her hands over the army insignia and swallowed a knot in her throat. Everything would be so much easier if her dad was still alive.

“You have no idea how much I miss you.” She ran her hands against the grooves in his headstone. “It’s been…hard. You know, after everything we went through in high school, I thought we were done with disasters.” She choked back tears. “Yet, here we are.”

She peered at the headstone and then looked up at the evening sky. She took a breath to try and get her emotions under control.

“I knew something was wrong that morning when I got up. It’s like I felt a shift in the universe. I couldn’t shake it. It was the strangest thing.” She closed her eyes and thought back to when she’d first heard the news. “I was in class when mom called the school. _Human Anatomy_. My phone was off because we were in the middle of an exam. I will never forget the look the instructor gave me when he got the memo about the call.” She pressed her lips together and bit the inside of her cheek. “Things were different after that. The next semester nothing really made sense anymore. After I flunked two classes and lost my scholarship I kind of just drifted for a while. I was too ashamed to tell anyone, so I kept it a secret. I started blowing through the money you left me so I could get by. There were so many nights I thought ‘well, at least things can’t get any worse’. Then I got sick.”

She glanced down at the ground and then laughed darkly. It’s like the universe had heard her and decided to come crashing in yelling “challenge accepted!” At first she thought it was some cosmic joke being played on her for lying to her friends and family about college.

“I think the doctor was as surprised as I was when he found the abnormalities in my heart. He said I do everything right…eating, exercising. Nothing about me fit the typical profile for heart problems. Guess it’s just the luck of the draw. It’s ironic, actually. I failed Human Anatomy…and then Human Anatomy failed me.” She smiled weakly. “After I found out about my heart I flew home. I was ready to tell mom everything, but she was still such a mess over losing you that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look her in the eye and tell her that she might lose me, too. So I told her everything in California was going well. We had a really nice visit. Then when I flew back I used what was left of my trust fund for medical bills. Now I’m completely broke and I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

She had done everything in her power to keep everyone in her life from finding out everything she was going through. It was exhausting keeping it a secret, but after the hell she had been through as a teenager…the last thing she wanted in her life was people looking at her like she would break if they touched her.

“I have lost control of everything, dad.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel normal again.” She paused and swallowed hard. “Then the other day…with Ali there was this moment where everything fell away. It was just me and Ali, and nothing else. And for the first time in a long time…I felt like everything was going to be okay. I wasn’t thinking about school or my heart or losing you. All I could think about was her.” She folded her arms across her chest and rubbed her arms with her hands. “I love her. I’ve always loved her. She knows that. But with everything going on I don’t know what’s going to happen.” She sighed. “I wish you were here.”

She heard a rustling noise behind her and then heard a twig snap. She spun around and saw the shadow of someone leaning over the freshly covered grave of Charlotte DiLaurentis. Emily slowly stood up. For a brief second she thought maybe it was Alison, but then the shadow straightened up and the moonlight cast a reflection on her face. It was Sara. She turned and looked at Emily with a stone-cold expression on her face. Emily felt her face flush with anger. The police cleared her, but Emily knew Sara was guilty of something. Sara turned to walk away, but Emily went after her.

“Hey!” She exclaimed loud enough to wake the dead. “What the hell are you doing here?” Emily closed the gap between them within seconds. “What, are you following me?”

“I wasn’t following you, Emily.” Her voice was dripping with insincerity. “I was saying goodbye to someone.”

“You mean Charlotte?” Emily looked at her skeptically. “You claimed she stole your soul and scrambled your brains. Isn’t that what you told the judge?”

“It’s complicated.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, sure.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Like the dollhouse was complicated?” She glared at her. “Why did you really come back to Rosewood?”

Sara smiled at her, but didn’t respond.

“Look, if you came here to mess with me or my friends I swear…I will end you.” Emily stepped towards her, ready to throw a punch.

“It’s funny that you are so afraid of me. Considering what you and your friends did to me I think I should be the one afraid of you.” She held her gloved hands up. “I don’t hold it against you. My therapist taught me how to let things go…something you and your friends don’t seem to know how to do.”

“You don’t know the first thing about us.” Emily spit angrily.

“I know you better than you think.” Sara smirked. “I don’t know about the others, but I know you feel guilty.” She looked at her hands.

“Guilty?” Emily stifled a laugh. “I have nothing to feel guilty about!”

“Should I take these gloves off?”

“There was nothing anyone could have done.” Emily clenched her jaw and tried to resist kicking the bitch’s feet out from underneath her.

“Are you trying to convince me…or yourself?”

Emily wanted to smack the smug look off of her face.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I really did care about you.” Sara put one gloved hand on top of the other and then glanced at Charlotte’s grave. “I suggest you tread very carefully. I’d hate to see you end up like Charlotte.”

“Is that a threat?” Emily snapped.

“More of a warning,” Sara replied coolly. “This is a very dangerous town, Emily. You should watch your back. Charlotte didn’t.”

She started to walk away again, but Emily grabbed her arm.

“Hey! We’re not finished here,” Emily said.

Sara didn’t flinch. She just looked over Emily’s shoulder and waved. Emily glanced behind her and saw a groundskeeper walking through the premises. Emily let her go and Sara smiled at her. She disappeared into the night like a creature from the underworld.

Emily seethed as she walked home. If this was the universe’s weird way of taking her mind off of everything else in her life…it had succeeded in a big way. She spent the rest of the night so pissed off at Sara Harvey that she didn’t even think about _A,_ Alison, Aria, or anything else.

She tossed and turned all night and woke up an hour before her alarm was set to go off. She half expected the cops to be at her door ready to take her in for questioning bright and early, but no one in uniform ever showed up. And when Aria made it back in to town without being arrested at the airport they were starting to think that Alison had changed her mind about turning the picture of Aria in.

Aria asked them to meet her at her house. The first thing Emily noticed when she got there was how tired she looked. Emily’s first instinct was to wrap her in a blanket and make her take a nap, but knowing Aria she would be like one of those little hyperactive anti-nap children who begged for a glass of water or a back rub every three minutes instead of actually sleeping.

The girls had barely gotten through the door before Aria spilled everything she’d been holding on to since the night Charlotte died. They didn’t even have a chance to tell her they knew about the fact that she’d left the hotel, because she practically told them as they were walking into her living room.

“You guys don’t look surprised.” Aria furrowed her brow in confusion. “ _Why_ don’t you guys look surprised?”

“We kind of already knew.” Emily replied.

“I was up for half the night with little Mrs. Spring Breaker over here.” Hanna motioned towards Emily. “I know you left for more than just a snack run.”

“That’s actually exactly what it was,” Aria said. “Or at least...what it started out as.” She thought back to that night. “I couldn’t sleep. I kept obsessing about what I said to the judge about Charlotte. After the judge released her I thought that she’d find out that I was the one hold-out on getting her released and that she might retaliate. The room started to feel a little...claustrophobic, so I called Ezra and asked him to meet me.”

A realization hit Emily. That’s why Ezra had been acting so weird outside Hollis Medical Center.

“I just wanted to feel normal.” She shrugged. “I wanted a pizza,” she said with a laugh.

“See, I told you.” Hanna smiled at Spencer. “Food or sex.”

“Aria, why didn’t you just tell us?” Emily asked.

“Because that’s not all we did.”

“So it was food _and_ sex.” Hanna grinned slyly.

“No,” Aria chuckled. “No. We just talked. It felt good. It felt…natural. You know, we’ve both been through a lot, so we both had a lot to say. I could have stayed out with him all night to be honest, but I knew I needed to get back. We were getting a taxi and um…we saw someone walking towards the church. At first we thought it was Ali. But when she turned towards the front door we realized it was Charlotte. I froze. I wanted to call the cops, but Ezra reminded me that she was free. He muttered something about how we lived in the kind of world where people like us suffer and people like Charlotte get to go free. He seemed really upset.”

“What do you mean _upset_?” Spencer asked her to elaborate.

“He was angry.” Aria glanced away nervously.

“Angry like ‘I’m going to watch football and punch a few holes in the wall’ angry or angry like ‘I’m going to toss a bitch off a balcony like a wedding bouquet’ angry?” Spencer questioned.

“Spencer!” Emily shook her head. “How about a little tact?”

“Tact?” She said it like it was a dirty word. “But that is not the way of my people.”

Emily rolled her eyes and then laughed. It’s not like it wasn’t true. Spencer had always been very blunt. It’s actually one of the things Emily loved about her. Her methods got answers. After a second, Spencer glanced at Aria.

“Sorry,” Spencer said sincerely. “He had a right to be upset.”

“Yeah. Charlotte put our loved ones through hell, too. She framed Hanna’s mom for murder, she almost ran Emily’s mom over with a car, and she nearly sent my mom into anaphylactic shock. And she threatened to do much worse to everyone we loved if we didn’t play her stupid game. When she had us locked up in that dollhouse…our families didn’t know if we were dead or alive. They agonized for almost a month.” Aria cringed.

The room was silent for a minute and then Spencer faced Aria and spoke in a softer tone than she’d used a moment ago,

“But it wasn’t our families who saw Charlotte outside the church that night.”

“What happened after you saw her?” Emily questioned.

“I don’t know.” Aria shrugged. “Ezra put me in a taxi and I came back to the hotel.” She leaned forward and put her hand on her face. “You guys, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you, but when we got the call about Charlotte I knew what it would look like if you knew the truth.”

“So, when I asked you about leaving the room…you didn’t lie to protect yourself,” Hanna said. “You lied to protect Ezra.”

“I talked to him and he told me he went home afterwards. But now I don’t know. He was so angry.” She had tears in her eyes. “He saw how upset I was in that courtroom, and I know he would do anything to protect me.”

“Yeah, but murder?” Emily knew Ezra had a dark side, but she couldn’t quite wrap her head around him being a murderer. The man had taken a bullet for them.

“Okay, well we have to tell someone,” Hanna said.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “No, this is Ezra we’re talking about. Until we have concrete proof no one says anything.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Aria looked at Emily.

Ezra hadn’t always been a saint. He’d done some downright sleazy and underhanded things, but none of them could claim to be innocent. They had all done stuff they regretted. When the dust settled, all Ezra wanted for the girls was for them to be safe and happy.

They talked for a little while about how they were going to approach this with Ezra and about what they were going to do about their new stalker. Emily told the girls about Sara Harvey. Hanna and Spencer talked about having Toby or Caleb tail her to see if she was up to something. Emily told Aria about the photo that Ali had. She was actually rather calm about it. Her nerves were deadened from being so tired. Plus, she was convinced that Emily had been able to talk some common sense in Ali.

A little over an hour after they had gotten to Aria’s house they had discussed everything they could possibly discuss. Emily’s phone chimed, rudely interrupting their plotting and scheming. She looked at her alarm and rolled her eyes.

“Everything okay?” Aria asked.

“Yeah, it’s just my mom.” Emily lied.

They went back to talking. Emily waited for a little while, and then discreetly mentioned she was going to the bathroom. A few seconds after she left the room Spencer’s phone rang. She answered and then walked outside to take the call. Aria and Hanna watched her pace around on the front porch for a few seconds.

“I’ve got to run.” Spencer abruptly walked back in, still on the phone. “Emergency election meeting.” She grabbed her things and mouthed ‘sorry’. “Tell Em I said bye.” She walked out.

“And then there were three.” Hanna ate a bite of frozen orange juice out of can.

“You want to defrost that, Han?” Aria looked at Hanna like she was eating something out of the garbage.

“I like it. It tastes like a Mimosa Popsicle.” Hanna shrugged. She finished off the last of it.

“Okay...” Aria answered unsurely.

Aria’s phone rang and she looked at it. She bit her lip.

“I’ve got to take this.” Aria looked at Hanna apologetically. “It’s work.”

“And then there were two.” She tossed the can of what was left of the frozen pulp into the wastebasket next to the couch and walked off to find Emily.

“Hanna…” Aria put her hand over the speaker on her phone.

Hanna turned around and saw Aria giving her a look like a mother would give a 5-year-old for drawing all over the wall.

“…do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants.” Aria frowned. “Please throw that away in the kitchen.”

“Okay, mom.” Hanna scoffed as she pulled the can out of the wastebasket.

She chuckled to herself as she walked towards the kitchen. She threw the can away and then walked back towards the living room. When she turned the corner she saw that the bathroom door was slightly ajar. Through the crack she saw Emily holding a syringe with a needle. Hanna watched as Emily gave herself some kind of shot.

She felt a knot forming in her stomach. She had thought that Emily seemed a little off, but she’d just chalked it up to her father’s passing. But looking back on the past few days she realized she’d missed the signs that it was something more. Emily had seemed more worn down…and quieter than usual. Hanna sighed. She’d known that Emily hadn’t just been hungover the night at the hotel. She’d seen it in her face that night. But Emily had been so adamant about it being nothing. Hanna mentally called herself an idiot for dismissing it so quickly. Emily had a habit of pretending like everything was fine when it wasn’t. When they were younger Hanna had usually been able to see through her facade, but Emily had gotten a lot better at hiding things...and Hanna had gotten so wrapped up in the latest Rosewood drama that she had totally missed what was going on with her best friend.

The shock hit her harder than she expected. She took a few steps back and leaned against the wall. She looked up at the ceiling and tried to keep from crying. She heard Aria walking up the stairs. A few seconds later, Emily came back towards the living room. When she turned the corner she almost ran right into Hanna.

“Jeeze!” Emily jumped. “Hanna, you scared the crap out of me.”

Hanna didn’t know what to say, so she just smiled nervously. Emily looked and saw that the living room was empty.

“Hey, where’d everyone go?” Emily asked.

Finally, Hanna’s brain returned to her and she was able to form coherent thoughts again.

“Spencer had to take off for an election meeting and Aria had to take a work call.”

“Oh.” Emily shrugged. She walked into the living room and put her purse down. She grabbed her cell phone.

“So…what did your mom want?” Hanna walked up behind her.

“My mom?” Emily questioned.

“When she texted you earlier.”

“Oh, she just…wanted to see if I wanted to grab dinner with her tonight,” Emily said.

Now that she knew what she was looking for Hanna could tell that Emily was lying. Hanna stared at Emily for a second. Emily picked up on the tension in the room. She saw a peculiar look in Hanna’s eyes.

“Emily, I saw you…” Hanna frowned, “…in the bathroom.”

Emily’s heart sank. She wanted to kick herself for not making sure the coast was clear before giving herself her injection. She had been foolish to think that she would be able to fool her friends. She tried one last ditch effort to fib her way out of it.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She tried to play dumb.

Hanna’s expression softened. She gave Emily a concerned look. Emily knew she wasn’t buying it. Both of their emotions boiled to the surface.

“Em…” Hanna sighed, “…it’s me.”

Emily looked away uncomfortably. She wasn’t going to be able to lie her way out of this. Not this time. Hanna heaved out a saddened breath. Emily looked at her and saw that look she’d been dreading…that look she didn’t want to deal with: the fear, the pain, the heartbreak.

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” Hanna asked tentatively.

Tears pooled in Emily’s eyes, but she refused to cry. She nodded. Hanna blanched. She felt like she was going to pass out.

“How bad is it?” Hanna asked.

Emily heaved out a shaky breath and glanced away from her friend. As soon as she told her, there was no going back.

“Emily, please, talk to me.” Hanna begged. “What’s going on?”

Emily looked towards the stairs. She could hear Aria talking on her phone. She grabbed Hanna’s arm and motioned for her to follow her out to the porch. When they got outside Emily forced herself to make eye contact with Hanna. The look in Hanna’s eyes almost made her break down. Her hands started trembling. Emily had been through a lot in her life, but nothing terrified her more than the talk she was about to have with her best friend.


	9. I'll Tell You No Lies

They sat on Aria’s porch swing as Emily explained everything she’d been through since her dad died. It was hard talking about it, but in a way…she felt a sense of relief. She didn’t leave anything out. She told Hanna about losing her scholarship and dropping out of school. She told her about how she’d been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and about how when the doctors ordered some routine tests they’d found severe damage to the tissue and valves in her heart.

“So, what does it mean?” Hanna asked. “They can fix it, right? The doctors are going to fix it?”

Emily’s face tensed. She was so tired of lying. The truth was she didn’t know if the treatments would work, and if they failed she had no idea if she’d survive surgery. But she didn’t want Hanna to panic.

“They’re working on a treatment plan with me.” She assured Hanna.

Hanna’s lips twitched. She bit her tongue to keep from crying. She looked at Emily and put her hand on her arm.

“God, Emily…”

“Hanna, don’t…okay? Don’t look at me like that.” Emily begged.

“I wish you would have told me sooner,” Hanna sighed.

“How could I?” Emily’s voice was shaking. “After everything we went through the last thing I wanted to do was give you guys more grief in your life.”

“Who else knows?” Hanna asked.

“You’re the first person I’ve told.” And that was only because she didn’t have a lie elaborate enough to explain what Hanna had seen.

“You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.” She sounded equal parts heartbroken and annoyed. “It’s what we’re here for. Me, Spencer, Aria, Ali…we…”

“No, Hanna…” Emily interrupted her. “You have to promise me you won’t say anything to the others.”

“Em, this is serious.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Emily asked. “Look, I’ve been living with this for six months. I have seen more doctors than you could possibly imagine. I know the reality of the situation. Trust me.”

“What about your mom? Does she know anything about this?”

“She can’t find out.” Emily shook her head. “It will destroy her.”

“She’s your _mother._ Don’t you think she’d want to know?”

“She worries about me if I have a cold. How do you think she’s going to handle it if she finds out my heart is failing?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Don’t push me on this.” Emily warned her.

This was another reason she didn’t want her friends to know. She felt guilty enough keeping it from her mother. She didn’t need them making it worse.

“Okay.” Hanna relented. She nodded in understanding. “But with everything going on I think you should stay at the loft with me and Caleb.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Hanna.” The minute she said it she realized how bratty she sounded. Maybe she _did_ need a babysitter if she was going to act like such a baby.

“Of course not.” She sounded sincere. “I just think that with everything happening…the last thing you need is to have to keep this façade up with your mom. So just tell her that I’m being a Bridezilla and you’ve been chosen to rein me in. Then you won’t have to worry about having to hide this from her.”

That actually made sense. Emily didn’t do a good job of hiding her surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that. I have good ideas sometimes.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“What are you going to tell Caleb?” Emily asked.

“We’ll tell him the same thing we’re telling your mom.” She shrugged.

“You really think he’ll buy it?” Emily looked at Hanna skeptically. Caleb had a way of finding out the truth about things sooner or later.

“Oh, please, he’ll be so thrilled to hear that he doesn’t have to sit through interviews for wedding photographers and all the hipster cruise ship wedding bands that he won’t ask any questions.” She scoffed. “He just wants to go to the courthouse and make it some modern-day one witness minimum kind of thing. This way, I’ll get total control and he won’t feel like an ass for leaving me to take care of it on my own. It’s a win for everyone. So, what do you say?”

It actually made Emily feel better about becoming a third wheel since Hanna was using her for her own devious wedding scheme. She thought about it for a minute and then nodded.

“Okay.” Emily agreed. “I’m in.”

“Awesome.” Hanna smiled. “I’ll give you my key before you leave. I’ll just use Caleb’s until we get a spare made. We are probably going to be out late tonight, so you’ll have the place to yourself. Just make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa.”

“Technically it’s Lucas’s casa.” Emily corrected her.

“Okay, do you want a place to stay or not?”

“I promise not to throw any raging keggers.” Emily nodded with a smile.

Hanna chuckled. After a few seconds her smile faded and she sighed.

“Can I ask you something?” Hanna turned to face her.

“I know you, Han. Even if I say no, you’ll ask me anyway.” Emily shrugged.

“I get why you’re holding out on telling Spencer and Aria. And I know you are trying to protect your mom from the pain. But…why haven’t you told Alison, yet? I know you guys are on the outs right now, but you’ve never kept anything this big from her.”

“I’ve never had anything of this magnitude to hide,” Emily replied.

“Uh, you had some pretty big secrets when we were younger…”

“What? Being gay? I didn’t hide that from her.” Emily shook her head. “She knew how I felt about her.” She furrowed her brow in thought and then tapped her fingers against her legs. “Coming out in high school seems like a cakewalk compared to this. You know, at least then…I was the only person at risk of getting hurt. The stakes change when your loved ones are the ones in the hot-seat.” Her expression softened. “It’s not fair to drag her into something that I don’t know the outcome of.”

“I wish she would have felt the same way about this whole Charlotte thing,” Hanna muttered.

Emily’s phone beeped, alerting her to a new text message. For a moment she felt a paralyzing fear creeping up her spine, worried that maybe their new stalker had been eavesdropping on her conversation with Hanna somehow. Her concern faded when she looked at the text.

“This time it actually _is_ my mom,” Emily said. “She wants to meet up for coffee.”

“Can you even drink coffee?”

“I’m not supposed to. It’s been a pain in the ass switching to decaf tea.”

“I can’t even imagine.” Hanna shuddered. “Decaf should only be served in the deepest depths of hell.”

Emily laughed. They went back inside just as Aria was finishing up her work call. Emily said goodbye and left to meet her mom. She was almost to _The Brew_ when she got another text message. This one was from Ali.

_“Please, Em. I’m sorry. I know I messed up.”_

She stared at the screen trying to decide how to respond, but before she got the chance she saw her mother waving at her from inside. She waved back and walked in. They ordered their drinks and Emily told her mother about her plan to stay with Hanna to help with the wedding. Pam was eager to hear all about it. Organization and planning were right up her alley. She asked Emily if Hanna and Caleb needed a caterer, because she’d be glad to help with that. Emily laughed as her mother talked about her favorite kitchen anecdotes. Everything was going exactly according to plan.

“How was dinner last night?” Pam asked.

_Complicated. Insane. Frustrating._ Emily thought to herself.

“They prepared quite the spread.” Emily smiled.

“How is Alison doing?” Pam took a sip of her coffee.

_Complicated…insane…frustrating._

“You know…she’s Ali.” Emily shrugged.

“We should have her over for dinner if she’s up for it.”

_As long as you hide the alcohol._

Emily smiled and nodded. An alert popped up on her phone. Emily’s eyes widened and she tried to grab it before her mother could see it, but she wasn’t quick enough.

“Why are you going to Hollis Medical Center?” Pam looked at the phone.

She got that nervous look on her face that Emily couldn’t stand to see. She yelled at herself in thought for not putting her phone up. She’d set the alert to remind her to go to the pharmacy to get the meds she’d forgotten the other day.

“Are you feeling okay?” Pam asked.

“I’m fine.” Emily tried to keep her voice steady. “It’s just for an interview.” She dismissed the reminder.

“What for?”

_Crap._ She’d backed herself into a corner.

“Uh…Grad school.”

_Double crap._

“Grad School at Hollis?” Pam exclaimed in excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m just exploring my options.” She tried to play it cool.

“You know, your Aunt Kathy is a Nurse Practitioner. And I could speak to Will Perkins…your dad’s friend, the medic? I bet both of them would be happy to write you a letter of recommendation.” Pam smiled.

Of course her mother already had a plan for her to get into Grad School. When did she not have a plan?

“You don’t have to do that,” Emily replied nervously.

“Sweetie, if you’re worried about paying for it you shouldn’t be.” Pam shrugged. “Your dad left you that money for exactly this reason.” She put her hand on Emily’s leg. “He would be really proud of you, Emmy.”

She flinched hearing her father’s nickname for her, equal parts because she missed him and because she couldn’t stand to hear her mother tell her what a good daughter she was when she was lying to her about so much. She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to dodge her mother’s compliments because they made her feel like crap.

When they finished she was more than eager to get home and grab her things so she could get out of her house as soon as possible. She packed up her car and said goodbye to her mother. As she climbed into the driver’s seat, her phone chimed. Emily grabbed it, assuming it was another message from Ali.

_“You think nursing your broken heart is hard? How are you going to feel trying to put your mother’s heart back together after she finds out you’ve been lying to her? Start talking or I will.”_

Emily stared at the screen for a moment and then clenched her jaw in anger. It took all the strength she had not to throw her phone through the window in frustration. Instead she settled for throwing the phone into the passenger’s seat and then slamming her hands against the steering wheel and cursing. She glanced back at her house and sighed before pulling out of the driveway.

She drove through town trying not to take her rage out on the other drivers on the road. What she really wanted to do was drive until she hit the ocean, then hop on a boat and keep going. She was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. When she got to Hollis Medical Center she stared at the building for a few minutes before she could force herself to go inside.

She picked up her medication and hurried towards the door. She fumbled around in her purse for her sunglasses and her keys. She was so busy digging around in her bag that she didn’t see him approaching her. She bumped into him and dropped her phone and her medicine on to the floor. The medication rolled underneath a shelf. She grabbed her phone. The person she’d run into grabbed the bottle of medication and stood up to hand it back to her.

“Emily?” Standing in front of her was Elliott Rollins.

_You have got to be kidding me._

She’d rather set her hair on fire than try to make small-talk with him. She was starting to wonder what cosmic higher power she had pissed off to deserve this fate.

Emily forced a smile on to her face and reached out to take the medication from him. She shoved it in her purse, hoping he hadn’t seen the prescription. He was a doctor and he’d know what it was for. She didn’t need word getting around town as to why she was really sticking around. Running into him here should have crossed her mind earlier, but she just assumed that since Elliott worked at Welby that she wouldn’t see him at Hollis Medical Center.

“Elliott, hey,” she said politely. “I..I uh...thought you worked at Welby.”

“Oh, I do,” he explained. “I’ve got a patient that needs a medication that we don’t have in stock, so I called for it to be filled here.”

“Ah, well, I’ll let you get back to work then.” She motioned towards the pharmacy counter.

She started to walk away, but he gently touched her arm.

“Emily, wait…”

Internally, she reacted like a demon would to Holy Water to him touching her.

“…I’m actually glad I ran into you. Ali mentioned she’s been trying to get ahold of you.”

Emily didn’t respond.

“She says you haven’t answered her messages,” he said.

“That’s kind of intentional.” Emily looked away. “I can’t see her right now.”

“She wants to apologize. She feels badly for the way she acted…”

“She should.” Emily snapped.

She wasn’t really still angry at Ali. She was just freaked about everything else happening, and being mad at Ali was an easy outlet.

“She was upset about Charlotte’s death and she lashed out.” He put his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. “She knows her behavior was alienating. She feels terrible about how she handled things. And with everything going on she shouldn’t be alone right now. Just…come by.”

“Why? So we can braid each other’s hair and watch some stupid movie? No, thank you,” Emily said. “We’re not in high school anymore.”

She expected him to lash out at her and defend Alison. Instead he just nodded in understanding. She saw Elliott’s eyes dart to her purse. He had definitely seen what the medication was. She wanted to scream.

“Look, Ali cares a great deal about you…”

“I have to be somewhere.” Emily cut him off.

“I just…” He sighed, “…I’m sorry. This was a bad time to ask a favor of you.” He cleared his throat. “If you need anything…”

“I really have to go.” Emily glanced towards the exit. “Can you please just do me a favor and keep this between us?”

“Of course.” He nodded.

She raced out of the building and then sped to the loft before anyone else could corner her and ask her for her life story. She’d gone from no one knowing about her double life to three people in record time.

“Might as well just tell the whole world,” she muttered sarcastically as she slammed her car door.

Of course, that’s probably exactly what this new _A_ was going to do. Right on cue, her phone beeped. She was holding it so tight she thought she might break it in half. When she looked at the text she relaxed. It was another message from Ali. But this one had a different tone to it.

_“Need to talk. Something happened.”_

“Not now, Alison.” She couldn’t deal with any more drama today.

She turned the ringer off and grabbed some of her stuff and retreated to the loft. She spent the rest of the day completely ignoring her phone. She couldn’t help but wonder if Elliott had gone straight to Ali’s house and told her everything. She didn’t want to deal with the fallout of that tonight.

She felt the same way about Alison finding out as she did her mother finding out. She couldn’t stand the thought of devastating the two people she loved most in the world. When she did finally look at her phone again it was after midnight. She had a text from Hanna telling her that they would be home in a few hours, a text from Spencer telling her that Toby was keeping an eye on Sara Harvey, and a text from Aria saying she’d spoken to Ezra and he’d confessed _not_ to murder…but to finding her parents sneaking around with each other. They had apparently been out late celebrating Byron asking Ella to marry him again. They had asked Ezra not to say anything to Aria, because they wanted to tell her when the time was right. After she read through her texts she checked her voicemail. She had a missed call from her doctor’s office telling her that the doctor wanted to make an appointment to go over her test results. Emily set a reminder to call first thing in the morning and then went to bed.


	10. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, drama...yada, yada, yada.

She didn’t think she’d be able to sleep after everything she had been through, but her body disagreed. She was so exhausted that she didn’t even hear Caleb and Hanna when they got in. The next morning when she got up the first thing she did was call the doctor. As luck would have it, they had an availability in the afternoon. She made the appointment, then took a shower and got dressed.

She went into the kitchen to get something to eat. Hanna was standing next to the stove eating a bowl of what looked like leftover macaroni and cheese. She was staring at a tea kettle waiting for it to start steaming.

“Morning.” Emily yawned.

“Hey. You sleep okay?” Hanna asked.

“Yeah, pretty good.” Emily nodded. “Caleb still in bed?”

“No. He had a tux fitting this morning.”

Emily made some toast and got some water and then walked over to the table and sat down.

“Everything go okay with Pam?” Hanna asked as she pulled the steaming tea kettle off of the stove.

“You know you can never call my mom that to her face, right?” Emily asked.

Hanna shrugged and then laughed.

“Did she buy the wedding excuse?” Hanna questioned.

“Yep. I told her you were still trying to narrow down bridesmaid dresses…even though you haven’t asked us yet.” Emily paused and looked over at Hanna. “You are going to ask us, right?”

“You’ve got a lot more to worry about than that.” Hanna poured them each a cup of tea.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Emily downplayed it.

Hanna gave Emily her typical “I don’t believe you” side-eye.

“You kinda need your heart to live.” She walked back over to the stove.

“I have a heart, Hanna.” Emily rolled her eyes. “It’s just not entirely functional.”

Hanna went to put the tea kettle back on the stove and accidentally brushed her hand up against the hot eye. She jerked back and dropped the tea kettle. It hit the floor with a loud clang. Emily dropped her toast and nearly fell out of her chair.

“Are you okay?” Emily questioned.

“I’m fine.” Hanna ran her hand under some cool water. She turned around to face Emily and noticed that her hands were trembling. “Why are you the one shaking? I’m the one with the scalded flesh.” Her eyes widened. “Oh, crap, I’m not like...giving you a heart attack am I?”

“What did I tell you about acting like a paranoid helicopter mom? I get enough of that from my doctors.” She scoffed. “I’m not going to die if you make a little noise.”

“Yeah, Caleb and I figured that out last night,” Hanna said under her breath. “We really didn’t wake you?”

“No. Why?” Emily asked.

“Because we nearly broke the damn bed,” she said sheepishly. “Drunk sex is the best.” She sighed happily.

“Well, I’m glad I’m not cramping your style.” Emily laughed.

“Sorry.” Hanna bent over and picked up the tea kettle.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad at least one of us is getting some.” She leaned over to pick up her toast.

“So, what gives with the nerves?” Hanna motioned to Emily’s still shaking hands.

“Yesterday I had to take this new medication and it’s made me all jittery. I feel like I’ve had a triple shot of macchiato and I’m about to jump out of my skin.” Emily tossed the bread down on her plate and glanced at her phone. “And...on top of that, _A_ is threatening to tell my mom about everything...my heart, dropping out of school...all of it.” Emily ground her teeth in anger.

“What? When did this happen?” Hanna spun around.

“Yesterday after I had coffee with my mom,” Emily said.

“I was wondering why you suddenly went radio silent.” Hanna looked at her in disbelief. “How could _A_ possibly know about your heart?”

“How does _A_ know anything? Bitch probably has me wired and I don’t even know it. She...he...it...whatever is probably hiring a sky-writer to tell the whole town about it.” She groaned. She didn’t want to think about all the heartache her lies were sure to cause. “And I thought you and Elliott knowing was hard.”

“Wait, back up. Elliott knows, too?”

“He saw me at the pharmacy getting my meds.” She glanced at the clock. “Speaking of…they’re in my bag. Can you hand it to me?”

“Wait, if Elliott knows and you got a text from _A_...” She grabbed Emily’s purse and walked over to her. “Don’t you think that’s a little suspicious?”

“I got the text before he found out about it.” Emily explained.

“Oh...well...he still skeeves me out.” Hanna frowned. “Spencer doesn’t like him either.”

“I gathered from the whole ‘Doctor Doom’ thing.” Emily nodded. “Believe me, I’m not his biggest fan either.”

“God, why does this town breed such creepy people?”

“Maybe we’re just jaded.” Emily shrugged.

“Years of torture will do that to a person.” Hanna gave Emily her bag and then sat down across from her.

Emily paused before she opened the flap of her purse. She’d been looking over her shoulder for so long that it had become second nature for her to make sure no one was around when she took her meds.

“Relax, Em. You don’t have to hide it from me anymore.” Hanna noticed that she was lost in thought.

“Yeah, I know.” Emily grabbed her medication. “It’s just weird. I’m not used to an audience.”

“I’m not an audience.” Hanna shrugged indifferently, trying to make her feel better. She grabbed a magazine and started flipping through it.

Well, at least out of all her friends, the one who had found out was the one who had a habit of saying the right thing at the right time. Spencer would be having a nervous breakdown, Aria would be looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes, and Alison would be all over her trying to mother her.

She took her meds, and that was that. They went back to having breakfast. Hanna was just about to finish her tea when her phone chirped. Emily’s phone went off a few seconds later. They looked at one another and then Hanna decided to be brave and see who it was from.

“It’s just Aria.” Hanna breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s going to talk to Ella and Byron to see if Ezra is telling the truth about seeing them together.”

“Okay, did I miss a memo telling us it’s okay to call our friends’ parents by their first names?” Ali did it, too, and it drove her crazy.

“We’re adults.” Hanna shrugged.

“You’re eating macaroni and cheese for breakfast.”

“So?”

Emily rolled her eyes. She scrolled past Aria’s message on her phone and looked at the messages from Alison and sighed.

“Hey, have you gotten any messages from Ali?” Emily asked.

“No. Why? Have you?”

“Of course,” Emily said. “She’s reaching out to me… _alone_. She thinks I’ll come and hear her out.”

“To be honest I’m kind of surprised you haven’t.” Hanna admitted.

“It’s too much,” Emily replied. “Keeping this secret from my mom has been hard enough. I can’t handle dealing with _The Ali Show_ right now. I’m already strung out enough as it is.” Emily grumbled. “God, this is so typical. Why does she always do this? Why does she always come to me first and just expect me to…”

“Em, shut up and take a breath before you pass out.” Hanna took a sip of her tea. “You got anything in there to take the edge off?” she motioned towards Emily’s purse.

“My cardiologist is pretty strict about what I can take.” Emily shook her head.

“I meant for me.” Hanna laughed.

“Sure, I’ll ask for the friend discount at my appointment today,” Emily said sarcastically.

“You’re going to the doctor today?” Hanna asked.

“Yeah. I’ve got an appointment at 1.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“No. It’s just a follow up. Should be pretty routine.”

“You sure?” Hanna questioned. “I can play with all the equipment they have in the room and you can scold me and tell me to stop behaving like a child.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I can handle this, Han,” Emily said.

“You are the most stubborn individual I have ever known.”

“Pot, meet kettle,” Emily replied sarcastically.

They spent the rest of the morning trading quips and talking about Hanna’s wedding. She would have gone on about it all day, but she had a couple of errands to run. As she was leaving she noticed Emily staring at her phone.

“Why don’t you just call her?” Hanna grabbed her purse.

“Is it that obvious?” Emily asked.

“You do this thing with your mouth where your lips curl up whenever you’re thinking about her.” Hanna teased her.

“Goodbye, Hanna.” Emily glared at her.

Hanna walked out of the loft laughing. Emily chuckled at hearing her laughter echoing in the hall. She ate a quick lunch and then got ready to leave for her doctor’s appointment. As she was getting her things together she heard someone outside the door rustling around.

“Hanna? Did you forget something?” Emily walked towards the door. She went to open it. “Did you forget to get the key from Caleb?”

But it wasn’t Hanna at the door.

“Ali?”

The first thing Emily noticed was how tense she was.

“Uh…” Ali stuttered, “…you know, I know you don’t want to see me. I got here and I realized…I’m sorry. I’ll leave.”

“Is something wrong?” Emily questioned.

Ali’s eyes darted around the hallway nervously.

“Ali, what is it?”

“Sara Harvey came to see me.” Ali sighed.

Emily felt her blood beginning to boil. She should have killed that peroxide Barbie knock-off in the cemetery. Emily thought for a few seconds. What if Sara had overheard her in the cemetery? She had been talking to her dad about everything…including what was going on with her heart. She had gotten the text from _A_ threatening to tell her mother about her heart before she ran into Elliott. That just left Bimbo Barbie. If Sara Harvey wasn’t _A_ , she was most certainly helping whoever it was.

“Why would she come to see you?” Emily asked.

“I think…I think we were wrong about her.” Ali’s voice was laden with anxiety.

“I’ll say.” Emily scoffed. She clenched her fists together in anger.

“I think Sara and Charlotte were closer than we thought. I think Sara actually cared about her.”

Emily loosened her fists. She hadn’t been expecting that, though she should have...considering that Sara had been visiting Charlotte’s grave. But that had been a ruse to follow Emily, hadn’t it?

“What did Sara tell you?”

“She said that after the trial she felt guilty. She went to visit Charlotte to let her know how sorry she was. She told her that after the accident…when she was in the hospital she spent a lot of time lashing out at everyone who was trying to help her. After a while she said she realized that it wasn’t them she was angry at…it was herself. She hated her life and who she was and everything she’d become. She told me that Charlotte understood, and that she forgave her.”

“Don’t tell me you bought her crap.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think Charlotte would have told you?”

“No. Sara asked her not to. She said she told Charlotte she felt guilty about hurting us, too, and that she wanted to make amends in her own way.”

“Of course she did.” Emily grumbled. “Why would you believe a word she says? Sara Harvey lies. That’s what she does.”

“Not about this. It felt…real,” Alison said. “I haven’t met many people who genuinely cared about Charlotte. I know when someone is being insincere. I looked her in the eyes...and I saw pain in them. I saw the loss of my sister looking right back at me. I think in a weird way...they understood each other.” She shifted uncomfortably. “Can I come in and talk for a bit?”

“I uh…actually can’t do this now.” Emily looked at her watch. “I have somewhere I have to be and…”

“Please?” She begged.

Emily looked at her and couldn’t find it in her heart to say no. She had a few minutes to spare. She waved her inside. They sat down on the couch.

“How did you know I was staying here?” Emily asked.

“I stopped by your house,” Ali said. “Your mom mentioned you were helping Caleb and Hanna with the wedding.” She looked around the loft. “Did you get my messages?”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “Sorry. I’ve just been kind of busy.”

“So…you’re not still mad about the way I acted at dinner?”

“Oh, no. I’m still mad.” Emily admitted. “But not as mad as I was that night. How could you think Aria would hurt you like that?”

“I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I’m human. I do that sometimes.” She smiled half-heartedly. “Look, I shouldn’t have gone off on you for protecting Aria. You were just doing what you always do. Honestly, Em, I don’t think you realize how many times you’ve brought things back together after they’ve fallen apart. Your loyalty is one of the reasons I admire you so much.” She put her hand on Emily’s knee. “That, and you know how to keep me in line when I go off the rails.”

“It’s what I do.” Emily felt her heart pacing in her chest. Alison’s touch did things to her that drove her wild.

“I really am sorry. I have been so caught up in trying to find out what happened to Charlotte,” she sighed. “I just feel like I owe it to her to figure this out.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Emily nodded. “I felt that way about you once upon a time.” She had not been able to let go of Alison, even after the whole world thought she’d been murdered.

“Did you have dreams about me?” Ali’s face was piqued with curiosity.

“All the time.” Emily put her hand on top of Ali’s.

“It helps ease the pain,” Ali said. “I had this amazing dream about Charlotte last night. She wanted me to know she loved me and that she was proud of me.”

“I had a dream like that after my dad’s funeral. I fell asleep on the couch and he woke me up. He was wearing his dress blues and he looked so handsome. He came to say goodbye.”

She’d never told that to anyone before. She’d also never been able to think about that dream without crying before. Every time she was with Alison her pain disappeared.

“You think it was really him?” Ali asked.

“I like to think so,” she said. “I was a mess that night though. It was all such a blur. I don’t remember much of it. Toby said you came by…”

“What?” Ali’s head snapped up. “What did he say?”

“Nothing.” Emily stared at her in confusion. She hadn’t expected that kind of reaction. “Why?”

Ali tensed up and looked away.

“Ali?” Emily questioned in confusion. “What the hell did you two talk about?”

“Look, can we just drop it? It wasn’t my finest moment…”

“No. After everything we’ve been through I think you owe me an explanation.” Emily refused to budge.

Ali started tapping her foot anxiously. Emily didn’t care if she had to wait all day. She had decided she wasn’t leaving the loft until she knew what was going on.

“It was you, okay?” Ali finally stopped fidgeting and turned to face Emily. “We talked about you.”

“So? Why are you acting like such a spaz about it?”

“Because…when I went to your house that night it wasn’t for you.” Her voice cracked. “It was for me. I went there for the wrong reasons…and Toby knew it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s complicated.” Ali lowered her head to try and hide the tears forming in her eyes. “It’s just…after I talked to him…I heard myself, like _really_ heard myself, and I realized that the only reason I was there was to make myself feel better.”

All Emily could do was stare at her in confusion.

“You had been gone for so long,” Ali said softly. “I was lonely and lost...and you’re the only person who knows how to help me find myself,” she sighed. “Your dad had just died and all I was thinking about was how _I_ was feeling. What kind of person does that?” She had a look on her face that was a mixture of regret and disgust. “You were grieving, and I showed up on your front porch because I wanted something for myself. I was selfish. And talking to Toby made me realize that I had no clue who I am when I’m not with you. I knew that until I figured that out…until I could become the person you deserved...I couldn’t tell you.”

“Tell me _what_?”

“That I wanted you to stay. Here. With me.” Alison slowly raised her head. She had a tear rolling down her cheek. “I don’t like who I am when you’re not in my life.”

Emily instinctively reached up and brushed the tear away with her thumb.

“I would have stayed for you.” Emily gently pushed her hand against Alison’s cheek. “Ali, I would do anything for you. You know that.”

“You’re missing the point.” Alison shook her head. “It wasn’t right. _I_ wasn’t right. Not for you. Not then. The Ali that came to your house that night was not the girl you see when you look at me. You deserved better than that person. You deserved better than me.”

“How could you possibly think that?” Emily wanted to call her an idiot, but she was too shocked at this revelation.

“Because even though you have always been sure of who I am, I haven’t.” Alison peered into Emily’s eyes. “I would have hurt you, Em. I would have brought you in like I always do and then pulled away the second it got too real. I was still trying to figure out who I was.”

She turned and moved in closer to Emily. She took Emily’s hands and smiled softly. Emily looked at her and saw something she’d never seen before. There was a vulnerability in her eyes. Emily felt Alison’s hands tighten around hers. Emily’s hands were trembling, but she wasn’t sure if it was Alison shaking or her. Ali was holding on like she was afraid to let go.

“I wasn’t sure of anything then.” She loosened her grip on one of Emily’s hands. “But I’m sure now.” After a second she let go and placed her free hand on Emily’s face.

“Ali...” Her head felt like it was spinning.

“I love you, Emily.” She interrupted her. “I’m in love with you.”

Emily had waited so long to hear the words that this felt like a dream. She opened her mouth to reply, but was too stunned to speak. Then she realized that actions spoke louder than words. They leaned in at the same time and their lips crashed together with a passion Emily hadn’t felt in years. Alison brushed her fingers against Emily’s cheek and traced her jawline until her hand came to rest upon her neck. Emily felt Alison’s other hand slowly moving up her thigh and along her hip. She leaned closer to Alison and trailed a line of kisses along her neck. Alison put her hand on the nape of Emily’s neck and pulled her closer. The heat from Alison’s skin made her shudder.

Her head was screaming at her to stop...to pull away before something happened to her and Alison got hurt. But her heart ignored all logic and reason. It was too late. Alison was already in love with her. Even if she could pull away, she didn’t want to. Being here…with Alison made everything else disappear. Emily let her mind wander…away from California, away from Rosewood, away from all the drama in her life. She let go of everything…everything but Alison. All sense of time ceased to exist. She let herself melt under Alison’s touch. She stayed in her own head…miles away from the reality of life…until her phone interrupted their throes of passion. It was the reminder she’d set for her appointment. Emily sat up.

“Are you not into this?” Ali asked.

“No…no, I’m _totally_ into it.” Emily smiled. She glanced at the clock above the stove. “I just…I really do have to be somewhere.” She looked at Ali. She stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes. She grabbed her purse.

“I didn’t figure you for a hit it and quit it kind of girl.” Ali smirked at her seductively.

She was leaning against her elbow with a mischievous look on her face. It was nearly impossible for Emily to not jump right back into where they’d left off. She pulled Alison off the couch.

“Ohhh, are we going back to the bedroom?” Ali lifted her eyebrows with a grin.

Emily laughed.

“No.” Emily walked with her towards the door. “I am going to run some errands, and you are going to go home…before you get me into any more trouble.” She pulled her in for a hug.

When Alison pulled away she pushed a strand of hair out of Emily’s face and smiled.

“You have such beautiful eyes.”

“You are making it very difficult for me to leave.” Emily reached for the door.

“I know.” Ali laughed. “That was kind of my plan.”

She slipped her hand over Emily’s and they walked out of the loft. When they got outside Emily gently squeezed Alison’s hand.

“I’ll call you later, okay?”

“One more for the road.” Ali leaned forward and planted her lips on Emily’s. Their lips fought for dominance.

Emily felt a strange sensation move through her body when they pulled away from one another. The tips of her fingers started to tingle. At first she thought it was her body reacting to Alison’s touch, but after a few seconds she realized it was something more. She could hear her pulse pounding in her head and she realized what was happening.

_Please, no. She can’t see this happen._

Her vision started to blur. Alison noticed the peculiar look on her face. Emily saw her mouth moving, asking if she was okay, but all she heard was a buzzing sound. She tried to take a breath, but it felt like her chest was frozen. Everything around her started to fade to black. She fought to keep her eyes open. She tried to focus on Alison. She was trying to stay conscious for her sake.

Then she saw the look she’d been dreading. Ali’s expression slowly changed to one of panic. Ali reached out to her, but Emily’s sight faded completely. Her legs went numb and she collapsed on to the ground.

“Emily!” Ali cried.

She fell to the ground next to her and put her hand against Emily’s cheek.

“Em?” She choked out. Emily looked like she was barely breathing. Her lips were starting to turn a weird shade of whitish blue. “Oh, my God.”

Ali’s eyes widened in terror. She fumbled around and reached for her cell phone, but she was so panicked that she couldn’t find it. She looked around frantically, but didn’t see anyone. When she opened up her mouth to cry out for help she felt like she was yelling into a dark abyss. She looked back at Emily and started to sob. She put one hand on Emily’s arm and the other against her face. She pressed her palm against Emily’s cheek, begging for her to wake up. But Emily was completely still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It should be noted that when my best friend got to the end of this chapter she texted me...at two in the morning...telling me that if I didn't send her the next chapter she was going to drive to my house and punch me in the head. 
> 
> I woke up with a major headache. I'm a bad friend.


	11. Stress Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this one is intense. I spent most of the editing process telling myself what a terrible human being I am for writing this.

* * *

 

Hanna was on her way back to the loft when she ran into Spencer, Aria, and Toby. They’d been on their way to the loft to talk to her and Emily about a new development in the hunt for Charlotte’s killer. They heard the cries for help and recognized the voice immediately. Spencer and Toby were the first two to rush towards the sounds of the screams.

When they rounded the corner they saw Alison on her knees next to Emily. Her hands were on Emily’s face. Ali looked up and met their gaze. She looked at them helplessly. She had tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Emily?” Spencer gasped.

“Oh my God!” Aria exclaimed.

“Help! Please…” Ali sounded like a terrified child.

Hanna let out a choked cry. Aria grabbed Hanna’s arm and a quiet squeak came out of her mouth. Spencer started hyperventilating. She automatically reached for Toby’s hand. He closed his warm calloused palm around her trembling hand. They rushed to Emily’s side.

Aria fell to the ground next to Alison. Ali’s whole body shook as she cried. Aria felt her own emotions boiling to the surface. She reached out to Ali to comfort her.

“What happened?” Toby kneeled down across from Alison and started looking Emily over for signs of injuries or trauma.

“I don’t know. She just collapsed.” Alison was crying so hard they could barely understand her.

Hanna stared absentmindedly at her best friend. She felt her pulse quicken. She thought back to the way Emily’s hands had been shaking at breakfast. Had that been something more than nerves? Was it more than just the new medication? Had Emily gotten so used to living with her declining health that she had become numb to the warning signs her body was sending her?

“I don’t understand. We were…she…” Ali put her palm against Emily’s forehead. “…she was fine.”

“No…” Hanna barely recognized her own voice. Was she getting ready to watch Emily die? “…she’s just gotten really good at pretending she is.”

“What do you mean?” Spencer looked at her to elaborate. "Hanna?"

As quickly as she’d gone into shock, Hanna came back to her senses.

“Her bag.” Hanna looked around frantically for Emily’s purse. “Get her bag.” She saw it a few feet away and grabbed it.

“Hanna, what’s going on?” Spencer kneeled next to Toby.

“It’s her heart.” Hanna started digging through Emily’s purse. “Her meds are in here somewhere. Maybe there’s something that will help…”

“Her _heart_?” Alison looked at Hanna with wide eyes. She turned back towards Emily. “Oh, Em…no…” She cupped Emily’s face with her hand and stroked her cheek gently with her thumb. Her skin was cool to the touch.

“What’s wrong with her heart?” Aria put her hand against Emily’s arm.

“I don’t know exactly.” Hanna’s voice was shaking. She tried not to panic. “I barely understand it. She just told me about it. But she’s been sick for a while.”

“What?” Ali whimpered. “Why wouldn’t she tell us?”

Hanna pulled Emily’s pills and a bag with her injectable medications out of her purse.

“She…uh…she took these this morning.” She looked at the bottles and tried to remember which ones and how many Emily had taken.

While Hanna tried to sort through the pills, Toby reached for his walkie-talkie and radioed for an ambulance. He assessed Emily’s condition. Her skin was pale. Her lips and fingernails were turning blue.

“Oh, God, she’s not breathing.” Spencer felt a lump in her throat. Her voice cracked with emotion.

“Em, no…no. Don’t do this.” Aria cried.

“Somebody do something!” Ali sobbed. “Please…”

“This is not happening.” Hanna grabbed Emily’s hand and started weeping. “Em, after everything we’ve been through you don’t get to just…you can’t…not like this.”

“I’ve got an emergency response kit in my cruiser.” Toby stood up and made a beeline for his car.

He was only gone for a minute, but it felt like an eternity to the girls. He came racing back with an emergency kit the size of a small suitcase. He’d never moved so fast in his entire life. He nearly toppled over Spencer as he slid back to the ground and ripped the kit open.

His hands were shaking, but he managed to keep his cool. He’d seen a lot of emergencies over the years, but never one this personal. When he looked at Emily he still saw the kind-hearted kid who hugged him when he broke down on the street after his mom died. In this situation it was hard to separate his emotions from his emergency response training.

He took a shaky breath and tried to let his instincts take over. He started working on Emily. He felt for her pulse, but couldn’t find one. He felt the blood drain from his cheeks. The look on his face terrified the girls.

“Toby?” Spencer looked at him with tears in her eyes.

Toby couldn’t stop to explain anything, but his eyes said it all. They were losing her. He started CPR.

Alison let out a choked sob and tightened her grip on Emily’s hand. Hanna and Aria grabbed one another and held on to each other for support.

“Damn it, Emily…” Toby muttered quietly under his breath.

He’d known something was wrong. He’d seen it in her eyes the night she’d come back in to town. She had looked terrified on the porch that night. She’d had the same expression on her face the night he’d seen her nearly collapse. He knew she was hiding something, but he never would have guessed it was something of this magnitude.

“Come on…” He begged. “Fight back.” He stopped just long enough to glance at Spencer. “Spence, I need you to find a box in that kit labeled BVM. Can you do that?”

Spencer peered back at him, her face stained with tears. She nodded wordlessly. She fumbled around in the kit until she found it.

“Got it,” she was able to squeak out.

Toby had her open the box. Spencer pulled out a face mask and a soft plastic bulb and quickly put it together.

“Come here.” He gently pulled Spencer towards Emily’s head.

He quickly talked her through how to use the ambubag to help Emily breathe and then pulled a small portable defibrillator out of the supply kit. He hooked Emily up to it and explained that it would deliver a shock to her heart and that they needed to make sure they weren’t touching her when that happened. Everyone let go of Emily except for Alison. Her eyes were fixed on Emily’s face.

“Alison…” Aria put her hand on Alison’s arm.

Alison just continued to stare at Emily in shock.

“Ali, you have to let go of her hand.” Toby reached over and gently nudged Ali’s hand.

“I just got her back,” Alison whispered through her tears.

“Hey, look at me, Ali.” Toby’s voice was calm even though he was a complete wreck inside. “I’m not going to let her die.” It was a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep, but he was damn sure going to try his hardest. “I know you’re scared, but right now we have to focus on Emily, okay? You have to let me work on helping her.”

Ali nodded. She heaved out a pained breath and then forced herself to pry her hand away from Emily’s. Aria and Hanna reached for Ali’s hand at the same time. They grabbed on tight to let Alison know that she wasn’t alone. That’s what Emily had always done for them. She was always there…the calm in the center of the storm.

The defibrillator beeped. Ali choked back a cry and turned away. She couldn’t stand to see Emily like this. She felt nauseous. She heard the defibrillator beep again and she jumped, pulling away from Aria and Hanna. She nearly collapsed on to the ground in tears. She put her palms against the ground to keep from falling over completely. She felt someone wrap their arms around her from behind and enclose her in a hug. She twisted around and looked up. It was Aria. Aria, whom she’d stupidly doubted and mistrusted. Aria, whom she’d nearly betrayed…until Emily had stopped her. Aria’s eyes were full of terror and pain, yet she was pushing aside her own emotions to be there for her. Alison buried her head into Aria’s shoulder and cried. She sobbed so hard she couldn’t catch her breath. Aria held her tightly.

“Stay with us, Emily,” Toby said.

The minutes felt like hours, but when the ambulance got there everything became a blur. Time went from standing completely still to moving at a hurried pace. Everything happened so fast that Alison hadn’t fully processed it yet. One minute Emily was right in front of her and then Alison blinked and she was gone. As she’d watched the ambulance taking Emily away all she could see was every time she’d lost her. When they were kids and she pushed her away because she was scared of how much she cared about Emily. When they were teenagers and she lashed out at Emily, because Emily was the safest person she knew. When she’d fled town after someone tried to kill her and she couldn’t come back home, even though all she thought about was Emily. When Emily had nearly succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning after _A_ had caught her in one of her traps. Alison had come out of hiding that day to save her. She didn’t care if it put her at risk. Losing her life was a risk she was willing to take. Losing Emily wasn’t. Having to leave her again after that had been one of the hardest things Alison had ever done.

Letting Emily believe that she was dead was one of the biggest regrets in her life. She’d thought that when she returned home things would get easier, but then she’d fallen back in to old traps. It’s like the universe was punishing her for all her horrible deeds…the universe and Mona Vanderwaal. When Ali had been hauled off to jail because of one of Mona’s stunts she thought things couldn’t get any worse. But then she lost Emily again when Charlotte kidnapped Alison’s friends to get her attention. It was a situation no one thought any of them would survive, yet somehow they did. Alison thought back to every painful situation she’d ever faced, and she realized that there was only one reason she’d survived: Emily Fields. Her instincts had always been to run when things got scary, but with Emily…all she’d ever wanted to do was run _to_ her.

She had never felt connected to anyone the way she felt connected to Emily. She was terrified of losing her. Losing her mother had been devastating. Losing Charlotte had been painful. But losing Emily would shatter her entire world.

Alison stared at the empty street where the ambulance had just been a few seconds ago. She was completely oblivious to the other girls behind her. Toby was comforting Spencer. Aria was on the phone with Ezra. Hanna had just gotten off the phone with Caleb. She walked over to Alison.

“Hey, she’s a fighter,” Hanna said, her voice still trembling. She rubbed Alison’s arm. “Come on, Toby is taking us to the hospital.”

They were all much too shaken to drive, so Toby had insisted that he take them to the emergency room. He knew that they wanted to be by Emily’s side. The paramedics had practically had to pull them away from her.

Toby turned the siren on and got them there in record time. No one could give them a straight answer about what was going on, so all they could do was wait and worry. After a while Spencer got antsy. She kept looking at the clock every five minutes and huffing out irritated grunts.

“This is ridiculous. Someone has to know something.” She pushed herself to her feet and started walking away.

“Spencer…what are you doing?” Toby stood up.

“I’m going to get some answers.” She marched off towards the admittance desk.

“She’s about two seconds away from strangling someone with a phone cord. We should probably stop her.” Aria followed her. Hanna and Toby were right behind Aria.

Spencer demanded an update on Emily’s condition, but the receptionist said she was busy and waved her off. When the girl turned around she started playing with her phone. Spencer all but lunged over the counter at her. Toby had to pull her back and rein her in. He told them to go to sit down and he would see what he and his badge could find out. He knew that sometimes people were more willing to talk to people in uniform. Plus he could turn on the charm like no other. A few minutes after the receptionist had dismissed the girls she was chatting with Toby with a huge flirtatious smile on her face. Spencer stood across the room glaring daggers at her.

“I want to grab that stupid ratty ponytail of hers and yank it really hard,” Spencer muttered.

“I’ll hold her down. You pull,” Aria suggested.

They tried to move a little closer to listen in on the conversation.

“What are they saying? I can’t hear them.” Hanna rubbed her hands together anxiously. Toby turned around. “Oh, wait, here he comes.”

Toby said goodbye to the girl behind the desk and walked around the corner to meet the girls.

“What happened? What did they say?” Spencer asked.

“She’s not completely out of the woods yet, but she’s alive,” Toby said quietly.

“What does that mean? Is she going to be okay?” Hanna questioned.

“She’s stabilized. They’ve got to run some tests before they can determine what to do next.”

There was a collective sigh of relief. Emily was alive. Whatever happened next, at least they could all face it with her. Toby let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his face with his hand. He finally dropped the brave exterior he’d been wearing since they’d found Alison and Emily. Spencer noticed the pensive look on his face and she realized that not only had Toby had to deal with everything going on with Emily, he’d also had to contend with trying to keep all of them from falling apart.

“Hey, are you okay?” She put her hand on his arm.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “We’re lucky we were already on our way to the loft. I just keep thinking…if it had been any longer…”

“Don’t go there.” Spencer interrupted him.

“I should have known. She was off. I knew she was off. I knew she was hiding something,” he sighed. “I just wish she would have told us.”

“Maybe she didn’t think it was this serious,” Aria said.

“No.” Hanna glanced at the ground. “She knew how bad it was. That’s exactly why she didn’t tell us. She didn’t want us to have to deal with it.”

“Okay, well, that’s insane.” Spencer frowned.

“That’s Emily.” Toby corrected her. “If she feels like there is even a slight chance someone is going to get hurt she’s going to do everything in her power to keep that from happening.”

“But she’s the one hurt!” Spencer exclaimed. “God, she’s so stubborn.”

“Yeah, I tried telling her that this morning,” Hanna said. “She just rolled her eyes at me.”

A call came in over Toby’s radio.

“I’ve got to make a quick phone call to the station,” he said. “Let me know if there are any updates. Um, and let Ali know, okay?” He walked towards the exit. His squad car was parked right outside the door.

“Should we call Emily’s mom?” Aria asked.

“No.” Hanna shook her head. “She’ll kill us if we do.”

“Hanna, she almost died.” Spencer gaped at her in surprise.

“Trust me, she doesn’t want her mom to know.” Hanna glanced at her phone. She was waiting on a text from Caleb. “I mean, the only reason I know is because I saw her giving herself a shot. I don’t think she planned on telling any of us, especially her mother. This morning she was freaking out about a text that _A_ sent threatening to tell her mom.”

“Wait, _A_ knows?” Aria gawked. “What am I saying? Of course _A_ knows.” She looked around the waiting room nervously. “Guys, is Emily safe here?”

“It can’t get any worse than her heart actually stopping,” Hanna said. “I don’t think there is anything that _A_ can do to her that’s worse than death.”

“We should tell Ali,” Aria said.

“Are you kidding? She’s a complete wreck. If we add the _A_ mess on to what’s going on with Emily she’ll probably end up in a mental ward.” Spencer scoffed.

Alison hadn’t said a word since Emily had been loaded into the ambulance. When they’d gotten to the ER, she’d broken away from the other girls and started pacing in the busy waiting area.

“I meant tell her about Emily.” Aria clarified. She glanced towards the waiting room, but didn’t see her. “Wait, where is Ali?”

They had been so wrapped up in their own emotions that they hadn’t seen Alison slip out of the waiting room shortly after they’d sat down. They fanned out to look for her, hoping that the news about Emily would bring her some relief.

Though the girls were looking for her, Toby was the one who found her. He was walking back in from the parking lot. He walked through the automatic doors and was getting ready to turn down the hallway towards the waiting room when he saw her sitting in a corner with her knees drawn up to her chest. She had her arms wrapped around her legs. Her tear-stained face gleamed in the fluorescent light.

“Alison?” Toby asked. He walked over to her. “You okay?”

She looked up at him. She wiped her tears off of her face and sighed.

“I told her I loved her,” she said. Her voice was quiet and meek. “I finally…I finally felt like everything was…” she looked away in thought, “…I shouldn’t have let go of her hand.”

“What?”

“I should have held on and never let go. What if that was the last time I’ll ever…” She trailed off to keep from crying. “What if I never get to hold her again?”

“Wait, didn’t the girls tell you?” Toby finally realized that Alison didn’t know that Emily was going to live.

“I haven’t seen them.”

“Emily’s alive. They stabilized her and they're running some tests.”

Hearing that brought Alison back to life. Her eyes lit up and a hopeful expression washed across her face.

“Is she awake?” Alison scrambled to her feet. “Can we see her?”

“I was on my way back in to find out.” Toby glanced towards the waiting room.

Ali practically ran down the hallway. Toby followed her. When they got back to the waiting room they looked around for Aria, Spencer, and Hanna, but didn’t see them. Toby walked towards the front desk, but before he got there a young guy in scrubs walked into his path.

“Excuse me, are you the officer that came in with Emily Fields?” He asked.

“Yes, sir.” Toby nodded.

“How is she?” Alison blurted out.

“She’s stable.” The doctor gave Alison a sympathetic smile. “We think her arrhythmia is what caused the cardiac arrest, but we’re waiting on the labs to confirm it. We’re monitoring her while we wait for the results of her work-up. She’s not awake yet, but her vital signs are improving.”

“Can we see her?” Ali asked.

The doctor looked at them with a soft expression on his face.

“Generally, we only let family visit…”

“She’s family.” Toby interrupted the doctor. He knew the doctor wouldn’t question a man with a badge. Alison gave Toby an appreciative look.

“Okay. I can take you to her room to wait with her if you’d like.”

Alison didn’t have to be asked twice. She would have led the way had she known where she was going. The doctor paused when they reached her room. Alison walked in, but Toby glanced at the doctor.

“How bad is it?” He asked quietly so Alison wouldn’t overhear.

“Well, normally we would implant a device in her chest that would reduce the chances of this happening again. But with her medical history I don’t think she’s a good candidate for that. It would just be a temporary fix. I can’t say for certain what the best course of treatment is until I review her labs.”

“Thank you,” Toby replied.

He walked into the room with Alison. She was standing next to Emily’s bed. She had her hand on Emily’s arm. The heart monitor was beeping at a steady rhythm. She had a tube hooked to her nose giving her oxygen and an IV pumping some kind of fluid into her arm. Otherwise, she still looked like Emily. Toby watched as Alison mindlessly brushed her fingers against Emily’s arm. She had a mixture of relief and fear on her face. She looked up at Toby and he smiled at her.

“I’m going to go find Spencer, Hanna, and Aria,” Toby said.

“Toby, wait…” Ali softly called after him.

He turned around.

“You saved her life out there,” she said. “I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.” She got choked up. “You really came through for all of us.” She smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, trying to absorb the fact that Alison DiLaurentis was being genuine for once. He started to walk out again, but stopped once he reached the door. He glanced back at Ali. “You know, we’ve had our differences, but I know you’re not a bad person. Emily sees something in you, and she’s usually pretty good at finding the best part of someone. I’m glad you finally realized who you really are.”

“Thank you…” Ali smiled weakly at Toby, “…for everything...for looking out for her when I was only looking out for myself. And for not telling her about what I said that night. I needed to work through it in my own way.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” He glanced at Emily and then back at Ali. “I meant what I said. Don’t hurt her.”

“I won’t.” She reached up and brushed her fingers against Emily’s cheek.

She thought back to the night Toby had confronted her about the way she treated Emily. They had said a lot of things to each other that night…and she remembered every bit of it, but the thing that stood out to her the most is how Toby had been able to see right through her.

She hadn’t expected to find Toby on Emily’s porch. She remembered the way he’d stared at her as she walked up the driveway. She’d always felt like Toby had never forgiven her for blackmailing him into taking the blame for blinding his stepsister, but that night she realized that it wasn’t that he hadn’t forgiven her for what she’d done to him…he hadn’t forgiven her for what she put Emily and the other girls through.

Toby had watched Alison jerk Emily around ever since they were teenagers. He knew how Emily felt about Alison. He’d seen the fallout of how Emily’s heart would break every time Ali weaseled her way into Emily’s life. So when Alison had shown up on Emily’s doorstep that night he’d become an overprotective older brother.

She’d walked up to the porch, approaching him in a tentative manner and simply muttered,

_“Hey.”_

He had tipped his beer and nodded his head to acknowledge her. The silence was louder than anything the two of them could have possibly said to one another. She’d looked at the house and after a few minutes she’d cleared her throat and asked,

_“Is Emily…”_

_“Not home yet. Service won’t be over for another hour.”_ He’d glanced at his watch.

_“You mind if I wait with you?”_

_“It’s a free country.”_

They had spent quite a bit of time sitting there in awkward silence. She’d tried making small talk with him, asking him about school and how work was going. He’d kept his answers short and sweet. After a while, he had turned to her and frowned.

_“What are you doing here, Ali?”_

_“What do you mean? I came for her.”_

_“Really?”_ He’d glanced at her skeptically.

_“Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?”_

_“Because I know you. And I see that look you get in your eyes when you want something, especially when it comes to Emily.”_

_“I’m not that person anymore. I’ve changed.”_

_“I know you have.”_ And he’d sounded sincere. _“But Emily’s feelings for you haven’t. When it comes to you, she has a weak spot. Whenever she looks you in the eye and you look back...she would do anything you want, and I’ve seen her get hurt because of it.”_

_“I never intended for her to get hurt.”_

_“You never do, Alison.”_ He’d sighed. _“Look, I don’t know what you’ve got going on in your life right now. And I’m sorry if you’re going through a rough time. I really am. But what Emily is going through right now takes precedence over whatever drama you’ve got going on with you or your sister…or whoever you’ve pissed off this week.”_

_“I know exactly what she’s going through. I went through it when I lost my mother.”_

Toby’s face had softened when she’d mentioned the loss of her mother. He’d been through it after his mother died, too. Losing a parent was a lot like losing a huge part of yourself. It was a pain that never went away. It just lessened over time.

 _“Emily was there for me after my mom died. I didn’t even have to ask her. She was just there.”_ Ali had glanced at the ground. _“She was always there. She was my lifeline for so long. It’s been a bit of a struggle without her around. I don’t really know how to deal without her.”_

Toby had taken a sip of his beer and then looked at her.

_“Do you love her?”_

_“What?”_ It had caught her off-guard.

_“Emily. Do you love her?”_

_“What kind of question is that?”_

_“She loves you.”_ He’d shrugged.

 _“I know that. I’ve always known that. What, are we recapping our old high school trysts? You want me to analyze you and Spencer while we’re at it?”_ She’d snapped.

He hadn’t bitten back in anger like she thought he would. Instead he had just looked at her with a sad expression.

_“You find it hard to be honest with yourself, don’t you? I guess you don’t have a lot of practice with that.”_

_“Not really.”_ She’d sighed. _“People don’t like the truth. The truth is slippery. You can’t depend on it.”_

 _“That may be true.”_ He’d faced her with an intense gaze. _“But what good has lying ever done? At some point you have to learn to trust yourself.”_

_“I…I don’t know if I can.”_

_“Try to picture what Emily sees.”_

_“I know how I feel when she looks at me. I’ve never felt that with anyone before.”_ A look of realization washed across her face. _“It’s like she sees who I really am.”_ She bit her lip. _“I look at her…I see her eyes…and I want to be worth the effort. I want to be that person she sees…the person she deserves. I want her to know that she is the reason I want to be a better person. I’ve just never been able to tell her in the right way.”_

 _“Well, Alison, when you do…”_ He’d stared at her with his piercing eyes. _“…don’t hurt her. If you do you’ll have to deal with me.”_

Shortly after that conversation, Alison had realized she was there for herself more than she was there for Emily, and that wasn’t fair to Emily. She knew that she had to deal with her emotions before she stirred up Emily’s life.

The steady rhythm of the heart monitor drew Alison back into reality. She looked at the love of her life. If she had known then what she knew now she wouldn’t have waited another second to tell Emily how much she loved her. She squeezed Emily’s hand.

“Look, Em…when you left after graduation I felt…I don’t know…” She tried to think of the right word to describe it. “There were so many nights I thought about calling you and begging you to come home. I knew that if I asked you to come back you would…because that’s who you are. You’re Emily. You’ve always been…you. You’re the only person in my life who has never lied to me about who you are. You loved me even when I didn’t love myself. That means something to me. It means everything… _you_ mean everything to me. I should have said something sooner. I’m sorry that I didn’t.” Her voice was shaking. “I think it took me losing you to understand just how much I need you. Everything I’ve been through in my life…the hardest thing I’ve ever faced was the five years you were gone.” Ali choked back tears. “I never want to lose you again. I want you to know that whatever happens…whatever you go through, I’m here…I’m right here with you.”

Ali felt Emily’s hand tighten around hers. She put her other hand on Emily’s face.

“Emily?”

“Alison?” Emily muttered in her sleep.

For a moment, Ali thought Emily was going to open her eyes, but instead she shifted her body towards Alison’s touch. Ali leaned over and delicately kissed Emily’s forehead. She pulled up a chair and patiently waited for her to wake up.


	12. Full Disclosure

_“You’re Emily. You’ve always been…you.”_

She could hear Alison’s voice gently calling out to her. It was like a beacon guiding her in the dark. As lost as she felt, she knew without a doubt that she would find her way back to Ali.

_“You loved me even when I didn’t love myself. That means something to me. It means everything. You mean everything…”_

Emily focused on the sound of Ali’s voice. It was the only thing keeping her from completely fading away. She was tired and her brain was trying to completely shut down, but Emily was fighting it.

_“I never want to lose you again.”_

Alison’s voice was trembling, and all Emily could think about was getting back to her and letting her know that everything was going to be okay.

_“I want you to know that whatever happens, I’m here. I’m right here with you.”_

“Alison…” Emily looked around in the darkness. She couldn’t see her, but she knew she was there.

She pushed herself as hard as she could, but it was too much. She lost her grip on reality and fell back into the darkness. For a while, everything around her was silent. The darkness reminded her a lot of being held captive in the dollhouse. She started having flashes to the mental torture she’d been put through. She had to talk herself down from it, reminding herself that they had made it out. They had escaped. Life had gone on after the dollhouse. She’d had a life in California. She was back in Rosewood. She was with Alison. She tried to focus on the good, but the darkness started to become overwhelming. What’s worse was the complete silence surrounding her. All she wanted to do was wake up.

Just when she thought she might go crazy from the quiet, a soft pulsing beeping noise filled the air. At first she thought the noise was her alarm waking her from a bad dream. She tried to reach out to swat at the snooze button, but her arms felt too heavy to lift. She took an annoyed breath and her chest burned in pain. Slowly, her senses started coming back to her. Her whole body ached and her throat felt like it was on fire. The beeping noise sped up ever so slightly. When she opened her eyes her vision was spotted and blurry for a few seconds. She looked to her left, towards the sound of the incessant chirping. When her vision came into focus she saw several machines taking a bunch of different readings from heart.

She felt something warm on her right hand. She glanced to her right and saw Alison curled up in a chair next to her bed. She was sound asleep, but her hand was tightly gripping hers. Ali’s fingers were curled into Emily’s palm. She stirred in her sleep and her thumb gently grazed Emily’s knuckles. Emily stared at Alison for a few seconds, then she looked around the hospital room. When had she gotten here? The last thing she remembered was feeling one of her fainting spells coming on. At least, that’s what she thought it was. It took her a few minutes to realize that she hadn’t just fainted. Her chest felt like it was one giant bruise and her ribs were killing her. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer and given her a few good whacks with it. She glanced at the heart monitor again and the realization hit her. Had her heart stopped?

She looked at Alison. Even though her eyes were closed Emily could see how weary she looked. There were lines of faded mascara all over her cheeks from where she’d been crying. Suddenly, Emily remembered seeing a glimpse of Alison’s face before she’d lost consciousness. Her expression had been one of pure terror. Emily’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t imagine what Alison had gone through. She hadn’t meant for her to find out, not like that. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was cause her any pain.

“Oh, Ali…” she whispered, “…I’m so sorry.”

Alison’s eyes shot open when she heard Emily’s voice. Emily looked at her in shock, surprised that Ali had been able to hear her. Ali’s wide blue eyes stared at her, unblinking, afraid that this was a dream.

“Alison, are you okay?” Emily finally broke the silence. Her throat burned when she spoke.

“Am _I_ okay?” Alison was so surprised she huffed out a nervous laugh. “Are you kidding me? I’m not the one hooked up to machines like a ninth grade science experiment.”

“It’s not the first time.” Emily replied. “And it probably won’t be the last either.”

“God, Em, I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was for you to find out like this.”

“You should have told me.” She squeezed Emily’s hand.

“Telling you wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Translation: Emily was trying to protect her. Her instincts hadn’t changed one bit over the years. It was very sweet, but it was also very dumb.

“You always were better at taking care of everyone but yourself,” Ali heaved out an exasperated breath. “I could have done something. I could have been there for you.” She wanted to tack a ‘you idiot’ on the end of her statement, but she was just so happy Emily was alive she let it go.

“I was 3000 miles away. The only thing it would have done was stress you out. And that would have stressed me out.” Emily reached over and nervously scratched her arm with her thumbnail.

“How long have you been dealing with this?”

Emily knew that Ali deserved answers, but it wasn’t easy giving them to her. She didn’t feel right pulling her into this. She looked at Ali and she realized that she wasn’t going to let up.

“How long have you known?” Ali repeated her question.

“A little over six months.”

Ali pushed her lips together. Her face tightened in thought. She swallowed a knot in her throat. Emily had a feeling she knew what the next question was going to be.

“Are…” She stuttered. She had to pause to gather her emotions, “…are you dying?”

“No.” Emily twisted her hand up and pushed her fingers in between Ali’s fingers. “Not today.” She pulled Ali’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

“Straight up, Em, how bad is it?” Ali’s voice was shaking.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be running any marathons any time soon,” she spouted sarcastically.

“Emily…” Ali bit her lip and turned away to keep from crying.

“I’m sorry. It’s how I deal,” she replied. “Sarcasm is my brain’s self-defense mechanism. My heart is the thing that’s broken, not my sense of humor.”

Alison rolled her eyes. Her phone beeped and she looked at it.

“It’s Spencer. She had to make a few work calls, but she’s on her way back up.” Ali picked her phone up.

“Spencer knows?” Emily grimaced.

“And Aria and Hanna. They were there when it happened.” Alison said as she wrote a text. She looked up. “Toby, too. If he hadn’t had an emergency response kit in his car we might not be having this conversation.”

Great. So not only had Alison been traumatized, but almost everyone she loved had been subjected to whatever emotional damage she’d caused today. So much for trying to keep them out of it. She felt like a jerk.

“Everyone must be so freaked out.” Emily sighed in frustration.

She looked at Ali and saw a hint of a smile on her face for the first time.

“What?” Emily asked. “What happened?”

“You turned Spencer into a raging lunatic. She ripped into the girl at the front desk.” She chuckled. “She went old-school Hastings on her. I thought she was going to bust some street-fighter moves out on her. Toby practically had to talk her down with a bullhorn.”

“Oh, good God.” Emily shook her head with a laugh.

“It was nice not to be on the receiving end of it for once.” Ali shrugged. “We don’t agree on much, but she steps up when no one else will. She knows how to get results, and I respect that. All it took was for us to stop sniping at one another for me to remember that. We haven’t gotten along this well since…” she paused in thought, “…well, ever.”

“I guess maybe I should almost die more often.”

“Don’t you dare.” Ali scowled.

Ali’s phone chimed again.

“Hanna and Aria are on their way, too. I told them you were awake.” She read her text. “Hanna’s mad that she wasn’t here for you when you woke up. They went to grab some coffee after I fell asleep.”

“How long have you guys been here?”

Alison glanced at the clock on the wall.

“Uh, about seven hours.” She wiped some sleep from her eyes.

“Seven hours of watching me drool? No wonder you were asleep when I woke up.”

“You talked more than you drooled.”

“Oh? Did I spill all my secrets?”

“You mean there’s more than the obvious?” Ali motioned towards the heart monitor.

“No, that’s pretty much the lead story,” Emily said.

“I can’t believe you were able to keep this a secret for so long. You’ve always been a lousy liar.”

“No kidding. I’d barely been back here a week before both Hanna and Elliott figured it out.”

Ali’s face twisted into a shocked expression.

“Elliott… _knew_?”

“He ran into me at the pharmacy. I dropped my meds. I just assumed with him being a doctor and all…”

“I am going to kill him for not telling me.” Ali ground her teeth together.

“I asked him not to.”

“Well, now I want to threaten to kill you, but I feel bad considering…”

Emily laughed and it sent a dull ache through her body. She tried to sit up. Her ribs throbbed uncomfortably. She tried not to let her discomfort show, but Alison noticed it immediately.

“You want me to get the doctor?”

“No. It’s fine,” Emily assured her.

Alison glared at her like she didn’t believe her.

“I’m just a little sore,” Emily said. She readjusted her sitting position to get more comfortable. “So, what was I talking about in my sleep?”

“Buried treasure,” Ali retorted.

That made Emily laugh. Ali was bantering with her, which was exactly what she needed.

“If that’s the case I hope you drew a map, because living is a lot more expensive than dying.” She glanced at the IV in her arm. “An aspirin here is like $400. And they’re probably going to charge you rent for being here.”

“Worth it.” Ali shrugged. “Hearing you mutter my name over and over again while you were unconscious was priceless.”

“What?” Emily looked at her in confusion. “What exactly did I say?”

Ali pressed her lips together and grinned so hard Emily could see her dimples.

“Let’s just say the buried treasure you were looking for was not the kind of booty pirates are usually talking about.”

Emily snorted out another laugh. Ali rubbed her hand against Emily’s arm and leaned in close to her.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you smile.” Ali gently squeezed her arm. “I was so sure I was never going to see you again.” She swallowed hard. “After you collapsed and they took you away all I could think about was how alone I felt, and I started to think about every single time I bolted from you when we were kids. I never fully realized how you must have felt when I left you alone. It was terrible. I don’t ever want to feel like that again, and I never want you to feel that way either.” She glanced away. “I don’t know how much you heard when you were unconscious…”

“I heard every word,” Emily said. “Why do you think I was calling out to you?” She leaned forward and delicately placed a kiss on Ali’s lips.

One of the machines hooked up to Emily changed rhythms and Alison almost leaped out of her chair. She looked down at Emily, expecting her to crash again. She relaxed when she noticed Emily was okay. After a few seconds the monitor went back to normal.

“Relax,” Emily said with a smile. She adjusted a clip on her finger. “The sensor just slipped.”

“Well, can you blame me for being nervous? Look at our track record. I mean, I tell you I love you and you almost died. Our timing couldn’t be worse if we tried.”

As if the universe had heard them, the quiet room suddenly became a flurry of activity when Aria, Spencer, and Hanna came barreling in and interrupted them.

“Em, hey…” Spencer was the first one through the door. Hanna and Aria were right behind her. They all looked as rattled as Ali.

“Hey,” Emily said meekly.

“God, you scared the hell out of us.” Spencer breathed a sigh of relief. “I should be furious at you, but I’m just so glad you’re alive.”

“Speak for yourself.” Hanna disagreed. “I’m gonna strangle you.” She glared at Emily.

“Take a number.” Ali scoffed.

“Maybe let’s wait until she’s not in a hospital bed before we threaten violence.” Aria scolded Ali and Hanna. “How are you feeling?” She walked up next to the bed.

“Emotionally or physically?” Emily mumbled. “Honestly, I think knowing what I put you through is worse than any physical discomfort I’ve ever had.” She sighed. “You guys, I’m so sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Aria asked.

Emily paused thoughtfully. Hanna and Ali had asked her the same thing. Everyone she knew was bound to ask it. Despite the popularity of the question, she didn’t have a simple answer for them. It wasn’t something she could really put into words. She didn’t know how to explain the range of emotions she’d gone through after she’d found out. Her initial reaction had been to push it out of her mind. She thought if she pushed hard enough for her life to be normal again, everything would be okay. She held on to the dreamer’s hope that no matter how dark it might look, it wasn’t as bad as she thought.

When the severity of the situation finally hit her, she had come undone. She was already a mess over losing her father, so her diagnosis had pushed her over the edge. Her instincts were to put up walls and pull away from the people she loved. It was hard enough admitting it to herself. She was working through so many thoughts and feelings, and she knew she wasn’t ready to pile anyone else’s grief on top of her own. So she internalized everything.

“The last couple of months have just been harder than I made them sound.” She picked at her thumbnail. “Do you remember that year after Ali disappeared? We all just kind of drifted?”

Ali looked away. Faking her death was not one of her favorite memories. The girls all shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I was just kind of…lost in my own world. Nothing in life made much sense anymore. The world just didn’t feel real. I felt like I was just sleepwalking through it all.”

The looks on their faces let Emily know she’d hit a nerve. They might not have gone through that part of their lives together, but they clearly went through the same emotions.

“After we reconnected it took us a while to get back to that place where everything felt normal again. We went through so much that I thought there was nothing I couldn’t share with you. But then my dad died and I started to drift again. I was going through a bunch of things I never thought I’d feel again. And when I found out about my heart I just…disappeared within myself.” Her eyes burned with tears. “I didn’t know how to deal with it myself, much less know how to tell anyone else about it. I did think about telling you. I swear I did. I wanted to reach out to you all, but…you were all so happy. I didn’t want to drag you down. I just wanted you guys to be able to live your lives. I thought it was something I could just live with on my own. I didn’t know it was going to turn into all this.” She motioned around the hospital room. “I thought I could make the trip to Rosewood and back without it coming up.” She frowned. “Wishful thinking on my part.” She shook her head. “I royally screwed everything up.”

She looked at her friends with an apologetic expression on her face. She saw a mixture of confusion and sympathy on their faces. They all looked at one another, unsure of how to respond. It was Aria who stepped forward and spoke first.

“Em, you can always come to us,” she said as she sat down on the edge of Emily’s bed. “Always.”

“Yeah, we’re not in high school. You don’t have to protect us anymore. You don’t have to handle anything on your own,” Spencer added. “We can help you. You just have to let us in. So, what is it? What’s going on?”

Emily glanced at the heart monitor and then looked back at her friends.

“Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia,” she said. “It’s genetic. It’s a fancy way of saying my heart aims about as well as a drunk frat boy using the toilet. It’s all screwy and misfires. Normally, they’d place a device to correct it, but I wasn’t a candidate for it. My cardiologist is more concerned about the damage I have in my right ventricle. It’s more or less turned into cottage cheese at this point. I’ve got a bunch of tissue damage and muscle involvement.”

She saw Ali cringe and bite her lip. Aria’s expression softened. Hanna and Spencer looked at one another and fought back their emotions.

“It’s put some strain on my left ventricle, and there’s already some damage to the lining and tissue. It’s not outright failing, but it’s causing some problems…”

“Clearly.” Hanna snorted sarcastically.

“The medications I’ve been taking are for the arrhythmia and cardiomyopathy, and the injections I’m on are this experimental treatment that is supposed to help strengthen my heart muscles and stimulate healthy tissue growth. I just started the treatment before I came back to Rosewood. It had a high success rate in the clinical trials.”

“If it’s so successful then why are you breathing through a tube in your nose right now?” Hanna frowned.

“It takes time to see if it’s going to work.”

“And if it doesn’t work?” Spencer’s voice sounded strained.

“Worst case scenario, if things get bad enough they’ll stick me on a transplant list. Surgery is usually the last option. They don’t do something that invasive unless all other treatment options have failed. Right now my condition doesn’t meet the criteria for a new heart.”

“Your heart stopped. How does that not put you at the top of whatever list you need to be on?” Hanna asked.

“It’s not that cut and dry…”

“Why? What are the doctors waiting for?” Hanna folded her arms in front of her chest defiantly.

“Hanna…” Aria glanced at her. She was a split second away from telling Hanna to shut up. She was worried about stressing Emily out. Normally, Emily was the one who talked them down from their freak outs. Aria didn’t realize how exhausting it was. She had a new appreciation for Emily’s serene attitude. “I think the doctors know what they’re doing.” She gave Hanna a warning look.

Hanna opened her mouth to reply, probably to call the doctors incompetent dumbasses, but before she had a chance a young man in scrubs walked into the room. He was very happy to see Emily awake. Spencer, Hanna, and Aria practically bombarded him with questions, but Alison was strangely quiet. Emily peered at her curiously. She couldn’t tell if Ali was just exhausted, worried, or if it was something more.

The doctor was courteous, but after playing a game of twenty questions he politely told the girls that visiting hours were over and that Emily needed her rest. They reluctantly did what they were told, though they weren’t happy about leaving Emily. Ali was the last to leave. After all the other girls had gone, she faced Emily.

“Maybe I can hide in the bathroom until it’s all clear and then sneak under the covers with you when no one is looking,” Ali suggested.

Emily looked at her with a smile that clearly said she thought Ali was being crazy. Then she took Ali’s hand.

“You heard what the doctor said. They’re going to adjust my meds and I should be able to go home in a day or two. Go home. Get some rest.” She reached up and rubbed some of the mascara off of Ali’s cheek. “Wash this pretty face of yours.”

Ali smiled and then nodded. She gently cupped Emily’s face and pressed her lips against Emily’s. Emily closed her eyes. Ali’s touch sent waves of pleasure through her body. Every ache and pain went away when she kissed her. When Ali pulled away they exchanged a loving glance.

“Call me if you need anything.” Ali leaned forward once more and kissed the top of Emily’s head.

Emily hated to see her go, but she knew that Alison needed her rest, too. She hadn’t forgotten that Ali was still dealing with the loss of her sister. She thought about everything they had been through in the past week. The past few days had felt like they had lasted a lifetime. They had danced around their feelings for one another for so long that it felt good to finally be in a place where they were both certain of where they stood. Ali was right. The timing sucked. But at least they had each other.

She was too wired to sleep. She was afraid that if she closed her eyes she wouldn’t open them back up again. After a while, a nurse came in to give her a sedative. When she finally did fall asleep she had weird dreams about being in that dark place again. It was empty and lonely and she felt like someone was watching her from the shadows. She looked around, trying to make out what she thought was a person staring at her. All she could see was the reflection in the cold eyes staring back at her. The figure moved towards her and she jumped, and suddenly…she was back in her hospital room. She saw someone standing in her doorway, those same cold eyes she’d seen in the dream staring back at her. After a few seconds whoever it was walked away. Emily looked around the room trying to figure out if she was still dreaming. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched. Then she told herself she was being ridiculous. Of course she was being watched. She had a whole medical team monitoring her. She relaxed and went back to sleep.

When she woke up the next morning there was an entirely different set of eyes staring at her. She looked up and saw Hanna sitting in a chair with her feet propped up. She was reading a magazine. She looked at Emily and pursed her lips. After a few seconds she blew out a breath.

“You’re an idiot.” Hanna frowned.

“Good morning to you, too, sunshine. What have I done to offend your great ancestors?” Emily asked in confusion.

Hanna tossed the magazine on a tray to her right and then put her feet down.

“When you told me about your heart you failed to mention you might suddenly drop dead.” Hanna’s face was a mixture of aggravation and worry.

She was actually relieved that Hanna was bitching at her. She preferred the screaming and yelling. It was better than everyone feeling sorry for her. She had always been able to rely on her best friend to drop the cold hard truth on her, no matter what the situation was.

“Hanna, I swear I didn’t know this was going to happen. I didn’t feel any different yesterday than I have in the past six months.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Hanna questioned. “If you’ve had this brewing for six months and you’ve gotten so used to it that something like this is just normal for you, then how bad is this _really_? You told me you knew how serious it was. But I don’t know that you do. You put on this front and I totally bought it. I kept my mouth shut about it, and it nearly cost you your life. Do you have any idea what it felt like to see you lying there dying and wondering if I could have done something to prevent it?”

“There’s nothing you could have done, Han.” She reached out and put her hand on Hanna’s arm to comfort her. “It’s called Sudden Cardiac Arrest for a reason. This isn’t on you, okay? Nothing you know could have stopped it from happening. I know it’s terrifying not being able to do anything, but unfortunately that’s part of this. Heart problems are unpredictable. You and I and Ali…and everyone else can sit around and theorize about how we can fix this, but at the end of the day all we can do is just live our lives and hope for the best. There’s no point in spending every waking moment thinking about what _could_ go wrong.”

Hanna huffed out a breath through her nose and looked at her best friend…someone she considered her sister. The anger was gone now. Her expression was one of pure concern.

“I’m scared, Em.”

“I know.” Emily nodded in understanding. “So am I.” She admitted. “But we’ll get through this. We always find a way to survive.”

Hanna nodded, her mind a little more at ease now that she’d gotten her emotions off of her chest. Emily kept the mood light by asking Hanna to talk about how the wedding plans were shaping up. Hanna lit up every time she talked about walking down the aisle and into Caleb’s arms. They were in the middle of talking about what the first dance should be when Spencer and Toby dropped in. Emily had a sense of de ja vu seeing them walk in together. Not that she hadn’t seen them together since the break up, but something between them seemed different today. Their body language was telling an interesting story. Spencer had a calm air about her. Toby seemed really relaxed as well. He was in his civilian clothes. Toby strode right over to Emily and embraced her in a hug, careful not to squeeze her too tight.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He pulled away.

“I hear you saved my life.” Emily smiled.

“Couldn’t let my favorite drinking buddy die.” Toby smiled back.

“Yeah, well I owe you a lot more than a six pack and some slim jims for this one.” Emily laughed.

“Ah, Em, you don’t owe me anything.” He shrugged. He had a modest look on his face. “Just...don’t do it again, okay?”

“Okay.” Emily nodded with a quiet chuckle.

Emily’s phone chimed. Toby reached over and grabbed it and handed it to her. It was a text from Ali letting Emily know that she was on her way and she wanted to know if Emily needed anything. Emily told her all she needed was to see her smiling face. She felt blood rush to her cheeks as she hit “send”. It made her feel good to know that after all these years, Alison could still make her feel like a little kid in love. When she put the phone down she saw that Toby was looking at her with a smile on his face. He looked happy for her.

Toby offered to get breakfast and the girls jumped at the offer. He took their orders and then made a crack about finding the best chef in the hospital cafeteria and then asked them which vending machines made the best meals before walking out of the room.

Hanna’s phone alerted her to a text. She glanced at it. Emily saw something weird register on her face.

“What is it?” Emily questioned. “Is it from…”

“No.” Hanna shook her head. “It’s Caleb.” She quickly typed a response and then looked at Spencer. They shared a look that Emily didn’t quite understand.

“What was that look?” Emily peered at them suspiciously.

“It’s nothing,” Spencer insisted.

“It’s clearly something.” Emily disagreed. Neither one of them had a decent poker face.

Spencer and Hanna looked at each other again. Hanna gave Spencer a look that clearly said she was annoyed and then she glanced at Emily. Spencer shook her head and Hanna shrugged indifferently.

“Guys?” Emily asked.

“Toby told us that the police found new evidence in Charlotte’s murder.” Hanna blurted out.

“Hanna!” Spencer turned to her and frowned at her in disapproval.

“What? I’m sick of keeping secrets.” Hanna grumbled.

“What evidence?” Emily sat up a little straighter.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Spencer said through her teeth. She was still glaring at Hanna.

“Spencer, if you shut me out of this I swear to God…” Emily said with a warning tone. “Do not start treating me like I’m made of glass. If you do I will cut a bitch.”

Spencer huffed out a frustrated breath, but didn’t say anything.

“Charlotte got a phone call the night she died,” Hanna explained.

Emily glanced at the girls in confusion. That was hardly anything worth keeping from her.

“From who?” There had to be more to it than that.

“They don’t know. But they traced the call,” Hanna said. “Whoever it was called her from _The Radley.”_

Emily’s eyes widened in realization. She immediately tried to picture the faces of all the strangers in the hotel that night. Had there been someone familiar among them? Had they crossed paths with Charlotte’s killer? Was there something more sinister at play? What if this whole thing had been a set up to make them look guilty? It was all a drunken haze in her mind. She couldn’t remember anything from that night, apart from being completely wasted...and it’s not like they could review the security footage, because Caleb had destroyed it to protect Aria. Emily closed her eyes in frustration. What if the answers they needed were lost in that eternal darkness where memories went to die?


	13. The Art of Communication

Hanna explained everything to her. How Toby and the others had been on their way to the loft to tell them the news about the new evidence before they had run across Alison and Emily, and how the investigation had been turned over to Linda Tanner, a detective they were all too familiar with. She had overseen their arrest after Alison’s trial, and subsequently, had inadvertently fallen into Charlotte’s web…making it easy for Charlotte to capture the girls and kidnap them.

Though Tanner had worked tirelessly to try and save them, she’d never fully believed the girls were innocent of all wrongdoing. Now that she was in charge of Charlotte’s murder, she was suddenly very interested in what they’d been doing the night Charlotte died. In light of the new evidence she was in the process of getting a warrant to gain access to the security footage from _The Radley_ that night. Fortunately, the hotel’s backup drive no longer had access to the footage with Aria on it thanks to Caleb’s quick thinking.

Once Toby told them that Tanner and her team were gunning for the security footage, Caleb had gone to the hotel and nabbed the backup drive and replaced it with an identical one that had all of the incriminating footage of Aria on it removed. He’d been able to fudge the time-stamps on the doctored footage so no one would be able to tell anything was missing. Aria was out of the woods, but Toby told them that Tanner would probably scrutinize the girls since they had been at _The Radley_ around the same time that Charlotte had gotten that call. After all, they had motive to want Charlotte dead.

“The call came in a little after eleven. Tanner asked Ali about it this morning,” Hanna said. “She told her she never heard the phone ring. She said Charlotte fell asleep on the couch around 10:30. She went to unwind with a bath and when she finished up Charlotte was in the kitchen eating a snack and reading a magazine.”

Emily tried to create a timeline in her mind, but her brain was still a little foggy. She knew that the fight Alison and Charlotte had must have happened after that, because Ali told her that Charlotte stormed out after it. What if the phone call had been someone tipping Charlotte off about Ali and Elliott? She wondered if Alison had told the cops about their fight.

“The cops think Charlotte went to the hotel before she went to the bell tower.” Hanna shifted her feet uncomfortably.

Every hair on Emily’s body stood on end. Her arms broke out in goosebumps. Just the thought of Charlotte being in the same room as them made Emily’s blood run cold. It took her back to every terrifying moment Charlotte had put them through. Suddenly, she was back in the nightmare she’d had last night. She saw flashes of everything that had happened before and during the dollhouse. The messages, the threats, the physical danger. The games she’d been forced to play in the dollhouse. The times she’d been forced to choose between her friends, lest they all suffer.

The times she’d been drugged and woke up with no memories of what had happened. Even worse, the times she woke up in complete darkness, her hands bound, her hearing blocked because of some sensory deprivation device on her head, unable to move…too scared to breathe. The times gas had been pumped into her room…her cell, causing horrid hallucinations.

The times she’d been forced to listen to recordings of her parents breaking down…her mother’s sobs, her father’s anguished anger. The videos she’d been forced to watch over and over again…videos of Maya’s last night alive, videos of Alison being buried alive, videos of her loved ones being stalked while she was locked away, unable to do anything to help.

The times _A_ …Charlotte…had taunted her, encouraging her to kill herself and end it all. Sometimes she’d wake up to find a bottle of pills sitting next to a glass of water. Sometimes it was some strange pink substance drawn up into a syringe. Sometimes it was a gun with a single bullet. If she hadn’t been so out of it from the sleep deprivation she would have found a way to hide the gun and use it on their captor. Emily never wanted to live that hell again.

Even if Charlotte was dead, there was still someone out there playing with them. What if the person Charlotte met that night hadn’t been her killer? What if it was someone she was conspiring with? Had they made a mistake not fighting harder against her release? Emily shuddered.

“Em, you okay?” Spencer looked at her with wide eyes. Her voice brought Emily back to reality. “You kind of disappeared there for a minute.”

“It’s the meds.” Emily shook off her fear. “They make me kind of spacey.”

Maybe the medications were causing hallucinations, too. Suddenly, she wondered if the nightmares she’d had last night had been drug-induced. Or maybe it was a weird side effect of nearly dying. She’d heard that some people suffered from strange happenstances after near death experiences.

Hanna and Spencer looked at one another in alarm. Spencer’s face clearly said _I told you we shouldn’t have said anything._

“Guys, I’m fine.” Emily motioned to the machines in charge of monitoring her vitals. “See? No alarms, no flatlines, no doctors rushing in dramatically in slow-motion…”

“No sad emo indie music playing in the background while way too pretty people in scrubs make faces like they’re constipated.” Hanna sounded a little disappointed that there weren’t doctors that looked like models dancing around the room making intense eyes at one another.

“Exactly.” Emily nodded with a laugh. “You know, all those medical shows on the air would have you believe that the medical profession is all about angst, drama, and sex when in reality it’s just overly-tired nurses yelling at doctors for having races on IV poles in the hallway and orderlies making grilled cheese sandwiches with multi-billion dollar research equipment.”

“That makes me feel so comfortable about you being in their care,” Spencer said caustically.

“Relax, Spence.” Emily rolled her eyes. “I’m just kidding.”

She wasn’t. She’d seen some downright crazy…and hilarious things doctors and nurses did when they thought no one was watching.

Spencer glared at her for a split second and then she smiled sheepishly. She knew she was overreacting.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry.” Spencer scratched her forehead. “I’m just…feeling the pressure from the campaign and this whole Charlotte and _A_ thing and I haven’t had my coffee yet…and my blood sugar has dropped dangerously low and you know…you kinda died yesterday.” She rambled.

“So I’ve heard.” Emily retorted. “You guys are never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“I’m just glad you get to live, period.” Spencer shrugged. Her phone beeped and she looked at it and let out a low groan. “Ugh, if Toby doesn’t get back with a doughnut and some caffeine soon there’s a very good possibility I might punch someone.” Her face tightened in thought. “You think it would start an international war if I called a foreign diplomat’s son a pedantic chauvinistic man-child?” She tapped in a response to whatever message it was that she received. She grumbled angrily. “I’m catching enough flak from _A_ threatening to meddle in my mom’s campaign. I can not take it from this walking STD factory, too.”

“ _A_ is messing with your mom’s campaign?” Emily asked. “When did this happen?”

“Last night.” Spencer pocketed her phone. “The bitch is threatening to ruin my mom’s campaign unless we give her Charlotte’s killer before the cops find out who it is.”

Clearly this new _A_ thought they were a part of Sherlock Holmes’ Detective agency.

“Great. No pressure.” Emily muttered.

A few seconds later Toby walked in with the food. He was digging around in the bag.

“Sorry it took me so long. I had to run to the café across the street to get the good coffee. I ran into Aria there. She’s right behind me with the drinks.”

Seconds later Aria walked in holding a cardboard drink holder full of coffees. Spencer nearly started salivating at the sight of it. Toby looked up and noticed that all eyes were on him and Aria.

“Why do I feel like a gazelle that just walked into a hungry lion’s den?” He looked from Spencer to Hanna and then at Emily.

“Don’t panic. Just put the food and coffee down and slowly back away from it.” Hanna snickered. “And don’t make eye contact. She might take it as a challenge.”

Spencer rolled her eyes at Hanna and then walked over to Toby and Aria. Toby took a coffee from the cardboard holder and held it out at arm’s length with an adorable awkward smile on his face. He had a very patient smile. Emily loved that about him. Spencer thanked him and then grabbed something bundled up in a wrapper from the bag that he was holding.

“I got you a decaf tea, Em.” Aria walked over and handed Emily a cup of hot tea. “I wasn’t sure what else you could have.”

“This is perfect, Aria. Thanks.” She blew on the steaming beverage and then took a small sip.

Spencer nearly downed her entire breakfast in one bite.

“Feeling less hangry, now?” Hanna teased her.

“Much.” Spencer nodded. She looked over and gave Toby an appreciative smile. “My compliments to the chef.”

“I’ll leave a beautifully crafted note for the vending machine.” Toby chuckled.

“Hey, where’s Ali?” Aria noticed they were one person short.

“She’s on her way,” Emily said.

“She probably got held up talking to Tanner. That woman is relentless.” Hanna muttered. “It’s a good thing Caleb was able to switch out those hard drives.” She glanced at Toby. “When are you two meeting up to sort through the footage?”

“Uh…” Toby seemed stunned that Hanna was asking about it for some reason. He glanced at Emily and Emily realized he was uncomfortable talking about it because he didn’t realize she knew about the new evidence.

“It’s fine. I know about it.” Emily tried to ease some of the tension in the room.

“You guys told her?” Aria nearly dropped her coffee.

“Don’t look at me.” Spencer pointed at Hanna.

“Why would you tell her?” Aria glared at her.

“Because she’s Hanna.” Spencer rolled her eyes.

“Look, I’m not some helpless puppy.” Emily blew on her tea again and then took another sip. “Being sick doesn’t make me any less a part of this. I want this over just as much as you guys do.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No buts. This isn’t a debate.” Emily interrupted Aria. “This affects me, too. If Tanner finds anything on those tapes that looks even the slightest bit suspicious I could end up on an entirely different death row. We all could. The sooner we figure this out the sooner we can get some normalcy back in our lives.”

There was an edge in her voice. She wasn’t sure she’d ever feel normal again, but she wanted to try. Her friends recognized that, so they didn’t argue.

“That footage is going to take a while to get through, right?” Emily faced Toby.

“Yeah.” Toby nodded. “Caleb has seen decent portion of it, but that’s when he was looking for Aria on the tapes. Now that we know about the call and Charlotte potentially going to the hotel we’ve got to look at every detail and make sure there’s nothing that could be remotely damaging to you four.”

“I can help you guys go through it.” Emily shrugged.

The girls looked at one another unsurely. Emily noticed the hesitation.

“What else am I going to do for the next 24 hours?” Emily asked. “They’ve pretty much got me on lockdown. I can’t even stand up without permission right now.”

“Toby?” Spencer looked at him.

Emily glared at him with a look that said _if you treat me like an invalid I will punch you in the neck._

“Uh, okay. Yeah, sure. I’ll let Caleb know.” Toby wasn’t about to cross Emily. When she was determined, there wasn’t anything that could stand in her way. “I’ll give him a call and ask him to swing by.”

“He’s already on his way,” Hanna said. “He wanted to check in on you, Em. Hope that’s okay.”

Emily didn’t have any objections. The girls told her they’d called Caleb and Ezra after she collapsed. The only thing that surprised her was that Hanna hadn’t told Caleb the moment she found out about her heart.

Toby’s phone rang and he stepped out to take the call.

“What are we going to tell Ali?” Spencer asked quietly.

“What do you mean?” Emily asked.

“She’s going to be glued to your side all day. You don’t think she’ll notice that you’re trying to play super-hacker with the boys?” Spencer questioned.

“So I’ll tell her what we’re doing. It’s not like it’s a secret that we were at _The Radley._ She’ll understand.”

“I don’t know. The way Toby tells it, she’s been pretty friendly with the police about all this. She still has that security photo of me outside the bar,” Aria said nervously. “What if she feels backed into a corner and she hands it over to the cops?”

“She won’t. She knows she overreacted about that. We’re all on the same side here.” Emily tried to put their minds at ease.

“Honestly, I’m more worried about _A_ ,” Hanna admitted. “Clearly this new psycho thinks we had something to do with Charlotte’s death. If we weren’t worried about looking guilty before, we should be now. Who knows what this bitch has up her sleeve?”

“Did you guys say anything to Ali about this?” Emily asked.

“No. Not yet,” Hanna said. “Why? Do you think we should?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. She might have an idea of who would have cared about Charlotte enough to want justice for her.” Emily chewed on her bottom lip.

She was conflicted about telling Alison. She knew that talking to her about it might make Ali a target. As far as she knew, Ali wasn’t getting any messages from _A_. But she also knew that it was only a matter of time before she got dragged into it. Telling her sooner rather than later might be for the best.

“I’ll figure it out.” Emily shrugged.

“Figure what out?” Alison walked into the room.

“Jesus, Ali!” Spencer jumped and spun around to face her. “Where did you come from?”

“The hallway…” Ali looked at Spencer like she was crazy. “Why are you so jumpy?”

“She just overdid it on the caffeine this morning,” Aria said quickly.

“You really ought to switch to decaf.” Ali laughed. “So, what are you guys talking about?” She walked over next to Emily and smiled at her.

“Um…” Emily looked around at her friends and then back at Ali. She choked, “…fabric.”

Spencer, Aria, and Hanna stared back at her in confusion. Hanna opened her mouth to ask her if she was having a stroke, but Emily interrupted her before she could say anything.

“For the wedding. What did you say your dress was made of, Han?”

“I’m still deciding.” Hanna decided to go along with whatever it was that Emily was doing.

Emily gently steered the conversation towards Hanna’s wedding. It was becoming her go-to topic when she got overwhelmed. She’d been talking about it more than Hanna lately. Hanna was probably as sick of talking about it as Caleb. Emily was surprised the two of them hadn’t just eloped. They were in the middle of talking about bands when Emily’s phone went off. Hanna, Aria, and Spencer looked at her with a tense expression…worried about who it might be.

“It’s my mom.” Emily glanced at the screen. Her mother wanted to know if Hanna had found a caterer yet. Emily couldn’t help but laugh at the timing, considering they were talking about the wedding. “I swear she’s psychic.” She looked at her friends. “She wants to know how the wedding planning is going.”

Alison turned to her with a weird expression on her face.

“You haven’t called her?” Alison stared at her in shock.

“I’ve been unconscious.” Emily shrugged. “Besides, she’s just getting some semblance of her normal life back.”

“Emily, you have to tell her.”

Emily cringed. All she could think about was _A_ ’s threat to expose her secret to her mother. It was overwhelming to think about. She knew her mother was going to find out eventually. She wanted to tell her, but at the same time, she knew exactly how fragile her mother was.

“If she finds out it might put her in an early grave. I’ve already buried one parent. I don’t want to bury another. I mean, she just got to a point where she doesn’t cry herself to sleep every night. She puts on a brave front, but I can see it in her eyes. She’s still totally broken over my dad.”

“I don’t care. Do you really want her to find out like we did?” Alison argued.

“Ali, calm down. I’m going to tell her,” Emily said. “I’m just not at that point yet.”

Ali looked over at the other girls with a mixture of surprise and frustration on her face. Spencer glanced at Hanna. Aria looked away uncomfortably. Hanna shrugged at them, as if to say _I told you so._

“I think you’re way past that point.” Ali glared at Emily.

“There is no need to upset her right now. I just need a little more time. The doctors are going to figure it out.”

“You don’t know that!” Ali exclaimed. “And what happens if next time...”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” Emily stopped her before she could really fly off the handle. “Let me just deal with this my way, okay?”

Ali opened her mouth to respond, but Toby popped in and interrupted them. Alison turned towards him, still reeling from sniping at Emily. She was ready to bite his head off, but then she saw the look on his face.

“Tanner is here.” Toby huffed out nervously.

“What?” Spencer and Hanna exclaimed in unison.

“Why?” Aria asked tentatively.

“Well, I doubt it’s for the peas and mashed potatoes in the cafeteria.” Spencer glanced at Alison. “Did you…”

“No!” Ali exclaimed. “I told you, all she asked about was the phone call. I didn’t offer anything else. She mentioned she wanted to talk to you guys, but I didn’t think she meant like right now, _today_.”

“Toby, can you just say you already questioned us?” Spencer asked.

“I’m off-duty. Besides, I can’t. It’s a conflict of interest.”

“You’re withholding evidence. I’d say you’re way beyond the basics of your Hippocratic Oath,” Hanna muttered.

“That’s doctors,” Emily said.

“What?”

“Never mind.” She shook her head.

“Wait, what evidence are you guys talking about?” Ali asked.

“I’ve got to call Caleb and tell him to leave our _baggage_ at home.” Hanna grabbed her phone. “The last thing we need right now is him showing up here with _Exhibit A_.”

“Already done,” Toby said. “But you three need to come with me. If Tanner is looking for you and you hide it’ll just make it look worse for you.”

“What about me?” Emily questioned.

“You’re not clear for unauthorized visitors.” Toby shook his head. “The doctors won’t do anything to risk stressing you out.”

“I’d say it’s a little late for that,” Emily murmured.

“Come on.” Toby motioned to Spencer, Aria, and Hanna. He looked at Emily. “Can you fill Alison in?”

“Sure.”

Emily was actually relieved to tell Ali about the security footage, because it was a distraction from her health. Ali sat quietly by her bed as Emily explained what Hanna and the others had told her about _The Radley_ security footage. Ali wasn’t surprised. The girls had always gone to great lengths to protect one another. Emily admitted that she had no idea what was on the videos, because she didn’t remember that night at all. She only knew what the others had told her. After Emily was finished explaining she looked at Ali and waited for her response. Ali was quiet.

“Ali?” Emily asked tentatively.

Ali lifted her chin and looked at Emily. Her face was virtually unreadable. It made Emily uncomfortable. The silence was unbearable.

“Please say something.” Emily begged.

Ali blinked slowly and opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again and peered at her in thought.

“I’m sorry if we…” Emily stuttered, “…it’s just that if the cops knew …”

“Emily, you don’t have to justify anything.” Ali reached for Emily’s hand. “I understand why this needs to stay off their radar.”

Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Ali still seemed lost in thought.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked.

“You really don’t remember anything about what you guys did after you left the restaurant?”

“I remember Spencer calling the Mayor ‘Lord Voldemort’ and Hanna confiscating her phone before she could call him and accuse him of using dark magic to gain his political power, and I think Aria tried to sculpt a cat out of her leftover tofu from dinner. After that it’s all just a blur until Hanna found me passed out on the bathroom floor.”

Ali cringed. Her shoulders tensed up. Emily saw her withdrawing into herself.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Emily was a little surprised by Ali’s reaction. “It’s not the first time I woke up spooning a bathmat.”

“No, it’s not that.” Ali shook her head. “It’s just…you called me that night.”

“I…what?”

Emily specifically remembered praising herself for not drunk-dialing Ali. When had she called her? She didn’t remember seeing that in her call logs. Then again, she was doing everything she could to avoid her phone these days.

“I don’t remember that.” Emily felt her mouth getting dry from her nerves. “Why did I call you?”

“I don’t know,” Ali said with a shrug. “I missed the call, but you left a message. You didn’t say much. You sounded…weird. You mentioned something about your dad and then you hung up.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I was going to, but then everything happened with Charlotte and when you didn’t bring it up, I just assumed you were drunk and didn’t remember it. So I let it go.” Her faced tightened in concern. “I can’t believe you were drinking that much. Why would you risk it…with your heart and everything?” Her fingers tightened around Emily’s hand. “Was it because of Charlotte’s release?”

Emily looked away.

“Was it my fault?” she asked timidly.

“God, no.” Emily grabbed Alison’s arm and gently squeezed it. “No, Ali. Everything I do is on me. I shouldn’t have been drinking and I know that, but I was having a tough day.” She specifically left out the part about how she’d been racked with nerves about stepping up for her and her sister’s trial. Ali already felt guilty. Emily was not about to let her take that guilt on. “Sometimes I just…don’t think, you know?”

“You have to listen to your doctors.” Alison twisted the chair and moved closer to Emily. “It’s not like this is a cold. This is your heart, Em.”

“I know.” Emily nodded. “And I know you’re worried…”

“Worried is an understatement.” Ali’s brow crinkled. “I skated past worried yesterday. I stayed up all night reading Dr. Google and picking Elliott’s brain about treatments and statistics and everything I could possibly learn about heart conditions. It’s…terrifying. He warned me not to visit the dark side of the internet.” She shook her head.

“You talked to Elliott about this?” Emily asked warily.

“I didn’t tell him. He already knew. He actually called me about it,” Ali explained. “He’s covering for a friend of his in the mental health department here. He saw your name on the admittance board and he was concerned, so he called me to see if I knew how you were doing.”

“So, what did you tell him?”

“The truth.” Alison had a hint of a smirk on her face. “That you are stubborn and infuriating.” She laughed softly. “He said those were good qualities to have. Apparently, being a fighter is good in this circumstance.” She peered at Emily’s heart monitor and then looked at her. “He wanted to know if you were up for visitors. I think he wants to see you.”

“Why?” Emily frowned.

Ali cocked her head in confusion.

“You really don’t like him, do you?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…I don’t even know him.”

“Yeah, well, he knows all about you,” Ali muttered with a shrug. “I’ve been talking his ear off about you since I met him.”

Emily felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Ali saw her blush and she smiled at her. After a second her smile faded. A melancholy expression washed across her face.

“There’s something I haven’t told you about me and Elliott.”

Emily tensed up. She prepared herself for the worst case scenario. Was she secretly married to him? Did they have a baby? She looked at Ali in anticipation.

“We didn’t just drift apart because of Charlotte,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“Even when I was with him…” Ali nervously tapped her feet against the ground. “…all I could talk about was you.” She had a shy expression on her face. “He never really spoke to me about it though. I think he’s always known what you mean to me, but there was a part of him that really wanted me to love him like I love you. And there was a part of me that let him believe that was possible. We were deluding each other. It all came to a head when he told me Charlotte had a shot at being released. He saw me struggle over writing you and the girls about her release. I knew what I was asking when I wrote you guys those letters.” Ali sighed. “Writing the others was hard enough, but when I wrote your name I turned into a total mess. I must have rewritten it at least a half a dozen times because I was shaking so hard the writing wasn’t legible. That was around the time that Elliott and I both accepted that it was over between us.”

“You broke up…because of me?” It felt weird for Emily to say it out loud.

“In a way.” Ali nodded. “He and I will always be connected because of Charlotte. But I want you to understand that you have nothing to worry about with him. He’s not a threat. Given the choice between him and you, I’ll always choose you. I always have.”

Emily couldn’t help but smile. It hadn’t been bad news after all. That was a nice change of pace. She leaned forward and grabbed Alison’s face. She pushed her lips against Alison’s and Alison melted under her touch. Alison cupped the nape of Emily’s neck to pull her closer. The kiss was long and deep, and Emily didn’t want it to stop. Ali pulled back when she heard the machine monitoring Emily’s pulse increase in speed.

“Your doctor said you’re not supposed to do anything strenuous.” Her lips were quivering, though whether it was from the kiss or from concern, Emily couldn’t tell.

“My doctor isn’t here.” Emily grinned.

“You are out of your mind.” Ali shook her head with a laugh.

“Quite possibly.” Emily didn’t disagree.

Alison’s confession opened up the door for the two of them to talk about almost everything they were keeping to themselves. They had a lot more to catch up on than they realized. Emily told Alison about her struggles at school and about her financial issues. Alison told Emily about how she’d had a falling out with her dad and her brother over Charlotte’s treatment. She’d mended things with Jason, but she hadn’t been on speaking terms with her father for nearly three years. They told one another about their fears and insecurities.

“Do you realize how many of our problems could have been avoided if we just talked to one another?” Emily asked.

“We’re idiots.” Ali nodded.

“Big idiots.” Emily chuckled.

They had wasted so much time talking about each other instead of to each other. They both knew if they wanted it to work between them they had to be more open with one another. Emily swallowed a knot in her throat thinking about how she was sitting on the secret about _A_. _A_ tended to make Ali want to bolt, but Emily knew deep down that Ali wasn’t going anywhere this time. She was nervous about bringing her back into the mix, but not because she didn’t think Ali could handle it. She was nervous because she didn’t want to see anything bad happen to her. Every bone in Emily’s body wanted to protect the love of her life. But she knew she owed Ali the truth.

“In the spirit of actually communicating with one another, there’s something you should know about.” Emily reached for her phone.

Ali wanted a fresh start with no lies. And Emily wanted to give that to her. She went to unlock the screen, but the moment her phone came to life a picture message from an unknown number popped up on the screen. When she opened it her phone suddenly felt heavy in her hands. She was staring at a photo of Linda Tanner talking to Alison at Ali’s house. The message attached was simple, but direct:

_“If you mention me to either of them, your girlfriend will end up just like her sister.”_

How. Did. The. Bitch. Know?

The timing was uncanny. Then again, there were no coincidences with _A_. Emily fumbled with her phone and quickly closed the message. Ali’s eyes were on Emily. She was patiently waiting for a secret that Emily could no longer share with her. Emily looked into Ali’s bright blue eyes...and for the first time she truly understood how terrified Ali was of losing her, because all she could think about now was how terrified she was that she could lose Ali to _A_.


	14. Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Emily’s mind was racing, trying to come up with something to say to Alison that wasn’t a lie. She couldn’t tell her about _A_ , but she couldn’t in good conscience lie to her after the conversation they’d just had about honesty.

“Um, hold that thought…” Emily smiled nervously at Ali. She stuttered something out about needing to return a message really quick. She texted Spencer, Aria, and Hanna to find out where they were and warned them not to drop any hints whatsoever to Tanner about _A_. She explained that _A_ was threatening Ali’s life.

Spencer replied almost immediately,

_“Not with Tanner. She wasn’t looking for us. Will explain when we get back.”_

Emily breathed a sigh of relief. It was overwhelming enough to be dealing with _A_ and Sara Harvey. Adding Tanner on top of that was going to be a nightmare. They just had to slay one dragon at a time. She looked up from her phone and Ali was still staring at her.

“Emily?” She was still waiting on an answer.

She needed to give her something, and fast.

“I saw Sara Harvey visiting Charlotte’s grave,” Emily blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“What?”

“At least, that’s what she claims,” Emily continued. “I think she may have been following me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Because she’s deranged?” She couldn’t tell Ali she thought Sara was working with _A_ without telling her the whole truth.

“Wait, why were you at Charlotte’s grave?” Ali pulled back in confusion.

“I wasn’t. I was visiting my dad.” She felt her throat close up thinking about her dad’s grave.

“Oh.” Ali shook her head, embarrassed. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” She felt bad for not considering that in the first place. “I…I saw the new headstone when I went to visit my mom a few weeks ago. It’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Emily let out a pained smile. “That night was the first time I’d seen it.”

“Really?” Ali asked curiously.

“I should have gone sooner,” Emily admitted. Talking to her father that night had been cathartic, “He always knew how to fix things. I was hoping that by going there I’d be able to see things more clearly. He taught me that there’s light even in the darkness. He used to tell me that even when the sky is dark, the stars are still shining somewhere. He’d say, _‘just because you can’t see the light doesn’t mean it’s not there’._ His words have gotten me through hard times before.”

Ali felt tears stinging her eyes. Emily had always been her light in the darkness. How was it possible that she hadn’t seen how much Emily needed someone to be _her_ guide?

“I’ve felt like I was in this fog for so long,” Emily rubbed her eyes. “I thought being there and talking to him might help me find my way through the clouds. Then Sara showed up…” She clenched her fists in anger.

“I’m sorry she ruined that for you.” Ali’s face tightened. “What did she say to you?”

“She insisted that she was there to pay her respects to Charlotte. Then she turned around and tried to lay a guilt trip on me about what happened to her at the prom.”

“That wasn’t your fault.” Ali’s face was soft, but there was an angry undertone to her voice. She didn’t like hearing about Sara messing with Emily. Her protective instincts went into overdrive. She started picturing ways to make Sara pay.

“Oh, believe me, I know,” Emily replied. She ground her teeth together thinking about the smug look that had been on Sara’s face that night at the graveyard. “But she’s really good at playing the victim. She’s a master at playing people right into her hands.” Emily had fallen for it once upon a time. “Everything she does is calculating and manipulating. The way she talked to me in the graveyard that night, it’s like she was playing some kind of game, like she was…” Emily paused in thought.

“…like she was Charlotte?” Ali bit her bottom lip.

“That’s not what I was going to say.” But it was, only she was going to say _A_.

Emily looked away uncomfortably. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Ali about Charlotte. It was one thing to recognize how much Ali loved her sister. It was another thing entirely to pretend that she wasn’t still haunted by the things that Charlotte had done. But it’s not something she could talk to Ali about. Talking about the person who had put her through hell wasn’t exactly a good conversation to have with the person who had been her definition of heaven since childhood, especially given how close the DiLaurentis sisters had gotten before Charlotte was killed. It was just easier for Emily to be a neutral party when it came to Charlotte.

“I saw it written all over your face.” Alison grimaced. “It’s okay. It’s not like I haven’t thought about that myself,” she admitted. “I spent every day for five years with her. It’s not like I didn’t know how messed up she was before her treatment. All the stunts she pulled…” She shook her head, “…and that’s just the stuff I know about and the things she told me. I still don’t know everything.”

Emily felt Alison’s eyes burning through her, and she knew Ali was referring to what Charlotte had done to her, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna in the dollhouse. They’d never been able to talk to Ali about it. They’d barely been able to talk to one another about it. She felt her stomach bundle up into a tense knot. She couldn’t find the right words to say, so she just stayed quiet.

“It took me a long time to come to terms with everything she did to us, but I couldn’t just give up on her. Just because people do horrible things doesn’t mean they are horrible people. Sometimes the amount of layers someone has can surprise you.” Ali’s gaze drifted down.

She had a thoughtful look on her face. Emily could tell that she was reviewing her own sordid past. She reached up and rubbed Ali’s arm to comfort her.

“I get it. I know that the Charlotte who did all that stuff to us in high school isn’t the same Charlotte you brought home from Welby. I don’t want you to think I don’t understand that. I do.” Emily smiled softly. “But I’m probably always going to flinch a little when she comes up in conversation. I get these flashes...it’s kind of hard to describe. It’s just like...for a brief second I’m right back in high school, and I freeze.”

It didn’t help that she was actually living it again.

“I know.” Ali nodded. “The same thing used to happen to me. She witnessed it a few times when I visited her. I guess I would get some kind of glassy look in my eyes, and somehow she just _knew_. I came out of it one time and she was on the floor in her room hugging her knees and crying and when I asked her what was wrong she just kept apologizing over and over. Once she realized the scope of everything she put all of us through she became distraught. She wrote everyone letters to apologize.”

“She did?” Emily asked in surprise.

“She was too afraid to mail them, but I read them. Reading them gave me a glimpse into a part of her that I didn’t know existed. I could see that her past actions didn’t define who she really was. I knew if I just looked hard enough I’d find the good in her.” Ali locked eyes with Emily. “I never used to think twice about looking beyond the surface, but then someone came along and put the idea of looking for the good in people into my head.”

“What idiot taught you that?” Emily had a feeling she knew the answer.

“You.” Ali couldn’t help but laugh. “I thought about all the times you saw the best in me when I wasn’t at my best. I think we’re all more than our past…more than our mistakes. Screwing up doesn’t make you a screw up. We are all nuanced creatures.”

“Spoken like a true English teacher.” Emily smiled. “Rosewood High is lucky to have you.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d complimented Ali on her career choice. She’d always known that Ali wanted to give back after everything she’d done in high school. She had done her best to atone for her mistakes, and all she wanted to do was make sure the cycle didn’t repeat with the next generation. She wanted to make the world a better place.

“Can you tell that to my kids?” Ali laughed darkly. “Half of them sleep through class and the other half think an Iambic Pentameter is an up and coming rapper.”

“Speaking of, I thought you were going back to school this week,” Emily said.

“Given everything that’s going on with you I think I’m going to tell Hackett I need a few more days.”

“Don’t you dare. Those wayward children need you more than I do.” Emily furrowed her brows and scolded her.

“Yeah, but…with your heart and the Sara Harvey stuff…”

“I didn’t tell you that so you could become my personal bodyguard. I just want you to be on alert when it comes to her.”

“I still don’t understand why Sara would harass you,” Ali sighed.

Emily suppressed a laugh. “Harass” was an understatement.

“I really don’t think she was lying when she said she cared about Charlotte. Charlotte knew what you meant to me, and if she and Sara were all buddy-buddy then Sara must know it, too. If Sara truly is trying to make amends…why is she coming after you?”

Something dawned on Emily. What if Sara had been telling the truth about making amends with Charlotte? Maybe she had cared about her. Maybe she’d even loved her. That would give her a motive to torture her, Aria, Spencer, and Hanna to get information about her murderer. Ali must have seen the look of realization wash across Emily’s face, because she immediately pressed her to explain what was going through her mind.

“What is it?” Ali asked worriedly.

“What’s what?” Emily gave Ali her best poker face.

She didn’t buy it.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” Ali’s eyes narrowed.

Emily nearly bit through her tongue to keep a straight face.

_Only the fact that A is back and threatening to kill you if we breathe a word of it to you._

“No.” Emily shook her head.

Ali stared at her, unblinking, unsure if she believed Emily. After a few seconds, she relaxed her stance. She was about to say something, but her phone interrupted her. She pawed through her purse and pulled it out to see who it was.

“It’s Elliott.” She glanced at her phone and then looked up at Emily. “He’s probably checking in on you. Do you mind if I…”

“No, go ahead.”

Emily never thought she’d be so happy for Elliott Rollins’ intrusion. If it was going to keep Ali busy she was all for it. It meant that she didn’t have to keep lying to her about _A_. Ali walked out into the hallway and answered. Emily took the opportunity to grab her phone and text the girls.

_“Got more proof that Sara might be in cahoots with A. Where are you guys? We need to talk.”_

She heard footsteps and assumed it was Ali coming back into the room, but when she looked up from her phone she saw her favorite nurse, Joyce. Joyce had a kind smile and was a lot more personable than her other nurse, Ida. Joyce was always bubbly. She always gushed about her husband and two kids. Ida just made a lot of snorting noises and cleared her throat an ungodly amount of times.

“Hey, Emily. How are you feeling?” Joyce walked over to check the machines.

“I’m good.” Emily nodded. “Still a little sore.”

“That’s to be expected,” Joyce smiled at her. “Even so, you’ve been quite a trooper through all this.”

She grabbed her stethoscope from around her neck. Even though the machines were monitoring almost everything, the doctors and nurses still liked to check her heart and her vitals manually. After she was satisfied she put her stethoscope around her neck again and then checked Emily’s IV line.

“So, is my heart going to get a speeding ticket for going too fast today?” Emily asked with a wry smile.

Joyce chuckled.

“You’re a little over the limit.” She typed something into the computer system. She pulled two syringes filled with IV medication out of her pocket. “And since we don’t want you under cardiac arrest…” she looked at Emily, a dorky ‘I’m proud of myself for that pun’ smile on her face, “…the doc has ordered a little something to keep you under the speed limit.”

Emily laughed. This is why she liked Joyce more than Ida. Ida just glared at her with a stone faced expression and muttered her responses under her breath.

“I’ve got good news for you.” Joyce read through her chart. “It’s not official yet, but between you and me…it looks like you’ll be busting out of here soon. Doctor Hardy is cautiously optimistic about this new medication regimen. He’s been in contact with your cardiologist in California about your progress. As long as your vitals remain stable the plan is to keep you tonight and then through tomorrow and you should be able to make a break for it tomorrow night.”

“It will be so nice not to be on lockdown,” Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ve basically been chained to this bed since I got here.”

“Well, Prisoner 24601, they’re lightening your restrictions. The doctor is going to allow you to move about freely in your cell starting a little later today. You won’t get any exercise yard privileges…for your own safety.” She motioned towards Emily’s chest. “But at least you can get up to pee without your prison guard’s supervision.”

“And what will my prison guard do with all that free time?” Emily asked.

“Girl, there’s no such thing in the medical industry. Not all patients are as easy as you. I can’t tell you how many patients and their families treat me like I’m their own personal wait staff. I’m serving a life sentence here,” she lowered her voice, but she had a smile on her face. “Remember me when you get on the outside.” She looked at Emily’s chart one more time and then grabbed the medication the doctor had ordered.

She pumped the first injection into Emily’s IV line and then went to give the second one.

“This one might make you a little drowsy,” she said.

Joyce wasn’t kidding. Emily felt the medication starting to take effect almost immediately. She felt buzzed, like she’d had a few glasses of wine. Alison walked back into the room just as Joyce was finishing up. They said hello to each other and then Joyce went to go check on her other patients. Emily glanced at Alison and saw that she looked unnerved. She was holding her phone in her hand with a weird expression on her face.

“Is something wrong?” Emily asked.

“Uh…no.” Ali shook her head robotically. She was lost in thought. “Elliott just called to let me know that a colleague of his at Welby found a box of things that belonged to Charlotte. It somehow got left behind when she was released. If I want it, it’s mine. I just have to go pick it up and sign a release for it. Elliott has to swing by to see a patient and he offered to take me, but I told him I wanted to stay with you.”

“Actually, they just gave me something that’s going to knock me out for a little while, so why don’t you go do whatever you need to do?” Emily suggested.

“No, I’m not going to leave you alone. What if you need something?” Ali looked offended that Emily had even suggested she go.

“Ali, I have an entire nursing staff looking after me. I think they can handle it if you leave for a few hours.” Emily yawned. “Besides, I’m not going to let you spend every waking moment hovering over me. You’ve got to let me breathe, honey.”

Ali opened her mouth to respond, but then took Emily’s hand with a smile. She had a shy look in her eyes.

“Did…did you just call me ‘honey’?” Her cheeks flushed.

“Did I?” Emily smiled in a drunken daze. “I should be careful. Next thing you know I might tell you I love you or something crazy like that.” She winked. She squeezed Ali’s fingers. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you come back.”

Ali reluctantly took Emily’s suggestion and left to call Elliott to let him know she wanted to go to Welby after all. Emily fell asleep shortly after Alison walked out of the room. She was in a weird twilight limbo where she wasn’t fully asleep, but she wasn’t exactly awake either. She could still hear all the activity around her, but her body was completely paralyzed. She heard the machines she was hooked up to beeping at a regular pace. She heard footsteps coming near her and then she felt someone’s hand on her wrist. She stirred in her unconsciousness and then felt herself waking up. She assumed Alison had changed her mind about going to Welby.

“Alison, I told you…”

But when she opened her eyes, she wasn’t looking back into Alison’s eager blue eyes. She was looking into the cold dead eyes of a blonde who haunted her dreams. She was dressed in scrubs and had a creepy look on her face.

“Sara?” Emily gasped. She jerked her hand away from Sara’s gloved fingers that had just been resting on her wrist. “Wha…get the hell away from me.” Emily tried to scramble backwards, but there was nowhere to go. She backed herself against the wall. Her heart monitor changed rhythms as her pulse quickened.

“Relax, Emily. If I wanted to hurt you I could have done it while you were unconscious.” Sara laughed and rolled her eyes.

Emily stared at her. Was she really here or was this just another one of her drug-infused nightmares? Sara looked around the room, as if she was taking everything in. She clicked her tongue and then shook her head.

“You’ve certainly been holding this one close to your chest, haven’t you?” A smug smirk washed across her face. She waited for Emily to respond, but when she didn’t Sara just shrugged. “Oh, come on, not even a smile?” She sighed. “Wow. Tough room.”

Sara seemed so pleased with herself. Her eyes were dancing with excitement and she had an arrogant look on her face. Emily suddenly felt the urge to punch her again. Who did this girl think she was strutting into her hospital room and trying to intimidate her? What gave her the right to play games with Emily and her friends’ lives? All at once, Emily’s fear faded away and it was replaced with heated anger. She straightened up and looked Sara square in her beady little eyes.

“I know what you’re up to,” Emily’s voice was strong and filled with hate.

“Really?” Sara’s brow lifted in curiosity. “Do tell.”

“The cops may have bought that Charlotte manipulated you into helping her torture us when we were in high school, but whatever you do now is all on you. There’s no one pulling any strings. There’s no one to blame. I don’t know what your endgame is, but you’re not going to get away with it this time.” Emily growled. “If you know what’s good for you you’ll back off.”

“You’re so far off-base.” Sara laughed, a high pitch shrill laugh that made Emily flinch. “You have no idea who you’re up against. And if you think _I’m_ the one you should be afraid of you’re out of your mind.” She grabbed Emily’s IV line and found the injection port. She pulled a syringe out of her pocket and jammed it into the port and depressed the plunger.

“What are you doing?” Emily’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Em, you should have just stayed in California,” Sara said in a sing-songy voice.

Emily felt something burning in her veins and suddenly she was extremely drowsy. She slid down into her bed and felt herself drifting off to sleep again. She tried to fight it. The last thing she wanted was to be unconscious in a room with Sara Harvey. She felt her body give in, but her mind fought against it. Her brain was yelling at her eyes, begging them to open. And just when she thought she’d never see the light of day again, she shot up in her hospital bed. She looked around the empty room. Nothing was amiss. She glanced over at her monitors and everything looked fine. She looked at the clock. She’d only been asleep for two hours. Had she dreamed the whole thing?

She sank back into her bed and reached for her phone. She had three voicemails and several text messages. The texts were just her friends checking in on her to see how she was feeling. One of the calls was Alison checking on her, one was her mother asking her if she wanted to meet for dinner, and the last was Spencer updating her on where they had been.

“Hey, you’re probably sleeping. Sorry to do this in a voicemail, but it’s too much to text. It turns out Tanner wasn’t at the hospital for us,” Spencer said in her message. “She was following up on a lead about a guy who saw Charlotte with a man the night she was killed. The witness is apparently some drunk guy who frequents the bar near the church. He was sleeping off a bender in an alley when he heard shouting. Apparently, she got into a pretty heated argument with this man she was with. He saw the whole thing play out.”

Yeah, but how credible was a drunk witness?

“I know what you’re thinking. Who is going to believe a hobo married to Jack Daniels?”

Emily pulled her phone away from her ear and looked at it, wondering if Spencer had magical mind-reading powers. No wonder Aria was so freaked that Emily could tell what she was doing when she was having her panic attack in Boston. They’d been friends for so long they could read one another without even trying.

“Apparently this guy is actually pretty sharp when he’s sober,” Spencer’s message continued. “The drunk told the bartender about what he saw and the bartender passed the information along to the police. The drunk was in the ER last night for alcohol poisoning, but he was discharged before Tanner got there. The doctors wouldn’t give Tanner anything without a warrant, but after she left Toby told me he remembered seeing that guy in the ER while we were there with you. He knew exactly where to find him. We just finished talking to him. He described the guy, but even better…he described the car he was driving. Apparently he’s a car enthusiast…he yammered on about his precious midlife crisis penis-car being taken away after too many DUIs. He remembered exactly what the car he saw that night looked like. Em, it was the same make and model of the car that Sara Harvey came to Charlotte’s funeral in, and his description of the guy matches the guy we saw driving that day. I think you’re right about her being involved.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Emily muttered aloud. She shuddered thinking about Sara Harvey being in her hospital room. She knew it couldn’t have been real. Why would Sara sedate her and just leave? Why not torture her? Kill her? It didn’t make any sense.

“Toby and I are looking into who was driving the car that night and Aria and Hanna are trying to get the guest registry for _The Radley_ from the night Charlotte was killed. Maybe there will be a name on there we recognize. We’ll keep you posted.”

Emily took a minute to process everything, then she started answering her texts. She let the girls know she got Spencer’s message and she texted Ali to let her know she was doing just fine. She saved the hardest response for last. She wanted to call her mother, but she knew Pam would hear the machines in the background and ask questions. So she texted her to let her know she couldn’t do dinner tonight, but asked her about doing it this weekend instead. Pam excitedly accepted…with a plethora of different little food emojis. Emily thought it was cute when her mother used emojis. It made her smile.

It sounded like the girls were making progress, which helped put Emily’s mind at ease. She relaxed and reached for some magazines that Hanna had brought for her. She read about all the gossip in Hollywood. She was in the middle of reading about a huge break-up between two reality stars she’d never even heard of when she heard a light rapping on her door.

“Knock, knock.”

She looked up and saw Caleb leaning against the doorframe. He had a laptop bag slung over his shoulder and a little bright pink stuffed dog in his hand.

“Hey, Caleb.” Emily put her magazine down.

“Fancy meeting you here.” He walked into the room. He looked at all the machines monitoring her. “So…this is what you and Hanna were hiding from me…why you were both acting so cagey a few nights ago?”

“Um…” It was a safer bet than telling him about _A_. “…yep. It was my fault. I begged her not to tell anyone.” She scrunched her face in thought. “Though to be honest, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Caleb admitted. He sounded more concerned than upset. “But I get it. It wasn’t her secret to tell. Hanna and I talk about a lot, pretty much everything, but I would never ask her to betray her best friend’s confidence…” He paused and then added, “…no matter how stupid that best friend is for not letting us help her.”

“Yep, Hanna covered that.” Emily smiled sheepishly. “I’ve already gotten the stern Marin lecture.”

“Great. Now that we have gotten that out of the way…I come bearing gifts.” He grinned his signature ‘Caleb’ grin and held the stuffed dog out to show her.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Emily laughed.

“Hanna kinda made me.” Of course she had. He put his laptop bag down on the chair and the dog on the counter next to her bed. “Don’t hate me for it. Personally, I wanted to go with something less pink and fluffy, but you know Hanna.”

“She does have an affinity for all things bright, loud, and obnoxious.” Emily nudged his arm jokingly.

“Hey, was that a shot at me?” Caleb lifted his brow with a smile on his face. “Damn, you came back from the dead mean.”

They both laughed. Caleb looked around the room and then looked at Emily.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Em.” He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. He looked like a nervous kid. He stared at her heart monitor. “Hanna said you almost didn’t make it.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded absentmindedly.

“Well, it’s a good thing you did. Our lives wouldn’t be the same without you in it.”

“Oh, come on…don’t start getting mushy on me.” Emily laughed. Caleb chuckled. “Let me guess, Hanna was not only in charge of gifts, but she was in charge of your speech, too?”

“Just like our wedding.” Caleb smiled. “And…everything else in our lives.”

“So, what’s in the bag?” Emily glanced over at the chair.

“Well, now that we know Tanner’s not on our case Hanna said we were free and clear to play super-spy.” He flipped the top of the bag up and pulled out two sleek laptops. “And since Toby is off playing detective with Spencer, I need a Q to my James Bond. You up for it?”

“God, yes. If I have to read another story about how half of Hollywood is feuding with the other half I’m going to stab my eyes out. Sign me up to break the law.”

Caleb sat down next to her and handed her a laptop. He turned on his own laptop and talked Emily through how to work through the security footage. They spent a majority of the afternoon combing through the footage looking for traces of Charlotte or anyone who might have associated with her, as well as making sure there wasn’t anything that looked suspicious that could come back to haunt Hanna, Emily, Spencer, and Aria. After a while, all the footage started to look the same. People checking in, people checking out, groups of tipsy women wobbling back to their rooms…including Emily and her friends, hotel staff tidying up, empty hallways, and people coming and going at all hours of the night. Emily studied each image carefully, as if something was going to jump out at her.

She scrolled through the footage for hours, not stopping to do anything else. Even after Caleb had to leave for work she asked him to leave the laptop so she could keep playing sleuth. She’d been so focused on looking through the footage that she’d barely even reacted when her doctor came in to confirm what Joyce had told her about her getting released the next day. He told her she’d still have some restrictions, but that they were going to continue her treatment in hopes that the trial would be successful.

After he gave her the good news she called Ali and the girls to let them know. Ali told her she would call Hackett to let him know she wouldn’t be back at school tomorrow, but Emily threatened her with bodily harm if she bailed on work to sit and watch the clock.

_“Are you sure?”_ Ali had asked.

_“Go. The future generation needs you,”_ Emily had replied.

_“The future generation needs a spanking and a time out,”_ Ali had muttered.

Ali reluctantly agreed to honor Emily’s wishes for her to go back to her normal life. Emily somehow managed to convince all of the girls not to put anything on hold for her. She didn’t want to tip off anyone that she’d been in the hospital. She’d already talked to Caleb about giving her a ride to the loft after she was released. They had made plans to continue working on the security footage tomorrow while she was waiting to be released.

She went back to looking at the video surveillance from that night. She flipped through a couple of loops she’d already looked at. Something familiar near the edge of the camera caught her eye. In the corner of one of the security images there was something that looked like a black streak of fabric. She thought she recognized the design, but she couldn’t remember from where. There were three elongated shadows, but it was too blurry to make out what it was. She stared at it for a long time before she finally moved on, jotting down the name of the video file so she could go back to it later.

After a while, she felt her eyes starting to droop. She finally called it a night and went to sleep, not that she was able to get much sleep. She tossed and turned all night, nightmares about Sara Harvey plaguing her until she fell into a dark part of her subconscious that she was sure she’d never escape from. That psycho was up to something, and Emily was going to figure out what it was...even if it killed her.


	15. That Old Feeling

Emily woke up around 5:30 the next morning. She rolled over on her side and stared out the window, trying to go back to sleep. After a while she gave up. She grabbed the laptop Caleb had left for her and started browsing the internet.

Her doctor came in to do his morning rounds at 7:00. After doing his exam he told her that his plan was to keep her for the day and then let her go home. He wanted her to continue the new medication regimen and keep doing the experimental treatment. Even after the sudden cardiac arrest, her heart didn’t look any worse than it had days before it happened. He explained that she was at a higher risk of cardiac arrest because of her arrhythmia, but that didn’t change the treatment plan. He was hopeful that once she finished her treatments that her heart would be strong enough for them to perform a new non-invasive procedure to repair some of the damage to her heart and implant a device that would help control her arrhythmia. He also said she’d be going home with a device she could wear like a watch that would monitor her heart rate and that she would need to come in for regular checkups.

When her doctor left she spent a little time playing around online, then she pulled up the security file folder and started looking for clues in the footage again. She scoured the files most of the early morning. She’d had no idea how serious Toby had been when he’d said that the security footage was going to take forever to get through. There were so many different cameras and they were trying to cover several hours worth of footage from each camera. It was one thing when they knew what they were looking for, like Caleb had been doing when he was trying to find the footage of Aria leaving the hotel. But trying to find someone doing something suspicious during some part of the night was a lot less precise.

Emily was hyper-focused on the file she’d saved of the weird shadow in front of the camera. Caleb had showed her how to zoom in and make the image more clear, so she was staring at a higher resolution of the shadowy pattern of some kind of fabric.

“Emily?” Elliott appeared in the doorway.

“Elliott!” She jumped, a little startled.

She discreetly closed the laptop and instinctively slid her arms over the top of the computer, as if Elliott could see what she was doing even though the screen was closed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said. “You definitely don’t need any more surprises in your life for a while.”

“I’d say I’ve hit my quota.” Emily nodded in agreement.

“How are you feeling?” He gingerly walked into the room. He had a device that looked like an iPad in his hands.

“Better, thanks,” Emily said. “Did Ali send you to check in on me?” she asked curiously.

“Uh, no, your doctor did.” Elliott walked next to her bed. He saw the confusion on her face. “He didn’t tell you?” He shuffled uncomfortably. “Right. Of course he didn’t. The doctors love to leave the talking up to us,” he muttered in annoyance. “I’m sure Alison mentioned that I’m covering for a friend of mine in the mental health department while he is out of town.”

“Yeah,” Emily said. “But what does that have to do with me?”

“Sometimes with near death experiences patients can suffer psychological aftershocks. The hospital prefers that before you’re discharged you speak with someone from mental health services. I heard from the cardiologist this morning that they needed a consult before one of their patients was discharged. I didn’t realize you were the patient he was referring to until I stopped by to pick up your records a few minutes ago.”

Emily suddenly longed for the days in which Spencer’s ex, Wren Kingston was her doctor. He’d consulted her about her ulcer when she was in high school. At least she trusted Wren. Elliott sensed her tension.

“I know this might seem a little awkward, given that we know one another…”

_Yeah, that’s what’s awkward about this. Not the fact that we share a common interest in Alison._ Emily thought to herself.

“…but I promise to make it quick and painless.” He smiled nervously. He seemed as uncomfortable as Emily did. “What do you say?”

The thought of talking to Elliott about anything personal made her skin crawl. She had a hard enough time opening up to her friends about what was going on in her life. Talking to him was going to be next to impossible. But then she thought about Alison and the pleading look she had in her eyes when she thought she was going to lose her.

Ali’s words echoed in Emily’s head,

_You have to listen to your doctors._

She owed it to Ali to try.

“Sure, whatever I need to do to get out of here.” Emily feigned a smile.

“Great.” He glanced at the screen in his hand. “Let’s start with what you remember before you collapsed.”

“Um…” Emily flinched. Somehow she thought _‘Ali and I were feeling each other up’_ wasn’t the right thing to say. “I was with Ali. I remember feeling like I was going to pass out and then everything went black.” She remembered seeing the look of terror on Ali’s face. She clenched her jaw. That wasn’t something she’d ever be able to forget.

“And she was here when you woke up, right?”

Emily shifted uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to feel weird talking to me about Alison,” he said softly.

“Really? Because it feels a like we’ve got the makings of a twisted modern version of _Three’s Company_ here,” Emily uttered with a sarcastic laugh.

“Well, I’m certainly no John Ritter.” Elliott chuckled.

“My mom loved him. I used to watch reruns with her. She thought he was so hot. I never noticed. I was too busy staring at the blonde.” Emily smiled. She couldn’t deny that she had a type. She glanced at Elliott. “Uh, that won’t go in my record, will it?”

“We’ll keep that between us.” He shook his head.

There was a beat of silence.

“Are you really okay with this?” Emily asked.

“Well, it’s not ideal since we know one another, but I’m the only physician working in mental health services today, so it’s our only option.”

“No, I meant…” She hesitated. Was she really getting ready to ask Ali’s ex-boyfriend about her relationship with Ali? “I meant with me and Ali.”

“Alison loves you, and I care about her. I just want to see her happy.” He sounded sincere. “After everything she’s been through she deserves to be happy.”

“Yeah.” Emily said, almost blankly. “She does.”

Happiness had always been complicated for Alison and Emily. There had always been something standing in their way. Fear, insecurity, distance, disappearances, bullies, jail, kidnappings, people trying to kill them. The list was never-ending. And they’d somehow still come through it all. But this was different. Her health was less of an obstacle and more like a huge brick wall. It’s not like they hadn’t faced life or death situations before, but this was this was something beyond their control. Ali had told her that she was all in, but Emily wasn’t sure Alison knew what she was signing up for. They’d barely even begun their relationship and Emily had already traumatized her.

Nothing about their lives had been conventional. Why would their love life be any different? Emily had spent all of childhood dreaming of Alison coming around to her feelings and deciding that she wanted to be with Emily once and for all, but now that Emily had Alison’s devotion she was terrified of what was going to happen next. Her heart was the one with the problem, but Ali’s heart was what she was worried about. Emily knew Alison might never recover if something happened to her.

She started picking at her fingernails. She got so lost in thought she hadn’t realized that Elliott was talking again. She saw his mouth move, asking her something. He stared at her, waiting for her to respond.

“Emily?” He asked.

“Sorry. Could you say that again? I’m still a little bit groggy from my meds.” She snapped back to reality.

“It says here that you were sedated for several hours while you were recovering. Do you have any recollection of anything during that time?”

Other than the crippling darkness, the flashes to the dollhouse, and Alison’s voice, she didn’t remember anything.

“Not really.” Emily shook her head. “It was like my body was here, but my mind was completely blank.”

“Have you had any feelings of depression, mood swings, nightmares…”

Emily tensed up at the mention of nightmares.

“No,” she answered, almost too quickly. “Everything’s fine.” She added. It’s not like she hadn’t had nightmares before her heart stopped.

Elliott tapped his fingers against his knee. He opened his mouth and then closed it, smacking his lips together. His brow wrinkled in thought.

“Emily, it’s perfectly normal if you’re having trouble adjusting. You experienced something traumatic. Dealing with your emotions after something like this can be overwhelming. I’ve seen way too many patients learn the hard way that they don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I’m not alone.” Emily disagreed. She wasn’t. Not anymore. She’d probably never be alone again. Her friends would see to that. They’d probably follow her around all day like worried little bunnies. “Look, Elliott, I know you know about everything my friends and I have been through. I made it through that, and if I can make it through something like that I can pretty much make it through anything.”

He looked at her skeptically, but then lightened up and nodded his head. He asked a few more routine questions and then the consult was over. She breathed a sigh of relief when he left the room.

The morning went by extremely slow. Every time she looked at the clock she felt like it was moving backwards. She wondered if Alison was sitting in her classroom staring at the clock above her desk. She was probably grading papers and silently cursing Emily for not letting her drop everything to be by her side. Ali certainly hadn’t been happy about leaving Emily in the hospital, but Emily won out in the end. The two of them had always battled over which one of them could be more stubborn.

Emily had just finished getting her IV catheter taken out and was reading about how her new fancy watch shaped heart monitor worked when Toby walked into her room.

“Toby, hey.” She was sitting in the chair next to her bed. It felt like a taste of freedom to her.

“I hear someone gave you a get out of jail free card.” He walked over and sat down on the armrest of the chair.

“You heard right.” Emily nodded. “Are you my Parole Officer?”

“Something like that.” He smiled.

“The girls sent you to spy on me, didn’t they?” Emily laughed.

“I can not confirm nor deny that statement.” Toby shrugged.

“That’s lawyer talk. Spencer definitely sent you.”

“Ah, my cover has been blown. You’re too smart for me, Emily Fields.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. “But that’s only my secondary mission. I’m actually here for official super-spy business.” He motioned towards the laptop. “Caleb is parking the car. He brought me for reinforcements.”

“Not that I don’t love seeing you, but don’t you have a job to go to?” Emily asked.

“I worked the night shift last night.”

“And why aren’t you home getting some sleep?”

“Em, I’m a cop. Sleep isn’t a word that exists in our vocabulary.” As if his body wanted to prove him wrong, he yawned.

Emily’s phone chirped. She was a little afraid to look at it, thinking that it might be _A_ threatening to come after Caleb and Toby next, but it was just a text from Alison telling her that she was thinking about her. Emily couldn’t contain her smile.

“So…you and Ali, huh?” Toby questioned.

“Well, you know how it goes with us…one of us almost dies, the other one shows up and professes their love.” Emily quickly texted Ali back and then looked up at Toby. “I finally talked to her about the night of my dad’s funeral.”

“I assumed as much.” Toby’s face tightened, like he was worried Emily was going to be upset with him.

“You knew Ali was in love with me?” She peered at him curiously.

“Are you mad that I didn’t tell you?” Toby glanced at the ground.

Emily put her hand on Toby’s arm and smiled sweetly at him.

“No,” she said. “I know that was something that needed to come from her. The way Ali tells it, she was still trying to work through it all. On some level we’ve always loved each other. I was always more expressive about it than she was, but there were moments that she looked at me and I knew. She never really said it out loud. She didn’t have to. We fooled around a couple of times, but she always seemed to end up with someone else.”

“Yeah.” Toby’s gaze was fixed on the wall. “I remember those days.”

It seemed like Emily had forgiven Ali for her past indiscretions, but Toby remembered the stories Spencer used to tell him about Emily breaking down after Ali broke her heart. And he’d seen the pain in her eyes, despite how much she’d tried to hide it. Emily looked at him and she sensed exactly what he was thinking.

“I’m not an idiot, Toby. I know my relationship with her hasn’t always been traditional. She’s admitted there were times that she was manipulating my feelings for her when we were younger, but that was just as much my fault as it was hers…because I knew that’s what she was doing, and I let her do it anyway. I didn’t care what her motives were. I just wanted to be with her. We just get each other, you know?”

“I do.” All at once his eyes lit up in a way that Emily only saw when he was thinking about Spencer.

“Ali and I have been through so much. I wasn’t completely innocent either. God, I sent her to jail.”

Emily still felt guilty about not letting Alison get away when the police were after her for a murder she hadn’t committed. They had all believed she’d killed Mona at the time. The evidence was overwhelming, and Ali’s behavior had been erratic and suspicious. Emily should have known Ali was just acting out because she was scared. Ali always acted out when she was afraid.

“Em, that’s ancient history.” Toby shrugged.

“That’s my point exactly. Everything that happened…everything we went through, who we were…we’re in different places in our lives. We’re different. But we had to go through a lot to get here. Ali needed to come to terms with her feelings in her own time. And that night when she showed up on my porch and found you, you helped her see that. I know you set out to protect me, but in a way, I think you were protecting Ali, too.”

“It’s in my job description. To serve and protect,” he said with a smile.

“She also told me that you lied to the doctor so she could get in to see me.”

“Guilty.” Toby nodded. “That part isn’t in my job description. Don’t tell my boss. And if anyone in the hospital asks, we’re your family.”

“You guys _are_ my family.” Emily nudged him with a smile.

“One big happy dysfunctional family.” Toby laughed.

“Speaking of…what’s up with you and Spencer?” Emily questioned curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw the way the two of you were looking at one another yesterday.”

“You really don’t miss a beat, do you?”

“My heart does on occasion.” Emily smiled.

“Too soon, Em.” But he laughed anyway. “Spencer and I are…complicated.”

“Look who you’re talking to.” Emily side-eyed him. “I practically wrote the book on complicated.”

“We’ve been through a lot over the years, but nothing like the past couple of days.” He snaked his fingers through his hair.

Emily wasn’t sure what to say. “Sorry” didn’t seem good enough. In fact, it seemed to have lost all of its meaning.

“Even when you guys were missing and locked away in that dollhouse I always believed you all were alive, because I didn’t think the world would be that cruel…to take away the people I love like that.” His eyes glassed over as he replayed the events in his head. “And when we got you guys back and then Charlotte was captured I thought it was over. Our problems were solved and I was convinced there was nothing life could throw at us that we couldn’t handle. But when we found you outside that loft the other day there was this reality that hit…and I think Spencer and I realized it at the exact same time…no matter how far away we are from one another we still need each other.”

“I get that.” That’s the exact way Emily felt about Alison.

“Spence and I have always gravitated towards each other when the chips are down, but this time felt different. It’s like…we both know what’s at stake now. After we left the hospital that first night she called me. I don’t think she wanted to be alone. I know I didn’t. She came over and we talked.” He paused and then his cheeks flushed. “And then we _didn’t_ talk for a while…”

“Toby, you dog.” Emily smacked him playfully.

He smiled bashfully.

“You know, you didn’t have to do anything this dramatic to get us back together. You could have just slapped me and told me to get some common sense.”

“Would you have listened?” Emily asked.

“Probably not.” He shook his head with a laugh. “You know we men just aren’t wired to hear anything unless someone flashes us some boob.”

“Same here.” Emily grinned.

“See, this is why you’re my favorite drinking buddy.” Toby was nearly doubled over in laughter. “Don’t tell Caleb. He’d be really jealous.”

They heard footsteps approaching and a few seconds later Caleb came into the room. He noticed the looks on their faces.

“What’s going on in here?” He asked. “Why do you guys look like two kids who just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar?”

Emily and Toby looked at one another and burst out laughing.

“Great. I’m working with actual five-year-olds. It’ll be just like when I’m at the office.” Caleb pulled a laptop out of his bag and handed it to Toby. “Try to steer clear of the porn, big guy.”

“No promises.” Toby slid from the armrest of the chair to the edge of Emily’s bed. He looked at Emily and they started laughing again.

Caleb grabbed a small plastic chair and slid it between Toby and Emily. Toby cocked his head at Caleb and then rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle.

“Personal space, dude. This isn’t our fishing boat. We don’t have to pile in on top of each other.”

“We’ve got a lot of work to do today. I’m keeping you two trouble-makers separate.” Caleb shrugged with a smile. “We need to stay on task.”

“Oh, my God. Hanna, Aria, and I are all in love with teachers.” Emily snorted out a laugh.

Caleb glanced at her.

“You and Ali?” He sounded surprised. Emily had forgotten that it had only been a few days since Ali admitted her feelings for her. She assumed everyone knew, but then it occurred to her that everyone had been preoccupied with Charlotte’s murder. “So, you two are…”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded.

“Wow. About time.” Caleb laughed. He opened his laptop. “Ready, Agent Q?”

“Let’s get to it, Mr. Bond.”

They played detective up until it was time for Emily to leave. Caleb and Emily were hanging out in her room while waiting on the discharge paperwork. Toby had wanted to stick around for her release, but Emily told him to go home and get some sleep. He’d never been one to argue with her, so he did as he was told.

Emily and Caleb were looking at his computer while they were waiting. They had finally made it through every second of security footage and had marked a few things they found suspicious.

“What do you make of this guy?” Caleb pointed to a man that had been in several of the still shots. They didn’t have a clear view of his face, but they’d recognized his suit and tie more than once. “It looks like he’s wearing some kind of uniform.”

“The hotel offers a car service, but they weren’t dressed like that.” Emily bit her bottom lip in thought. “Go back to that one of the girls and me at the restaurant.” Something was sticking out in her mind about that one. Caleb flipped through the files until he found the one she was talking about. Emily glanced at it and saw the man in the corner table. It looked like he was watching them.

“Wait a second...” Caleb realized it at the same time as Emily did. “Was he following you guys?”

He blew up the image on the screen. His face was obstructed by a glass, probably placed strategically for this very reason. All that was visible was his eyes. Something about him seemed vaguely familiar. Had she seen him that night and just didn’t remember it? She looked closer at the image and saw a hand at the edge of the screen. A gloved hand. And all at once she knew where she’d seen the material in the edge of the camera in the image that had been bothering her since yesterday. She’d seen those gloves before.

It was Sara Harvey. But how was that possible if she was supposedly on a plane? Emily’s mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide. Caleb glanced at her.

“What’s up?” Caleb asked.

“That’s Sara Harvey’s driver.” Emily gawked. She pointed to the glove in the shot. “And that’s Sara Harvey.”

How the hell had they missed seeing her that night?

“Are you sure?” Caleb squinted in confusion.

“Those are the same gloves she wore to the funeral. I recognized the pattern on another file, but I couldn’t place where I’d seen it before.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s her wearing them.” Caleb shook his head.

“Who else would wear gloves to dinner?” It came out a lot more sarcastic than she had meant for it to, but Caleb didn’t bat an eye. He was used to Hanna’s caustic attitude.

“I don’t know, but it can’t be her. Look at the time stamp.” He pointed to the bottom of the screen. The image had been captured two minutes after midnight. “According to the cops, Sara was in Atlanta getting ready to board a plane heading to New York.”

“Unless it wasn’t really her on that plane,” Emily suggested.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you remember when Charlotte used Ali’s ID to flee the country when we were in high school?”

“Yeah, Hanna told me about everything that happened after you guys found Ali. She said that Charlotte…Cece…whoever the hell she was back then…killed a cop and that Ali helped her get away.” He scratched the scar above his eyebrow in thought. “You think Sara had someone pose as her on the flight the night Charlotte was killed?”

Emily knew it sounded crazy, but if it’s one thing Sara Harvey was…it was crazy.

“Crazier things have happened to us than that,” Emily said.

“Fair point.” Caleb didn’t argue. “It’s definitely worth looking in to. We should run it by Toby. See if he can get any more information about her alibi that night. And maybe I can hack into the airport security cameras to see if there’s a shot of whoever boarded that plane that can prove your theory.”

“You can do that?” Emily pulled back, impressed.

“I’ve hacked into multiple government databases and personal files of stock market owners. I could do this in my sleep,” he said with a cocky attitude.

“Just don’t get arrested. Hanna will kill me if you’re in prison on your wedding day.”

“Yeah, orange isn’t really my color.” He made a face.

Emily’s phone went off. Ali had been texting her nearly every five minutes asking her to call her as soon as she’d been released. Ali wouldn’t believe she was okay until she saw her outside of the hospital room.

“Ali again?” Caleb questioned.

“She’s worse than my mother was when I would get sick when I was little.” She read the text. “She’s going to meet us at the loft.”

“Hanna and I have a dinner tonight, so if you two want to hang the place will be empty.”

“Actually, she’s insisting that I move in with her.”

“Wow. You two love-birds move fast.” Caleb smiled.

“Says the guy who squatted in his girlfriend’s basement for weeks when he first moved to town.”

“Touche.” Caleb nodded. He laughed. “So, are you going to take her up on it?”

“Well, staying with her makes sense. We’re trying to give us a go, and it’s not like I haven’t stayed with her before. Plus with you and Hanna getting hitched you don’t need a roommate cramping your style.”

“The past few days I didn’t even realize you were there.” He teased her.

They both laughed.

“Hey, Caleb?” She turned to face him.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“You and Toby are the only ones treating me remotely normal.” Emily admitted. “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Em.” He closed the laptop and then grabbed her bag. “I’m going to throw this stuff in the car. Hopefully by the time I get back we can make like a stoner and blow this joint.”

The universe must have heard Caleb’s request, because a few minutes after he left, her grumpy nurse Ida came in with Emily’s discharge papers. Emily thanked her. Ida stared at her like she’d never been thanked before and then finally did something Emily hadn’t seen her do: she smiled. Of course, she was probably smiling because she had one less patient to contend with, but Emily took it as a win. She didn’t even wait for Caleb to come back up. She texted him to meet her in the parking lot and then all but ran for the door.

The entire ride back to the loft Emily relished seeing her town again. The town she’d spent the past five years running from suddenly didn’t seem all that bad. Being cooped up in a hospital room had really made her appreciate the stale Danishes at the supermarket and the over-priced coffee at _The Brew_. Caleb noticed her enthusiasm.

“Feels good to be free, doesn’t it?” He stopped at a red light.

“You have no idea.” She nodded. “I really appreciate the ride. I guess I’m going to have to get used to getting chauffeured around since I’m not supposed to drive for a while.” She frowned. “And I thought them taking away my caffeine was bad.”

Caleb laughed. When they got back to the loft Hanna was coming out the front door with a bag of garbage in her hands. Emily was surprised to see her taking out the trash at all, but what was more surprising was that she was doing it in three inch heels and a sequined dress. She tossed the garbage into the dumpster and turned around just as Caleb pulled into a parking space.

“Little overdressed for garbage day, aren’t you?” Emily stepped out of the car. Caleb followed her.

“Hey, Em!” Hanna said cheerily, almost bowling her over. “I thought your doctor said you were supposed to avoid anything that causes adrenaline rushes. I can’t believe you’re riding with _Too Fast, Too Furious_ here.” She nudged Caleb playfully.

“Excuse me? Who almost ran off the road last month because she was distracted by a billboard with a _Tiffany’s_ sale on it?” Caleb cocked his head and gave Hanna a teasing look.

“They had matching sets of diamond pieces for half price. We would have been fools if we didn’t look into it.” Hanna leaned in and kissed him.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He smiled. He looked at his watch. “I should get changed so we can head out.” He glanced at Emily. “You want me to grab your stuff?”

“I think I can handle it.” Emily gave him a thankful smile. “Thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he said. “I’ll keep you posted about what Toby and I find out.”

“Sounds good.” Emily opened the back door to grab the few essentials her friends had brought to the hospital. She looked around for Alison’s car. She knew she was around somewhere. “So, where is she?” Emily faced Hanna

“Upstairs packing your things.” Hanna glanced towards the loft.

“Of course she is.” Emily laughed.

“Yep. She tells me you’re going to leave me and Caleb footing the rent all by ourselves.”

“Like Lucas would ever make you pay a penny for anything.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Besides, you can afford it, little Mrs. Fashionista.”

They walked into the building. When they walked into the loft Ali’s face lit up. The way Alison looked at her like she was seeing her for the first time made Emily love her even more.

“Hi, honey, I’m home.” Emily smiled sheepishly.

They talked about Ali’s first day back at school as they finished packing up Emily’s things. Caleb and Hanna couldn’t help but smile watching them act like an old married couple. Ali took Emily’s bag out to the car. Emily thanked Hanna and Caleb for everything and then headed after Ali.

“Ready?” Ali asked when she saw her coming.

Emily just smiled at her. She felt like she was right where she belonged. All of her fears and insecurities melted away. She didn’t think about the future. She just wanted to be with her in the present. Wherever Ali went is where she wanted to be. When she was with her she wasn’t thinking of everything that could go wrong. She was thinking about everything that was going right.


	16. What Lies Beneath

The next few days were a blur. Waking up next to Alison in the mornings was a dream for Emily. The first morning she woke up in Alison’s bed she had stared at her girlfriend in awe while she slept. She had a finer appreciation for everything after getting out of the hospital. Being next to Alison was a comfort to her. It offset the nightmares she was having. Wherever her mind had gone when her heart stopped seemed to have opened up every single door inside her head she’d slammed shut years ago. She usually woke up in the mornings, her palms slick with sweat and her jaw tense from clenching it all night long. But then all she had to do was look at the sleeping beauty beside her and she’d come down from her nightmares.

When Alison’s alarm went off for school on Friday morning Emily welcomed the interruption. She’d been dreaming about being back in the dollhouse. She was trapped in a dark box filling up with icy water. At first she thought she’d been tossed into the ocean, but the water that splashed into her mouth didn’t have the salty taste of the beach. She had been completely submerged within a matter of minutes. She’d tried to remain calm at first. She knew that the quicker she panicked the quicker she’d run out of air. She flashed back to all of her swimming safety lectures. Unfortunately, she’d never learned how to handle being waterboarded. Her lungs were starting to burn when a loud buzzing noise screamed through the air. When she woke up she realized it wasn’t the alarm at the bunker, but the alarm on Ali’s phone.

Alison wasn’t in bed. She came stumbling into the room and rushed over to her phone to shut it off.

“Sorry, I meant to turn that off. I woke up early.” Ali quickly silenced her phone.

Emily glanced at the clock. It was 6:15. Ali was already dressed and had her make-up on for school. She had to have been up for at least an hour, but she didn’t have to be at school for another hour.

“What are you doing up so early?” Emily yawned. She sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. She put her feet against the floor.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Ali shrugged. She looked at Emily with a soft expression on her face. “You were tossing in your sleep again.”

“Sorry.” Emily glanced at her remorsefully. “I’ve had some trouble getting back to a normal sleeping pattern since I left the hospital.”

“But you’ve been feeling okay, right?” Ali asked in anticipation.

“Yeah, I’ve felt fine since they changed the dosage on my meds,” Emily replied.

“When is your follow up?”

“Ali, we talked about this. You’re acting like a worried mother again.” Emily glared at her.

“I nag because I care.” Ali pressed her lips together in a tight smile.

“You know, there’s other ways to show you care.” Emily reached for Ali’s arms and gently pulled her towards the bed.

“Oh, yeah?” Ali lifted her brows mischievously. She leaned over Emily and put her hand on Emily’s face. “Like this?” She kissed her on the lips. Emily could taste her cherry flavored lip gloss. “Or…this?” Her lips grazed Emily’s cheek and then she trailed a line of kisses down her jawline.

Emily’s heart sped up in her chest when she felt Alison’s hot breath on her neck. She wrapped her arm around Alison’s waist to pull her closer. She put her free hand on Alison’s cheek. Alison put her forehead against Emily’s and looked into her eyes and smiled.

“You are absolutely stunning, you know that?” Alison kissed her again, softer this time.

“We have an hour before you have to get to school.” Emily grinned seductively.

Ali pulled back and sighed. She had a pensive look on her face.

“I have to finish grading papers.”

“So, just give them all passing grades and call it a day.” Emily shrugged.

“That would be unethical.” Ali laughed.

“Oh, say _unethical_ again. I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Emily shot her a teasing look.

“I have to go to work now.” Ali rolled her eyes and smiled.

Emily saw an anxious expression hidden behind her calm demeanor. Ali had always had more going on beneath the surface than other people realized. Emily had learned her tells over the years. Her eyes had a light vulnerability in them. Her lips twitched and her face looked tense. Emily could tell something else was bothering her. She hadn’t been acting like herself since the first night Emily had come to stay with her.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Emily questioned curiously.

“What do you mean?” A strange look washed across her face. “What else would it be? You think I’m living some secret life on the side or something?” She paused and then shook her head, realizing just how often she’d done that when they were younger. “Wait, don’t answer that.”

“You just seem distracted,” Emily said.

Ali had been really hesitant in the bedroom. She had been very loving, but she had also tiptoed around becoming too passionate with Emily. She had been less than willing to do anything more than making out or cuddling. It frustrated Emily to no end. She suspected that Ali was afraid she’d drop dead at the first trace of excitement in the bedroom.

“I’m not going to fall apart if we get a little hot and heavy.” Emily assured her.

“It’s been three days since you got here.” Ali scoffed. She seemed surprised at what Emily was insinuating.

“I know, and it’s not like I was expecting we’d reenact the whole series of _The L Word_ , but I thought we might at least jump out of the _PG_ territory. I feel like I’m living in a Disney movie here.” She climbed out of bed.

“You’re reading way too much in to this.” Ali quickly brushed her off. “I’m just trying to get caught up with my school work. That’s all.” She grabbed her purse from atop her dresser and started digging around for her keys. “You’re the one who convinced me to go back. As I recall you said something about educating the future leaders of America.”

“You shouldn’t have listened to me. I was hopped up on drugs.” Emily joked. She walked up behind Alison and wrapped her arms around her. She nuzzled her neck and then leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Come on, I’ll make you some breakfast before you go.”

“I’ve got a Power Bar and my coffee.”

“That’s not a _real_ breakfast.” Emily disapproved. “Give me five minutes and I’ll make you something with some nutritional value.”

“I can’t. I really need to get going.” Ali pulled her keys out and turned around to face Emily. “How about I fix you dinner when I get home instead?”

“ _You’re_ going to cook?” Emily laughed. “Like…with actual ingredients?”

“Who do you think prepared the spread for dinner for everyone last week?” Ali asked.

“Honestly? I assumed it was Elliott.” Emily gave her a hard time.

“You underestimate me, Emily.” Ali shook her head with a laugh. “I learned a lot in that five years we were apart. I can make a sweet potato pie that would rival your mother’s.”

“You can never tell her that. She’d never speak to you again.” Emily huffed out a laugh.

“Who do you think taught me?” Ali lifted her brows and smiled.

“You and my mom _baked_ together? She never mentioned that.”

Ali’s expression suddenly became somber. She looked at the ground.

“It was before my dad died.” Emily quickly realized why Ali’s mood had changed so drastically.

“Yeah. About two weeks before it happened she ran into me at the supermarket and saw me buying ingredients to make a pie to take to Charlotte. I was apparently buying the wrong brand of filling,” she said. “…and the wrong type of flour for the pie crust, and the wrong...well, everything. She’s very particular about her baking supplies.” She tried to make a serious face, but her smile was beaming through.

“You’re telling me.” Emily nodded in agreement. “She went into crisis mode one Thanksgiving because she didn’t have the exact amount of baking soda one of her recipes called for. My dad and I had to go door to door until we found someone who had like a half a teaspoon she could use to finish the recipe.”

“Are we still on for dinner with her tomorrow night?” Ali asked.

“Yeah. I think so.” Emily walked over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. “She left a message for me to call her yesterday, but I never got a chance to call her back. She wanted me to swing by today. I’m betting it’s to talk about the menu.”

She scrolled through her missed calls. She had one from Spencer and one from Aria. She bit her lip. They weren’t any closer to finding Charlotte’s killer. Caleb had been able to hack the security cameras at the airport, but he hadn’t been able to recover one clear picture of whoever it was using Sara’s ID. They couldn’t prove that it wasn’t her. Toby hadn’t had any luck tracking the man from the rental car company that had been driving her around either. But on the plus side, the cops weren’t any closer to finding out who called Charlotte from the hotel that night.

The girls could practically feel _A_ breathing down their necks. Their new psycho stalker was working overtime. In the past three days, _A_ had sabotaged an important work dinner of Hanna’s, released some damaging information about the Hastings’ past to try and smear Spencer’s mother’s campaign, and had stolen a flashdrive of a manuscript for a novel that Aria was in charge of promoting and sent the contents to the press. Emily knew her turn was coming, but she didn’t want to think about what _A_ was planning to do to her.

Caleb and Toby had both figured out that there was something more going on. They had become extremely suspicious that their investigative work was more than just the girls trying to clear themselves by leading police in the right direction. Caleb had pressed Hanna on it until she caved and told him the truth about _A_ being back. Spencer also let Toby in the loop. The girls had been afraid of retribution at first, but _A_ was silent about both of them knowing.

On one hand, Emily was relieved that they knew, because there was strength in numbers. On the other hand, she felt guiltier and guiltier about not telling Alison. But _A_ had made it crystal clear that he or she didn’t want Ali to know, and every time Emily even thought about bringing it up to her she thought about that photo she had gotten threatening Ali. And she’d received another text shortly after she left the hospital saying Emily would be visiting Ali in the morgue if she let on that anything was going on.

At first she didn’t understand why _A_ was okay with Toby and Caleb knowing, but not Ali. Then she realized that _A_ probably thought that Caleb and Toby would be helpful in solving the case, but that because Ali was so gung-ho about working with the cops to find Charlotte’s killer it would hinder whatever sick plan was in motion for that person. _A_ wanted Charlotte’s killer to themselves.

Emily kissed Alison goodbye and then went to take a shower. After her shower she took her meds and gave herself her shot, grabbed some breakfast, and went into the living room to watch TV. The TV was more or less background noise to her this early in the morning. She didn’t even bother to flip through the channels. She left it on some talk show about fashion and drifted off in thought.

She looked at the photos around the room. There were several of Ali and Jason as kids and a couple of Ali and Charlotte after Charlotte had been taken to Welby. In the most recent photo of them, Charlotte looked happy and healthy. Ali also had quite a few group shots of all of the girls together. One was taken shortly before she had disappeared. They all looked so young and happy. The one right next to it was a picture of all of them standing outside Spencer’s barn together. It had been taken shortly after graduation. Emily sighed. She didn’t regret her time in California, but all she could think about was all the time she’d missed with Alison. She hadn’t been back in town very long, but she couldn’t remember how she’d survived for five years without Ali.

She turned her attention back to the TV. She could hear the things being said, but she wasn’t really listening. Her lack of sleep was starting to catch up with her. She felt herself drifting off and she was too tired to fight it. The TV kept her from sleeping too deep, but she preferred it that way. It was almost like an anchor to reality. She was afraid the tether between the real world and her nightmares would snap and she’d get lost in the dollhouse of her mind and never be able to find her way back.

When she heard the noise from the television suddenly stop, she immediately snapped to attention. Her eyes shot open. The screen was blank, but then she heard a click and the television flickered back to life. The picture was shaky at first, but then it came into perfect view. At first she didn’t believe what she was seeing. It was video of her…in the dollhouse. She drew her legs up and instinctively tried to push back, but the armrest of the couch stopped her from toppling over. She fumbled for the remote and tried to change the channel, but it was the same on every station. She stumbled to her feet and walked over to the TV to unplug it. When she was within inches of the screen, the footage of her disappeared and a message flashed on the screen.

_“Charlotte loved playing with all of you in the dollhouse, but you were always my favorite. You were the hardest to crack, but I did it once. I can do it again.”_

She heard a noise behind her, but before she could turn around, someone grabbed her. A gloved hand covered her mouth. She looked down and saw a white rag being shoved against her lips. She tried to scream, but she didn’t have any air in her lungs. When she breathed in she felt faint. She tried to wiggle free, but she could feel herself slipping out of consciousness. Before she blacked out she heard a faint whisper,

“You’re running out of time. Go back before it’s too late.” Her ears were ringing, so she couldn’t make out anything about the voice.

_Go back where?_

Slowly, the ringing in her ears dissipated. After what felt like an eternity of silence she was able to hear clearly again. She opened her eyes and was staring at the ceiling in Ali’s house. She was back on the couch. She jumped to her feet and looked around the room. She ran to the front door, expecting there to be a cement wall behind it, but when she opened it a beam of sunlight hit her face.

She looked around the neighborhood and breathed a sigh of relief. She was still in Ali’s house. She slowly closed the door and then walked over to the TV. She swallowed a knot in her throat and then turned it on. A peppy smiling woman was giving the forecast for the week. She looked around the house and then nervously ran her fingers down the length of her face.

“God, get a grip,” she muttered to herself.

She grabbed her phone and sat back down. She called her mom, but she didn’t answer. In the message she’d left for Emily yesterday she said for her to come by in the morning, because she had to leave for work at noon. Emily glanced at the clock. It was almost ten. She grabbed her things and headed towards her house.

The fresh air helped clear her head. By the time she turned down her street all of her jitters had subsided. She smiled when her house came into view. She saw her mother on the porch swing. Emily waved, but Pam didn’t wave back. She seemed lost in thought. She was fiddling with an envelope in her hands. She put the piece of paper down next to her and acknowledged Emily when she walked towards the steps.

“Hey.” Emily climbed the stairs and sat down beside her mother.

“Hey,” she replied quietly with a cool half-smile. She looked at Emily uneasily.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back yesterday. Things have been hectic lately. I’ve had a lot going on.” Emily stared out at the street in front of them and thought about the past week.

Pam nodded absentmindedly and then let out a heavy sigh. Over the years Emily had become accustomed to all of her mother’s different subconscious cues. She knew the difference between Pam’s sighs of sadness and grunts of irritation. She knew how to read her mom’s emotions fairly well, but she couldn’t get a read on what was going through her mind at that moment.

“Is everything okay?” Emily asked.

Her mother pressed her lips together and stared at her. Her chin started to wobble and her eyes filled with tears.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Emily put her hand on top of her mother’s.

“Emily, I just…” She sighed. Her voice sounded strange, like she’d been crying. “I’m trying to understand…” She glanced up towards the sky and took a moment to gather her emotions.

“Understand what?” Emily could hear the desperation in her voice.

“I know there’s a lot I don’t know…” Pam’s voice quivered, “…you don’t talk to me like you used to. I just thought you were busy. I never would have guessed…” Pam grabbed the envelope she’d been mindlessly playing with when Emily was walking up the driveway. “Maybe you can explain this.”

Emily took the envelope. It was addressed to her home address here in Rosewood even though she hadn’t lived here in five years and all of her mail was supposed to be going to her place in California. The letter was from Pepperdine. Emily tensed up as she opened the envelope. She saw the official college seal. She didn’t even need to read the letter to know what it said.

“Was it all just lies?” Pam asked in disbelief.

“Mom, I…”

“When did you drop out?”

Emily squeezed the letter in between her fingers. She opened her mouth to respond, but she fumbled over her words. All she could do was stutter out a bunch of unintelligible gibberish. She buried her face in her hands and then let out a frustrated grunt.

“I’m so sorry.” She took a deep breath. “You have every right to be angry with me…”

“I’m not angry,” Pam said sadly. “I’m just confused.”

Pam didn’t have it in her heart to be mad at her daughter. She’d seen her struggle before. She knew Emily internalized when she was hurting. She still blamed some of that on herself. When Emily was little she hadn’t been very open-minded. Emily had learned at an early age that suppressing her emotions was easier than dealing with Pam’s strict attitude.

She had always been hard on Emily. She had just wanted the best for her, but in pushing her so hard about everything in her life she had inadvertently pushed her away. Emily dealt with a lot on her own because she’d been afraid to talk to her. Pam had apologized time and time again for the mistakes she’d made, and even though Emily had been extremely quick to forgive her Pam still felt as though she’d failed her daughter so many times in her life.

Through the years they had learned to rely on one another. She saw her daughter opening up in ways she’d missed out on when she was a child. They had grown inseparable, but every so often Emily fell back on her old habits of shutting her out when she was dealing with her emotions. When Emily was a child Pam never noticed when she was hiding her pain, but after everything the two of them had been through she had become extremely in tune to her daughter’s emotions. She had learned to see past Emily’s poker face and she knew when something was troubling her. She saw something in Emily’s expression that she’d never seen before. She’d never seen her daughter look so defeated.

“Emily, what is going on with you?” Pam asked.

Emily looked everywhere except into her mother’s eyes. She didn’t even know to begin to explain what she was going through. She wanted nothing more than her mother to get angry at her. Anything was better than seeing the tears in her eyes.

“It wasn’t something I decided to do. It just happened.” Emily swallowed a knot in her throat.

“But how? I mean…did you get kicked out?”

“No. It wasn’t like that,” Emily sighed. “I just…I fell behind. My grades slipped and I lost my scholarship. Then I…” She flashed back to sitting in her cardiologist’s office when she got the news about her heart. “…I don’t know.” She looked down at the porch.

“Honey,” Pam’s voice was trembling with emotion, “why didn’t you call me if you were going through something?”

“I didn’t want you to worry. You freaked out if I skipped a meal. I didn’t know how to tell you I was skipping school.”

“But why lie?”

“I panicked.” Emily admitted. “It just spun and spiraled out of control.”

“And all that stuff about graduate school and _The Salk Institute_? I mean, do you even have a job? How are you planning on getting by?”

“I’m figuring it out,” Emily assured her.

Pam started to respond, but then she glanced down and shook her head. Emily looked down too, unable to stomach the look of disappointment on her mother’s face. Emily stared at her bare wrist and she realized she’d forgotten to put her heart monitor back on after her shower this morning. Ali was going to freak if she found out.

“What else have you been lying to me about?” Her mother broke the awkward silence.

_Where do I even start?_ She asked herself.

Emily took a deep breath and then forced herself to look at her mother, but when she looked her in the eyes she couldn’t speak. Her mother’s eyes were begging… _pleading_ with her to talk to her, but every time Emily started to say something her brain shut down and she couldn’t form the right words. So she just stayed quiet.

Pam stood up and walked to the edge of the porch. She squeezed her arms against her ribs and rubbed her hands against her forearms. Emily had inherited that nervous tic from her. She was a lot like her mother. They were both insanely protective to the point that it drove people crazy and they were both better at putting everyone else first. It was those very qualities that were making it difficult for Emily to talk to her mom about her heart.

“I’ve got a lot I’ve got to do before I go in to work.” Pam turned to face her. “I need to get going. If you’re hungry there’s chicken salad in the fridge.”

“Is there anything I can help with?” Emily stood up.

“I don’t think so.” Something in her mother’s tone told Emily that she needed to be alone.

Pam went to get her things and then walked out to her car. Emily wanted to go after her, but she resisted the urge. She didn’t know what she could possibly say to make the situation better. After her mother drove away she stayed on her old front porch for a while thinking about the days before her life had become so complicated.

Her phone beeped. Hoping it was from her mother, she grabbed it and looked at it. Anger surged through her body when she read the text.

_“Tick tock, Emily. If I don’t get a name soon I’ll send mommy a lot more than a postcard from Pepperdine. After all, your life is just full of heart stopping adventures.”_

Attached to the message was a picture of her medical records.

“Two messages in one day. To what do I owe this honor?” Emily ground her teeth together.

Of course, the first message had been some warped nightmare…at least she thought it was a nightmare. She wasn’t sure anymore. _A_ was reaching out and tainting every part of her life. She curled her fingers into tightly wound fists and fought the urge to smash her phone into a million pieces. She got up and started pacing around the porch, but when that didn’t calm her down she decided to take a walk. What she wanted more than anything was to run her frustration off, but her doctor hadn’t cleared her for strenuous activity yet. So she had to settle for walking. She walked through town and ended up at the park where she and her friends used to play. It was virtually empty except for a couple of joggers. She sat down on a bench overlooking the swings. She thought about texting Ali, but she didn’t dare pull out her phone and look it for fear that _A_ would send a bunch of other things to taunt her with. She’d had enough of the _A_ monster for the day. Instead of focusing on phantom TVs, nightmares, and radioactive technology Emily closed her eyes and focused on the sound of the wind and the warmth of the sun on her face. She struggled to find the good to overshadow the bad.

“Emily Fields.” She heard a familiar voice from behind her.

She opened her eyes and turned around. She recognized the tall stocky woman immediately. Linda Tanner hadn’t changed one bit since Emily had last seen her five years ago. Her curly frayed hair was combed neatly on top of her head and pulled back out of her face. She was sporting a professional blazer with matching dress pants and beautiful, but sensible footwear. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and a smug smile on her face.

_Oh, come on..._ Emily grumbled in thought. This day was going from bad to worse.

“Lieutenant Tanner, hey,” Emily’s tone was polite, but not overly-inviting.

“You are quite a hard woman to track down.” She walked in front of Emily. “Mind if I sit?”

Emily gestured to the bench and nodded. Tanner sat down and made herself comfortable. She loudly took a sip of her coffee and let out an overly-confident sigh. It took all of Emily’s self-control not to knock the coffee out of her hand.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” Tanner had a subtle edge in her voice that made her sound like a child teasing another child.

Emily smiled and then shrugged. She wasn’t in the talking mood. All Emily could hear in her head was Spencer shrieking at her not to say a word. And she could see _A_ ’s message taunting her in her mind. She had plenty of reasons not to say anything.

“You’re quite the chatterbox.” Tanner turned to her with a fake smile on her face.

“I came here for the peace and quiet.” Emily averted the cop’s gaze.

“Oh, I imagine so,” Tanner said. “From what I hear you have had an eventful time since you’ve been back in town.”

Emily flinched. How much did she know? She had always hated the way Tanner played cat and mouse with them. It’s like the woman was waiting for them to confess to everything wrong they’d ever done…and to everything bad that happened that they had nothing to do with.

“If I’m being perfectly honest I’m surprised to see you out and about so soon. Tell me, how does a young healthy person such as yourself end up in the hospital?” Her face tightened into a concerned expression, but her voice still sounded like a cop fishing for answers.

“Academic research,” Emily replied caustically.

“I find that hard to believe.” Tanner laughed.

“What does my hospital stay have to do with anything?” Emily shrugged.

“You’re right. That’s none of my business.” Tanner backed off. She knew she was in the wrong for once. “You know what _is_ my business? The murder of a young girl…a young girl that you and your friends knew _very_ intimately.”

“Not by choice,” Emily muttered.

“Huh, sounds like you still had some unresolved feelings towards Miss DiLaurentis,” Tanner said.

“If that had been the case I wouldn’t have lobbied for her release at her hearing,” Emily’s tone was cool and detached.

“I am glad you brought that up.” Tanner took another sip of her coffee. “Your friend, Miss Montgomery…she was against Charlotte being released, was she not?”

Emily froze, unsure of how to answer. The Spencer voice in her head was telling her to ask for a lawyer, but her protective instinct overshadowed that voice.

“Aria’s testimony has nothing to do with this. She didn’t say anything in that hearing that wasn’t true. Charlotte DiLaurentis tortured us. Just because she’s dead doesn’t mean she was a saint when she was alive. She put a lot of people through hell. She killed one of your own, or have you forgotten that?”

“We are well aware of her checkered past…”

“Are you? Because you certainly seem to want to gloss over it and make me and my friends out to be the monsters.”

“That’s certainly not my intention.” Her face looked sincere, but her voice sounded duplicitous. Emily rolled her eyes. “If I’ve learned anything from working on cases that involve you and your friends…it’s that you girls always know more than what you tell us.”

“ _That’s_ what you learned?” Emily huffed out an angry breath. “You know, you were the one who rescued us from that bunker five years ago.”

Technically, it had been Alison, Caleb, Toby, and Ezra who had come to their rescue, but Tanner had been involved in the missing persons’ case from the start and she had worked with a full team tirelessly trying to find and rescue the girls.

“Yes, but you girls only found yourself in that position because you weren’t completely honest with me.”

“We tried to be and you locked us up.” Emily reminded her.

“Well, can you blame me? All the lies…all the cover-ups? Try to see it from my perspective. I was just following the facts, which is exactly what I’m doing now.” She glanced out at the playground. “You were right about one thing. This town is quiet. Or it had been. What happened to Charlotte DiLaurentis is the first homicide we’ve had here in five years. All the time you and your friends weren’t here…no murders. But the second you girls get back to town…” She drifted off.

“What exactly are you insinuating?” Emily snapped.

“I just think that’s a very interesting statistic. Don’t you?”

“I don’t know about statistics.” Emily brushed her off. “I just know Alison deserves answers.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” Tanner smiled. “It’s nice to know we all want the same thing. It’s a relief to know that you and your friends will cooperate to the full extent of the law. My associates and I have already spoken to your friends. I find it very convenient that you were all together the night Charlotte was killed. You were all at _The Radley_ , correct?”

“We were together catching up.” Emily said through her teeth. She felt like she was being questioned. She also knew that unless Tanner read her her rights that nothing she said would be admissible in a court of law.

“All night?” Tanner sounded surprised.

“We hadn’t seen each other in a long time.”

“That’s very interesting. I’m sure the security footage will corroborate your story,” Tanner said. “We’ve got our best people working on it.”

Emily’s phone rang, interrupting the conversation. She looked down and saw that it was Aria.

_Saved by the bell._ Emily breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ve got to take this.” Emily stood up.

“Of course.” Tanner followed her lead. “You have a great day, Miss Fields. I’ll be in touch.” She walked towards the garbage can to dispose of her coffee cup.

Emily quickly went in the opposite direction and answered her phone.

“Hey,” she said quietly into the speaker. She glanced back, half expecting to see Tanner following her to eavesdrop, but Tanner was almost to her car in the parking lot. “I just ran into Tanner…”

“Em…” Aria interrupted her.

“She’s really gunning for us for some reason.” Emily ignored the interruption. “She was pushing me for information about that night at the hotel and our history with Charlotte.”

“Em…”

“God, she’s got some nerve. She knows about everything we went through and she _still_ doesn’t believe us when we tell her we’re innocent…”

“Emily!” Aria exclaimed to try and get her attention. Emily finally stopped speaking. Aria took the opportunity to talk. “There was a development in Nicole’s case.”

“What?” Emily’s heart leaped into her throat.

Nicole had been missing for so long that the case had gone cold. Usually the only time there was a break in a case like hers was when…

“They found her body,” Aria said softly. “Her parents identified her this morning. I thought you should know. It’s going to be all over the news soon. I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

“Yeah, sorry, I…it’s been a hectic morning.” Emily pushed her hair behind her ears. “How is Ezra doing?”

“He’s…” She couldn’t find the right words, “…I don’t know. Clearly he’s hurting, but he also seems to have this sense of closure. He spent all this time not knowing for certain what happened to her. Now he knows. Obviously, it’s not what he wanted, but at least he has answers.”

“Yeah, I remember what that was like.” She’d felt the same way after Alison disappeared.

“Em, are _you_ okay? I know this is kind of a bombshell. She was your friend, too.”

“I still have the last e-mail she sent me a month before she disappeared.” Emily admitted. “I never got back to her.”

She teared up. She remembered the first time she’d met Nicole on a mission for _Habitat for Humanity_. Emily had been a wreck over the death of her girlfriend, Maya. Nicole had helped her work through her heartache. That felt like a lifetime ago, but hearing about Nicole’s death made the memories fresh in her mind. Aria gave her the details of what she knew about Nicole and then Emily told her what was going on with Tanner. She talked to Aria until she got back to Ali’s house. She was surprised to see Ali’s car out front. When she walked in the front door she found Ali at the bottom of the stairs walking towards the front door.

“I gotta go, Aria,” Emily said goodbye and then they both hung up. “Hey.” Emily looked at Ali in confusion. “What are you doing home so early?”

“I heard about Nicole. Aria called me.” She met Emily in the living room. “She said she couldn’t reach you and I got worried.”

“So, you ditched class for me?” Emily asked.

“I bribed May to cover for me.” Ali shrugged. She gave Emily a peck on the lips. “I’ve got to cover her breakfast cafeteria duties next week, but it’s worth it.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“You seemed upset when I left this morning,” Ali said. “And after I found out about Nicole I didn’t feel right leaving you to deal on your own. How are you holding up?”

“Strangely, that wasn’t even the most upsetting part of my day.” Emily plopped down on the sofa.

“What happened?” Ali settled in next to her.

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” Emily laid her head against Ali’s shoulder. She pushed her arm against Ali’s and took her hand. “Can you just…be here with me?”

“Of course. Whatever you need, Em.” Alison reached up and stroked her hair. “I’m here.”

Alison’s touch calmed all of her nerves almost immediately. She nearly melted when the heat from Alison’s skin pressed against hers. Emily closed her eyes and breathed in Alison’s intoxicating smell. She took a moment to appreciate the fact that no matter what was going wrong in her life, she had the one thing that mattered to her going right. She could deal with everything else as long as she had her girlfriend by her side.


	17. Death Ain't Nothin' But a Heartbeat Away

Emily’s mom called her to check in when the news of Nicole’s death broke that afternoon. She’d seen it on the news and recognized Nicole’s name and photo. She told Emily if she wanted to postpone their weekend dinner, she’d understand. Emily thought the suggestion to hold off on dinner was as much for her mother as it was for her, though Pam didn’t mention their conversation about Emily dropping out of school once. The only thing she talked about was how badly she felt for Nicole’s parents.

“Her mom and dad must be devastated,” Pam said sadly. “I can’t even imagine. No parent should have to outlive their child.”

Emily cringed as Pam talked about Nicole’s parents being left to grieve their daughter. If something happened to her she wasn’t sure how her mother would be able to go on living. One of Emily’s biggest fears about her heart problems wasn’t that she could die, but that if she did die…she’d be leaving her mother all alone.

Pam ended their conversation by asking Emily if she could have Nicole’s parents’ contact information so she could send them something to show her sympathy. Emily told her she’d get the information and get back to her. Before they hung up Pam made it a point to tell Emily she loved her, which made Emily feel like crap because of all the lies she’d been telling her.

Eventually she knew she was going to have to talk to her mom about Pepperdine…and everything else, but for the moment Pam’s focus had shifted from one problem to another. Nicole’s death had granted Emily a reprieve for a little while, but her mother would want to talk more when Emily was ready. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready to tell her mom what she was going through. She’d thought about getting her plastered on wine to help lessen the blow, but Pam was very reserved about her alcohol intake ever since she’d gotten locked in the DiLaurentis basement with Ella Montgomery, Veronica Hastings, and Ashley Marin. The girls still couldn’t talk about how their mothers had gotten out of that basement without dying in hysterics. Their mothers did not find it as humorous.

Emily didn’t bring up the conversation she’d had with her mom or her run-in with Tanner to Alison. She spent most of the day talking to Ali about her summer with Nicole. It felt weird to miss someone she hadn’t seen in so long, but they had built more than houses together. They’d built a friendship that Emily had really needed at that point in her life. They had really bonded that summer.

“She was the kind of friend who you could go for months without speaking to, but the second you met up with her again it’s like you hadn’t missed a beat,” Emily explained. “She was just a positive person who saw the light in every situation. But she wasn’t so obsessed with the good that she was naïve to the bad. When I talked to her about Maya she didn’t try to sugarcoat it and tell me everything was going to be okay. She just let me feel what I was feeling.”

Emily had always felt like a part of her had died with Maya. She paused when she realized she’d brought up her old girlfriend. Was it weird to be talking about her to Ali? She looked into Alison’s patient blue eyes to try and get a read on what was going on through her head. Her face was unwavering. She mindlessly traced her fingers along Emily’s arms to comfort her. As if she could tell what Emily was thinking, she smiled softly and assured her it was okay.

“I know you loved her,” she said. “I know how much it destroyed you when she died.” She swallowed hard. “I never told you this, but I was there that night…when they found her.”

“What?” Emily stared at her in surprise.

“I found out there was a bunch of activity happening in the neighborhood and I heard the police dispatch emergency response units to your house,” she explained. “I was terrified that something had happened to you. I knew it was a risk, but I came anyway.”

“You...were there?” She’d heard Ali say the words, but they hadn’t sunk in.

“I stayed in the shadows waiting on any shred of information I could get. When the coroner showed up I thought I was going to lose it. It killed me not knowing if you were okay.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “I thought the worst. I kept thinking that _A_ had gotten to you...that I failed to protect you. But then I saw you and the girls and I realized all of you were safe. When I saw you, for a split second all I could think about was how relieved I was that you weren’t hurt. But then I remembered I was at a crime scene and it all came crashing down.” She looked at Emily with tears in her eyes. “When your mom told you about Maya I saw something inside of you break. I watched you fall apart. It was...awful.”

“I remember.” Emily fought back her emotions.

She’d worked really hard to forget the pain she’d felt, but there were certain things about that night she’d remember for the rest of her life. How she’d felt like the ground beneath her feet was splitting open and swallowing her whole. How she’d heard someone sobbing loudly...only to realize it was her own cries of sorrow. How Aria and Spencer had grabbed her and kept her from collapsing. How Hanna had reached out and told her they loved her. How she’d internally screamed for some cosmic being to take her instead. How she’d wanted so badly just to curl up and die. And how Spencer had held her tighter as she wished for death.

Ali saw Emily’s emotions flash across her face and she felt her guilt weighing heavily upon her.

“When I saw what you were going through my heart broke for you. I wanted nothing more than to run over and hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay. I wish I could have been there for you. I _should_ have been there for you. You don’t know how much I regret that I wasn’t. I was so selfish. There is so much I wish I could go back and change...”

“You’ve got to let that go, Ali. I have. We were young. You were scared. I get that. What matters is that you’re here now.” Emily smiled warmly at her.

“Stop being so understanding. I’m trying to self-loathe here.” Ali frowned in a joking manner.

“I mean it. You’re too hard on yourself.” Emily pushed a stray strand of Ali’s hair behind her ear.

They talked for a little bit longer and then Ali mentioned making something to eat. She insisted on keeping her promise to make dinner for Emily, even though Emily told her that take-out would be fine.

“Let me worry about dinner.” Ali walked towards the kitchen. “Why don’t you go take a nice relaxing bath? I’ve got Eucalyptus and Tea Tree Oil incense in the cabinet. Using it always seems to help me unwind after I’ve had a stressful day.”

“Got anything to help someone unwind after a stressful year?” Emily asked hopefully.

“Nothing that doesn’t come out of a liquor cabinet.”

“Eucalyptus and Tea Tree Oil it is then.” Emily shrugged. She walked towards the stairs.

“Hey, Em? Make sure to put your heart monitor back on.” Ali called out after her.

“You noticed, huh?” Emily asked sheepishly.

“The second you walked through the door.”

“I took it off to shower this morning. I forgot to put it back on. I’m still trying to get used to having it.”

Ali had a look on her face like she wanted to scold her, but she didn’t say anything. She just nodded and then walked into the kitchen.

Emily tried to relax and unwind, but she had too much on her mind. She thought back to all the times stress had kept her up at night in high school. She’d always internalized things to the point where her mind was constantly racing and she couldn’t settle down. She was starting to get to that point. Her brain would not shut up.

After she gave up on her quest of trying to relax she went to see if Ali needed any help in the kitchen. She assured Emily that she had it under control. Twenty minutes later they were enjoying the salmon and vegetable medley she’d prepared. Emily praised her cooking, making Ali blush. They had a nice pleasant meal, with both of them trying to keep the conversation light and cheery. Just as they were finishing up Ali’s phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and tensed up. She hesitated, but then answered it.

“Hello?” Ali asked. After a few seconds she responded to someone on the other end. “Oh, hello, Lieutenant Tanner.”

Emily put her fork down and snapped to attention.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Ali stood up and paced a few steps away from the table. “Really? That’s weird.” There was another pause. “No, I don’t think so.” Another break in the conversation. “I’m aware of what I said, but that was before I’d had time to think things over.” She furrowed her brow in thought. “Right. Exactly. No, I understand.” Ali nodded seriously. “Thanks for letting me know.”

She hung up her phone and then put it down on the table. She looked at Emily, who was waiting on an explanation. Ali didn’t say anything.

“What was that about?” Emily asked.

“She knows the security footage was tampered with.” Ali frowned.

“What? How?”

“I don’t know.” Ali pressed her lips together in thought. “But she knows Hanna has access to restricted areas of the hotel since her mom owns it and she already suspects Aria is hiding something.” She had a guilty look on her face.

“And why would she suspect that?”

Ali looked away.

“Alison?” Emily begged for more information.

“I did a very foolish thing.” Ali looked up and sucked in her bottom lip. “When they first started the investigation the police asked me if I thought any of you might have had anything to do with Charlotte’s murder,” she sighed. “I told Lorenzo that I didn’t think you were guilty of anything, but that I wasn’t sure about the rest of the girls.”

“Ali…” Emily stared at her in shock.

“I know.” She hung her head in shame. “But I was upset. I was still torn up about the funeral and I’d just found out that Aria had left Rosewood to go back to Boston. I didn’t know what to think. I was so angry and hurt...and I just let the stupid part of my brain talk. After our fight at dinner last week I realized what a huge bitch I was being. I talked to the cops again and retracted everything I’d said. I swear I never meant for them to come after you guys. I’m so sorry, Em.”

She timidly looked up at Emily, regret written all over her face. Emily could see the conflict going on inside her head. She thought back to how destroyed Alison had been after Charlotte’s death. She’d spent five years getting to know a girl that no one else truly knew, and that girl had been ripped away from her and left a huge void in her heart. Emily couldn’t pretend to understand the relationship between Ali and Charlotte, but she knew that Ali had loved her and would have done anything for her. That was a feeling Emily could understand.

“It’s okay.” Emily reached across the table and put her hand on top of Alison’s. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Maybe we should just come clean about Aria.” Ali looked down and stared at the table. “If she really is innocent she’s got nothing to worry about.”

“ _If_?” Emily gave her a disapproving glare.

“You know what I mean.” Ali rolled her eyes.

“Tanner has it out for us. We shouldn’t add fuel to the fire.”

“I know, but Aria is already on her radar. Don’t you think we’re just delaying the inevitable?”

It wasn’t Tanner’s radar Emily was worried about. If _A_ caught wind of the fact that Aria was a person of interest she’d be targeted in ways that Emily didn’t even want to think about.

“If Aria goes down we all go down,” Emily said. “We were with her that night.”

“Not the _whole_ night.” Ali reminded her.

Emily looked at her in surprise.

“Ali, you don’t still think…”

“No, of course not.” Ali interrupted her.

Ali knew she’d judged Aria too hastily after she found out about that security photo. Any suspicion she had of Aria being capable of hurting her disappeared when Aria embraced her when they thought they were going to lose Emily. Anyone who cared that much about her pain wouldn’t have taken her sister away from her.

“But the sooner Tanner clears her the sooner they can move on to other suspects,” Ali suggested.

“Yeah. Like the rest of us. You may believe we’re innocent, but she certainly doesn’t. She made that perfectly clear when she talked to me today.”

“Wait, Tanner questioned you?” Ali’s head snapped up. All at once her expression went from docile to angry.

“Yeah, I ran into her at the park this morning.”

“I am going to kill her.” Ali growled. “I specifically told her not to do anything that might cause you stress. If anything happens to you I am so suing her ass.”

Emily pushed her lips out and her brow crinkled. She glanced at Ali in amusement.

“What?” Ali asked.

“You’re cute when you’re being overprotective.” Emily laughed. She ate the last piece of salmon on her plate. “But I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I’m perfectly capable of handling Tanner.”

“If she harasses you again I’ll get her pulled off the case.” Ali muttered.

“You might as well get used to her sniffing around. You know how she is.” Emily shrugged.

“I can’t believe how calm you are being about this.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Emily replied. “Besides, I’m getting the third degree from everyone else in my life. Might as well add Tanner to the mix.” Emily mindlessly shoved some scraps of food around on her plate with her fork.

“Is someone else harassing you?” Ali asked in alarm.

That was a loaded question if Emily had ever heard one. She was being pressured in all kinds of ways in her life lately. _A_ , her doctors, her mother. No wonder her heart was trying to bail on her.

“Em?”

“It’s nothing.” Emily shook her head. She grabbed her plate and another dirty dish. “I’ll clean up.” She forced out a smile.

Ali looked at her in uncertainty for a few seconds, but when she realized Emily wasn’t going to say anything else, she sighed and went to wash her face. Emily cleaned up the kitchen. She still had a bunch of nervous energy, so she started dusting and straightening up the living room. When Ali came back downstairs Emily was in full spring-cleaning mode.

“What are you doing?” Ali questioned curiously.

“Dusting. What does it look like?” Emily said. “I’ve been cooped up for almost a week. I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

“It’s 9 o’clock at night.”

“So? Dirt can’t tell time.”

“You’re turning into your mother.” Ali chuckled.

Emily stopped cleaning at the mention of her mother. She thought about how hurt Pam had looked today and she thought about what it was going to do to her when she found out everything else Emily was hiding from her.

“She’s probably doing the exact same thing right now.” Emily leaned against the armrest on the sofa and stared off into the distance in thought. “She’s freaking out about my future.”

Ali’s eyes widened.

“Did you tell her about your heart?”

“No. I couldn’t,” Emily said. Ali looked disappointed, but didn’t say anything. “She found out that I flunked out of Pepperdine.” Emily slid down the armrest and on to the couch.

“How?”

_Because some psycho with a morbid fascination with who killed your sister is trying to ruin our lives._ She wanted to scream it from a mountaintop. She was so sick of keeping it a secret.

Instead, she told her that a letter from Pepperdine had been delivered to her address in Rosewood by mistake and her mother happened to see the contents of that letter.

“How did she take it?” Ali sat down beside her.

“Not well.” Emily frowned. “She basically fell apart.” She rubbed her temples. “I don’t think there is anyone in this town I haven’t screwed up. I am like a walking tornado of destruction.”

“No, you’re not.” Ali tenderly put her hand on Emily’s cheek. “You’re the best thing that I have in my life. Quite frankly I think you’re one of the very few things left in this society that makes the world a better place.”

“You’re sweet, but I’m hardly the role model for good behavior.” Emily looked down to try and hide her discomfort.

“Weren’t you the one telling me not to be so hard on myself earlier? How about you take your own advice?”

“Fair point.” Emily nodded.

A loud buzz echoed throughout the house and Emily glanced towards the basement.

“That’s the laundry.” Emily started to stand up.

“Seriously, Em?” Ali laughed. “You really are turning into your mother.” She jumped to her feet, knocking one of the pillows off of the couch. “How about you take a break? I think you’ve inhaled enough cleaning supplies for one night. I’ll get it.”

Before Emily could object, Ali was racing towards the door. Emily chuckled and shook her head. She leaned down to get the couch pillow. When she bent over she saw something sticking out from underneath the sofa. She thought it was a stray sock, but when she grabbed it she realized it was something else. She almost doubled over in shock. It was a glove. And not just any glove. It was the same glove that was in the security footage of _The Radley_ …and it was the same glove Emily had seen in her nightmare about the dollhouse video she’d had this morning.

She jerked around and stared at the TV, expecting it to turn on and taunt her. Nothing happened. She grabbed her phone, thinking there would be some new menacing text, but there wasn’t. She looked at the glove again and her heart starting pounding. She felt dizzy. That dream she’d had suddenly started replaying in her head. Maybe she hadn’t imagined it. Or maybe she had and _A_ wanted her to think that it was real. She wasn’t sure what to think anymore.

She heard something shuffle behind her and nearly jumped out of her skin. When she turned around she saw Ali holding a basket full of clean laundry. Her gaze was fixed on the glove in her hand.

“Where did you find that?” Ali’s eyes widened. She walked over to Emily.

“Is…is this yours?” Emily tried not to let Ali see how much she was panicking.

Ali put the laundry basket down and took the glove from Emily. Tears sprang to her eyes.

“It was Charlotte’s.” Ali’s voice was strained. “She was wearing these the night she died.”

Emily felt like she’d just been struck by a mack truck.

“What?” She couldn’t have heard that right. “Are you sure?”

“I bought them for her, Em. I would recognize them anywhere. She was wearing them when she stormed out of the house that night.” She nervously ran her fingers over the glove.

“But how is that possible? I found it under the couch.”

“Maybe…” Ali stared at the glove. “…maybe she came back here before she was killed.” She suddenly looked up. “I have to call Tanner back. She needs to know about this.” She spun around and reached for her phone.

“Ali, wait. My fingerprints are all over that.”

“So? I’ll just tell her you found it.”

“That won’t matter to Tanner, and you know it.”

“I will keep this from coming back on you. I promise.”

“How?” Emily asked. “It’s a police investigation. Not a school play. You can’t direct what they do.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” She whimpered.

She had a forlorn expression on her face. Emily couldn’t stand to see Alison look so torn. She knew there would be hell to pay if the cops figured out who killed Charlotte before they did, but she also knew how much Alison needed closure. Emily pushed aside her own emotions and put Ali first.

“Make the call,” she said.

Ali nodded. She grabbed her phone and walked out of the room. Emily grabbed her phone to make a call of her own. She quietly went through the kitchen and out the back door. She dialed Hanna’s number. Hanna answered after the second ring.

“Hey, Em. I just heard about Nicole. How are you? Do I need to come over with a tub of chunky monkey and two spoons?” Hanna asked.

“No. I’m okay,” Emily said. “I mean, it sucks, but I’m glad that her loved ones have answers.”

“Aria says Ezra is in a weird fog,” Hanna said.

“I would imagine so.”

Emily felt a twinge of pain. She knew what Ezra was going through. She’d been through it twice. First when Ali had gone missing and then again when Maya had died. Ezra had been there for her after she lost Maya. All of her friends had. Back then she never thought her heart would heal. Over time though, the pain had lessened. She found out that that despite how much abuse her heart was faced with, it still had the ability to love. The human heart was resilient. She knew Ezra’s heart would eventually heal, but she still felt for him.

“Hey, listen, with everything going on, I’ll understand if you want to bail tomorrow,” Hanna said.

Hanna had officially asked the girls to be her bridesmaids and they had been planning on meeting up for lunch and then going to look at dresses.

“No, I still want to go,” Emily said. “Ali’s got a charity thing she’s got to chaperone for the school and I really don’t feel like sitting around the house alone, especially not after this morning.”

“Why? What happened this morning?” Hanna sounded worried.

“I don’t know for sure, but I think _A_ attacked me.” She kept her voice quiet, afraid that Ali might walk out and overhear her.

“What?” Hanna exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” She paced around the porch. “I mean…physically I’m fine. Mentally I’m about to lose it. It was all kind of a blur. Up until a few minutes ago I thought I dreamed the whole thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“This morning I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up the TV had footage of me from the dollhouse and a message about Charlotte playing with us. Then someone wearing gloves chloroformed me and I woke up on the couch.”

“Jesus.” Hanna sucked in a gasp. “And you thought you dreamed this?”

“I couldn’t think of another explanation. If _A_ had me, why let me go?”

“Maybe whoever this is wants to mess with your mind…make you think you’re going crazy.”

“Well, they’re doing a pretty good job of that,” Emily uttered in irritation. “I found a glove under the couch. It was the same one from _The Radley_ security footage and it was the same one I saw on the hand of my attacker this morning. Ali said it was Charlotte’s. Apparently she was wearing them the night she died.”

“Yeah, well, Charlotte is six feet under, so who the hell has been wearing them? Sara Harvey?” Hanna spit bitterly. “All signs point to that crusty bitch.”

“She’s definitely involved somehow.” Emily thought about the nightmare she’d had in the hospital in which Sara had come to taunt her. Now she was questioning whether or not that was real as well. “Han, that video I saw of me…I don’t think it was footage the cops have locked up in evidence. I think whoever hacked the TV took it from their own personal stash. It had to be someone who was helping Charlotte torture us in the dollhouse.”

“Can you get that glove to Toby? Maybe he can bribe someone in forensics to search for DNA on the down-low. If Sara is _A_ and we can nail her for this then we can let the cops handle her, and once she’s out of the picture we won’t have to worry about finding Charlotte’s killer anymore.”

“Ali has it. She’s going to hand it over to Tanner.”

“What?” Hanna exclaimed. “Em! If Tanner gets involved in this we’re screwed.”

“I know…but what was I supposed to do? I can’t tell her why we don’t want Tanner to figure it out without telling her about _A_.” Emily ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “Maybe I should just tell her. If _A_ was really in Ali’s house then she’s in danger, too.”

“When are we not in danger in this town?” Hanna huffed.

“On the other hand, telling her could get her hurt…or killed.” She cringed just thinking about it. “What am I gonna do?”

“Don’t ask me. You’d have better luck if you flipped a coin.”

“I’ve got to figure something out, and fast. I’m going crazy thinking about what _A_ will do to her if I tell her.” She tensed up thinking about the threats she’d received. “But if I’m afraid of what will happen if I keep this a secret for much longer.”

“Let me talk to Caleb to see if he can do his hacker thing and trace something from the TV to see if you really saw that footage.” Hanna suggested.

“Maybe I’m crazy and it didn’t happen.” Emily stared into the woods. “Maybe I saw the glove in the house and didn’t realize it and just worked myself up into a nightmare.”

“You’re not crazy.” Hanna assured her. “If this is Sara…or anyone else who took _Torture 101_ with Charlotte then we both know this person is capable of anything.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” Emily sighed. She thought about the warning she’d received from her attacker. “Right before I blacked out, whoever attacked me said something…”

She heard the back door open and stopped talking mid-sentence.

“Em? Are you out here?” Ali called out to her.

“Emily? Are you still there? You cut out,” Hanna said.

“Han, I have to go.” Emily whispered. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Hey, be careful,” Hanna replied.

They quickly said their goodbyes. Ali rounded the corner and saw her.

“Who were you talking to?” Ali asked curiously.

“Hanna. We were just finalizing details for tomorrow.” Emily hated herself for lying to Ali. “Were you able to reach Tanner?”

“Yeah. She told me to stop in tomorrow. I’m going to swing by after the fundraiser.”

They turned to go inside, but Emily heard a noise in the bushes and stopped dead in her tracks.

“Did you hear that?” she asked. She turned around and looked out into the yard, but she didn’t see anything.

“It’s probably just a squirrel.” Ali shrugged.

She walked through the back door. Emily stared into the darkness for a few seconds before she followed. She couldn’t help but feel like she was being watched. Every chance she got she would peer outside, expecting to see the shadow of the person tormenting her. She was so on edge that she barely heard a word Ali said to her the rest of the night.

When they went to bed, Emily stayed up for as long as she could…afraid of what would happen if she fell asleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw a pair of gloved hands shooting out of the dark and tightly closing around her neck. Every time she drifted off she felt a sense of panic. She felt like she was suffocating.

Every time she opened her eyes she would look at Ali sleeping peacefully next to her. She was afraid she’d wake her up with all of her tossing and turning, so she slipped out of bed and went outside to get some air. She sat out on the back porch for a little while. When she’d finally settled down she went back inside. But the minute she walked inside she felt a sense of dread. The house felt different. Something felt wrong. She’d felt this once before...the morning she found out that her father had died.

She heard a thud upstairs and immediately raced towards the noise.

“Alison?” She exclaimed, her voice straining from her fear.

The door to the bedroom was closed. But that wasn’t right. She had left it wide open. She grabbed the doorknob, but it was locked.

“Ali!” Panic was rising in her throat.

She slammed against the door…once, twice…and on the third time she was able to bust it open. She stumbled into the room. Alison wasn’t in the bed. She was on the floor. Emily leaned down and reached out to her. Then she felt something come crashing down on to her head. She fell to the floor next to Ali. She laid on her side in a daze, all of her energy focused on Alison. She reached out to push Alison’s hair out of her face, but the instant her fingers made contact with Ali’s skin she pulled back in surprise. Her skin was cool to the touch. Emily looked closer and she saw that her skin looked gray. Her eyes were open and fixed. She felt a scream building up in her throat, but before she could open her mouth…someone was on top of her. She felt a pair of strong hands tighten around her throat. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe.

_It’s a dream._ She told herself, desperately trying to take a breath. _This isn’t real. Wake up. Wake up!_ She screamed internally.

But she didn’t wake up. Her eyes fluttered and her vision started to blur. She fruitlessly threw her hands up and tried to fight back. It was no use. She was losing feeling in her whole body. Her lungs were pounding, desperately needing air. She felt herself slipping away. Images of her loved ones flashed through her mind. Her dad chasing her around the park when she was five. Her mother teaching her how to bake chocolate chip cookies when she was seven. Spencer coming to her defense on the playground after an older boy pushed her down. Aria bringing her chicken soup and staying up with her all night when she had the flu. Hanna taking her hand and telling her that she loved and accepted her no matter who she wanted to date after she found out Emily was gay. Toby gently doctoring a cut she got after her ex-boyfriend Ben had attacked her. Ezra refusing to let her doubt herself when she fell behind in school. Caleb showing up to visit her in California the summer after she’d moved out there, surfboard in hand. She even saw a flash of Mona stepping up to defend her to their tyrant of a principal.

Then there was Alison. She thought of the way her lips had tingled after their first kiss and about how her heart raced when Alison touched her. She thought about the way Alison looked at her. It’s like she didn’t see anyone else. Emily felt an overwhelming urge to reach out to her. She felt around in the darkness and found Alison’s hand. She felt her body shutting down. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she finally gave in. As she plunged into the blackness, the last thought she had was of Alison gently taking her face in her hands and pressing her lips against Emily’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes. Yes, I am quite the asshole for leaving a cliffhanger like this. Trust me, I yell at me far more than anyone else ever could. I sent myself to time out after I finished writing this chapter.


	18. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the sage advice of my mother: “Pretty Little Liars is not safe to consume without liquor.”

* * *

 

Emily’s heart slammed against her chest. She sucked in a pained breath. There was a coppery taste in her mouth. When she opened her eyes she was on the floor in a dark room. Her head was pounding.

“Ali?” Her voice was virtually a whisper. Her throat was killing her.

She slowly sat up. She felt around the cold hard floor. Her fingers brushed up against something solid right beside her. It was a wall. She twisted and pushed her back up against the wall to keep from collapsing.

Then she heard something she never thought she’d hear again:

_“Welcome. Willkommen. Bienvenidos.”_

The audio-recording from the dollhouse reverberated off of the walls.

“No,” Emily said weakly. “No. This…no, it’s not possible.”

According to police reports, half of the dollhouse had been destroyed by the fire they set to escape and after the investigation what was left of it had been gutted and stripped clean. So then where was she sitting?

The lights suddenly flipped on. Emily looked around the room. It was wall to wall cement. It looked like a prison cell, right down to the sad gray coloring of the floors. The room was empty except for a large long box on the floor in the middle of the room. It had a card with Emily’s name on it instructing her to open her present.

She refused to move at first. Every bone in her body ached. She laid her head against the wall and struggled to remain conscious. She saw a flicker of movement above her. A small hole appeared in the ceiling. Seconds later something fell through the air and landed next to her with a loud pop. Flames flickered next to her before the object exploded, sending smoke everywhere. Emily leaned forward and coughed. Another smoke bomb landed next to her. She jerked away automatically. This one didn’t explode. She looked at it and saw there was a slip of paper attached to it. She peeled it off and read the message:

_“Play the game or they all die.”_

Another smoke bomb fell. Then another. So this must have been what Jenna Marshall felt like when Ali threw the firecracker that blinded her when they were kids. Emily couldn’t stand the smoke, so she tentatively crawled towards the box. She pushed the top aside, but it was still too hazy from the fireworks to see inside. After a few seconds the air cleared and she saw a pair of familiar blue eyes staring back at her, but they weren’t the bright eyes she loved. They were glassy, fixed and frozen.

“Alison…” She squeaked.

Emily gasped and backpedaled away from the makeshift coffin. She let out a loud wail and started to hyperventilate. The automated voice was telling her to do something, but she wasn’t listening. A loud alarm filled the air, piercing her ears. She slammed her hands over her ears and curled into a ball. She shut her eyes tightly and rocked back and forth. When she finally got the courage to open her eyes again the lights had been shut off. She heard a hissing sound and the room had an odd odor in it. She choked on the sickeningly sweet air until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

Then the room disappeared. She heard soft snoring next to her. She awoke with a jolt. Her eyes darted around the room. She was in Alison’s house, Ali sleeping soundly beside her. Still, she couldn’t seem to relax. Emily’s entire body was so tense it felt like her bones were breaking. Her hands were trembling. Her palms were stinging from where her fingernails had been digging in to her skin. Her teeth were chattering, but she wasn’t cold. In fact, her entire body felt like it was on fire. It took her a few seconds to realize that she was so frozen with fear that she was holding her breath. She sucked in a breath of air, giving her lungs some relief.

Her jaw tightened as _A_ ’s video message and the dollhouse nightmare taunted her in her mind. She hadn’t felt this level of paralyzing fright in a long time. Suddenly, she was unable to breathe again. She made a noise between a gasp and a sob. Alison heard her cries and felt her shaking and she shot up out of a deep sleep.

“Emily, what is it?” Alison’s hands found Emily’s face in the darkness. She felt the sweat rolling down Emily’s cheeks. “Jesus, Em, what…oh God, is it your heart?” She fumbled around trying to find the cord to the lamp next to her bed.

“No. I just…no, i-it’s not…” Emily managed to stutter out. Her chest was so heavy that it hurt to breathe.

Alison turned the lamp on. When she turned back to check on Emily she saw her sitting up against the headboard. All the color had drained from her face. Her eyes were wide with a weird distant look. Alison glanced down to check her heart monitor, but Emily had apparently been moving around so much in her sleep that it had slipped halfway off of her wrist and wasn’t reading anything.

“Are you okay?” Alison scooted up next to her and brushed her palm against Emily’s cheek, pushing her sweat-soaked hair out of her face.

Emily didn’t react. She was shaking so violently that she was practically vibrating. Alison noticed that her chest wasn’t moving. She tried not to panic.

“Emily, breathe.” Her hand trembled against Emily’s face. “Hey, look at me.” Emily turned and glanced at her. “Just breathe.” Their eyes locked, and though Emily was looking at her, Alison felt like she was looking right through her. It’s like she wasn’t really awake. “I’m right here, Em.”

Some of Emily’s tension eased. She felt the tightness in her chest loosen and suddenly she was able to breathe freely again. She sucked in several gulps of air and started breathing heavily.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.” Alison’s hand was resting against Emily’s neck now. She could feel Emily’s pulse racing. She lifted her brows in alarm. “Emily…” She gently tried to shake her out of her trance. “Em…” She saw Emily’s eyes flutter, like she was getting ready to pass out. “Hey…” She squeaked out through her fear. “Oh, Jesus, please don’t do this to me. Not again.” When Emily didn’t respond Alison panicked. “I’m calling the hospital.”

She reached for her phone, but Emily reached out and grabbed Alison’s wrist. She swallowed a knot in her throat and took a deep breath.

“I’m okay.” Emily forced herself to relax. She kept her sights set on Alison to keep her centered. She took a few more calming breaths. “I just had a nightmare.” She blinked a few times. “I forgot where I was for a minute.”

“You scared the crap out of me.” Alison breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, me too,” Emily said under her breath. She was still trembling. She couldn’t get the image of Alison’s body out of her head.

“You’re still shaking.” Alison rubbed Emily’s arms. She raised her hand and gently pressed her knuckles against Emily’s face. “And you’re burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?” She sucked in her bottom lip and bit down on it. “Maybe we should call the doctor just in case.”

“It was just a dream, Ali.” Emily looked away to get her emotions under control. “I’m fine.”

She still couldn’t look Ali in the eye. She was completely out of sorts. Ali could see the look of panic in her eyes.

“No, you’re not.” Ali stroked her cheek. “You’re terrified.”

It scared her to see Emily so shaken up. Emily had always been her protector. She wasn’t used to seeing her so upset. She hadn’t seen her this haunted since the girls had been rescued from the dollhouse. Emily had never told her specifically what Charlotte had done to them when she had them locked up. Charlotte hadn’t volunteered the information either. She’d tried asking Emily about it more than once, but Emily always shut down when Ali brought it up. Ali could never quite figure out if it was because Emily truly didn’t want to talk about it, or if she was trying to spare Alison the grim details of what her sister was capable of. Knowing Emily, it was probably the latter.

“I just need a minute.” Emily assured her.

She took Ali’s hand and peered into her eyes. She sank back down into the bed, the images from her nightmare still fresh in her mind. She looked at Alison. She looked scared out of her mind.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Emily said softly.

“You want to talk about it?” Ali asked.

“No,” Emily answered quickly. She didn’t even want to think about it. It had felt too real, and she knew it could become a reality if she didn’t follow _A_ ’s orders. “It was nothing.” Her breathing had finally slowed to a normal pace, but she still seemed vacant. “I should…” She swallowed hard. “…I should go sleep on the couch.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Ali squeezed Emily’s hand. She knew Emily wasn’t in any shape to be left alone.

“At least one of us deserves a good night’s rest.” After tonight, Emily wasn’t sure she’d ever sleep again, but she refused to let Ali know that. She was worried enough as it was. “I’ll be fine in the morning.”

“You don’t have to put on a brave face, Em.” She tenderly caressed Emily’s cheek. “You never have to pretend with me.” She ran her hand down Emily’s bare shoulder.

Emily looked into Alison’s eyes. The soft vulnerability hiding behind her fierce gaze is the very thing that Emily had fallen in love with all those years ago. When she looked into Alison’s eyes every part of her felt like she was on fire. It was like her soul ignited and she couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. Looking into Ali’s eyes made Emily feel like everything would be okay.

Emily was about to tell her everything, but the second she opened her mouth she saw flashes of the texts threatening Ali and she saw the image of Ali in a coffin…all because of her. And suddenly she remembered that the danger of falling in love was how much it hurt to think about losing the person you were giving your heart to. Though the nightmare hadn’t been real, it had given her some very real imagery she would never be able to forget. She flinched and looked away.

“Please don’t shut me out.” Alison begged. “I can see that you’re struggling with something. You haven’t slept through the night since you got out of the hospital. I know you’ve been having nightmares, and I know you think you’re protecting me by not telling me, but whatever it is…I can handle it. What I can’t handle is seeing what it’s doing to you. I’ve never seen you like this before. Something has you so afraid that you can barely breathe. What is it?”

Emily licked her lips and then bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Emily said.

“What? Why would you possibly think you’d lose me?”

“Because that’s what I was dreaming about.” In a roundabout way it was the truth. _A_ was threatening to take Ali away from Emily. She swallowed a knot in her throat. “Ali, I’ve had nightmares for years now. About our past, the dollhouse, the torture we endured. I’ve learned to deal with that. All of that has been…tolerable. But tonight was different. Tonight I stepped into some…hell dimension.” She wasn’t really sure how else to describe what her nightmare had felt like. “And you were...” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word “dead”. It was too overwhelming to think about. “I’d lost you. I’ve never felt so empty.”

Ali knew all too well what Emily felt like. The instant Emily’s heart had stopped Ali felt like her world had been obscured by a darkness she’d never be able to find her way through. A part of her was still in that place. The thought of losing Emily terrified her. She saw that same fear in Emily’s eyes.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Ali delicately brought her palm back up to Emily’s cheek and leaned in and softly pushed her lips against Emily’s.

Emily responded to her touch immediately. Her hands were on Alison’s jaw seconds later. She ran her fingers through Alison’s hair and attacked Alison’s lips with a desperate hunger. Alison moaned into Emily’s mouth, sending shockwaves of pleasure through Emily’s entire body. Everything that was tormenting Emily melted away.

Emily pushed for more. She pulled Alison closer and buried her face inches above her collarbone, her lips and tongue caressing Alison’s neck. Alison snaked her hand in between their bodies and ran her hand up Emily’s shirt. Emily’s muscles twitched and tensed up when Alison’s fingers hit a tender spot on her ribcage that was still healing from Toby’s chest compressions. She had been told by the doctor that she was lucky she hadn’t suffered any broken bones, as most people who’d had CPR usually ended up with at least one broken rib. She’d just ended up with a lot of bruising.

Emily tried to hide her discomfort, but Alison hadn’t missed her subtle flinch when her fingers touched Emily’s tender skin. Alison immediately stopped moving and let her palm fall flat against Emily’s chest. She could feel Emily’s heart beating erratically underneath her hand. She glanced down at Emily, still glistening with sweat from her night terror, and suddenly Alison was the one picturing losing the love of her life.

“Emily…” She gently tried to pull away, though it was to no avail.

It was so hard for Alison to resist her. It had been years since she’d been touched like this…since she’d felt like this. Emily had always made her feel safe and loved. She had missed everything about her and she wanted nothing more than to pin her to the bed and ravage her, but after what she’d just witnessed Emily go through all she could think about was her well-being.

Emily didn’t seem the least bit concerned that five minutes ago she couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t seemed that worried about her health in general, which Ali found alarming. She had never known Emily to be reckless, especially when it came to life or death situations. Despite the fact that Emily had told her that there was no use in obsessing about her heart, it was all Ali had been able to think about. Logically, she knew that there was nothing she could do. She knew that everything was in the doctor’s hands. It was a waiting game, and a sucky one at that. And Ali hated it.

She heard Emily’s breathing increase and she tried to pull away again. This time she was more successful. She looked down at Emily. Her face seemed relaxed, but she was panting to catch her breath and her lips were trembling. Ali couldn’t tell if it was from their throes of passion or if it was residual nerves from the nightmare she’d just come out of.

Emily whimpered at the loss of contact.

“Alison, please…” Emily pleaded.

She reached out and wrapped her arms around Ali’s midsection. Her hands slipped underneath Alison’s shirt and up her back. There was an urgency in her movements. Alison felt the tips of Emily’s fingers against her skin and she realized that Emily’s hands were still shaking. Something about her touch felt different…frantic, like she might never see Alison again. Alison had the same fear. The only difference was that she actually had almost lost Emily. Alison’s heart skipped a beat as she thought about how broken she felt after she’d witnessed Emily collapse in front of her. She wanted this as much as Emily, but she also knew they shouldn’t be risking it so soon. Emily was still recovering.

“Em,” she said as she hooked two of her fingers underneath Emily’s chin and forced her to look up at her, “you’re supposed to be taking it easy.” She rolled back slightly, breaking away from her.

“So then we’ll keep it vanilla and won’t bust out the whips and chains,” Emily said with a sly smirk.

Ali couldn’t help but laugh at the suggestion, but she stood her ground. She smiled sweetly at Emily and shook her head.

“Your bruises haven’t even healed yet.” Ali cringed thinking about the fact that her touch might have hurt Emily.

“It looks worse than it is.” Emily assured her. It was a lie. Her ribs were still very tender. But she’d dealt with worse pain in her life.

“Your body is still recovering. You need rest. Your doctor said…”

“Ali, I swear if you mention my doctor or the healing process or statistics one more time I’m going to lose my mind.” Emily huffed. “I can’t sit around thinking about everything that could go wrong. You shouldn’t either. Why can’t we just live in the moment?”

“I just…can’t.” Alison’s voice was strained. “Not until I know that you’re okay.”

Emily threw her head back on her pillow and let out a frustrated sigh. She knew where Ali was coming from, but that didn’t make her urges go away. All she wanted was to feel normal, and she couldn’t think of anything more normal than being with Alison…in every way possible. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. After a few seconds she rolled over on to her side and looked at her girlfriend.

“I keep telling you…I’m fine,” she said.

“No, you’re not.” Ali snapped back. “You’re doing what you always do. You’re burying everything inside. It’s not good for you. It’s going to destroy you. And I’m not just going to sit by and let that happen.”

“I understand that you want to look out for me, but I don’t need another person in my life telling me what I can and can’t do. I’m not some damsel in distress…”

“I know that, Emily!” Ali hissed. Emily had always been the bravest person she knew, but sometimes her bravery blinded her to the dangers in her life. “But you’re not invincible either. And you’re not alone in this anymore. This affects both of us!” She realized her tone was coming off a lot more heated than she’d intended. She lowered her voice and sighed. “You can’t expect me not to speak up when I know that something is wrong.”

“I already told you…it was just a nightmare.” Emily tried to calm her down.

“You were so stressed that you forgot to breathe!” Ali reminded her. “And you’re _still_ freaked. I can see it in your eyes. And as much as I would love to just have a nice little roll in the sack and forget about it, I can’t do that. Not when I know that you’re going through something like this.”

“I’m not…” Emily started to reply, but she quickly shut up when she saw Ali glare at her.

“Don’t tell me you aren’t avoiding your emotions. I know exactly what burying your pain looks like. I practically invented it. You’ve seen me do it enough times. You saw me do it last week when I tried to kiss you after I told you about my fight with Charlotte. You pulled away, because you knew I was in pain. You didn’t let the fact that I wanted you as much as you wanted me override the fact that I was suffering. You knew what I wanted, but you gave me what I _needed._ You refused to let me suppress my pain. I won’t let you suppress yours.”

“Ali, I…” But Emily had no idea what to say. She wasn’t going to lie to her.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not trying to deflect to try and forget about your fear.”

Emily’s silence was the only answer she needed. Just like Emily had known she did the right thing pulling away from Ali the night she kissed her to forget about Charlotte, Ali knew that she’d made the right call with Emily tonight.

Emily had always known that Ali was observant, but she was still impressed with her precise perception. Her insight was what made her such a great teacher. Unfortunately, it also made it very hard for Emily to hide anything from her…not that she wanted to hide anything anymore.

“I honestly don’t know whether to kiss you or pay you for my session and set up an appointment for next week.” Emily was impressed with Ali’s psychology skills. She much preferred Ali as her mental health services counselor over Elliott. Then again, she’d probably learned a lot of this head-shrinking stuff from him. “How do you know so much about all this stuff?”

“I don’t,” Ali said. “I know _you_ , Em. And I know that you would go to the ends of the earth to protect the people you love. You take on so much. You know that your resiliency and compassion are two of the things I admire most about you, but you’ve spent so much time taking care of others that you have forgotten to take care of yourself. You are holding so much inside that you can barely live your life. When I woke up you were looking right through me. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. I was afraid I was losing you all over again.”

Emily saw a desperate plea in Alison’s eyes and she instinctively reached out to touch her face in a soothing manner. She knew dealing with all of this wasn’t easy for Ali. Emily hated that she’d gotten her so stirred up.

“I know you’re worried, and I love you for it.” Emily’s hand came to rest upon the side of Alison’s neck. “And I know that I scared the hell out of you tonight and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I know that everything seems really intense right now, and I won’t lie to you and say that everything is going to be okay, because the truth is that I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’ve had a lot of time to think since I was diagnosed, and the one thing I can’t do is dwell on the future. I can’t live my life in fear,” she said calmly.

“Well, I’m sorry. I’m not as strong as you.” Alison rolled her eyes and stuck her lip out in a pout. It reminded Emily of the times in high school when Ali would act like a five-year-old who didn’t get her way.

“That’s not what I was…”

“You might not be afraid, but I _am_.” Ali’s voice was shaking.

She turned away to hide her face. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Emily after the night she’d had. She was trying to hold back her tears, but one trickled out and rolled down her cheek. Emily reached up and brushed the tear away with her thumb.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Emily tried to comfort her.

“No.” Ali shook her head. “It’s not.” She heaved out a sigh. “That nightmare you had about losing me? A couple of days ago that was my reality. I lost you once. And I’m trying really hard not to dwell on it, but I know I’m failing. Any time I feel like you are getting the least bit worked up all I can see is you lying on the ground outside the loft.”

“Ali…” Emily sighed softly.

She was at a loss for words. She remembered the look on Alison’s face that day. She remembered the pain in her eyes. Seeing that look had been her biggest fear. It was something that had been on her mind the past six months. She couldn’t stand to think about hurting her loved ones. She knew that it was the people left behind who would be destroyed in her wake. She knew that Ali was going through hell, and she felt selfish for making it worse. They had both suffered an unimaginable amount of loss in their lives. It wasn’t fair that either one of them had to deal with this on top of everything else.

“It all happened so fast. You were in my arms one moment and then you were dying. I saw the light in your eyes completely go out. You were right in front of me, but you were gone. I felt like someone had ripped away half of my life. I was terrified that I’d never see you again. I’ve dealt with death and grief before, but this felt like something entirely different. It’s like I was standing alone at the end of time just staring into a void waiting for it to be over, but it was never-ending. And even now, all I can think about is when you’re going to be ripped away from me again.”

“You can’t think like that.”

“I don’t know how to stop thinking about it!” Ali exclaimed. “The night you got out of the hospital and came to stay here I stayed up for hours making sure you didn’t stop breathing. I read this study that survivors of sudden cardiac arrest have a high likelihood of it happening again, and a lot of the time it’s in their sleep.”

“You have got to stop doing medical research.” Emily lowered her head and ran her hands over her face in frustration.

“Someone has to look out for you, because you don’t seem that concerned about how serious this is.”

“Trust me, I’m not blind to the gravity of this situation. It is all I’ve been hearing about since I found out. But the doctors are doing everything they can…”

“It’s not enough!” Ali cried. “I love you, Em.” She reached for Emily’s hand. Their palms melded into one another, their fingers automatically intertwined. “I love you so much. I’ve just…I’ve lost so much. I buried Charlotte. I can’t bury you, too.”

All the fear and pain and grief that she had been holding on to came to a head. She started sobbing. Emily pulled Alison into a tight embrace and tried to calm her down. She kissed the top of her head, the smell of her shampoo overwhelming Emily’s senses. She held Ali until she stopped crying.

“I shouldn’t have piled all of this on you,” Ali said quietly. “You have enough crap you’re dealing with.”

“Look at me, Ali.” Emily nudged her chin, forcing her to look into her eyes. “I understand.” She understood more than Ali would never know. “I know what you’re going through. I went through it, too. I spent so much time wondering… _obsessing_ over what to do next…how to fix it. I worried about what I was doing wrong and I thought about every move I made, wondering if something I was doing was going to kill me. I would wake up and ask myself ‘Is today my last day? Is this the last time I’ll get to pick out an outfit? Eat breakfast? Bathe in the sunlight? See the innocence of childhood while walking by the playground? Will I get to say ‘I love you’ to the people I care about? Will I see it coming? Will I be afraid?’ Every possible question you’re asking yourself I have thought about at least a dozen times, probably more. It’s a lot to take on. It’s not an easy thing to learn to live with, believe me. But you want to talk about something that will destroy you? That sense of dread will eat you alive. Constantly wondering when you’re going to take your last breath…that’s not any way to live…for anyone. I don’t want this to consume you. And I certainly don’t want to wonder whether you’re holding my hand or trying to check my pulse.”

“Can’t it be both?” Ali had such an innocent look in her eyes that Emily couldn’t help but smile.

“Come here.” Emily pulled Ali towards her and wrapped her arms around her. Ali laid her head against Emily’s shoulder and engulfed her in a hug. “We really need to schedule our breakdowns a little bit further apart.”

Ali laughed through her tears. They felt safe in each other’s arms. The sense of panic passed for both of them. They stayed like that for a while, just holding one another. Eventually Emily fell asleep. Alison stayed up for a while after Emily dozed off. She was ready to chase away any bad dreams that might befall the sleeping angel in her arms. She ran her fingers through Emily’s soft hair and marveled at how gorgeous she was. She fought her drowsiness for as long as she could, but she finally got to the point where she couldn’t hold her eyes open anymore. Her arms went slack and her hand came to rest upon Emily’s bare stomach. She felt the rise and fall of Emily’s breathing underneath her palm and it lulled her to sleep. They slept soundly in each other’s embrace.


	19. No Rest For the Weary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, there’s an easter egg in this chapter.

* * *

 

Despite their rough night, Alison and Emily both went about their normal business the next day. Ali went to her charity function and Emily went to meet the girls for lunch. Emily walked into _The Brew_ and spotted Hanna standing at the counter waiting on an order. She looked up and waved at Emily, her brows rising ever so slightly as Emily walked over to her.

“Hey,” Hanna had a weird inflection in her voice. “You look like crap.” She didn’t beat around the bush.

“You really know how to sweet talk your friends,” Emily replied sarcastically.

“Ah, thanks. I’ve been told I have an elegant way with words.” Hanna quipped back with a grin.

“Yes. Very subtle. Compassionate, even,” Emily said wryly.

Hanna rolled her eyes, still smiling. After a few seconds her smile faded. She took in Emily’s weary appearance.

“You sure you’re up for this?”

“Honestly? I need the distraction.” Emily nodded.

“I know what you mean.” Hanna looked up at the drink menu and then back at Emily. “You want anything?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.” Emily shook her head.

Hanna glanced over the counter, anxiously awaiting her caffeine fix. Emily was jealous. She missed caffeine, but her coffee cravings were not worth more to her than her life. She’d had to make some pretty big changes for her heart. She was trying to talk herself into being okay with all the changes in her life. The loss of caffeine had hit her harder than she’d expected. In order to try and keep her addictive cravings of her favorite coffee brews out of her mind she just kept telling herself that caffeine was terrible for the human body. And it really was. Didn’t make her miss it any less though.

She looked around the coffee shop and saw Aria sitting on a couch near the window typing something into her phone. Emily walked over to her.

“Hey.” Aria looked up from her phone. She looked tired, too.

“Hey.” Emily smiled as she sat down. “I’m surprised to see you here. I figured you would be with Ezra.”

“I was.” Aria nodded. “But he went to meet with Nicole’s parents and I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Oh, her parents are in town?” Emily asked.

Emily had met and stayed with them for a weekend after she and Nicole had just gotten back from building houses in Haiti between junior and senior year. She hadn’t seen them since then, but she remembered how kind they had been to her. They were the reason their daughter was so caring.

“Not exactly. Ezra found a box of her things he thought they might want. He didn’t want them having to drive all the way down here, so he offered to meet them at their condo upstate to return her stuff and to get the details on the funeral arrangements.” Her jaw tightened in discomfort. “They already had one service for her. It’s so weird, like the first one was ‘rest in peace’ and the second will be ‘we’ve gathered you all here today to proclaim she still is indeed dead’.”

“Funerals are for the living.” Emily leaned back against the soft worn padding on the couch. It had been a staple in the shop for years. She didn’t care that she’d caught some of her previous coworkers _defiling_ it. It was comfortable. “I’ve seen enough caskets for a lifetime. I definitely don’t want one. In fact, I hope someone throws several gallons of fireworks into the incinerator with me so I can go out with a bang.”

“That sounds like something Ali would do.” Aria chortled under her breath.

“That’s why in the back of my mind I always thought she was alive. We buried her twice, and neither time had her signature ‘Ali’ flair.” She thought back to what Hanna had said about dead people not staying dead in this town. “They’re really sure it’s Nicole?” she asked apprehensively.

She thought the question might throw Aria, but her friend seemed perfectly composed. She’d probably wondered the same thing since the news broke about Nicole’s tragic death. They’d seen so many people come back from the dead they were practically living in a zombie flick.

“The dental records were a match. Plus the coroner found a previously healed broken rib and two broken fingers that matched her medical records,” Aria said.

Emily sank into the couch even further. She remembered how Nicole had gotten those injuries. She’d hurt herself in Haiti after she fell off of a piece of loose scaffolding. Emily had been the one partnered up with her on the site that day and she immediately took her to the hospital. All the way, Nicole had cracked jokes and then told Emily she was just ribbing her. Neither injury had kept her from the job site. The girl was determined. Emily wasn’t surprised when Ezra fell for her.

“Is Ezra still hanging in there?” Emily asked.

“It’s hard to tell. He says he made peace with the fact that she was dead a long time ago, but thinking it and knowing it are two different things.”

“Yeah.” Emily agreed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No. I don’t think so. He said he’s going to make an appointment with his therapist. He started seeing him a few months ago.”

That explained Ezra’s presence outside Hollis Medical Center the day Emily had gone to get her prescription. It was good that Ezra was seeing someone to help him work through his emotions. Maybe she needed to follow suit. She thought back to all the times talking to her court-appointed therapist Dr. Sullivan had helped her when she was in high school. Therapy had been her mother’s idea…or rather, her mother’s command. Emily had been vehemently against it at first, but she’d eventually warmed up to the idea. It got to a point where Emily went to see her on own accord a few times. Dr. Sullivan had really helped her after the whole ordeal at the dollhouse.

Hanna walked over with a large cup of coffee in one hand and a medium sized latte in the other.

“Got enough caffeine there, Han?” Emily asked. “You’re going to give Spencer a run for her money.”

Hanna laughed and handed the latte to Aria.

“Speaking of, any word from Spencer?” Hanna sat down in the chair next to the couch.

“Not since she texted from the call center.” Aria shook her head. “She’ll be here.”

“It’s not like her to be late.” Hanna looked at the clock and frowned. “I thought punctuality was hard-wired into her DNA.”

“No, that would be energy drinks and paranoia,” Emily said with a smile.

“Sounds like a perfect combination,” Hanna said flatly.

“Sounds like Spencer.” Aria smiled and shrugged. She took a sip of her drink and then looked at Emily. Her eyes were full of curiosity. “How’s it going with Ali?”

“There have been some…speedbumps.” Emily rubbed her hands over her knees.

“Uh oh.” Aria frowned. “The honeymoon is over already?”

“No.” Emily laughed. “Nothing like that. It was just a rough night for both of us last night.”

“Did you tell her about our not so secret admirer?” Hanna took the lid off of her coffee and dumped a bunch of sweetener into her cup.

“I was going to. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. With everything going on with me, she’s really shaken up right now.”

That, and _A_ was threatening to kill Ali if Emily said anything to her about it…and Emily believed the psycho was fully capable of doing it. Emily fidgeted around on the couch.

“Can’t say that I blame her,” Aria said. “It’s been a pretty intense couple of days.” She averted Emily’s gaze. Emily could tell she was trying not to think about what had happened outside the loft. “I think we’re all a little on edge.” Aria nervously ran her fingers over her cup.

“I’d say we’ve lost control of the car and smashed through the guardrails on that edge and are getting ready to do some _Thelma and Louise_ type of stupidity.” Hanna laughed caustically. She faced Emily. “I don’t know how you’re still standing. If I had been attacked I wouldn’t be able to walk to the mailbox, let alone walk across town.”

Aria almost dropped her latte.

“You were attacked!?” She exclaimed in alarm.

“Inside voice, Aria.” Emily kept her voice calm. “I _might_ have been attacked.” She still didn’t know if she’d dreamed the whole thing.

She gave Aria a quick recap.

“Oh, my God.” Aria stared at her in shock. “If there’s any possibility it really happened we need to tell the police.”

“Tell them what? That I think a deranged stalker broke into my girlfriend’s house, roofied me, and put a dead girl’s glove underneath Ali’s couch? I don’t have any proof.” Emily shrugged.

“You have the glove.” Hanna pointed out.

“ _Ali_ has the glove. And for all I know _A_ planted it there just to mess with me.”

“Either way, someone was in Ali’s house.” Aria shuddered.

Emily didn’t have an argument for that. The glove _had_ somehow mysteriously appeared…unless it had been there the whole time and Emily subconsciously saw it and didn’t realize it. She’d also seen that same glove in the security footage. The image was burned into her mind. She knew that dreams were based on a person’s perception of reality. Her brain was working on overload. It wouldn’t surprise her if she was so obsessed with that glove that she’d brought on a nightmare about seeing it clamped over her mouth. It also wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that more than two pairs of that same pattern had been sold. It’s not like winter gloves were one of a kind.

_Coincidences happen, right?_ She told herself.

Then she shook her head. Coincidences happened, sure. But not in Rosewood. Those had to be the same gloves. But then how was it possible that she’d seen it in the security footage? Was Ali right? Did Charlotte wear them that night? Had she really come back to the house? Or had someone taken them from Charlotte that night?

Something else had been bothering her about her nightmare…or assault…whatever it had been. It had been nagging her since she’d found out about the glove. At first she thought for certain that the attacker had been _A_. Everything fit. The dollhouse video. The creepy message. It was typical _A._

The intimacy of the attack had felt familiar, like the attacker knew her…like whoever it was had studied her. It’s like the person had used her, played with her, in the past. Sara’s face flashed across her mind. Sara, being “rescued” from the dollhouse. Sara, latching on to Emily and pretending to be a wounded bird who needed to be nursed back to health. Sara, manipulating Emily and pretending to have feelings for her in order to keep her close so she could spy on her. Emily had always been an idiot when it came to trusting people. She knew that. She came by it honestly. Her love blinded her. But she always wanted to see the best in people. It had gotten her burned more than once in her life.

Was her past coming back to bite her in the ass again? Hanna had been right about all signs pointing to Sara Harvey. She had access to the dollhouse. She’d spent years torturing them with Charlotte. She would definitely have a motive to do all of this.

But then she started to wonder if the attack _had_ happened…what was the point? And how did finding the glove fit into it? If it had been Sara, why would she make it so blatantly obvious? Why incriminate herself with evidence that she’d been in Alison’s house? Was it all part of her game? Or was something else at play? Was it possible she was wrong about Sara? Was there someone else? She was going over every possible scenario in her mind. She became so focused on her thoughts that she’d withdrawn from her friends. They hadn’t missed her silence.

“What are you thinking?” Hanna asked.

“Why leave the glove behind?” Emily questioned.

“You said it yourself. To mess with you,” Aria replied.

“Yeah, but it’s not smart. And plan or no plan, _A_ is usually smart.”

“So, what are you saying?” Aria knitted her brow in confusion.

“I’m saying that _A_ doesn’t make mistakes.”

“No, Mona and Charlotte didn’t make mistakes,” Hanna stated. “If this is who we think it is…”

“Sara.” Aria interrupted Hanna.

“Right. The girl is hardly a genius.” Hanna sipped on her coffee.

“I don’t know. She played us for fools after the dollhouse.” Aria tentatively disagreed.

“No, she played _me_ for a fool. You guys were just collateral damage.” Emily felt heated just thinking about how stupid she’d been to fall into Sara’s trap back then. There were signs and she’d just driven right past them.

“Who’s to say that history isn’t repeating itself? Maybe she felt nostalgic and that fired up her torture neurons.” Hanna suggested.

“I don’t know.” Emily shook her head.

“Wait. Weren’t you the one who accused her in the first place?” Hanna looked at Emily in confusion. “What changed?”

“I still think she’s involved. But I don’t think she’s running things.”

“Her leader is worm food.” Aria reminded her.

“All the crap that Charlotte pulled on us, all the stuff Sara helped her with…do you really think they could have done all of that on their own?” Emily asked. “I’m betting there’s a third party we don’t know about.”

“You think someone else was at the dollhouse?” Aria pressed her lips together in thought. She looked terrified at the thought.

“I do.” Emily nodded.

Not that she would even begin to know where to look for the possible third person. All the times she had been tortured in the dollhouse, she’d never once seen or heard anyone. She’d once felt a pair of rough hands grab her by the back of the neck and force her into her cell when she fought against a VR helmet taking her on a tour of active combat zones with soldiers being shot and blown to pieces. She’d thought about her dad and panicked. Somehow she’d broken through her restraints and started clawing at the machine that was practically glued to her face. She’d felt a calloused palm squeeze the back of her neck, and before she knew it she was being forced to her feet and thrown into her bunk, the VR helmet still on her face.

“What was it you were going to tell me last night about the person who attacked you?” Hanna’s voice brought Emily back into reality. “You were saying they said something to you?”

“Uh…” Emily flinched uncomfortably thinking about those gloved hands smothering her. She anxiously ran her hand across the back of her neck. “Yeah. At least, I thought so. But now, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Aria asked.

“I honestly don’t know what really happened. My mind is kind of fuzzy, and I’ve been having bad dreams the past few nights. The lines of reality have been…” She tried to think of the right word to describe what a jumbled mess her mind felt like, “…I don’t know, skewed?” Emily rubbed her eyes. “I think we should just take this a step at a time. We need to find out if that video I saw of me was really broadcast.” Emily looked at Hanna. “Did you talk to Caleb about looking into it?”

“Yeah.” Hanna nodded. “He said something about hacking the Wi-Fi and then he started talking about codes and numbers and I stopped listening. I just know he said he’d look into it today.”

“Good. The sooner we can end this game of ‘real or not real’ the sooner I can go back to leaving the horror stories in my nightmares and keep it out of my real life.”

“Are your nightmares so bad that you’re really not sure when you’re dreaming and when you’re awake?” Aria asked delicately. She looked at Emily apprehensively.

Emily stared off in thought for a few seconds. She’d been having nightmares about all the years she’d been tortured ever since high school, but she’d never had dreams so realistic that she started to question her reality. Maybe Elliott had been on to something when he mentioned that heart patients struggled with strange aftereffects of cardiac arrest. Maybe she should talk about the nightmares to a therapist or…her friends. She trusted them with her life.

“Sometimes…” Emily trailed off. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. Normally when I wake up I’m able to get my bearings. But lately I’m having trouble shaking it off. I get pulled into this really dark part of my mind. It’s taking longer and longer for me to come out of _that_ place.”

Hanna nodded in understanding. Aria’s faced softened. They knew exactly what she meant.

“I still have nightmares about it, too.” Aria put her hand on top of Emily’s to comfort her.

“It’s enough that I’m having to deal with it.” Emily grimaced. “But last night Ali got dragged into it after I woke up mid panic-attack. She had to talk me out of it. I think it really threw her for a loop.”

“Been there.” Aria gazed blankly at the wall. “Ezra used to find me in the back of his closet sobbing so hard I was hyperventilating.”

“Caleb used to have to hold me so I wouldn’t hurt myself thrashing around.” Hanna sighed. “It took a lot of reassurance on his part to calm me down.”

Emily thought about how helpless Caleb, Toby, and Ezra must have felt when the girls were suffering. After they had been rescued Emily had been so wrapped up in keeping herself busy taking care of Sara that she never really shared her burden with anyone. Her parents had witnessed a few of her night terrors, but there wasn’t much they could do aside from hugging her and telling her that she was alive and safe.

Emily still remembered the look in her mom’s eyes the first time she’d woken her up with all of her screaming and crying. Pam had come rushing into Emily’s room, terrified that someone was trying to hurt her only to find her sitting up in her bed and quivering with fear. She’d climbed next to Emily without hesitation and wrapped her arms around her, her hand cradling the back of Emily’s head like she’d done when Emily was a child. Pam had unconsciously rocked her back and forth and told her everything was okay. Her words had been strong and soothing, but Emily could tell that she felt completely powerless.

Her dad had hidden his emotions well, but not well enough. She’d seen the forlorn expression on his face when he realized he was completely defenseless to help his daughter. It’s not like he wasn’t familiar with PTSD. He’d witnessed it in a lot of his friends after he’d come home from combat. He’d been through it himself. But nothing compared to seeing his child, his baby girl, the same infant he’d fallen in love with the instant he met her, suffering. All he’d been able to do was wrap her in a tight embrace and kiss the top of her head while she wept into his chest.

_“You’re safe, Emmy. I’ve got you.”_

Tears sprang to her eyes as she heard his words echoing in her head. How had their loved ones done it? How had they found the strength to hold them together when they were falling apart themselves? She often wondered what it must have felt like for someone to be on the outside looking in and feeling that helpless. That’s what Ali was going through now.

“What does Ali know about your nightmares?” Hanna questioned softly.

“Not much,” Emily said. “It’s not like it’s easy for me to talk to her about them. I mean, how do you segue into that conversation? _‘Great salmon, honey. Hey, remember that time your sister hooked me up to electrodes and used me as an electrical conductor’_?”

Her friends stared at her.

“You never told us that.” Aria’s brow furrowed in concern. “Charlotte shocked you?”

Aria wasn’t sure why she was so surprised at Emily’s confession. Charlotte had done terrible things to all of them inside that dollhouse. The girls had talked about some of their experiences, but Emily had always been the least willing to comply. She didn’t share much, but Aria could tell that she was in pain. The girls had always been curious as to if Charlotte had been harder on Emily than she’d been on the rest of them. Charlotte had such an obsession with Ali, and she knew that Ali and Emily had a strong connection. That had probably grated Charlotte’s nerves. She didn’t like the idea of anyone playing with her favorite toy.

“Only when I refused to play her stupid games.” Emily paused and bit her lip. “And I was pretty stubborn about playing them.”

“Jeeze, no wonder you have heart problems,” Hanna said.

Aria shot her a look.

“Nice, Han.” She rolled her eyes.

“What? I’m just saying that the root of most of our problems can be traced back to that psycho.” Hanna was unapologetic.

“I’d love to blame Charlotte for everything that’s wrong in my life. I really would.” Emily admitted. “But she didn’t force me to come back here. I came back for Ali. I came to help her. And now…” Emily sighed. “I just keep finding new ways to screw up her life.”

“Emily.” Aria looked at her, startled by how hard she was being on herself. “You know that’s not true. Do you know how many times you’ve put her…put _all_ of us back together?”

“It’s different now.” Emily clenched her jaw in thought.

“It’s not.” Hanna agreed with Aria. She hated to see Emily so down. The girls weren’t really sure Emily actually knew her worth. She had always been humble to a fault.

“It is, because this time I’m the one who broke her.” Emily explained.

She thought about how vulnerable Alison had been this past week. Since Emily had been back she’d seen Ali come unraveled in more ways than one. And she felt responsible. All she could think about was Toby telling her that Ali was not as indestructible as she acted. Ali had been wearing a mask for years. She had pretended to be bold and unflappable, but the truth was she was easily fractured. It’s why she’d lied so much when they were younger. It’s why she’d run away instead of letting the girls help her. It’s why she’d always felt the need to craft elaborate plans instead of just admitting what was going on. And it’s why she couldn’t cope without Emily around.

One nightmare was all it took for Ali to become completely undone. Granted, they’d both had heightened emotions last night, but the way that Ali had looked at her like she was watching the clock winding down struck a chord in Emily. Ali was right. Emily wasn’t in this alone anymore. And that scared Emily, because she knew exactly how Ali felt. She’d nearly fallen to pieces over the possibility of something happening to Ali in her nightmares. She knew once they figured out who _A_ was she could stop worrying about something happening to Ali. But with Ali, she was constantly going to have the fear of losing Emily. Ali’s nightmare didn’t end.

Emily had been quick to tell Ali that she was done worrying about her future, and that was true. But what about Ali’s future? What did it mean for Ali if the treatment for Emily’s heart failed? That’s all she’d been able to think about after Ali had broken down and sobbed in her arms last night. If Ali was that terrified of the _possibility_ of losing her...what would it do to her if it actually happened?

“You didn’t break her.” Aria reached out and touched Emily’s arm. “Charlotte’s death did.”

“Charlotte’s death wounded her.” Emily corrected her. “My problems are going to be the death of her. I’m afraid I’m going to ruin her. First my heart…now the nightmares. She already jumps every time I move. Now she’s going to sound the alarms every time I get a visit from Freddy Krueger, too.” After the nightmare she’d had, Emily would gladly take being chased by Freddy Krueger. He would be an upgrade over the ghost of Charlotte DiLaurentis. “At this rate she’s going to stress herself into a massive coronary…”

It came out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying. Aria and Hanna both looked away nervously.

“Sorry.” Emily shook her head. “Poor choice of words.” She frowned. “I just hate that I have her so upset.”

“She’s going to worry, Em,” Aria said in a matter-of-fact manner. “How can she not? She loves you. That’s what people do when they’re in love. They spend all day telling one another not to die because they don’t feel like training a new partner.”

Emily and Hanna both chuckled.

“Can I use that in my wedding vows?” Hanna’s eyes flickered with a hint of mischief. Suddenly her jaw dropped and her brows lifted up as if she’d had a great revelation. “Oh! _You_ should be in charge of the vows! Creativity is in your veins. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.” She paused and then frowned as if she’d smelled something sour. “Maybe I would have if someone wasn’t so hell-bent on destroying our happiness.” She sighed. “With our luck _A_ will lace the wedding cake with laxatives or rig the bouquet to explode.”

“Hanna, stop that.” Aria glared at her. “You and Caleb are going to have a beautiful wedding.” She faced Emily with a sweet smile. “And you and Ali are going to be fine. You guys have been through a lot. You’ll get through this, too.”

“Alison hired you to follow me around and be my therapist when she’s not around, didn’t she?” Emily eyed Aria suspiciously, but then a smile washed across her face.

“No. It’s just what I tell myself every day.” Aria shrugged. “It’s called self-soothing. I figure if I say it enough, it’ll be true. I just want our normal lives back.”

“Tell me about it.” Hanna nodded in agreement.

“I don’t even remember what normal feels like anymore,” Emily said with a hard laugh. “I saw this woman and her baby on the walk over here. The baby was giggling and her mom just looked _so_ happy. It was so pure. And I thought, ‘Wow, that looks so innocent. What’s that like?’”

“We’ll have that some day.” Aria tried to be optimistic.

“Will we?” Hanna raised an eyebrow at her like it was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.

“I was trying to be a calming influence.” Aria snapped at Hanna.

“Oh.” Hanna glanced at the floor. “Sorry.” Her gaze slowly drifted back up. “It’s just kinda hard to see the light when we’ve got someone in a dark hoodie gunning for us again.”

Emily grimaced and then rubbed her temples.

“Can we talk about something else?” Emily asked. She looked at Aria, desperate to change the subject. “In the spirit of weddings, how do you feel about your parents getting remarried?”

“Weird.” Aria admitted. “I mean, don’t get me wrong…I’m happy for them. But they have been more on and off than a couple of horny high schoolers. I honestly had no idea they were back together. My priorities are seriously messed up.” She tipped her latte up and took a sip. “It’s crazy to think that I was willing to believe that Ezra could be capable of murder, but not that my parents were having a secret rendezvous.”

“Why didn’t they just tell you they were seeing each other again?” Emily asked.

“They probably thought it was hotter keeping it a secret.” Hanna shrugged with a cheeky smile on her face.

Before Aria could protest her disgust at the thought of her parents feeling one another up, the front door to the coffee shop swung open and Spencer raced in, tired and out of breath. She spotted them and rushed over to them.

“Whoa, Spence, you look like you just ran a marathon.” Aria took in her friend’s appearance.

Her face was bright red and dripping with sweat. Her hair was sticking out all over the place. Her eyes were wild and darting all over the place.

“That’s because I ran here.” She huffed.

“Tone it down. It’s a bridal luncheon. Not a presidential meeting.” Hanna scoffed.

“Please tell me one of you drove here.” Spencer ignored Hanna.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not allowed behind the wheel of a car.” Emily put her hands up.

“My car is out front,” Aria said timidly. “Why? What’s going on?”

“We found it.”

“Found what?” Emily asked.

“The car!” Spencer exclaimed, almost manically.

“What car?” Hanna questioned.

“ _The_ car!” She slowed her speech, as if that was going to make them understand.

“You said that already.” Hanna’s brow scrunched in confusion. “Are you having a stroke?”

“Oh my God.” Spencer rolled her eyes. “The car that we’ve been looking for. The car Sara Harvey came to the funeral in. The car that was outside the church the night Charlotte was killed. THE CAR!”

Aria, Hanna, and Emily stared at her in shock.

“The rental?” Emily asked.

“It’s not a rental. The plates were forged so they could be traced back to the rental company. Toby and I were leaving the call center and I saw it in the parking lot. The license plate was different, but it was the same car. I asked Toby to run the plates. It’s registered to a man named James Bristow.”

“Who’s James Bristow?” Emily asked. She’d never heard that name before. Then again, that didn’t mean anything. In this city, no one was who they said they were.

“I don’t know, but he was hanging out with Sara Harvey at the deli across the street from the call center. He gave something to her and then she left. Toby took my car to tail her. His cruiser would have been way too obvious.” Spencer explained. “As James was leaving I heard him calling someone to set up a meeting at the _Edgewood Motor Court._ You guys, if we can get him to talk then maybe we can put an end to all this. But we have to go…like _right now_.”

Aria grabbed her keys and they ran out the door without asking anything else. A million thoughts were running through Emily’s mind as they drove towards the motel. What if this guy held the key to everything they had been looking for? Were they finally going to get some answers? Could they really get out from underneath _A_ ’s thumb? When they pulled into the parking lot Emily saw the car. Spencer was right. It was the same one they’d been searching for. Aria parked her car and the girls all exchanged a look. Emily smiled. She felt something that she hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.


	20. The Gloves Are Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone figure out that easter egg? No? Look up the name James C. Bristow.

* * *

 

Spencer was able to finagle the man’s room number out of the naïve young desk clerk. They walked down a small dank hallway looking for room 214. The place was wretched. The carpets were covered in stains, the walls were crumbling, and the ceiling was probably loaded with asbestos. It was a wonder the place hadn’t been condemned. Spencer rattled off about a dozen different safety and building violations as they weaved through the corridors.

“Is it just me or is that spot on the wall moving?” Aria stared at the wallpaper.

“That’s a roach.” Emily grimaced.

Aria gasped and jumped back a few inches. Emily couldn’t help but giggle at Aria’s overreaction.

“God, this place needs a lot more than a paint job and a delousing,” Spencer said.

“We can play _Extreme Home Makeover_ later. Come on.” Hanna walked up to the door and knocked on it.

“What are you doing?” Aria asked in a harsh whisper. She grabbed Hanna’s arm. “I thought the plan was to wait and see who shows up to meet him.”

“That could take hours. I’m tired of waiting. I want answers.” Hanna shrugged. She put her hand over the peephole and knocked again. “Housekeeping,” she said sweetly.

“Housekeeping in this place?” Emily muttered out a laugh. “I bet there’s still garbage in the wastebaskets from the 1970s.”

Hanna tried again, a little louder this time, “Housekeeping!”

“No, thanks!” A gruff voice with a slight Yankee accent called back. From the sounds of it he was from Brooklyn.

“Housekeeping.” Hanna persistently knocked on the door, her voice more meek and more pure than any of her friends had ever heard it.

There was a grunt of frustration followed by thumping around inside the room. He stomped to the door and it crept open.

“I told the front desk I didn’t want a turndown serv…” He stuck his head out and then stopped mid-sentence when he saw them standing there. “Oh, sh…”

“It’s nice to meet you, James.” Spencer shoved the door forward with surprising strength, sending him stumbling backwards into the room. “Now, why don’t you tell us who the hell you are and why you’re following us?”

“You’re the ones breaking into _my_ motel room.” He snapped back defensively.

“We didn’t break in. We barged in. There’s a difference,” Spencer said with a smarmy attitude.

“What are you, a lawyer?” He snorted out a calloused laugh. He tried to play it off as a joke, but his tone suggested that he knew exactly who Spencer was.

The girls took in his appearance. He was young, probably in his late twenties. His dark slick hair was pulled back out of his face. He was muscular, but not too big. His high defined cheekbones highlighted his olive green eyes. He had a pointed chin and large full lips surrounded by a thick dark goatee. Emily didn’t recognize him.

“Why are you here?” Emily asked.

“For the ambiance, obviously,” he said sarcastically as he lifted his hand and motioned around the room.

“Not _here._ ” Emily clarified. “Here in Rosewood. Who sent you? Are you working for Sara?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He stared at the girls and then at the door. They were blocking his only escape route. Judging by the way he’d reacted when he saw them and how he was trying to get away…he clearly knew something.

“Oh, I think you do.” Spencer folded her arms in front of her chest and glared at him. “I saw you with her today. And that’s not the first time you’ve been gallivanting around town with her. Seems like the two of you have gotten pretty cozy.”

“You need to leave.” James ordered.

“Sure. Just as soon as you tell us what we want to know.” Spencer stood her ground.

He took a challenging step towards them. Emily immediately stepped forward, ready to knock his ass out if it came to it. He stared at Emily for a minute with a peculiar smile on his face, almost like he was impressed with her boldness. Then he shuffled backwards a few feet. Never taking his eyes off the girls, he swept his arm against the dresser and then quickly grabbed something they couldn’t see. Spencer and Hanna froze. Aria’s hand shot out and she instinctively grabbed Emily’s arm. Her fingers tightened around Emily’s bicep.

“You broads have got some nerve barging in on me like this. You have no idea what you’re doing.”

They still couldn’t see what was in his hand. For all they knew, it was a gun. Emily felt her pulse quicken, her adrenaline fueling her. She felt the urge to tackle him, but she wasn’t sure she could take him…especially given that she’d just gotten out of the hospital a few days ago. She’d seen stars in her eyes on the ride over when she’d been flung against her seatbelt right where her bruises were when Aria had slammed on her brakes to avoid hitting a car that had cut her off in traffic. If she couldn’t handle that, she wasn’t sure how she was going to handle hand-to-hand combat. She just had to hope that her fake confidence would be enough to keep James from running. They all stood, unmoving, waiting for his next move.

“Would you relax?” James rolled his eyes and brought his hands up to where they could see them.

In his right hand he held a wallet. He flipped it open and grabbed a card from inside. He reached out towards Emily, who was the closest in his proximity and handed her the card. The girls stared at it.

**_James Bristow  
P.I._ **

“You’re a spy?” Hanna exclaimed.

“I’m an _investigator_.” His chest puffed out in a defensive manner.

“Oh, please. You’re a glorified security guard.” Hanna muttered with a laugh. “What’s the matter? Couldn’t cut it as a real cop?”

“Hanna,” Spencer said under her breath. “Don’t taunt the unstable man.”

He snorted out a sound that was a cross between a grunt and a whine. The girls couldn’t help but snicker. Had Hanna hurt the big bad detective’s feelings?

“What exactly are you investigating?” Emily asked, still not relaxed enough to stand down.

“That’s none of your business.” He walked over to a bottle of whiskey that was sitting on a desk across the room.

“You made it our business when you started chauffeuring a stalker around.” Spencer spit angrily.

“I mingle with a lot of people,” he said coolly. “Part of my job is to listen and observe.”

“And what have you observed while being here in Rosewood?” Emily questioned.

“Look, if you’re looking for a way to wrap up whatever problems you have with a nice little bow, I can’t help you. You’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m just the hired help.”

“Who hired you?” Emily didn’t let up.

“I can’t tell you that.” He replied flippantly as he poured himself a drink. “That’s confidential. What do you think the _private_ in Private Investigator stands for? I have a very...” He rolled his fingers over his glass, “... _particular_ clientele. And they don’t like chatty workers. I start telling their secrets and I don’t get paid. And uh…” He shrugged with a smile, “…a guy’s gotta eat.”

“Look, _Dick_.” Hanna growled, her lip turning up in a snarl. “We’re not going anywhere until we get some answers. So start talking.”

He took a swig of his alcohol and then smacked his lips and let out a satisfied breath.

“Sorry. Unless you’re my friend Jim Beam, my lips are sealed. You’re wasting your time.”

The girls exchanged glances, trying to figure out what they needed to do to get him to talk.

“What if we paid you for your troubles?” Spencer tried a different route.

 _What a Spencer Hastings thing to do._ Emily thought to herself. Throw money at the problem and hope it solved it. Still, she wasn’t about to argue with Spencer’s methods. If it worked, it worked.

“Honey,” he leaned forward. “You couldn’t afford me.”

“Okay, you want to play it that way?” Emily felt her anger rising to the surface. She was sick of being jerked around. If this guy had answers she was going to get them. “We know you were at _The Radley_ the night Charlotte was released.”

The girls looked at her in confusion. They weren’t really sure where she was going with this. James did. He suddenly perked up. His hand tightened around his glass. For a second, Emily thought she had him. Then he grinned.

“So were you. A lot of people go to _The Radley._ It’s a happenin’ place.” He looked at Hanna and raised his glass. “My compliments to your mom.”

“Watch it, Inspector Gadget.” Hanna glared angrily at him. Just hearing this man mention her mother made the hair on her body stand on its ends.

“And how many people who were at the hotel that night argued with Charlotte DiLaurentis outside the church where she was killed?” Emily maintained her gaze. He nearly dropped his glass and Emily knew she’d caught him in a trap. “You’re not the only one who can investigate things. There’s an eyewitness who saw the whole thing. The cops haven’t found him yet, but all it would take is _one_ phone call.” Emily pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I think the police would be really interested to know what your role is in all of this, don’t you?”

“Damn, Em.” She heard Hanna quietly utter under her breath.

“I didn’t kill her.” He ground his teeth together.

“Maybe.” Emily shrugged, trying to keep her cool. “Maybe not. But we have proof you were with her.” She continued bluffing, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see how nervous she felt inside. “So unless you want to end up investigating the inside of a prison cell you’ll tell us what you and Sara Harvey are up to.”

“You’re blackmailing me?” He glared angrily.

Emily kept her eyes fixed on his, not moving, not blinking…daring him to test her. Her friends looked at her, impressed with her ability to keep a straight face. She’d clearly upped her poker game. James stared back at her with contempt in his eyes.

“You don’t have crap.”

“Try me.” Emily held up her phone.

He reached for something. Aria and Hanna flinched. Emily didn’t move. She’d already stared death in the face once. She wasn’t afraid of some washed up jerk in a motel room. Spencer reached out and grabbed Emily’s arm, ready to run. Emily barely felt it. She was done running. Instead of a weapon, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He slapped the pack against his palm a few times and then pulled out a cigarette.

“She was right about you.” He pulled a lighter out and then let out an irritated sigh. “She told me not to underestimate you.”

“Who?” Emily asked. “Sara?”

“What is it about that girl that has everyone’s panties all in a bunch?” He shook his head and then rolled his eyes. “No. I’m not working for her. I was hired to _watch_ her…and Charlotte.”

“Okay, well, Charlotte’s dead, so I’m going to go ahead and say you suck at your job.” Hanna frowned.

“I’m an investigator, not a babysitter.” He slipped his cigarette in between his lips and lit it. “Not my fault if the bratty child drinks the bleach under the sink when I’m off the clock.” He took a drag of the cigarette and blew out several rings of smoke.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to smoke in here,” Aria said quietly.

Her friends all turned and gave her a weird look. Hanna gaped at her and mouthed ‘seriously?’ Aria shrugged unapologetically.

“If you’re not working for Sara, then who are you working for?” Emily turned back to face James.

“I think I’ve said enough. I’m not about to roll over and snitch on my boss.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Emily held her phone up again and waved it around.

“Leave him alone, Em.” A familiar voice rang out behind them. “He’s just the brawns. I’m the brains.”

Emily recognized the voice immediately, but when the girls turned around to face her they were still shocked to see her standing in the doorway, her eyes sparkling and a sly grin on her face. She looked so out of place here. The motel was like a septic tank in Michigan, but she was pure Hollywood. She was dressed to kill. Thankfully, she didn’t look like she was in a murderous mood. They stared at her, speechless.

“Déjà vu, right?” she had a weird look on her face.

Hanna was the first one to break the silence.

“Are you kidding me?” She exclaimed angrily. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

“I should have known you’d figure it out sooner or later.” Mona stepped into the room.

“What the hell, Mona? Seriously, what the actual hell!?” Hanna shrieked.

Emily saw the look in Hanna’s eyes. It was the same fiery look she got before she completely blew her top. Before Hanna could explode, Emily reached over and gently put her palm against Hanna’s forearm. Hanna glanced at Emily with a look that said _can’t we just kill her a little bit_? Emily responded with a slight shake of her head. She knew they didn’t have the full story yet. Hanna sighed. Emily felt her relax under her touch.

Mona walked across the room to where James was standing.

“I’ll take it from here, James.” She ran her fingers up his arm and smiled seductively at him.

He lifted his brows and smiled back. He grabbed his drink and walked out of the room, raising his glass at the girls as he walked by them.

“He’s cute, don’t you think?” Mona asked after he’d left the room.

“Adorable.” Aria rolled her eyes.

“Loyal, too.” Mona traced her fingers across his wallet on the shelf. “He certainly didn’t cave like I thought he would. I told him you’d probably come looking at some point. You four never could live with unanswered questions. But coming after a lackey? You’re better than that.” Mona clucked her tongue. “What did I always teach you girls? You’re snooping in the wrong place. The worker bees may make the honey, but the queen controls the hive.”

“You know that sometimes the workers overthrow the queen, right?” Spencer scowled at Mona.

“O ye of little faith.” Mona blew off Spencer’s hostility. “James is a good guy. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be on my payroll.”

“Wait a second. _You_ hired him?” Emily questioned.

“Of course I hired him. And thanks to you I’m probably going to have to give him some kind of bonus.” There was a strange impish pitch underlying her tone that the girls didn’t quite understand. “You really rattled his cage, Emily. You know how to shake ‘em down, huh? You’ve come a long way from being a toothless shark.”

“Yeah, well, you back any animal into a corner, it’s going to bite.” Emily shrugged, unfazed.

Mona nodded. Emily couldn’t tell if she was impressed, angry, proud, or something else. She saw Mona glance down at the new accessory on her wrist. Mona’s eyes narrowed in thought. A look of realization flashed across her face. She made eye contact with Emily. She held her gaze for a few seconds and then looked away.

“What’s going on here, Mona?” Spencer glowered angrily. “What are you and your little crony up to?”

“Look, Spencer, I’m not the enemy. I haven’t been for a long time.” Mona looked perturbed. “You came for answers, right? Ask away.”

“How long have you been playing Harriett the Spy?” Aria looked around the room. Emily got the feeling she was wondering if there was some hidden lair cloaked in secrecy somewhere. They hadn’t exactly fared well when it came to secret motel rooms.

“Since I was three,” Mona replied with quirky smile.

“Cut the crap, Mona.” Hanna had calmed down significantly, but she was still on edge.

“I had this plan in motion the second I found out that Alison was lobbying for Charlotte’s release. I kept very close tabs on her. I know from experience that just because someone is locked up doesn’t mean they aren’t very dangerous creatures. And when I found out that Sara went to visit Charlotte I started to suspect something was amiss.”

So Sara hadn’t been lying to Alison when she told her she’d seen Charlotte. Had she lied about caring about Charlotte? Had she really gone to the graveyard that night to pay her respects? Emily chewed on her lip in thought. This just strengthened the theory that Sara would want to extort Charlotte’s killer out of the girls by any means necessary. Emily felt a ball of tension in her stomach and she groaned. She was tired of all of this yo-yoing back and forth.

“And you didn’t think to let us in on this?” Spencer was fuming.

“Of course I thought about it.” Mona rolled her eyes. “But then Aria fumbled through that hearing like a drunk baby deer, and if you think I was willing to leave my fate in your fumbling hands after that you must be smoking the drapes. I know instability when I see it.”

A twinge of pain flashed across Aria’s face. It pissed Emily off.

“Back off, Mona.” She warned her with the same heated force she’d threatened James with moments earlier.

Mona seemed a little stunned by Emily’s brazen tone, though she shouldn’t have been surprised that Emily was the one putting her in her place. Mona had been the one who had molded Emily into a fighter.

“I’m sorry, Aria.” Mona sounded genuinely flustered. Her face softened for a moment, showing a trace of vulnerability. “I just…I didn’t want to end up back in that horrible place.” She looked pained. “I still have nightmares,” she sounded frustrated. “Three shrinks and a whole lot of prescriptions, but I still have bad dreams.”

She gazed off into the distance, not really looking at anything. Emily knew that look. She lived that look every day. Knowing that not even therapy and medications could help stop their inner demons felt like a blow to her. And it was particularly worse for Mona since she’d been held captive for months before the rest of the girls had gotten there. Thinking of what Mona must have gone through made Emily feel sick to her stomach. She sighed, her anger at Mona quickly dissipating. She looked at her friends and saw they looked just as uncomfortable.

“If you really felt that strongly, then why would you lobby for her release?” Hanna asked, no hint of any animosity in her tone at all. “I mean, I know why we did…”

 _For Ali._ Emily thought to herself, though she didn’t dare say it out loud. Mona didn’t have the same loyalties to Alison.

“…but why did you?”

Mona shook off her sad expression and replaced it with the same determined look Emily had seen many times over the years when Mona was trying to appear as unbreakable as she possibly could.

“I needed everyone to believe I was past everything with Charlotte. I needed them to think that I sympathized with her and that I had no interest in keeping her from moving forward with her life. I knew she was going to get out, so I decided to play the right side. That way I knew I would have control over her release…and I could be prepared for it. James was already watching Sara at that time.” Her lip curled up at the mention of her name. “I trust that bleached blonde q-tip looking bimbo about as much as I trust a cat left alone with a goldfish.”

Emily had never liked Mona more than she did at that moment. The hatred she had for Sara made her feel closer to her.

“Wait, how was he watching Sara if she was in Atlanta?” Aria’s face scrunched in confusion.

“Sara was never on that flight. Her alibi is a fake. She paid someone to pretend to be her. She’s been in town a lot longer than anyone realizes.”

“Looks like you were right, Em.” Hanna glanced at her friend.

“James got a job as her personal driver a few weeks ago. It gave us a way in. We’ve been monitoring her for weeks. Sara and Charlotte were planning something,” Mona said. “But whatever it was fell apart the night Charlotte died.”

“Do you know who killed Charlotte?” Hanna asked eagerly.

Maybe they were going to be able to put an end to this after all. Emily looked at Mona hopefully, but when she saw the look on Mona’s face that hope disappeared.

“No.” She sounded deflated. “All I know is that she asked James for a ride to the church and then flipped out on him when she got there. She was convinced he was sleeping with Sara, and that pissed her off.”

So that’s what the argument had been about.

“Why?” Aria asked.

Emily thought about what Ali had said to her the day she’d come by the loft,

_“I think Sara and Charlotte were closer than we thought.”_

Had they really cared about each other that much?

“I don’t really need to explain how possessive that girl was, do I?” Mona laughed a hard laugh. “James stuck around for a little while. He didn’t see anyone come in or out of the church. He left a little before 4. The next morning we heard the news. And we’ve been trying to piece together what happened ever since. If the police get wind of the fact that James was there he could be in serious trouble. I’m trying to prevent that.”

“Since when do you care about your lackeys?” Spencer looked at her in suspicion.

Before Mona could answer, James walked into the room. He wordlessly walked over to where he’d left his wallet.

“Forgot to pay the parking fee,” he said as he glanced at Mona. “Our reservation is at 2. We need to head out soon.” He walked towards the bathroom.

“Thanks, babe,” Mona said in a sing-songy voice.

“ _Babe_?” Hanna lifted her brow and snorted out a laugh. “Mona Vanderwaal, you’re boffing the help!”

“He’s not just the help, Hanna.”

“But he said he was getting paid.” Aria looked at Mona in confusion.

“Oh, he is.” Mona had a suggestive grin on her face.

“Then what was that all about a man needing to eat?” Emily wondered out loud.

“Did he say what was on the menu?” Mona lifted her brows mischievously.

“Oh, gross.” Spencer cringed. “Overshare.”

James walked out of the bathroom.

“Hey, you…pimp boy.” Hanna grabbed her phone. James pressed his lips together in annoyance, but humored Hanna. “Was Charlotte wearing these gloves the night she was killed?” She pulled up a picture of the glove she’d taken from the security camera.

He looked at it for a few seconds, his brow tightened in concentration. He looked up at Hanna and the girls and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she was.” He clenched his jaw in thought. “In fact, I think I might have dashcam footage from inside the car that night. I’m heading to get the car now. You interested?”

“You lead the way.” Spencer was eager to jump into the mix.

“Yeah, I’ll go, too,” Hanna quickly added.

It was probably equal parts wanting to get out of the motel and equal parts wanting to make sure Spencer didn’t walk into some kind of trap alone. They left with James. Seconds after they left, Aria’s phone rang. When she looked at her screen she saw that it was Ezra. Aria looked at Emily and Mona and then back at her phone. She looked uncertain about leaving them alone.

“You should probably get that,” Emily suggested. “He needs you right now.”

That was all Aria needed to hear to take the call. She walked out into the hallway. Emily could hear her voice getting softer as she walked down the corridor. The motel room was eerily silent. It made Emily a little antsy because it reminded her of all the times in the dollhouse she’d been sitting in complete silence only to have random alarms jolt her out of that silence, or even worse, the times the voices of her loved ones agonizing over her disappearance had been blared over the speakers. Sometimes she’d be sleeping in a quiet room only to be jarred out of her slumber to the sounds of her mother sobbing.

“So, what’s the damage?” Mona’s voice cut into the silence.

“What damage?” Emily asked in confusion.

Mona motioned towards the monitor on her wrist. She had a melancholy expression on her face.

“My mom had to wear one after her heart attack a few years ago,” she explained.

“Oh, I didn’t know your mom had a heart attack. I’m sorry.”

“She’s okay now.” Mona had a waning smile on her face. It was a smile that clearly said she was still worried about her mother. Emily understood that on a much deeper level than she was willing to admit. “I’m guessing your heart problems aren’t from eating too many trans fats or clogged arteries.”

“Good guess.” Emily replied, trying to be as vague as she could.

“Are you going to be okay?” Mona questioned.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She shrugged.

Mona nodded, but looked at her skeptically. Emily could tell that she didn’t believe her.

“You know, you’ve gotten very good at hiding things, Emily,” Mona said. “A little too good if you ask me.” She took a thoughtful breath. “When you came back to town I knew there was something different about you. I could see it in your eyes. We’ve all changed, but you have always stayed the same at your core. Despite everything we’ve gone through you’ve always had that light that made you Emily Fields. It’s annoying, actually.” She laughed jokingly. “But now…I see something in you that I haven’t seen before. It’s getting harder and harder for you to hold on to that light. You may be able to fool the others, but I know what it’s like to get lost in a darker part of yourself. All that smoke you were blowing at James…that wasn’t just you trying to get answers. You really do feel like you’ve got nothing left to lose, don’t you?”

Emily carefully considered Mona’s words. She shuffled her feet and let out a shaky breath.

“No,” Emily replied. “Mona, I have _everything_ to lose.” She had no idea what her future held, or how much longer she even had in life. The last thing she wanted to do was waste time chasing down their new stalker. “That’s why we have to put an end to this.”

“An end to what?” Mona eyed her suspiciously.

Emily clamped her mouth shut. Was it possible Mona didn’t know about _A_? But Mona knew everything. She wanted to smack herself for saying too much.

“The whole Charlotte thing.” Emily quickly tried to backtrack. “We’re being kept here by the investigation. The sooner it’s over, the sooner we can get on with our lives.”

Mona didn’t look convinced. In fact, she looked downright insulted that Emily was trying to lie to her. She could practically see the wheels turning in Mona’s head. A look of realization washed over her face.

“Oh my God, it’s happening again, isn’t it?” Mona exclaimed in surprise.

“No,” Emily blurted out. “It’s…” She looked at Mona, uncertain of how to proceed. “I just…” She thought very carefully about what she wanted to say. Her thoughts drifted to the dollhouse again. Mona had been there, too. Suddenly, Emily felt herself wondering if she was the only one who thought Charlotte and Sara had another helper. “You were in the dollhouse longer than any of us,” Emily said nervously, afraid to broach the subject. She saw Mona flinch uncomfortably. She waited a few seconds before she added, “While you were there did you ever get the sense that there were others…I mean, besides Charlotte and Sara?”

Mona contemplated the question. There was a conflicted look on her face. Her lips pursed in thought.

“I’d be lying if I said I never considered it,” she finally found the courage to reply. “I constantly asked myself how one person could keep the five of us captive and never slip up. I mean, Charlotte was good, but she wasn’t _that_ good.” Then Mona shook her head and frowned. “But then I decided it’s too much to think about. To think there could be another monster out there like that…” The thought was too much for her to bear.

It was strange hearing Mona talk about being afraid, especially considering she’d spent all of junior year tormenting the girls. But Emily had always known that Mona had deep-seated fears that she buried underneath her tough exterior.

“Are you trying to tell me that you think there was someone else down there in the dark reveling in our misery?” Mona asked.

“I think so.” Emily nodded.

Her eyes flickered. It was a look that Emily recognized. For a brief second, Mona was back in the bunker, back to that feeling of hopelessness. Emily felt guilty for even bringing it up. Mona slowly turned to Emily and let out a sigh.

“I picked you,” she said quietly, almost so soft that Emily had barely heard it.

“What?”

“When Charlotte forced us to choose someone to hurt,” she admitted. “I picked you. I knew you were strong enough to handle it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Emily asked, her voice strained. She couldn’t help but picture herself sitting at the same table being forced to make the same decision as Mona.

“Because if I did anything that led to…” she glanced at Emily’s wrist and then her eyes flashed back up towards Emily’s face. Her lips twitched.

“You didn’t have anything to do with it.” Emily quickly put Mona’s mind at ease. “That game was just psychological warfare. Ever hear of _The Milgram Experiment_?”

The only person who had ever been responsible for shocking Emily had been Charlotte.

“She tricked us.” Mona frowned. She didn’t look sad though. She looked angry. “God, that bitch destroyed us.”

“Not entirely.” Emily disagreed. “We’re still standing, aren’t we?”

“Well look at that. The light _is_ still on.” Mona smiled.

“It’s always on.” Emily smiled back. “Sometimes I just need to change the bulb.”

Emily’s phone beeped. It was a text from Spencer telling her that they were ready to go. The text mentioned to meet them out front because Hanna didn’t want to step foot back into the motel. Emily didn’t blame her. She felt like she’d caught an STD just by walking inside.

“Looks like the girls got what we were looking for.” Emily quickly tapped a text back letting Spencer know she was on her way. “Thanks.”

“Any time.” Mona shrugged it off, but Emily could tell the praise made Mona feel good.

As Emily was walking out, Mona called out after her.

“Emily?”

Emily turned around to face her.

“Look, I know you and I aren’t exactly besties, but I do actually care what happens to you. So just…be careful, okay? You’re sitting on a really precarious secret and if something is happening and you girls are being targeted again you might be number one on the list. Everyone knows the five of you have a bond that connects you to one another. It’s like your souls are linked. Spencer is the brains. Hanna is the backbone. Aria is the conscience. Ali is the driving force. And you, Emily Fields, are the heart. Take you away and it all falls apart. People who know that are very dangerous.”

“And what exactly are you?” Emily looked at her with a curious expression.

“Me?” She seemed surprised by the question. She thought about it for a minute before she answered, “The helping hands, of course. Extremely important, but underappreciated until I get cut off. It’s only when we lose something that we realize how much we need it.”

Emily nodded in understanding.

“You be careful, too, Mona.”

“I plan to stay one step ahead at all times,” Mona said.

And Emily knew she would. She felt strangely comfortable having Mona on their side. The girls reviewed their new evidence on their way back into town. James had a few security photos that proved Charlotte was wearing the gloves the night she was killed. The mystery was how Sara had gotten them to wear them at the funeral, and how one of those gloves had ended up back in Alison’s house. If Sara had killed Charlotte, surely she wouldn’t have been stupid enough to wear her gloves to the funeral. And if Sara was _A_ she wouldn’t have incriminated herself by leaving the glove where Emily could find it. If they could find the person responsible for the glove mess they would have a lead on _A_.

The girls decided to postpone dress shopping after their tiring afternoon. Aria dropped Hanna and Spencer off at _The Brew_ and then gave Emily a ride back to Ali’s house. Emily was surprised to see Ali’s car in the driveway. She was supposed to be at the charity event. She said goodbye to Aria and then headed inside. She heard rustling around upstairs.

“Ali?” she called as she walked up the stairs.

“In the bedroom!” Ali called back. Her voice sounded frazzled.

When Emily walked into the bedroom she found Ali rooting through her drawers.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Emily hadn’t missed Ali’s nervous tone.

“Did you take the glove?” She turned around and faced Emily.

“No. Why?”

“Because I can’t find it. I went to get it from the glovebox and it wasn’t there. Then I thought maybe I just imagined putting it in there and that I left it here at home.”

Emily felt her chest tighten at the mention of the missing glove. She knew exactly where it was. It was wherever _A_ wanted it. Well, at least Tanner didn’t have it.

Ali stopped digging and looked around the room for a few seconds. She walked over to her armoire and opened the door. She looked around on the shelves, making careful sweeping motions behind the shelves to make sure she didn’t miss anything.

“I thought you and the girls were going dress shopping.” Ali placed one foot on the edge of the bottom shelf and hoisted herself up so she could check the top of the armoire.

“Something came up,” Emily said. She heard the armoire creak and saw that Ali’s balance was unsteady. Ali started to turn around to answer her, but her foot slipped. “Ali, be careful!”

She closed the distance between them and caught her before she could fall backwards into the edge of the dresser. Ali fell into Emily’s open arms, crashing against her bruised ribs. Emily sucked in a pained gasp, but kept her grip on Ali so they wouldn’t both go tumbling to the ground. Ali quickly regained her footing. Her gaze immediately darted to Emily’s pained expression.

“Oh, crap.” Ali’s eyes became laden with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just still a little tender.” Emily let out the breath she’d been holding in.

“I’ll go get an icepack.”

Before she could object Ali was rushing out of the room like a woman on a mission. Emily laughed at Ali’s need to be in control. Emily took off her tank-top and walked over to the mirror. She looked at the bruise protruding out underneath her sports bra. It was a mixture of deep purple and light blue with a hint of dark crimson in the center.

“Here.” Ali walked in with an icepack she’d wrapped in a cloth. She grimaced when she saw Emily’s bruise. She’d seen it plenty of times, but it still bothered her. “That looks like it hurts like hell.”

She gently ran the fingertips of her right hand over the base of the bruise. Her fingers were cold from the ice, but they felt good against Emily’s bare skin. Alison put her other hand, which was surprisingly warm, on Emily’s waist. Her touch was like a mixture of fire and ice and it was the perfect combination. Alison gingerly placed the icepack against Emily’s chest, watching her face to make sure she wasn’t causing any discomfort. Emily sucked in a surprised gasp when she felt the cool compress against her heated flesh.

“Sorry,” Ali said. “I know it takes a few seconds to get used to the cold.”

“Ali, this isn’t really necessary. You don’t have to…”

“Shut up, Emily.” Ali rolled her eyes. She’d said it without any hint of malice. Instead, she looked at Emily like she was being ridiculous. “You might as well get used to doing what I say. I don’t care how tough you think you are, you’re going to let me take care of you. One of us has to stay balanced for the sake of us.”

“I’m sorry? Who caught who after she almost fell and busted her ass?” Emily gave Ali a hard time.

“I would have stuck that landing and you know it.”

Emily laughed, barely feeling the stinging sensation on her chest anymore because of the icepack. She glanced down at the bruise and then back up at Ali. She didn’t want to tell her she was right, but Ali saw it written all over her face.

“See? I told you so.” She had a victorious grin on her face.

“Don’t you have a glove to find?” Emily tried to keep her from gloating.

“I’ll worry about the glove later.” She pulled the icepack away and sat it down on the dresser.

Alison ran her hands down the length of Emily’s sides, her fingers coming to rest on Emily’s waist. She dipped down and gently kissed the bruise on Emily’s chest. Her skin was extremely tender, especially after having the cold compress held against it, but Alison’s warm feathery lips sent a tingling sensation up Emily’s spine.

“Better?” Alison asked, gazing upward. Her eyes looked innocent, but her smile was seductive.

“Getting there.” Emily pulled her up towards her face. Her thumbs pushed against either side of Alison’s neck right below her jaw, her fingers gently stroking the soft flesh beneath Alison’s ears. Their lips crashed together, their tongues fighting for dominance. Right away Alison noticed that the kiss was different than last night. It was softer, less urgent. It was tentative, yet confident. Alison leaned into it, her hands pulling Emily’s hips closer to her body. Emily could feel Alison’s body heat radiating against her, even with Alison’s thin shirt between them.

Emily pulled back and gazed into Alison’s beautiful blue eyes. Her pupils were large, making her irises appear much darker. They sparkled like sapphires. She leaned down and pushed her forehead against Alison’s, their lips just centimeters from touching again. Alison could still taste Emily’s mouth inside her own. She met Emily’s gaze and smiled, a smile reserved for Emily and Emily only. It was both shy and satisfactory. It was like she couldn’t believe that someone like Emily would love someone like her.

“What was that for?” Alison asked.

“For being you.” Emily brought a hand up to Alison’s face and pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Emily felt Alison’s hands delicately running down her arms. She pressed her forearms against Emily’s and raised their arms in unison. The grooves of their elbows and wrists came together and their palms met, their fingers weaving together like a perfect work of art. Emily felt like she was home. She knew that no matter what kind of day she had, she would always be able to come home to her blonde beauty. Looking into Alison’s eyes made Emily feel like she was living a dream, and it was a dream she’d be perfectly content never to wake up from.


	21. Internal Affairs

Emily knew something was wrong when she woke up. Her body was achy and she felt groggy. She could hear voices, but they were distant. She felt like the ground was moving beneath her. She wanted to sit up, but she felt a force on top of her body that was keeping her down. It’s like she was riding a rollercoaster and it was going so fast that the weight of the wind was pushing her against the seat, rendering her paralyzed.

“Hold on, Emily. Just hold on,” she heard a familiar voice. But it wasn’t the voice she wanted to hear.

When she looked over she saw Elliott sitting next to her. His presence confused her.

“What’s…wha…”

“Em?” It was Alison’s voice this time. Emily looked over to her other side and saw Alison staring at her with tears in her eyes.

“Ali, what’s going on?” She thought she’d said the words out loud, but she didn’t hear anything come out of her mouth.

She tried to remember something… _anything_ that would explain what was happening. She thought she recalled being with Ali and Elliott somewhere. Dinner, maybe?

No, that wasn’t right. Why would Elliott have been with them at dinner? Maybe they had run into him. Or maybe they had met him. Emily had been having trouble sleeping. Had Ali convinced her to seek help?

Her head was throbbing. Her brain hurt trying to figure it out. Eventually, she just let go. She heard a loud noise that shattered her eardrums and then her vision went black.

“Emily…” Ali’s voice was the last thing she heard before the deafening silence.

The darkness was overpowering. The silence was staggering. She felt like she was fading out of existence. She fought it for a while. But there was only so much she could take. A warm sensation flooded her body.

When she opened her eyes she was blinded by a fluorescent light above her head. She could hear the incessant buzzing noise from the bulbs. She looked around. She didn’t recognize where she was, but she felt the strangest sensation that she had been there before. The room looked an awful lot like a medical facility.

She was at the hospital? Why? What had happened? Emily immediately started touching her body, feeling for bruises or new incisions. After the panic dissipated she looked down and saw that she didn’t have an ID bracelet on. And she was in her normal clothes.

Where the hell was she?

“Ali?” Emily sat up, freely, in bed.

She knew there was no way Ali would have left her alone if something had happened. But there was no answer. She looked around. She wasn’t hooked up to any machines. She was just sitting in the desolate room, alone. No doctors, no nurses, not even anyone from the janitorial staff. Something felt off. She stood up, though her legs felt weak. The floor was freezing beneath her bare feet.

The room was big. The hospital bed was up against the back wall. A blood pressure cuff hung loosely on a shelf above the bed. A medical waste bucket was fixed to the wall next to it. There were two matching end tables on either side of the bed and a chair sitting in the corner of the room. There was a set of drawn curtains on one side of the room and two identical doors on the other side. Emily assumed one was the bathroom and one led out into the hallway.

She walked over to the first door. It was locked. When she reached for the second door she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. When her hand touched the doorknob she realized that she wasn’t in the hospital. The room was too pristine. It’s like someone had set the stage for something. All at once, the room flooded her memories. She _had_ been here before. But instead of the hospital bed, there had been a table. That table. The steel cold table where she’d woken up next to her friends after Charlotte drugged them after they’d nearly escaped from the dollhouse. Emily yanked on the door, but it didn’t budge. She paced across the room, ripping the curtains aside. The windows were sealed with cement on the outside. Emily whipped around, spinning on her heels.

She heard a whirring noise and when she turned towards it she saw that the wall was sliding open to reveal a large video screen. The screen was divided into four sections. The first three were cut vertically with each section showing close up images of live video feeds of Hanna, Aria, and Spencer. They all looked terrified. The fourth section was cut at the bottom. The video showed Mona in a small dark space curled up in a ball and shivering. A message flashed across the screen.

_“It’s game time. You have sixty seconds to save them.”_

“Oh, God no. Not this.” Emily started trembling.

Another slot in the wall started to open, revealing a panel with three uniquely shaped locks that only a specific key would open. It looked like a demented version of the game _Perfection_ where you had to match shapes with a hole in an empty game board before a timer went off and sent game pieces flying everywhere. Emily had been great at the game when she was younger. After today she got the feeling she’d never want to play it again.

She heard a beep and when she looked up she saw that a clock had appeared on the bottom of the TV screen. It was counting down from 60. She looked around the room, panicked. What was she supposed to do? She looked at the locks and saw that underneath each one there were little square shaped slabs that opened. When she pulled the first one open she saw a note taped inside.

_“If you sleep on the job they will be the ones going to their eternal rest.”_

Her brain went into overdrive as she tried to figure out what the note meant. She watched helplessly as the clock slowly ticked down. She had 54 seconds to save her friends. Suddenly, something in her brain clicked. It was a game. A riddle.

_Sleep._

The bed. She quickly shuffled over to the bed and started searching for the key. She tossed the pillows, stripped the sheets and felt all around the edges. She shoved her hands underneath the mattress and felt around the base. Her fingers hit something solid and it slid out the other side, hitting the floor with a clink. She grabbed the key and put it in the corresponding lock.

She opened the second slab and found another note.

_“Tick tock, bitch.”_

38 seconds left. She frantically looked around the room and spotted a clock on the wall above the bed. She quickly climbed up between the bed and the end table to grab it. Her foot slipped and she bashed her knee against the table, but she barely felt it. She practically ripped the clock off of the wall. She slammed it against the ground, trying to shatter it. Shards of sharp plastic went all over the place. She pulled the clock apart and found the second key. She quickly slid the key into the second lock and opened the third slab.

_“Don’t WASTE time.”_

21 seconds. Her heart felt like it might explode in her chest. She looked at the medical waste bucket on the wall. That had to be it. She had no idea what was inside, but she knew she couldn’t let her friends suffer. She reached in without hesitation, expecting to be jabbed by a bunch of sharp needles. But the bucket was empty. She felt around, her fingers grazing something cold on the bottom. She had a hard time gripping the key because her fingers were dripping with sweat. She finally got it out and fell to her knees in front of the third lock. Her hands were shaking so much that she could barely get the key into the lock.

3 seconds.

She finally got the key inside the lock, but it jammed. She let out a cry of frustration.

“Come on!”

The clock hit zero. The cameras cut off. Seconds later she heard screaming coming from the other side of the door. She stumbled to her feet and grabbed the door handle. She knew it was no use, but she didn’t care. She tugged and pulled anyway. The screams got louder.

“STOP!” Emily heard herself yell. “Please, stop!” Her cries became more frantic. “Don’t hurt them!” She started pounding on the door. “Leave them alone! It’s not their fault! I’m the one who failed at your stupid game! You want to take it out on someone, take it out on me! Do you hear me? Come in here and face me, you coward! I’m the one you want!”

She scratched and tore at the door until her fingertips were bleeding. Her palms were slick with blood from all the cuts on her hands. She drew back and started throwing herself at the door. She threw her shoulder into it and then started kicking at the doorjamb with her bare feet. Just as she was about to give up the latch broke and the door swung open. She scrambled out and into a larger room. She turned towards the screams only to see a table with set of speakers hooked up to a large audio device. It was playing recorded screams. She angrily kicked the table over and knocked the equipment to the ground.

Then there was nothing but silence. The only sound she could hear was her heavy breathing. She ground her teeth together and squeezed her throbbing fingers into the palms of her hands. Just as she was starting to regain her composure she heard a noise behind her. She spun around and saw a masked figured staring back at her. She opened her mouth to scream, but before she had a chance the person raised an arm and drove a syringe into her chest and then depressed the plunger. Her vision blurred and the room faded from her sights and she was falling through a bottomless pit of blackness.

Then suddenly, she heard Alison.

“Emily…” Her voice was soft and calming. “Em, come back to me.”

Emily felt something warm on her face. When she opened her eyes she saw Alison leaning over her. She was safe in Alison’s bed. Alison’s warm body was pressed against Emily’s side. She had one arm draped over Emily’s chest, her hand cupping Emily’s face. Her other arm was underneath Emily’s shoulder, her hand against the nape of her neck, her fingers gently drawing circles there to help ease some of Emily’s tension. She’d heard Emily muttering in her sleep and had reached for her when she’d heaved out a choked sob. Alison knew she’d be unable to wake her, so she’d just held her…gritting her teeth as she watched, knowing that Emily was suffering. She hated that she couldn’t just fix it. If Emily’s demons had a corporeal form she would beat the crap out of them, but since everything that haunted Emily lived inside of her…Ali couldn’t do anything. And it pissed her off.

She kept her focus on Emily’s eyes. Emily blinked slowly, like she was coming out of a trance. She had one fist tightly wound into the bedsheets and another clutching her night shirt. She felt dizzy. She sat completely still, waiting for her senses to come back to her. After a few seconds, the feeling passed. She unclenched her fists and breathed a sigh of relief.

Emily put her shaking hand on top of Alison’s wrist to keep her hand from moving away from her face. She wanted, and needed, her touch. Alison understood exactly what she needed. She didn’t move, her eyes still fixed on Emily’s.

Emily felt a thin sheen of sweat coating her body. Her heart was thumping so hard she could hear her pulse pounding in her head. But it was nothing compared to a few nights prior when Alison had to talk her down from her panic attack. It was easier for her to come out of it this time. She concentrated on Alison. Her eyes. Her intoxicating aroma. The movement of her fingers on the back of her neck. Alison’s touch was like a cure to everything that was wrong with her.

“You okay?” Alison seemed to sense that she was calmer now.

“Yeah. It’s over.” Emily’s hand fell away from Alison’s wrist and slid down her forearm. Alison’s hand still remained on her face, Emily’s cheek hot beneath her palm.

“At least you remembered to breathe this time.” Alison slid her other hand out from behind Emily’s neck and raked her fingers through her thick locks of hair. “Do you need anything?” she asked, her thumb stroking Emily’s cheek.

“I don’t think so.” Emily shook her head, Alison’s hand following the motion. “I’m sorry I woke you up again.”

“I was already up.” She glanced at a stack of papers sitting on top of the sheets. Her hand slipped down the side of Emily’s neck, her fingers coming to rest behind her right ear. “I’ve got a different kind of nightmare keeping me awake. These kids and their run-on sentences are going to drive me insane.” She picked up a paper with her free hand. “And don’t even get me started on their total annihilation of the English language. I mean, this kid practically used no punctuation except to make a winky face out of a semi-colon and a parenthesis.”

“Well, it’s a good thing they have such a good teacher.” Emily laughed. Seeing her smile relieved Ali.

“I honestly don’t know how Ezra did it. Teenagers are ruthless little piranhas. Half of the kids in my class are smart-mouthed little tyrants and the other half are stoners. It’s like teaching a classroom full of mini-mes and mini-Jasons.” She barely stopped to take a breath as she continued her rant. “It’s probably karma for all those years I pulled every adult this side of Rosewood into my warpath. I’ve got this one kid, Addison. She’s a nightmare.” She grumbled. “She’s like I was, but _worse._ She can backtalk me while simultaneously texting at breakneck speed. At least when I was her age I looked up from my phone when I threatened adults. I’d never consider hitting a child, but…”

She paused and looked at Emily, who was watching her in amusement.

“What?” Ali asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You ramble when you’re nervous.” Emily teased her.

“Nervous? What could I possibly be nervous about?” She asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She huffed out a breath. “I feel like an anxiety ridden Chihuahua. I’m a total mess, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but you’re my mess and I love you.”

She reached up and curled her hand behind Alison’s neck and pulled her down to meet her lips. The kiss was slow, sensual. It was everything Alison loved about Emily. Alison sighed softly, parting her lips, giving Emily’s tongue access to her mouth. She felt Emily’s tongue lightly graze a sensitive spot she had on the ridges behind her teeth. It made her whole body shudder, and she automatically responded in kind. She leaned down, her chest delicately brushing up against Emily’s. Her free hand came to rest upon her right breast, making Emily moan into her mouth. Their mouths moved in synchronization.

Emily put her other arm around the back of Alison’s waist, pulling her closer. Her fingers slid up the side of Alison’s shirt and pressed against a ticklish spot Alison had right above her hip. She still knew every inch of Alison’s body. Alison squirmed and she felt Emily’s lips curl into a smile on top of hers.

“You’re still ticklish.” Emily chuckled.

Alison responded to her cocky attitude by biting down on Emily’s bottom lip. When Emily blew out a surprised breath Alison smiled back at her triumphantly. She pressed against Emily’s body, wanting to be as close to her as physically possible. She did her best not to let her full weight fall on top of Emily’s tender ribs. She slowly dipped her tongue in and out of Emily’s mouth, tasting the salty sweat on Emily’s lips. She could feel Emily’s breathing becoming more ragged, her lips quivering.

Alison loved that she could make Emily feel this way…that she could take her out of whatever dark depths that hid in the back of her mind that she wouldn’t let Alison see. She wanted to make her forget her pain, even if only for a little while. She hated herself for waiting so long to give in to her love. She’d hated the five years that Emily was gone. She hated that she hadn’t been able to see what she had right in front of her when they were in high school. No one had ever loved her the way Emily did, nor quite as much.

Alison was still floored by the fact that Emily cared so much about her that she was willing to put aside everything she was dealing with in order to be there for her after Charlotte died, especially given all Charlotte had done to them. She tensed up as she thought about her sister. Her relationship with her had been complicated. When everyone else saw a monster, Alison saw a person damaged by her toxic family. She didn’t condone Charlotte’s actions, but she understood what drove her to the point of insanity. It was the same thing that drove Alison to act out, and the same thing that drove Jason to his alcohol addiction. Their parents had practically driven all three of them to destruction.

Still, seeing the lasting effects of her sister’s torture was painful for Alison. She’d never quite seen the extent of the pain Charlotte had caused until she’d found Emily nearly catatonic a few nights ago. She was watching Emily go through hell, and deep down she knew that Charlotte was responsible for that. She hated knowing that her screwed up family, like an infection that spread, had hurt so many people, especially Emily. _Her_ Emily. The same Emily who had nearly broken her neck climbing a tree trying to return a baby bird to its nest when she was seven. The same Emily who had picked dandelions for Aria when they were eleven and Aria was sad about a fight she’d had with her brother. The same Emily who had taken a crying toddler by the hand to help him find his mom after he got lost in a store, buying him a balloon to calm him down while they looked. And the same Emily who had never given up hope that she’d one day be reunited with her lost love.

She felt Emily pull away.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Emily hadn’t missed the fact that Alison was getting lost in her head. Her lips lingered just centimeters away from Alison’s. Her index finger traced the outline of Alison’s jaw. “What’s on your mind?” She could tell something was bothering her.

“You.” Constantly. Always.

The tip of Alison’s nose brushed against Emily’s, neither one of them moved for a few seconds. They just looked at one another, each breathing in everything about the other. Alison had never felt more connected to anyone in her entire life. She stared into Emily’s eyes. Looking into her eyes, she could see everything. The love. The beauty. The pain. Emily was strong, yet vulnerable at the same time. Her eyes told Alison everything about Emily’s soul. And Emily’s eyes were looking back at her, burning with fervent affection.

Ali’s alarm went off, startling them both. Ali felt Emily’s body jerk beneath her. For a brief moment she saw a look of terror on Emily’s face.

Emily’s eyes darted towards the loud interruption. It reminded her all too much of being back in the dollhouse. She flashed to her nightmare. The alarms. The screaming. Waking up in that room. Being forced to play Charlotte’s sick games. The only difference between her nightmare and the real thing was the needle she’d gotten in the chest, though the stabbing sensation in her dream had felt very real to her. Emily sat up and rubbed the tips of her fingers across her eyes. Ali quickly rolled over and shut the alarm off, looking back at Emily apologetically.

“I wish that thing wasn’t so loud.” Ali frowned.

“That’s kind of their point.” Emily shrugged. She ran her fingers through her hair. “I should probably take a shower. I’m sure I look like crap.”

Ali pressed her lips together and glanced at her out of the corner of her eyes, her eyebrows knitting together like it was the dumbest thing Emily had ever said.

“Don’t be an idiot. You’re beautiful,” she insisted.

Emily felt blood rush to her cheeks. She smiled at Ali bashfully. She’d had the same dopey smile since she was a kid, and Ali loved it.

“Please.” Emily scoffed. “The bags under my eyes need their own airport luggage carousel.”

“Well, what did your doctor say?” Ali asked.

Emily hadn’t said much to Ali about her follow up visit to her cardiologist she’d had yesterday. She had barely heard anything the doctor said to her. She’d been preoccupied with _A_ , who had sent the girls a message that their time was running out. And to make matters worse, Tanner had called them in to question them about the missing security footage. She didn’t have any definitive proof that they had tampered with it, but she was grilling them pretty hard, trying to get them to crack. She’d also questioned Emily about the glove that had gone missing. Tanner kept looking at her like the cops knew something that Emily didn’t. It was a tactic she’d seen cops use over the years. Emily didn’t fall for it, but it still shook her up.

Emily’s appointment had been right after her interview with Tanner. She’d been jittery the entire time. She’d been so worked up that she’d almost skipped it. But then she realized Ali would kill her if she did. She’d asked the doctor about her nightmares, as she promised Ali she would. He told Emily there wasn’t anything he could prescribe, but that she always had the option of visiting someone in mental health services.

“They are limited on what they can give me. He said a lot of anti-anxiety meds are contraindicated for heart patients,” Emily explained.

“So they’re just going to let you suffer?” Ali bit back her anger.

“Ali, it’s not like that,” Emily replied softly.

“What about therapy?” Ali pushed. “I know you’re not comfortable with Elliott, but he might have the names of some doctors who might be able to help.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Emily said. “But I’ve been going to shrinks on and off since high school, and it’s always the same. They always ask me the same questions, tell me the same thing, and give me the same exercises. I’m already doing everything a therapist would tell me to do. I’ve been through this before.” Though, never to the extent that she was experiencing now. “It’s like an old injury. It flares up when it rains, but after a while it stops throbbing.”

“I hate this.” Ali grumbled, exasperated. Knowing the stress that Emily was under made her nervous. It was like they were both in purgatory. “I hate that I can’t help you.”

“You help more than you could possibly know.” Emily put her hand on top of Ali’s. Ali was the reason she was still breathing…still fighting for a future.

Ali looked down at Emily’s hand on top of hers. She placed her other hand on top of Emily’s and brushed her fingers over her knuckles. She saw goosebumps rise on Emily’s arm. Ali looked up at Emily, a tentative look on her face. Emily noticed it right away. It was the same expression Ali had when she was about to cry. Her eyes were soft and sad. Her nose was slightly crinkled. Her mouth was parted, her tongue pressing up against the back of her teeth. She rolled her tongue over her lips and then sighed.

“The dreams are about the dollhouse, aren’t they?” Ali asked.

Emily’s throat bobbed as she swallowed nervously.

“That’s why you won’t talk to me about them,” she said.

Emily peered at her, uncertain of how to answer…or even if she wanted to answer. When Emily didn’t reply, Ali pressed her lips together and took a heavy breath. She looked brokenhearted.

“You were crying out in your sleep,” she admitted. “You begged for her to leave the others alone and told her to come after you instead.” She shook her head with tears in her eyes. “I mean, I knew it was bad, but…God, Em, what did she do to you in there?” She flipped her hand over in Emily’s so their palms were touching and pushed her fingers through the breaks in Emily’s fingers, interlocking their hands.

“It doesn’t matter,” Emily said quietly.

She stared straight ahead, refusing to meet Ali’s gaze. She didn’t see the need to bring Ali unnecessary pain. Telling her about what Charlotte had done to her wasn’t going to change anything. It would just hurt her, and Emily was convinced she’d already hurt her enough with everything she’d put her through since she'd been back.

“It matters to me.” Ali’s fingers brushed against her delicate skin. “If you’re not talking about it because you can’t, I understand. But if you’re not telling me because you’re trying to protect my feelings, you don’t have to do that. Charlotte may have been my sister, but _you_ are my life. I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”

Emily felt Ali’s hand tighten around hers. She looked down at their linked fingers in thought. She could barely process how much was going through her mind. She felt Ali’s free hand gently nudge her chin and she looked up at her. Ali was begging her to say something. Emily didn’t know what to do. Talking to her would hurt her. But not talking to her would hurt her more.

“At least tell me you’re talking to someone,” Ali said. “Hanna, Aria, Spencer, Toby… _someone_.” She shook her head. “Because you can’t live like this, Emily.”

Emily didn’t disagree. She could barely live, period. She turned to look at Ali, but didn’t say anything. She wanted to talk to her. She just couldn’t find the right words. Ali, sensing that she wasn’t going to get anything out of her stubborn tight-lipped woman, sat up and kicked the covers off of her feet. She sighed and pushed the papers she was grading aside.

“I’m going to make some coffee before I get ready for school.” She swung her legs out and put her feet against the floor.

Emily reached out and wrapped her left hand around Ali’s arm, a gesture that made Ali immediately turn around to look at her.

“Sometimes the nightmares are memories of what happened.” She could barely look Ali in the eye. It was hard enough to talk about her experiences, let alone with her. “She’d play games with us. Make us think we were responsible for hurting one another.” She squirmed in discomfort. Ali took her hand again and squeezed it gently. “She drove us crazy with buzzers and loud noises.” She flinched, her eyes glassy with tears. “She’d drug us, make us see things. Sometimes we’d wake up locked in boxes or shrouded in some other form of darkness.” Emily felt her throat clenching up. She saw Ali’s eyes widen in horror, and for a split second Emily regretted saying anything. “Most of the time it was psychological.”

“ _Most_ of the time?” Ali’s voice was barely a whisper. “Did she…” Ali licked her lips. They felt swollen from the heated passion they’d just shared. “She hurt you?”

“It pissed her off when we didn’t listen.”

Emily couldn’t find it in her heart to tell Ali about the times Charlotte had electrocuted her or how she’d been restrained with ropes so tight that she’d ended up with rope burns. Sometimes Charlotte would subject her to extreme temperatures, too. Charlotte made sure never to let her get anything beyond first degree burns and she never let the frostbite do any major damage. She always left her hanging just long enough to make it hurt. Sometimes Emily could still feel the numbness she’d felt in her toes when Charlotte left her feet sitting in a bucket full of ice water for what felt like an eternity or the flames from candles licking at her fingertips burning her sensitive flesh just enough to make her hands sting.

“Wh – why wouldn’t you tell me this?” Ali stared at her, dumbfounded.

None of the public police reports had anything in them about the forms of torture Charlotte had used. She hadn’t realized how extreme it had been. She knew her sister had been capable of some horrible things. She’d tortured Ali, too. But nothing compared to what she had done to her friends inside that bunker.

“I couldn’t,” Emily said with a sigh. “None of us could talk about it, I mean, aside from telling the cops and Doctor Sullivan.”

“Jesus.” Ali sucked in a breath. “No wonder you can’t sleep. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t…I-I don’t…I’m just…I’m sorry.” She was at a loss for words. Part of her wanted to cry. The other part of her wanted to hug Emily and never let her go.

“Like I said, it’s just something I learned to deal with. It’s been a while since I’ve had nightmares this bad. It’s probably just me adjusting to being back here and dealing with…” She almost said _A_ , “…well, all of it.” She quickly caught herself. “I mean, nearly dying and all, it opened up something inside of me. My nightmares are darker. Even darker than the things Charlotte did to us. She’s still there. The dollhouse still exists, but there’s a new puppet-master. I can’t explain how I know it’s not her. It’s just this feeling I have. I don’t know if it’s a repressed memory or if it’s even real at all. There’s just a lot of stuff my brain is mixing up with those memories and it makes me feel kind of distorted.” Emily rubbed her left temple. “Ever since I woke up in the hospital I’ve felt split between two worlds, and even though I’m here…I feel like I’ve still got one foot in that other place. It’s like I brought something back with me and I can’t shake it loose.”

“Oh, Em…” Ali didn’t know what to say.

Ali couldn’t believe the amount of pain she’d had to live with through the years. Emily had been so good at hiding it. Then again, Ali felt like she should have seen it sooner. After all, she did the same thing. Ali was an expert at masking her pain, too. She just reacted differently. She acted out. Emily turned inwards.

Ali was overwhelmed with emotions. Her sister had done this to the girl she loved. But she’d loved her sister and was still grieving for her. Her emotions were confusing her and it made her angry. She felt torn between them, and she felt guilty for feeling torn. Had she done the wrong thing in making a place in her heart for her sister?

“This is my fault,” Ali said quietly.

“What?” Emily’s head suddenly jerked up, more alert than she’d been since she’d gotten up. “No, of course it isn’t!”

“You guys were tortured because of me. You came back for her hearing because of me. None of this would have happened if I had just stayed away from her.” She felt like everything she did ended up in shambles.

“She was your sister. I would never blame you or judge you for wanting to know her. Besides, if you hadn’t asked us to come back to Rosewood, you and I wouldn’t be where we are right now,” Emily touched her face with her fingertips. “Hell, I probably wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for the fact that we’d come back. If I had been at home in California when my heart stopped I wouldn’t have made it.”

Ali still looked pained. Emily’s revelation had started a flurry of activity in her head. Emily watched Ali’s face twist into a grimace. She felt a pit of regret in her stomach for not sugarcoating her feelings.

“I didn’t mean for you to take on my problems. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.” Emily couldn’t stand to see the pain hidden behind her beautiful blue eyes.

Ali didn’t miss a beat before replying,

“No. I’m glad you did.” She slid her free hand up Emily’s arm, bringing it to rest on the side of her neck. “Keeping things from each other has never worked out well for us.”

Emily glanced away nervously. She was screaming at herself to tell Ali about _A._ She hated herself for keeping it from her. She was also afraid of what would happen if she didn’t keep it from her.

“Yeah,” was all Emily could say in response.

“I know it hasn’t been easy for you. I can’t even imagine what you must feel like.” Ali’s head was still reeling just _hearing_ about her nightmares. “But you’re not alone anymore. Over the years you taught me all about being selfless. There is not one instance in my life that you weren’t there for me when I needed you. And I hope that you realize by now that I am going to do the same thing for you. I love you, and I’m here for you. If you ever feel yourself slipping I will be there to catch you. I promise you that I will always hold on to you, okay? No matter how far you think you have fallen, I will always be right here to keep you from disappearing completely.”

Emily smiled warmly. She knew Ali meant every word. She didn’t think it was possible to love Alison DiLaurentis more than she already did, but Ali was constantly finding new ways to make Emily fall harder and faster for her.

Ali’s alarm went off again, signaling that she needed to get moving if she planned on making it to school on time. She looked at the alarm in annoyance and then glanced back at Emily. Emily’s head was turned slightly towards the dresser. She was looking at the small figurine of the Eiffel Tower Ali had been holding on to since high school. She felt Ali shuffling beside her and turned back to face her. Ali looked at her phone and then looked back at Emily. Emily smiled weakly at her, certain that the bags under her eyes were making her look like a drunk raccoon.

“You know, I can stay home…” Ali reached for her phone, ready to call the school.

She hated the idea of leaving Emily alone, especially after she’d had such a rough morning. Hackett, her boss, had been very understanding about Ali’s current situation. First the death of Charlotte and then almost losing Emily. He had a list of substitute teachers on call.

“No. Don’t do that.” Emily frowned. “Someone needs to make sure those kids know their Edgar Allan Poe from their Ed Sheeran.”

“Both excellent writers in their own ways.” Ali smiled. Her smile wavered. “You sure you don’t want me to play hooky?”

“I’m sure.” Emily nodded. She glanced at the clock. “Although, maybe you can be a little tardy…” Emily smirked suggestively as her hands trailed up Ali’s shirt. She lightly traced her fingers over Ali’s stomach. She walked her index and middle finger up towards her chest. Ali leaned forward to kiss her, but her phone went off, yet again. This time it was an incoming call.

“Oh my God,” Ali grumbled in frustration. “I am going to run this thing over with my car.” She grabbed her phone. She glanced at the caller ID. Her face fell flat.

“Is it Tanner again?” Emily asked.

Tanner had been calling Ali a lot the past few days. She was extremely invested in trying to find that missing glove, calling it “a key piece of evidence” every time she spoke to her. And even though Ali insisted that she was certain that none of her friends had anything to do with it, Tanner was still suspicious.

“It’s not Tanner. It’s Jason.” The expression on Ali’s face was unreadable.

Ali looked at her, torn. She didn’t want to take the call if it meant not spending the rest of the morning with Emily. She didn’t want to walk away from her so soon after Emily had come out of another nightmare.

“Take it. You haven’t talked to your brother in months.” Emily suggested.

Ali glanced at the phone again, continuing to let it ring.

“Ali, if you don’t take it, I will.” She grabbed the phone from her hand. “I don’t know what we’ll talk about, though. Maybe I can ask him if you are ticklish anywhere else.” She rubbed her fingers over Ali’s ribcage, another spot where Ali was ticklish.

“You’ll do no such thing.” Ali laughed and took her phone back. She answered. “Jason? Hey. What’s up?” She shot Emily a warm smile as if to say _are you happy now?_

Emily smiled back when she saw Ali’s face light up in delight at hearing her brother’s voice. Ali and Jason hadn’t had the best relationship when they were younger, but the two of them had gone through hell together and had come out stronger together. Ali “oohed” and “ahhhed” as Jason talked about his travels overseas. She drifted out of the room. Emily grabbed her phone and glanced at the text she’d gotten from Hanna last night asking her to call her when she got a chance. She knew Hanna was up for work, so she hit the speed dial and tapped her finger against the picture she’d set as Hanna’s contact photo of the two of them goofing off at the beach a few summers back. Hanna picked up on the third ring.

“Hey…” Her voice sounded muffled.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Maybe she’d been wrong about Hanna being up.

“No. No. I’ve been up since five.”

“You sound weird. Is everything okay?” There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Hanna? What is it?”

“Caleb finally cracked the code to get into the TV system’s server,” she explained. “He got a hit on that footage you thought you saw on the TV.” There was a few seconds of silence before Hanna continued, “It wasn’t a dream, Em.” Hanna sighed. Emily was certain she could actually _hear_ Hanna flinching. “It happened. He found the video file.”

Emily felt her body go numb. She had been telling herself that she’d imagined the whole thing because it was easier than trying to wrap her head around what had really happened. She knew she should have been prepared for this possibility, but she wasn’t.

“It was real?” she squeaked.

“And there was more.” Hanna added hesitantly.

“What?” Emily’s voice caught in her throat.

“There was more to that video than you saw. It had another good fifteen minutes of footage.”

“What was on it?” Emily tried to control her breathing so she wouldn’t pass out from shock.

“We couldn’t watch it,” Hanna said. “After we realized what it was we turned it off. But Caleb has a copy of it if you want it.”

She had no interest in seeing herself trapped in that dollhouse, but at the same time she needed to know what was on that video. Maybe there would be something on it that could get them one step closer to being free of _A_. The thought of reliving more of the horrors she’d experienced in the dollhouse made her nauseous.

“I don’t know if I can do it alone.” Emily admitted.

There was another long pause on the other end of the phone and then Hanna breathed a heavy breath into the receiver.

“I’ll call Spencer and Aria. If you really want to see it, there’s no way in hell we’re going to make you deal with it on your own.”

“Thanks, Han.”

They talked for a little bit longer before they said their goodbyes. After Emily hung up she stared at the screen of her phone, lost in thought. She felt an eerie sensation shoot up her spine and her entire body shuddered. A cold feeling of dread washed over her. If the attack in the living room had been real, what else had actually happened that she’d chalked up to her nightmares? Suddenly, she was starting to see everything that had happened to her since she’d been back with a new pair of eyes, and it shook her to her core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally every time I write any romantic scene or intimate scene my inner critics are like, "You are garbage. This writing is trash. You bring shame to the family." So, basically, what I'm trying to say here is...be nice. I'm probably my own worst critic.


	22. Unlocked

Emily waited until Ali left and then stared at the phone number she’d gotten from Hanna. Despite the fact that she was trying to process the fact that at least one of her nightmares had been real she’d still had the presence of mind to ask Hanna for Mona’s contact information. After finding out that someone had really come after her in Ali’s living room, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Sara visiting her in the hospital. She’d assumed she’d dreamed it because of the cocktail of drugs she was on, but now she wasn’t so sure. She knew Mona might know Sara’s whereabouts on that day. Something Sara had said to her had stuck with her. It was like a song on repeat that she couldn’t get out of her head.

_“You have no idea who you’re up against.”_

Did that mean Sara _did_ know? Or was it all just a game to her?

Emily dialed Mona’s number, expecting to get her voicemail. She was surprised when she picked up.

“Hello, Emily.”

“How’d you know it was me?” She felt stupid the second she asked the question. How did Mona know anything?

“Please, I’ve been hacking your phones since we were in Brownies together. The second you came crashing in to James’s motel room like Rosewood’s own Avengers I pinged your phones. I can’t exactly help you if I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing.” Mona answered in a nonchalant manner. “The bigger question is how you got _my_ number.”

“I have my ways.” Emily replied coolly.

“Hanna gave it to you, didn’t she?”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I know.” Her voice sounded chirpy.

There was a pause as Emily considered how to approach the favor she needed. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted Mona to know, though at this point she probably knew more than the girls did. Emily was glad that Mona was willing to help them, but she also hated that she was involved at all. The last time Mona had gone toe-to-toe with the devil she’d been kidnapped and held hostage. Emily hadn’t realized how much she had actually come to care about Mona until after they thought she’d been killed.

In a strange way, it had been a lot like when Alison disappeared. The girls had only been able to look past Ali’s indiscretions when they realized they would never see her again. The pain and the mistakes she’d made fell away over time, and they realized that despite her imperfections they still loved her. They didn’t care about her actions anymore. Like with the loss of any loved one, they just wanted one more day, one more hour, one more minute. They just missed her and wanted her back. It was the same with Mona. Emily remembered the way her stomach had churned when they’d walked into a bloodbath at Mona’s house. She remembered how hard she’d felt the blow when the police declared that Mona was dead. It was like everything Mona had done to them had fallen by the wayside.

Emily had no interest in reliving that feeling. She’d been through enough death to last a lifetime. She didn’t want to go to anymore funerals. She hated that was the first place her mind went to, but she couldn’t help but picture the worst case scenario. The more people that were involved in this, the more Emily worried.

Mona interrupted the silence,

“I doubt that you called to ask me how I’m doing or to invite me to brunch. What is it that you need?”

“You said you’ve been keeping tabs on Sara since she got back in town, right?”

“Down to the exact time she sits down with a newspaper in the bathroom to make her daily morning deposit.”

“Okay, gross.” Emily frowned, but she couldn’t help but laugh at how direct Mona was being. “I already know she’s a giant pile of crap on the outside. I don’t need to know the inner-workings of her body on top of that.”

“What do you want to know?” Mona asked.

“Can you find out if she went to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon?” Emily did her best trying to narrow the timing down. All the days had been running together, especially her time in the hospital. “Or maybe it was Monday.” She scrunched her brows in thought. “Could you just check to see if she went to the hospital earlier this week sometime?”

“Sure, though I can’t imagine she has any people in her life she cares enough to visit. If she was going there it was probably to kill someone and make it look like malpractice.” Mona snorted out sarcastically.

Emily took in a breath to respond, but then she closed her mouth and clenched her jaw, blowing the breath out through her nose.

“Oh.” Mona’s tone flickered in realization. “Were you…”

“I may or may not have died. Don’t make a big deal out of it,” Emily blurted out.

“Wait, hold on. Back up. You _died_? Like _died_ died?”

“I got better.” Emily shrugged.

“I thought you said it wasn’t serious!”

“Well, there wasn’t a funeral, so it wasn’t _that_ serious.” Emily spouted back. “It’s not like I’m the only one in this conversation that’s come back from the dead. At least I don’t have a cemetery plot with a grave filled with books and baby dolls.”

“I can’t believe you straight up lied to me…and I _bought_ it.” Mona sounded both upset and impressed.

“Fine. I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to send you a memo the next time I die, okay? We’ll just pretend this one was a dry run. So go ahead and get out all of your feelings.”

“My condolences,” Mona uttered caustically.

“Thanks.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Can you just check out what Sara has been up to, please?”

“Yeah. Of course,” she said, a trace of uneasiness in her voice. “Let me see what I can do. But in the meantime, watch yourself. Ever since you all outed James, we haven’t seen or heard anything from the dime-store hooker. I don’t know what exactly prompted her to drop off the radar, but I don’t like it. We’ll keep looking, and I’ll give you a call when I know something.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Emily tried to sound cool, but she was internally freaking out about Sara suddenly going dark.

They said their goodbyes and then Emily went to change before Aria came to pick her up. They were all going to the loft to see if the video Caleb had retrieved had anything they could use to figure out if the person tormenting them now had also been a part of tormenting them then.

Emily pulled on a pair of pants and reached up to grab a shirt off of a hanger. The sleeve was snagged on a box sitting on a shelf above the clothing rack. When she pulled the shirt out the box slid off of the shelf and fell to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Emily leaned down and started putting the things back into the box without really looking at them. It was mostly papers. There were some sketches and some handwritten phrases and sayings, all inspirational quotes in light bubbly letters. It looked a lot like Ali’s handwriting, but Emily knew that it wasn’t by a few subtle differences. Emily knew Ali’s penmanship by heart. This person didn’t loop her L’s or curl her M’s like Ali’s.

She carefully put everything back into the box. It was only when she found a picture frame underneath some of the papers that she realized who the stuff belonged to. The photo in the frame was of Ali and Charlotte, both smiling radiantly for the camera. Charlotte looked different than the person Emily had known back in high school. She seemed to have a lighter air about her. She looked genuinely happy. Emily looked at the photograph and then at the box of belongings. It was Charlotte’s stuff from Welby.

She mindlessly ran her fingers across the top of the frame, trying to understand how the smiling girl in the picture was the same girl who had nearly killed her and her friends. How could someone who looked so normal be hiding such a dark secret? Her finger hit a groove in the frame and she bit her lip, afraid that she might have broken one of Ali’s treasured memories of her sister. She glanced at the uneven spot on the frame, but it didn’t look broken. There was a perfectly rectangular piece with a hinge sticking out. When she moved the frame closer for a better look she heard something rattling inside. She turned it sideways and a small key fell into her hands.

She saw a flash of the game Charlotte made her play with the keys and the locks. Her hands jerked in response. She dropped the key on the floor. After a few seconds she picked it back up to inspect it. Charlotte had gone to a lot of trouble to keep this key hidden. But why?

She heard the doorbell ring. Seconds later the front door opened.

“Em? You ready?” She heard Aria call out to her.

“Just a second!” She put the picture back into the box and then put the box up.

She stared at the key for a moment. Her hands were shaking because of the resemblance it had to the keys she’d been forced to play games with in the dollhouse. She took a calming breath and shoved the key into her pocket. She quickly changed into her shirt and then met Aria downstairs so they could head out. Emily felt the key burning a hole through her pocket the entire way over to the loft. She couldn’t stop thinking about what it might unlock.

Emily barely remembered the drive over or going in and sitting down. At some point someone had given her some hot tea, which she only realized because she was tapping her fingers against the cup. Her friends were talking to her and she was answering, but she wasn’t really sure what she was actually saying. She stared at the computer sitting on the table in front of her. Aria and Hanna were sitting next to her and Spencer was standing behind them.

Aria looked at Hanna and then at Emily. They had both noticed she hadn’t said much. She was clearly still struggling with her nightmares, and they knew that watching this video was only going to make things worse for her.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Aria asked, placing her hand on top of Emily’s.

“I don’t think I have a choice. If someone else was with Charlotte and Sara in the dollhouse there may be something on this video that could lead us to them.” Emily ground her teeth together. She didn’t want to watch this any more than they did.

“But the police have combed through all of the footage and they never said anything about suspecting another person being involved,” Spencer said.

“They didn’t have this footage. I know every second of what they archived because I know every second of what Charlotte put me through down there.” She winced in discomfort. “I guarantee that the cops have never seen this, and I’m betting it’s because there’s something on it that Charlotte and her minions didn’t want them to see.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be the one to watch it.” Hanna gently put her palm on Emily’s knee. “We can turn it over to the cops.”

“Yeah, because that’s worked out so well for us in the past.” Emily felt heat rush to her face when she thought of what Tanner would say about this. The snotty Tanner voice in her head gave her a preview on how it would go if they gave the video to her,

_“So, you’re bringing me new evidence on a case that was closed over five years ago less than two weeks after your kidnapper was murdered. I find that awfully convenient. Don’t you?”_

There was no way the cops were going to be on their side with Tanner in charge. The woman had never even apologized for not believing them when they told her they were being stalked or for wrongfully throwing them in jail. The cops in Rosewood never seemed to apologize for anything they did, no matter how stupid or inept it was. The only decent cops in the town were Toby, Lorenzo, and Officer Maple.

Emily looked at her friends. Spencer was fidgeting with a loose thread on the back of the couch. Aria was nervously bouncing her knee. Hanna kept glancing at her phone.

“You don’t have to stay. I understand if you can’t.” Emily didn’t want them to feel obligated to sit through this with her, even though she knew they would.

“We’re not going anywhere.” Hanna squeezed her knee.

“Yeah, it’s what we do.” Spencer agreed with Hanna. “Most girls have movie nights that consist of margaritas and a film about drunken bachelorette parties in Vegas. We have coffee and torture.”

Aria shot Spencer a warning look to let her know she was being a little too blunt, but Emily just laughed darkly and added,

“Did anyone remember to bring the popcorn and candy?”

Spencer huffed out a surprised laugh. Aria and Hanna couldn’t help but chuckle. As much crap as they had been through together they had learned to embrace their twisted sense of humor.

“Let’s get this over with.” Emily took a breath and leaned forward.

She clicked on the video file. It started out with the footage of the dollhouse she had seen in Ali’s living room. This time, no message flashed across the screen. It just kept rolling. The image on the screen was of Emily propped up against a wall in a dark room. They could see the outline of her figure with the night-vision on the camera. Her head lolled to the side and then she lifted it up. She ran her fingers together, feeling a sticky gelatinous substance on them. Someone else walked into the room with her and the lights flickered. With the lights on the girls could see that Emily’s hands and clothing were covered in blood. The person in the room with her took a step forward, their back towards the camera. As she was watching, Emily felt chills roll up her spine. She knew exactly who was standing in front of her in that room.

She remembered.

“Who the hell is that?” Spencer leaned forward, her fingers gripping the back of the couch.

On screen, her eyes widened. Emily shifted on the couch. Everything about that day was coming back to her. She curled her fingers into her palm and squeezed her fists so tight that her knuckles turned white.

“Em?” Aria asked in alarm. “Do we need to stop it?” She reached for the computer, but Emily shook her head and lightly pushed her hand away.

“No.” Emily couldn’t pry her eyes away from the screen. She had seen that face so many times since that night.

“What’s going on? Who is it?” Hanna asked.

“Nate.” Emily almost choked on his name.

As soon as she said it, the person standing on camera turned to the left, giving the girls a profile of the man who had killed Emily’s girlfriend and had tried to kill her. His muscles were bulging underneath his sleek clothing. His face wasn’t crystal clear in the video, but Emily remembered seeing the face of the man she killed. The girls gasped. There was no way the person standing there could have been Charlotte or Sara in disguise.

“Oh my God. There _is_ another one.” Aria whimpered.

“How did the cops miss this?” Hanna’s jaw dropped.

“How did _we_ miss this?” Aria crossed and uncrossed her legs. She squirmed uncomfortably.

Emily stayed quiet, staring at the person standing in front of her on the video. She unclenched her fists and brought a hand up to her mouth as she watched it unfold on screen.

“I thought I hallucinated this,” Emily said quietly.

She felt Spencer’s hand on her shoulder. Aria’s hand was on her wrist. Hanna grabbed her arm and leaned in to her.

They watched Nate walk over to her on screen, moving in just the right manner so that they could see that his shirt was ripped and covered in blood. He stared at Emily with a look that burned through her soul. It was a look that said “you killed me”. His face had been haunting her dreams since she’d stabbed him in self-defense in the lighthouse. She’d done what she had to do to survive, but it still bothered her. Taking someone’s life wasn’t just something you forgot.

“You’re not real.” The Emily on screen uttered weakly. Her back was pressed against the wall. She didn’t move.

Nate bent down to face her and yanked her to her feet. His gloved hands wrapped tightly around Emily’s wrists. He slammed her back against the wall and she let out a quiet cry, too shocked to pull away from him. They struggled for a few minutes, swirling around so the camera perfectly captured his image. It was Nate, but they knew it couldn’t really be him because he was dead. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to make a mask in his image.

Emily fought back in the video just like she’d fought back in the lighthouse. After a few minutes the lights went off and a smoky haze filled the room. Someone walked into the room wearing a gas mask. The person walked over to Nate and Emily and gave Nate a gas mask, too. He let go of Emily and she fell to the floor, paralyzed by the chemicals pumping into the room. The second person bent down next to Emily as she closed her eyes. After a few seconds, the person stood back up.

“Is that Charlotte?” Spencer asked.

“Charlotte wasn't that tall.” Emily shook her head, somewhat in a daze.

“Then that has to be Sara.” Hanna squeezed the tips of her fingers nervously.

Seconds later, the audio confirmed it.

“These bitches are tough.” Sara’s voice was muffled from beneath the gas mask, but they could tell that it was her.

Emily felt Aria jump at the sound of Sara’s voice. She shot her a sympathetic glance. The next few minutes was just footage of Sara and fake-Nate waiting for the air filtration system to suck all of the gas out of the room. Once the air was clear, the lights came back on, showing that Emily was slumped against the ground, completely unconscious. Sara took her mask off and looked down at Emily. Then she faced the man again.

“Who’s next?” Sara asked. “How about the Brainiac? She loves it when we outsmart the Brainiac.”

The man pulled his gas mask off, nearly pulling off the mask on his face with it. He straightened the mask and faced the camera. His eyes even had the same sadistic look in them that Nate’s had the night he’d tried to kill Emily.

“No, I don’t think she’s quite done with her.” The voice was light and airy with a slight European accent. French, maybe? “Get the tanks ready.”

Sara looked at him in confusion.

“Don’t you think she’s had enough for today, Xan?”

The man grabbed Sara roughly and shoved her against the wall.

“NEVER call me that, do you understand?”

Sara just nodded in response.

“Prepare the tanks. And grab the one who tried to bite me through her hood yesterday.” He let Sara go and then kneeled next to Emily.

The footage suddenly cut to a different room. There were two identical clear tanks in the middle of the room. Hanna was in one and Emily was in the other.

“I remember this.” Hanna gasped and grabbed Emily’s hand, her voice trembling.

Emily remembered it, too. She had woken up in that box, her hands and feet restrained. She had looked over and had seen Hanna in a similar situation. Their eyes had met, a mixture of relief and fear. Seeing one another always comforted them, but it also frightened them because they knew that Charlotte only ever brought them together in order for them to watch each other get tortured.

“You tried to bite our kidnappers?” Spencer asked Hanna, impressed.

“Went full on _Cujo_ on them.” Hanna nodded.

“Wow.” Aria’s eyes flickered in surprise. “Good for you, Han.”

On the video, a computerized voice chirped at Hanna and Emily telling them that if they wanted their friends to get water and oxygen so they could survive the day that they had to play the game. A buzzer went off and the tank Hanna was in started to fill up with dirt. Emily tried to yell out to her, but the boxes were soundproof. Hanna had yelled and squirmed around as the dirt poured in. Seconds later, Emily’s box started to fill up with freezing cold water. She remembered the stabbing sensation she’d felt against her skin as her body temperature dropped. By the time the water was over her head she couldn’t feel her hands and feet anymore. She’d looked over at Hanna, but all she could see of her underneath the dirt was her nose pointing towards the small pocket of air left inside her tank.

Aria and Spencer watched in shock. By the time the video of the torture session was over all four of them were shaking. Hanna was holding Emily’s hand so tight that Emily’s fingers were starting to go numb. No one spoke. No one knew what to say.

Then the video cut to an empty room. A figure was striding across the room. The person had a different gait than fake-Nate and Sara.

Charlotte.

She stopped at the corner of the room where a cement panel ran up the length of the wall. The person peeled a small brick aside and pulled out a set of keys.

Emily leaned forward to get a closer look. She couldn’t see what the key looked like, but her instincts were screaming at her that it was the same one she’d found in Charlotte’s things. Suddenly, she heard the words that had been hastily whispered to her right after she’d seen the footage of her on Ali’s TV.

_“Go back before it’s too late.”_

Charlotte inserted the key in a slot and opened a small safe in the wall. Something inside of Emily clicked.

“That’s it.” Emily hit the pause button.

Aria, Hanna, and Spencer were all still processing what they’d just seen, so it took a beat for someone to respond. Spencer was the first one who came out of shock.

“What?” She blinked a few times, like she’d just dreamed the whole thing.

“The person who came after me at Ali’s said I needed to go back.” She studied the screen, trying to remember where the room was.

“Where? To the dollhouse?” Hanna asked, nearly choking on her words.

“No.” Aria shook her head vehemently. “Hell, no.”

“Emily, are you out of your mind? We just watched you and Hanna nearly suffocate to death. And you want to go back there?” Spencer exclaimed.

“It could lead us to _A_.” Emily reached into her pocket and pulled out the key. “I found this in Charlotte’s things from Welby. She’d stashed it in a hidden compartment in a picture frame. If I’m right, this key is to something really important.”

“Or it’s to an old caboodle filled with Barbie accessories from when she was a kid,” Spencer said sarcastically. “How could you possibly know what that key goes to?”

“Charlotte had me play a lot of games with keys.” Emily’s jaw tightened at the thought of it. “This video proves that Charlotte was working with a third person. That’s something that not even the cops figured out. She hid things well. All of the secrets she wanted to stay buried are still at that dollhouse. The cops just didn’t know where to look. We do.”

“It could be a trap.” Spencer frowned.

“It could be.” Emily didn’t argue. “But I can’t just sit around and do nothing. I don’t want to wait for this person to attack again. I am sick of jumping every time my phone rings and worrying about Ali every time she walks out the door. This person is not going to stop until we hand them Charlotte’s killer on a silver platter. And we are no closer to finding out who killed her. At this point, we need to turn our focus towards _A_. If we can nail down who that is then we can just let the cops sort it all out.”

“You are going to get yourself killed.” Spencer rubbed her forehead.

“Been there, done that.” Emily shrugged.

“Okay, slow down La Femme Nikita.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “Have you forgotten about that ticking time bomb in your chest?”

“Subtle, Hanna. Nice.” Aria shook her head with a frown.

“I’m just saying,” Hanna glanced at Aria and then looked back at Emily, “you can’t go rushing into this like you’re Superwoman. Not when Charlotte 2.0 is sitting on a ton of kryptonite.”

“I don’t know what shocks me more. The lack of sensitivity, the accurate metaphor, or the fact that you even know what kryptonite is.” Spencer gawked at Hanna.

“Lucas has a bunch of those little cartoon books in the bathroom,” Hanna explained.

“They’re actually called graphic novels.” Aria corrected Hanna.

“Whatever.” Hanna shrugged.

“Despite her…poor choice of words,” Spencer said, glaring at Hanna. “Hanna’s right.”

“I love it when you say that.” Hanna beamed with pride.

“We can’t go in there all half-cocked with no plan just because we have some flimsy evidence and an axe to grind.” Spencer had a look on her face that Emily couldn’t quite figure out.

“That’s _literally_ what we always do,” Emily said. “The sooner we can solve this, the sooner we can move on.”

“And what happens when _A_ shows up in Ali’s living room with a 9 millimeter instead of a rag of chloroform?”

“That’s not going to happen,” Emily said, annoyed that Spencer, the person she needed to be the Maverick to her Goose, was freaking out.

“Why not? It happened once.” Spencer grumbled in frustration.

“Spencer, calm down.” Aria reached out to Spencer to try and comfort her.

“No! This is insane.” She threw her hands up in the air.

“We can end this. We just need to…”

“No!” Spencer yelled at Emily again, this time in a much firmer tone.

Emily was surprised that Spencer was the one offering the most resistance. She would have thought she’d be the first one on board. Aria and Hanna watched them bicker back and forth for several minutes, neither one of them wanting to get in between their fight. At one point Hanna looked at Aria and whispered,

“Do we need to get a hose and separate them?”

Aria had just shrugged and watched Spencer and Emily tell each other why they thought the other was being idiotic.

“Why are you fighting me so hard on this?” Emily questioned.

“Because you’re already dying, Emily!” Spencer finally blew her top, tears in her eyes. “And I’m not going to let you kill yourself faster.”

Aria and Hanna glanced at one another, surprised at Spencer’s sudden outburst of emotions. Emily wasn’t sure how to respond, either. Spencer paced across the loft in a huff. Emily got up and walked over to her. Spencer rubbed her thumbs underneath her eyes to catch her tears before they fell down her cheeks.

“What I have isn’t a death sentence, Spence,” she reached out to touch Spencer’s arm. “You know that, right?”

“I know the odds.” She cut her eyes at Emily, but kept her tone soft so the others couldn’t hear her. Of course she knew the odds. Spencer knew everything.

“So? In our lives the odds mean nothing.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you believe that.” Spencer glanced at her skeptically.

“Spencer.” Emily softly grabbed her arms to get her attention. She looked directly into her very worried eyes. “You are spinning out. I’m not going to die. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any time soon. I fall, I get back up. That’s the way my life works. I haven’t let it get me down in the past. And I’m damn sure not going to let this take away my happy ending.”

“You still think we’re going to get happy endings?” Spencer looked at her with admiration. How could someone go through so much and still believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel?

“I found my way back to Ali. You found your way back to Toby. At the very least, the universe owes us a double date.”

Finally, a hint of a smile formed on Spencer’s face.

“That would be more like a babysitting gig. I’d spend half the night trying to keep Toby from throwing crayons at Ali’s head while you scold Ali for kicking Toby underneath the table.”

“Her heels leave bruises.” Emily glanced off to the side in thought.

“How do you know that?” Spencer raised her brow in suspicion.

“Oh….ummm…” Emily’s face flushed.

She wasn’t about to tell Spencer that Ali’s heels had left bruises above her hips a time or two back when they got a little crazy in love in high school. Spencer read the look on her face and let out a loud boisterous laugh.

“Guys?” Aria called out to them nervously.

“We should probably put on a happy face for the children, dear.” Spencer whispered with a smile.

Emily stifled a laugh. After everyone calmed down they made the decision that they would go back to the dollhouse, but with back-up. Spencer agreed to tell Toby what they had found. Hanna was also going to tell Caleb their plans. Aria was on the fence about telling Ezra everything. He was still dealing with Nicole’s death. After some deliberation, she decided that she’d be more comfortable if he knew. She knew that he would help if he could. If they were going back they weren’t going without protection. Going back was going to be tough, but there was strength in numbers. Emily was struggling with whether or not to tell Ali. She’d almost slipped up and told her about _A_ this morning.

“I don’t know if I can keep it from her much longer,” Emily admitted. She sighed. “I’m a bad girlfriend.”

“You’re trying to protect her from a psychopath. If anything, I’d say you’re a hell of a girlfriend to have. She’s lucky to have you in her corner. In fact, you wanna be _my_ girlfriend?” Aria tried to make her feel better.

Emily laughed. Spencer’s phone buzzed. She looked at it and groaned.

“Is it _A_?” Hanna asked.

“Worse. It’s my boss.” She quickly answered.

“Speaking of, I’ve got some work I’ve got to get done this morning.” Aria glanced at her watch. “Em, you want a ride back to Ali’s?”

“Uh, no.” Emily glanced at her phone. “I’m going to head to the school. I told Ali I’d meet her for lunch.”

“I’m going in that direction. I’ll drop you off.” Hanna offered.

“I just need you to take me as far as Bistro Café. After I pick up our lunch I can walk from there,” Emily said.

Emily couldn’t get out of the loft fast enough. She needed to get some air. Her thoughts were swirling around in her head like an oceanic whirlpool. She was being pulled every which way and being slammed against the current, but she knew that if she fought against the riptide she’d be pulled under. So instead of struggling, she was just going along for the ride.

She knew they were so close to putting an end to the _A_ mess. She could feel it. But the ride to get there was taking its toll. She knew Ali needed to know about what was going on, especially if Sara Harvey was out there stalking them. She just had to figure out a way to tell Ali without _A_ or Sara Harvey or anyone else finding out. There was so much at stake. And when they did finally figure it out, then what? Would they be safe? Would Ali be safe? That’s all Emily wanted: a life for everyone she loved free of pain, danger, and turmoil.

“Is Spencer going to be okay?” Hanna asked as she pulled into the parking lot of the sandwich shop.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “Yeah. I think so.”

That was something else on her mind. Her friends were still dealing with the aftermath of Emily’s cardiac arrest. Out of all the terrifying stuff that they had been through in their lives, Emily’s heart stopping was the worst thing that had ever happened to them. Spencer’s outburst had reminded her of that this morning. Emily hated to think about the fact that she’d hurt them more than _A_ ever had.

“She seemed pretty worked up.” Hanna frowned.

“She was over-thinking while over-caffeinated. You know that’s a dangerous combination for her.”

“I guess.” She sounded like she didn’t believe her.

“How are you doing?” Emily asked tentatively.

Hanna considered the question for a few seconds. Seeing herself back in the dollhouse hadn’t been easy for her.

“I don’t know. It’s just all really intense, you know? I keep asking myself how we ended up here.” She let out a harsh laugh. “You remember when the most complicated thing in our lives was just trying to figure out if our dead best friend was writing us messages on our mirrors in lipstick?”

“Han, if I had known what was on that video…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Hanna held her hand up to stop Emily. “I’d still be thinking about it.” She looked over at Emily. “Let’s face it. We’re always thinking about it, even when we’re not. It’s always there…deep down, like a hand reaching out to grab you in the dark when you least expect it.”

Emily nodded, ever so slightly.

“You know what I was thinking the whole time I was in that tank?” Hanna tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. “I thought ‘this must be what Ali felt like that night in her grave’ and then I thought about how messed up that was. How messed up is it that we can go through something that horrible and be able to wonder if our friends felt the same way we did when it happened to them?”

Hanna sounded so hurt, and it crushed Emily.

“Maybe we shouldn’t go back to the dollhouse.” Emily hated seeing Hanna so upset. “Spencer’s right. It’s a bad idea.”

“Like I’m dumb enough to fall for that?” Hanna scoffed. “You’ll just convince us not to go and then go on your own.” The look on Emily’s face told Hanna everything she needed to know. “Don’t do anything stupid, Em.”

“I won’t. You know me.”

“Yeah. That’s precisely why I’m worried.”

“Believe me, the last thing I want to do is go back to that place alone.” Emily shuddered. “Or at all,” she added. “But if it can put an end to this, it’s worth looking in to.”

“I know.” Hanna nodded in agreement.

Emily’s phone beeped. It was Ali checking in.

“I better get going. The food isn’t going to walk itself to the school.” She unbuckled her belt.

“You’re not going to tell Ali about _A_ in the halls of our old high school, are you?” Hanna grimaced.

“No, Hanna. I’m not going to turn her English class into a Drama stage. Give me some credit.” Emily shook her head with a smile.

“Well, if you do decide to tell her, be sure to have an ambulance on standby, because when she finds out she’s going to choke the life out of you,” Hanna muttered out a laugh.

Hanna was right about that. Ali was sure to erupt like a volcano the instant she found out that Emily was keeping the fact that her sister’s partners were threatening their lives. After she picked up the food she walked towards Rosewood High’s campus, trying to shake off her nerves from seeing that video. Emily’s phone rang, drawing her out of her thoughts. She glanced at the caller ID. It was Mona.

“Hey, that was fast.” Emily answered.

“Aw, I see you’ve saved my number. I feel so special.”

“Yeah, don’t let it go to your head. I’ve got the delivery guy from _Maggiano’s_ on speed dial, so…” She trailed off with a laugh.

She expected Mona to laugh as well, but she just heard an awkward silence on the other end of the phone.

“What did you find out?” Emily’s throat tightened up.

“Well, I got the deets on the demented drugstore dye-job pixie,” Mona said. “James and I looked into her itinerary. It looks like she did stop by the hospital around the same time you were there.”

“Great.” Emily muttered. “There’s no telling what poison she pumped into my IV when she was there.” Her body seized into a ball of tension. For all she knew, Sara injected her with a brain sucking parasite that would slowly kill her.

“James thought she was going for a follow up for some hand specialist visit. If I had known you were in the hospital I would have told someone. I had no reason to suspect any of you were in any danger. I didn’t know about your heart.”

There was a time that Mona had known their every move. Emily never thought she’d miss that Mona.

“It’s fine.” Emily shrugged. “Up until I landed in the hospital no one knew.” She unconsciously started chewing her lip. “Doesn’t matter how good you are at keeping a secret if your body doesn’t cooperate.”

“Yeah, unfortunately, Sara apparently knew all about it. And if she knows…”

“You don’t have to paint me the picture. I get it. I’m screwed.” Emily blew out a breath of cool air. “Mind telling me exactly how screwed I am?”

“In a word? FUBAR.” A term Emily hadn’t heard since her dad passed away. It was his favorite way to describe something when it looked really bad. “After I found out about Sara’s little impromptu visit to your hospital room I decided to dig a little deeper in her medical files. Turns out that she hasn’t been to surgeon or a burn unit since high school. I don’t think her hands are as incapacitated as she wants people to believe.”

“You think she’s faking?” Emily asked.

Her heart lurched in her chest. Sara was dangerous enough with a handicap. If she was at full capacity they were all basically sitting ducks.

“Not entirely, but I don’t think she’s the helpless little victim she wants people to believe she is.”

“This is just shaping up to be an excellent day.” Emily grumbled bitterly. She rounded the corner. She was almost at the school. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ve got to run.”

“Emily, wait,” Mona said. “There’s more. You should know that she’s had an unhealthy obsession with Ali for a few weeks. She’s been tracking her, investigating her, and looming around waiting like she’s expecting something to happen. I don’t think she wants to hurt her. I think she’s watching her.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she thinks Ali had something to do with what happened to Charlotte? She seems pretty determined to piece together what happened that night.”

“Yeah, aren’t we all?”

“I’ll keep digging, but tread carefully. Sara is still AWOL. James says he isn’t worried, but I don’t like the idea of a free range Sara Harvey running around town. Idle hands are the devil’s play thing, and that bitch is most certainly from hell. We’re going to keep looking. Just be on the lookout.”

“Yeah, thanks, Mona.”

They said their goodbyes. Emily heard someone walking up behind her.

“Why was Mona calling you?” She heard Ali’s voice and nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Oh, Ali. Hey. I didn’t see you there.” She hadn’t been expecting her class to let out for another five minutes, but the courtyard was starting to flood with teenagers.

“I told you that we have an early release day today. The classes are shorter.” Ali had a peculiar look on her face.

“Right.” Emily nodded.

It took all the self-control she had not to whisk Ali away to safety right then and there. If it were up to her she would put Ali inside a protective bubble until they solved the mystery of _A_ and Sara Harvey. She looked around the sea of students expecting to see a flicker of ash-blonde hair bobbing through the crowd. It made her uneasy knowing that Sara had suddenly disappeared. They still didn’t know what her angle was.

“So what did Mona want?” Ali asked again.

“Oh, she stayed in town after the hearing to help Spencer and Mrs. Hastings with the campaign.” She smiled nervously and handed Ali the bag with her sandwich. “She’s just doing her civic duty working her way through the constituents.”

“You’re not registered in Rosewood anymore,” she said as they walked towards a bench to sit down.

“No…” And she was right back to the spinning wheel of lies again. She hated it. “...but my mom is. You know how lobbying is. Get the voters any way you can.”

Ali stared at Emily for a few seconds, her eyes narrowed in thought, like she was analyzing what Emily had just said. After a minute, her brows relaxed.

“I actually ran into your mom at _The Brew_ this morning before school.”

“Oh?” Emily hadn’t talked to her mother much lately.

She knew that her mom was ready to talk more about what had happened at Pepperdine. That would just lead to Emily telling her about blowing through her inheritance, which in turn would lead her to telling her about her health. So she’d been vague when she talked to her on the phone. She didn’t want to seem distant, just busy. She felt bad. She’d vowed to spend more time with her mother since she was back in Rosewood. But she was afraid the next time she looked her in the eyes she would completely break down, and she’d never be able to stop crying.

It was easy enough to keep up a façade on the phone. She steered the conversation towards things she was comfortable talking about. She’d told her that Hanna and Caleb’s upcoming nuptials had stirred up her old feelings for Alison, and that the two of them were trying to rekindle everything they had missed the five years Emily had been away. To Emily’s surprise, Pam hadn’t batted an eye when Emily told her she was staying with Ali. Her mother, who had once considered it a sin for one woman to even look at another woman in a lustful manner was telling Emily to treasure every moment she had with her girlfriend.

“She asked about you,” Ali said nervously.

“Ali, you didn’t say anything about…” Emily felt her heart speed up in her chest.

“Of course not.” Ali frowned. “But she knows something is up. I can’t keep lying to her, Em. It’s like…lying to Mother Teresa or something.” She shuffled uncomfortably. “She deserves to know.” She sat down on the bench.

“I know that.” Emily looked away sadly. “There’s just so much going on right now. I’ve barely been able to stop and think about it.” She took her place next to Ali.

That was another lie. It’s all Emily thought about. She’d been trying to figure out a way to tell her mom the truth ever since she’d found out.

“Which is precisely why I think you should tell her tonight.” Ali reached out and put her hand on top of Emily’s hand.

“Tonight?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, she invited us over for dinner, remember?” Ali asked in surprise.

“That’s tonight?” Emily had really lost track of the days. She ran her fingers over her lips. “I completely forgot.”

“That’s not like you.” Ali looked at her, perplexed. Emily had always been a planner, just like her mother. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” The inflection in Emily’s voice almost gave her away. She cleared her throat. “I just don’t know if tonight is the best night for a Q & A with my mom.”

“You can’t keep avoiding her.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Really? You could have fooled me.” Ali challenged her. She sighed. “Look, I get it. I’m the queen of running away from my problems.” She reminded her. “But all that running did nothing except cause the people I love pain.”

“She’s going to hurt either way, Ali. Telling her is not going to change anything. If she knows, all she’s going to do is agonize over losing me. My father’s death destroyed her. Putting this on her just doesn’t feel right.”

“And what do you think it’s going to do to her if you suddenly drop dead? What am I supposed to tell her if your heart stops again?” Ali’s tone was firm, but it had an anxious edge in it. “Emily, you can not protect her from this.”

Emily let out a frustrated breath, waiting for Ali to keep dogging her. Instead, Ali just looked at her with pleading eyes.

“Why is this so important to you?” Emily asked curiously.

“I – I just…” Ali seemed caught off-guard by the question, “…I don’t know.” She mulled it over in thought for a few seconds. “I guess it’s because I know how she feels.” She pressed her lips together. “When you first got back you kept me at arm’s length, too. I could tell something was bothering you. At first I thought it was just everything with Charlotte’s hearing and then...her death. I was too wrapped up in my own crap to realize you were dealing with your own. But deep down, I felt it. And I know your mom does, too. Probably even more-so than I did, because she’s your mom. Everything I felt that day outside the loft, losing you…I imagine your mother would have felt ten-fold.” She rubbed her hand over Emily’s hand. “Take it from someone who lived to see what her death did to her loved ones, it is better that people know what they’re in for.”

Emily was overcome with emotions. Ali’s love ran so deep that she not only loved Emily, but she loved Pam. Ali wanted what was best for everyone, and Emily loved her for it. The fact that she cared enough to speak up for her mother when her mother didn’t have a voice for herself meant the world to Emily. Without warning, Emily leaned forward and pushed her lips against Alison’s. One hand found its way to the side of Alison’s neck and the other crept up the side of Alison’s knee, her fingers dangerously close to pushing up the hem of her dress and continuing their ascent. In that moment, Emily forgot where she was. Ali didn’t. She dropped her hand and wedged her arm in between Emily’s hand and her leg.

“Careful.” She smiled against Emily’s lips, pulling back enough to look Emily in the eyes with a seductive, yet tense look. Her eyes wandered around the courtyard across the way where kids were lounging and socializing. They seemed oblivious, but Ali knew better. “We have an audience of very impressionable young minds watching. Best to keep it _PG_.”

“Like they haven’t seen it on cable TV already?” Emily teased, rolling her tongue over her lips with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“They haven’t seen the things I want to do to you that are running through my mind right now.”

She discreetly dug her fingers into Emily’s inner thigh. She quickly pulled back, worried that one of her students might catch them in the act. She put her hands at her sides and Emily followed suit. After a few seconds Emily put her hand on top of Ali’s hand again. They heard someone whistle from across the courtyard and they both jumped and then laughed in embarrassment.

A boy in a plaid shirt with dark wavy hair down to his shoulders had been the culprit. He was grinning from ear to ear, not even trying to hide that he’d been the one to whistle at them.

“One of yours?” Emily asked.

“Luke.” She nodded. “Good kid. Smart. A little bit of a class clown.”

She turned back to Emily with a bashful look on her face. She was smiling, her dimples making the rosy color in her cheeks very prominent in the sunlight. Emily just took in the beauty of her appearance. They managed to finish their lunch without jumping each other’s bones. When they finished Emily kissed her goodbye and then started to walk home. She was walking up the driveway when her phone alerted her to a new text message. She felt heat rushing to her body as she read it.

_“Somebody is hot for teacher. Tell Alison I said hello. Oh, wait, you can’t. I own you, bitch.”_

The fiery anger inside the pit of her stomach crept into her veins. She was fed up with this stupid game. She was done running on this sicko’s hamster wheel. She knew that the only way to beat this person at their own game was to pull out all the stops. She thought about Ali’s talk about honesty and she realized that honesty was their only weapon at this point. If they were honest with one another and they stuck together they would be fine.

“Screw you.” Emily growled into her phone.

She had a key in her pocket that could help them solve the case, but whoever was on the other end of the phone had unlocked something much more dangerous than anything that key opened. Whoever it was had just unleashed something in Emily that had been dormant for a long time. The rage that she’d suppressed and the raw determination to fight back were driving her harder than she’d ever felt before. Emily shoved her phone in her pocket. She’d made up her mind. She was going to tell Ali about _A_.


	23. Girl, Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Emison, Cute Emison, Sexy Emison, Comfort Emison. All in one chapter. You are welcome.

* * *

 

She wanted to tell Ali everything the second she got home from school, but she knew she needed to wait until after dinner. It was a strategic and somewhat selfish move, but the last thing Emily needed was for Ali to go into her mother’s house with heightened emotions. The evening with her mother was going to be stressful enough.

She tried to devise a plan for the best way to tell Ali about _A_. It’s not like she could just challenge her to a game of charades and make a fun game out of breaking the news to her. She wasn’t sure if she should just blurt it out, or if she should draw her a nice relaxing bath and bring her a glass of the finest wine she could find and then drop the _A_ -bomb when she was relaxed.

Emily smiled when she thought about how sexy Ali looked when she was happy and relaxed. There was something about her that was both cocky and shy at the same time. It drew Emily in. And every time Ali caught Emily looking at her with her soft soulful eyes Ali would get a crinkle above her left eye and she’d smile at her with an expression like she didn’t understand what Emily saw in her. Emily always felt her insides turning into mush when Ali gazed at her with such a genuine look of pleasure. When Ali smiled, Emily couldn’t help but stare at her alluring radiance. She loved seeing her happy. There was nothing better than Alison DiLaurentis smiling at her.

Ali had been so kind and so patient with her lately. Emily wanted to do something for her. She settled on the simplistic act of getting her flowers. It felt a little cliché, but it also felt right. It was perfect because Ali’s garden needed a little grooming. Emily spent her afternoon weeding the garden and picking some of the most beautiful flowers she could find. She lost herself in the beauty of nature.

She crafted several floral arrangements around the house, hoping the flowers would make Ali smile. She made a small bouquet and put it on the living room table and put several roses in vases in the kitchen and in the bedroom. She smiled as she arranged a bundle of flowers in a small vase next to Ali’s Eiffel Tower statue in their bedroom. She ran her fingers over the smooth figurine, remembering Ali’s dream to one day take a trip to Paris.

She heard the front door open and keys clanking as Ali tossed her car keys in the bowl next to the door.

“Emily?”

“Up here!” Emily called out to her.

She heard Ali walking up the stairs.

“Why does the house smell like a Yankee Candle store gave birth?” She walked into the bedroom. She smiled when she saw Emily. “What are you up to?”

“I just thought maybe I would spruce the place up a bit.”

“Did you prune the roses?” Ali laughed.

“I got bored.”

“But you don’t garden.” She looked at her in confusion. “You told me once that you killed a cactus.”

Emily had forgotten about that. She’d been around eight years old when she’d accidentally overwatered her neighbor’s cactus when she was house-sitting. She’d cried and called herself a murderer. Her dad had laughed at her overreaction and had given her his version of “The Circle of Life” speech from _The Lion King._ He’d basically ended his monologue by telling her that at least she’d kept the goldfish alive.

“When did you suddenly become Anne of Green Gables?” Ali asked.

“It’s the 21st century. You can learn anything from Google.” Emily walked over to Ali and slipped a daisy into her hair.

“Wow.” Ali smiled. “What’s the occasion?”

 _Just buttering you up before I turn your life upside down._ Emily thought to herself.

“There has to be an occasion for me to want to spoil my girlfriend?” She pushed Ali’s hair behind her ear.

“Of course not. This is very sweet.” Ali gave Emily a peck on the lips.

She pulled her blazer off and walked over to the closet. Her phone rang. She saw that it was Rosewood PD and she sent it to voicemail. She glanced at Emily.

“Tanner again,” she said with a shrug. “Probably calling to tell me they still know jack about squat about what happened to Charlotte. I just don’t have the patience to deal with that woman right now. We’ve got too much to do before dinner.” She turned around, an insecure look on her face. “I’ve been trying to decide if I should make deviled eggs or bruschetta.”

“It’s just dinner with my mom.” Emily shrugged. “We can grab some Snickerdoodles at the store before we go.”

“I am not bringing store-bought cookies into Pam Fields’ house. She’ll know.” Ali scoffed.

“I do it all the time. It’s not like you’re going to burst into flames if you bring something that’s not homemade.” Emily assured her. “I don’t know why you’re the one that’s nervous. I’m the one that’s sitting on a powder keg of secrets about to explode.”

“I just really want your mom to like me.” Ali admitted.

“She does like you.”

“That was before I was defiling her little girl.”

Emily snorted out a loud laugh.

“We’re adults. My mom understands that.” She put her hand on Ali’s arm to comfort her.

“Sorry, you must think I’m being totally dumb.” Ali shook her head with a sheepish expression on her face. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Not at all.” Emily sank down on the bed next to her.

“I have this thing about not wanting to disappoint parents. It’s probably because I constantly disappointed mine.” She huffed out a sardonic laugh.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up.” Emily grabbed Ali’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“It’s true. My dad doesn’t even talk to me anymore, and my mom…well, she never got to see me for who I really am.” She looked up with a pained smile on her face. “I know she wasn’t the greatest mother, but she was my only mother. And I miss her. There’s a lot I wish I could talk to her about,” she said with a sigh. “Sometimes something will happen and I’ll get so caught up in the moment that for a split second I’ll forget she’s gone, and it’s only when I start to think about how excited I am to talk to her that I remember she’s gone.”

“I know what you mean.”

Emily had experienced one of those moments a few months ago when she ran into Tom Hanks in West Hollywood. She’d been on a high after meeting him and grabbed her phone to call home. She couldn’t wait to tell her dad. Then she remembered.

“Ali, your mom would be really proud of you.” She put her arm around Ali and pulled her close.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Jessica DiLaurentis had been a complicated woman with many faults, but Emily knew that in her own twisted way, Jessica loved her kids. Like Ali, Jessica had a hidden vulnerability beneath her intimidating exterior. Emily had seen the softer side of Jessica when she stayed at the DiLaurentis house for a little while in high school after Charlotte plowed a car through her living room. Jessica had opened up to Emily in ways she hadn’t expected. They talked about how much they missed Ali, and when Emily came out to her Jessica immediately accepted her. That’s something not even Emily’s own mother had been able to do. Pam had all but disowned Emily when she found out she was gay. It took quite a bit of time for her to come around to it. Their parents were far from perfect, but they were who they were because of and in spite of them.

Everything that Emily had gone through with her mother had brought them closer together. There had been a time where she could go to her mother about anything, but she’d basically shut down and pulled away from her when she was diagnosed. It was hard for her, because she loved her mom so much. That’s exactly why it was so difficult for her to tell her what was going on.

When she walked up to her house that night she felt a panic she’d never experienced before. She stood on the porch for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do. She slid her heart monitor off her wrist and put it in her purse. Ali walked up the stairs behind her, a tray of homemade brownies in her hands. She just hadn’t been able to go the store-bought route.

“You ready?” Ali asked. She seemed as nervous as Emily.

“Not really.” Emily opened the door.

Her mother greeted them with a warm smile and even warmer hugs. Emily knew that as long as Ali was there that her mom wouldn’t bombard her with questions about dropping out of school. Ali was everything Emily needed her to be and more. She was laid-back, charming, and engaging. Her charismatic act hadn’t changed since high school. Emily watched as the two most important women in her life talked about trading recipes and laughed about life. At one point Pam and Ali discovered that they went to the same hairdresser and that they preferred the same brand of make-up.

Emily listened to them gab for a little while, but then her mind started to wander to memories of her father. A picture of him in his military garb caught her eye and she couldn’t help but wonder what he would have to say about all the problems in her life. She felt her emotions rising up in her throat. Her nose started burning as she fought back tears. She just wanted him to hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

“Em, you okay honey?” Pam’s voice brought her back to reality.

She turned back towards the table and saw that both her mother and Ali were looking at her like they were waiting on her to sprout an extra limb or something. Did she have something in her teeth? Or had she just been zoned out for too long?

“I’m fine.” Emily quickly shoved a bite of food in her mouth. She forced out a weak smile.

“Are you sure? I feel like you’re world’s away,” Pam said as she placed her fork down next to her plate. That wasn’t the first time Emily had heard that she was being distant. “Is something on your mind?”

“This marinade is really good.” Emily ignored her question. “Did you use oregano?”

Pam looked at her for a few seconds, confused by her refusal to talk to her. But then she shook her head and picked up her fork again.

“Basil and lemon pepper.”

Ali shot Emily a confused look as well. She thought they’d come tonight for Emily to come clean. She could see that Emily was struggling. She put her hand on Emily’s knee underneath the table and gave it a gentle encouraging squeeze. Still, Emily didn’t get more talkative as the evening wore on. It was only after Emily and Ali had helped Pam clean up and were getting ready to leave that Ali had the chance to pull Emily aside and ask her what was up.

“Are you okay?” she kept her voice low. “You’ve barely said two words since we got here. I mean, I know you’re nervous about telling her, but you’ve basically gone full-fledged zombie.”

“Well, I’m not craving brains, so I think we’re fine.” Emily shrugged.

“She gave you an opening.”

They heard the front door open and when Emily peered through the door she saw Pam walking out on to the porch.

“I wasn’t just going to blurt it out over dinner.” Her gaze was fixed on her mother.

“Are you having second thoughts?” Ali asked.

“No.” Emily stared at her mother through the window. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“She’s worried.” Ali followed Emily’s gaze.

“She’s always worried.”

“Well, that’s something we have in common,” Ali muttered. She took Emily’s hand. “Emily, go talk to her.”

“You do realize that you’re asking me to tell my mother that there’s nothing to worry about before I drop a bomb that’s going to make her do nothing _but_ worry, right?”

“Do you want me to go out there with you?”

“I think this is something I need to do on my own.” Emily shook her head.

“I understand.” Ali nodded. “I’ll see you at home.” She leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

 _Home_. Emily couldn’t help but smile.

After Ali left, Emily stood in her house, all of her childhood memories washing over her. Her eyes landed on a picture of her holding hands with her mother on a beach. Her dad had taken the photo. Their backs were to the camera and they were walking towards the water. She couldn’t have been older than three, but she remembered that day. Her mother had been holding her hand so tight, like she was afraid to let her go.

A wave of grief washed over her. It made her long for a simpler time. She danced around from foot to foot for a few minutes before she finally got the courage to move towards the door. When she walked outside she found her mother sitting on the steps looking up at the stars. She had a glass of red wine in her hand.

“Hey.” Emily walked up beside her.

“Hey.” Pam took a sip of her wine.

Emily sat down next to her. She wrapped her hands around her forearms and leaned forward. She wasn’t sure what to say. Before she could speak, Pam turned to her with a weak smile on her face.

“You and Alison seem really happy.” She swished her wine around in her glass.

“We are.” Except for the constant looming danger and the crippling uncertainty about their future.

“I had my doubts about her when you girls were younger,” Pam admitted. “But she’s really come into her own.” She drank another mouthful of wine. “I see the way she looks at you.” She turned away, her gaze a bit distant. “I looked at your father the same way.”

Emily felt her stomach churning at the mention of her dad. She swallowed back her nausea. She suddenly remembered a report she’d done in third grade about how wolves mated for life. She remembered being sad and worrying about wolves who’d lost their mates. In all the pictures she saw of wolves mourning their mates, they all had a desolate look in their eyes. She’d seen that same look in her mother’s eyes at her father’s funeral. She’d had trouble looking into her mother’s eyes since then.

“I owe you an explanation about what happened in California.” Emily chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously.

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot.” Pam nodded with a tense expression on her face. “I really wish that you would have told me about Pepperdine.”

“I know. Mom, I’m sorry. Listen, I…”

“It was your dad’s death, wasn’t it?” Pam interrupted her.

“Part of it.”

“I should have paid closer attention to how you were doing.” She shook her head.

“Mom, it wasn’t your fault. There was a lot happening, and things just fell apart. I went to bed one day focused, happy and healthy, and then…well, things changed.”

“Honey, I want you to promise me something.” She sighed and put her glass down. “I never want you to go through anything alone.” She put her hand on Emily’s face. “We can go through it together, okay? As long as we have each other we can get through anything.”

A twinge of guilt racked Emily’s body. How was her mother supposed to help her through something if that something killed her? It felt like a riddle that didn’t have a solid answer.

“Your dad struggled in college, too,” she said. “He wasn’t a fan of being confined to the classroom.” She smiled. “He thought that education, a _real_ education, was going out into the world and living it. You’re a lot like him.”

 _More than you know._ Emily pinched her eyes closed and huffed out a saddened breath. She’d unfortunately inherited more than his eyes and his smile.

“Emmy, I know your dad dying was tough on you.” This was the first conversation they’d been able to have about Wayne without one of them completely breaking down. “And I know I was a mess.” She peered at her daughter thoughtfully. “I still am,” she came by it honestly. “But that doesn’t mean that you have to hide how you’re feeling from me. Sweetheart, you will always be my first priority.” She put her hand on top of Emily’s hand. “No matter what.”

Emily glanced down as her mother laced her fingers into hers.

“Mom, do you remember when we found out about dad’s heart?” Emily curled her toes inside her shoes.

She saw several emotions roll over her mother’s face all at once. Sadness. Fear. Uncertainty. Grief.

“Of course.” Like she’d ever be able to forget it. “Why?”

“Because there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. I just wasn’t sure how to…”

Pam’s cell phone lurched to life beside her. They both jumped as the noise echoed in the quiet evening air. Pam glanced down at the screen and saw that it was her sister.

“I was wondering when I was going to hear from her.” Pam picked her phone up. “She always gets a little weepy this time of the year. With today being the anniversary of your grandmother’s passing I think we’ve all been a little out of sorts.”

Emily felt a crushing pain in her chest. How had she forgotten that today was the anniversary of her grandmother’s death? She looked at her mother. How could she tell her mom about her heart on the anniversary of her own mother’s death?

 _Crap. Really shoddy planning, idiot._ She berated herself.

“To tell you the truth, this dinner really helped me take my mind off of it. It gave me something to do to keep me busy.” Pam smiled. “I’m really glad you and Alison came tonight.” She glanced at her phone, which was still ringing.

“You know she’s not going to stop calling until she gets an answer.” Emily motioned towards the phone.

Pam looked at the phone and then back at Emily.

“You said you needed to tell me something. Is it important?” Pam asked.

“Uh…” she said hesitantly, “…no. I – it can wait.” She’d waited this long. What was one more day? Emily stood up. “I should get going.”

“Okay.” Pam stood next to her. “Be careful walking home.”

“I will.” Emily took a step forward, but then turned to face her mother. “Hey, mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Pam asked.

“For dinner.” Emily smiled. “For…everything.”

“I love you, Em.” She reached over and squeezed Emily’s hand.

“I love you, too.”

She walked away so her mother could talk to her sister. Emily cursed herself the entire walk back to Ali’s house. She was angry at herself for many reasons. For not remembering that tonight was the anniversary of her grandmother’s death. For being such an idiot at dinner. For letting the secret about her heart linger. For not going to her mother in the first place when all of this started. For not appreciating her parents more. For not letting them in when she needed them the most. That one hurt the most.

Being with her mother always made Emily think about her dad. What would he say about all of this? Memories of her father pulsed through her mind like a long stretch of a winding road where the scenery just whizzed by in the blink of an eye. The images were both comforting and painful. The feeling was overwhelming. She felt hot and uncomfortable. She pulled at the collar of her shirt, as it suddenly felt too constricting.

When she walked into Ali’s house, she thought Ali would be standing there waiting for her, but instead she found a note on the kitchen table that she had an errand to run and that she’d be back soon. Emily stood in the kitchen for a few seconds trying to let the flood of emotions she felt roll off of her, but it just got worse. She felt like she might start hyperventilating at any point. She tried chugging a glass of water and then went upstairs to change out of her clothes. By the time she’d changed into her loose fitting sports bra and her favorite pair of bicycle shorts her hands were shaking.

She sat against the edge of the bed, her heels pressed against the bed frame, her toes curling into the plush carpet. She rested her elbows on her knees and pushed her palms flat against her forehead. She took in a deep breath and she did something she hadn’t let herself do in a long time: she cried. Everything she’d been holding in poured out of her. Her body shook, uninhibited and unrestrained. She just let everything go. She wasn’t really sure how long she cried for. It was only when she heard the front door open that she snapped out of it.

She heard Ali coming. She sat up just as Ali walked into the room. She quickly and covertly wiped away her tears, her back still to Ali.

“Hey, sorry. Hope I didn’t worry you.” There was a lively air in Ali’s voice. Emily caught a glimpse of her in the mirror and saw that she had a take-out bag from _The Brew_ in her hands, even though it had closed over an hour ago. “I called Sabrina after I left your mom’s house. I thought that after tonight you might need a little pick-me-up. I got your favorite.” She pulled a freshly made cupcake out of the bag. “I know it’s no handpicked flower arrangement,” She ran her fingers over the flowers Emily had gotten from her garden, “but it’s the best I could do on short notice.” Emily saw her reflection turn towards her. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” She glanced over her shoulder, trying not to let Ali see her puffy eyes. It wasn’t her puffy eyes that gave it away. It was her voice. It was hoarse from crying.

Ali walked around the bed. She took in Emily’s appearance and immediately realized that she was the opposite of okay.

“You are _not_ fine.” She sounded like a concerned mother. “Em…” She leaned down to meet her eyes. She put one hand on Emily’s knee and the other on her face. Her hands were soft and warm against Emily’s bare flesh. “I thought you were done lying to me.”

It wasn’t a lie so much as a kneejerk reaction. Even though she wanted absolute honesty with Ali, sometimes she still found herself hiding behind walls she’d constructed to protect herself. It wasn’t something she did consciously. Sometimes it just happened, like a reflex.

“Yeah, I know. You’re right.” Emily tried to breathe through her nose, but it was stuffy. “I’m just a little overwhelmed right now,” she admitted. “Seeing my mom tonight was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.”

“I take it she didn’t react to the news well.”

“I didn’t tell her,” Emily sighed. “It’s the anniversary of her mother’s death. I almost broke her heart on a night where I should have been helping her keep it together.” She clenched her jaw. “I have gone about this whole thing the wrong way. I have been so incredibly stupid…and selfish. I mean, my God, what am I doing, Ali?” She craned her head up. Ali’s hand slipped from her face. “I’ve completely lost control.”

Ali pulled herself up from kneeling and sat next to Emily on the bed. Emily couldn’t look her in the eye.

“You’re disappointed that I didn’t tell her.” Emily turned away, not being able to bear seeing what Ali’s face looked like.

She felt Ali’s hand glide across her stomach and up along her exposed abs. She wrapped her arm around Emily, pulling her close, their knees pushed together. She wanted Emily to face her.

“I’m not upset,” Ali said, taking her free hand and gently forcing Emily to look at her. “I do want you to tell her. I meant everything I said at lunch today. But I know that you’ll talk in your own time. The last thing I want to do is push you to talk before you’re ready. I’m afraid if I do that, I’ll push you away.”

And looking into Ali’s eyes, Emily could see that Ali was truly afraid of that. Her mother was right. The way Ali looked at her was unmistakable. It was more than love. It was more than passion and desire. It was like an inherent need, like two halves of a whole in which they wouldn’t exist without each other.

“There is nothing you could possibly do to push me away from you.” For Emily, not having Alison would be like not having oxygen. “Leaving you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’m never making that mistake again.”

Emily leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Alison’s lips. Alison’s body melted into Emily’s. Her palm slowly slid up Emily’s arm, her fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“I should have stayed. I should have known you wanted me to stay.” She pushed her forehead against Ali’s temple, her nose nestling against Ali’s ear. “I was such a colossal dumbass.”

All Emily could think about was the five years she’d spent away from Ali. She thought about the nights she would lie awake thinking about her. She thought about how her stomach would do flips every time she saw a beautiful blonde strolling on the beach, only to be disappointed when that girl turned around and it wasn’t Ali. She thought about the snowglobe Ali had given her years ago, sitting on her nightstand back in California. She thought about all the times she wanted to reach out, but pulled back for some unknown reason. She thought about all the words they’d left unsaid, and all the time she’d wasted not being with her.

She knew that her mother would kill for one more day with her father. And here Emily had been, existing in the same world as someone she loved so much…and they had just let so many precious memories pass them by.

“All that time we lost. I can’t…” Emily tried to compose herself. “We could have had this for five years. We could have had roses and cupcakes and dancing and picnics under the stars. We could have hiked up to the cliffs just to watch the sunrise or taken a vacation to Paris like we always dreamed.” She wanted to cry, but she didn’t have any tears left.

“We will do all that and more. What’s a few years when we’ve got the rest of our lives to be together?” Ali winced, trying to suppress her fear that it wouldn’t be as long as she hoped.

When it came to love, there never seemed to be enough time. It scared Ali to watch the clock, because the moment you started watching the clock you started counting down. But that’s all she had been able to think about: the unwinding clock in control of their lives. Emily told her that it was unhealthy to wait for the other shoe to drop, but Ali felt like a helpless ant at the mercy of a sadistic young child getting ready to stomp on her. The importance of spending every moment she could with Emily was something that stood in the forefront of her mind.

Ali had thought a lot about those five years, too. There had been times when all she wanted to do was get on a plane and show up on Emily’s doorstep. She hated herself for dragging her feet and for not being able to admit her feelings sooner. She hated herself for all the games she played with Emily in high school. How many memories had been lost because she refused to let Emily love her? How many times had she missed holding her, telling her she loved her, kissing every inch of her body? Why had they both been so stubborn?

“The important thing is that we have each other now. Nothing else matters.” Ali turned her head to meet Emily’s gaze.

Emily bit her tongue. There was something that mattered, something that was looming over the both of them. The very pressing matter of a certain stalker who was threatening to rip them apart.

“Everything is going to be okay, Em.” Ali pulled back and swept Emily’s hair behind her ear.

And Emily wanted Ali’s words to be true. They had both come so far and waited so long to get here with one another. They deserved to be happy. But in order to get that happiness they had to fight against _A_ and win. Emily looked back at Ali, the words on the tip of her tongue. She had failed to tell her mother about her heart. She couldn’t fail to tell Ali about _A_ , too. It was now or never. She took Ali’s hands in her own.

“Ali…”

Before she could say anything else, Alison curled against her, moving her leg against Emily’s thigh and pushing her chest against Emily’s body. She grabbed Emily’s face with her hands and forced her lips against Emily’s. Emily felt Alison’s hot breath mixing with hers and her heart sped up in her chest. But her brain was still fixed on _A_.

 _You have to tell her._ Her brain screamed at her over her libido.

“There’s something you don’t know,” Emily said, almost breathlessly. “There’s something I have to…”

“Shut up, Emily.” Alison wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore.

That was all Emily’s hormones needed to hear to shut her up. She immediately did what she was told. She got lost in Alison’s motions. Alison deepened the kiss. She pressed her body firmly against Emily’s, forcing Emily to lean back until her back was against the bed, her legs still dangling over the edge. Alison followed her movements, her bare legs hooking into Emily’s. Alison nudged her leg in between Emily’s thighs, gently pushing them apart, her skirt tickling Emily’s knee.

She grabbed Emily’s hands and pushed them down on either side of her head and held them there while she kissed her exposed neck. Her kisses trailed lower as she ran her fingers across Emily’s collarbone and down to the edge of Emily’s sports bra. She kissed all around it and then slipped her fingers underneath the loose fabric, making Emily jump at the sudden contact. Alison’s fingers were gentle and soft in their exploration. She could feel Emily’s heart racing underneath her touch. As her kisses lingered lower, her hands followed. She gently traced her lips all along Emily’s abdomen, watching in awe as Emily’s body tensed and then relaxed underneath her mouth.

She slid down off the bed, kneeling down so she could massage Emily’s inner thighs. She slowly worked her fingers up and down, kneading her legs while simultaneously placing kisses along the inside of her knee and all the way up her toned legs until she reached the trim of Emily’s shorts. She paused, considering just ripping them off and giving in to her urges, but she knew that once she started she wouldn’t be able to stop, and despite how much she wanted Emily, she knew her girlfriend wouldn’t be able to withstand her hungry stamina just yet. They were already defying doctor’s orders to not put added stress on Emily’s heart. What they were doing was basically cardio, which she’d been told to avoid.

Emily started trembling and she reached out for her, a strong desire have her lips on Alison’s. Alison crawled up her body and leaned over Emily, straddling her around her waist. Alison’s hair fell over Emily’s face as she leaned forward. Emily gingerly grabbed Alison’s face and pulled her down to meet her lips. She felt Alison’s hand brush against her cheek and massage her jaw. Emily’s hands slid down the sides of Alison’s neck, her fingernails scraping the back of her neck and then trailing down her spine. Alison felt Emily’s nails lightly digging into her back. Emily slipped Alison’s shirt up and Alison helped her pull it off.

In one fluid motion, Emily pulled her legs up and wrapped her arm around Alison’s lower back, her fingers gripping the tender flesh right above her perfectly round buttocks. She flipped her over and straddled her, smiling when Alison gasped in surprise at the sudden shift in control. Emily leaned forward, placing kisses along Ali’s collarbone. She ran her index finger along the length of her chest down to her navel. She leaned down and her lips grazed Ali’s stomach, eliciting a cry of pleasure from her. Alison ran her fingers through Emily’s hair. She turned her head to the side and let out a satisfied moan. Emily’s lips slowly moved up Alison’s body, her nose tickling a tender spot between Alison’s ribs. Emily buried her head in between Alison’s neck and shoulder and gently sucked and licked the sensitive skin around Alison’s collarbone.

They let themselves get lost in their passion, in exploring each other’s bodies, all the while they were both cursing themselves for letting five years go by. Five years they could have had each other. Knowing what they knew now, five years felt like a lifetime.

They were both so swept up in the moment that they lost sight of reality, neither remembering the problems hanging over their heads. It was only when Alison felt Emily’s chest flushed against hers that she realized her pulse was racing. She felt Emily’s hot breath coming out in unsteady exhalations against her ear as Emily placed soft kisses along her jaw. Emily’s hand was against the other side of Alison’s face, shaking against her cheek.

“Em, we have to…” she panted, slipping her hand underneath Emily’s quaking hand to get her attention, “ …we have to stop.” She knew that if she didn’t stop Emily now that they would be going at it all night. “Emily, your heart…”

“It’s fine.” Emily sat up slightly, her lips moving to Alison’s mouth.

She was completely hypnotized by Alison’s aura. She didn’t dare tell her that she was dizzy from all the excitement. Then again, she didn’t have to say a word. Alison just knew. Emily pulled away just enough to take a breath and Alison reached up and wiped some sweat from Emily’s cheeks.

“Hey, look at me.” Alison rubbed her thumb across Emily’s cheekbone.

It was hard to tell how much of Emily’s perspiration was from their passion and how much of it was her heart working too hard. Emily had told her time and time again not to look at her like she was going to drop dead, but Alison couldn’t help it. She had gotten really good at casually checking Emily’s heart monitor. She always knew when enough was enough. And it was a good thing, too, because Emily would push herself too hard…like she always did. She needed someone to keep her from going overboard.

Alison grabbed Emily’s hips and rolled slightly to the side bringing Emily down against the bed, flipping their positions yet again. Emily didn’t resist. As soon as her back hit the bed she melted into the mattress. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath. She felt Alison’s lips gently press against her forehead. Alison rolled off of Emily so she could breathe easier. She propped herself up on her elbow and leaned over her, straightening the hairs that had gone astray on Emily’s head. Her palm came to rest on the side of Emily’s neck, her fingers mindlessly rubbing Emily’s earlobe. She placed a kiss on the edge of Emily’s mouth, her lips lingering for just a moment. She knew if she held the kiss for too long they would get started again.

“You have to pace yourself,” Alison said. She could feel her hand burning from the heat radiating off of Emily’s skin. Her palm was hot, but Emily was hotter.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Emily opened her eyes and looked up at Alison. She looked exhausted, but content.

“All that time I thought I was the bad influence on you. Turns out you’re the naughty one.” Ali pressed her lips together and tried to suppress a smile. “Keeping you in line is going to be tough. Good thing I like a challenge.”

Emily smiled at her. Over her shoulder she could see the cupcake that Ali had gone out of her way to get for her tonight sitting on the table beside their bed. Emily tilted her chin down and brought Ali’s hand up to her mouth and kissed her knuckles.

“I don’t deserve you,” Emily said with a quiet sigh.

“Oh, get over yourself.” Ali scoffed playfully. She kissed Emily and then sat up. “I’m going to go wash my face, although you probably already licked most of it clean.”

Emily laughed. She listened to Ali rustling around in the bathroom. She stared at the ceiling, feeling the most relaxed she’d felt in a long time. She loved that being with Alison helped her let go of all of her pain. The hold that Ali had over her was like magic. Emily yawned and then glanced at her phone to see what time it was. She had a missed text from Hanna:

_“2 o’clock tomorrow. The boys are all in. Did you tell Ali?”_

And she was right back in reality. Her fingers hovered above the keypad for a few seconds, then she put the phone down. It was too late to send a reply. She’d have to talk to Hanna in the morning. Ali would know everything by then.

Ali walked back into the room and immediately realized that something was off with Emily.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Emily saw her eyes dart towards her wrist, checking her heart monitor. Her heart was beating irregularly, but not for the reason that Ali thought. “Was it too much?”

“No.” Emily didn’t miss a beat before she answered. In her mind, it wasn’t enough. “No, it’s just…I need to tell you something.”

Her idea to tell Ali hadn’t gone exactly as planned. She had wanted to sit down with her and calmly and rationally explain everything. But maybe this was better. What better time to tell Ali about _A_ than when they were both still high off of the fumes from one another?

“What is it?”

Emily didn’t say anything. She was trying to gather the courage to do it.

“Em?” She crawled in the bed next to her. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. What’s up? Is it your heart? Your mom? Tanner? Sara Harvey?” She asked, almost in a panic.

It was all of the above and more.

“It’s _A_ ,” Emily said quietly.

“What?” Ali pulled back in shock.

“All the nightmares I’ve been having aren’t just because I’m back in town. It’s because the girls and I aren’t the _only_ ones back.”

“I don’t understand.” Her brow crinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about _A_ , in the flesh, taking us right back to where we were in high school.”

“ _A_ is gone. Charlotte is dead.” The words still hurt for Ali to say out loud. “Any chance of _A_ hurting you died with her.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

Ali sighed. She had a thoughtful look on her face.

“Look, coming back here was bound to drudge up old memories. I mean, _A_ …” Ali swallowed a knot in her throat, “…Charlotte…she practically killed us both in my living room when we were younger. I know that everything in this town is a constant reminder of everything that we went through. And I get that you’re freaked being back here. I do. I went through it, too. Struggling with your nightmares has to be tough, but we’re safe. There is no more _A_.”

Emily wanted to bury her face in her hands and scream.

“Ali, you’re not hearing me.” Emily reached for her phone. “It’s happening again.” She pulled up the texts she’d been getting from that dreaded unknown number and handed Ali the phone.

Ali started to scroll through the threatening messages. Her eyes widened. Her mouth felt dry.

“Oh, my God.” She froze, staring at the phone. “Oh, my God. Emily…” She finally looked up at her, a mixture of terror and anger on her face. “Why would you keep this from me?”

“I didn’t have a choice.” Emily took the phone from her. “ _A_ was threatening you.”

“I don’t care!” She yelled angrily. “Forget about me. This person knows about your heart! Do you know how much danger that puts _you_ in? I mean, Jesus, Em, did you ever stop to think that this person didn’t want me to know because _you’re_ the target?”

“Calm down.” Emily had been anticipating her anger, so she was prepared to talk her down from it. “The girls and I are working on it. I’m not dealing with this alone.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” She snapped. She ground her teeth together. “When did this start again?”

“After Charlotte’s funeral.”

Ali took in a deep breath through her nose. She looked like she was about to explode.

“You’ve been running around chasing after this person the entire time you’ve been back in Rosewood?” She cocked her head and looked at Emily. “No wonder you had a heart attack.”

“Actually, cardiac arrest and a heart attack aren’t the same thing…” She drifted off when she saw Ali’s face. It was a shade of red Emily had never seen before.

“Do you _really_ want to split hairs about that with me right now?” She glared at Emily.

Emily suddenly felt like a child trying to choose what battles to fight with her parents. The inner kid in her kept telling her that the only proper response to Ali right now was “no, ma’am.”

“I’m sorry.” Emily sighed, her eyes drifting down. “I really am.” She peered out of the corner of her eyes at Ali with a sad expression. “You have every right to be pissed.”

She looked like a scolded puppy. Ali’s face softened. Like a puppy, Emily had learned how to use that face to get out of trouble for years.

“I’m not pissed.” But her voice told a different story. “I want to be,” she said, her gaze fixed on the wall, her jaw rigid. “I should be. But the truth is, I’m not surprised. You’ve spent your whole life protecting me. You can’t be mad at a guard dog for being loyal.”

“I think you just called me a bitch,” Emily said with an amused smile.

“Yeah, well, you earned it.” Ali glanced at her, her face still bright red. “Em, all this sneaking around stops now. You have to tell me everything.”

Emily took a deep breath before she started from the beginning. She was prepared for Ali to flip out again, but Ali just listened. Emily told her everything, from the very first threat to the attack that happened in Ali’s living room to what the girls had seen on the dollhouse video. By the end of it, Ali was shaking.

“We have to go to the cops about this,” she said.

“If we do that, who knows what _A_ will do?”

“You were attacked…in _this_ house! This isn’t some high school kid with a grudge. This person is threatening our lives, and whether you admit it or not, you’re the most vulnerable.”

“I’m not a china doll.” Emily rolled her eyes. “I’ve handled myself just fine up to this point.”

“I’m starting to think you _want_ to die.” Ali shook her head.

“That’s not fair, Ali.” Emily frowned.

“Well, what am I supposed to think? This is insanely dangerous,” she sounded like she was about to cry. She pressed her fingers firmly against the bridge of her nose. “Who would do this?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

“It has to be someone who knows how to play the game really well.” She rubbed her forehead, trying to fight off the tension headache that was looming. “What about Mona?”

“Mona has been helping us. She practically hired a bodyguard for us when she suspected that Charlotte was planning something. Who knows where we’d be without her intel?” Emily shrugged. “Besides, that person helping Sara and Charlotte in the dollhouse was clearly a guy. Mona may be able to do a lot of things, but she couldn’t magically grow a foot and a half and sprout pecs and biceps like the ones we saw on that footage.”

“Charlotte lied to me about so much.” Ali was surprised at how disappointed she sounded. It wasn’t that shocking, was it? After all, her sister had been a serial liar. “I mean, we all knew about Sara Harvey, but I can’t believe there was someone else there with them. You never saw his face?”

“No.” Emily sighed. “Look, Ali, the person who is doing this thinks we know who killed Charlotte. Do you have any idea who did it?”

“Charlotte made a lot of enemies,” Ali said, feeling completely helpless. “The list is endless.”

“Whoever is doing this loved her. It wasn’t someone on the tail end of Charlotte’s torture. Whoever is doing this…they want revenge for what happened to her.”

“The only person who loved her that much was me,” Ali said sadly.

“And Sara,” Emily added. “You told me that you believed her when she said she cared about Charlotte. Do you still believe that?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“Do you think they could have been more than just friends?” Emily asked.

“You think they fell in love?” Ali questioned. She mulled it over. “I mean, I guess that’s possible. Charlotte always seemed more in to guys, but she was a free spirit.”

“I’ve been working on this theory. I think that maybe the third person in the dollhouse is still in contact with Sara. Now, I don’t know who recruited who, but I think that Sara came back for a purpose. She honed in on me because of our history. I don’t know why, but I think she’s trying to push me to the brink of insanity. First she showed up in the graveyard and then she came by my hospital room and…”

“She _what_?” There was rage in Ali’s tone.

Emily had forgotten to mention Sara visiting her in the hospital when she was giving Ali the rundown on everything. Emily couldn’t prove anything, but she believed Mona. It wasn’t a coincidence that James had driven Sara to the hospital earlier in the week. Sara was trying to make Emily’s life a living hell. Emily explained that Sara had come by to taunt her when she was drugged up.

“I see.” Ali nodded intently. She calmly pushed the covers off of her legs and stood up.

“Ali, where are you going?” Emily’s eyes widened in alarm.

She kicked the covers off and crawled across the bed. She threw her feet against the floor and paced after Ali and grabbed her arm.

“I am going to find Sara Harvey and then I am going to make her talk.” She had a determined look on her face as she reached for the doorknob. She was serious. “And then I’m going to kill her,” she said calmly and matter-of-factly.

“It’s one in the morning.”

“I don’t care,” Ali said through her teeth. “That bitch has been messing with you since you got back. She’s probably _A_. I want her gone.”

“We have to be sensible about this.” Emily rubbed her hand against Ali’s forearm. “She’s not working alone. We need to find out who else is involved,” Emily explained. “Listen, tomorrow Toby, Ezra, and Caleb are going with me and the girls to the dollhouse to follow up on a lead. It could lead us right to _A_.”

Ali’s lip twitched. She blinked several times in disbelief.

“Emily Catherine Fields, have you lost your mind?” Ali gawked at her.

“You’re the one getting ready to hunt down Sara Harvey and throwdown with her in your jammies.”

Hearing Emily say “jammies” made Ali snort out an unexpected laugh.

“You’re insane. You know that?” Ali rolled her eyes.

“Maybe.” Emily shrugged, not denying the outlandish nature of her actions.

“I don’t suppose I can talk you out of this?”

“We have to put an end to this. If there is something there that can nail this person, we have to find it.”

“Fine. But I’m going with you.” She folded her arms across her chest and glared at Emily.

“No. Ali, you can’t do that.” Emily argued.

“Why not?”

“Well, first of all, you’ve got that field trip tomorrow. You can’t back out of that. The kids will be so disappointed.”

“They’ll find someone else to chaperone.”

“With six hours’ notice? Not likely.” Emily shook her head. “Besides, everything has to appear normal. If _A_ knows that I told you we’re all screwed. I swear I will keep you involved and I will tell you everything, but you have to pretend that you don’t know.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You have to,” Emily said. “That’s the only way that this is going to work.”

Ali dropped her hands to her sides and let out a sigh. She hated knowing how much danger Emily and the others were in and not being able to do anything about it. She felt like she was back in high school, when she was on the run. She’d had to stand idly by and watch from the sidelines for the longest time. The worst kind of torture she’d had to endure was watching the people she loved suffer. She’d thought it was difficult back then, but those days were a cakewalk compared to what this person was putting her loved ones through. It went against every instinct she had to let Emily and the others do this without her. She couldn’t stand the thought of any of them getting hurt.

“I don’t like this, Emily.” Her voice was tired, defeated.

“I know,” Emily replied. She hated it just as much as Ali did.

“If anything happens to you I’ll never forgive myself.”

Her rage was dissipating and her fear was taking over. Emily could see her hands shaking. She gently took Ali’s hands in hers. Ali looked down, her chin quivering, her lips twitching. Her eyes filled with tears. Emily pulled her in for a hug and Ali immediately fell into her shoulder, letting go of Emily’s hands so she could wrap her arms around her waist. Emily put her hand on the back of Ali’s head and gently stroked her hair. She guided her back towards the bed and they laid down, Ali burying her head in Emily’s chest. She kept a tight hold on Emily, afraid that if she let her go something terrible might happen to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner me: You suck at writing intimate scenes.  
> Also inner me: Heh, heh, you said 'suck'.
> 
> For real though, I’m hoping that Emison's...er...uh...passionate scenes have been okay up until now.


	24. Down the Rabbit Hole

The dollhouse was just as terrifying as Emily remembered. It was almost as if it still had a life of its own. The floors creaked beneath their feet as they walked through the dark abandoned hallways. Emily’s flashlight flickered and she lightly slapped her palm against the side to get it working again. Toby was leading the pack, gun drawn, ready for any surprises they might find. Caleb and Hanna were on Emily’s right and Spencer was on her left. Aria and Ezra were bringing up the rear. She heard Aria sputter and she turned around to face her.

“You okay?” Emily whispered, though she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to be quiet.

“There are cobwebs everywhere.” Aria rubbed her palm over her face to brush away a clump of light feathery material. “Oh God, I think there’s a spider in my hair.” She spun around and flailed about.

“Hold still.” Ezra turned his flashlight towards her. He delicately picked a piece of the cobweb out of her hair.

“Being back here is giving me the heebie jeebies.” Hanna clung tightly to Caleb.

Something inside the walls groaned. It sounded like the building settling. They passed a familiar hallway. Emily stopped. Even though the walls were crumbling, she recognized the area.

“I think it’s this way.” Emily took a step away from her friends.

Her foot hit a spot of uneasy flooring. There was something off about the hallway. Spencer was the first one to see it.

“Em, wait.” She reached out to grab her arm, but it was too late.

The floor shifted underneath Emily’s weight. A large tile in the floor suddenly flew open like a trap door and Emily slid down into a dark pit beneath the ground. She somehow miraculously landed on her feet, dust flying everywhere. Her flashlight slipped out of her grasp and hit the floor, going out and leaving her in the dark. She coughed a few times and then tried to get her bearings.

“Emily? Are you okay?” She saw Toby’s silhouette leaning over the hole, shining a light down on top of her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She looked around the fire-damaged room.

“Hold on. We’re going to find something to get you out of there,” Ezra said.

The walls groaned again and Emily saw what little light there was in the room fading. When she looked up, the trap door was closing.

“Guys?” Emily felt panic rising up in her throat. “Guys, get me out of here!”

The door snapped shut. Seconds later she heard a bunch of noise above her. There was a loud yell and then a thud. It sounded like there was a struggle going on. Emily felt around the room to try and find the flashlight, but she couldn’t see anything. She heard something hissing and felt hot air being pumped into the room. She knew exactly where she was. She’d been thrown in this room before. It was a hot sauna with no ventilation and no escape. But there was no way it could still work. She told herself she was imagining it, that she was just having hot-flashes because of her nerves. The heat’s intensity started to make her dizzy. Sweat was pouring out of every orifice of her body. Every breath she took burned her lungs.

Then the walls started to close in on her. She closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. In her mind she saw Ali. She focused on her engaging blue eyes. She could feel her touch. And all at once she knew she was dreaming. She could suddenly feel Ali’s presence.

She jolted awake, startling Ali awake as well. Ali’s arms were wrapped around her and her face was resting on her chest, her head nuzzled underneath Emily’s chin. Emily’s chest rose and fell rapidly for a few seconds before she was able to regulate her breathing. She laid the back of her forearm against her sweat-soaked brow and took a deep breath. She felt Ali slide her arm across her stomach and snake her fingers into the hand resting by Emily’s side. Ali could feel Emily’s heart pounding up against her cheek.

“Em?” Ali questioned, afraid to move and startle her more.

“I’m here. I’m okay.” Emily slipped her arm over her head. She tucked her chin down and kissed the top of Ali’s head.

Her chest was still tender from her healing bruises, but feeling Ali’s warmth there was the greatest feeling in the world.

“How bad was it?” Ali asked quietly, her thumb drawing mindless patterns in Emily’s palm.

“I’ve had worse.” Emily lowered her arm and ran her hand across Ali’s cheek. “You sleep okay?”

She’d been worried about Ali having a restless night after she told her about _A_. Emily had stayed up for a little while after Ali had fallen asleep in her arms. It was equal parts wanting to make sure she was comfortable and making sure Ali didn’t go rogue and try to hunt down Sara on her own. She had been worked up enough to do it last night. And Emily knew that when Ali was pissed, she was a force to be reckoned with, especially when it came to protecting her loved ones.

“You mean besides the dreams I had about someone throwing a bag over your head and kidnapping you?” Ali glanced up at her.

Emily looked away uncomfortably.

“Don’t you look away from me while I’m lecturing you,” Ali said, channeling her inner-teacher. “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me what was going on.”

“If it was my life at stake you would have done the same thing,” Emily said, looking down to meet her gaze.

“It _is_ your life at stake, Emily.” Ali’s tone was a mixture of aggravation and despondence. Her protective nature and her anxiety were fighting for dominance. “It is _all_ of your lives. You, the girls, you’re all walking a really risky line here.”

“Ali, you spent all of high school walking that line,” Emily said, being very careful not to sound resentful, because she wasn’t. “I lost you down that rabbit hole once. I’m not letting you go down that path again. You did what you had to do to protect us. You can’t give me flack for trying to do the same for you.”

Ali opened her mouth to argue, but then quickly closed it when she realized that she didn’t have an argument. Emily was right. There had been many times in Ali’s life in which she’d kept things from her friends to try and protect them. But she’d also learned that doing that never ended well. It’s why she was so mad she’d been kept in the dark about this. The shoe was on the other foot, and it was really tripping her up.

“You’re making sense.” Ali frowned, a little annoyed that she’d been outsmarted. “Stop that.”

Emily laughed. She reached for her phone and Ali sat up. Ali rolled over to her side of the bed, hating the feel of the cold mattress against her skin after pulling away from Emily’s warm body. Ali watched Emily as she typed away on her phone’s keypad. Emily furrowed her brow in concentration and Ali took a moment to appreciate the determined look on her face. Emily’s mouth was slightly open with an oval shape, her tongue flicking against the back of her teeth. She saw some sweat glistening in between the creases on Emily’s forehead and found herself wondering if Emily had really recovered from her nightmare or if she was just pushing forward without thinking about it.

“I really don’t like the idea of you going back to the dollhouse.” Ali knew she wasn’t going to change Emily’s mind, but she wanted to voice her concerns again for the hundredth time. “You’re supposed to avoid stressful situations. Plus your nightmares are already bad enough as it is.”

“I’m aware.” Emily looked up from her phone. “It’s not like I want to do this.”

“Then don’t.” Ali begged. “What if going there is exactly what _A_ wants you to do?”

“Everything is going to be fine, Ali. We’re going out there in broad daylight. And the girls and I won’t be alone. Caleb and Ezra are coming, not to mention, Toby, who will be armed.” Emily reassured her. “We’re so close to figuring this out. I can feel it.”

Ali looked up at the ceiling and huffed out an exasperated breath. She rolled on to her side and propped herself up on her arm.

“Please promise me you’ll be careful.” Ali reached across her pillow and rubbed Emily’s face with her knuckles.

“Of course.” Emily nodded.

“What time are you going out there?” Ali questioned.

“We’re meeting up around 1:30 and then we’re riding out together.”

“You better text me updates every five minutes. If I don’t hear from you I’m going to abandon my kids, hijack their bus, and break every traffic law that exists to haul your ass back here safe and sound.”

“I’ll do my best.” Emily laughed picturing Ali driving a bulky yellow tank down the highway and threatening to bowl over every car that got in her way. “Cell signal can be spotty out that way, so don’t freak if I can’t text you _every_ five minutes, okay?”

“Can’t you ask Caleb to bring some fancy technological satellite phone or something?” Ali complained.

“We’re taking a day trip to the woods, not getting marooned on a desert island.” Emily smiled. “Just relax and enjoy your field trip to the planetarium.”

“Who needs the planetarium when I’ve got you, My Sun and Stars?” She crinkled her nose and then glanced down in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

Emily laughed and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

“I thought it was cute.” Emily nuzzled her nose against Ali’s.

“I have been watching too much _Game of Thrones_ ,” Ali said.

“Let’s just hope that we fare better than…well, everyone on that show.” Emily grimaced.

Emily yawned and then crawled out of bed. When her feet hit the floor she had a sudden flash to falling into the dollhouse pit and was overtaken by a surge of wooziness. She put her hand on the nightstand for support and squeezed her eyes shut. She pushed her fear out of her mind and the feeling quickly passed. She discreetly checked her heart monitor. Her pulse was a little fast, but nothing out of the ordinary for her. She heard Ali shuffling behind her.

“What’s wrong?” Ali crawled across the bed, pushing herself up on her knees and reaching for Emily’s arm.

“I just stood up too fast.” Emily stiffened and took her hand off the nightstand. She felt completely fine now.

“Come here.” Ali gently pulled her back towards the mattress. “Sit down. I’ll get your meds.”

“I’m fine.” Emily extended her hand and showed Ali her heart monitor. She started to tell her it was just residual flashes from her nightmares, but thought that might make Ali more upset, especially given that she was going back to the dollhouse.

“Sit. Down.” Ali ordered, this time more aggressively.

Ali forced her back on to the bed, annoying Emily. But Emily knew she was doing it out of love, so she let her take control. Ali disappeared for a few seconds and then came back with a glass of water. She rummaged around the dresser and pulled out a small medication organizer that Emily hadn’t seen before. She popped a top and poured a few pills into her hand. Then she popped another top and did the same thing.

“Did you organize my meds?” Emily looked at her in confusion.

“By time to take, size, and color.” Ali put the container up.

“How very Spencer of you,” Emily said in a flat tone.

Ali walked across the room and gave Emily the glass of water and her medications. Emily swallowed them down. Then out of sheer cheekiness she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue like she was a child in a doctor’s office letting Dr. DiLaurentis see that her meds were all gone.

“Happy?” Emily asked.

“Don’t be a smartass.” Ali rolled her eyes. She frowned and looked out the window, then she looked back at Emily, her brow knitted, her forehead wrinkled. She grabbed Emily’s hand and looked at her heart monitor, a tense look on her face. “You are not doing this dollhouse thing today.”

“Ali, my heart is fine,” Emily replied, patiently, because she knew Ali was sensitive about her health. She pulled her hand away from Ali’s. “I was just shaking off my nightmare.”

“All the more reason you shouldn’t go.” Ali countered.

Emily put her hands on Ali’s waist.

“I love you,” Emily said with smile, “but you’re being paranoid.”

“And I love you, but you’re being an idiot.” Ali glared at her.

They argued for a few minutes, Emily winning out in the end. Ali stormed out of the room in a huff to get ready for school. Emily made them breakfast, hoping that the gesture would cool her down. By the time Ali came into the kitchen she was being a bit more level-headed. After they ate, Ali tried one last time to talk Emily out of going to the dollhouse. Emily could tell she was still pissed about the whole ordeal. Ali didn’t say anything outright, but she was very passive-aggressive about it. Emily just shrugged it off. She knew Ali would get over it.

After Ali left, Emily decided to kill a little bit of time by gardening some more. She’d been surprised by how serene she felt in nature yesterday. She thought a little serenity might help qualm her fears about going back to the dollhouse.

When she’d been picking flowers for Ali she had noticed that one of her small peonies had outgrown the little section that it was in. She thought it might be nice to move it and help it thrive in a larger area. It didn’t take her long. She was finishing up when she heard someone waltz up behind her.

“Beautiful day for gardening.” The voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

“Lieutenant Tanner.” Emily greeted her with a stoic expression. “Can I help you?”

“I was looking for Alison.” Tanner looked towards the house.

“She’s not home. She left for school early this morning.” Emily brushed some dirt off of her hands.

She felt a little exposed outside talking to her. She looked around, expecting to see Sara hiding in the bushes watching them with a pair of binoculars.

“That’s too bad.” Tanner’s tongue snapped loudly in her mouth. “I was hoping to speak to her. I thought I might catch her before she left.”

“Sorry.” Emily picked up a pair of gardening sheers and a small shovel and put them in a container. “I can tell her you stopped by.”

“I would appreciate that.” Tanner nodded, her eyes still locked on Emily. “We’ve had an interesting break in the case and I just wanted to update her.”

Emily’s blood ran cold. She wanted to ask what the breakthrough was, but she didn’t want to seem too nosy or desperate. She was trying to appear as inconspicuous as she could. She knew Tanner had it out for her and her friends. She played it cool.

“That’s good.” Emily nodded nonchalantly. “Great.”

“Aren’t you curious to know what we’ve found? I’d think that as the girlfriend of the deceased’s sister you’d have an interest in hearing about our new developments.”

“I’m actually kind of busy right now.” She pointed to the gardening tools. “Besides, I’m sure I’ll hear about it on the news.”

It went against every cell in her body to not grab Tanner by the shoulders and shake her until she sang like a canary. Tanner eyed her, waiting for her to break. Emily didn’t fall in to her trap. In fact, she met Tanner’s gaze with an unyielding expression of her own. Her eyes said it all,

_Try me, bitch._

“Well, I won’t keep you,” Tanner said, an eerie smile on her face. She took in an exaggerated breath through her nose. “Enjoy the fresh air.” Something about the way she said it seemed to have a double meaning, like she wanted to add ‘while you still can’ at the end of it. She started to walk away, but then she snapped her fingers and turned around. She held her index finger up. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Has that glove turned up?”

“Not to my knowledge.” Emily replied.

“That’s a shame.” Tanner faked a frown. “I hope it does. I can’t imagine what happened to it. Can you?”

“No.”

“Did anyone else know about it? Your friends, perhaps?”

“I don’t see why that’s relevant.” Emily could hear Spencer’s legal mumbo jumbo floating around in her head, guiding her on how to maneuver Tanner’s questions.

“You don’t find it the least bit suspicious that something that could have been a key piece of evidence in a murder case just up and disappeared hours after Alison told us about it, especially given that the only people who would have had access to it are you and your friends?”

“What exactly is it that you’re asking me?” Emily crossed her arms and stared at Tanner.

“Just curious.” She shrugged.

“Well, you know what curiosity did to the cat.” The words were out of Emily’s mouth before she could stop herself.

Had she just threatened a federal officer? She had to rein in her temper.

 _Save it for A._ She told herself.

“Careful, Miss Fields.” Tanner glared at her. “Anyone with lesser knowledge of your past might mistake your defensive nature for hostility. Now, I know you’re not the kind of person who would purposefully antagonize others. That being said, I have always thought you girls were guilty in some way.” She paused in thought. “I just never knew how. But I assure you, if you’re hiding something…we will find out.”

“Look, you were wrong about us in high school, and you’re wrong about this.”

She wanted to kick herself. How hard was it to just stay quiet? It’s like the filter in her brain had taken a vacation and left the stupid parts in charge.

Tanner cocked her head and looked at Emily out of the corner of her eyes. Emily glanced away. She decided she was done talking. She’d already said enough. She knew that whatever she said Tanner would just twist and use against her. Tanner sensed that their conversation was over.

“Have a nice day.” Tanner turned and walked away. “Tell Alison I’ll be in touch.”

Emily quickly cleaned up the yard and then went inside. She texted the girls to let them know that Tanner was closing in on something important and that they needed to be careful about not being followed today. The last thing they needed was for Tanner to find them snooping around the dollhouse.

Emily made sure to double check to make sure she wasn’t being tailed when she left the house to meet up with everyone at Spencer’s place. They set out to drive to the remote countryside where they’d once been held hostage, taking two cars. Emily opted to ride with Aria and Ezra so Caleb’s car wouldn’t be overflowing. Aria was jittery and Ezra was uncharacteristically quiet. Emily could tell that they both had a lot on their minds. The car was fairly silent as all three of them dealt with their nerves in their own way.

They had gotten about three-fourths of the way there when Aria’s boss called. That just made Aria’s anxiety worse. Ezra and Emily exchanged a few glances in the rearview mirror as Aria tried not to blow up at her boss. Aria actually breathed a sigh of relief when they went through a dead-zone and her phone dropped the call. Ezra glanced at Aria, a look of remorse on his face.

“Jillian is still all over you about the new pages for the book, isn’t she?” He asked.

“I swear she always zeroes in on me at the worst possible time. It’s like she’s a shark that smells blood.”

Aria had told Emily that she’d been helping Ezra with his novel detailing Nicole’s life, and now subsequently, her death. They’d stalled out a bit after they got the news about Nicole’s body being found, and her boss was not happy with the delay. Aria’s phone rang again and she let out a frustrated whine.

“I think you’re going to have to pull over and let me deal with this. If this call drops again she’ll probably send a Navy SEAL team to hunt us down.”

Ezra slowed the car and pulled off to the side of the road. Aria stepped out to take the call while she still had service. Emily texted the others to let them know what they were doing. Ezra and Emily watched Aria pace the length of the car, throwing her hands around in the air in an animated fashion as she bickered back and forth with Jillian.

“She hasn’t changed one bit,” Ezra said with a soft smile. He traced the outline of his gearshift with his fingers. “Five years ago I never for one second thought we’d end up here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Emily laughed weakly.

“I wish she would have told me sooner you girls were dealing with this again.” Ezra kept his sights on Aria.

“She didn’t want to burden you,” Emily said. Emily knew this, because she’d been trying to protect Ali from it, too.

“You shouldn’t have tried to go through it alone.” He turned around to face her, still making sure that Aria was in his line of sight.

“Yeah, I got the speech from Ali last night.” Emily nodded. “And then again this morning.”

“Wait, Ali didn’t know?” Ezra looked surprised.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “I came clean to her about it yesterday. She about blew a gasket.”

“I’m surprised you’re still breathing.” Ezra chuckled.

“Hell of a thing to say to a heart patient.” Emily gave him a hard time.

The calm expression on his face quickly changed.

“Oh, my God, Emily, I’m so sorry. That must have sounded really insensitive.”

“Relax. I was just kidding.” Emily smiled. “Sarcasm is how I get through my days. Got to find a way to laugh about it to keep from crying.”

“I know what you mean,” he replied. He blinked slowly in thought. “Nicole was the same way.”

Emily flinched hearing her friend’s name. But the amount of sadness she felt had to be nothing compared to what Ezra was going through.

“Ezra,” she said, realizing how far she’d come from not being able to call him anything other than ‘Mr. Fitz’, “I’m sorry about Nicole.”

She saw a flash of grief in his eyes, then he cleared his throat.

“Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “I wish we’d had more time together.”

Emily swallowed back her pain, trying not to consider the impact of his words on her own life.

“I guess it just wasn’t in the cards,” Ezra added. “I was lucky to have her in my life.” He glanced at Emily. “I actually have you to thank for that. I never would have met her had she not come into my shop looking for you.” He laughed softly. “She always did have a knack for timing.”

“That’s something I never learned to master.” Her timing always seemed to suck.

“Me either.” He shrugged. “I keep wondering what would have happened if I’d just stayed in Columbia with her.”

Emily looked away uncomfortably as she thought about how much one act could change someone’s entire life. Fate, kismet, the butterfly effect…whatever it was called, it was hard not to consider how different life could be if just one thing was done differently. Where would she be if she’d stayed in Rosewood? How different would things be?

“I could have protected her or…stopped it from happening. Something.” He frowned.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” Emily gave him a sympathetic look.

Ezra paused in thought and then shook his head.

“No, I know.” He rubbed his eyes. He looked so tired. “It’s just…I look back over everything…and I find myself asking what the point is. Not just with Nicole, but with everything that’s happened here. I mean, everything you girls have been through,” he paused and then corrected himself like a typical writer, “everything you’re _going_ through,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for life to cut us some slack…let us be happy, you know? What kind of world is this?”

“The kind of world where a guy with a Master’s Degree in American Literature would go out to the middle of nowhere for his friends to risk his life chasing after a psychopath,” Emily said.

“Well, I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. I made that mistake once.” He still felt guilty for lying to all of them in high school for the sake of a stupid book he was writing. He’d been so obsessed with getting the scoop that he didn’t realize the severity of the situation until it was too late. He’d burned the book and never looked back, but not before the damage had been done. “I lost sight of my humanity and I screwed you guys over. I let greed and inexperience almost destroy Aria.”

“You were young and stupid,” Emily said with a teasing smile. “And if it makes you feel any better, the manuscript sucked.”

“I deserved that.” He let out a hearty laugh. His smile slowly faded. “This town has taken so much from you girls. I’m not going to let anything else bad happen to her, or to any of you. I lost Nicole. I can’t lose anyone else.”

“Do you ever regret coming to Rosewood?” Emily asked.

Ezra looked thoughtfully at Aria.

“No,” he said. “Despite everything this Godforsaken place has put us through, I couldn’t imagine not having Aria…and the rest of you in my life.”

Aria hung up her phone and then yelled a few curse words at it before climbing back in the car and angrily slamming the door. She kicked her feet in a huff. She looked like a child throwing a tantrum.

“I hate that woman.” She threw her phone into her purse and zipped it closed with gusto.

“Geeze, Aria, you’re like a wind-up rock ‘em, sock ‘em robot.” Emily couldn’t help but laugh.

“Actual size.” Ezra teased.

“Shut up. Both of you.” Aria scowled.

“Wow, save some of that rage for the psychopath torturing us.” Emily suggested. “I have a feeling if we turned you loose on _A_ right now there’d be nothing left for the police to find.”

“Yeah, that’s only if _A_ doesn’t kill us first.”

“Everything is going to be fine,” Ezra assured her.

By the time they got out to the dollhouse Aria had calmed down significantly. When they pulled up they saw Hanna and Spencer standing beside Caleb’s car. Emily checked her phone. It was almost 2 o’clock on the dot. She glanced at a text she’d gotten from Ali.

_“I don’t know who is more defiant. You or my kids. Just pried two lusty teens off of each other’s faces and now they are sitting on opposite ends of the bus moping like I took the batteries out of their cell phones. These kids are going to be the death of me.”_

Emily laughed. Ali was going to be a take-no-prisoners mother one day. Emily adored that. She read the rest of the text:

_“You better be alive, or I’m going to kill you.”_

Emily texted her back to let her know everything was fine and then put her phone in her pocket. Ezra, Aria, and Emily walked over to Spencer and Hanna.

“Toby and Caleb are making sure the perimeter is secure before we go in.” Spencer explained.

“Smart.” Ezra nodded.

“Do you have the key?” Spencer faced Emily.

Emily reached into her pocket and pulled out the key she’d found in Charlotte’s things. It was warm from her body heat. She felt a lump in her throat and she forced it down. They were really here. They were really doing this. They were about to walk into what had once been a prison of horrors. And it had been her brilliant idea to come.

“You said you think you remember the way to that room?” Spencer asked.

Emily nodded. She remembered the layout of that room from when Charlotte…or one of her helpers had dragged her down the hallway and taken her to it. She’d been left chained to a wall under a heat lamp. The key to the chains had been placed in the center of the room, just far enough away that she’d have to struggle against the chains to reach it with her foot. She’d quickly discovered that the chains weren’t just bolted from inside the wall, but they ran all the way into a conjoined room with Aria on the other end of them in the same exact predicament. If she moved, Aria’s chains would tighten, specifically around her neck…and vice-versa. Neither of them had caved, so Charlotte had turned up the heat until Emily passed out and woke up back in her cell.

“I remember a lot more than I wish I did,” Emily muttered. She cleared her throat. “I’m pretty sure I can find my way back there.”

Emily glanced at Aria, wondering if she was thinking the same thing she was about Charlotte’s nasty little games. Aria had taken a step away from the rest of them and was staring at the dollhouse entrance. Emily didn’t like the remote look in her eyes. She thought about how Aria had broken down after they’d escaped from captivity. They had all dealt in their own way. Hanna had tried to change everything in her life, a frantic need to gain back the control she’d lost. Spencer had nearly succumbed to her anxiety and had tried to dull the ache of reality with whatever substance she could get her hands on. Mona had put on a brave front for the sake of her mother, but she couldn’t fool the rest of the girls.

As for Aria, she’d had the hardest time. She’d had a frantic, almost manic, need to close the door on what had happened. She’d been determined to bury herself back into the structure of the real world. It had taken her a little bit longer than the others to fall to pieces, but when she did, she fell…hard. Aria was pretty unshakeable, but when she crashed and burned she could scorch the whole world in her wake. Thinking about that worried Emily. Her protective instincts were screaming at her, setting off all kinds of alarms that she was pulling her friends into a spiraling tailspin.

Emily hadn’t been the only one who noticed that Aria was no longer in their little group pow-wow. Ezra looked at Emily and then his eyes darted over to where Aria was standing. He looked at Emily again with a concerned expression on his face. Ezra walked up behind Aria and started to reach for her hand.

“Aria?” He hesitated for a moment, but then he softly touched her knuckles to draw her out of her daze. It reminded Emily of the way Ali was with her when she was coming out of her night terrors: gentle, reassuring, careful. “Hey, you okay?”

Aria flipped her hand over and gripped his palm tightly. She gave him a not so convincing nod, followed by a very weak, “yes.”

Emily was kicking herself for not just making plans to come up here without the girls. She could have brought Toby, though she would have had to swear him to secrecy lest Spencer find out. If Emily hadn’t been so adamant that they come check it out she could have very easily left the girls out of this unnecessary drama. Standing out here with them felt wrong, like she was drowning and she was pulling them under the current with her. What if their nightmares returned with gusto like hers had? What if this broke one of them? Or all of them?

“I don’t think anyone has been out here for a long time. There’s no sign of the ground being disturbed or any evidence that anything living has been here. I doubt that even the cops have been back since the case was closed.” Caleb walked up behind them. Toby wasn’t far behind. He was carrying a bag over his shoulder.

“I’m surprised it’s not a landmark on some paparazzi bus tour. _And if you look to your left you’ll see the very spot where five Rosewood teens were kept locked up like hamsters_.” Hanna made an overly-dramatic hand gesture like she was showing a bunch of tourists in Hollywood a sightseeing landmark they’d never forget. Their very own little taste of Rosey-wood, complete with Walk of Torture.

“So, who’s the lead sled dog on this Iditarod?” Spencer glanced nervously at the entrance.

Emily rubbed her arm, still gripping the key firmly. She cleared her throat.

“Since this was my idea I’ll go first.” Bile raised in her throat. They were actually going back in there. She fought back the urge to vomit up her lunch.

“That’s not happening.” Toby put his hand on his gun holster. “The day one of you goes headfirst into hell is the day I’m dead, rolling over in my grave, and yelling at you for even suggesting it.”

Spencer and Emily shared an amused smile. Toby was adorable when he was being all serious, like a kitten who thought he was a tiger. But they all knew better than to argue with him.

“I think it would be wise for some of us to stay out here just in case something happens.” Caleb suggested.

“I agree.” Toby nodded. He reached into his bag and started handing out flashlights.

“Well, Toby has the gun. Why don’t you and Ezra stay?” Hanna faced Caleb.

“Hell, no.” Caleb scoffed. “There is no way I’m letting you go down there without me.” He glanced at Toby. “No offense to you or your gun, man.”

“No, I get it.” Toby shrugged, putting his bag down. “But I’m not staying behind either.”

“Now is so not the time to get into a pissing contest.” Spencer rolled her eyes. “This isn’t _Mission Impossible._ We don’t need some highly elaborate scheme. We go in, look for the room with Charlotte’s hidden stash, and then get out as quickly as possible.” She looked over at Ezra and Aria and she suddenly became aware of the pained look on Aria’s face. Spencer softened her tone before she addressed them. “Ezra, you and Aria stay out here and watch our backs.”

Ezra gave Spencer an appreciative nod. Before anyone could argue with her plan, Spencer was heading for the entrance. Toby quickly jogged after her. Emily, Hanna, and Caleb followed. Toby pushed in front of Spencer and he got to the entrance first. He pulled the cellar door open, nearly yanking it off of its rusty hinges. He held a flashlight in one hand and drew his gun out its holster with his other.

“Stay close.” He faced the group and then turned back around.

“Okay, _Kojak_.” Caleb mashed his lips together in an amused smile and followed him.

Spencer, Hanna, and Emily paused at the entrance. They acknowledged each other with a deep understanding and respect for the emotions they were all feeling. They all nodded at one another, a silent show of support to verify that none of them were in this alone. Emily saw the fear in Hanna’s eyes. She watched as Spencer took a big heaving breath. Emily was the first one to follow the boys. Spencer and Hanna followed her.

Toby holstered his weapon and checked the ladder that led down into the dollhouse to make sure it wasn’t going to collapse beneath their weight. He hated how well he knew the place. He’d been inside several times after the girls had been found because he’d been on the team that was part of the investigation. He carefully climbed down, and once he was sure it was safe he called up to Caleb and the girls. Caleb went down next, followed by Emily, then Hanna and Spencer. Caleb and Toby were on either side of the ladder when they got to the bottom to help them get their footing.

When they got down to the ground level they stopped to catch their breath. The dollhouse looked almost identical to what it had looked like in Emily’s nightmare. It was dark and dusty. The floor was covered with debris and the walls were black, cracked and peeling from the fire damage. Emily aimed her flashlight at the floor and saw a worn piece of police tape. Most of the lettering had faded, but she could still make out the “O” and “L” in the word “Police”. She heard the walls creaking and settling, and suddenly she was back in her dream. A wave of uneasiness wafted over her and she shuddered. The light from her flashlight tracked along the wall in an unsteady motion, casting shaky shadows all over the place. Caleb turned around and noticed that Emily had stopped. Hanna and Spencer stopped when they reached her side.

“Hey, Toby, hold up.” Caleb called out to Toby, who was a few paces ahead of him. “Emily?” He reached his hand out to steady her flashlight. “Look, if it’s too hard being here, we can go back.”

‘No.” Emily suppressed her anxiety. “No, we’re already here. We might as well keep going.”

“Are you sure?” Hanna touched her arm, her fingers trembling.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. She glanced at Spencer. “Like Spence said, we’ll be in and out.”

Spencer nodded encouragingly. Hanna looped her arm around Emily’s right arm and Spencer curled her hand around Emily’s left bicep.

“We’re off to see the wizard.” Spencer muttered under her breath. Emily and Hanna laughed.

“Wonder if I can get a new heart.” Emily tried to laugh, but it came out more as a nervous gurgle.

Spencer let out an uncomfortable breath and Hanna tightened her hold on Emily’s arm. After a second, they both relaxed.

“Personally, I just want to throw a bucket of water on this new wicked witch and go home.” Hanna grumbled.

“We have to find out who her flying monkeys are first,” Spencer said, her voice dripping with cynicism. “Did Ali have any ideas?”

“She hasn’t had that much time to process it yet,” Emily replied, biting her lip.

“How’d she take it?” Hanna asked.

“She threatened extreme violence against Sara Harvey. Then she called me an idiot.” Emily gave them a summary.

“Sounds about right.” Hanna pushed her bottom lip out and nodded.

“Did she have _anything_ relevant to add about who may be doing this? Or who Charlotte could have possibly roped into helping her?” Spencer asked.

“No. She seems pretty convinced it’s Sara. She was surprised there was someone else involved. But she said Charlotte knew a lot of guys who would have moved heaven and earth for her. Charlotte never mentioned anyone named Xan though.”

“Maybe it was a code name,” Hanna said.

They stopped when they reached the end of the hallway. Toby and Caleb looked at Emily for direction. She pulled away from Spencer’s and Hanna’s death grips and walked up to the boys. She looked around, seeing images of what the hallways had looked like before they were covered in dirt and soot. She saw flashing lights in her mind when she looked to her left. She motioned to the empty corridor.

“That way.”

They walked through the twisted maze of the dollhouse until they reached the room the girls had seen on the video. Toby carefully put his hand on the door, like he was afraid it might explode if he touched it in the wrong place. He put his arm up and glanced back at the girls, motioning for them to stay back. Caleb ignored his commands and walked up beside Toby. He grabbed the knob and twisted.

“What are you doing? This place could be rigged to blow up or something.” Toby growled.

“You were out here when they stripped this place clean.” Caleb rolled his eyes at Toby’s overreaction.

“That was years ago!”

Caleb pushed the door open. Something in the room darted towards them.

“Watch out!” Toby lurched forward and aimed his gun at their attacker. A rat came scurrying out between his feet. Toby gasped and danced around, almost dropping his flashlight.

“My hero,” Caleb said sarcastically.

They walked into the room. It wasn’t nearly as damaged as the rest of the building. The sprinkler system had managed to stop the flames from spreading to this space. That strengthened the theory that this room meant something to Charlotte. There was something important here. Emily walked past Toby and Caleb. Sure enough, along the edge of the wall was a cement panel just like she’d seen in the video.

“Wow, Em, you’re more accurate than my GPS.” Hanna looked around the room.

“Is this it?” Toby walked up beside Emily, shining his flashlight against the wall.

“I think so.” Emily ran her fingers along the wall, looking for a crack, an imperfection. “Bingo.” She finally found the false stone.

She wiggled the rock with her fingers until it slid out of its slot. She grabbed the key from her pocket and looked at it, saying a silent prayer that it would work and that they hadn’t come out here for nothing. She lifted her shaky hand up to the lock and to her relief, the key slid right in. She turned the lock and pulled and they heard a click. The door to the hidden wall safe opened. Everyone gathered around it, eager to see what was inside. Emily pulled out a stack of money and a bunch of papers bound together by an industrial sized rubber band.

“What is all that?” Spencer leaned over Emily’s shoulder trying to get a closer look.

“A quick getaway plan, maybe?” Emily saw a passport shoved in between some of the papers. She pulled the rubber band free and pulled out the passport. She opened it and saw Charlotte staring back her. She saw the same neat handwriting she’d seen in Charlotte’s belongings swirling across the first page under her photo and the name “Cece Drake”. She flipped through the pages and saw that Cece had gone to Italy, England, France, Spain, and the Czech Republic.

“Well, it’s nice to know that she was able to get away from torturing us long enough to enjoy a leisurely vacation.” Spencer spit with an angry tone.

Emily closed the passport and started shuffling through some of the papers.

“Wait a second. There’s a second passport here.” Emily noticed. The cover was missing and half of the first page had been ripped out. The photo was missing, but the name was still intact. Emily gasped when she saw the name.

_Alexander Drake._

She saw a slab of folded up paper sticking out of the back of the passport and pulled it free. She opened the paper and her eyes widened. It was a wedding certificate.

“You guys, I don’t think ‘Cece Drake’ was just some made up name.” She held up the passport and the certificate for her friends to see.

“Alexander and Cece Drake?” Spencer gasped as she ran her fingers over the page. “Charlotte was married?”

“Who would marry her? She was Satan in heels.” Hanna snapped.

“Look at the date.” Caleb pointed out. “She married this guy long before she made Rosewood her own personal dollhouse.”

“I think we just found a motive for someone wanting to know who killed Charlotte,” Toby said.

Love was as strong a motive as any for revenge, especially if this person had been involved in the torture from the very beginning. Emily thought back to all the times she’d been manhandled by _A_. All this time she’d thought it was Charlotte, but she’d had help. She thought of Nate. Not the real Nate, but the Nate she’d seen on the video. Those cold eyes sent shivers up her spine. Then she flinched remembering the time a warm sweaty hand had grabbed her by the back of the neck when she’d escaped her restraints. There had been something cold and hard pressed into her skin.

A wedding ring.

 _Alexander Drake._ Her mind was processing the name. Xander. Xan.

“He was here.” Emily slowly turned around and looked at the room. “He was here helping her this whole time.”

“Why couldn’t Charlotte and her husband just have done normal marital activities?” Hanna grumbled. “Cook dinner together? Go to the movies? Go on vacation?”

“They did all that, Han. They just penciled it in between our shock therapy sessions.” Spencer snatched the passport out of Emily’s hand.

Emily could feel Spencer’s body shaking in rage. Spencer started flipping through the pages looking for more clues. Hanna curiously peered in the safe to see if she saw anything else inside. Near the back was another bundle of cash. She pulled it out, looked at it, shrugged, and put it in her pocket.

“Hanna, you can’t keep that.” Toby frowned.

“Why not? It’s not like Charlotte can use it now. Plus, we deserve a little compensation for the hell she put us through.”

“It’s evidence.” Toby argued.

“The cops don’t know it exists. No one would have known if it wasn’t for Emily.” She motioned towards Emily.

“But we have real evidence now. We can take this to Tanner…”

“Are you serious?” Spencer half-snapped, half-laughed. “That woman wants to see us behind bars.”

“Spence…”

“Spencer’s right.” Emily interrupted Toby. “Tanner came by to interrogate me today. She said something about new evidence. She was very smug about it.”

Toby opened his mouth to reply, but a noise from down the hallway startled them all. Toby quickly paced to the doorway. He cautiously assessed their surroundings.

“See anything?” Caleb asked.

“No.” Toby shook his head. “It was probably another rat.”

“Ugh, let’s get out of here.” Hanna shivered.

It didn’t take them long to get to the exit. By the time they climbed to the top of the ladder and were out the cellar door they were all riding high on adrenaline. Toby’s phone rang, making everyone jump. Emily felt her heart leap into her throat. Toby looked at his phone with twisted confusion. He answered, but couldn’t hear who was on the other line. He put his finger in his ear and walked away, trying to get a better connection. Emily took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Aria and Ezra rushed over to them.

“What happened?” Aria asked.

Emily wordlessly handed the marriage certificate over to Aria. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head.

“Is this real?”

“Whoever came after me at Ali’s and left that trail of gingerbread for us to follow knew this existed.” Emily nodded.

“I don’t understand. I thought _A_ was the one who attacked you? Why would they want you to find this?”

“I don’t think our gloved assailant is _A_. Whoever that was wanted me to know the attack was real. They want us to know who _A_ is.”

“You think _A_ has someone working against them?” Aria pursed her lips in thought. She couldn’t help but give the idea some thought. After all, Emily had been right about a third person being involved and she was right about watching the video of the dollhouse.

“The enemy of our enemy is our friend.” Spencer stated.

“Guys, we’ve got to go.” Toby jogged over to them, out of breath. “That was Lorenzo.” He looked at Emily with a hint of fear in his eyes. Her heart froze in her chest. Something was wrong.

“Toby, what is it?” She squeaked, terrified of what the answer was going to be.

“I don’t know all the details yet, but there was an accident back in town.”

“What kind of accident?” Emily’s voice caught in her throat.

“There was a wreck involving a school bus…”

“Isn’t Ali on a field trip with her students today?” Aria tightly grabbed Emily’s arm with wide eyes.

“It was Ali’s bus.” Toby confirmed it. “Lorenzo is on his way to the scene.”

Emily barely heard anything after that. Her hearing became distorted. He said something about a possible fatality. Emily groaned. Her body felt heavy. She felt her stomach bundle into a huge knot. She felt around in her pocket for her phone, desperate to see a snarky message from Ali. The last exchange between them was the conversation about her being on the bus with her mopey kids. As Emily was composing a new message, begging Ali to let her know she was okay, her phone bleated, alerting her to a new text.

_“I warned you to keep your mouth shut, but you threw me under the bus. Payback is a bitch.”_

Emily dropped her phone. She felt the blood drain from her face. Her knees started to shake and she felt herself sinking. Spencer quickly leaned forward and grabbed her to keep her from collapsing on to the ground. Toby helped Spencer keep her upright. Emily couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. She felt like her world was going dark, and without Ali to keep her from disappearing into the void she was helpless to do anything to stop it.


	25. Shock and Awe

She remembered reaching for her phone. She remembered her shaking fingers dialing Ali’s number. And she remembered the call going straight to voicemail. Then she’d sent a pleading text:

_“Are you okay? Please call me.”_

After that, Emily zoned out. She wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. Her phone slid out of her hands again. She saw Hanna close to her face, reaching her hand out to her cheek and asking if she was okay. Emily managed to nod. Her ears were ringing and her vision started to blur. She blinked several times and when she looked down she saw the ground moving beneath her feet. Her movements didn’t feel real to her. She was walking towards the car, Spencer gripping her arm to help her from stumbling and falling. Then she blinked again and everything was different. They were driving down the road. She heard someone talking to her, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. She couldn’t answer either.

Everything felt like it was happening in slow-motion, like she was living in quicksand. One minute she was looking out the front windshield of Caleb’s car watching the road disappear underneath the hood, and the next…her entire world started to fade away. She felt blank. Empty. For a few seconds, maybe it was longer…she wasn’t sure where she was or how she got there. Then the floodgates opened and everything came rushing back to her. All of _A_ ’s threats. The phone call about the accident. Alison.

_Oh, God. Ali._

Emily moaned and fell forward. The only thing preventing her from collapsing in between the floorboard and the center console was the seatbelt across her lap. She snapped back so suddenly that she could feel the whiplash in her neck.

“Whoa, easy.” She heard Toby gasp out a surprised breath.

“I – I think I’m…” But Emily couldn’t finish her thought. Her mouth felt thick, frozen. She slid down against the seat, her body suddenly feeling too heavy to support. She felt herself falling to the right, against Spencer.

“Em?” She felt Toby’s hand on her arm.

“What’s happening to her?” Spencer choked out.

Emily’s neck felt strained. Her head was throbbing, a dull ache radiating through her temples. She could hear her friends talking over her, but she was having trouble pulling herself out of her muddled mind to reply.

“Hanna! Hanna, stop, pull over!” Aria cried.

“Oh my God.” Spencer huffed.

“Emily?” Toby tried to rouse her.

Emily felt her body shake gently. There was an eerie moment of silence, and for a second Emily thought she’d died.

“We need to elevate her feet.” Toby quickly took charge.

She heard shuffling. Something clicked, and she realized it was someone unbuckling her seatbelt. Emily felt them moving her. She didn’t resist. She couldn’t even if she wanted to. She felt the car stop moving. Someone was stroking her cheek.

“What…what do we do? Do we call an ambulance?” Spencer asked, her voice strained. The backs of her fingers were pressed against Emily’s face, gently moving across her jaw.

“No.” Toby had his hand on Emily’s wrist right below her heart monitor. “No. She’s okay.” And then he looked down at Emily and tried to calm her. “You’re okay, Em. Everything is okay.”

“Toby…” Spencer’s tone wavered in uncertainty.

“Just give her a minute. She’s in shock,” Toby explained. “The news about the wreck must have hit her harder than we thought.”

“God, she’s going to pass out…” Was that Hanna?

“No, she’s not,” Toby said, his voice stern, but caring. “Emily, just concentrate on your breathing.”

Toby seemed to be the only one who knew what was going on. Emily was glad he was here to take the lead, not just for her sake, but for her friends, too. They needed that calm authoritative presence, especially in situations like this. Sometimes they got so close to falling over the ledge that they needed someone like Toby to pull them back from the brink. God bless her favorite drinking buddy.

Emily felt a gentle pressure on her hand.

“Deep breaths, Em.” It was Aria. Her voice sounded muffled, like she was speaking to Emily from underwater.

“Toby, are you sure she’s okay? She looks pale.” Spencer again.

It was evident that they were having flashes to the day at the loft. Emily wanted to tell them she was fine. She wasn’t dying. But she couldn’t. Her voice seized in her throat. It’s like her mind wasn’t communicating with her body. She felt like she was outside of herself watching all of this unfold. Her body tensed up and her teeth started chattering. She drew her free hand up from her side and held it a few inches above her chest. She could feel it shaking. Spencer immediately grabbed her trembling hand, curling her fingers around her palm and cupping it close to her body, trying to steady Emily. She could feel Spencer’s heart beating wildly against her knuckles. Emily squeezed Aria’s fingers firmly with her other hand.

“She’s shivering,” Aria said. “Hanna, turn the heat on.”

A few seconds later Emily felt a blast of hot air gushing over her body.

“Here, cover her with this.” Hanna pulled Caleb’s jacket out from in between the seat and her back.

Toby unzipped the jacket and used it to cover Emily’s midsection up to her neck. She could smell a mixture of aftershave and pine wafting into her nose. She had never realized how outdoorsy Caleb smelled. There was a hint of Hanna’s perfume on it, too. She could really feel the heat starting to roll over her body. She felt like she was sinking.

“She’s crashing. Look, I’m not a doctor, but I know this can’t be good for her heart. How long do we let this go on before we call someone?” Spencer asked.

“Just…let her breathe.” Toby’s voice was calm and controlled. He’d gone into “cop” mode. “She’ll come out of it.” He assured the girls.

Thoughts were swirling around in Emily’s head faster than she could process them. She should have been more careful in telling Ali about _A_. She should have heeded the warnings. Ali had been obsessively worrying about Emily when it should have been the other way around. She should have stayed by Ali’s side. This was her fault. She’d caused this. She’d pissed _A_ off, and now an entire bus full of innocent people were paying the price.

“Em?” Hanna’s voice broke the silence. “Talk to us. Please…”

Emily blinked. Had her eyes been open this whole time? She moved her head slowly and let her eyes relax. When her vision returned to normal she saw Spencer staring down at her. Emily’s head was in her lap, her fingers running through Emily’s hair. Emily glanced down and saw that the backs of her thighs were up against Toby’s right leg. He had one arm underneath her knees, elevating her legs slightly. Her feet were pressed up against the door. It took her a minute to realize she was in the back of Caleb’s car. Hanna was in the driver’s seat, twisted around and peering at her with very anxious eyes. Aria was in the passenger’s seat, leaning over the console, her hand squeezing Emily’s.

“Ali…” Emily uttered, barely recognizing her own voice. She had to know what was going on with Ali. She needed to know. “The bus. Is she…” The thought that _A_ had put an entire bus full of kids in jeopardy just to send her a message made her head spin.

“We don’t know anything for sure yet.” Toby put his free hand on her arm. Something about his touch was reassuring. She trusted Toby. She always had. “Lorenzo is going to call us as soon as he knows something.”

Or he wouldn’t call, because it wasn’t common police practice to tell the family member over the phone that their loved one had died in a wreck.

 _Ali is not dead._ She told herself. She couldn’t be. They were supposed to start their adventures together after they escaped from the darkness in Rosewood.

Emily couldn’t stop thinking about the kids on that bus and how terrified they were…and how terrified their parents must be. What had _A_ done? How bad was it? Were the kids okay? Was Ali hurt? If _A_ was willing to go that far to hurt her and Ali, what was this person going to do to them next?

In a twisted sense of morbidity, Emily felt herself longing for the days when Mona was _A_. She would give anything to pour out a tub of take-out Chinese and find it filled with worms instead of rice or get a doppelganger doll version of herself complete with a voice-box that bossed her around. Anything was better than this. God, how screwed up was she that she was trying to bargain her way down from this level of torture to horrors she was more comfortable with? Why was it so normal to feel okay with the crap she’d endured when she was a teenager?

 _Jesus, get ahold of yourself._ Emily snapped at herself.

She hadn’t felt this weak since high school. Hadn’t she spent years working to overcome this vulnerability, refusing to become the victim again? She’d broken free from the restraints keeping her weighed down in a cloud of fear and doubt and she’d tackled life with a bullheaded fierceness that molded her into a version of herself that she could truly be proud of. Since when did she fall apart so easily again?

Of course the answer was blatantly obvious.

Since she’d let her walls down with Ali. Since she’d let herself love her, and be loved in return. Sometimes Emily was afraid of how much they loved one another. She was afraid, because of very moments like this…moments where the gravity of never seeing Ali again sent her into a place so dark and so terrifying that the real world didn’t exist anymore.

Emily squeezed her eyes shut and pushed her fears down. She buried the pain deep, deeper than she thought possible. She knew she couldn’t crumble. She couldn’t break. Not now. If she fell apart right now, _A_ won. _A_ didn’t get to do this. _A_ didn’t get to take away the one good thing she had going in her life. She couldn’t let herself be controlled like this. She felt her chest rising and falling in slow even breaths. Slowly, but surely, her senses started returning to her.

She licked her lips, her eyes still closed, and let out a deep breath. She felt hot. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage.

“We have to…” Emily stuttered. “I have to…”

“You have to what?” Spencer leaned forward.

There was a beat, an anxious pause. The car was silent.

“Turn the damn heat off.” Emily’s mouth felt dry from the hot air. “I feel like I’m _The Human Torch_ back here.”

“Oh, thank God. I’ve got sweat running down the crack of my ass.” Hanna reached forward and cranked the heat down.

Emily stirred, shifting her weight above Spencer and Toby. She felt Spencer’s hand on the back of her head. She tried to pull her feet down.

“Take it slow.” Toby warned her.

Emily let go of her friends’ hands and carefully pushed herself up. Spencer’s arms hovered underneath her, ready to help if Emily needed it. Thankfully, she didn’t need it. She put her shaky palms flat against the seat in between Toby and Spencer and put her feet on the floorboard. She leaned forward, her shoulders dropped, and she took several quick breaths. Her arms were trembling. Her muscles ached. She felt like she’d been swimming laps. She looked up and saw that all eyes were on her.

“Sorry. I…” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to explain how she was feeling. She pulled her shoulders back and cleared her throat, trying to put on a brave face. “I don’t know what came over me. I…uh…I shouldn’t have…um…” She brushed her fingers through her hair, nervous to have them all staring at her.

“Shouldn’t have _what_? Expressed human emotion?” Aria’s eyebrows pinched together, half in concern and half in confusion. She couldn’t believe that Emily was trying to apologize for something she had no control over. “There’s not one person in this car that hasn’t been in shock before.”

“Yeah, hello? I went full on _Nell_ and ended up in Radley. Remember?” Spencer agreed.

“I know. I just…I’ve already put you guys through so much. I didn’t mean to add to it. I feel really bad…”

“Okay, the next time you apologize I’m going to smack you.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

Emily couldn’t help but smile. Hanna would totally do it, too. In fact, Emily was surprised that Hanna hadn’t leaped on top of her when she went into shock and started slapping her face to try and bring her out of it.

“Sor…” Emily stopped herself when she realized she was getting ready to apologize for apologizing.

Hanna glared at her, daring her to say it. Emily didn’t. Toby’s phone beeped. Everyone stared at him. Emily’s eyes darted towards the noise. He apprehensively glanced at the screen. Emily considered yanking it away from him to see what it was.

“Is it Lorenzo?” Emily asked hopefully.

“Uh…no.” Toby pushed his lips together tightly. “It’s just a traffic alert.”

“Don’t lie to me.” She was afraid that he was trying to keep her from going back into shock and that he was withholding information from her.

“I’m not. I promise.”

“Then let me see.”

“Emily…”

“Toby,” she argued back.

He reluctantly showed her his phone, and she saw that he was telling the truth. There was a little red triangle with an exclamation point in the center notifying travelers that there was an accident. She read the message that came along with the alert.

_Accident. Road closure at Van Allen and West Street. Seek alternate route._

Emily swallowed hard. They only closed the roads if there was a death.

 _Keep it together._ Emily clenched her jaw.

“What is it?” Hanna could see the concern on Emily’s face.

“They closed Van Allen Street and West Street.” Spencer answered for Emily.

“That…that doesn’t mean anything. I’m sure she’s fine.” Hanna rambled nervously. She didn’t know what to say to make Emily feel better, so she just blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. “I mean, she has to be, right? She’s Ali. You know her. She’s tough. She’s got more lives than a cat. The girl was buried alive and survived…”

“Shut up, Hanna,” Spencer snapped through her teeth.

“What? I’m just saying, she’s still standing after everything she’s been through. No way she’s…” Hanna looked at Emily’s face and instantly regretted having such a big mouth.

“Where’s my phone?” Emily felt around for her cell phone. The last place she’d seen it was on the ground outside the dollhouse.

“I’ve got it.” Aria handed it to her.

Emily looked. Still no texts from Ali. She tried calling and it went straight to voicemail again. She slammed it against the seat in frustration, tears burning her eyes. She took a few deep breaths.

“I need some air.” Emily gulped.

Toby rolled the window down and motioned for her to switch seats with him. He pushed up, his hands against the roof of the car, and let Emily slide behind him until she was up against the door. He took her spot in the middle. Emily leaned out the window and felt a gentle breeze. But it wasn’t enough. She felt herself beginning to panic, and out of fear that she’d collapse again she started pawing at the door handle. She shoved the door open with force, nearly falling out head first.

“Emily, wait.” Hanna frantically reached for her own door handle.

Emily stumbled out of the car and slammed the door shut. She felt sick to her stomach. Her head was swimming. Toby had been right about moving too fast. Hanna grabbed Emily’s arm just as she fell back against the side of the car. After a few seconds Emily was able to catch her breath. She pushed herself off of the car.

“You good?” Hanna asked.

Emily nodded wordlessly and pulled her arm free from Hanna’s grasp. She took a step forward and craned her neck up, shoving her nose into the air to take a deep breath. She took in as much air as her lungs could possibly hold and then slowly brought her head down as she exhaled. She leaned over, putting her hands against her knees. She heard a car whiz by them, the wind from its wake blowing a heavy breeze against them. She stared at the pavement, taking deep heaving breaths, trying not to scream…or cry. She felt Hanna’s hand on her back. After a couple of minutes she stood upright and looked at her phone once more. Still nothing.

“Em, we should go.” Hanna tried to coax her back towards the car.

“Yeah.” Emily stared at her phone with a dull feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Okay.”

She climbed back in the car without saying another word and they got back on the road. Aria called Ezra to let them know they were almost back in town. Caleb and Ezra were heading to Ezra’s place to do some research on Alexander Drake. With Ezra’s journalistic contacts and Caleb’s tech software they were convinced they could find something on him fairly quickly.

The girls hit traffic as soon as they got back into Rosewood. Cars were backed up on the road for what felt like miles. Since Lorenzo wasn’t answering his phone, Toby called the station to see if he could get an update. They didn’t have any new information. Toby tried the school next. Hackett told him that they were still waiting on the word on injuries and fatalities. He didn’t have any information on any of the students or the chaperones. Toby knew they wouldn’t get anywhere near the scene of the accident, so he suggested they check the hospital to see if Ali was there. They crept along at a snail’s pace, Emily fretting the entire time. She started to get road rage, but she kept it to herself.

“How are you doing?” Aria glanced back at Emily.

Her head hurt, but she felt okay. She rubbed her left temple and slowly blinked her eyes.

“I’d be better if we weren’t sitting in a parking lot.” Emily mumbled. “What is taking so long?” She asked impatiently, looking at the line of cars in front of them.

“We’ll get there, Em.” Hanna glanced in the rearview mirror.

“We’d get there faster if we walked,” she muttered, massaging a tense spot above her right eye.

Then suddenly, something registered in her brain. The roads were closed. But there were other forms of transportation. She looked out the window.

“It’s only a couple of blocks to the hospital, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, like I said, we’ll get there.” Hanna nodded.

But Emily wasn’t going to wait any longer. She unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of the car before anyone could stop her.

“Emily!” Toby yelled out the window. “You shouldn’t…”

“I’ll call you if I find anything out!” Emily called back.

He yelled something about not getting herself worked up, but she didn’t hear him. She was already on her way. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to find when she got there. Maybe Ali was hurt. Or maybe she wasn’t there at all.

By the time Emily got to the hospital she was covered in sweat and shaking from head to toe. She raced into the Emergency Room, her eyes scanning the waiting room. She went up to the desk and tried to get information, but the receptionists were slammed and they couldn’t tell her anything. She paced the waiting room, trying to figure out what to do. She glanced over and saw a familiar face. Not the face she wanted to see, but a familiar face nonetheless.

“Elliott?” His presence worried her. What if someone had called him about Ali? What if she _was_ hurt…or worse?

He looked up, frazzled. His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked visibly upset. She felt her heart thumping in her chest.

“Emily?” He seemed just as confused by her presence.

“What are you doing here?” Emily asked, hoping that he wasn’t about to say what she was afraid he might say.

He looked at the ground before he looked back up at her.

 _Speak, damn it!_ She wanted to scream.

“One of my patients was brought here after she OD’d this afternoon.” He ran his hand over his chin.

Emily felt herself relax. Then she felt guilty for feeling relief. But at least it wasn’t bad news about Ali.

“I just got the word that she didn’t make it. Now I have to tell her kids.”

That felt like a sucker-punch to Emily. No wonder Elliott looked drained. The man really did seem to care about his patients. It had to suck to be a doctor and have to deal with loss and grief on a daily basis.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Was that a nervous inflection she heard in his tone? “Is everything okay with…” He motioned towards her heart monitor.

“Oh, yeah, no. I’m fine.” Emily nodded, a little surprised that he actually cared about her. Had she misjudged Doctor Doom? “I’m…” She looked around, afraid she might miss seeing a glimpse of Ali. “I’m actually looking for Ali. You haven’t seen her have you? She was on a field trip with her students today and the bus she was on had a wreck.”

“Ali was in a wreck?” His head snapped up. “Is she hurt?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Emily looked at the reception area. “You don’t happen to have privileges here, do you?”

Elliott stood up, already a step ahead of her.

“Let me see what I can find out.” He glanced at her, taking in her appearance. He didn’t have to be a cardiologist to see that she her circulatory system was working overtime. “Why don’t you sit down?”

“I’m good.” Emily declined his advice. She had way too much nervous energy to sit still.

He frowned in disapproval, but didn’t push her. He walked over to the reception desk and talked to the girl on duty for a few minutes. Emily stood on the balls of her feet in anticipation when she saw him turn and walk back towards her.

“Anything?” Emily asked.

“I didn’t get much, unfortunately. They have had a lot of MVCs…Motor Vehicle Collision victims come through here today. She said there were several that came in from the bus crash. A lot of them are underage, so they’re being really tight-lipped about sharing information.”

Emily felt sick to her stomach. Those poor kids. Elliott paused, seemingly having the same thought as Emily. Or maybe he was just thinking about the kids of his OD patient. His face tightened and Emily felt weak. She knew that look. He had bad news. He was just trying to figure out how to say it.

“I asked if there were any adults brought in…” He trailed off nervously. He shuffled his feet and lowered his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She said wasn’t entirely sure, but that she thought so. She didn’t have the details, but…the person was DOA.”

Emily dug her nails into her thigh. Her vision flashed white for a split second. She thought she might collapse again. But then she pulled herself together.

“Elliott…” Her voice cracked, “I have to find her. Please. I have to know that she’s okay.”

Elliott nodded in understanding. His brow creased in thought and after a minute he seemed to have an idea.

“A friend of mine heads the EMT department. I’ll see if the first responders know anything.”

He grabbed his phone and dialed a number. He chatted with someone for a few minutes, a serious look on his face. He nodded and listened intently as the person responded. After he hung up he sighed and shook his head.

“They don’t have a record of an Alison DiLaurentis, but they said a few of the victims were unconscious and they don’t have names on everyone yet.”

“Doctor Rollins?” A voice called from across the lobby.

They both turned, hoping it was someone that could give them answers about Ali. Instead, Emily saw a young man who couldn’t have been older than 18 standing next to a girl who was probably around 11.

“Emily, I’m so sorry. I have to go. Those are my patient’s kids.” He nodded to acknowledge the young man. “Please, call me as soon as you know anything.”

She watched him walk over to the young man. She felt an outpouring of sympathy for the boy and his little sister. Their lives were never going to be the same again. She knew what it was like to get earth shattering news about the loss of a loved one. She suddenly had a flash to the day she’d gotten the news about her dad. She’d slid down into the floor of the science building office at Pepperdine, phone still in hand, and turned into a trembling mess of tears on the ground. She’d sobbed so hard she hyperventilated. She vaguely remembered the receptionist scurrying next to her to comfort her. Had she ever thanked that woman for her kindness?

Emily pulled her phone out so she could try calling Ali again. She had three missed calls, all from Spencer. She had several texts, too…ranging from worried to angry. She knew they were pissed at her for taking off. She texted them to let them know she was at the ER, but that she didn’t know anything. She looked around the waiting room again and sighed. Every single person here was in pain, whether it was a physical ailment they were here to be treated for, or if it was a loved one waiting on news about someone they cared about being here. She would take the physical pain over the emotional pain any day.

She was about to give up hope when she heard someone shout her name across the lobby. She looked up and saw Elliott waving at her. She pushed her way through the crowd to get to him, her eyes anxious. She saw the son of Elliott’s OD patient go into a room behind them. She could only imagine what was going through that poor boy’s mind. She sympathized. Losing a parent at any age was hard, but losing a parent so suddenly and at such a young age…it was a bitter pill to swallow. She knew this because she was still choking on her dad’s death.

“What’s up?” Emily asked Elliott eagerly.

“I just saw Ali get on the elevator down the hall.” His voice was full of relief. “I wasn’t able to get her attention, but I was able to flag down a nurse to find out where she was going. The nurse said she’s been with one of her kids in pediatrics. She’s probably been there the whole time. They’re on a different system than the ER. It’s probably why it was so hard to get information on the crash.”

Emily felt a wave of relief flood her body.

“Where…”

“Third floor.” He nodded towards the elevator.

“Thank you, Elliott. Thank you so much.” She gave him an appreciative smile and then ran towards the elevator.

It didn’t take her long to get there. She would have rushed up the stairs if the elevator hadn’t already been open and waiting for her. It was one thing to hear that Ali was alive, but Emily wouldn’t be satisfied until she was holding her in her arms. She found the signs directing her to pediatrics and dashed down the hallways as fast as her legs would carry her. She turned a corner and almost bowled someone over. It was only when she looked down into her familiar cerulean eyes that she realized it was the exact person she was looking for.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily grabbed Ali’s neck gently with her hands and looked her over. She was okay, or at least she appeared to be.

“Emily?” Ali looked startled to see her.

Emily couldn’t help herself as she pulled Ali’s face towards her lips and gave her a hard kiss on the forehead.

“Ali, thank God.” She repeated, every ounce of fear she’d felt dissolved into nothingness. She wrapped her arms around the back of Ali’s neck and pulled her in for a hug.

“What are you…” Ali pulled back and looked at the beads of sweat on Emily’s face. “Jesus Christ, Em, did you _run_ here?” She put her palm against Emily’s neck, her thumb resting on Emily’s pulse point. She could feel Emily’s heart racing. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Traffic was stalled because of the accident.” Emily brought her hands back up to the sides of Ali’s face, her fingers grazing the bottom of Ali’s jaw, peering at her closely, looking for injuries. She looked perfect to Emily. “It was only a couple of blocks…”

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” Ali pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down in concern. Emily’s pulse was way too fast for her liking.

“I thought…” Emily couldn’t bring herself to say it. She didn’t want to think about the turmoil she’d felt when Toby got that call. “I tried calling you.”

A flash of realization washed across Ali’s face. Everything had been so hectic after the wreck, and Ali’s first concern had been her kids. She’d let the other chaperones take care of the uninjured students and she’d jumped into an ambulance with one of her frightened kids without even thinking about grabbing her things.

“Oh, crap. I should have called you,” Ali said, her eyes teeming with regret. “My phone is still on the bus. I – I’m sorry.” No wonder Emily was so freaked out.

“Are you okay?” There were tears in Emily’s eyes, equal parts relief that Ali was okay and anger that _A_ had done this to her and her students.

“I’m fine. The doctor says I might be a little sore tomorrow, but I already took an anti-inflammatory. I was one of the lucky ones. I landed on the yoga mats we brought for the kids to use during one of the star-gazing exhibits.”

“They told me there was a fatality.” Emily looked away in discomfort.

Ali nodded solemnly. Emily felt a surge of anger flowing through her veins. _A_ had killed someone. Someone completely innocent. It was one thing to torment them, but this person was pulling people who had done nothing wrong into their sick game. This jackass was going after kids. That really pissed Emily off. When she found out who this person was she was going to pulverize them.

“What happened?” Emily asked softly. She couldn’t contain herself as a whimper escaped her lips. “Please tell me it wasn’t one of your kids.”

“No,” Ali said, her voice shaking. “It was the bus driver. After the accident he had a heart attack.”

A heart attack. It _had_ to be a heart related death. No irony lost there. That’s not something that even _A_ could have planned. That was like the universe giving Emily the middle finger for everything she’d done wrong in her life.

“Ali, I’m so sorry.” Emily took a moment to be grateful that Hanna wasn’t here to hear her apologizing, because she’d make good on her promise and would probably hit her. “I can’t even imagine…”

“I guess all things considered it could have been worse,” Ali said quietly.

“Are your kids okay?”

“Four were brought here. I came with them because I didn’t want them to be alone,” Ali explained.

It made sense that she was thinking about her students. Emily was in awe of the beauty of Ali’s kindness. It made her appear even more stunning to her.

“Two were released to their parents already. They just had minor injuries. The third has a concussion. They want to keep her for the night. We’re still waiting on her parents to get here. And Luke…” Ali glanced down the hallway. Emily remembered how Ali had spoken fondly of her mischievous little trouble-maker when she’d visited her at school. “He doesn’t have the best home life. Absentee dad and a real piece of work for a mother. I know how that feels,” she muttered. “They were able to get ahold of his aunt, but she’s six hours away. He freaked out a little when he found out he had to have surgery for the breaks in his arm. I told him I’d stay with him until his aunt gets here.”

Of course Ali would volunteer to stay with her scared kids. She had a fiercely protective maternal instinct. She bitched about her students, but she was very vigilant when it came to looking out for them. Ali had once told Emily she wasn’t sure where she acquired the guardian role, because she was certain it wasn’t from her mother. Emily told her she’d always been one of the most devoted women she knew. It was just another reason she adored Ali.

How close had she come to losing that beautiful soul today?

Unable to contain her emotions, Emily softly pulled Ali’s face towards hers until their lips were touching. She pulled back, and gave her several little light pecks and then she pulled her into a loving embrace, just wanting to feel Ali’s body close hers.

Ali could feel her shaking. She peered up into Emily’s eyes and saw a fear that she knew very well, because she’d seen it in her own reflection ever since she’d found out about Emily’s diagnosis. It took a minute for Ali to realize that her hands were trembling, too, probably the lingering effects from her adrenaline.

“Come here.” Ali pulled her towards a bench a few feet down the hallway, knowing that both of them needed to catch their breath. “You need to calm down.”

They sat down, both of them gathering their emotions. Emily texted the girls to tell them that Ali was okay and for them to focus all their energy on following up on what they’d found at the dollhouse. The girls were relieved to hear that Ali wasn’t hurt. Seeing it in writing gave Emily a sense of relief. For the first time since she’d heard the news about the accident, Emily was able to breathe normally again.

She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, trying to hide all the emotions that were swimming through her head. She felt Ali’s warm hand on her thigh, but couldn’t bring herself to look at her yet. What was she supposed to do now? Telling Ali the truth was why they were sitting in this hospital. _A_ clearly wouldn’t hesitate to hurt everyone in her proximity.

But she couldn’t look Ali in the eyes and start lying to her again. She could feel Ali’s eyes on her, burning through her. After a few seconds she pulled back and heaved out an unsteady breath. Ali watched her curiously. She saw something in Emily’s expression that worried her. Ali could tell something was weighing heavily on her.

“What’s wrong?”

“You mean besides the fact that we’re sitting in a hospital hallway?”

“It’s more than that.” Ali kept her voice quiet. “Did something happen at the dollhouse?”

A nurse and two orderlies shuffled down the hallway. Emily glanced at her, a tense expression on her face.

“Not here, Ali.” Emily shook her head. Not in such a public place.

Ali looked around and nodded. She pulled Emily to her feet and guided her to the room across the hall. Before Emily could say anything, Ali explained,

“Luke is still in surgery.” She shut the door behind them. “What happened out there today?”

Emily felt her heart racing. Should she tell Ali about what they found in the dollhouse? What about _A_ ’s taunt about causing the accident? How had _A_ even found out that Ali knew? Did _A_ know they went to the dollhouse? Was it Alexander? Did he know they were on to him? What if they were being watched right now? Ali could see the wheels turning in her head.

“You’re shutting down again.” Ali glared at her. “Don’t do this to me.” She huffed in frustration.

“No, I’m not. I swear. It’s not what you think.” Emily shook her head. “It’s just…” She looked into Ali’s eyes and sighed. “ _A_ did this.” She motioned to the room, the hospital. “This was retaliation because I told you.”

“Em, no, this wasn’t…”

Emily held her phone up to show her the message she’d gotten about the accident. Ali’s face went slack in shock, the color draining from her cheeks.

“I got it right after Toby got the call from Lorenzo.” Emily put her phone back in her pocket.

“How…”

“I don’t know.” Emily threw her hands up in the air. “All I know is that we’re dealing with a very twisted mind here. Whoever did this hurt a bunch of high schoolers just to send me a message.”

Ali’s face flushed in anger.

“This bitch thinks it’s okay to come into _my_ town and mess with _my_ kids?” She rubbed the palm of her right hand over the knuckles on her left hand. “Oohhh, I am going to rip this psycho’s hair out by the follicles and force them to eat it until they choke.” She growled. “Who is this monster?”

“I don’t know.”

_Alexander Drake. Sara Harvey. Both of them. Neither of them._

It was really anyone’s guess. Emily pushed her lips together and tried not to look too conspicuous.

_Ask her if she knew Charlotte had a secret husband who enjoyed long walks on the beach, traveling, and shoving your head under water until you passed out._

But how could she bring it up without further endangering Ali? The last thing she needed right now was Ali trying to investigate this on her own. If _A_ was watching Ali and he found out they were hot on the trail, the game would end in a bloody mess…and Ali would be the one paying the price. That was too steep a cost for Emily.

Emily looked around the hospital room, her eyes catching on a medical waste basket near the door. Her body seized up as she thought about the faux-hospital room in the dollhouse where she’d been forced to play the game with the keys. Suddenly, she was back in the dollhouse again. She could feel the cold metal against her sweaty fingers. She could hear her friends’ screams. She started breathing hard through her nose. Ali saw the faraway look in her eyes and recognized it immediately.

“Em.” She instinctively put one hand on Emily’s cheek and the other against her side. “Hey, look at me.” She watched as Emily’s eyes slowly met hers. Ali’s eyes were fixed on hers, full of reassurance. “Focus on me. Just take a deep breath, sweetie.”

Emily nodded and blew out a relaxing breath. The room became deathly silent as Ali let Emily work through her thoughts. She could see the pain in Emily’s eyes, and Emily knew it. She looked away so Ali wouldn’t have to be subjected to the chaos in her head.

“God, I knew letting you go back there was a lousy idea,” Ali muttered.

She was mentally kicking herself for not forbidding Emily from doing it. Then again, if she’d forbidden Emily from doing it, the girl probably would have yelled “Challenge Accepted!” and skipped all the way down there and declared that she was going to stay the night solely to disobey Ali’s orders.

Emily didn’t regret going back, though she wasn’t sure Ali needed to know everything yet. If they hadn’t gone back they never would have known that Charlotte had an accomplice willing to kill for her solely because they used to do the horizontal bop. Emily’s panic passed. She sighed and looked at her girlfriend, hating that she was caught up in this mess. But she knew she had to ask.

“Ali, does the name Alexander Drake mean anything to you?”

“Alexander…” She said the name slowly, dropping her hands to her sides in thought. A look of thorough confusion washed across her face. “No, why?”

Emily didn’t say anything. After a few seconds, Ali made the connection.

“Wait, Drake…like Cece Drake?”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “It’s just a…a name that came up.”

“When?” She looked at Emily incredulously. “You did find something at the dollhouse, didn’t you? Does it have something to do with that Xan guy you told me about?”

“We don’t know yet.”

She didn’t want Ali to think that it was something that she needed to go off and try to solve on her own. Emily was trying to be very casual about it. She was afraid _A_ would come after Ali if she started poking around in their investigation.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ali stared at her crossly. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing. We really don’t know anything yet.”

Ali studied her face, waiting for her to crack, but Emily’s expression remained stoic. The less Ali knew about Alexander Drake, the better.

“Well, what _do_ you know?” Ali questioned. “Why don’t you start by telling me that?”

“Please don’t push this. Not here. Not now. Not after…” She gestured to the room, “…this.” _Not after today. Not after your bus was made into a bumper car for A’s carnival._

Ali frowned and let out an exasperated breath.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

“ _We_ aren’t going to do anything. In case you hadn’t noticed you’re in the hospital waiting on one of your students to get out of surgery.” Emily sighed. “I got us into this mess. I’ll figure out a way to get us out.”

“Not alone you won’t.”

“Ali…”

“Don’t let this scare you.” Ali took her hand. “We can’t go backwards here.”

“Alison, a man is dead. Those kids are going to be traumatized! And you…” She shook her head and jutted her jaw to the left to bite back her emotions. “Look, you could have died today.”

“You could have, too!” Ali snapped angrily. Sometimes it annoyed Ali how focused Emily got on others that she completely disregarded herself. Ali had been on her about that since they were teenagers. She’d spent years trying to get Emily to care for herself the way she cared for others. “I won’t let you deal with this by yourself. You mean too much to me.”

“If I pull you into this any further who knows what might happen? _A_ could blow up the school.” She cringed, regretting even saying it out loud. It felt like a jinx, or like she was putting it out there in the world and giving _A_ ideas.

“Emily, you promised…” Ali sounded more pissed than upset.

“That was before you and your kids were sent on _The Magic School Bus_ trip from hell.” Emily curled her long locks around her index finger nervously. “Are you really willing to risk the lives of everyone we know? Our families? Our friends? Your students?”

Ali felt torn. She knew that Emily had a point. She’d seen a terror in her students’ eyes today that she never wanted to see again. There had to be a way to keep them safe. She mulled it over.

“I’ll take a leave of absence.” Ali stubbornly folded her arms across her chest. “ _A_ can’t get to them if I’m not near them.”

“That’s not going to solve anything, and you know it.” Emily argued. “Besides, you _just_ got back. You can’t bail on your job to help us play Scooby Doo.”

“We are not going to play this game of who can be more stubborn. Because you know I’ll win. I can’t just ignore this. I can’t just pretend like everything is normal. Nothing about our lives is normal!” She raised her voice.

She looked like she was on the verge of completely breaking down in tears. She was angry and frustrated…and scared. Emily took Ali’s face in her hands to try and get her to calm down, the same way Ali had done for her moments ago.

“Hey, I’m not saying you’re going to be completely in the dark.” She locked eyes with Ali. “You know what’s going on, okay? You know, and you’ve got my back.”

“We have to be in this together. I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re fighting.” Ali frowned.

“I hear what you’re saying. I do. But _A_ …this new _A_ , whoever it is, they are willing to kill you to keep you out of this. And if keeping you out of it keeps you alive, I don’t see what other choice we have.”

“I can’t just sit back and watch while you and the girls are being tortured. Not again.” Ali’s voice broke, and it killed Emily to hear her in distress. “You’ve been hurt enough. It’s too much.” Tears spilled down Ali’s cheeks. She was so drained from this day. All of the emotions she’d been holding in came pouring out.

Emily pulled her into her chest for a hug and Ali buried her face between her breasts, perfectly content to stay there as she softly wept. She’d been through something traumatic today and it was finally coming to a head for her. Once Emily felt her settle down she loosened her grip and looked down at her.

“The girls and I are going to figure it out.” Emily gently brushed the back of Ali’s head, running her fingers through her soft blonde hair.

“At what cost?” Ali was a bit more composed now. She wiped her tear-stricken face with her fingers and pulled away from Emily so she could look her in the eyes. She had a pensive expression on her face. “You really have no idea what this is doing to you, do you? You can’t see it,” she sighed. “You never could see it.”

“It’s hard, sure, but…”

“Emily, I see everything in your eyes.” She interrupted her. “I can see how exhausted you are, and I’m not just talking from a physical standpoint. You have so much going on inside. You’re drowning.” She tenderly caressed Emily’s face. “And you keep disappearing under the current. And yet, you still keep taking in more.” Her lips quivered. Her hand slid down the side of Emily’s neck. “You can’t keep taking these hits. It is tearing you apart. The more you bury, the faster you dig your grave.”

“I’m just trying to protect the people I love.” Emily groaned in frustration. She hated that Ali was taking on her problems.

“So am I.” Ali put her palm on Emily’s face again, her thumb brushing Emily’s cheekbone. “I’m watching this slowly kill you…and that is the _worst_ feeling in the world. I can’t go to another funeral, Em. I…I can’t.”

“You won’t have to. Ali, it’s going to be okay.”

“How? How is _any_ of this ever going to be okay again?” She dropped her hand to her side, leaving Emily with a sudden chill at the loss of contact.

“Because it has to be.” Emily wasn’t sure how to answer her question. She really didn’t have an answer. “Because we’ve gone through too much and come too far to lose one another now. Because we deserve better.”

“Really? Hope? That’s what you’re putting your faith in?” Ali asked, a dark undertone in her voice. “No genius idea? No solid plan? We’re just going to sit and wait on the universe to throw us a bone?”

“Ali, this is what I do.”

“Ugh,” she grumbled. Her girlfriend was maddening. “You are impossible, do you know that?” She rolled her eyes. “I swear if I didn’t love you so much I would strangle you.”

Emily smiled and rolled her tongue around in her mouth.

“Awesome. I’ve been hoping to spice things up in the bedroom.” Emily lifted her brows in a teasing manner, knowing that if anything could bring them out of this funk it was another four letter “f” word.

“Don’t…” Ali said with a warning, but she was on the verge of smiling.

“Don’t what?” Emily asked innocently. She swayed on her feet and wrapped her fingers around the back of Ali’s neck.

“You’re trying to make me forget I’m pissed at you.” She did her best to resist Emily’s coy smile.

“Go with it.” Emily slid her hands down Ali’s side, coming to rest on her hips.

One of her hands slipped under Ali’s shirt and on to her stomach, her fingers dancing around the waistband of Ali’s pants. Ali couldn’t resist her. She ran her hand up along Emily’s arm, smiling at her before leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. Emily dipped her fingers inside Ali’s waistband, lowering them until she grazed the top of Ali’s lacy underwear. Her fingers dared to drift lower just as the door swung open with a loud bang.

Emily quickly pulled her fingers out of Ali’s pants. They both dropped their hands to their sides, looking like a pair of deer caught in the headlights of a car. Ali looked at Emily’s face and saw that her cheeks were bright red at the prospect of getting caught. Ali chuckled nervously and cleared her throat as a nurse rolled Luke into the room on his hospital bed. He was sitting up, but it was obvious he was loopy from his medications. He had a large plaster cast on his left arm.

“Heeeey, Miss D…” Luke grinned in a drunken stupor. “Check it out. I got a bionic arm.” He tapped the cast with the index finger of his uninjured hand. “I’m Supa-man, man.”

“Settle down, Luke.” The nurse smiled.

“Is he going to be okay?” Ali asked.

“He’s going to be just fine.” The nurse replied with a laugh. “He’s a bit of a wild one, isn’t he?”

“He tried to grab your boob, didn’t he?” Ali glanced at Luke, who was completely oblivious to their conversation. He looked like he was watching a very intense, very funny tennis match.

“Several times.” The nurse nodded.

“Miss D…” Luke called for her attention. “Did you know that King Leontes was a total troll?” He laughed. “Shakespeare was pushing people’s buttons long before the Internet. It’s fantastic.” He glanced around the room, blinked hard and then looked back at Ali. “I think I’m going to need an extension on my homework.”

“I think that can be arranged.” Ali laughed.

“You’re the best.” He leaned back against the bed. He looked at Emily and then winked at Ali. “Your girlfriend is hot.”

Emily turned away and blushed again, trying not to give away just how close they’d come to _really_ making this room hot. Ali snorted. She thought it was hilarious.

“Thank you, Luke.” Ali smiled.

“Like _hot_ hot.” His huge dopey grin took up his entire face.

The wily teenager had plenty more to say, and it provided some much needed entertainment for Ali and Emily. By the time they got home that evening tensions had eased slightly. Ali went to soak in a hot bath to try and prevent herself from being too sore in the morning. Emily lavished in the opportunity to take care of her. She was in the middle of making Ali a cup of hot tea when Ali’s phone rang. Emily saw that it was Lorenzo calling and answered. She told him Ali was taking a bath, so he gave her the message that the cause of the accident was a problem with the brakes. Emily had been expecting it, but it still hit her pretty hard. Minutes after they hung up her phone chimed. She glanced at it and when she saw the text she dropped the cup of steaming water she had in her hands, spilling it all over the counter.

_“I gave you a BRAKE this time. But if you open your mouth again I won’t hesitate to finish the job.”_

Emily’s lip twitched. She felt a rage building up inside. She wanted to type a curse-filled reply telling this person exactly what she thought of them. The only thing that was stopping her was her trembling hands.

She heard something rustling around outside on the porch. Her head shot up. Immediately, she went into defense mode. Without even thinking, she raced to the door, stopping to grab an umbrella that was propped up against the door frame. She flung the door open and drew back the umbrella like it was a baseball bat and ran directly towards where she heard the noise. Her eyes darted around, looking for any trace of movement.

The night air was quiet at first. But then she heard something shuffling behind her. Before she could turn around, a hand shot out of the darkness and grabbed her arm.


	26. In The Eyes The Heart Abides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I fretted over this chapter for a long time. The closer I get to the end, the more I obsess about...well, everything.

* * *

She jerked away from the person holding her arm and spun around, swinging the umbrella furiously at her attacker. She was moving so fast that all she could see were the shadows on the porch. She heard shoes scuffling against the ground and then cussing.

“Whoa!” Someone exclaimed.

The voice sounded familiar. It caused her to pause in her attack. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light on the porch being cast outside by the lights inside the house. She saw Aria and Hanna stumbling back several feet.

“Jesus, Emily. It’s just us.” Hanna threw her hands up defensively.

“Oh my God.” Emily dropped the umbrella and pushed the palm of her hand against her forehead. “Why didn’t you say anything? I almost took your head off.”

“With an umbrella?” Hanna looked almost amused. “What were you going to do with that anyway, Mary Poppins? Shove it down our throats like a spoonful of fricking sugar?”

“I thought you were _A_.” Emily forced herself to calm down.

“So you rushed out to do a dance number from _Singin’ in the Rain_?” Hanna asked. She bent over and picked up the umbrella.

“I just grabbed the first thing I could find.”

“I have heels sharper than this thing.” Hanna frowned in disapproval.

“We didn’t mean to scare you,” Aria said. “We were getting ready to ring the bell and then we heard something back here and were worried someone was trying to break in. We weren’t expecting to find you in full _Braveheart_ mode.”

“After the day we’ve had you’re lucky I didn’t attack first and ask questions later.” Emily breathed a sigh of relief.

“Actually, that’s exactly what you did.” Hanna pointed out.

“Excuse me for not being prepared for a house call at ten o’clock at night.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Oh, wow, is it really that late?” Aria glanced down at her watch and shook her head. “Sorry. We’ve been holed up with Caleb and Ezra at Spencer’s place in DEFCON mode. We’ve been meaning to swing by and check on Ali for hours now. How is she?”

“Miraculously still standing.” Emily glanced towards the house.

“How are _you_?” Hanna questioned.

“I’m going to start charging a dollar every time someone asks me that.”

“You looked pretty rough in the car, Em. We thought…”

“I know what you thought.” Emily interrupted Hanna. She couldn’t go five minutes without someone freaking out about her health. It was starting to stress her out. “I’m fine, guys. Really.”

“If you say so,” Hanna muttered under her breath.

Emily and Hanna exchanged a glance as they walked around the corner and up the stairs to the front door. Emily knew that Hanna wasn’t buying the fertilizer she was trying to sell her. Hanna had always had a unique way of knowing when Emily was being less than honest with her. But Hanna didn’t push it.

“Sorry I took off on you guys earlier.” Emily walked through the front door, the girls following.

“No judgment here.” Hanna shrugged. “I bolted on one of the most important work meetings of my life a few months ago when I got a phone call that Caleb had an accident and wiped out at work. I got all the way to the hospital only to find out someone took down the message wrong and he’d just called to let me know that he’d accidentally wiped out the hard drive on my old laptop.” She frowned. “I could have killed him.”

“For the hard drive or for the panic attack?” Aria lifted her eyebrow curiously.

“Both.”

“That seems to be a running theme when you love someone. ‘You scared the hell out of me, so now I’m going to kill you’.” Emily nodded.

“Relationships are weird.” Aria’s nose crinkled.

“Tell me about it.” Emily mumbled. She glanced up the stairs.

“Yeah, well, we won’t have to worry about our significant others killing us if Alexander Drake does it for them,” Hanna said, a little too loud. “That marriage certificate was legit by the way. It’s official. Our ball and chain had her own ball and chain.”

“Hanna, can you keep it down? Ali is right upstairs.” Emily tried to get her to lower her voice.

“So?” Hanna looked at her in confusion. “Didn’t you tell her?”

“Are you kidding? After that stunt _A_ pulled today?” Emily scoffed.

“Don’t you think she should know that her sister was half of a Bonnie and Clyde duo?” Hanna questioned. She shook her head. “I’d like to meet the moron who joined them in matrimony. _‘Do you promise to love, cherish, and torment completely innocent people until death do you part?’_ They probably honeymooned in a hostel to pick up ideas on how to torture us.”

“Seriously, shut up, Hanna.” Emily glared at her.

“What’s your deal? I thought you were trying the whole honesty route with Ali.” Hanna frowned.

“Yeah, I was.” Emily sighed. “But I got another message.” She grabbed her phone.

She showed the girls _A_ ’s latest and greatest. Aria’s eyes widened. Hanna looked annoyed. She was so done with all of _A_ ’s crap.

“Wow, this person _really_ doesn’t want her involved,” Aria said.

“This is why I was running around outside like a crazy person. I got it after Lorenzo told me that the crash was caused by faulty brakes.”

“Well, at least the cops know about the brake issue, so they can investigate it.” Hanna tried to look on the bright side.

Emily lifted her brow and pushed her lips together in a tight line.

“Apparently there’s nothing to investigate. Lorenzo said something about it being a failure in the compression system. He didn’t mention a word about it being deliberate.”

“Are you kidding me?” Hanna snapped. “God, the cops in this town aren’t fit to serve. I bet half of them couldn’t find their junk between their legs with their own hands.”

“Yeah, and the one cop we need to be inattentive is sharpening her claws and getting ready to go in for the kill.” Aria mumbled.

“Oh, please. I bet it’s a bluff. There’s no way Tanner could have a witness…” Hanna shrugged.

Emily suddenly perked up. This was news to her. Tanner hadn’t said anything about a witness to her this morning.

“Wait a second. Back up. A witness? When did this happen?” Emily swallowed hard.

“Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot you didn’t know. My head is still mush from staring at a computer all day. God, how does Caleb do it? My brain feels like a slushie.” Hanna rubbed her head. She looked at Emily. “Toby said the station is buzzing with activity right now over Charlotte’s case. The word is that Tanner has a witness that can prove someone followed Charlotte to _The Radley_ the night she was killed.”

“I told you to keep me in the loop. Why didn’t you text me about this?”

“We thought it would be better to do this in person…just in case our phones have ears attached to…you know who.” Aria looked around nervously, like they were being watched.

“I didn’t realize Voldemort was after us,” Emily said sarcastically.

“At this point, I’d rather square off with Tom Riddle than _A_.” Aria admitted.

“Who the hell is Tom Riddle?” Hanna’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

Aria and Emily couldn’t help but laugh. Hanna was adorably cute when she was bewildered.

“Don’t worry about it, Han.” Aria smiled.

Hanna glared at her friends, perturbed that she wasn’t in on the joke. After a few seconds her expression softened and she rolled her eyes and shrugged it off.

“So, any ideas on who this witness is?” Emily asked.

“Tanner is doing everything she can to keep Toby out of it.” Aria sighed. “All he could get out of her was that the police want to talk to us.” She bit her lip nervously and her eyes flickered towards the stairs. “ _All_ of us.”

“Aria, it’s going to be fine. We covered our tracks with the security footage.” Emily assured her.

“Yeah, but what about the security photo of me outside the bar that Ali has on her phone?”

“It’s gone. Deleted and forgotten.”

“Ali doesn’t still think I…”

“No.” Emily shook her head. “She knows you had nothing to do with it. She even went as far as talking to Elliott and the bartender about not making a big deal out of you being out there that night.”

“Really?” Aria seemed taken aback by the revelation.

“Damn, Em, Ali gets a little taste of you in the sack and she turns into a total sap.” Hanna snickered.

“Hanna.” Emily cut her eyes at Hanna.

“I’m kidding. Jeeze.” Hanna smiled at her best friend. “I’m glad you two are happy.” She saw the reservations on Emily’s face and then frowned. “You _are_ happy, right?”

“I mean, it would be better if we didn’t have her crazy ex-brother in law trying to avenge his dead wife by trying to destroy us at every turn,” she whispered. “Did the boys make any headway on that other than verifying the authenticity of the marriage certificate?”

Aria and Hanna glanced at one another. For a second, neither of them said anything. It made Emily antsy.

“What?” She couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

“Nothing.” Hanna’s eyes darted to the right. She only looked away for a fraction of a second, but it was a tell-tale sign that she wasn’t telling the truth.

“Hanna Marin, don’t you lie to me.” Emily warned her.

“I told you we should have let Spencer come instead.” Hanna huffed at Aria in frustration. “That girl lies for a living.”

“We weren’t going to say anything.” Aria had a nervous grimace on her face. “After everything you and Ali went through today we just wanted to give you a break.” She suddenly realized that she’d said the exact same thing that _A_ had taunted Emily with about the bus accident. “Oh, God, sorry. Poor choice of words.”

“What did they find?” Emily wasn’t fazed in the least. She felt almost numb after everything she’d been through lately.

“They got a hit on a possible location.” Aria kept her voice low, and Emily appreciated her being so considerate.

“ _What_?” Emily had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling.

“His last known address. It’s somewhere out in Amish Country. We’re going out there tomorrow to check it out,” Aria said.

“This is huge.” Emily had expected them to get a quick turnaround on information on this guy, but she hadn’t expected it to be this quick. “Why didn’t you want me to know?”

“Because we knew you’d insist on going with us.” Hanna answered bluntly.

“Of course I’m going with you.”

“We just thought…”

“You thought what, Hanna?” Emily asked sharply, causing her friend to recoil a little at her tone. “That I’m too fragile to handle this?” Emily suddenly realized the harshness of her voice and she pulled back. “Look, I know Ali and I have been through a lot, and I want nothing more than to have an ordinary day…just the two of us, having a picnic…doing something normal. But that’s not going to happen as long as we have this psycho breathing down our necks. Even if we _tried_ to be normal, he’d find a way to ruin it. So if you guys have a lead, I’m right there with you. If it means putting an end to this I’ll march out there right now and haul this guy’s ass in to the police station myself.” If they could end this then maybe, just maybe, she and Ali would have a shot at real happiness.

“Well, okay then,” Hanna said, an impressed chuckle escaping her lips.

“God, I can’t wait for this to be over,” Emily said.

“If it is Alexander, and we nail him…where does that leave us with Sara Harvey?” Aria asked.

“Hopefully he’ll talk and give her up.” She didn’t want to think about Sara Harvey yet. They needed to see where this Alexander thing went first.

“So we’re thinking…what? That Charlotte, Alexander, and Sara were some postmodern polygamy couple that got off on seeing people suffer?” Hanna asked.

“Maybe. I mean, it’s possible they both loved Charlotte, and after she died they decided to team up again and stronghold us into giving them an answer about what happened to her.” Emily shrugged.

“This is too complicated for my brain to process at this hour.” Hanna moaned.

Aria’s phone beeped. She glanced at it.

“It’s Spencer.” She faced Hanna. “We should head back.”

“I’ll call you guys in the morning, okay?” Emily said, her demeanor much calmer now.

They said goodbye and Emily walked them to the door. Aria told Emily to make sure she locked it behind them, and Emily nodded.

“Seriously, who is Tom Riddle?” She heard Hanna ask as they were walking down the porch stairs.

Emily laughed as she secured the deadbolt. She headed up the stairs, but paused when she reached the top. She stared at the bedroom door. The last thing she wanted to do was to walk in there and lie to Alison. She was so sick of all the secrets. Ali was right when she’d called her out for burying her emotions. She had been repressing everything since she’d gotten back into town, maybe even longer than that. She’d been pushing her pain away for way too long. She did feel like she was being ripped apart. And she just wanted it to stop. But she didn’t know how to make it stop. All she knew was that the only thing that made her feel normal…feel safe, was Alison. She couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to her. She wanted to put an end to _A_ once and for all. If that meant she had to tiptoe around the truth, then she was prepared to do it. She would do anything to keep Ali safe. She knew how much that infuriated Ali, but she would rather have Ali pissed off at her and alive than the other alternative. Keeping her out of it was better than losing her.

Besides, all they had to do was track down a highly intelligent sociopath who had eluded them at every turn while simultaneously trying not to get apprehended by the cops… _again_.

Piece of cake.

She walked into the bedroom, fully ready to give Ali the best poker face in the history of poker faces, but she found her blonde beauty sound asleep. She had an open book resting against her chest. The book moved up and down as she took long slow breaths. Emily couldn’t help but smile at how stunning she was. She’d always thought Ali looked like an angel when she slept. It’s like there was another Alison DiLaurentis that lived inside of her and she only came out when Ali was letting go of the real world. Emily had always known the inner Ali was there. When they were kids Emily had seen Ali’s abrasive outer shell completely fall away when Ali was dreaming. She saw an intimate and vulnerable side that Ali dared not show anyone when she was awake.

Emily walked over to the bed and gently lifted the book off of Ali’s chest.

_Great Expectations._

Why was she not surprised? She chuckled lightly and put the book on the nightstand. She put her knee on her side of the bed, careful not to disturb Ali. For a minute she just marveled at how peaceful and at ease she looked. A good night’s sleep was something they both sorely needed. Emily felt guilty that she’d kept Ali up with her night terrors, but she also knew that Ali understood. She’d seen Ali have her fair share of sleepless nights, too, especially after she’d come back to Rosewood after being on the lam for two years. Emily had spent the night with her several times back then, because she knew it would be difficult for Ali to adjust to being back. She’d learned fairly quickly how scared Ali had truly been after everything she’d been through. Emily knew she didn’t like the dark, because it reminded her too much of the nights she’d spent alone, huddled and cold in abandoned buildings. Emily always made sure there was a light on where Ali could see it. And when Ali would wake up crying and scratching at her face terrified that she was still stuck in the ground drowning in dirt, Emily would take her hands and assure her that she was safe.

Time had helped Ali heal. Time, and therapy. Ali had never been one to talk about her problems, but when she finally opened up she realized just how badly she needed it. Ali learned to rely on therapy, even after high school had ended… _especially_ after high school had ended, because all of her friends left…Emily left. And she was lost and alone. Charlotte had been the perfect distraction. Getting to know her sister was exactly what the doctor ordered, and it helped that it put her in contact with Elliott. When Ali met Elliott, her main focus had been to help Charlotte, but Elliott helped Ali realize that she needed a friendly ear, too. He’d helped her as much as he’d helped Charlotte.

Emily ran her fingertips loosely through Ali’s hair and leaned over and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead. She saw Ali’s mouth twist into an unconscious smile and it warmed Emily’s heart. She started to pull away, but Ali reached up and put her hand on the back of Emily’s neck, curling her fingers and holding her in place as she opened her eyes and leaned up to capture Emily’s lips. She held the kiss for a few seconds and then laid back against the bed. She had a dreamy look in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Emily said quietly.

“I wasn’t sleeping. I was meditating with my eyes closed.”

“You don’t meditate.” Emily laughed softly.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Ali said with a seductive smirk.

“Oh, yeah? Such as?” Emily crawled next to her, brushing her hair aside and placing a soft kiss against her exposed neck.

Ali turned towards her, her warm hands embracing Emily’s face with a gentle passion that made Emily shiver.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Ali teased her. She leaned forward and placed another delicate kiss on Emily’s lips, holding this one a little bit longer than the last. She pulled back and yawned.

“Am I boring you?” Emily asked jokingly.

“Never.” Ali shook her head, her cheek brushing up against her pillow as she moved her face. “I heard voices. Who were you talking to?” she asked curiously.

“Don’t worry about it.” Crap, where was that poker face she’d perfected before she walked in the door? She saw Ali staring at her, her lips in a tight frown. “It was just Hanna and Aria. They came by to see how you were doing.”

“And?” Ali didn’t buy that she was getting the whole story.

“And nothing. I told them you were resting.”

Ali could sense that Emily was holding back. She’d expected her to pull away after she saw that text from _A_ on Emily’s phone. She knew that Emily would go to the ends of the earth to protect her. Emily wouldn’t be Emily if she didn’t try to protect her. But it still annoyed Ali.

“Emily, what’s really going on?” Ali pushed. “What are you girls up to?”

“Ali, please don’t ask me that.” Emily didn’t want to lie to her.

“We’re not going back to the way things were before,” Ali said stubbornly.

“Can we please not do this now?” Emily begged. “After the day we had, the last thing I want to do is fight with you. I just…I just want to hold you.” Emily leaned in and pushed her forehead against Ali’s. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Hopefully tomorrow would be the beginning of the end of Alexander. If they could track him down they could put an end to his reign of terror, assuming it was him behind it…which seemed highly likely.

Ali huffed out a heated breath that trickled along Emily’s cheek. Emily was so close to her that she could practically see the fire in Ali’s eyes.

 _Please just drop it, Ali._ She pleaded with her silently.

Ali opened her mouth to reply, but then sighed. She closed her eyes and mashed her lips together. She didn’t want to fight with Emily either. She’d seen how shaken up Emily had been at the hospital. And she’d heard about how Emily had collapsed in shock when she got the news about the wreck. Toby had called to check on them and he’d let it slip that he was worried about Emily as much as he was worried about Ali. Once she got over the initial surprise that Toby was worried about her at all, she asked him why he was worried about Emily. After he realized he’d put his foot in his mouth he knew there was no talking his way out of it, so he’d told her the truth. Ali didn’t tell Emily she knew. She knew Emily hated being doted on.

Ali looked into Emily’s eyes and she could see so much conflict in them, an inner struggle swirling beneath the surface. Emily was constantly thinking. Ali could tell the whole situation was eating away at her. So instead of yelling at Emily like she really wanted to, Ali just kissed away a tear that was threatening to spill over the brim of her lower eyelid. She slipped her hand down to Emily’s waist. She pressed against her and she felt Emily relax underneath her touch. They got lost in each other’s eyes until they fell asleep.

Emily got up early the next morning to make Ali breakfast. She channeled her inner Pam Fields and made the best omelets she’d ever made in her entire life. At first Ali panicked when she woke up and didn’t find Emily in bed next to her, afraid that _A_ had kidnapped her in the middle of the night. But then she smelled something that made her mouth water. When she found Emily in the kitchen, adorably wearing one of Pam’s aprons, she couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey, you’re up.” Emily turned around, frying pan in hand. She carefully turned the pan to let the omelet slide on to a plate. “How are you feeling? Are you sore?”

“Not at all.” Ali smiled. She was surprised she wasn’t more tender. “A hot bath and a hot girlfriend do wonders for the healing process.” Ali slunk over to Emily and kissed her good morning. “You really didn’t have to do all this, Em.”

Emily shrugged with a smile. For once, she had managed not to wake Ali up with her nightmares. She’d woken up around five after a bad dream. Ali’s arms had been wrapped tightly around her waist, her face nuzzled into Emily’s shoulder. Emily had just laid there for a while, not wanting to disturb her. It was only after Ali had rolled over in her sleep that Emily got out of bed and decided to make Ali’s kitchen her bitch.

“I wanted to.” She handed Ali a plate of food that looked like it had been made by a gourmet chef.

Ali smiled and took her plate. They sat down and ate their breakfast, neither of them saying much. They both knew that as soon as they started talking it would just be a fight, and neither of them was ready to back down. Emily was insistent that they not talk about _A_ , and Ali was insistent that Emily stop being so stubborn.

Ali had considered going to the girls and dragging the truth out of them, but she knew that they would remain loyal to Emily. But she was determined to find out what was going on. Emily saw Ali glance at her, a hint of frustration in her eyes. Emily cleared her throat.

“So, I’ve got to run some errands in the city with Hanna today.” The only part that wasn’t the truth was the part about them going to the city. They were going to the opposite of the city. They were going to Farmville, USA.

Ali looked at her skeptically. She wasn’t going to let Emily get away that easily. She propped her left elbow against the table and leaned her chin up against her hand. She scraped some crumbs around on her plate with the fork in her right hand.

“I’ll go with you.”

“You should rest.” Emily immediately argued. She saw Ali’s mouth tighten. She was trying very hard not to snap at Emily. “I thought maybe we could go out for a nice dinner tonight,” she added, trying to keep Ali from exploding.

Ali couldn’t argue with that. Dinner with her girlfriend did sound good. She nodded with a fake smile, trying to hide the fact that she was so very annoyed with Emily’s obstinacy. Somehow, they made it through breakfast without things escalating. Ali held her tongue all morning. It was only when Emily was getting ready to leave that Ali called out to her. Emily had her hand on the doorknob when she heard Ali sigh.

“Em?” She said hesitantly. Emily turned around and faced her. Ali wanted to tell her to be careful, to not do anything stupid, to stop being so pigheaded and to let her help. But she knew that Emily wouldn’t listen to a word she said, so there was only one thing to say. The one thing she knew Emily would hear, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Emily walked over to give Ali a goodbye kiss. She could feel the urgency in Ali’s movements. She could tell that Ali was afraid for her. “I’ll call you in a little bit. I promise.”

“You’d better.”

After she left, Emily called Ezra. She’d asked him to stay behind and keep an eye on Ali. She didn’t want Ali to be alone all day. The last thing they needed was a repeat of yesterday. Toby picked her up and then they went to get Hanna. It was just going to be the three of them because Spencer and Caleb had to work and Aria got a last minute phone call from her mother about a wedding planning crisis.

Toby was somewhat quiet on the drive out. Emily saw the bags under his eyes. He’d been pulling night shifts at the station because he’d been helping them hunt _A_ during the day. She felt a sisterly urge to shove him into a bed and make him take a nap. She was about to say something to him about it, but he interrupted them to lay down some ground rules. He was going to take the lead. On the off-chance that they found this Alexander guy out there, he wanted them to be safe. Neither Hanna, nor Emily argued with him. He had the gun, after-all. They quickly agreed and then Hanna made some quip about paddling faster because she heard banjos. Emily did feel like they were getting ready to step right into _Deliverance_ -land.

The address led them to an old church. They were confused at first, but then they noticed the cabin next to the church. They moved in closer for a better look.

“This feels like a trap,” Emily said with a frown.

“Our whole freaking world is a trap.” Hanna gripped Emily’s arm tightly as they walked towards the tiny house.

Toby was several feet ahead of them, his hand on his unholstered weapon. He approached the cabin like it was a wild animal that might turn and attack him at any moment. When he got up to the porch he peered in the window. It was completely abandoned. He walked back to the girls.

“No one has lived here in a while,” he said. He looked around.

“We came all the way up here for nothing.” Hanna huffed.

“Maybe not. Let’s take a look around.” Toby suggested. “We might find some clues.”

They searched the church next. Toby stopped at the front door, looking at the security cameras, which…judging by the broken casing and the surrounding graffiti hadn’t been used for a long time. The inside of the church was bare and covered in dust. The only thing inside were broken pews and a few ancient bibles. When they finished searching the church they walked around back and found a graveyard.

“Well, this isn’t creepy in the least,” Hanna muttered.

Toby walked ahead of them, keeping an eye on them as he walked several rows in front of them. Emily and Hanna stayed close, looking at all the fractured headstones with weeds and vines snaking all around them. Emily paused to look at a broken cross. She heard something snap and then she heard Hanna gasp. When she turned towards her friend she saw the ground beneath her giving out. Emily reached out and grabbed Hanna’s arm, but that just sent both of them toppling into the large hole that had been covered by fallen branches and leaves. Emily felt a sharp pain in her right leg. They hit the ground with a loud thud. Hanna scrambled to her feet. They’d fallen into an empty grave.

“You okay?” Hanna was breathing heavily. She offered Emily her hand to help her stand up.

“Ah,” Emily put all of her weight on her left leg, “yeah,” She glanced at her right leg. There was a rip in her jeans and blood was oozing out of a gash several inches above her knee. “Just a cut. You?”

“I think so.” Hanna brushed herself off. “Aww, I ruined my Jimmy Choos.” She looked down at her shoes and pouted.

“Why did you even wear heels?” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I didn’t know we were going off-roading in the mud.”

“What did you think ‘Amish Country’ meant, Hanna?”

“I don’t know. Don’t they make butter and stuff?”

Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. They glanced up. Some dirt and debris fell on top of them. Hanna looked at Emily with panic in her eyes, and all at once Emily knew that knew that Hanna was back in the dollhouse, back inside that tank being buried alive. Emily grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Hey, we’re okay. Toby’s got us.” She reassured Hanna.

Hanna nodded. Seconds later Toby appeared above them.

“Are you two alright?” He asked, out of breath.

“Hanna ruined her Jimmy Choos.” Emily glanced at Hanna’s shoes. “God rest their _soles_ …”

That got a giggle out of Hanna. Toby laid down, his stomach flat against the ground, and reached down to them. Hanna and Emily walked to the edge of the grave. Emily knew Hanna was freaking out so she took a step back and leaned down, locking her fingers together to offer her a boost.

“After you.” Emily encouraged her to put her foot in her hands so she could help her up.

Hanna smiled weakly in gratitude and then accepted Emily’s help. Once Toby pulled Hanna out, he reached back down for Emily. She stood on the tips of her toes. Her leg burned in pain, but she ignored it as she locked her hand around Toby’s wrist and put her feet against the unsteady dirt to try and push herself up. Once she was out they all breathed a sigh of relief.

“That could have been a _grave_ situation.” Toby tried to lighten the mood.

“You are such a nerd.” Emily gave him a hard time.

“Guilty as charged.” Toby shrugged. “Come on. We should get that cleaned up before it gets infected.” He pointed to the cut on Emily’s leg.

“Fine by me. Let’s get out of here.” Hanna shuddered.

They started to make their way back to the church, carefully watching their step so they didn’t fall into any more open graves. Emily limped a few steps behind Hanna and Toby. They had almost gotten out of the graveyard when Emily saw it. She stopped and let out a gasp. Toby and Hanna spun around.

“Guys…” Emily pointed to a headstone.

Hanna’s jaw dropped. Toby stared at it in disbelief. Emily stepped forward and ran her hand over the name.

_Alexander Drake._

Emily leaned down and brushed the overgrown weeds aside. According to the headstone he’d died when he was thirty, the date of death being four years ago. Charlotte had still been in Welby at that time.

“Good.” Hanna sneered. “I hope he suffered.”

“So all this _A_ crap must be Sara after all,” Emily said. “No one else could have had access to that footage of us in the dollhouse.”

“But why would she send us there to find out about Alexander?” Toby questioned.

“To throw us off the trail.” Emily shrugged.

And they’d played right into her deep fried hands. As if on cue, Emily’s phone chirped. Hanna’s bleated from inside her pocket as well. They glanced at one another and then begrudgingly looked at their phones.

_“Thought you had it figured out? Surprise, bitches. If you find me before I find out who killed Charlotte, I’ll bury you like I buried him.”_

She looked around. How could _A_ possibly know they were there? Her eyes stopped on the church security camera. She glared into the camera with a searing hatred. She wanted to scream. It was always one step forward and two steps back. Emily silently cursed herself for getting her hopes up. She’d been an idiot for thinking they could take on _A_ and win. She’d come out here with the intention of getting answers, but all she had to show for it was muddy clothes and an aching wound on her leg.

“Now what?” Hanna grumbled.

“I propose violence against our electronic devices.” Emily angrily squeezed her cell phone tightly in her fist.

“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.” Hanna nodded. “I could see if Caleb can get us some burner phones.”

“What’s the point? Sara would probably just start sending me messages written across my bathroom mirror with Ali’s blood.”

“Damn, that’s dark.” Hanna frowned at her friend.

“Let’s just go before we’re attacked by bats with rabies or something.” Though the prospect of going home to Ali and trying to explain this to her was giving her a headache.

When they got back to the car Emily texted Ali. Ali texted her back to let her know that she was doing some shopping. Emily then texted Ezra to make sure he was still keeping an eye on her. Ezra sent her a selfie of himself frowning in front of a department store and Emily couldn’t help but laugh.

When she got home she quickly cleaned herself up. She pulled a clean shirt over her head and put on some clean underwear and then grabbed the first aid kit to tend to the gash in her leg. It had scabbed over, but it was still oozing. She bit her tongue before dousing the wound with alcohol. She hissed when the cool liquid made contact with the gash. It stung like hell, but it was better than risking getting an infection. She slathered it with an antibacterial gel and was getting ready to tape some gauze over it when she heard Ali’s voice.

“Have a good time with Hanna?”

She nearly fell off of the bed. She hadn’t heard Ali come in. Emily jerked her head up to look at her. She was wearing one of Emily’s favorite blouses and a black skirt that ended just a few inches above her knees. She had several shopping bags in her hands. Her eyes were on Emily’s bloody jeans. She dropped the bags and shoved their bedroom door closed. She looked back at Emily with fury on her face.

“Oh,” Emily’s breath caught in her throat. She was busted. She was so, so busted. “We…stopped to take a hike.” _And, you know, fell into an empty grave. No big deal._

“Hanna Marin? Gucci queen? Muddying up her stilettos? Do you think I’m an idiot?” She snapped. “Don’t patronize me, Emily. It’s insulting.”

“Ali, it’s not…” It’s not what? It’s not what it looks like? She couldn’t say that, because it was _exactly_ what it looked like.

“I saw Ezra at the park,” Ali said, closing the distance between them. She lifted the gauze to look at Emily’s leg and cringed when she saw the gash. “And then again at _The Brew._ ” She paused and looked at Emily, making it a point to let her see how pissed she was. “And yet _again_ at the mall. He sucks at incognito.” Which was ironic considering he’d spent years below the radar gathering research for his book. “Did you seriously put a tail on me?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to leave you completely unprotected.”

“You were the one off playing vigilante, _Rambo_.” She put the gauze back up against Emily’s cut. Despite the fact that she was angry, her fingers were gentle and soft against Emily’s leg. “Give me that.” She grabbed the stretch bandage from Emily and wound it around the gauze to hold it in place. “I’m only going to ask this once.” Ali glared at her as she grabbed the tape and taped the stretch bandage down. “Where were you?”

Emily stared back at her blankly. She’d been planning on telling her everything at dinner, but that was when she thought that Alexander would be sitting in a jail cell. But he was in a grave, and they had no clue where Sara was. Emily had been warned more than once what would happen if she disobeyed orders.

“Emily, answer me, damn it!” Ali stood up.

Emily ducked her head trying to avoid Ali’s icy gaze. She could still feel Ali’s eyes on her.

“Talk to me!” Ali pleaded, her hand pulling Emily’s chin up to look at her.

“What do you want to me say, Ali?” Emily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. She stood up and paced across the room, her leg throbbing every time she put pressure on it. “You know what will happen if I tell you.”

“I don’t care! Nothing is worse than watching you put yourself in danger for me and not being able to do anything to help.” She strode up behind Emily. “You don’t get to make this decision for me.” She grabbed her wrist and jerked Emily around to face her. “It’s my choice, and I’ve made it.”

“No, Ali,” Emily said firmly. “This isn’t your fight.”

“Your fight _is_ my fight,” Ali replied harshly. “Don’t you get that? I love you, you idiot! How many times do I have to say that before you realize that those words don’t just mean holding hands in the park and cuddling on the couch? They mean through the good _and_ the bad! Do you really think I’m going to let you go up against this creep without me? After everything we’ve been through…after all the crap we went through together in high school? You never let me deal with this on my own…”

“Are you kidding? You ran away rather than let us help you.” Emily reminded her.

She could see the hurt and sorrow in Alison’s eyes. It nearly knocked the wind out of Emily.

 _Low blow, moron._ Emily mentally called herself a jackass.

Ali’s face flashed in anger.

“I did that to protect you!” Ali bit back.

“Exactly,” Emily said, her point proven.

The anger drained from Ali’s face. She knew Emily was right. How was what Emily doing any different than what she’d done herself in high school?

“We’re not kids anymore, Em,” she kept her tone even. “You and I both know that we’re stronger together. You have to let me in.”

“I can’t!” Emily yelled, pulling her wrist away from Ali. “I can’t, okay? I’m not going to serve you up to this psycho on a platter. I won’t.”

Ali could see the losses Emily had suffered in her grief-stricken face. There was a dull ache hidden behind her soft brown eyes, like a lost puppy who had been abused its whole life and didn’t know that there was a world where happiness existed. She swore she could see the pain Emily felt when she thought Ali was dead. Emily had forgiven her for her past indiscretions, but Ali still hadn’t forgiven herself for what she put Emily and the girls through. She knew why Emily was being so stubborn about this. The wounds Emily had acquired over the years had scarred her heart. She had lost so much. She had been through more than anyone should have had to survive, yet in spite of everything, her girl was _still_ fighting.

Despite her anger, Alison reached out to touch Emily’s face in a desperate plea to get her to open up. Emily closed her eyes. She felt a warm pulse surge through her body when Alison’s hand made contact with her cheek. No matter what the situation, Alison’s touch was like an unanswered prayer, a certain destiny meant to lead her to exactly where she needed to be. It made her forget everything. Emily leaned forward, her lips so close to brushing against Alison’s. She opened her eyes.

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is.” Emily breathed out raggedly, trying to keep her emotions in check.

All Emily wanted to do was to give in to her demands, to let her help. The captivating blonde was her one weakness in life that she didn’t dare fight against. With all the right words, with all the right touches, Emily became a soft and malleable piece of clay for Alison to work in between her fingers.

“It doesn’t have to be this hard.” Alison ran her fingers through Emily’s hair, pushing it behind her ear.

“This isn’t forever.” Emily promised, her breath hot against Alison’s lips.

“Em, we don’t have a lot of forever left.” She answered dimly. “Forever is a limited number of days for us, hun.” It hurt Alison to say it, but she knew that it would get Emily’s attention. It did. Emily’s eyes were wide and alert. “Pushing us apart is what this bitch wants. We can’t negotiate with this terrorist. We have to face this together.” Alison’s glassy blue eyes implored Emily to let her in.

“Need I remind you the lengths this person went to just to prove a stupid point to me?” Emily asked, tearing her eyes away from Alison’s. “This is the hand we were dealt, Alison. The cards suck, but we have to play what we’ve got.” She turned to look away.

Sometimes it felt like the whole deck was stacked against them. _A_ had certainly upped the ante by wrecking that bus. Emily knew that _A_ would call her bluff if she tried to drag Ali back into it. Ali had died once, and it nearly destroyed her. She wouldn’t go through that again. She despised the fact that this person was using her love against her.

“Hey…” Alison pushed the tips of her fingers against Emily’s face to force Emily to look at her again. She knew Emily would have a harder time refusing her request if she was looking her in the eyes “…I don’t care what the odds are. I’m all-in.” She moved closer, her mouth lingering near Emily’s lips. She could see Emily’s eyes darkening.

After everything Emily had been through with Alison, all she wanted was happiness…for the both of them. She thought back to the day Alison had asked her if she still believed in happy endings. Emily wasn’t sure anymore. She wanted to believe in happily ever after. She pretended to believe it. She didn’t know how else to face life other than to believe in the good, even when the good felt unobtainable. Fake it until you make it.

“It’s too dangerous.” It killed Emily to tell her no.

“Emily, you have a giant hole in your leg. You don’t get to tell _me_ when things are too dangerous.” Ali glared at her.

“I tripped.”

“Says every person trying to cover the truth ever.” Ali rolled her eyes.

“It _is_ the truth!” Emily huffed in frustration. She sighed and shook her head. She pulled away from Ali and reached for the door. “I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this…”

“No. You’re not running away from this.” Ali threw her hand up against the door, holding it shut. Her hand stayed firmly against it. Emily turned around to face her.

“Do you not get that _you’re_ the target?” Emily snapped. “ _A_ tried to kill you once. I’m not going to let that happen again.”

“I can take care of myself!” Ali growled. “And as far as _you_ go…” She leaned forward, pressing her body against Emily’s, forcing Emily to back up against the door. “…you need to get something through your head. I am not _asking_ you, I am _telling_ you…you are done being the martyr that dives on to grenades. From here on out…no matter what, we are in this together.”

Emily saw something burning in Alison’s eyes. There was a fight inside, a determined passion flickering fiercely in her gaze. Emily got lost in the blue swirls and waves of her irises. Alison’s eyes were like crystals reflecting Emily’s own image back at her. The flecks of gray and gold in her irises were illuminated by the sunlight being cast into the room through the blinds. Looking into Alison’s eyes made Emily feel like she was in a different universe. Her heart started beating faster.

“Ali…” Her voice came out as a whisper.

Alison did the only thing she knew how to do to turn Emily into putty in her hands. She shoved her body against Emily’s and kissed her, hard. Emily could feel the same desperation she’d felt in Alison’s kiss this morning, but this embrace had a hint of something else in it, too. Purpose. Control.

Alison pulled back, her teeth grazing Emily’s bottom lip softly. Emily stared at her in surprise. Ever since her hospital stay, Alison had been adamant about taking things slow, but this was anything but slow.

“Wh – what…” Emily tried to catch her breath, caught a little off-guard by the sudden shift in the mood. “What exactly are we doing here?”

“Exactly what you want. We’re living in the moment,” Alison said, her breath heavy. “You won’t listen to reason. You won’t listen to logic. Maybe you’ll listen to this.” She rocked her body against Emily’s, and it was almost enough for Emily to come completely undone.

Alison raked her fingers though Emily’s hair. Emily leaned forward and attacked Alison’s lips with a desperate hunger, her warm hands wrapping around the backs of her thighs, pulling Alison closer to her body. Alison ground her pelvis against Emily’s. Her lips and tongue were completely in sync, following the motions of her thrusts. Emily let out a groan of satisfaction, which Alison was happy to swallow. Emily bucked against Alison’s motions, meeting her movements in perfect rhythm.

Alison pushed into her harder, her body weight holding Emily firmly in place against the door. Emily threw one arm around Alison’s shoulder and wrapped her other around Alison’s midsection, her nails digging into her side. She felt Alison’s fingers gliding along her right side and then down and over her hip. Alison slid her hand up and down Emily’s right leg, careful not to touch the bandage covering her injury. Alison traced her fingers lightly along her thigh down to her calf and back up again, inducing shivers up Emily’s spine.

Alison pulled her lips away from Emily’s and nuzzled her neck. Emily threw her head back against the door and took several heaving breaths, her fingers lightly grazing Alison’s back. Alison kissed a tiny scar Emily had on her right clavicle. She’d asked her about it before, but Emily had just shrugged and changed the subject. But when she’d asked, Alison had seen a look in Emily’s eyes that she now recognized. She now knew that whatever had caused the scar had happened to Emily in the dollhouse. Alison felt tears stinging her eyes as she thought about what her sister had done to Emily.

“I will never let anyone hurt you again.” Alison peppered her neck with kisses, her breath tickling Emily’s ear. “I would kill to protect you, Em,” she whispered as she buried her face into Emily’s neck and kissed her way down, her nose grazing the top of Emily’s collarbone as she planted soft kisses all along her skin.

Emily felt Alison’s fingers graze her knee. Seconds later, Alison curled her fingers around the back of Emily’s knee and pulled her leg up against her hip. Emily felt the cut on her leg being pulled tight, but she ignored the discomfort. She felt Alison’s thigh in between her legs pressed firmly against her center and she automatically curled her leg tighter against Alison’s waist, a heat building between them. Alison kept one hand against Emily’s hoisted leg and the other against her side to help her keep her balance. She pressed her chest against Emily’s and pushed her lips up against Emily’s again. Their tongues curled and crashed against one another, their lips contradicting their urgent movements with a gentle caress that had a timid nature to it.

Emily slid the length of her arm against the back of Alison’s neck until her palm was up against the nape of her neck. She pushed her hand against Alison’s neck, urging her to deepen the kiss. Alison obliged. Emily felt Alison’s hand trail up underneath her shirt, tickling her ribs on her left side. Her palm grazed Emily’s left breast, then her right, her fingers gently exploring every inch of her chest. Emily exhaled a shaky breath into Alison’s mouth. Alison took it in…relishing in her taste.

Emily tightened her leg around Alison’s waist, her heel digging into Alison’s calf. Alison took the opportunity to slip her arm out from underneath Emily’s thigh and slid her fingers up and in between Emily’s thighs, slipping her underwear aside. Emily threw her head back and rose slightly against the door as she stood on her toes of the foot she had balanced against the ground. She arched her back. Feeling Alison’s warm delicate fingers against her bare skin was enough to nearly make her lose control.

“Jesus, Ali,” Emily sucked in a surprised gasp, her voice breaking through her heavy breaths as she looked down and watched Ali's fingers disappear between her legs.

She grabbed Alison’s upper-arm and squeezed it tightly, completely lost in Alison’s touch. Alison saw her eyes darken, her pupils dilating. Emily’s mouth dropped open and Alison smiled as she captured Emily’s lips once more, feeling her panting into her mouth. She could feel the vibrations of Emily’s moans radiating throughout her entire body. She sucked on Emily’s lips, alternating between gentle licks and light nips with her teeth, her tongue exploring every crevice of Emily’s mouth.

She felt Emily’s chest rapidly rising and falling against hers, her breathing becoming more and more labored. Emily squeezed the back of Alison’s thigh with her fingers, pulling her closer, kissing her harder. Finally, she had to pull her face away from Alison’s lips because she was panting so much that she couldn’t catch her breath. Emily buried her face in Alison’s neck and Alison felt her body shudder, one hand squeezing Alison’s arm and the other hand curled against the nape of her neck, her fingernails digging into Alison’s skin so deep that she was probably going to leave bruises. Her body loosened and Emily almost lost her balance, but Alison held her steady.

Alison withdrew her fingers and slowly lowered Emily’s leg to help her regain her footing. She ran her fingers through Emily’s hair, just letting her breathe. Emily was still trembling, her face hot, her eyes closed as she tried to regulate her breathing. Alison brushed her fingers against Emily’s jaw, her palm sliding down the side of Emily’s neck. Her pulse was racing. Alison bit her lip in concern, worried that they’d put too much strain on Emily’s heart. But then she felt Emily’s heart slowly return to a normal pace. Emily opened her eyes and peered at Alison, her russet eyes full of passion and reverence. Alison kissed her lips gently.

“Do you have any idea how special you are to me?” Alison asked, her hand cupping Emily’s face. “How much I love you?” She kissed Emily’s forehead, tasting the salt from her sweat. “I need you to hear me when I say this to you, Emily. I would do anything for you. _Anything_.” She pushed her forehead against Emily’s. She felt Emily’s chest heaving. “I refuse to let anything come between us, especially not some vindictive coward with a torture fetish and an unlimited cell phone plan. I don’t care what kind of threats we get.” Her jaw tightened. “I will put this person in the ground for what they are doing to you. _No one_ is allowed to mess with you…with _us_. Do you understand me?”

Emily was still breathing so heavily that she couldn’t answer, so instead she just nodded slowly and leaned forward to kiss her. Emily felt lightheaded in the most wonderful way. She closed her eyes and pulled her lips away from Alison’s. She didn’t say anything for a minute, not wanting to ruin the moment. But then her senses came back to her. She was dizzy and her leg was throbbing.

“I...I should probably sit down,” she said quietly.

Alison pulled back nervously, but she saw Emily staring at her with a calm expression and she knew that Emily was okay. She was just drained. Alison felt a little fatigued, too, so they spent the rest of the afternoon just being there with one another. Alison kept a watchful eye on Emily to make sure she hadn’t pushed her too hard. When she was certain that Emily had recovered from their spontaneous throes of passion she delicately broached the topic they’d both been dancing around since last night.

“Em, who is Alexander Drake?” Ali asked.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Emily, I swear to God…”

“It doesn’t matter because he’s dead.” Emily quickly finished her statement. “You were right, Ali. It’s Sara.” Her voice was soft and quiet. There was a tone in her voice that Ali didn’t like. It was faint, and a bit defenseless. Ali ran her hand across Emily’s cheek, which was warm to the touch. Emily looked up at her, her eyes tired. “It’s been Sara this whole time.”

Emily told her everything, sparing no detail. Ali listened, trying not to fly off the handle. It was bad enough that her sister had a secret husband. But knowing that Charlotte, Alexander, and Sara worked together as some creepy Manson-esque family to hurt Emily and the girls made Ali feel murderous. It took all of her self-control not to grab her grandfather’s old hunting rifle and storm out the door to personally hunt Sara down. The only thing keeping her tethered to her sanity was Emily. Emily’s warm hands were curled on top of hers, radiating tranquility and patience. Emily’s calm and docile eyes were holding her anger at bay. Emily had always been a gentle rainstorm that softly extinguished the flames of Ali’s anger before the blaze got out of control. Somehow, Emily always knew exactly what Ali needed. She loved Ali with every fiber of her being. Ali could feel it. Emily had given Ali her soul, her everything. Ali never knew anyone could love like that. She’d never known love until she’d loved Emily. And she was willing to do whatever it took to protect that love **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember me telling you at the beginning of this story you'd meet my inner critic, the angry British woman who believes everything I write is garbage? Yeah, she was all over me during this chapter. I ignore her most days, but truth is, I’ll probably always be insecure about writing detailed intimate romance scenes. I’m like...waaaaay better at capturing snark and wit in writing. I do hope that I have the right amount of depth and balance when it comes to Emison. And I hope there’s at least *some* authenticity in their passionate interactions.


	27. What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?

Emily never wanted her night with Alison to end. She felt warm and secure in her girlfriend’s arms. That night they just held one another. No pretenses. No heightened emotions. No lies. No anger. Just pure unadulterated love. She cherished every second of it. Part of her just wanted to stay in bed with her for the rest of their lives.

She woke up the next morning when she felt Alison’s fingers brushing her hair behind her ear. She opened her eyes and saw Alison lying on her side facing her, cheek pressed against her pillow. She was staring at Emily with a shy smile on her face, looking at her like she was the most captivating thing she’d ever seen. Alison’s eyes were scanning her face like she was trying to memorize every single one of Emily’s features.

“Mmm, hey.” Emily smiled.

“Hey yourself.” Alison’s hand slid down Emily’s jaw, her fingers grazing a sensitive spot on Emily’s ear.

Emily nuzzled her cheek against Alison’s hand, pushing into her embrace. She loved having Alison right next to her. She shifted her shoulder and readjusted her position so she could move closer to her. She tilted her head forward and their noses brushed against one another. Emily let out a content sigh and looked at Alison, her brown eyes twinkling with delight and affection. Alison looked back at her in curiosity, wondering what it was that Emily saw in her.

“What?” Alison asked, a soft laugh escaping her lips.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning,” Emily said quietly as she lightly traced her fingers across Alison’s temple, her palm cupping her chin.

“Emily Fields, you sentimental dork.” Alison rolled her eyes, her smile still wide on her face.

Emily curled her fingers into Alison’s hair, her fingertips tickling Alison behind her ear. They leaned in and pushed their lips together. Emily couldn’t help herself as she moaned into Alison’s mouth. Alison’s lips were soft and moist and tasted like heaven. When Emily pulled back she saw that Alison’s cheeks were pink and flushed. Alison glanced away, a bashful look on her face…a stark contrast to the girl who had pinned Emily against the door yesterday and taken complete control. Emily loved how dynamic she was. She was powerful and strong when she needed to be, but deep down she was still a shy and insecure soul with a heart open to all possibilities. She was layered in a way that most people would never understand. Emily loved all versions of Alison DiLaurentis.

“What time is it?” Emily yawned, feeling a tightness in her neck when her jaw stretched. She had assumed she’d be sore from the fall yesterday, so she wasn’t surprised.

“Quarter til nine.” Ali glanced over her shoulder. “I was thinking about making us some breakfast. You hungry?”

“Not really.” She cleared her throat and then sat up, rubbing her neck to try and get the kink out.

Ali’s lips twisted into a grimace. It wasn’t like Emily to turn down food. Ali had once seen the girl order a supreme pizza a few hours after she’d had her tonsils removed. She sat up next to Emily, looking for any small indication that she didn’t feel well. Ali had heard her coughing in the night, but otherwise Emily had seemed perfectly fine. In fact, she’d slept soundly for the first time since she’d gotten home from the hospital. Emily noticed Ali staring at her and gave her a half-smile in an attempt to let her know her neck wasn’t hurting that bad. But it wasn’t Emily’s neck that Ali was focused on. There was something strange in her eyes, and it bothered Ali.

“Hey,” Ali grazed Emily’s cheek with her knuckles, “you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” Emily brushed her off. “Fine. It’s just a cramp. I think I just slept on it weird.”

“Here, let me.” Ali sat up on her knees and put her fingers on Emily’s neck.

Her fingers started working the nape of Emily’s neck while her palm pressed further down, massaging soft circles into her skin. Emily craned her neck to the side and let Ali massage the tension out of her muscles. After a few minutes Ali felt Emily loosen up under her touch.

“Better?” Ali asked.

“Much.” Emily nodded.

But Ali wasn’t convinced. Something still didn’t feel right. There was a weird expression in Emily’s eyes, like she was still half asleep. She’d seen that same look in her eyes last night. It was like a distant weariness. A nagging feeling was in the pit of Ali’s stomach. Then again, she knew she’d become insanely paranoid about Emily’s health.

“What’s wrong?” Emily noticed Ali was staring at her intently.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You seem…off.”

“It’s just been a long couple of days.” Emily shrugged. “When this is all over I’m going to sleep for like a week.”

“Emily…” Ali pushed.

“Would you relax? You worry entirely too much.” Emily seemed genuine in her reply, making Ali feel a little more at ease.

“Yeah, well, you don’t worry nearly enough.” Ali huffed out, almost childishly.

Emily chuckled.

“So, what time are you meeting Jason?” Emily asked.

Ali’s brother was coming in to town and they’d made plans to spend the afternoon together catching up. Ali had joked about it being a business meeting, but it was partially true. They had to take care of some paperwork for the non-profit organization that Jason and Ali owned.

“I’m meeting him at the bank at 10:30.” Ali glanced at her watch. “Then we’re going to grab lunch afterwards.” She looked at Emily. “You should come.”

Truth be told, Emily had considered going with them. She was nervous about not being by Ali’s side all day, afraid that _A_ might do something heinous to Ali since Emily was refusing to play by her rules. But she knew that if Ali was safe with anyone, it was Jason. They’d had a rocky childhood, but they’d come out the end of it closer. Jason wouldn’t let anyone mess with his little sister. And now that Ali knew everything, she would be watching her back.

“Ali, how long has it been since you’ve spent time with your brother?” Emily frowned at her. “You guys need some family bonding time. Plus, I’ve got my doctor’s appointment this afternoon.”

“That’s today?” Ali asked.

“They called me to bump it up because they were double booked on the day I was supposed to have my follow up.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would have rescheduled with Jason.”

“I know you would have.” Emily kissed her forehead. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I can handle going to the doctor by myself. I’m not five. I don’t need you to hold my hand and give me a lollipop for being a good girl.”

Ali rolled her eyes. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth and played with her fingers nervously. Emily put her hands on top of Ali’s to try and soothe her fears.

“It’s just a follow up on my labs.” Emily tried to make her feel better.

“What time is your appointment?” Ali questioned.

“Noon.”

“Do you have a ride? I don’t want you walking out there alone.”

“Public transportation is still a thing for us common-folk, you know,” Emily said with a teasing smile.

“I do _not_ want you on a bus.” Ali shuddered. Not after the drama she’d seen unfold on the school bus after the wreck.

“Oh.” Emily nodded. “Right. I didn’t even think about that.” She didn’t even give it a second thought. “I’ll find a ride out there.”

“Don’t get into vans with strange men offering you candy,” Ali suggested.

“Duly noted.” Emily stood up, careful not to put too much pressure on her injured leg.

She stretched, trying to ease the tension out of her aching muscles. Her body started to feel less stiff as the morning went on. That didn’t stop Ali from stealing nervous glances at her. Ali asked her about a dozen more times if she was sure she didn’t want her to cancel her afternoon with Jason. Emily’s answer never changed. By the time Ali was getting ready to leave she’d basically written a list of questions for Emily to ask the doctor.

“Call me after your appointment,” Ali said as she grabbed her purse. She walked over to Emily, who was sitting on the couch doing a crossword puzzle.

“Sure thing.” Emily put the crossword puzzle down and leaned up to kiss Ali goodbye.

“Oh, and have him look at your leg. You might need some antibiotics or something.” Ali ordered.

“Whatever you say, Ali.” Emily wasn’t going to argue with her.

“And be sure to ask him about your cough.”

“What cough?” Emily glanced at her in confusion.

Ali furrowed her brow and pushed her lips together. Did Emily really not know she’d been coughing half the night? Ali had assumed that since her coughing had roused her, that Emily had been awake, too. She regretted not saying anything to Emily then, but she’d been too groggy to speak up.

“You were coughing last night.” Ali’s face tightened in concern.

“I was?” Emily cocked her head.

So that’s why her throat was sore. She’d chalked it up to allergies, but maybe she’d inhaled too much dirt in that open grave. She cringed, hoping that the grave hadn’t been filled with asbestos.

“Why do you think I’ve been so neurotic this morning?” Ali asked.

“Because you’re you.” Emily didn’t miss a beat.

Ali gave her a glare that said _very funny_ and Emily just smiled back at her with a gloating look on her face. Ali did not look amused. She reached out and took a chunk of skin from Emily’s arm and pinched it in between her fingers.

“Ow!” Emily breathed out a surprise chuckle. “What was that for?”

“Because you’re you.” Ali threw her words back at her, smirking sarcastically.

“Tell Jason I said hello.” Emily laughed.

Emily tried not to think about the fact that they weren’t going to be together for most of the day. If she started to let her mind wander to what could happen to Ali if she wasn’t around she would drive herself crazy. Being in a constant state of anxiety was dangerous territory. She was done giving _A_ the power.

She ended up taking the bus to the doctor’s office after all, though she’d never admit it to Ali. She didn’t like it when her girlfriend fretted over her. She didn’t like to be the cause of anyone’s pain. She was still trying to get used to Ali hovering over her like an overprotective mother. It’s not like it was surprising that Ali had basically turned into Emily’s nursemaid. When Ali loved someone she would move heaven and earth to shield them from harm. Emily could feel the depths of Ali’s feelings for her coursing through her veins. But it was still a foreign feeling to see Ali so attentive and in tune to her every move. It was weird, because for their entire lives it had been Emily protecting Ali. In a way, Emily was still protecting her. She always would…until her dying breath. But Ali had grown into her own, and Emily needed her as much as Ali needed Emily.

Emily was so lost in thought that she didn’t see him approaching her as she was walking towards the elevator. He had his phone in his hand staring at the screen. They almost collided, but Emily snapped out of her daze and glanced to her left and saw him about to bump into her shoulder. He looked up and smiled a crooked smile at her, less drugged up than the last time she’d seen him.

“Hey, you’re Miss DiLaurentis’s girlfriend.” Luke recognized her.

“I am.” Emily nodded. “How are you feeling, Luke?”

“Like I have a wicked hangover…” He stopped himself and then laughed nervously. “Um, not that I know what a hangover feels like, because I don’t drink. Ever. I can’t wait until I’m 21. I hope beer tastes good.” He tried to save face.

Emily’s lips turned upwards in a smile as she tried to stifle her laughter. She’d seen some of his entertaining antics as he was coming out of anesthesia after his surgery. At one point after he’d fallen asleep, Ali had told Emily that he was just as witty when he was sober. Ali was right. The kid was a riot.

“Hey, how is Miss D feeling?”

“She’s fine. You’re sweet to ask.” Emily smiled.

“Well, she’s my favorite teacher,” he said with a bashful shrug. She saw him grimace when he moved his injured arm. “And not just because she’s pretty to look at.” He had a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Emily couldn’t argue. Ali was hot. She wouldn’t deny that.

“She’s actually pretty cool,” he added, bringing a smile to Emily’s face. “She cares what we have to say, like…she tries to get us all involved and stuff. Most teachers just throw us a book of worksheets and sit behind their desks and play games on their phones. Miss D actually interacts with us. She wants to know our opinions on things.”

Hearing Luke gush over Ali made Emily feel a sense of pride. Ali had spent a lot of her time in high school hiding just how smart she really was. Ali had been so wrapped up in projecting her assertive persona to protect her self-image that most people didn’t see her high level of intelligence. All most people saw when they looked at her was a pretty girl who had the entire school wrapped around her finger.

Even back then Emily knew Ali’s full potential. There were times Ali would get called on in class and pretend not to know the answer, but Emily could see from her homework that she was bluffing. And there were times Emily caught glimpses of Ali hiding in the library stacks reading classic literary works, smiling to herself and fawning over her favorite passages. Ali had hidden that part of herself for so long, so it was nice to hear how it had come full circle and that Ali was embracing her intellect. And what’s more, she was trying to help an entire new crop of Rosewood teens discover their true potential, too.

“Thanks for letting her hang with me after the wreck,” Luke said. “I’m sure you much rather would have been hanging out somewhere other than a disease-ridden germ factory.”

Luke had no idea how right he was…not about them staying with him after the surgery, but about being sick of hospital rooms.

“We’re probably standing in like…Ebola air right now.” He glanced around.

“You have a way with words.” Emily chuckled. He was like a teenage boy version of Hanna, and Emily adored that.

“That’s what Miss D says.” He nodded, missing Emily’s sarcasm completely. “Anyway, I really appreciate you guys being super-chill about staying with me. I don’t remember much, but I know you both stayed until my aunt showed. I was so doped up I thought I’d imagined you guys being there. Those pain killers were gnarly. After I came out of it the nurse just kept looking at me and calling me Casanova and laughing.”

“It was probably just because you were decked out in the best hospital gown formal-wear that Rosewood has to offer.” Emily tried to make him feel better.

“Nah. I know I get a little out of control when I’m trippin’. I had tubes put in my ears when I was two and my aunt told me that when I woke up from that I was trying to lick everyone’s faces.” He paused. “I didn’t try to lick your face, did I?”

It was clear that Luke had absolutely no recollection of what he’d been like after surgery, and that just made his post-surgical recovery all the more hilarious to her.

“No.” Emily bit back her laughter. “You were a perfect gentleman.” She lied through her teeth.

The boy was a teenager with raging hormones. She wasn’t going to hold him accountable for having such a wild reaction to everything around him when he was coming out of anesthesia.

His phone chimed. Emily jumped when she heard the noise. Being conditioned by years of _A_ ’s nonsense made her really hate hearing phones going off. Luke looked at the screen.

“I’ve gotta run. That’s my aunt. She’s pulling the car around. Thanks again, Miss…” He paused when he realized he didn’t know her name.

“Emily.”

“Miss Emily.”

“No ‘Miss’.” Emily cringed. It made her feel old. “Just Emily.”

“Uh, I don’t know about that. Miss D is a stickler for us not being too formal. She gave this girl Addison a week’s detention once for calling her ‘Ali’ in class. She doesn’t like being back-talked. I thought she was going to backhand Addison.” He rolled his eyes. “That girl is such a total bit…” he stopped mid-swear word when he realized he was talking to an adult.

“You can say it, Luke.” In fact, she’d heard Ali call the girl worse. “It can be our secret.”

“Wow, you’re super-cool, too.” He grinned. “You should come hang out at the school more often. We could use more chill adults. Plus, Miss D seems to be really happy when you’re there.”

Emily felt her cheeks burning thinking about the last time she’d been at Rosewood High. She’d lost control of her senses and almost ravished Ali in front of the whole student body. She looked at Luke, knowing he’d seen some of their make-out session. Counting the school and his hospital room, Luke had almost caught them in the act twice now. Emily was going to have to be more careful.

“It was nice to see you again.” Luke smiled. “Tell Miss DiLaurentis I said thanks, and that I’ll see her at school.”

“I will.”

“She’s the only teacher who has ever really given a crap about me, so take care of her, okay?”

“Always.”

She watched him trot out of the hospital and then she walked on to the elevator, smiling as she thought about how such an innocent interaction could make someone’s whole day. Somewhere along the line she had forgotten about all the little things that made life a little brighter.

Those little moments, those little acts, everything that encouraged happiness…those were what Emily tried to hold on to. In fact, when she sat down across from the doctor and listened to what he had to say to her, Emily did her best to hold on to the good. She found herself trying not to go numb. She heard what he was saying, but it’s like her brain wasn’t processing the words. She thought back to how Ali had been so sure that something was wrong. She had no idea that Ali had a reason to be concerned.

She dug her nails into the chair she was sitting in, not realizing that she was squeezing so hard that her knuckles were turning white. She nodded mindlessly while the cardiologist talked to her, managing to respond in short phrases. Her head felt like it was spinning. She wanted to be anywhere other than where she was at that very moment. So she shut down, thinking of things that she loved.

She thought about Ali’s smile and the way it made her feel. She thought about the way Hanna always looked so proud of herself after she made someone laugh. She thought about the way Aria had a stubborn fieriness to her when someone crossed her, and about the way Spencer always lit up when she was right about something. She thought about how many times she had laughed with her friends…and about how far they had all come. She thought about how good it felt to wake up in Alison’s arms and about what it meant to her that she finally got to be with her. She thought about her mother and her father and about everything they had done for her…how much they loved her. She thought about everything that had ever meant something to her. Those moments were the only things that kept her from falling apart.

When the doctor finished explaining things to her, Emily cleared her throat and stuttered out a couple of questions, already knowing what the answers were. The doctor was very straight-forward in his responses. Emily somehow managed to keep it together the entire visit. She felt like she was in a fog as she walked out of the building. All she could think about was how grateful she was that Ali hadn’t come with her.

Feeling a little lost, she stepped off of the curb and started walking away. She wandered aimlessly for a while, no destination in mind. She lost track of time. She kept waiting to wake up covered in sweat, Ali holding her and assuring her that she was just having a bad dream. When that didn’t happen, things started to sink in. She felt her emotions slowly bubbling to the surface.

It wasn’t until she was sitting down in front of her father’s grave that she realized she’d subconsciously walked to the cemetery. She sat in silence, staring at his headstone, reading the inscription on it over and over again.

 _Wayne Fields_  
_Colonel_  
_United States Army_

_“When you go home, tell them of us and say for their tomorrow, we gave our today.”_

She ran her fingers across the cool granite, staring at it…wondering why and how she had come to be out here. She didn’t have to think about it for long before she remembered that it was in her nature to go to her dad when she was struggling to keep her head above water. He’d always encouraged her to face her fears. She could recall standing on a diving board overlooking the deep end of a pool when she was three years old. She didn’t have her arm floaties on. She’d wanted to try swimming without them. Her father, always one to support her, was waiting for her in the water. She’d gotten scared at the last minute, but instead of letting her back down her dad assured her that she would be okay…that he was there to catch her. So Emily pushed herself to jump and landed right in her father’s arms, squealing and giggling. That was the last day she’d ever had to wear floaties in the pool.

She felt like she was that timid three-year-old again, afraid of jumping, but her dad wasn’t there to catch her anymore. She sighed. She just wanted to hear her dad’s voice, to be safe in his arms, and for him to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

“Dad, I…” Her throat was so tight with emotions she thought it might completely close shut. “I wish you were here.” He always knew what to say to make her feel better. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just…” Her eyes drifted down. She put her palm against the ground, hoping that touching it might make her feel closer to him. She blinked away some of her tears. “If you’re really watching over me, then you heard.”

_Thirty percent._

She could hear the doctor’s words echoing over and over again in her head.

“I thought I had a shot…that Ali and I had a shot.” She was still holding on to a tiny thread of hope that maybe they still did, that maybe she _would_ overcome the odds. “If I thought for one second that I didn’t, I never would have dragged her into this. I wouldn’t…” She choked, her voice squeaked. “I wouldn’t have let her fall in love with me.” Because that would have been easier than knowing how much it would devastate Ali to lose her.

But then she thought about all the moments they had shared since Emily had been back. She thought about waking up and getting lost in her crystal blue eyes. She thought about all the times Alison’s voice had brought her back into reality. She thought about how she always subconsciously knew Alison was holding her in her sleep, guiding her through the dark depths of her mind. She thought about the curves of Alison’s body, her perfect skin, the smell of her, the taste of her. She thought about Alison’s touch, her petite hands all over her body and the way she became completely undone in Alison’s arms. And she thought about the way she could feel Alison all around her, inside of her…body and soul. The way Emily felt when she was with Alison was as close to heaven on earth as she’d ever get. Every moment with her had been absolute bliss. She wouldn’t trade that for anything. Was the world really cruel enough to take them away from one another?

Emily looked at her father’s headstone again, unable to read the words anymore because her eyes were blurry from her tears. She huffed out a quiet cry.

“I don’t want to do this anymore, dad,” she said helplessly. “I _can’t_ do this anymore. I’m twenty-three years old. I don’t want to die.” She starved off her tears. “This isn’t fair…to me, to mom, to Ali. To anyone. This wasn’t supposed to happen. After everything that happened in high school I was supposed to get another shot at life. This isn’t…I don’t…” She shook her head. “Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?”

In her life, she’d learned that the world loved to dangle a shred of happiness in front of her…making her work for it, only to jerk it away at the last minute. It had happened when she’d had a glimmer of hope after Ali’s disappearance, only to have that hope ripped away from her when a body was found at Ali’s house. It had happened after she’d reconnected with Maya, only to have her taken away from her in such a violent and devastating manner. It had happened when she had a shot at a swimming scholarship, only to be sidelined indefinitely by her shoulder injury. It had happened when she got Ali back in high school, only to have a wedge driven between them because of _A_. It had happened when she thought she’d finally get the chance to do something worthwhile with her life, only to be sidelined by her dad’s death and her health problems. It happened all the time.

Emily felt herself let go, her tears finally flowing freely. Her entire body shook as she let everything out. She knew she needed to cry, but a part of her still hated it. She especially hated crying in public. She didn’t like anyone to see her fall apart. But as she sat there in front of her dad’s grave, weeping, she realized she didn’t care anymore. She had bigger problems to worry about.

“Emily?” She heard a familiar voice behind her.

It was her mother. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Pam walking up with a fresh bundle of flowers in her hands. Emily tried to wipe away her tears, but she wasn’t quick enough.

“Oh, sweetie…” Pam rushed to her side.

She dropped the flowers and fell to her knees beside Emily. She cupped her face. Emily lost it, sobs wracking her entire body. Pam pulled her in for a hug, running her hand through Emily’s hair while trying to soothe her. Emily wrapped her arms around her mother, not realizing just how much she had needed her at that very moment until she was leaning into her body. She felt her mom gently rubbing her back like she’d done when Emily was a kid and she’d had a nightmare. As she sat there inhaling the scent of her mother’s perfume she realized that hiding this secret from her was too hard. She couldn’t keep it to herself anymore. She wanted her mom. She _needed_ her.

 _It has to be now._ She told herself. _You have to tell her._

Otherwise, she might not ever be able to say it to her. She swallowed hard, looking at her dad’s grave.

_I need your help here, dad. Make me not afraid. Please help me be brave._

Emily settled in her mother’s arms. She felt an odd sense of calmness in the air. Pam hadn’t missed how still her daughter had become. She pulled back and wiped away some of her tears. Emily looked at her, not even trying to hide her pain anymore. She was done hiding. Pam could see the bleak look on her face. She had seen Emily struggle before, but never like this. There was a look in Emily’s eyes that she had never seen before. It frightened her.

“Mom,” Emily said, her voice completely controlled and calm now. “I have to tell you something.” She pulled out of her embrace. “And…I need you not to freak out.”

She knew that she was asking the impossible, but she asked anyway. She stood up, offering her mother her hand to help her stand as well. She wordlessly led Pam over to a bench a few feet away from her dad’s headstone. They sat down.

“Honey, you’re scaring me.” Pam furrowed her brow, her forehead crinkling in concern.

Emily took a few seconds to gather her thoughts. She didn’t know where to start…or what to say.

“Em…” Pam took her daughter’s hands. She could feel Emily shaking. “Emily, look – look at me. What’s wrong?”

Emily blew out a breath and just started from the beginning.

“Dad’s death isn’t the only reason that I lost my way in California.”

“What do you mean?” Pam asked in confusion.

“I’m sick, mom.” She closed her eyes and heaved out a sigh.

“What?” Pam felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. “Emily…” Her voice caught in her throat, her mouth hung open, her lips trembling.

“About six months ago I started having these dizzy spells. I didn’t think anything of it. I just thought…I don’t know, I was working so much that I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep or something. But then I passed out at work one day, and I woke up in the ER. They told me they were running some standard tests. I didn’t think it was anything to worry about.” She took a breath, trying to stay calm. “But…it was. It – it’s my heart.” Her lips were quivering, but she managed to keep from crying.

One of Pam’s hands slipped away from Emily’s as she brought it up to her mouth, her fingers landing on her parted lips, her breath coming out in uneven rasps.

“That’s – that can’t be…it’s a mistake – it has to be.” Pam shook, tears in her eyes. “You’ve been healthy your entire life. We never missed any of your doctor’s appointments. All those physicals you had…they…they would have seen it, they would have…”

“It’s easy to miss. They wouldn’t have known to look unless I was symptomatic,” Emily explained.

“But…”

Pam didn’t know what to say. Her heart was breaking. The thought of something happening to Emily terrified her. Losing her only child was a notion that she couldn’t process. It made her feel cold and hollow inside. She looked at her daughter, silently begging to switch places with her. If she could give her life for Emily’s, she would do it in a heartbeat. Emily didn’t deserve this. Emily was supposed to live a long and healthy life.

“What are…what are the options? Treatments? Medications…” Pam could barely speak. “Surgery?” She was surprised she was still conscious. She felt faint.

Emily couldn’t answer, so instead she just shook her head, tears gleaming in her eyes. She watched as devastation flooded her mother’s eyes. A million different emotions flashed across her face in a matter of seconds. Emily had never seen her mother look so broken, not even when her dad died. Losing Emily was Pam’s worst nightmare. All Emily could think about was her mother saying _‘no parent should have to outlive their child_. _’_

“Oh, honey…” Pam squeezed Emily’s hands, her hands shaking as much as Emily’s now.

“I wanted to tell you.” Emily’s voice cracked with emotion. “I just didn’t know how. I knew how much it was going to hurt you, and I didn’t want to hurt you. Losing dad was hard enough, and I just couldn’t…” She looked up, trying to hold in her tears.

Pam couldn’t form words to respond, so instead she put her arms around Emily and pulled her in to her body, hugging her tightly…never wanting to let her go. Emily wrapped her arms around her mother.

“Telling you makes it real,” Emily cried, “and…I don’t want it to be real. I’m scared, mom.”

She was petrified. Pam could feel her daughter trembling. Everything that Emily had told her was slowly sinking in and Pam felt herself starting to breathe heavily, tears rolling down her cheeks. Emily tried to pull away so she could check on her, but Pam only held her tighter. Pam was terrified, but so was her daughter…and she knew that she had to put aside her own pain to guide Emily through hers.

“I’m here, Emmy. I’ve got you,” she said through her tears.

That was enough to make Emily break. It was all she needed to hear for the waterworks to start again. She cried into her mother’s shoulder, telling her everything that she’d been through. As she listened to her daughter’s struggles, Pam felt like her soul was being ripped away from her. By the time everything was out in the open, both of them were cried out. Pam managed to gather her emotions enough to drive them back home where she promptly made them some tea.

She sat down with Emily on the couch. Emily laid down, putting her head in her mother’s lap. After a little while she fell asleep. It was only when Emily was asleep that Pam started to cry again. Thoughts of her daughter’s childhood ran through her mind. When she saw Emily she still saw the same giggly baby who had been so proud of herself when she crawled into a box all by herself. She’d sat up and clapped happily. She thought of Emily’s first smile, her first laugh, her first word, her first steps. Pam lifted her head and fought back a sob. When she realized she couldn’t hold it in any longer, she gently slipped away from Emily, careful not to wake her. Much like her daughter, Pam didn’t like to let anyone see her fall apart. So she disappeared into her room. She walked over to her dresser and put her palms flat against it, her body shaking. She lowered her head and cried, holding on to the wood for support.

After she let everything out, she went back into the living room. Emily was still asleep, so Pam sat down in her husband’s old recliner. She stared at a photo of Emily and Wayne until she fell asleep.

When Emily woke up she saw her mother curled up in the chair in the living room. She shot up off of the couch, realizing for the first time that she’d let the day get away from her.

“Crap,” she muttered as she stumbled to her feet.

She looked around for her purse and spotted it in the kitchen. She dug her phone out. It was 5:30. She had a couple of calls from an unknown number and a bunch of missed calls from Ali.

“Crap,” she said again. She knew exactly what Ali had to be thinking. She felt terrible, because the feelings that she’d had after the wreck when she couldn’t get in touch with Ali were awful.

“Em, what’s wrong?” Her mother stirred in the chair.

“I forgot to call Ali. She’s probably freaking out right now.” She walked into the living room with her things in her hands.

“How much does she know?” Pam asked.

“Enough to scare the hell out of her when I don’t pick up my phone,” Emily said. She walked over and kneeled in front of her mother. “Mom, I – I know this is a lot to process and the last thing I want to do is leave you alone right now…”

“Go.” Pam interrupted her.

“Are you sure?”

“Emily, it’s fine.” Pam leaned forward, taking her daughter’s hands in her own. “If it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that when you’re in love you should cherish every moment you have.” She glanced at a photo of Wayne. “You should never take a single second for granted.”

Emily looked at her, conflicted. She felt torn between her mother and Ali.

“Emily Catherine Fields, if you don’t go home to your girlfriend right now I will pull out all of your potty training videos and invite your friends over to marathon them with me.” She threatened.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

They shared a warm smile.

“I love you.” Emily kissed her mother’s knuckles before pulling away from her.

“Hey,” Pam reached for her again. Emily took her hand. “We’re going to get through this. We have options.”

Emily nodded weakly. She grabbed her phone and called Ali as she was walking out the door. It rang, then went to voicemail.

“Hey, Ali, I’m so sorry. I’m on my way home right now. I’ll explain everything when I get there.”

She had gotten about halfway there when she noticed there was a car following her. She glanced back and saw it was slowly approaching her. Alarm bells went off in her head. She started to run, but before she could sprint down the road, the car pulled up beside her and the passenger’s side window came down. Mona waved to her with an expression that said _I mean you no harm_.

“Mona, what the hell?” Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “You know, after everything we’ve been through I would think you’d be a little more considerate about not creeping around in the shadows.”

“Yell at me later.” Mona leaned over the console and opened the passenger’s side door. “Come on. Get in.”

“Sorry, I don’t get into cars with strangers.”

“Very funny.” Mona rolled her eyes. “Hanna called me. The girls have been trying to reach you for hours.”

“I have to go home. Ali’s waiting for me…”

“Ali’s not at home. She’s at the police precinct. All of the girls are.”

“What?” Emily was in the car and had the door shut in half a second. “Why? What happened?”

“Tanner dragged them in for questioning. She was looking for you, too.” She started driving down the road.

“Yeah, she likes to gather us all like cattle before she goes in for the slaughter.” Emily muttered.

“She apparently has something solid,” Mona said. “Listen, far be it from me to judge any of you, but…did one of you _actually_ kill Charlotte?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Emily glared at her.

“Ease up with the death stare, thug life. I just need to know everything if I’m going to be able to help.”

“Help with what?”

“I don’t know yet. All Hanna said was, and I quote, ‘Find Emily and get her sorry ass to this station before I lose my temper and bitch slap one of these Barney Fife motherfu…’”

“Okay, I get the gist.” Emily nodded. “Why aren’t you being questioned?” She lifted her brow curiously.

“Because _I_ had enough sense to keep my distance from Alison and Charlotte after Charlotte was released.”

“It’s not like we sought her out,” Emily replied. “Besides, you’re the one who hired an inside man to get Intel.” She reminded her. “Speaking of, any word on Sara?”

She saw Mona’s grip tighten on the steering wheel. That answered her question. Emily couldn’t tell if Mona was more upset by the fact that Sara was out there posing a danger to Emily and the girls or if it was because Sara had been crafty enough to elude her.

“No, the she-devil is still MIA,” Mona said angrily through her teeth.

“Fantastic.” Emily leaned back against the headrest and rubbed her temple. She sighed.

“You okay, hun?” Mona asked.

“Huh?” Emily blinked and then shook her head. “Oh, yeah.”

Mona glanced at her like she didn’t believe her, but Emily just shrugged it off. When they got to the station Mona pulled up across the street.

“You have arrived at your destination,” Mona said in a chipper tone. “We know you have a choice in Uber-Airlines and those of us at Vanderwaal Inc would like to thank you for choosing the Mona-Mobile.”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you take payment in the form of snark?” Emily questioned with a smile.

“Sweetie, that’s the only currency I know the exchange rate in.” She winked. “Forward it to me later. I can’t risk being seen here with you.”

“Way to make a girl feel special.” Emily reached for the door.

She thanked Mona and then walked across the street and into the station. She heard a familiar voice carrying down the hallway.

“You have no right to hold them!”

“With all due respect, Mr. DiLaurentis, this is a murder investigation. I have every right,” Tanner replied calmly. “Where is that file I asked for?” There was a shuffling noise and then Tanner added, “And for God’s sake, someone find Fields and bring her in!”

Emily caught a glimpse of Tanner disappearing into a restricted hallway as she rounded the corner. Jason kicked a garbage can in frustration, sending debris flying everywhere.

“Jason?” Emily timidly walked up behind him.

“Emily, hey.” The anger on his face dissipated for a brief second.

He looked at the mess he’d made on the ground and then sighed as he leaned down to clean it up. Emily bent down to help him.

“What’s going on?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know. They just barged in on us while we were at lunch and hauled Ali down here. I’ve tried to get answers, but no one will talk to me. Ezra and Caleb tried, too, but the cops won’t budge. Toby is on the phone trying to get in touch with one of Spencer’s mother’s friends from law school.” He pushed the garbage can upright and then stood up. He helped Emily to her feet. “Hell of a way to run into each other again, huh?”

“Wouldn’t be Rosewood without a reunion in a police station.” Emily laughed nervously.

Jason laughed, too.

“How’ve you been, Em?”

Emily tried to get a read on his face. She wondered how much Ali had told him.

“Oh, you know. Another day, another death-defying situation.” She shrugged.

Jason opened his mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by someone calling Emily’s name. When they turned around they saw an officer staring at her.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m a wanted woman.”

“Tell the girls we’re working on it, okay?” Jason asked.

Emily nodded and then walked over to the police officer. He led her through a restricted door and took her to a hallway with a line of chairs. He directed her to sit down.

“Wait here,” he said.

“What? No shackles? What if I try to run?”

The cop just rolled his eyes and walked away. A few seconds later another cop came down the hallway with Ali by his side. Ali saw Emily, her expression a mixture of annoyance and relief. She sat down next to Emily. She waited until her police escort walked around the corner and then turned to Emily.

“You were supposed to call me.” Ali frowned. “Where the hell were you? I’ve been freaking out here. If I find out that you were off chasing _A_ again…”

“I wasn’t. I promise. I’ll explain everything at home,” Emily said.

“No. You’ll explain everything now.”

“Ali, we’re in the middle of a police station. We’ve kind of got bigger things to worry about.”

“Ladies…” A door opened up and Tanner popped her head out. “Care to join us?”

“Now’s not really a good time.” Ali’s tone was curt.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you think this was social hour?” Tanner asked in annoyance. “Get in here, please.”

They both got up and walked into the room. They sat down at a large table in the middle of the room. A few seconds later another door opened and Hanna, Aria, and Spencer walked in. Tanner directed them to sit down.

“I bet you’re all wondering why I’ve brought you in today.”

“I’m guessing it’s not to join the Avengers Initiative,” Spencer muttered.

“Spencer,” Aria uttered in a disapproving tone. Emily could see that she was nervous.

“You haven’t been returning my calls, Miss DiLaurentis.” Tanner looked at her suspiciously.

“I’ve been a little busy…trying not to die and all.” Ali snapped back

“Yes, I heard about the wreck. Tragic. Are your students okay?”

“How about we skip the pleasantries and you just tell us what we’re doing here?” Ali replied.

“Fair enough.” Tanner nodded. She walked over to a box on the wall and pushed a button, turning on a television screen. “Some intriguing new evidence has come to light.” She hit another button and suddenly they were looking at Sara Harvey, her eyes staring right at them.

Tanner played the video for them.

“So, Miss Harvey, walk me through that night again.” They could hear Tanner’s voice off-screen.

“Charlotte called me in a panic that night,” Sara said.

“Charlotte called you the night she was killed?” Tanner clarified.

“Yes. That’s correct.”

“But why would she call you? I thought that she tortured you…manipulated you? Isn’t that what you told the judge five years ago?”

“Charlotte was…” Sara mulled it over. Emily stared at the screen. She recognized the calculating look in her eyes. “…complicated. And my relationship with her is… _was_ …equally as complicated.”

“Your relationship?”

“After my accident…” she glanced down at her hands, a steely smirk on her face that only Emily caught, “…I learned to let go of the past. When I was well enough I went to see Charlotte in Welby. I wanted her to know that I forgave her. She was beyond grateful. She never got any visitors other than her sister and the doctors and nurses. We struck up a friendship. I know it sounds odd, but I could see that she was different. She wasn’t the same _monster_ who had us locked up in that bunker.”

Emily saw Ali cringe and she reached underneath the table and grabbed her hand. Ali looked at her with a sad appreciative smile.

“Charlotte and I…we understood one another. We kept in touch through letters and I would visit her occasionally. We even made plans to go to dinner after she was released.”

“What can you tell us about her release?”

“She seemed apprehensive about it. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she needed anything. I wasn’t expecting her to call me for help the first night she was out. She called me freaking out, talking about running away. I tried to talk her down from it. I told her not to do anything rash. I told her that I was going to get the first flight out from Atlanta that I could. I told her to wait. But she had it in her mind that she had to get away. She sounded…” She pursed her lips in thought. “…scared. She said she had spoken to another friend earlier that night, someone at the hotel, I think?”

“Did she tell you who she spoke to?”

“No ma’am. All she said was that she was making plans to get away from…” She stopped short.

“Away from what, Miss Harvey?”

“Not what. Who.”

“Who was it that Charlotte DiLaurentis was so afraid of?”

The Sara on screen paused and glanced directly into the camera.

“Alison DiLaurentis.”

Hanna and Aria both sucked in surprised gasps. Spencer glanced at Ali. Emily squeezed Ali’s hand.

“Her sister?”

“That’s such bull.” Hanna was the first one to pipe up.

“There’s more, but I think you get the point.” Tanner shut the TV off. “She’s willing to testify in a court of law.”

“No jury would believe her. She’s a lying sociopath.” Spencer growled.

“I would be inclined to believe you...” Tanner nodded. “...if we didn’t have video footage of Miss DiLaurentis parking outside _The Radley_ the night Charlotte was killed.” She faced Ali.

This revelation shocked the girls, especially Emily, who had been over that security footage dozens of times. How had they missed that?

“Did you follow her there?” Tanner asked.

“You don’t have to answer her.” Spencer cut in. She faced Tanner. “She wants a lawyer.”

“You want to know what _I_ think?” Tanner asked. “I think Charlotte did talk to Sara that night. Why she went to the hotel has still yet to be determined, but it’s clear that you knew exactly where she was, Alison. You never mentioned that once in any of your interviews.”

Emily’s foot started twitching as she tried to control the anger building up inside her. How dare this woman come after Ali like this? She was ready to leap over the table and punch her.

“As far as the glove that Miss Fields here found…”

Emily glared at her. She felt Ali squeezing her hand, trying to keep her from doing something stupid.

“…we believe it belonged to Charlotte.”

“Yeah, because I _told_ you it did.” Ali snapped.

“Ali, stop talking.” Spencer warned her.

“We found fibers that indicated she was wearing gloves the night she was killed. But when we found her body, she wasn’t wearing gloves. We have a theory that those gloves might have had forensic DNA on them that could lead us to her killer. I believe that when you found the glove, you girls conspired to get rid of the evidence to protect the guilty party.” Her gaze stopped on Ali.

“Ali is the one who called about the glove in the first place. Why would she do that if we were trying to hide it?” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Hanna, be quiet.” Aria shushed her just as Spencer was opening her mouth to do the same thing.

“I have been working _with_ the police to try and help you find my sister’s killer. If you and your idiot flunkies actually think that I…”

“Ali.” Spencer shook her head vehemently.

“I have been nothing but cooperative!” Ali yelled, tears of rage stinging her eyes.

“Could be a ruse to throw us off.” Tanner shrugged.

“Are we being charged with anything?” Emily piped in bluntly.

“Excuse me?” Tanner looked at her, offended that Emily was interrupting her line of questioning.

“What you’re doing is harassment.” Emily stared her down.

“What I’m doing, Miss Fields, is my job.”

“Well, then do your job and let us have a lawyer.” Spencer spit, quickly backing Emily up.

Tanner stared at them for a few minutes, but then she relented.

“A lawyer won’t be necessary,” Tanner said. “Not yet.” She rolled her tongue over her lips in thought. “You ladies sit tight. I’ve got to get some paperwork sorted out.”

As soon as she walked out of the room, Hanna turned to Ali.

“How could you not tell us you came to the hotel that night?” she asked quietly.

“Why would I? I didn’t even go in.” Ali confirmed that it was true.

“Ali, Charlotte tortured us…” Aria was inclined to agree with Hanna. “We deserved to know she was in the same building as us. What if something had happened?”

“Guys, ease up,” Emily said.

“No, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Aria said apologetically. “I just…why would you even put us in that position?”

“How did they get the security footage in the first place? Caleb told me…”

“Shh.” Spencer quickly shut Hanna up. “Just let me think. I’ve got to figure out a way to get us out of this.”

“I can fake a heart attack,” Emily suggested.

“No,” Ali said firmly. “The last thing we need to do is invite something bad to happen to you.”

Emily swallowed a knot in her throat. She didn’t have to give the universe an invite to do something bad to her. It was already happening.

“I hate this town.” Hanna grumbled. “Do you think this was Sara’s plan all along?”

“Stop. Talking.” Spencer motioned towards the plexiglass window that was more than likely two-way glass.

So they stopped talking. They didn’t talk for the entirety of the hour that they were in there. They didn’t say anything to Tanner when she came back and told them that they were free to go for the time being, but that they were not to leave town. They all silently gathered up their things without saying a word to anyone in the precinct.

The guys were relieved to see them when they were released. Ali thanked Jason for sticking around, but she knew that he had a flight to catch, so she sent him on his way. He left, but not before he threatened to sue everyone in the police department. Emily and Ali got a ride home from Spencer, none of them saying much in the car. When they walked into the house, Ali let out a grunt of frustration and then plopped down on the couch. Emily sat down next to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me you came to the hotel that night?” Emily asked. She wasn’t mad. God knows she’d kept her fair share of secrets from Ali. But she was curious.

“I panicked when I got your message.” Ali admitted. “You sounded really upset and...I don’t know...I just felt like I needed to check on you. But when I got to the hotel I realized I was overreacting and I changed my mind. I didn’t even go in. I swear I didn’t know she was there.”

Emily rubbed Ali’s arm. She had assumed there was a simple explanation.

“You could have just told Tanner that. They could have checked my phone records to verify it,” Emily said.

“You were completely wasted. I was afraid that Tanner would twist that into her own theory and use it against you somehow,” Ali said. She glanced at Emily. “Now it’s my turn. Where were you today?”

Emily felt a pang in her chest. The day had started out so beautifully. She hadn’t expected it to come crashing down in every way. She would have cried, but she didn’t have tears left. Ali saw the look on Emily’s face and she picked up on her pain.

“Em?” She tried not to panic.

“I told my mom,” Emily said quietly. “About my heart…about everything.”

“Oh.” Ali hadn’t been expecting that.

She looked at Emily, just taking in her appearance for a moment. She saw that same look in Emily’s eyes that she’d seen earlier when they woke up. A daunting thought crossed Ali’s mind. Emily had been avoiding telling her mother for so long. What had changed?

“What pushed you to finally tell her?” She felt her voice go up an octave because of her nerves.

“I…” But Emily couldn’t revisit her doctor’s appointment. Not yet. She’d already crushed her mother today. She couldn’t crush Ali, too. “…I went to see my dad. You know, the hospital isn’t far from the cemetery.” She paused and thought about how morbid that was. “My mom showed up to bring him some fresh flowers. And I don’t know…everything just came out.”

Ali felt horrible for Pam. She knew what she was going through. She started to ask Emily if her mother was okay, but then she realized it was a stupid question. Of course Pam wasn’t okay. Ali didn’t know what to say, so instead she just slid her fingers against Emily’s palm and locked their fingers together. She stared at their intertwined hands, rolling her thumb up and down Emily’s thumb where her joint met her wrist. She felt a gentle pressure on her hand as Emily squeezed her fingers. Something about her touch felt different. There was an underlying tension that Ali could feel, a sorrow too powerful to name. All at once, Ali knew something was terribly wrong. And she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she knew what it was.

“Why didn’t you call me after your doctor’s appointment?” She looked up at Emily as she asked the question.

She saw something faint flicker in Emily’s eyes and Ali felt her pulse quicken. When Emily didn’t answer right away, Ali pulled her hand away from Emily’s and put her palms against Emily’s cheeks and gingerly pushed Emily’s face to meet her eyes.

“Emily,” her breathing increased, “what…what did the doctor say?”

Emily stared back at her, blinking slowly. She didn’t have to say a word. Her eyes gave it all away.


	28. Breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a deep breath. You’re gonna need it for the next few chapters. Also, keep in mind…angry inner British critic who hates everything I write…blah, blah, blah. Be nice…yada, yada, yada.

* * *

 

As much as Emily didn’t want to tell her, she had made a promise to her that she was done lying. And at this point, lying was a waste of time. She couldn’t smile and pretend everything was fine. So she explained everything. It was all very complicated and convoluted, but Emily tried to put it all as simply as possible. The treatments weren’t working the way they’d hoped. Her medications were only doing so much. Her heart was working too hard, causing problems with her lungs and her kidneys. A transplant wasn’t a good option.

The best chance she had was an experimental surgical procedure. The problem was that the surgery was still very new and her heart wasn’t very strong. It would be extremely risky for her. There was only a thirty percent chance she’d make it through the procedure. But it was her best…and her only option, because if she kept deteriorating her body was going to shut down. Her lungs would fill with fluid and her kidneys would fail. There were medications that could help slow the process, but that was just a temporary solution. If they didn’t fix the problem she would die.

Emily was able to explain everything without bursting into tears. In fact, she felt a strange sense of calmness as she was talking. She had cried so much after talking to the cardiologist that she didn’t have much energy left to feel sad anymore. The dam that had been barricading her emotions had collapsed, leaving her with no option but to ride the raging current. She didn’t want to waste her energy on tears anymore. But that didn’t mean she was entirely numb to the pain. When she saw the distraught look on Alison’s face she felt like she might drown in her sorrow.

“Em…” That was all Alison could get out before she started hyperventilating.

Alison put her palm against the nape of Emily’s neck, pulling her towards her. She pushed her forehead against Emily’s. Emily saw her close her eyes to try and stop her tears, but it was no use. Emily felt Alison’s heated breath against her face when she exhaled a quiet sob. For the second time in twenty-four hours, Emily watched someone she loved very dearly cry over her. It was worse than the feeling of death looming over her. It struck a part of her soul that she couldn’t soothe.

Not many words were exchanged between them that night. Just when Alison thought she was done crying, she’d start again. And Emily would hold her until she stopped. It went on for hours, until Alison finally cried herself to sleep in their bed in Emily's arms. Emily stayed up watching her, tenderly caressing her face. Occasionally Alison would let out a quiet whimper. Every time she cried out Emily would kiss her right temple and Alison would calm down. After a while, Emily couldn’t hold her eyes open anymore.

Unfortunately, she woke up in the dollhouse. When she opened her eyes she was sitting at a table in a tiny room staring at a tinted glass window. Her legs were shackled to a metal chair. Her palms were face down beside a red button. Bells chimed and suddenly she heard,

_“Game time.”_

A light went on behind the tinted window and she saw Spencer looking back at her. She was hooked up to a bunch of electrodes and wires that ran into a machine next to her. Spencer stared back at Emily, her eyes wide.

“Spencer?” Emily gasped.

To her surprise, Spencer reacted to her voice.

“Emily!” She exclaimed.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Emily questioned.

“Uh…yeah. I…I think so.” She didn’t sound convincing. “What about you?”

“I don’t know,” Emily answered honestly. She felt like she was starting to lose her mind. She wasn’t sure how long they’d been held hostage. She didn’t know what day of the week it was or if it was night or day. She was sick of the games. She looked down at the button, knowing exactly what it did. If she pushed it, she would hurt Spencer.

_“You have sixty seconds to push the button.”_ An animatronic voice ordered. Emily heard a whirring sound. _“Choose or lose. Choose to push the button, or lose all your oxygen.”_

“No,” Emily said defiantly.

The pressure in the room started to change. She could feel the air being sucked away. Her ears started ringing and she started to feel faint.

_“Thirty seconds remaining.”_

Emily’s fingers curled up against the table. Her legs stiffened. She could feel herself starting to get woozy. Her eyelids fluttered and her eyes started to roll back into her head.

“Just do it, Emily!” Spencer cried.

“No.” Emily huffed out. She was afraid of how high the voltage hooked up to Spencer was.

“Push the damn button or you’ll die!” Spencer yelled.

_“Twenty seconds.”_

“Emily!” Spencer jerked against her restraints. She saw Emily passing out. Her eyes found the camera on the wall. “Stop!” She screamed frantically. “Do what you want to me! Shock me! I don’t care! Just stop! You’re going to kill her!”

_“Five seconds.”_

“Stop!” Spencer continued yelling. “Stop it!”

_“Game over.”_

Emily could hear Spencer calling out her name, but she couldn't respond. She couldn’t breathe. She slumped forward, shaking. Her head felt heavy on her body. She was sure she was dead, but if that was the case then why could she still feel her body shaking?

She opened her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. She stared at Ali’s ceiling as she came down from the dream. It took a moment for her to realize that it wasn’t her shaking. It was Ali. She rolled over and saw Ali’s back to her. She could hear her trying to contain her cries. Emily reached out and put her hand on Ali’s arm. Ali rolled over so that she was facing her. Emily could see her tear-stained face glistening in the moonlight.

“Hey…” Emily wiped a tear away with her thumb. “It’s okay.”

Ali put her hand on Emily’s face, her palm drenched from her tears.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Ali’s voice was hoarse from crying. “I’d rather die.”

“Don’t say that.” Emily frowned, her hand falling to Ali’s neck, her voice more serious than Ali had ever heard it. “Don’t ever talk like that, Alison.”

It was only in the wake of being faced with death that Emily truly appreciated how precious life was, even the hard parts. Life was made up of both good things and bad things, and as hard as it was for Emily to waver the punches that life kept throwing at her, she refused to let the bad moments ruin the good ones. She knew that life wasn’t something to be taken for granted. And she was going to fight like hell to live it.

“I really thought we were going to get a happy ending.” Ali’s voice faltered.

“It’s not over yet.” Emily tried to reassure her, though she had doubts herself.

Ali sighed. Her girl was forever the optimist. Ali had a harder time seeing anything but the reality of the situation. She knew deep down that Emily knew the reality they were facing, too, yet she was still looking for the light in the darkness. That was the beauty to Emily. That’s why Ali was in love with her.

“Still hoping?” Ali asked skeptically.

“It’s all I’ve got left,” Emily admitted. She leaned forward and kissed away another tear on Alison’s cheek.

“I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you,” Ali said weakly, almost like she was ashamed of herself for feeling her grief.

“You have been.” Emily reminded her. “You deserve a break. Let me take the wheel for a bit. It’s my turn.” She ran her hand up Alison’s jaw, cupping her cheek.

Alison closed her eyes, relishing Emily’s touch. She couldn’t imagine never feeling Emily’s soft skin again. Emily’s affection is the very thing that had softened her heart and molded her into the woman she was today.

“I can’t live without you, Emily,” she cried, her eyes still shut as she tried to hold in her tears.

“Ali, open your eyes. I’m here.” Emily ran her fingers through Ali’s blonde locks and moved closer to her. “I’m right here.”

Alison slowly opened her eyes, finding Emily’s eyes peering directly into hers. She felt like Emily was looking in to her soul. She was so close she could feel Emily’s eyelashes creating a gentle draft against her skin every time she blinked. Alison rubbed her thumb against Emily’s face, maintaining her gaze. When she looked at Emily, _really_ looked at her she could feel everything. She could feel Emily’s heart and her soul. She could feel her every thought, her every fear, her every emotion. She could feel how deeply Emily loved, not just loved her…but loved in general. She lived her life with her heart. She always had.

They leaned in at the same time, their lips molding together like an intricate work of art, their movements like beautiful shapes and colors merging to create a beautiful picture. Their motions were slow and tender, a mixture of desire and despair. Emily sensed Alison’s frantic need to hold on to her like it was the last moment she’d ever have with her. She put her hand against the side of Alison’s neck and gently pulled back.

“Hey, listen to me,” Emily put her other hand against Alison’s face, wanting desperately to take away her pain. “I’m with you. I am _always_ with you. I have been since the day we met. My heart has always been yours, Ali. And it always will be.”

Alison nodded, blinking away tears. She pressed her lips against Emily’s again. She stroked Emily’s face as she pushed against her, still fighting back her tears. They lost themselves in one another, wanting to capture every breath. Every feeling. Every touch. Every kiss.

Emily’s fingers slowly drifted down to Alison’s night gown, unbuttoning the front of it as she trailed her way down. Alison helped her get it off, their mouths never breaking apart. The cool air on Alison’s body was quickly replaced by Emily’s warm embrace. Emily’s hand came to rest between Alison’s thighs, feeling a burning heat through her underwear. She felt Alison’s hand brush up against hers, encouraging her to continue. Emily slid her hands under the trim of Alison’s panties and delicately pulled them down, feeling Alison squirming to help her get them off.

Emily felt Alison tugging at her shirt and she brought her hands up, lifting her arms to help Alison pull it over her head, both of them hating the brief loss of contact. Alison looked at Emily’s chest, still able to see her fading bruises. Suddenly, all Alison could think about was watching her die. She let out a saddened sigh as she lightly touched the blemishes with her fingers. Emily saw her eyes filling up with tears again.

“Don’t cry.” Emily pushed her mouth delicately against Alison’s neck, placing kisses along the underside of her ear. She pulled back, looking into Alison’s eyes. “Just be with me, okay? Here. Now.”

Alison obliged, grabbing both sides of Emily’s neck and pulled her lips to meet hers. She kissed her with every ounce of feeling she had. Her hands slid down Emily’s shoulders and trailed in between their bodies, her palms landing on Emily’s breasts. Emily moaned softly when Alison started to massage her delicate skin, her fingers and palms working like a skilled sculptor turning Emily’s body into a magical work of art. Emily ran her fingers across Alison’s bare back, her index finger slipping down her spine, making Alison tingle in pleasure.

Alison pulled her lips away from Emily’s, eliciting a cry of confusion. But then she dipped her head down and gently placed a kiss in between Emily’s breasts. She kissed every inch of Emily’s chest and then worked her way up to her neck, finally landing on her lips again. Alison’s hands started to drift down until she reached the top of Emily’s pajama bottoms. Emily read her motions and reached down to help her peel off the thin layer of clothing that was separating them. She kicked the pants off and into the floor. Emily slid her hand up along Alison’s outer thigh and stopped at her hip, her fingers lightly tickling her skin. Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s and then gently pulled it away from her hip, bringing both of their hands up in between them.

Emily saw Alison look at her heart monitor. Alison stopped her motions, and for a moment Emily thought Alison’s fear would get the better of her. But when Emily looked again she saw a different expression in Alison’s eyes. Every other time Emily had seen her look at the small watch, she’d seemed intimidated by it. But now Alison was looking at it with a certain conviction in her eyes. Her fingers grasped the band. She glanced at Emily and then she slid it off of her wrist. They didn’t need a reminder of the pain in their lives. Not now. Not at this moment. Alison didn’t want anything between her and Emily. She wanted her completely undressed.

Alison pulled Emily’s hand up to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on her wrist, feeling her pulse beating against her lips. She gently kissed every single one of her knuckles, her lips like feathers dancing across Emily’s skin. Emily uncurled her fingers and they brushed against the bottom of Alison’s chin. She rubbed Alison’s cheek with her fingers, her thumb hooking against the edge of Alison’s lip. Alison pushed her lips against Emily’s once more, feeling Emily’s mouth part slightly. Their tongues twirled around in a dance, a tango in which there was no clear leader.

Emily ran her fingers in between Alison’s perfect bust and expertly fondled each breast, making sure to give them equal attention. Emily pushed forward, gently rolling Alison over on to her back, their bodies pressed firmly together. Alison could feel Emily’s heart beating against her bare chest. She never wanted it to stop. Alison curled her arm around her waist, trying to pull her closer. She felt Emily shift, pushing her thigh in between Alison’s legs. Alison shuddered at the contact. Emily rubbed against her and Alison responded in kind. Emily lightly tugged at Alison’s bottom lip with her teeth, holding it for a few seconds before she let go and started kissing her way along Alison’s jaw. She showered Alison’s face with kisses, still able to taste the salt from her tears. She wanted to wipe away any trace of sadness Alison was feeling.

Emily felt Alison’s breath against her ear as Alison lavished her neck with kisses. Emily dipped down to kiss Alison’s collarbone, skimming her hot tongue across Alison’s skin. Alison’s body seized as she took in a shocked breath because of how intoxicating it felt to have Emily’s tongue against her bare skin. Emily shifted her legs, settling over Alison’s hips. Alison felt Emily grind down against her and she bucked into her motions. Emily snaked her hand between their bodies and grazed Alison’s inner thigh, her fingers slowly working their way up as their hips rolled together in perfect rhythm.

When Emily finally touched her she almost cried out, but the noise came out as a stifled moan. Emily’s fingers felt perfect. Emily was perfect. Alison had a million thoughts running through her mind, but she couldn’t vocalize them. She loved Emily. She loved everything about her. She loved her kindness. She loved her determination. She loved her gentle nature. She loved her passion. She loved her touch and her smell and the way Emily made her feel. And she loved that the only person in the world who could render her completely speechless was Emily Fields.

Instead of responding with words, Alison let her body do the talking. She grabbed Emily’s cheek with her free hand, trying to guide Emily’s lips away from her neck and up to her face. She wanted to see Emily’s beautiful eyes looking into hers. Emily kissed her way up Alison’s jaw and lightly brushed her mouth against Alison’s, her pace never faltering for a second. Alison tilted her chin down and pushed her forehead firmly against Emily’s, both of them breathing hard. She got lost in Emily’s eyes. Her eyes were as exhilarating as her touch. Alison could see so much love in them. She could feel how much Emily loved her. Alison let out a shaky breath. She could feel her. All of her. Emily’s movements were like an extension of her personality: driven, but kind. Emily was thoughtful in every sense of the word.

Their bodies were completely in sync, each anticipating the other’s movements with perfect clarity. Alison matched Emily’s motions, throwing her hips forward, writhing underneath her, her fingers pressed firmly against Emily’s cheek. Emily’s face was hot to the touch. Alison could see her face gleaming with sweat. She could feel Emily’s chest heaving against hers. Alison’s breathing started to quicken as Emily’s touch took her to a place outside of herself. Alison brought her other hand up to Emily’s shoulder, her arm wrapped tightly around her back, her fingernails digging into Emily’s skin.

She craned her neck against her pillow and arched her back into the love her life. She cried out as waves of pleasure rolled over her. Her body froze in ecstasy. Her eyes fluttered closed for a brief second, but she quickly forced herself to pry them back open so she could look into Emily’s eyes. Emily’s gaze was focused and intense, but her expression was tender and soft. Alison relaxed against the bed, never taking her eyes off of Emily. Emily leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips and then nuzzled her face against Alison’s cheek. For several glorious minutes, Alison forgot everything. But when her thoughts returned to her, a harsh voice in her head reminded her:

_Thirty percent._

“Em…” Alison’s voice was quiet. Her body was still quivering, though now mostly out of fear of losing Emily.

“I’m here, Ali,” Emily whispered against her ear, out of breath.

Emily kissed her shoulder, then her neck, and then she swept her lips across Alison’s lips, lingering there until she felt Alison settle down. When Emily pulled away Alison curled her arm and pressed her palm against Emily’s chest, feeling her heart thumping wildly against her hand. And as much as she tried to keep her emotions from tumbling out, Alison couldn’t hold it in anymore. She felt a tear slide down her cheek.

“I love you, Emily.” She pulled Emily’s face back to her lips again before Emily could see that she was crying.

Alison curled her legs into Emily’s and propped herself up using her elbow, pushing against Emily until she felt her rolling over on to her back. Alison laid against her, careful to keep her full weight off of Emily’s ribs. She buried her face into Emily’s neck, still trying to hide her tears.

“I love you,” she said again, this time a soft murmur as she kissed her cheek.

Emily felt something trickle down her jaw and she realized that Alison was crying. She put her hand against the side of Alison’s head, her thumb rubbing against the wetness under Alison’s left eye. Emily slid her other hand across Alison’s stomach and it came to rest on her side.

“Alison, look at me,” Emily said.

Knowing she couldn’t hide her grief from the person who knew her best in the world, Alison complied. She pulled back and looked at her.

“I am right in front of you. You have me.” Emily wiped her tears away and then leaned up and kissed her.

Alison could taste the mixture of Emily’s sweat and her tears swirling in her mouth. On instinct, she laid her palm against Emily’s cheek and brushed away some of the beads of perspiration that had gathered on her face. She could feel Emily’s harsh breathing against her mouth. She could tell by Emily’s sluggish movements that she’d tired herself out, though she knew that Emily was too stubborn to ever admit that out loud. But Emily couldn’t fool Alison. Alison knew Emily’s body better than her own. She knew Emily’s endorphins were wearing off and that her pain, both physical and mental, were surfacing again.

Before Alison could ask her if she was okay, she felt Emily’s body jerk underneath her as she tried to stifle a cough. Emily felt a raspy tickle in her throat and she let out a sharp exhalation. Tears started burning her eyes. She curled her arm up and pushed her wrist against her mouth as she tried to get the coughing under control. Suddenly, she heard a voice in her head.

_“Choose or lose.”_

Emily flashed back to that horrible tiny room in the dollhouse. She remembered the look of terror on Spencer’s face. She remembered her lungs being frozen and not being able to breathe, and that made it harder for her to catch her breath. She coughed harder. Her hands started trembling. Panic seized Alison.

“Em, hey,” Alison said, trying not to let the alarm in her voice come through. “Hey, you’re okay. Take it easy. Relax. Breathe, baby.”

Emily closed her eyes, finally able to draw in a deep breath. Alison rubbed her palm against Emily’s cheek and waited for Emily’s breathing to regulate. Emily ran her hand up along Alison’s arm until her palm was on top of Alison’s fingers, holding her hand in place. After a few seconds, she lowered her hand and opened her eyes, giving Alison a faint nod to let her know that she was okay. Alison pulled away from Emily without a word and slid down her body, rolling off of her. Alison curled against her, laying her head on Emily’s chest. Emily’s skin felt like fire underneath her cheek. Emily could feel Alison’s tears dripping down her chest. Emily reached down and stroked Alison’s hair. She leaned forward to kiss the top of her head.

“What are we going to do?” Alison whimpered quietly.

“What we always do,” Emily replied calmly.

“Hope?” She guessed, knowing exactly what was on Emily’s mind.

“Hope.” Emily nodded.

“Promise me you’re going to be okay.” She put her palm against the back of Emily’s hand and laced her fingers in between Emily’s.

“I promise.” Emily lifted her hand, bringing Alison’s hand up to her lips so she could kiss her knuckles.

“Liar,” Alison scoffed, teasing her.

Alison closed her eyes, exhausted. Minutes later she was asleep, the sound of Emily’s heartbeat echoing in her ear. Emily felt herself drifting off to sleep as well. Neither of them woke up again until morning.

Emily was the first one awake, her phone beeping at her from the nightstand. Emily opened her eyes in annoyance, not ready to get up yet. When she blinked a few times to get her bearings she saw that sometime during the night they had rolled on to their sides. Emily’s body was pressed firmly against Alison’s back, her chin nuzzled against Alison’s shoulder. She had her arms wrapped tightly around Alison’s waist. Alison’s arms were on top of Emily’s holding her hands in place. Emily moved her chin and pressed her lips against Alison’s bare shoulder.

“Good morning,” Ali said, still somewhat in a sleepy daze.

She rolled over to face Emily. In the sunlight, Emily could see that Ali’s eyes were puffy and red from all of her crying and her lips were swollen from last night, but she still looked like the most beautiful person in the world to Emily. She kissed Ali and then reached for her phone, which was most likely her babysitting alarm telling her to take her medications that, as she’d found out yesterday, weren’t really that effective anymore. But she was still trying to follow the doctor’s orders. She wanted to do everything that would give her a shot at an actual future. She wanted to live. The odds were against her, but she knew she had to try.

She looked at the messages on her phone and saw a long group text thread from her friends about _A_ , Sara Harvey, and the cops. The last message was from Spencer telling them that she’d found out from Toby that something huge had happened overnight and that the police were holding a news conference at noon.

Ali slipped out of bed and put her robe on while Emily scrolled through her phone.

“What’s up?” Ali asked.

“I don’t know yet.” Emily looked up from her screen. “There’s a lot here. I’ll forward it to you.”

She typed in Ali’s number and then sent her the conversation. They heard her phone chime from the nightstand. Emily crawled out of bed and grabbed a clean shirt and pulled it over her head. She grabbed her purse, pulling out a couple of her medications. She was one shy. Ali noticed the confused look on her face.

“Everything okay?” Ali asked.

“One of my prescriptions is missing.” She dug through her purse. “I must have dropped it at my mom’s yesterday.”

“You want me to call her and ask her if she’d mind bringing it over?”

Ali’s suggestion was actually two-tiered. Obviously, they needed to get Emily’s medicine back, but Ali also wanted to check in on Pam. She hated to think that she was sitting in her big house all alone, hurting.

“She left for a training seminar in Philly this morning,” Emily replied. Pam had planned on canceling after Emily told her about her heart, but Emily refused to let her mother put her life on hold for her. “I’ll just swing by and get it later. I don’t need to take it until lunchtime.”

“Put a reminder in your phone so you don’t forget. I’ll do the same.”

Ali walked over to grab her phone. She picked it up and unlocked the screen. Emily heard an audible gasp and she spun around to face Ali. Emily was across the room a split second later.

“What’s wrong?”

Ali’s hands were shaking. Her face was teetering back and forth between fear and anger. She held her phone out to Emily, showing her the screen. Emily saw a text message from an unknown number.

_“So, you want to play, too? Well then, game on, bitch.”_

This is what Emily had been so afraid of. She knew that telling Ali about _A_ would get her sucked into the never-ending vortex of doom. When she looked up at Ali she saw that all the fear was gone and it had been replaced with total rage. She looked like she was about to explode.

“Ali?” Emily reached out and touched her arm.

“This bitch is genuinely getting on my nerves,” she huffed angrily. She glanced at Emily and then sighed. “I guess at least I got her focus off of you and on to me.”

“Or she’s just going to blow up your house with the both of us in it,” Emily murmured.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“Who’s joking?”

She wasn’t optimistic about catching Sara. If Mona “The Bloodhound” Vanderwaal couldn’t find the girl then what chance did they have?

“Call the girls,” Ali said. “We’ve got to find a way to deal with this.”

Emily nodded. She called Spencer to see if she had any more information on the press release the police had. If Sara was targeting Ali, the easiest way to get her out of the picture would be to frame her for Charlotte’s murder, which is exactly what the bitch was trying to do. Emily thought the cops were idiots for even considering it, but the police followed the evidence, not logic. And Sara had executed the whole thing beautifully. She had clearly learned more from Charlotte than she had ever let on.

Spencer told Emily that she hadn’t heard anything else about the news conference. She suggested they get together at Ali’s to watch it. Whatever it was, they were going to face it together. They had doubted Ali in her time of need in high school. They weren’t going to let her down again.

By 11:45, everyone had arrived, including the guys. It didn’t look like a single one of them had gotten any sleep. Aria sat down next to Emily and Ali on the couch, giving them the faintest of smiles. She leaned forward and shuffled her feet against the ground. Ezra sat down next to her and put his hand on top of hers to try and comfort her. She was clearly still wound up from Tanner’s interrogation. She knew that she’d end up looking the guiltiest since there was security footage of her somewhere out there of her just blocks away from where Charlotte’s body was found. Even if Elliott and the bartender were told to keep quiet by Ali, that didn’t mean _A_ wouldn’t get it and use it against her. Emily patted Aria’s knee to try and help Ezra calm her down. Spencer leaned on the armrest next to Ali, Toby standing behind her, his police uniform slightly wrinkled and his hair a bit on the wild side. Caleb and Hanna squeezed on to the loveseat, both looking exhausted, the bags under their eyes large and dark.

“So, Mona says she might have a lead on a location on where the texts are coming from.” Caleb was the first one to break the silence.

“An actual lead this time.” Hanna piped in. “Not some ‘Amish Country’ _Tales from the Crypt_ crap.”

“Yeah,” Caleb’s lips curled into a small smile as he laughed at how adorkable his wife-to-be was. “Mona and I found a way to track the cell towers where the messages are pinging from. Several of the locations popped up more than once.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you would be working with Mona Vanderwaal,” Spencer said with a hard laugh.

“The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know.” Caleb shrugged. “With my software and her…uh…stalker-brain, we’re narrowing it down. We’ve got a couple of hits. We were thinking that maybe after the press release we could split up and check a few of the places out.”

“I’m all for it. Any chance we can get to nail Sara’s psychotic butt to the wall is a chance worth taking. It’s not like Tanner will let me do anything at the station anyway.” Toby quickly volunteered.

“I’m in.” Ezra agreed.

“Guys?” Spencer looked at her friends.

“It sounds like it’s our best shot.” Aria nodded.

“If it gets me out of here and back to New York, I’ll drive the caravan,” Hanna said.

“Em?” Spencer looked at her.

Emily’s thoughts were running rampant through her head. She was still reeling from yesterday, and she was still trying to process the fact that _A_ was targeting Ali again. Her brain…and her body were hurting. She was completely overwhelmed. She felt Ali’s hand on her knee. She glanced down at it. Ali was quietly begging her to stay out of it for the sake of her health. It was a very _“I’m not going to tell you what to do, but...you’d better do what I want you to do or I’ll unleash hellfire on you”_ grip.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “Not this time.”

“What do you mean?” Hanna asked in surprise.

“I mean I’m out.” Emily kept her focus on the floor, trying not to make eye contact with her friends, hoping they wouldn’t see everything she was keeping bottled up inside.

“Okay, what’s up with you?” Spencer eyed her suspiciously.

What’s up was that she was considerably closer to dying than she was ready to admit, and she wasn’t about to let Sara lead her into another trap like the one at the graveyard. Besides, her cardiologist probably wouldn’t approve of her hunting down a psychopath. He didn’t even like it when she snuck a little caffeine. Emily didn’t feel like rehashing everything, so she just shrugged.

“I’m tired of it.” Emily sighed. “What’s the point?”

“You’ve been taking the lead on this since it first started. You were all gung-ho about it and now you’re just…not?” Spencer frowned in confusion. “Why?”

“Things change. I’m done.”

Emily’s sudden change of heart freaked Spencer out. She could tell Emily was holding something inside.

_“It’s not a death sentence, Spence.”_ Emily had said to her not even a few days ago. How quickly things changed.

Emily saw the look of realization wash across Spencer’s face. She glanced at Hanna and Aria. They hadn’t picked up on it yet. Emily silently pleaded with Spencer not to say anything. Spencer nodded slightly, her face full of dread.

“Are you sure?” Hanna asked. “I mean, I was kinda hoping we’d find her and you’d punch her again.”

That did sound enticing…

“She said she’s out,” Ali said sharply.

“Okay, jeeze, sorry.” Hanna muttered.

A news bulletin flashed across the television screen and everyone turned their attention to the TV. Tanner walked out on a stage, flanked by two uniformed officers. They all had serious looks on their faces.

“Turn it up.” Toby reached for the remote.

“As you are all aware, my department has been working tirelessly to solve the murder of Charlotte DiLaurentis. We have been gathering evidence and piecing together what happened the night she was so savagely attacked.”

Emily felt Ali shaking. She reached across her lap and took Ali’s hand. Ali laid her head on Emily’s shoulder.

“Our department has been working closely with a witness that offered us insight into what might have happened to Miss DiLaurentis the night she was killed.”

Emily clenched her jaw and ground her teeth. That ‘witness’ was a lying bitch, and it pissed her off that Tanner was willing to believe _her_ over them. She hated Sara more than anything in the world. And she hated Tanner for buying her story. She was starting to believe that Sara and Tanner were in cahoots. But then Tanner said something that changed everything,

“As of this morning, the witness in question, a one...Miss Sara Harvey...is presumed dead.”

Everyone sucked in a shocked gasp. Emily felt her stomach lurch. That text to Ali from _A_ couldn’t have come from Sara if she was dead. So then who were they dealing with? Who else cared about Charlotte enough to kill for her? Who else could have intimate knowledge about them? Who else had access to the dollhouse video? Who was torturing them?

“What did she just say?” Spencer squeaked.

“The details of her death are confidential as of now, but there is an overwhelming amount of evidence to lead us to believe that she was killed in a struggle. There is video and forensic evidence to support the idea that she was attacked and then subsequently brutally murdered. At this point in time we are asking for the public’s help in gathering any information we can get on this crime. We ask anyone who might have knowledge of Miss Harvey’s demise to please come forward. Together, we will find the person responsible for this and we will bring them to justice.” Tanner stared into the camera. As she glared at them from the screen, the girls felt like she was looking directly at them.

No one knew what to say. They were all shell-shocked. Even Toby looked surprised by the news. Tanner had really been freezing him out. She’d kept him busy with menial tasks and coffee runs. And knowing Tanner she’d probably told everyone involved in the case not to tell him anything about it.

“I…did not see that coming.” Ezra rubbed his head in confusion.

The room was silent for a brief second, but then a cell phone jingled. Everyone glanced at the coffee table, where Ali’s phone lit up in front of them. Ali reached for it. She read the text and then closed her eyes and tried to take in a calming breath. She handed her phone to Emily. Emily read the message.

_“You should have stayed out of it, Alison.”_

“We can’t catch a damn break.” Ali snapped.

“If it’s not Sara, and Alexander is dead, then who the hell is doing this to us?” Aria asked.

“So, she’s not _A_. Who cares? I don’t understand how her death is a bad thing,” Hanna said with a scowl. “She was a terrible person. One less bitch on the earth in my eyes.”

“Don’t you get it?” Spencer asked. “ _A_ is going to pin this on us.”

“That’s insane.” Aria frowned.

It made perfect sense to Emily. Charlotte had done the same thing to them in high school: made them look guilty when they weren’t.

“No, it’s brilliant,” Spencer cried in frustration. “Think about it… _A_ has been leading us on this wild goose chase since we got back in town, dropping hints here and there that made us believe the person torturing us was Sara. Add that to the fact that Tanner has her video testimony that makes us look guilty for Charlotte’s murder. Tanner knows we hate Sara. _A_ must have figured all of this out. Why nail us for one murder when they can nail us for two?”

“Okay, well, we all have alibis, right?” Aria asked.

“That doesn’t matter!” Spencer exclaimed. “Nothing we say or do matters! Tanner won’t hear anything. She was suspicious of us _before_ this whole Sara thing. And now the one person who could have crucified us on the witness stand is dead.”

“Spencer is right. Tanner is going to be gunning for you girls.” Ezra nodded.

“We’ve got to get ahead of this.” Toby agreed.

“So, what do we do?” Emily asked.

No one answered at first. Ali took her phone back from Emily and stared at the message. Then she glanced at her friends.

“I say we tell Tanner that _A_ is back,” Ali suggested.

“Are you joking?” Spencer huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

“What other option do we have? The two main suspects you guys have been chasing are dead. All we have left is the truth.”

Before anyone could make a snarky comment about how ironic it was that Ali...who had lived and breathed lies her entire youth...was talking about the truth, they were interrupted by Toby’s phone. He looked around the room and then answered. After a few back and forth “yeses” and “no’s” he hung up and looked at them, dejected.

“That was Lorenzo. He wanted to give me a head’s up that they’re dispatching units to bring you all in for questioning. I think it would be wise if we just all went to the station. It would cause less of a scene that way.”

“God, Tanner is worse than _A_.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “I want to hand her an anvil and tell her to walk off of a cliff.”

“That’s my favorite thing you’ve ever said.” Emily smiled at the image of a cartoon Tanner walking off of a cliff and falling through the air for a ridiculous amount of time while holding up signs like “Yikes!” and “Help!”

They heard a noise outside. Spencer and Hanna jumped. Aria let out a startled “eep”. Caleb and Toby jumped to their feet and rushed to the window, Ezra not far behind. Emily followed them.

“You forgot your umbrella, Em,” Hanna teased her.

“Shut up, Hanna.” Emily turned around and shot her an annoyed look. Hanna smiled. She knew that was Emily-speak for ‘I love you’.

“It’s one of the guys from the station.” Toby glanced back at the girls.

“So much for not making a scene,” Spencer muttered.

“Yeah, no kidding. That was record time,” Caleb said.

“Well, they think I’m a killer,” Ali said flatly. “They were probably afraid I would run.”

“Let me talk to him.” Toby walked towards the door.

He walked outside. They watched as he chatted with the officer. At the end of the conversation they shook hands and then Toby came back inside.

“So, are we under arrest or not?” Hanna asked.

“No one is under arrest,” Toby said. “I told him you were all going to go to the station willingly. We have to leave now, though. If Tanner is kept waiting who knows what she’ll do?”

“Then I guess we’d better do what Her Majesty wants.” Emily grumbled under her breath.

“Be sure not to say stuff like that when you’re being questioned. Cops don’t like a smartass.” Caleb warned her. “Believe me, I’m speaking from experience.”

“Come on. He’s going to escort you there,” Toby said.

“Oh, goodie. Our very own motorcade.” Spencer rolled her eyes.

Ali’s phone flashed, and for a second they thought it was another message from _A_ , but when she looked at it she realized it was just the reminder she had set about getting Emily’s prescription from her mother’s house.

“Oh, Em, your meds…” Ali looked at her, worried.

Considering they were about to get arrested for a murder they didn’t commit, that didn’t seem like such a high priority to Emily at the moment.

“I’ll just skip a dose.” Emily shrugged.

“Emily, don’t.” Ali’s eyes softened, and Emily saw the same vulnerable girl she’d held all night long looking back at her.

Toby picked up on Ali’s nervous inflection. He saw them exchange a glance, and like Spencer…he saw that there was something happening that the rest of them didn’t know about.

“Um, why don’t you girls head to the station? Emily, I’ll run you by your mom’s place so you can pick up your meds, then we’ll head straight to the precinct,” Toby suggested.

No one argued. They grabbed their things and walked out the door. Toby opened the passenger door of his cruiser for Emily and then hopped in the driver’s seat. He glanced in his rearview mirror, watching the car with Ali in it disappearing. As they were pulling out of the driveway, Toby turned to Emily.

“Look, Em, I hate to even bring this up, but I know how protective Ali can be, especially when it comes to the people she loves. She thought Sara was threatening you…”

“She _was_ threatening me, Toby.” Just because she wasn’t _A_ didn’t mean Sara hadn’t been tormenting her. In the graveyard. In the hospital. Everywhere she turned she was haunted by that face.

“I know.” Toby nodded. “And Ali knew, too. You don’t think she…”

“No.” Emily shook her head with a soft sigh, though she did hear Ali’s words echoing in her head,

_“I would kill to protect you, Em.”_

But Emily knew in her heart that Ali wasn’t a cold-blooded killer. Ali cried as hard as Emily did when they watched _Homeward Bound._

“No,” Emily said, with more conviction this time. “The only killer that lives in that house is me.”

“That was self-defense. Nate was going to kill you.” Toby didn’t like seeing Emily kicking herself, though he understood, because he’d shot someone once in self-defense. The person had lived, but it had really shaken him up.

“Yeah, I know.” Emily couldn’t help but smile at his overprotection. “I’ve just been thinking about it lately,” she paused and bit her lip. “I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.”

“I’ve noticed.”

The car grew silent, neither of them knowing what to say. Toby drew in a breath through his nose and then cleared his throat.

“I ran into your mom at _The Brew_ before she left town this morning.” He glanced at Emily.

Emily recognized the look in his eyes. The expression on his face was a lot like a child lost in a department store, that face that was full of sheer and utter panic that they’d never see their family again...their eyes desperately seeking comfort, frightened that they would feel that lost forever. She’d seen it in his eyes after his mother died. It was the look of someone learning about the permanence of death.

“She told you.” Emily nodded in understanding.

“She didn’t have to,” Toby sighed. “I could see it in her eyes. I’ve unfortunately had to tell parents that their children have died. It’s always the same look. When I saw your mom I could see it in the way she was carrying herself.” His lips tightened in thought. “Not to mention that I could see it written all over Alison’s face back there.” He looked over at her. “What are the odds?”

“Damn, you really aced that Detective exam, huh?” Emily chuckled.

“Emily…”

“Thirty percent.”

He nodded slowly, letting it sink in.

“Is Ali the only one who knows?” He asked.

“I think Spencer picked up on it.”

“I guarantee you she did.” Toby replied.

“I’ll tell the others as soon as I’m done picking up the pieces of Ali’s heart that I’ve basically destroyed.” Emily leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes.

“You have got to stop being so hard on yourself.” Toby scolded her. “You didn’t cause this. This isn’t your fault. None of what’s happening is your fault. You know that, right?”

“Maybe not, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I’ve wrecked her.”

Ali had spent so much time protecting her heart, and the second she finally gave herself to Emily, her heart had been fractured into pieces.

“No.” He shook his head vigorously. “No, you haven’t. Ali loves you, Em. We all do. Our lives are better because you’re in them. I think sometimes you forget that, or you don’t realize it.” He paused in thought. “You spend so much time making sure others see their value that you completely overlook your own worth. Even when we were kids you stowed your own crap so you could help everyone around you deal with their problems. You have been through so much, but no matter what you were facing you always managed to be an incredible rock to everyone in your life. You are one of the best people I know.”

“You sound like my mother.” Emily’s lips twitched, a slight smile on her face.

“Hey, I’m trying to be sincere here.” Toby laughed. “Seriously,” he smiled. “I don’t want you to ever forget how important you are. I think everyone needs an Emily in their lives.”

“I don’t know if the world could handle more than one of me. You leave _one_ of me unsupervised and I’m doing crazy things like dying on the street and falling into open graves. Could you imagine the hero hours you’d have to log for me if there were two of me?” Emily chuckled.

“I’ll always put on my superhero cape for you,” he said with a shrug.

“Yeah, I know. You always have.” She smiled. “You’ve been saving me since high school. You’ve even saved me from myself a few times.”

“What are drinking buddies for? Everyone needs a little rescue now and then. You taught me that,” he replied.

“And you made a career out of it. Imagine that.”

“It’s not always a glamorous job, but someone has to do it. Last week I had to save the neighborhood from a vicious runaway Labradoodle.” He faked a look of terror.

“Wow, you’re hardcore, Cavanaugh.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Hey, those puppy teeth are sharp. I’m going to have scars.”

“Aw, you’re breaking my heart. Literally.” Emily lifted her brows with a smirk.

“Well that took a dark turn.” Toby shook his head, though a part of him wanted to laugh.

“You can laugh, Toby.” God knows she needed her humor to survive. “Dark humor is my only salvation. I may only have a thirty percent chance of survival, but I have a one hundred percent chance of being sassy until the day I die.”

“Thirty percent is thirty percent. It’s low to one person, but it can be high to another.”

“Why are you talking like Confucius?” Emily asked.

“You ask any consumer about a thirty percent increase in the cost of anything and they’ll tell you thirty percent is a lot.”

“Are you seriously comparing a high risk procedure to the stock market?” Emily honked out a laugh.

_Only Toby Cavanaugh._ She thought to herself.

“Thirty percent can be considered high.”

“And _you’re_ high if you think thirty percent is in any way considered a good chance in the medical field.”

“It’s all in how you look at it,” Toby said. “The way I see it, you have a thirty percent chance. That’s thirty times higher than zero.”

“Yes, thanks for the math lesson.” Emily teased him.

“All I’m saying is…I don’t care if your odds are thirty out of one hundred or a thousand...or a million, I would put money down on you. I have confidence in you. One thing I know about you is that you’re a fighter.”

“Yeah.” Emily didn’t disagree. “If I’m going out, I’m going out swinging.”

“You’ll probably be the cause of many black eyes.”

Emily laughed. Conversations with Toby always made her feel better. When they got to Emily’s house they searched for her missing medication, but it was nowhere to be found. Emily called Mona and left a message to see if she’d accidentally dropped it in her car. Toby suggested calling her doctor to get a refill, but Emily assured him that one missed dose wasn’t going to kill her. He begrudgingly relented and then they headed to the station.

They were talking about a new band they both liked when Toby turned down a one-way street. It happened so fast that neither one of them saw it coming. A large truck came barreling around a street corner at them, going the wrong way. Emily looked up just in time to see the bumper of the truck nearly swallow the front of the police cruiser. She heard the loud crunching sounds and the sound of glass breaking. Shards of glass from the passenger’s side window hit her face and neck.

Her seatbelt locked as she flew forward. The airbag deployed, slamming hard against Emily’s chest, knocking the wind out of her. For a moment she couldn’t breathe and she started to panic. But just as that panic seized her, she was thrown back against the seat and the pressure of the seat hitting her hard from behind forced her to exhale a breath. The breath burned her chest. She heaved out a violent cough, and for a second she couldn’t catch her breath again. But then the coughing passed.

She could hear the car settling and creaking. It took her a second to get her bearings. She reached down and unfastened her seatbelt and leaned over to check on Toby. He had a cut on his forehead that was dripping blood. He was staring at the steering wheel with a dazed look on his face.

“Toby, hey, are you okay?” She put her hand on his shoulder.

“What?” He blinked a few times. “Uh, yeah.”

“You didn’t black out when you hit your head, did you?” Emily asked, running her hand above the cut. It didn’t look too deep.

“No.” He was still in a weird fog, but some of his senses had returned to him. He inhaled a sharp gasp, a delayed reaction. Then he turned towards her, his big blue eyes filled with concern. “Em, are you hurt?”

“I…I don’t think so.” She searched her body for traces of visible injuries, but didn’t see any. “The airbag knocked me for a loop, but I’m – I think I’m okay.” She ran her hand across her chest and immediately tensed up where the seatbelt and airbag had left their marks on her already bruised chest.

Emily glanced through the fractured glass of the windshield. It was a wonder that it hadn’t completely caved in. The truck was practically on top of the cruiser’s front end. The entire front bumper of the cruiser was smashed like an accordion. The floorboard of the car was completely covered with twisted metal. Somehow, miraculously, Emily wasn’t pinned in her seat. She fumbled around, trying to find her phone. All the contents of her purse had spilled out all over the car. She didn’t see her phone anywhere.

“I can’t find my phone,” Emily shifted in her seat.

“I can’t find mine either.” Toby felt around in his pockets. Where had he last had his phone? He reached for his walkie-talkie to call the accident in, but then he realized that the airbag had knocked it loose and the impact had stretched it so tightly that the wire was stripped and the mouthpiece was missing.

Emily saw movement from behind the driver’s side of the truck. The driver emerged, hidden behind the door at first.

“Are you hurt?” Emily leaned over and called out through her broken window.

The driver stepped forward and her breath caught in her throat. She thought she was hallucinating. The driver was wearing a black hoodie, black pants, a ski mask, and black gloves.

“That can’t be…” Emily stared in shock.

No way _A_ would be dumb enough to pull this move. It was the middle of the day. They were in broad daylight. There’s no way people hadn’t heard the crash. The place would be swarming with crowds at any second.

“Son of a bitch.” Toby muttered.

She saw Toby squirming out of the corner of her eye. His hands were on his seatbelt. He was struggling to unbuckle it. He pulled at it in frustration, but it was jammed. Emily reached over to try and help him, but it wouldn’t budge.

The driver of the truck walked towards the car.

“Toby.” Emily grabbed his arm and squeezed it tightly.

Toby looked up and saw their assailant approaching. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. When he realized what was happening, he automatically reached for his weapon. Unfortunately, his holster had been twisted and was caught between the seatbelt and the seat of the car. He couldn’t get to his weapon without getting out of the seatbelt first.

The assailant stopped walking long enough to bask in the chaos he or she had caused, then looked to either side of the car, slowly realizing that they’d pinned themselves in on the narrow one-way street. Trying to get past the driver’s side of the cruiser wouldn’t be feasible because it was basically up against a large cement wall. The driver, who Emily was assuming to be _A_ , ran around the front bumper, opting to try and squeeze by the opening left on the passenger’s side.

Emily could tell exactly what _A_ ’s motives were. And while most people would have flinched or curled away from an intimidating attacker, Emily let her instincts guide her. In one fluid motion she grabbed the door handle and shifted her legs and put her foot against the door. Just as _A_ was about to run past her door, she kicked it open with all of her might, throwing _A_ up against a brick wall. She watched as the person toppled to the ground, never so much as making a sound. Emily tried to get a grasp on whether it was a man or a woman, but underneath all the clothing the body looked nondescript.

“We’ve got _A_ , Toby.” Emily faced him. He was still tugging against his belt, looking for something to cut himself loose so he could get to his weapon.

_A_ scrambled to get up to try and run again.

“Oh no you don’t.” Emily hissed.

She kicked her feet underneath _A_ ’s feet. Her heel hit _A_ ’s shin, sending the bastard right back to the ground. She put as much pressure on _A_ ’s leg as she could, trying to hold the assailant in place.

“Hurry up. I’m losing my grip.” Emily looked back to see how her partner in crime was doing.

“I’m trying.” Toby was aggressively trying to cut through his seatbelt with a dull blade he’d gotten from his utility belt.

Emily felt something wrap around her leg and yank with a surprising amount of force. The motion caused her to slide down the side of her seat, her back hitting the frame of the door. _A_ dragged her to the ground.

“Emily!” Toby yelled.

She tried to climb back next to Toby where it was safe, but it was too late. _A_ was right in front of her, obviously very pissed that she was foiling this great plan. _A_ yanked Emily up by her shirt collar and ripped her out of the car. Emily rammed her knee into the soft flesh on _A_ ’s abdomen, surprised to feel something solid there. Was the freak wearing _armor_? _A_ ’s grip loosened, but not before they both lost their footing and tumbled to the ground. They rolled around on the pavement, the scuffle escalating as each of them tried to pin the other to the ground.

“Emily, run!” Toby exclaimed, still powerless to do anything to help. The radio wasn’t functional. His gun was jammed in its holster. He couldn’t even get out of his seat because he was trapped by a defective seatbelt.

Emily tried to rip the ski mask off, but her hands were swatted away. She got in several good jabs, but _A_ slammed her down on her back and straddled her. She blinked and then felt something tightening around her neck. She felt the pressure from _A_ ’s angry fingers closing around her windpipe.

“Don’t you hurt her!” Toby snarled. “Don’t you dare!” He was bucking against his seat, furiously trying to cut his way free, desperately trying to get to his weapon. “Get away from her!”

Emily’s survival instincts went into overdrive and she curled her legs up and jammed her knee roughly into the attacker’s pelvic region, causing enough of a gap in the attack that she was able to get away. She sat up, rubbing her neck and coughing, her chest burning. _A_ recovered quickly, leaping up off of the ground. Emily used the door as a shield between them, refusing to budge. She wasn’t going to let this jackass get away. Then they heard it, music to Emily’s ears.

A siren.

“It’s over.” Emily huffed out through harsh breaths, her throat still tight from being strangled. “You’re done.”

The person looked around, left and then right. The only escape was through Emily. And in that moment Emily realized she’d won.

Or at least she thought she’d won.

_A_ grabbed the open door, gripping the frame of the busted out window and shoved it against her, hard. The corner of the door jammed directly into her stomach and chest. The blow was so powerful that it knocked her off of her feet and sent her back to the ground. She heard Toby yell something and then saw a pair of black boots whizzing by her. In a futile attempt to stop _A_ , she reached out to grab the person. But _A_ was already gone. She let out a frustrated yell.

She laid in a daze for a few minutes. She heard a ripping noise and then something shuffling above her. Toby had gotten free and was crawling out the passenger’s side door. He quickly kneeled next to her.

“Jesus Christ. Are you okay?” He was breathing heavy.

“I think so.” She was out of breath. She propped herself up, her back against the side of the car. She was wheezing. “Toby, we can’t let _A_ get away. Go get the bastard.”

“I can’t just leave you here.”

“Toby, go.” She ordered.

Toby glanced towards where their mystery assailant had run off to. The person had a pretty decent head start, and Toby was at a disadvantage because he had no idea what direction _A_ had gone after turning the corner. He looked back down at Emily. If he ran off to chase after _A_ and something happened to Emily in his absence Ali would never forgive him. Not to mention he’d never forgive himself.

“Not at the expense of your life.” He argued with her. “A blow like that? We’ve got to get you to the hospital.”

“But what about…”

“I’ll put out an APB as soon as I have a functioning radio.”

As much as Emily wanted to argue, she let it go. Her adrenaline was wearing off. Her ribcage was throbbing. She put her arm on the door frame and pulled herself up, only to feel her knees shaking. She sat down inside the car, leaning forward, her legs hanging out the door. She looked at the twisted metal and broken glass all around them and all she could think about was the bus wreck.

“ _A_ really likes to wreck things,” she said.

“Emily Fields, was that a damn pun?” Toby gasped out a shocked laugh.

“It’s what I do in life or death situations.” Emily shrugged, the motion causing her a surprising amount of discomfort. “Ah! I think you were right about that blow to the chest.” She sucked in a pained gasp.

Much to their relief, they saw two paramedics running towards them. Someone had heard the collision and called 911. Toby waved them over to where Emily was sitting.

“Is there anyone else in the car?” The first paramedic asked.

“No.” Toby shook his head. “We need to get her to the ER. She has a history of heart problems and she took a hit in the chest.”

Multiple hits, actually. And Emily was starting to feel it. Each breath she took required more and more effort. It’s like the air in her lungs had turned to sludge. She felt like she needed to cough, but she couldn’t. Her lungs just seized. Her breathing eased slightly when the paramedics got her hooked up to an oxygen mask and loaded her into the ambulance.

“Why don’t you come with me and let me take a look at that?” The second paramedic motioned to the gash on Toby’s head.

“I’m fine.”

“You really should let me check you out.”

“Patch me up on the way to the hospital.” He climbed in the ambulance. “I’m riding with her.” He sat next to Emily. “How ya doin’, Em?”

She gave him a half-hearted thumbs up, which was all she could muster. Halfway to the hospital every other breath that she took was so excruciating that she felt like she was going to pass out.

“Toby,” Emily said, her voice muffled by the oxygen mask. She reached up and pulled it down. “Call Ali.” She wheezed out a heavy breath.

“I’m working on it. I tried her cell, but she didn’t pick up. And the station lines are jammed because of the news conference.” He gently pushed the oxygen mask back on her face. “But I’ll find her for you, Emily. I promise.”

And she knew he would, because he always came through. She fought to stay conscious. She was afraid that if she closed her eyes she’d never open them again. The feeling of breathlessness sent her right back to being deprived of oxygen at the dollhouse. Her eyes slammed shut as the panic coursed through her veins. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. Then, she pictured the moment she’d lost her breath with Alison last night, and Alison’s words suddenly echoed in her mind.

_“Breathe, baby.”_

But this time, she couldn’t catch her breath.


	29. The Blame Game

The police station was buzzing with activity. Before they had even walked into the precinct they could see that it was crawling with reporters and special law departments from all over the state. Tanner had called in the big guns. The cop who had led them out there stood on the stairs with his eyes on them. They stood across the street staring at the building. The structure had an eerie presence to it, like a monster waiting to ingest them. It was weird that a non-living thing could be so intimidating. Ali stopped, unable to find the courage to walk across the street with her friends.

Aria noticed she’d halted and she turned to face her. She reached out and nudged Spencer and Spencer stopped walking, too. They turned back to go get her. Hanna, Caleb, and Ezra followed.

“Ali, what’s wrong?” Aria asked.

“I don’t know if I want to do this.” Ali’s throat tightened.

All she could think about was the last time she’d been scrutinized by the police. They had underestimated _A_ then. What if they were repeating old mistakes? She’d gone to prison for a murder she hadn’t committed once. She didn’t want it to happen again. She hadn’t been there for very long, but she still had nightmares about what had happened to her behind bars. The heckling. The beatings. The constant fear that every corner she turned might be her last.

“Hey, we’re here for you,” Aria assured her.

“Yeah, and if it’s any consolation, we’ll probably end up sharing a cell with you, so you won’t be alone.” Hanna shrugged.

“Do me a favor. Never give inspirational speeches to children.” Spencer looked at Hanna with a scowl.

“I’m not a killer. I would have never hurt Charlotte. And Sara...I’m not sorry that she’s dead, and honestly, I wish I had gotten in a few punches, but…I didn’t kill her.”

“We know.” Aria touched her hand.

“God knows I wanted to. After what she did to Emily…” She was fuming just thinking about it. Sara could have killed her coming after her in the hospital. “It’s one thing that she was following her around like a perverted Peeping Thomasina, but to go after her when she was unconscious and vulnerable, it just…it freaks me out to think about it.”

“What are you talking about?” Hanna’s brow scrunched in confusion.

“She showed up in the hospital when Emily was recovering,” Ali replied.

“Sara went after Emily in the hospital?” Spencer’s fingers curled into her palm. Her fists tightened.

“She didn’t tell you?” Ali asked.

“I guess we’ve all been a little preoccupied with the whole dollhouse thing with Alexander Drake.” Aria nervously played with her fingers.

“I can’t believe that bitch messed with Emily like that. If she wasn’t dead, I would so kill her right now.” Hanna snapped.

“Maybe you should refrain from talking about murdering a girl who was _actually_ murdered,” Ezra suggested. “We are fifty feet away from a police station after all.”

“I was being hypotheatrical.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Hypothetical, Hanna.” Spencer corrected her. “The word is hypothetical. And you’re not even using it correctly.”

“Your brain really never does shut off, does it?” Hanna stared back at her.

“It’s a good thing it doesn’t. I’m about to have to go in there and turn my law knowledge up to critical mass.” Spencer pinched her eyebrows together and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “God, when my mother’s competition gets wind of this her entire campaign is going to go down in flames.”

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about?” Hanna asked curiously.

“It’s kind of important! We’re not the center of the universe, you know. Our actions affect our loved ones.”

“Hey, don’t bite my head off. I’m just saying…we’re about to have our asses _Shawshank_ -ed.”

“Guys, this isn’t helping.” Aria butt in. She'd noticed that Ali had gotten really quiet again. “We get that this is hard for you, Ali. But you don’t have to be afraid. We’ve got your back.”

Ali nodded, giving Aria an appreciative smile. They walked into the station. Despite all the chaos, it was clear that Tanner had planned on them getting there fairly quickly. As soon as the girls walked through the door they were promptly apprehended by most of the cops in the room. Caleb puffed up in defense when one of the officers put his hand around Hanna’s arm. He completely disregarded the advice he’d given to Emily about not smarting off to the police.

“Hey, hands off, Miami Vice. I don’t know what you learned in Rent-a-cop school, but you can’t just get all grab-ass on someone just because you’ve got a big ego and a little _night stick._ ”

“Excuse me?” The officer glowered at him.

“You got a warrant?” Caleb snapped.

“Caleb, could you not, please?” Hanna reprimanded him. “I’d really like it if our first dance wasn’t Jailhouse Rock themed.”

“I kind of like Elvis,” Ezra jutted his lip out in thought.

“Not helping.” Aria shot him a glance.

“Sorry.” Ezra smiled awkwardly. He looked like a five-year-old that had been scolded.

“Look, I’m just trying to direct you where to go.” The cop looked at Hanna and then sneered at Caleb.

“Well, you can do that _without_ putting your hands on my fiancée.” Caleb didn’t back down.

“I’m going to need you two gentlemen to take a seat.” Another officer stepped in. He faced the girls. “We need you ladies to come with us.”

They took the girls down a restricted hallway and then told them to leave their belongings at the desk. Then they were led into the same room Tanner had brought them in to show them the video of Sara’s testimony. Five minutes went by. Then ten. They started to get antsy. Ali heard a siren in the distance and it unnerved her. Another five minutes went by, the girls completely clueless to the fact that at that very moment Emily was fighting for her life.

“Is this some sort of police tactic? Make us sweat it out or something?” Hanna asked.

“They’re trying to stir us up. Anxious people are more likely to slip up.” Spencer nodded.

“Great, no pressure,” Ali muttered. She was beyond anxious.

“It’s going to be fine. Just let me lead, okay?” Spencer asked.

Aria and Hanna both nodded. Ali was too lost in her own world to reply. She looked at her watch. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and sucked on it. Something kept needling her brain – a strange sensation she didn’t like.

“Something isn’t right. Emily should be here by now.” Ali paced nervously. “Has anyone heard from her?”

“They took our phones.” Spencer reminded Ali.

The door opened, and for a second Ali thought that Emily was going to breeze in and tell her she’d been worried for nothing. But instead, she looked up and saw Tanner’s cold eyes looking into hers.

“Hello again, ladies.” She walked into the room. Her demeanor was much more rigid than it had been yesterday. “I trust you all know why you’re here.”

“Because you like to play with us like cat toys,” Hanna muttered.

Spencer whipped her head to the side to look at Hanna. Two seconds. She hadn’t lasted two seconds before she’d smarted off to Tanner.

“What did we say about me doing the talking?” Spencer growled through her teeth.

Hanna rolled her eyes and then pinched her forefinger and thumb together and brought them to her lips, sweeping them across it like she was zipping her mouth shut. She turned her fingers up when she got to the corner of her mouth and gave Spencer a smarmy smile.

Ali stared at her. The girl always did have a flair for the dramatic. That’s one of the things Ali liked about her.

“I have been racking my brain trying to understand what it is about you girls getting together that just makes the bodies start piling up,” Tanner said, a condescending tone in her voice.

“Listen, we came in willingly,” Spencer reminded her. “If this is just going to be another crusade against us then you’re wasting your time because we…”

“Miss Hastings, I’m just doing my job here.” Tanner cut Spencer off. “I now have _two_ murders to solve, and everything I have keeps circling back to you girls.” She looked at each girl before taking a seat. “I understand that Miss Fields is on her way in with Officer Cavanaugh. But I’d like to go ahead and get started. As you can imagine, I’m very busy, so let’s just get right to it. As you are aware, Sara Harvey has been murdered.”

She pulled several photographs out of an envelope and laid them across the table. There were several different angles of the crime scene sprayed with blood splatter. The girls cringed.

“Sara was attacked at knife-point and stabbed several times. A security camera in a parking garage captured a portion of the attack.” She pulled out another photo. “Does the suspect’s car look familiar to you, Miss DiLaurentis?” She pushed the photo over towards Ali.

Of course the suspect’s car was identical to Ali’s. She tried to feign indifference, looking at Tanner with a steely gaze.

“Do I look like a used car salesman?” she replied in a monotonous tone.

“Ali.” Spencer whispered harshly.

Ali cut her eyes at Spencer with a look that clearly said _‘she started it’._ Spencer retorted with a silent _‘well, I’m finishing it!’_ Ali continued to glare at Spencer, her eyes practically screaming _‘I am so damn done with this.’_

“So, I suppose it’s just a coincidence that the suspect’s car is the same make and model as yours?” Tanner tapped her fingers against the desk.

“A lot of people have that car.” Ali retorted, trying not to get angry. She glanced at her watch. Where the hell was Emily? She looked at Tanner again. “My car was parked outside my house all day yesterday while I was sitting here at the station with you.”

“True.” Tanner nodded. She pursed her lips before she continued, “But the attack on Miss Harvey didn’t happen yesterday. The time stamp on the video places the attack three days ago.”

“Wait a second. You led us to believe that she was completely fine yesterday.” Spencer frowned.

“As far as I knew, she was. That interview was given the day before she was killed. We had no reason to believe that she was in any danger.”

“You guys are doing a real bang up job with the police-work in this town.” Hanna snorted sarcastically.

Spencer shot her a look, clearly telling her to shut her mouth. At this point, the only intelligent person in the room was Aria. She’d yet to say a word.

“Miss Harvey never indicated that she felt unsafe,” Tanner explained. “One of my officers got a call about the security footage with the attack on it last night. And after sweeping the crime scene we found blood evidence that indicated there was a significant struggle.”

She went through the details, shoving the evidence in their faces. Spencer cut Tanner off at nearly every turn. Ali barely heard anything they were saying. She couldn’t get over the fact that Emily still wasn’t there.

“Sara and Charlotte clearly had some sort of bond. I think she knew who murdered Charlotte. And I think she was killed because of it,” Tanner’s voice brought Ali back into reality.

“Calls for speculation.” Spencer quickly spit.

“This is not a courtroom, Miss Hastings. I’m not accusing anyone of anything…”

“Yet.” Spencer added.

“We get it,” Ali said. “There’s lots of evidence. So why are you telling us this?”

“I thought it was obvious. I am giving you a chance to tell your side of the story before my side becomes the only side.” Tanner folded her hands together and leaned against the table.

“You’re trying to help us?” Spencer asked with a caustic laugh.

“I’m not blind to the fact that you girls have been through a lot. The amount of tragedy that you’ve suffered is unthinkable. But I also know that trouble has a way of roping you in. What I’m trying to do here is rein this in before it spins out any more than it already has.” She looked at Ali, who was completely oblivious to what she was saying.

Ali was staring at her watch, mindlessly rubbing the tips of her fingers against the table. The more time that went by, the more she started to fall apart. There was a weird aching feeling in her stomach. Her chest felt tight. She felt like a piece of her was missing.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be, Miss DiLaurentis?” Tanner asked sharply.

Ali shook off her nerves and looked up at Tanner, but before she could respond they were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

“Lieutenant Tanner?” The door cracked and Lorenzo popped his head.

“I’m in the middle of something here, Officer Calderon.” Tanner stared coolly at him, clearly perturbed at the intrusion.

“I know. I’m sorry to interrupt. Cavanaugh is on the phone for you.”

Ali’s head jerked up. Her heart leaped into her throat. She grabbed the sides of her chair and tightly wrapped her fingers around the cool metal handles, squeezing so hard she was hurting her bones. Her heart was beating so fast her chest felt like it was vibrating. She tried to get a read on Lorenzo’s face, but his expression was completely neutral.

“Tell him I will call him back.” Tanner bit through her teeth, trying to keep her tone polite and even. Everyone in the room could hear how irritated she was.

“He says it’s important.” Lorenzo pushed.

Ali whimpered. There was a reason Emily wasn’t here. Something had happened. She felt it. The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on her.

Tanner frowned, and then excused herself. As soon as the door shut Ali pushed her chair back and jumped to her feet.

“Oh, God.” She was seconds away from having a full meltdown. “I can’t be here. I don’t want to be here. It’s…” She sucked in a gasp of air. “I can’t breathe in here.”

The girls quickly gathered around her, confused by her sudden panic.

“What’s the matter?” Someone’s hand skimmed her arm.

She looked up. It was Aria.

“Something is really wrong.” Ali didn’t recognize her own voice. “I…I have to get out of here. I need to find Emily.”

“She’s with Toby.” Spencer tried to soothe her anxiety.

“Why would he be on the phone and not here at the station with her?” Ali’s tone was curt, but not angry. It was laced with fear.

“Maybe he’s got a lead or something.” Hanna suggested. “Or maybe they’re still looking for her meds.”

Ali looked at her friends. They had no idea. They had no idea why she was suddenly so on edge. Her erratic behavior was probably so confusing for them. She wished Emily was here with them. Emily always knew what to say or do to calm her down. Ali pushed her back against the wall and buried her face into her hands. She slid down the length of the wall until she was sitting on the ground, knees up to her chest.

“Are you okay?” Hanna asked in uncertainty.

“No.” Ali admitted. Nothing was okay. She felt like she would never be okay again.

“What’s going on, Ali?” Spencer asked. “You and Emily are both acting really weird.”

“She isn’t…” Ali cried, her voice strained, “…her heart’s not…” She sucked her lips in between her teeth and bit down, her chin trembling. “She’s getting worse. I might – _we_ might _,_ ” She looked up at her friends, feeling small and weak, “...we might actually lose her.”

“What do you mean?” Hanna’s eyes were as large as saucers. She saw the panic on Ali’s face, and suddenly, she felt that same terror. Emily was her best friend. It scared her to think about Emily dying.

“I…” Ali took a deep breath, trying to center herself. She didn’t know how to center herself without Emily in the room. “The doctor says surgery is her only option.”

The room was quiet for a few seconds.

“Well, we knew that was a possibility,” Aria said, her voice was calm, but her hands were shaking.

“Yeah, just because she has to have surgery…that doesn’t mean…” Hanna stuttered.

“There’s more to it.” Spencer shared a look with Ali. “Isn’t there?” She pressed her for information.

Spencer knew there was more. The way that Emily had looked at her after she’d questioned her about her change of heart in going after _A_ had unsettled Spencer. And the way that Ali was acting now confirmed her worst fears. Ali slowly raised her chin, looking up at her friends. Her eyes were glassy. She looked haunted.

“Ali, what is it?” Aria kneeled down in front of her, putting her hands on Ali’s knees.

“Talk to us.” Spencer bent down and rubbed her arm.

Their kindness was enough to push Ali over the edge. She’d been a shell of herself since she’d woken up this morning. She had no idea how Emily had been able to remain so calm about everything. She felt like she was falling through a black hole, every atom in her body slowly being ripped to shreds, piece by piece. Ali lowered her head and tears rolled down her cheeks.

“She’s – she’s going to be okay, right?” Hanna’s breathing quickened, her mind flashing to sitting in Emily’s hospital room the morning after she’d nearly died. She’d been pretending to read a magazine, but really…she’d been watching Emily out of the corner of her eye, waiting for her to wake up so she could yell at her for scaring her so badly. “Ali?” Hanna leaned down next to Aria. She put her hand on top of Ali’s.

“She only has a thirty percent chance of making it through the surgery.”

“What?” Aria squeaked out a surprised gasp.

Spencer tilted her head to the side and pressed her index and middle finger against her temple and her thumb against her cheek and let out a sigh. She’d been expecting something like this ever since she’d had that unspoken exchange with Emily in Ali’s living room, but it still hit her pretty hard. Hanna’s mouth dropped open, and for once the opinionated blonde was speechless. The room was silent. The girls all looked at one another trying to process the news. How had things gotten this bad this fast?

Ali wiped her face with the backs of her hands and tried to explain the situation to them. She pushed herself up to her feet and walked the length of the room several times as she stuttered through the words she had barely begun to process herself. She fidgeted with her hands to try and keep her mind busy so she wouldn’t burst into tears again. She knew she needed to keep it together. The last thing she needed was for the police to see her have an emotional outburst. They’d probably mark her as unstable and that would give them more of a reason to suspect her of being a murderer.

When she finished explaining everything she finally forced herself to make eye contact with her friends. Every single one of them had a frozen look of shock on their faces, even Spencer…who had known that Emily was holding on to something. There was a momentary lapse of silence, interrupted by Aria letting out a shaky breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in.

“She’s really that bad off?” Aria asked.

“I don’t understand. Two weeks ago we were having mimosas and joking about how she and Caleb have the same taste in women.” Blonde and ballsy. “We even talked about maybe getting everyone together and taking a cruise to the Caribbean.” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “How did this happen?”

“She’s been saying it all along. Heart problems are unpredictable.” Ali shook her head and put her hands up in a show of helpless surrender. “I guess I just thought…” she sighed. “I don’t know what I thought.” She looked away, trying to fix her gaze on anything other than her friends. She could barely handle her own emotions, much less theirs. “I didn’t expect it to get this bad this quickly.”

“I don’t accept this.” Spencer ran her fingers through her uncombed hair. “There has to be _something_ someone can do.”

“There’s not.” Ali’s voice quaked. “This is all we’ve got.”

The door creaked open and Tanner walked back into the room. Her face was tight, her eyes trained on Ali.

“Girls, I’m afraid something has come up,” she said. “Officer Cavanaugh just informed me that he and Emily were involved in a hit and run collision.”

Ali felt her legs going numb. She had flashes of kids screaming on the bus, being thrown out of her seat, somehow landing sideways on a pile of yoga mats. The smell of gasoline. The hissing of the dying engine that she’d been terrified would explode after the crash. That eerie moment of silence when you were sure you were dead. Then she imagined Emily going through the same thing. It was a hundred times worse. She completely understood why Emily collapsed in shock hearing the news about the bus wreck.

“Are they okay?” Spencer’s voice had a slight tone of hysteria in it.

“I don’t know any of the details. But I do know that Emily was taken to the emergency room. Officer Cavanaugh is with her.”

Ali felt Hanna’s palm against her forearm. Aria took Ali’s hand and held it tightly.

“Now, I know what you girls mean to one another, and despite my affinity to be firm…”

“Bitchy,” Hanna uttered under her breath. Spencer elbowed her, warning her not to piss Tanner off. Thankfully, Tanner hadn’t heard her.

“…when it comes to my dedication to the justice system, due to the nature of this situation I’m going to postpone this interview. I’ve arranged for a police escort to take you to the hospital.”

She quickly led them out of the room. Minutes later they were on their way to the hospital, Ali silently praying that Emily was okay…that she’d just been taken in because it was standard protocol for someone with health issues to be thoroughly checked out after a wreck. She tried calling Toby, but the call went straight to voicemail.

At the hospital, Toby was pacing the length of the waiting room, stopping occasionally only to run his fingers against the itchy butterfly bandages across the slit in his forehead. The paramedic that had been hassling him to let him patch his head up had cleaned it up in the ambulance while asking him questions about Emily’s health. She hadn’t been lucid enough to tell the paramedics anything. She’d barely been able to breathe, much less talk. Toby told them everything he knew.

The ambulance ride felt like it had taken forever. He’d watched Emily rapidly decline in minutes. She’d gone from making her typical corny ‘Emily’ puns to barely being able to move in the blink of an eye. By the time they’d loaded her into the ambulance he could see that she was in agony, though she’d been very stoic about it up until it got to be too much for her to suppress. Her body had started shaking as she’d tried to fight through her discomfort. She’d begged him to call Ali. He’d told her he was trying to get in touch with her. He’d taken her hand and she’d wrapped her fingers around it weakly. He could see her tensing up every time she’d tried to take a breath.

 _“Can’t you give her something for the pain?”_ Toby had asked the paramedic harshly.

_“Not without knowing the extent of her injuries.”_

The man had somehow remained calm and rational in his response. Toby knew from experience what it was like dealing with emotionally distraught family members. He’d tried not to let his emotions get the better of him. It wouldn’t make the paramedics’ jobs any easier.

 _“Emily, can you talk to me? Tell me what hurts. Is it your chest?”_ The paramedic had attempted to determine the cause of her pain.

 _“It’s…everything,”_ she’d managed to huff out. _“I…I…”_

The paramedic had started palpating her to see where her pain was coming from. He’d gently pushed her abdomen.

_“If I hit anything that’s tender just squeeze your friend’s hand, okay?”_

Emily had nodded weakly in response, her words completely failing her. He’d checked her belly for points of tenderness, but all it did was make it harder for Emily to catch her breath.

Toby hated seeing her in pain. He hated that she bore the brunt of _A_ ’s attack. The girl had been through so much trauma already. It wasn’t fair that life kept kicking the crap out of her. Why was it always the kindest people who suffered the most? And Emily took it all in stride, too. Never once losing her sense of humor about things. She’d gotten that endurance from her father. Wayne Fields was the kind of man who, after he cracked a tooth, went around bragging about how he couldn’t wait to wear his new crown and joked about buying a scepter to go along with it. His daughter was the same. She buried her pain for the sake of the people around her.

Toby had watched Emily go to a place beyond pain in the ambulance. She’d clenched her jaw and slammed her eyes shut when she couldn’t take it anymore. Her eyes had flickered back open only long enough to drowsily request one thing. She’d barely been able to get the words out and he’d barely heard her because her voice had been broken and muffled by the oxygen mask. But he’d somehow picked up on what she’d said amidst all the chaos.

 _“Tell – tell my mom and Ali I love them.”_ Her voice had sounded strained and distant.

 _“I’ll do you one better. I’ll hold on to that message and let you deliver it to them yourself.”_ Toby had replied.

_“Toby, I can’t…I can’t…”_

He hadn’t known at the time that she was trying to tell him that she couldn’t breathe. He saw her chest tighten. She’d opened her mouth like she was trying to take a breath, but nothing happened. Her eyes were screaming, brimming with emotion. Her eyes had suddenly snapped shut and she’d gripped the blanket on the stretcher, twisting and turning it, knotting it up between her fingers. She’d squeezed Toby’s hand with an intense amount of pressure.

The machines measuring her vitals had started beeping and her body stiffened. Her blood pressure had spiked. Her oxygen levels had dropped. She’d started gasping for air, only she wasn’t actually taking in the oxygen. He’d watched as the color drained from her cheeks. He could hear her choked wheezing from underneath the mask. The paramedics had leaped into action.

_“She’s hypoxic.”_

_“I’ll grab an intubation kit.”_

The paramedic who had been palpating Emily leaned over her and calmly addressed her.

_“Emily, you’re going to be alright. We’re going to take care of you, okay?”_

Her hand had continued to tighten around Toby’s and her body tensed up. Her body had jerked so violently that her back arched off of the stretcher. She’d fallen flat against the cot and started thrashing around.

 _“She’s seizing!”_ The first paramedic had exclaimed.

 _“What’s happening? What’s going on?”_ Toby had asked.

 _“She’s not getting enough oxygen.”_ He’d answered Toby and then faced his partner. _“We need the diazepam.”_

Toby’s arm was shaking because of Emily’s hold on his hand. He knew her tight grasp was nothing more than her muscles contracting, but he’d gently squeezed back. Her fingernails were involuntarily digging into his skin, but instead of trying to pull out of her grasp he’d put his other hand on top of their joined hands.

 _“Hang in there, Em. We’re almost there.”_ He wasn’t sure if she could hear him, but he’d wanted her to know he was there.

The paramedics gave her an injection of an anticonvulsant to stop the seizure and then had intubated her, somehow managing to get a tube in her throat to help her breathe despite the fact that they were speeding down the road taking corners so fast it felt like the ambulance was skidding along on two wheels. Toby was impressed with how skilled they were, including the driver who got them to the hospital like he was a star from _The Fast and the Furious._

By the time they got her to the hospital the tremors had stopped. They’d rushed her in to the ER for further treatment. Toby had stayed with her, occasionally getting glances from doctors and nurses letting him know he should wait in the lobby. Only one doctor had stopped assessing her long enough to try and kick him out of the room.

 _“I’m not going anywhere. She’s my sister,”_ he’d said without skipping a beat. To him, it wasn’t really a lie. Emily had been more like a sister to him than his actual stepsister, Jenna.

No one tried to argue with him. They’d just concentrated on Emily. They’d quickly found that the reason she couldn’t breathe was because there was swelling in her chest, so they’d whisked her away to relieve the pressure.

This left Toby with nothing to do but wait and worry. He’d tried to get ahold of Ali. He’d called her three times. He’d tried Aria and Spencer, too. He knew Tanner, and he knew she’d probably confiscated their phones during the questioning. When none of them answered he’d tried calling Caleb and then he’d tried the station, but the lines were still busy. He’d dialed and dialed until his battery died. Then he’d used the phone at the front desk. When he did finally manage to get through to the station he’d been more than a little heated. He’d been curt with Lorenzo, telling him to get Tanner’s ass on the phone ASAP. If she didn’t release the girls he was going to lay in to her, going directly for her jugular. In fact, he was so worked up he’d decided he might do that anyway.

Much to his surprise, after he’d told her what was going on, Tanner had consented to his request to let the girls go. She’d told him she’d put off the rest of her questioning so they could get to the hospital. She had even offered a police escort to get them there faster. Toby knew that she’d done that more for herself than the girls. She wanted someone to keep an eye on her suspects. But the important thing was that they would get there soon.

He dreaded seeing the looks on their faces. He remembered how distressed they’d been the last time they’d come here with Emily. He wandered around the ER, lost in thought. He was kicking himself for not doing a better job of looking out for Emily. He kept thinking of all the things he should have done differently. He should have seen the truck coming sooner. He should have come out of his shock quicker. He should have known that Emily was hurt even though she appeared okay. He’d learned from experience that sometimes adrenaline had a way of making people feel fine when they weren’t. He should have been able to rip his seatbelt in half the instant _A_ had come for Emily. Where the hell had his strength been? He had mentally gone through a list of “I should haves” before he realized he was putting the blame on himself when he should be placing the blame on the person who was truly responsible. _A_ had nearly killed them. And Emily had faced off with the psychopath alone.

“This never should have happened, Em,” he muttered to himself. “I’m so sorry.”

He leaned his arm against the wall and put his forehead against the back of his wrist. He felt his anger surfacing. He let out a frustrated grunt and pulled back. If he had gotten free two minutes sooner he would have had the bastard. This would be over. Instead, Emily was hurt, and a maniacal criminal was running free. He pulled his arm back and then slammed his fist against the wall. Then he pulled back and hit it again, drawing blood on two of his knuckles.

“Officer, could you please _not_ abuse our building? I mean, I’m a Pink Floyd fan, too, but we don’t need _another hole in the wall_.” A nurse walked up behind him. “Besides, the wall-punching is reserved strictly for doctors who have had a bad day.”

He immediately felt bad. He’d just been imagining that the wall was _A_ ’s face, and it felt good to punch something.

“Sorry.” He turned around with a sheepish look on his face.

He recognized her immediately. She’d been one of the nurses who had taken care of Emily when she was recovering from her cardiac arrest.

“Joyce. Hey.”

“Officer Cavanaugh?” Familiarity registered on her face. “Ooh, ouch. What happened?” She pointed to his head.

“Head on collision.”

“Yeah. Literally.”

Toby felt his mouth twist into a weak smile. No wonder Joyce had been Emily’s favorite nurse. They’d probably traded corny jokes like pros.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet.” He looked down the hallway. “Emily was with me. She got hit pretty hard in the chest.”

“Oh no.” Joyce’s face dropped, her eyes softening in a mixture of sympathy and concern. Toby didn’t like the grim look on her face. It was a look that clearly said that she had seen way too many negative outcomes in Emily’s situation.

“I know you’re probably busy, but is there any way you can get an update for me? I haven’t heard anything in a while and I’m worried.”

“Yeah. Of course.” She nodded. She held up several individually wrapped medical materials. “I need to run these suture kits upstairs really quick, but then I’ll see if I can find anything out.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. In the meantime, you might want to have someone clean you up.” She glanced at his bloody knuckles. “Typically, it’s frowned upon to let our patients bleed all over our floors.”

“I will try to keep the bloody finger-painting to a minimum.” He nodded, trying to force out a smile. It came out as more of a grimace.

“Hey, she’s a tough kid.” Joyce tried to reassure him.

“She is.” More than Joyce would ever know.

He thanked Joyce again and then went into the bathroom to clean his hand up. He didn’t want to bother any nurses, especially given that he’d done it to himself. He ran cold water over his knuckles. The bleeding stopped and he flexed his hand a few times before gently tapping a paper towel over it to dry the injuries. He walked back into the hallway.

“Toby!”

He turned around and saw Spencer racing towards him, the rest of the girls not far behind. Caleb and Ezra were bringing up the rear. Spencer rushed into his arms, hugging him tightly. She expelled a sharp breath and pulled back, wiping at her face to catch the tears that were falling down her cheeks. She ran her fingers over the cut on his head.

“I’m okay.” Toby gave her a reassuring rub on her back.

Ali was right behind her, her eyes darting around the ER frantically. Her normally rosy cheeks were pale. She had a crestfallen look on her face.

“What happened? Where’s Emily?” She looked at Toby, moisture pooling in the corner of her eyes.

“Take a breath.” Toby tried to defuse the situation. “Calm down.”

“Toby, where is she?” Ali asked impatiently.

“She had some swelling in her chest and she couldn’t breathe, so they had to take her into surgery…”

“Surgery?” Ali cried, her voice a loud shriek echoing in the hallway.

She looked at her friends, her face tinged with a desperate trepidation as her arms flung out away from her sides, seeking some kind of balance. Aria and Hanna both shot their hands out at the same time to grab her.

Toby suddenly realized why the word surgery had thrown her for such a loop. That whole thirty percent thing. He quickly tried to explain,

“Not _surgery_ surgery. It’s a minor procedure. She had some superficial bruising that caused some pressure on her chest. They needed to relieve that pressure. It’s not invasive,” he assured her.

He didn’t dare mention the seizure. Ali already looked like she was on the verge of fainting. Hanna, Aria, and Spencer were just as upset. Even Caleb and Ezra looked out of it.

“Officer Cavanaugh?” Joyce walked up behind him.

Toby turned around to face her, moving to the side. Ali saw her and a slight wave of relief washed over her. Seeing a familiar face that knew Emily’s medical history was a strange comfort to her.

“Joyce.” Ali stepped forward, a tentative expression on her face. Would the woman remember her? She saw so many people day in and day out.

“Alison,” she said with a warm smile on her face. She reached out and took Ali’s hands, cupping them gently in hers. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Emily is in good hands.”

Of course Joyce was the kind of nurse that remembered her patients and their families. Ali had witnessed how much she cared when she watched her take care of Emily. In a way, she kind of reminded Ali of Emily. She was attentive and warm. She had a calm nature to her. And hearing her say that Emily was in good hands made her believe that everything was okay.

“How is she?” Aria asked from behind Ali.

“She’s stable. They’re finishing up now.”

A collective sigh of relief echoed around them. Everyone breathed a little easier.

“They were able to relieve the pressure in her chest. Fortunately, they didn’t have to put in a chest tube,” Joyce said. “Once she’s in recovery the doctor will come update you.”

“Thanks, Joyce.” Toby smiled at her in appreciation.

“Any time.” And they knew she meant it. Joyce slipped her hands away from Ali’s. “If you don’t hear anything in the next half hour, ask the front desk to page me. I’ll light a fire under them for you.”

She had to slip away to get back to work. But her five minute visit meant the world to Emily’s friends. Just knowing that someone cared was comforting. They all sat down in the waiting room, somewhat spread out, because there weren’t a lot of empty chairs to choose from. Ali stayed with Spencer and Toby. Ezra and Aria sat down a few chairs away from them. Aria curled as close to Ezra as she could, silent tears falling down her face. He held her and rubbed her back while she shivered, trying to come to terms with everything Ali had told her…and everything else that was happening.

Hanna had gone on a coffee run, dragging Caleb along to be her human cup-holder. None of her friends knew that halfway there she had a panic attack over the fact that she’d be getting one less drink because Emily was unconscious. She freaked out in the middle of the hospital hallway. Caleb had to talk her down from it. By the time they got back, Hanna was emotionally exhausted. They passed out the drinks and then sat down across from Aria and Ezra. A few of the people in the waiting room had left, so everyone moved closer together.

Ali put her coffee cup in between her knees, her hands around the top rim, her fingers skimming the thin paper cup as steam rose up into the air. She stared down at it, her mind completely blank. She could vaguely hear Toby talking about the wreck.

“…never saw it coming.” She heard Toby say.

She caught a few more phrases. _Blindsided. Airbag._

“…it was _A_.”

“What?” Spencer gasped.

Ali felt a flash of anger as she pictured some maniac behind the wheel deliberately trying to run down Emily and Toby. She thought about the airbag hitting Emily and she thought about how much she must have been hurting. And that enraged Ali. She started grinding her teeth, picturing what she was going to do to this person if she ever got her hands on them. She heard more bits and pieces to the story, still in a state of semi-shock. _Seatbelt jammed. Tried to get away._

“…and she used the door to knock the jackass down.”

Wait, what? What was that last bit? Ali lifted her head up as Toby talked about how Emily had tried to stop _A_ from escaping.

 _Oh, Em, you stupid brave idiot, you didn’t…_ She closed her eyes with a frown. Of course Emily had put up a fight. That’s what she did.

Then she heard something that made her blood run cold. _A_ had pulled Emily out of the car and there had been a struggle and _A_ had hit her in the chest.

“ _A_ did _what_?” Ali snapped. She stared at Toby and he saw something register in her eyes. All at once, her spark was back. “After all that, that psycho _attacked_ her?”

Fury flashed across Ali’s face. Everyone could see the intent to kill in her eyes. If they didn’t think she was capable of murder before, they certainly did now.

“I didn’t see the whole thing. I couldn’t get to them. I was trying to cut my way out of my seatbelt,” Toby said. “I know she got in a few good licks, but when she cornered _A_ , _A_ used the door as a weapon. Slammed it into her chest to knock her out of the way.”

Ali was clenching her jaw so hard she could feel the tension in her temples. Whether it was the impact from the airbag or the door hitting her in the chest, _A_ was the reason Emily had almost died. _Again_. Ali felt a heated anger surging through her body. She calmly took her coffee cup and sat it down on the small end-table next to her. She stood up.

“Ali?” Aria looked at her unsurely.

They all knew how unpredictable she was when she was pissed. She was like a volcano waking up from a long hibernation. And not just a little volcano that bubbled over, blew out some steam, and oozed a bit of deadly lava. She was Mount Vesuvius ready to destroy Pompeii. None of them wanted to be in the vicinity if she erupted.

“I’m an idiot,” she hissed. “I’m an idiot for not seeing this coming. _A_ is targeting her to get back at me for not staying out of it.” Ali clenched her fists. “I should have known the bastard would turn it back on her.”

She shook her head with a look of disbelief and a dark angry smile on her face. She felt stupid for feeling so blindsided. Without saying another word she started to walk away from her friends. They all looked at one another in alarm. Spencer jumped up and walked after her.

“Where are you going?” Spencer asked, reaching out to grab her arm.

“I don’t know.” Ali clasped her hands together in a grip so tight that her knuckles blanched. “To cry in a closet…or to hit something. I’ll decide on the way.”

“I’ll come with you.” Spencer offered.

“No.” Ali shook her head. “I need to be alone right now. I just need a few minutes to myself, Spence.”

Spencer nodded in understanding. She walked back over to where Toby was sitting.

“Where’s she going?” Hanna asked.

“She’s going to punch a wall,” Spencer said with certainty.

Toby laughed. Something he had in common with Alison DiLaurentis. He never thought he’d see the day.

“Better a wall than Tanner,” Aria said.

“Yeah, no kidding. I thought Ali was going to deck her today.” Spencer sighed.

“How did the questioning go?” Caleb asked.

“Our tiny warrior here is the only one who kept her mouth shut.” Spencer motioned to Aria. “You are smarter than all of us combined, little big one.”

“Smart has nothing to do with it. She scares me into submission,” Aria admitted.

“I’m trying to do what I can to get her to lighten up on you girls,” Toby said. “I can’t promise anything, but she took me seriously when I told her that the wreck wasn’t an accident. I asked her to put an APB out on the driver, and considering all I had were an estimated height and weight she seemed pretty receptive to what I was saying. I basically all but told her about _A_ without actually telling her about _A_.”

“That is going to piss _A_ off.” Spencer brought her thumb up to her mouth and bit down on her nail.

“Ali was right. All we have left is the truth. _A_ tried to kill Ali on that bus, and that same person almost killed Emily today. This has to stop,” Toby said. “Before someone is killed…”

He feared that Emily wouldn’t survive the next attack. They all did.

“Has anyone called Pam?” Ezra questioned.

“Damn it. Her mom.” Toby gasped, a wave of guilt overtook him. How had he forgotten the first rule of emergencies? Contact the family. “I should have called her mom.” He grabbed his phone and stared at the blank screen. “My phone is dead. Does anyone have her number?”

“Emily said something about Pam getting a new phone issued for work. It should be in Emily’s phone contacts,” Hanna said.

“We couldn’t find her phone after the wreck. Does anyone know where in Philly Pam is staying?” Toby questioned.

“I can check with my mom. They get together a couple of times a month for dinner,” Aria piped in. “And we should check with Ali, too. She might know how to get in touch with her.”

Toby and Spencer set out to find Ali. It was equal parts them wanting to get in touch with Pam and wanting to make sure Ali hadn’t gone off the deep end. They were worried she was going to do something destructive, though whether it was going to be destruction of property or destruction to herself, they still weren’t sure. As they were walking down the hallway searching for Ali, Spencer took Toby’s hand. She glanced down and saw the abrasions on his knuckles.

“Want to tell me what that’s about, Muhammad Ali?” Spencer nodded to the bruises forming on his knuckles.

“How do you know it didn’t happen in the crash?” Toby asked curiously.

“Because I know what it looks like when someone throws a punch.”

Toby stopped walking. He rubbed his forehead and frowned.

“I would give anything to have five minutes alone with the person who is doing this.” His fingers curled as he tightened his injured fist. “We wouldn’t need the justice system if I got my way.”

“Who needs the justice system when we have you?” Spencer smiled. “You always have our backs.”

“Wasn’t good enough today,” he huffed.

“Toby, don’t go down this road…”

“ _A_ nearly killed her.” He frowned at the ground. “This shouldn’t have happened.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

“ _A_ threw a mack truck at you. What more could you have done? Stopped it with your body? It’s not like you’re Superman.”

“I couldn’t get out, Spence,” he heaved out a sigh. “I was pinned in my seat. I couldn’t get to my weapon. I couldn’t call for help. I couldn’t reach Emily. I couldn’t do a damn thing.” He lowered his head and put his face in his palms. “I thought I was going to watch _A_ kill her. And I couldn’t do anything to stop it.” He rubbed his face. “I became a cop to protect people. And I failed today. I failed Emily and I failed you girls.”

“Tobias Cavanaugh…”

“Tobias?” Toby snorted out a shocked laugh. “That’s new.”

“…I never want to hear you talk like that. You didn’t fail anyone.” She traced the outline of the gash on his head. A bruise was already forming. He flinched. “What happened out there today didn’t just happen to Emily. It happened to you, too. You put yourself in danger for us every single day. When we’re facing something you’re right there on the front lines with us.”

“The whole point of me being on the front lines is so that things like this…” he motioned to the hospital hallway, “…don’t happen.”

“You can’t let this get to you. That’s what _A_ wants. We are closing in, and _A_ knows it. We’ve got them scared, Toby. So now this person is panicking and trying to do everything they can to break us down. Going after Emily hits us all where it hurts, and _A_ knows that. But now that we know she’s the target we can protect her. We can’t let this person tear us apart. They can only win if we let them. So, we don’t let them. We fight back with everything we have. We stick together. _A_ does not get to take us away from each other. _A_ doesn’t get to win. WE win.”

“Imagine that.” Toby smiled. “A Hastings talking about winning.”

“It’s what we do best.” Spencer shrugged. “Now, come on. Let’s find our lost puppy and make sure she hasn’t destroyed a very expensive piece of medical research equipment while trying to work through her anger.”

They didn’t have to look for long. They found her in the hospital chapel, of all places. When they walked up next to her they saw that the pew in front of her was damaged. She was holding a cracked piece of wood in her hands from a broken book-holder from the back of the pew. She didn’t look remorseful at all. Spencer didn’t know how it had ended up broken, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

Spencer and Toby shared a knowing look, both having the same thought as they looked at Ali. They had both seen her spiral more than once. After her mom died she hadn’t moved from her bed in days. After Charlotte died she basically became catatonic. After Emily had collapsed outside the loft she’d become like a ghost. The life had been completely drained from her. They were concerned that she was heading for another breakdown. They couldn’t get a read on her. She sat perfectly still in the pew, eyes straight ahead…unblinking.

“How are you holding up, Ali?” Spencer asked softly as she sat down next to her.

She reacted to Spencer’s voice, which was encouraging. She turned to face her, dropping the fractured wood to the floor. At first she didn’t say anything. She finally blinked.

“It should have been me,” she said.

“What?” Toby frowned.

“Everything that’s happening to Emily…she doesn’t deserve it. She’s never been anything but kind to people. And me? I…I did terrible things. If anyone deserves to be punished it’s me. Not her.”

Spencer’s jaw dropped, unsure of how to react. Toby was the one who broke the weird tension.

“That is such a load of crap.” Toby rolled his eyes.

“Toby!” Spencer cried in surprise.

“Ali, neither of you deserves this. If Emily was awake right now she’d lay into your ass for even suggesting it.”

Spencer wasn’t sure what surprised her the most: the fact that Toby was cussing in a chapel, or the fact that Toby was defending Ali. Ali was equally as stunned. She stared in shock and her face twisted into confusion.

“But…”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. You are not some lightning rod of punishment that attracts being hit. No one deserves pain and abuse. No one.” He shook his head. “What’s happening to Emily isn’t fate or karma or any other kind of extension of the universe being cruel for the sake of being cruel. It’s life. It’s life being unfair, solely because that’s just the way life works. It doesn’t matter if you’re a model citizen or you skirt the edge of being immoral…the one thing that makes us all the same is that we’re not in control. We can’t stop bad things from happening any more than we can change the weather or stop the earth from orbiting. And the sooner we stop blaming ourselves for something we have no control over, the sooner we can work to fix the things that we _can_ control.”

“I’m just so sick of this.” Ali rubbed her eyes.

“We’re going to get this freak,” Toby said. “And I promise you when we do, I will make them pay for everything.”

“Just save me a piece.” Ali’s voice came out as a menacing growl.

“I hold, you punch?” Toby offered.

“You hold, I _throttle_.” Ali corrected him.

Spencer stared at her boyfriend and best friend in shock. Were Toby Cavanaugh and Alison DiLaurentis actually _bonding_ over something?

“Are you two seriously talking about doling out some _Lethal Weapon_ type vigilante justice in front of little baby Jesus?” Spencer pointed to a ceramic mold of Jesus.

“You want in?” Toby asked.

“Of course. Duh.” Spencer nodded. She looked at the broken pew and the busted book-holder. “So, um…what happened here?” Her curiosity finally got the better of her.

“Something I’m probably going to have to say like 50 Hail Marys for.” Ali pushed the broken wood with her feet.

“Are you even Catholic?” Spencer asked.

“I’m honestly just surprised that this place didn’t burst into flames when I walked in here.” Ali looked around at the chapel. She picked up the wood and stared at it. “I’d say that I’m going to hell, but I’m already there.”

“This isn’t forever.” Spencer put her hand on Ali’s arm.

Ali flinched. Emily had said the same thing to her when they were fighting the other day. Emily had always been stubbornly protective, even if it was at the extent of her own safety.

“She’s had to deal with so much.” Ali shook her head with a sigh. “School. Her heart. Her dad. Trying to look out for her mom…”

“We actually need to call her mom. Do you have her new number?” Spencer asked.

Ali felt a new surge of grief roll over her body. Emily’s mother was going to be beside herself when she heard about this.

“Emily does. It’s in her phone.”

“I found mine in the wreckage, but I couldn’t find Em’s,” Toby said. “Did she leave any contact information? The name of the hotel? Anything?”

“I didn’t even know she’d left town until Emily told me this morning.” Ali shook her head. “I guess we could call her office and find out.”

They heard the squeak of a door from behind them and then the chapel brightened as the light from the hallway flooded the room. They turned around and saw Caleb in the doorway.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you…”

Ali was the first one to her feet.

“Is it Emily? Is she – ”

“She’s in recovery.” Caleb quickly put Ali’s mind at ease. “The doctor wants to talk to us.”

Ali’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. She nodded. They followed Caleb back into the waiting room. She saw a tall man in scrubs with his surgery cap on standing off to the side writing something on a digital pad. He looked up and saw them approaching. All eyes were on Ali as she took a step towards the doctor, her throat clogged with a knot she couldn’t seem to swallow. She looked back at Spencer, her eyes begging for her support. Spencer closed the gap between them and they faced the surgeon.

“I’m Alison DiLaurentis. I’m…Emily’s my…we…” She was so nervous she couldn’t get her words out right.

“Emily is resting comfortably,” the surgeon said, obviously feeling sympathy for her plight.

“She’s – she’s okay?” Ali asked tentatively.

“Well, yes and no. There were some complications,” he replied.

Ali felt like the floor was opening up beneath her. She grabbed Spencer’s arm and automatically pulled her closer. Spencer returned her grip with a fierce squeeze.

“What kind of complications?” Ali squeaked.

“The good news is that we were able to relieve the pressure on her chest that was preventing her from being able to breathe. The blunt force trauma caused some superficial bleeding. We were able to relieve that pressure without having to put in a chest tube. But there’s another problem we found while we were treating her. We found a microscopic tear in her heart that’s going to require a more extensive surgery.”

Ali wanted to cry, but she was too busy trying not to pass out.

“We unfortunately couldn’t proceed with it, because her blood pressure was too unstable. We’ve been able to slow the bleeding, but until she’s stable she’s a high risk for anesthesia. Our hope is that she stabilizes today and we can put her on the books for surgery tomorrow.”

“But…she…” Ali looked at Spencer for help.

“She has a heart condition.” Spencer understood what Ali was getting it.

“I’m aware of her history.” The surgeon nodded. “I’ve spoken with Doctor Hardy about the surgery he is recommending for her heart, and rather than having to sedate her more than once we’ve agreed that it would be in her best interest to have the experimental procedure done in conjunction with the surgery to repair the tear.” His brow tightened. It made Ali sick to her stomach. “Unfortunately, with this kind of injury, the odds of survival are significantly lower.”

Ali’s knees locked. Her feet went numb. She was too afraid to ask.

Spencer wasn’t.

“By how much?”

“By about half.”

Thirty percent was now fifteen percent. Ali felt a range of emotions rushing through her body. Sorrow. Pain. Misery. Heartbreak. And fear. Absolute fear. Pure terror didn’t seem to cover it. It was worse. It was like being on a plane spiraling into a deadly descent that you knew was going to end in a fiery disaster.

“Of course, we’ll discuss all of this with her when she wakes up,” the doctor said. “Ultimately, the decision will be left up to her.”

After the doctor finished giving his update he told them that he would let them know as soon as Emily was out of recovery. When he walked away everyone looked at one another. They all knew what Emily’s decision would be. She didn’t have much of a choice. She was going to have to have the surgery. It was her only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual thing my friend said after she got to the end of this chapter: “Okay, calm down, Satan” followed by, “I hope your readers threaten to beat you with a sharp stick.” Hang tight for this ride, ladies and gentlemen. It's about to get bumpy as hell. It’s an emotional rollercoaster with many unexpected twists and crazy loop-de-loops. I started this story with this epic plan in motion to torture my friends who got me to do this in the first place (you can blame them for the drama!). The angst, ooooh the angst. But the ride will be worth it.


	30. Reality Bites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um, remember when I told you that you'd need to sign a permission slip for this feels trip? Yeah, don't say I didn't warn you...

* * *

Emily heard the familiar sound of a heart monitor beeping. The pulse oximeter measuring her oxygen level bleated in a slower lower tone. She couldn’t move at first. Her body felt heavy. Everything was aching. Her chest was throbbing. There was a dull pain radiating from her collarbone all the way down to her bellybutton. She took a deep breath and tensed up in discomfort. The air felt like frigid ice water in her lungs. It irritated her throat. She felt a tight tension in her sternum when she inhaled and exhaled. The muscles between her ribs felt like they were being stretched and pulled apart. She let out a grunt of pain and opened her eyes.

She felt something cool tickling her wrist and when she looked down she saw an IV catheter pumping fluids into her vein. Her senses were so heightened and she was so sensitive to everything that she could feel the liquid trickling into her vein and up her arm. She ran her tongue over her chapped lips and then closed her mouth. She heard a noise and it took her a minute to realize that it was blood rushing to her head. It was making a horrible pulsing noise and made her ears twitch and burn from the inside.

There was a brief moment of confusion as she tried to remember how she’d ended up in the hospital. Then the images flooded her mind; a flash of twisted metal, broken glass, and the feeling of not being able to breathe. The memories were coming to her so fast that she felt like she was twirling around on an out of control merry-go-round. She remembered seeing the truck coming right for them. She remembered thinking she was going to die. She remembered the force of the impact…the pain in her chest. She remembered _A_. She remembered being yanked out of the car, being strangled, being hit. She remembered Toby screaming her name. The memories came to her quicker. Flashes of the ambulance. Not being able to catch her breath. That feeling of terror she felt when she felt her lungs stop working. The thought of never seeing Ali again. The last thing she remembered was Toby squeezing her hand.

She started shaking, making her aching body throb worse. She slid her hand up from the bed and on to her stomach. She stretched her side and rolled slightly to try and get into a more comfortable position, but she quickly found out that it didn’t matter how she was laying…her body just _hurt_. She looked around the room, feeling woozy. She saw a small end-table and a worn chair sitting in one corner and a slightly larger less worn chair in the other. There was a colorful abstract picture framed and hanging on the wall.

A shadow fell over her bed as a nurse walked into the room. She was dressed in blue scrubs with a matching surgical cap on her head. She was wearing a surgical mask on her face. She didn’t say a word as she reached for Emily’s IV line.

“What’s happening?” Emily asked, her throat burning, her voice husky. Her vision was fading in and out, a weird pulsing haziness that distorted what she was seeing. She saw the nurse putting a syringe with a needle into her IV line. “What are you doing? What’s that?”

“Just lie still, Emily.” The voice made her skin crawl. She gasped. She recognized that voice. “It’ll all be over soon.”

Emily trembled. It couldn’t be. She looked at the masked nurse with wide eyes, her arm starting to burn where the injection was slowly making its way into her vein.

“No.” Emily huffed.

The nurse laughed and pulled down her mask.

_Sara._

But how? She was dead.

“No!” Emily called out more firmly. She looked down at where the IV line hooked into the IV catheter in her hand. “What did you do to me?” She groaned.

The machines she was hooked up to started beeping faster as her pulse started to rise. Her chest started to burn. Emily freaked out. She reached over to try and pry her IV catheter out, but Sara grabbed her hands.

“No! Get off me!” She fought against Sara. “Help! Someone help!”

Sara shoved Emily’s hands up beside her head and pinned them there. Emily thrashed against her, yelling for help, her chest throbbing in pain. Sara just leaned over her with a menacing smile on her face. Emily felt herself getting drowsy. She fought it. She let out a loud scream as her vision went dark. She felt her body jerking. She threw her head from side to side. She rolled her hips and kicked her feet. Seconds later, she heard Alison.

“Em?”

Her cries had roused Alison from beside her. Emily was thrashing around in her hospital bed, panting. She tried to scream, but the noise got caught in her throat. Her eyes were shut tight. Alison stumbled out of the chair she’d pushed up beside Emily’s bed. She’d been curled up next to her since Emily had come out of the recovery room. Alison heard the machines monitoring Emily picking up speed and then Emily let out a gurgled cry.

“No!” Emily was flailing around, tugging at her IV line. She was dripping with sweat. “What did you do to me?”

“Emily!” Alison tried to pry Emily’s fingers away from the IV before she yanked it out. “Emily, calm down.” Alison pushed her knee up on the mattress to get closer to her. She leaned over her and reached out to touch her face to try and still her motions, careful not to jostle her oxygen line. “Relax. Stop struggling.”

“No! Stop!” Emily cried out in her sleep.

“Em, listen to me. Listen to the sound of my voice.” Alison kept one hand on Emily’s arm to try and keep her from tugging at her IV. Her other hand was pressed firmly against Emily’s damp sweat-soaked cheek. “You’re dreaming. It’s not real. Whatever is happening is not real. You’re okay. I’m here. I’m right here with you. Just listen to me. Concentrate on me.”

Emily stopped kicking, but the numbers on her heart monitor were still climbing. Her head was still jerking like she was trying to get away from something, her lips twisted into a pained grimace.

“Come on. Come back to me, sweetie.”

Emily was breathing heavily through her nose, pushing out the air that the oxygen line was blowing into her nostrils, but she stopped jerking her head around.

“Listen to me. _Feel_ me.” She pressed her fingers into Emily’s cheek. She thought about how Emily had pulled her out of her spiral last night, Emily’s words echoing in her mind. “I’m right here. I’m _right_ _here_.” She slowly repeated it the second time for emphasis.

Emily still seemed to be frozen in some state of perpetual fear. It’s like she wanted to wake up, but her body wouldn’t let her. Alison didn’t know what to do to help her. So she did only thing she could think of to reach her – she kissed her. She leaned down and brushed their lips together, her mouth gentle and reassuring against Emily’s. The kiss was quick, and somewhat effective. She felt Emily stop trembling. She pulled back, her lips inches from Emily’s.

“I’m with you. You’re safe.” She slowly pulled her knee back and put her foot against the ground.

She leaned back, her eyes fixed on Emily’s as she waited for them to open. She wanted her face to be the first thing Emily saw when she woke up. She wanted her to know that she was safe. Emily relaxed, though not entirely. Alison continued soothingly stroking her cheek and Emily started to calm down underneath her touch.

“I’m here, Em,” she said again. “I’ve got you.” She gently released her hold on Emily’s arm and rubbed her fingers against the back of Emily’s hand. “Just take it easy. You’re okay.” She gingerly pulled her hand away from Emily’s hand and brought it up to Emily’s face, pushing a lock of her hair that was tangled in her oxygen line away from her face. “Open your eyes, baby. Just open your eyes and look at me.”

Emily became completely still for a few seconds. Alison could see her lips twitching. Emily’s eyelids flipped open and she shot up in bed. Alison jerked back in surprise.

The sudden movement caused Emily more discomfort than she was prepared for. Emily sucked in a breath of air, gulping it down like she had been underwater for too long. When she moved she felt a deep ache in her chest. She leaned her head into the wall, her spine pressed firmly against the solid structure behind her. Her eyes scanned the entire room. She was certain Sara was hiding somewhere just waiting for her to wake up so she could do something horrible like kill Ali while she watched.

She felt her bed move and it took her a minute to realize that Alison was in front of her, half on the bed, half off. Emily’s chest pulsed up and down in short bursts as she tried to work through her confusion and to get used to the aching feeling in her chest.

Alison saw a look of pain flash across Emily’s face. It was tinged with a hint of fright. She looked like an animal in the wild that had been injured and was being cornered by rescuers, only the animal didn’t know the rescuers’ intentions.

“Easy.” Alison put her hands on Emily’s face again, trying to keep her grounded in reality. “Don’t get yourself worked up…”

But before Alison could finish, Emily heaved out a breath and started coughing. Alison cringed when she heard Emily’s chest rattling. She hated to hear her struggling. Emily started shaking again, though whether it was from fear or pain, Alison couldn’t tell.

“Em – Emily, hey. Look at me.” She scooted closer to her, keeping a steady grasp on Emily’s face, cradling her cheeks firmly in her hands. “You have to calm down. Just take a breath.”

Emily nodded, finally making the eye contact that Alison had been waiting for. She was slowly pulling Emily out of the darkness in her mind.

“She – she was in here.” Emily was shivering. Her brow was dripping with perspiration.

“Who?” Alison asked. “Who was in here?”

“She tried to…” Emily looked down at her IV line, a burning sensation climbing up her arm. “…it’s in my IV. She put something in my IV. I have to get it out. Ali, help me. Help me get it out.”

She reached for her IV catheter again, but Alison grabbed her wrist to stop her. She never broke eye contact with Emily.

“Nothing happened to your IV. No one has been in here. I’ve been here since the moment they brought you out of surgery,” Alison tried to calm her down. “No one will ever hurt you while I’m around, Em.”

“No, no.” Emily looked around the room in confusion. It looked exactly like the room she’d seen Sara in. “I’m groggy, but I know what I saw. She’s alive, Ali. Sara Harvey…”

“No, Sara is dead. You had a nightmare,” Alison rubbed her palm against Emily’s face. “You still have anesthesia in your system.” Her voice was calm and quiet.

“But I – I saw her. She was dressed as a nurse and was wearing a m-mask. She came in and…”

“It was just a dream.” Alison shook her head. “I have been here the whole time. I would never leave you. You know that. I promise you you’re safe.”

She brushed her fingers against Emily’s arm. Emily’s skin felt hot, hotter than normal. Alison glanced at the machines monitoring Emily. Her pulse was slowing down, but it was still too high.

“You need to lie down.” Alison tried to guide her back down into the bed.

“I just need…” Emily trailed off, not really sure where she was going with her statement. It was usually a reflex for her to say she was fine, but this time she wasn’t fine, and she knew it. “I…”

“Emily, _now_ ,” Alison said sharply, trying not to let Emily see how much she was internally panicking.

Emily was too exhausted to fight it. She slid down and settled her head against the pillow and closed her eyes. The second she was in the dark she saw the truck speeding towards her again. She could almost feel the impact of the crash. Her eyes jerked open. Alison saw her flinch and she softly ran her fingers across the left side of her hairline. She tucked Emily’s stray hairs behind the oxygen line that was hooked around her ear. She pushed the heel of her hand into Emily’s jaw, her thumb at the edge of Emily’s lips, her fingers aligned with the side of Emily’s face. She quietly watched her, waiting for her to come out of her nightmare.

Emily concentrated on Alison’s touch. She could feel herself settling down. She took several shallow breaths through her nose, the cool oxygen pumping fresh air into her nostrils. She pushed her lips together and pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Her tongue felt fuzzy, almost numb. It took a few minutes to get her equilibrium back to normal.

“How long have I been out?” Emily asked, somewhat dazed, her throat still tingling from where the tube had been.

“A couple of hours.” Alison’s palm slid down and came to rest on the side of Emily’s neck. She could feel Emily’s pulse beating rapidly against her thumb.

“Is Toby okay?” Emily’s voice cracked, wrought with emotion. She took in a breath. “He hit his head in the crash. He said he was okay, but…”

“Toby is fine,” Alison assured her.

“Are _you_ okay?” Emily looked at her with such sympathy that it nearly made Alison burst into tears.

“Depends on your definition of okay,” Alison said quietly, her eyes shooting towards the ceiling to avoid letting Emily see how much she was hurting. It didn’t work. Emily could see her trying to hold her emotions in.

“I’m sorry, Ali,” Emily sighed.

That got Alison’s attention extremely quick.

“Are you kidding me? You nearly get flattened by a truck, get the crap kicked out of you by a psycho, and crash and burn and _you’re_ apologizing?” She sounded exasperated.

“Not for that.” Emily clarified. She blinked slowly, her vision blurring. She felt drowsy and shaky. “For everything this is putting you through.” Emily closed her eyes, suddenly feeling drained. “I know this doesn’t just affect me. I know you’re hurting, too. I feel like I’ve brought you nothing but misery since I got back.”

Emily kept her eyes closed, trying to concentrate on the oxygen flowing into her nose, down her throat, and into her lungs. She could breathe. That’s all that mattered.

“I wouldn’t trade a second with you.” Alison kissed her forehead. Emily’s skin was like fire underneath her lips.

Emily opened her eyes and noticed that Alison was furrowing her brow with an anxious expression on her face. She pushed her palm up against Emily’s forehead, trying to gauge her temperature. All of her vitals were being flashed across a screen except her temperature.

“It’ll pass. My body is just worked up.” Emily rotated her shoulder so she could pick her arm up to put her hand on Alison’s arm, but the motion sent an unexpected sharp pain across the front of her clavicle. She felt a slight tug in her chest and her eyes flickered in pain. She clamped her jaw shut and held in a shallow breath, more surprised at the sensation of the pain than the actual pain itself. She tried not to let Alison see, but of course her girl caught it.

“If you’re in pain I can get the doctor.” Alison moved her hand away from Emily’s forehead and cupped her cheek again. She could feel the tension in Emily’s jaw underneath her hand.

“It’s not that bad.” Emily blew out a breath.

The truth was that she just didn’t want any pain medications. She didn’t want anything that was going to make her drowsy. Her mind was much more painful than her physical discomfort. She also knew that the doctors were limited on what they could give her because of her heart. The pain meds she got last time she was in the hospital had made her feel worse instead of better.

She’d never been big on pain medications. She didn’t even like taking over-the-counter analgesics, much less anything prescription grade. She’d grown up learning that pain was her body’s way of communicating with her. It was nature’s way of telling her something. Nature was practically screaming at her with a bullhorn now, but she knew there was nothing that could be done to silence the screaming bastard, so she was just trying to roll with it.

“Really. It’s fine, Ali.”

Alison pinched her lips together and frowned.

“Honey, I can feel you shaking,” she said sadly. Emily was quivering. “You can’t just sit here and suffer.”

“Why not? I’ve gotten really good at it.” Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. She hadn’t meant to let that slip out. “Sorry. That was…” she huffed. “I didn’t mean that.”

But Ali knew that Emily meant it more than she’d ever admit. Her heart broke for Emily, and it also made her angry. Angry that this was happening to her. Angry that _A_ was making it worse.

“Em…” Her tone was soft and melancholy.

“They can’t give me much of anything for it anyway,” Emily murmured, still not feeling like she was fully awake. “I’m not stable enough.”

Ali looked at her, perplexed. Did Emily know just how unstable she was?

“How did you…”

“I can feel it,” Emily admitted. “It’s not just pain.” She could read the signs her body was sending her. She knew things were bad. She pushed her tongue against the back of her teeth and swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. “Back in the ambulance I felt this really weird sensation in my chest. It was above the pain. It was above everything. It was like my brain was trying to warn me. My body…” She felt her muscles twitch just at the mention of it. “…it was _screaming_ at me. And I got this really cold feeling in my veins, and I just…I knew.” She watched Ali’s expression very carefully. Emily could see the heartbreak she was trying to hide, “And judging by the look on your face, I’m going to guess my instincts were right.”

“We don’t need to talk about this right now.” Ali’s voice was clogged with despair. “You should…” she tried to keep herself together, for Emily’s sake, “…you should rest. It’s what you need.”

“Ali, what’s going on?” She begged her to talk to her. What had happened while she was unconscious? Ali was too freaked out for it just to be the wreck. Emily could see that something had happened. Hell, she could feel it.

“Not now. Just take it easy for right now.”

“It’s that bad, huh?” Emily closed her eyes again, suddenly feeling very dizzy.

Her lips parted to say something else, but she couldn’t speak. Her brain felt too jumbled to form a coherent thought. After a few seconds, Ali traced her fingers along Emily’s jaw, her index finger grazing the nasal cannula delivering fresh oxygen to Emily. She moved her palm down, dipping it underneath the oxygen line and laid her hand against the side of Emily’s neck. She could feel the sweat rolling down her body. Ali slid her hand to the back of Emily’s neck. Her brows raised in alarm at the heat rolling off of her. Emily sighed and let out a very faint groan.

“Em, are you still with me?” Ali asked, trying to hide her apprehension.

“I’m always with you,” Emily muttered, half out of it.

Normally, Ali would have had to fight the urge to kiss her for being so sentimental, but she was too worried to even think about it.

Out of nowhere, Emily shivered and inhaled a quaking breath. She felt the air hit her lungs with more force than she’d intended. She heaved out a wet cough, her chest momentarily tensing up. She felt a burning sensation rolling up her throat as she expelled the air in her lungs.

“That doesn’t sound good.” Ali cringed, her tone heightened with emotion, her heart galloping in unease.

“It’s residual from the tube that was in my throat.” Emily’s mouth barely moved as she spoke.

Or it was from the damn hole that _A_ had basically ripped open in her heart. Ali had to take a deep breath to keep her anger at bay. Anger wasn’t going to help Emily right now.

Emily’s lips twitched and her throat bobbed as she tried to swallow the weird discomfort left from the endotracheal tube.

Ali watched Emily’s chest rise and fall, afraid it might stop moving at any minute. She bit her lip to fight off the feeling of dread she felt. The cough, combined with the fact that Emily felt feverish was making her feel paranoid. She looked at the machines monitoring Emily, but they were holding steady. She pushed her palm firmly against Emily’s overheated cheek and frowned.

She heard someone shuffling into the room. Ali turned around and saw Toby walking in with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was looking at it like it had offended him in some way, like it wasn’t as worthy as the other coffees in the world.

Toby had taken it upon himself to be Emily’s guard…and Ali’s barista. There was no way he was leaving Emily alone after what had happened with _A_. The doctor had only wanted one person with Emily after she woke up, but he made an exception for Toby after Toby pulled rank with his uniform and said it was official police business. The doctor didn’t entirely believe him, but he didn’t argue. It made everyone feel a little better knowing that Toby was watching out for Ali and Emily.

“Hey, the café’s coffee-maker is on the fritz, so I had to settle for the dirt they have here. They were out of creamer, so I just…” He looked up and saw the anxious expression in Ali’s eyes. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can you get Joyce?” Ali gnawed at her lip and then turned back to face Emily, one hand on her face, the other still on the back of her neck, her fingers tangled in her hair.

Joyce had been someone else who took it upon herself to be there for Emily. She’d seen to it that she got assigned to Emily’s case. She’d done some shift switching to get the gig. Ali was grateful to her.

“Is everything okay?” Toby shifted nervously. He went from full grown man to scared little boy in an instant.

“I want someone to look at her. She’s shaking and she’s sweating like crazy.” She rubbed Emily’s cheekbone with her thumb.

“I’m okay, Ali.” Emily mumbled, her eyes still closed. “It’s just the anesthesia.” She carefully reached up and curled her fingers around Ali’s wrist.

“You’re hot.” Ali argued with a frown.

“So are you.” Emily’s eyes opened halfway, her eyelids still heavy. She had a hint of a smile on her face.

“Em, I’m serious. You’re burning up.” She felt like she could feel Emily’s temperature climbing by the second.

Emily knew that it was just a mixture of the shock her body had suffered, the nightmare, and the sedatives working their way out of her system. She understood why Ali was so worried, but she didn’t want her to stress out.

“Just give it a few minutes.” Emily smiled weakly, trying to reassure her worried love. She was already starting to perk up. “You and I both know I always run a little hot after a nightmare.”

“Not like this,” Ali said.

This time was different, because this time Emily was beyond vulnerable. Her defenses were down, and Ali knew that even something as small as an elevated body temperature could cause her to crash.

“Alison…”

“No. This isn’t a debate. And I swear to the God I offended by busting up a church that if you argue with me after what we’ve been through today I am going to smother you with a pillow.”

Emily stared at her. After a few seconds she decided that Ali was right, that she was delusional. Had Ali just said she’d damaged a church?

“I was just going to tell you that Toby already left.” Emily looked over Ali’s shoulder.

“Oh.” Ali turned around and viewed the empty doorway. He’d probably left to find Joyce the instant she had turned her back on him.

“You say ‘jump’ and Toby says ‘how high’? What happened while I was unconscious?” Emily felt like she’d woken up in bizzaro world.

“We had a…moment.” She thought back to the chapel when Toby had talked her down from her self-hatred. It was ironic, because Ali knew that Toby was blaming himself for what had happened to Emily as much as Ali was blaming herself. “Call it a spiritual awakening.” Nothing brought two people together like plotting a murder. Baby Jesus’s judgey eyes were staring at her in her mind.

“What could the two of you have possibly bonded over?”

“You.”

“Me?” She asked in shock.

“I know. I’m as surprised as you are,” Ali admitted. “If you can get me and Toby to shake hands, I’d love to see what you could do for our war torn nation. I’m convinced you could probably make every dictator and diplomat in the world see eye to eye, or at least guilt them into behaving like adults.”

“So, what…you two are on the same side now?”

“We’re on _your_ side, which makes us teammates, so yes,” Ali said.

Emily nodded slowly. She glanced towards the window.

“Open the curtains,” she said.

“What? Why?” Ali asked in confusion.

“I want to look for flying pigs.”

For the first time since Emily had come to, Ali felt herself smile…and then laugh. Emily loved seeing her smile, mostly because their lives had been filled with so much pain lately, but also because Alison had a beautiful smile. And her laugh was to die for. When she laughed, Emily felt it in her soul. Her laugh was just pure joy. It was adorable. Her little dimples made Emily melt every time. For a few seconds she completely forgot her pain. She smiled stupidly at Ali, knowing the medications she was on probably made her look like a drunk clown, but she didn’t care.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Emily asked, tentatively trying to move her arm again so she could put her hand on Ali’s face. This time, she didn’t feel as much tension in her chest.

“I think I have an idea.” Ali nodded, automatically leaning in to Emily’s touch.

Ali could still feel Emily shivering. Her hand was practically vibrating against Ali’s cheek. Ali ran her hand up to Emily’s wrist and wrapped her fingers around the ball of her thumb, pulling her hand down to her lips and kissing her palm. Emily smiled and lowered her hand.

Ali sighed, her eyes flickering to the monitors. Still holding steady.

Emily hadn’t missed her girlfriend’s attentiveness. All of her health issues had basically turned Ali into a health care professional. At this point, Doctor Google had nothing on her. She could see Ali concentrating on her vitals. When she turned back to Emily her expression went from focused to caring. Emily had always known Ali had a soft underbelly. Even during high school when she tried to make herself bigger and bolder, Emily had been able to see beyond her act. At her core, Alison DiLaurentis had one of the kindest hearts when it came to the people she loved. It always made Emily smile when she saw that side of her, the side that Ali had worked so hard hide in high school. Why she wanted to hide that beauty, Emily would never know. She was just glad Ali had dropped her walls and let that side of herself free.

Ali glanced back at Emily’s monitors again, clearly lost in thought.

“We always seem to end up here, don’t we?” Emily asked.

In high school, after Emily kissed her in the library Ali had run away under the pretense that she was dead. After Ali told Emily she loved her, Emily had basically died. Emily had told Ali about _A_ and Ali had almost died. Ali forced Emily to let her in to the investigation and here they were again. Every time they let each other in some sadistic outside force tried to drive them apart with death. God help them if one of them proposed marriage.

“Yeah,” Ali sighed. “You know you don’t have to almost die to get my attention, right? You can cool it with the grand gestures.”

“Because emesis basins and bedpans are so romantic.” Emily laughed, the motion hurting her chest.

She winced and coughed softly. It wasn’t as strong as her previous coughing fit, but Ali could still hear the congestion in her chest. She felt Emily’s forehead again. It was still warm. Emily trailed her palm up Ali’s arm and laid her hand on top of Ali’s forearm.

“I’m alert. I’m talking.” Emily tried to put Ali’s mind at ease. “Let’s just focus on that right now, okay?”

“You were nearly killed,” Ali whispered, her voice unstable. As it was, Emily’s chances of survival were sinking faster than the Titanic.

“It’s not the first time,” Emily replied. She saw Ali holding back tears and her tone softened. Her hand quickly reached for Ali’s face again, her palm landing delicately on the side of her neck. “Hey, don’t worry. You know me. I’ve got more lives than a cat.”

Ali swallowed hard. How many of those nine lives did Emily have left? Ali opened her mouth to tell her what the doctor had said, but she couldn’t do it. She knew she’d find out soon enough, if she didn’t already know. Emily was very intuitive.

Ali rubbed her hand on top of Emily’s, feeling a raised abrasion below her knuckles. She pulled Emily’s hand away from her neck to examine it. For the first time, she noticed the scabbed divots from where the flesh had been torn away from Emily’s soft skin. It looked like it had been scraped on pavement. It dawned on Ali that it must have happened when Emily was fighting _A_. Tears of anger burned her eyes.

“When I get my hands on this person I am going to stick a knife in their throat and kill them horribly,” Ali was seething in rage.

“Maybe you should take it easy on the murder talk. Tanner would just love a reason to come at you harder.” Emily curled her fingers around Ali’s hand in a motion to try and relieve some of her tension.

“So then I’ll give her one.” Ali’s eyes were aflame with fury.

Emily rubbed her thumb up and down Ali’s wrist, trying to soothe her. It didn’t help Ali’s anger much. Some psycho had put their hands on her girlfriend and that ignited every murderous cell in her body. She thought about what must have been going through Emily’s mind when _A_ ripped her out of the car. She knew Emily, and she knew she’d put up a hell of a fight. From what Toby had told her, she’d almost singlehandedly caught the bastard. Still, she couldn’t believe that Emily had been put in that position in the first place. The amount of planning _A_ had done to hurt her was terrifying to think about. And yet here Emily sat, comforting _her_.

“God, I am so angry, Em.” She croaked, tilting her head towards the ceiling. “I’m so angry that I can’t stand it.” It came out broken, the cracks in her voice a very stark difference to her normally confident and controlled tone.

She lowered her head and rubbed her face with her fingers, trying everything she could think of to make her emotions go away. She just wanted to run from her feelings, to pretend everything was going to be okay. Emily slowly pushed herself up against the head of the bed, dragging her pillow with her. She expected Ali to yell at her to lie back down, but Ali just buried her fingers deeper into her face, letting out a frustrated moan.

“Ali…” Emily calmly pulled Ali’s hands away from her face

Ali’s eyes fixated on Emily’s kind and sensitive eyes, bright and hopeful despite everything she’d been through. On a lesser person, the light inside would have dimmed long ago. But not Emily. Her pain was evident, but her light still burned bright. Ali couldn’t look into Emily’s eyes and feel anything other than love. She felt her rage shifting into sadness. She never wanted to see that light in Emily’s eyes go it. If it ever did, Ali felt like her soul might die with it. Emily noticed the shift in her dynamic.

“Hey, don’t go to that place.” Emily rubbed Ali’s arm, her IV line rolling against Ali’s skin. It was just a reminder of where they were and what was coming next. Ali blinked back tears.

“I can’t help it,” she tried not to cry, but it was hard to keep her emotions from overtaking her.

Knowing that Emily had been used as _A_ ’s punching bag made her feel sick. The pain that Emily must have gone through was too much for Ali to think about. But as much as she tried to push it away, she couldn’t. The floodgates opened and Ali’s shoulders slumped and she sank down, a quiet sob jolting her chest. The realization that this could be her last night with Emily hit her hard.

“I can’t believe you fought _A_ alone.” Ali leaned forward and cupped Emily’s face. Her cheeks were still slick with sweat.

Emily could see Ali’s eyes glistening with tears.

“You are so stupid, Emily.” She bit her tongue and shook her head before planting a desperate kiss on Emily’s lips. “So stupid.” She pushed her forehead against Emily’s, one of her tears falling on to Emily’s cheek.

The heat from Emily’s skin was radiating against her face. Ali pulled back and met Emily’s eyes, which were also full of tears, and then she pushed her lips against Emily’s again. She pulled away, one of her hands sliding to the nape of Emily’s neck.

“Why would you do that?” She kissed her again. “What were you thinking?” Her words were angry, but her kisses were delicate and sad.

“I thought I could put an end to it,” Emily said, her voice tinged with something. Regret, maybe? She ran her fingers up Ali’s cheek and into her hair. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be safe, Ali. You deserve to be able to walk down the street without worrying about what’s lurking around the corner. You deserve to enjoy a cup of coffee without wondering if something terrible is going to happen to you. You deserve to have conversations with people without second guessing their intentions. You deserve to live your life. I want that for you.”

It didn’t surprise Ali in the least that Emily’s instincts were to shield her from harm. Ali had the same instincts. One thing they had in common was how far they’d go to protect each other.

“My world means nothing without you in it. There is no me without you.” Ali cried. “You are the only reason I know how to love.”

“Alison, you have the greatest capacity for love I’ve ever seen.” Emily gently rubbed her cheek. “Just because you hid it doesn’t mean I didn’t see it. You are so much better at caring than you give yourself credit for.”

“You’ve always seen the best in me, Em.” She wiped the tears from her face, her fingers brushing Emily’s hand. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You look at me…you see me, and you make everything okay.” Ali smiled. “You are the only person in my life who helps me feel like…” Ali paused, taking a thoughtful breath, “me,” she said, peering at Emily. “You’re my heart.”

“Wow, eye contact and a conversation. We _are_ on a date. You might want to be careful. I think the next step is me taking you to the bedroom and having my way with you.” Emily smirked.

They both laughed softly. Emily felt a twinge of pain. Her eyes fluttered. She blinked slowly. Without saying a word, Ali pushed her down towards the bed until Emily was lying down again. All of Ali’s emotions took a backseat to taking care of Emily. She was getting her settled when she heard footsteps approaching. Toby walked into the room. He saw the frown on Ali’s face, but before she could say anything about how he didn’t have a nurse on his arm he interrupted her silent disapproval.

“She’ll be here in a few minutes. She’s stuck with some old guy going on and on about his six ex-wives,” he said. He glanced at Emily. “How are you feeling, Em?”

“Like I was hit by a mack truck,” Emily replied, a timid smile on her face.

“Well, it clearly left your sense of humor intact.” He was happy to see that she was at least somewhat coherent.

“How’s your head?” Emily’s eyes drifted to the angry looking cut on his forehead. Swirls of crimson and violet were forming around it. She had a sudden flash to seeing Toby bleeding inside the car. She shook it off.

“Still attached.” Toby gently tapped the injury lightly. He frowned and then let out a sigh. “It’s nothing compared to…” He looked at her heart monitor and then looked back at Emily, an expression of remorse on his face.

“Look, Toby, what happened out there today isn’t on you. I hope you know that.”

“Spencer already gave me the speech.” Toby assured her.

“Good.”

“I’m going to go let everyone know that you’re up,” he said.

Ali mouthed a silent “thank you” to Toby. He nodded and then walked out of the room, passing by Joyce as he went.

“Emily Fields,” Joyce said as she walked into the room. “What the hell are you doing back here?” She walked over to Emily’s bedside, setting the electronic chart down on the table next to her. “You know you could have just called if you wanted to see me again.”

“Phone calls are overrated,” Emily said with a slight shrug, grimacing at the motion. She kept forgetting that certain sudden movements caused her discomfort. “Especially when I’m dealing with the most popular nurse in town.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” She pulled her stethoscope down from around her neck. “I’ve got this serial dater I’m taking care of and I think he’s eyeing me as wife number seven.”

“I don’t think your husband would take too kindly to that.” Emily smiled.

“Guys like that don’t care. They are so busy plotting how to get the goods that they don’t hear anything that’s said to them,” Ali stated.

“Exactly.” Joyce nodded in agreement. “Guy is a regular Larry King.” She shook her head with a laugh. “He had to tell me all about his exes. Wasn’t easy prying myself away from _that_ riveting tale…” she said sarcastically, “…but as soon as I heard you were up I bid Prince Not-so-Charming adieu. Looks like you saved me from becoming another divorce statistic.” She leaned over and very carefully placed the stethoscope against Emily’s chest. “Take a breath for me.”

Emily did as she was told. Joyce listened carefully for a few seconds, her face tight in thought. She did her best to keep her face flat, but Emily could see the concern in her eyes. She looked at Emily, a waning compassionate smile on her face. She listened for a good solid sixty seconds, the quiet air in the room hard for all of them.

“How’s your pain level?” Joyce asked as she pulled the stethoscope away from Emily’s chest.

“I’ve had worse.”

“That’s not an answer, Emily.” Ali shot her a displeased look. A look that clearly said _‘start talking or I will’_.

“Don’t make me bring out the little emoji chart and make you point to it like you’re a child.” Joyce quickly agreed with Ali.

Emily took in a deep breath, trying to put a number on her pain. It felt so weird. Like she was a “rate your experience after this near death situation” survey.

“I guess maybe a six or so.”

“She’s downplaying it.” Ali pushed her lips together and glared at Emily.

“Oh, believe me, I know.” Joyce nodded.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out an electronic ear thermometer. She pulled out a sterile disposable slip and put it over the probe. She put the device in Emily’s ear. It beeped after a few seconds.

“Hmm.” She frowned at the numbers reflected on the screen. “Your temp is a little elevated.”

“Told you,” Ali said with a frown.

“You haven’t been moving around too much, have you?” Joyce tossed the disposable slip in the trash and then put the cover back on the thermometer.

Before Emily could answer her, Ali piped in,

“She woke up disoriented after a nightmare. She was thrashing around a lot.”

“How much kicking are we talking about?” Joyce asked.

“I’m just going to let her answer for me, because she’s going to do it anyway.” Emily jutted her thumb out and motioned to Ali.

“It was just a few minutes. I did my best to keep her still.”

“Some patients have a rough time coming out of anesthesia. It’s not entirely uncommon for some people to be agitated.” Joyce picked up the iPad with Emily’s digital chart on it. She scrolled through some notes. “It was probably just a reaction to one of the sedatives.”

Emily looked at Ali with an expression that said ‘ _I told you so’_. Ali was unwavering in her silent retort of _‘do I look like I care?’_

“I’ll let the doctor know about this. He’ll probably want to use a different anesthetic next time.”

Ali felt her heart speed up at the mention of Emily being sedated again. Joyce took note of Emily’s blood pressure and finished up her assessment and then typed a few things into Emily’s chart. She walked over beside Emily’s bed and grabbed a remote out of a slot near the head of the bed. The remote was attached to a wire. She held the remote up in front of Emily.

“This, my dear, is a magical button that summons me.” She put it in Emily’s hand. “Use it.” She paused and then faced Ali. “And if she won’t, then I’m giving you permission to use it.” She smiled. “I’m going to go let the doctor know you’re awake.” She pat Emily on the shoulder and walked out of the room.

“I like her.” Ali smirked.

“Of course you do. She’s telling me what to do.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Well _someone_ has to. Do you not get that you’re laid up in a hospital right now?”

“No, that’s pretty self-evident.”

The doctor came in to do his exam a few minutes later and Emily finally got the full explanation as to why Ali and Joyce seemed so gloomy. He talked to her about the damage the wreck had done to her heart. He talked to her about his recommendations for surgery. And then he dropped the bombshell that her odds of survival were even lower because of her injuries. Emily barely reacted when the doctor told her the news. She’d known something was wrong. She’d seen it in Ali’s eyes. She’d seen it on Joyce’s face. She’d felt it in her body.

Ali watched her with careful eyes, uncertain if Emily’s stoicism was shock or something else. She couldn’t tell if Emily had been anticipating the news or if she was just being Emily and forcing it all down inside of herself. The girl internalized more than anyone Ali had ever known. She was stubborn down to her core.

The doctor told Emily that he was carefully monitoring her blood pressure, but that he felt confident that it was stabilizing enough for her to have surgery tomorrow. Emily looked at Ali, no words spoken between them. They both understood that this was Emily’s only shot. After a moment of silence in which the only sound in the room were the machines monitoring Emily’s vitals, Emily nodded and told the doctor she wanted to go ahead with the surgery. He left to grab some paperwork and to put her on the schedule for the following afternoon.

Ali expected some kind of reaction out of her after the doctor left, but Emily was as calm as ever. She faced Ali, a passive expression on her face.

“Get the girls.”

“But the doctor said that too much stimulation…”

“They’re family.” Emily interrupted her. “I want them here.” She sighed, finally a hint of emotion on her face. “Besides, I know them. I know they haven’t moved from the waiting room since they got here. And they won’t leave until they see me. Spencer’s probably so jacked up on caffeine that she’s not going to sleep for weeks after this. Hanna is definitely freaking out and spiraling. And Aria has probably cried herself into dehydration.”

Emily expected Ali to argue for the sake of her health, but Ali seemed to understand how important it was for the girls to be there. For as long as Ali could remember, it had been the five of them. They had gotten to know each other very well. So well that Emily was spot on in her assessment of how the girls were doing. Ali couldn’t help but smile at Emily’s perfect analysis of the situation.

“I’ll go get them.” Ali put her hand on Emily’s arm. “Do you want me to call your mom?”

Emily flinched. Her mother had seemed so hopeful that they had time to figure this out. It was a combination of desperation, denial, and trying to hold on to control. Her mother didn’t like feeling out of control. Knowing her mom, she’d probably texted her a few times today and left her a message checking in on her. Emily knew she was worried.

“Calling her is bound to push her over the edge. I don’t want her emotional behind the wheel of a car. She’ll be back tomorrow morning. I’d like it if someone went to get her then.”

“Done.” Ali was making mental plans to make sure Emily had everything she needed.

“But text her. Tell her I lost my phone. She doesn’t like it when she can’t get in touch with me.”

“I just need her number and I’ll do it.”

Emily gave Ali her mother’s number and Ali stepped out of the room to text her and go get the girls. As soon as Ali walked out Emily closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. She stared at the ceiling, her mind a swirling circus of thoughts. She concentrated on the imperfections in the trim of the ceiling tiles above her as she considered the complexities of life and death. She’d thought a lot about her own mortality, but she never thought she’d be coming face to face with it so soon. Even with her heart problems, she thought she had more time. And there was a fifteen percent chance that was true. But it was that other eighty-five percent that was nagging her. She felt weird. Not angry. Not sad. Not scared. Just weird. Thinking you were going to die and knowing it were two different things.

The sounds of hurried footsteps pulled her away from the thoughts in her head. She used the controller for the bed to tilt it up until her head was at a 45 degree angle. Seconds later, her friends walked in the room. Spencer was the first one next to her bed, her normally expressive eyes dull with grief. Emily could tell she’d been crying. Hanna and Aria were right behind her, both of their cheeks red and puffy. Seeing how hurt they were was worse than any physical pain she’d ever felt. Ali came into the room last, stopping at the door to peer down the hallway. She’d had to sneak the girls in since the doctor was being so strict about visitors. She closed the door and turned around. For a split second, Emily felt like they were back in high school and they were sneaking around doing some silly sleepover antics, trying not to get caught by their parents.

“We’ve got to make this quick,” Ali said quietly. “I think the orderly saw us come in here…and she looks like the kind to rat us out. Toby is being lookout for us.”

The girls stared at her, no one knowing what to say. Usually in this kind of situation they’d fall back on Emily’s guidance. She was usually the pillar of strength, the one to offer the sage advice.

“You’d think after all these years I’d be used to people staring at me.” Emily finally broke the tension.

Hanna heaved out a breath and put her hand on top of Emily’s.

“I don’t know whether to hug you or slap you.” Hanna squeezed her hand.

“Why is it always violence with you?” Aria laughed softly.

“It’s how she shows love.” Spencer grinned at Hanna.

“Oh, whatever. I’m not the one who almost choked out Mona in high school over a nerdy debate thing.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

Emily smiled. This was normal. She liked normal. Everyone needed a dose of normalcy at the moment. They traded quips for a few minutes, everyone tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. Emily kept an eye on Ali, who was quietly watching the exchange. She had a soft look on her face, her sad tight smile hiding her misery. Emily shot her an affectionate glance. There was a silent understanding between the two of them: they all needed this moment.

“Aria made a bunch of origami out of the STD brochures in the lobby.” Hanna interrupted Emily’s train of thought. “Orgasmi.” She snorted.

Emily chuckled, doing her best not to let her friends see that she could feel the pressure of the internal bruising when her chest moved.

“They probably put those things out for the staff. I bet half of the people working here have given one another syphilis.” Spencer added. “The things they do behind that closed on-call room door…”

“Spence, be nice. These people could kill you and make it look like natural causes.” Emily smiled.

“Huh. We could use some of that. Do you think we could convince them to team up with us to take down _A_?” Aria mulled it over.

“If you do assemble a team make sure you recruit my old nurse Ida. That woman has some serious repressed anger, and I saw her basically bench-press a 300 pound man when he got unruly.” Emily suggested. “It’s too bad I didn’t have her with me after the wreck. She probably could have just sat on _A_ until the cops got there.”

“I still can’t believe you went toe to toe with _A_. You’re either really brave or really stupid.” Hanna pinched her mouth together in annoyance.

“Both.” Ali finally interjected herself into the conversation. “And I’ve already lectured her.”

“I just kind of acted on impulse. I wasn’t really thinking,” Emily admitted.

“Toby says you were pretty badass,” Spencer said.

“ _A_ still got away.” Emily shook her head with a sigh.

“Hey, we’ll get the bastard.” Spencer assured her. “We’re going to check out two locations where the texts are originating from tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds like a plan. What time do we leave?” Emily joked.

The room echoed with laughter, something that was sorely needed for all of them. Spencer quickly briefed Emily on what was going on with the investigation and what their plan was to track down _A_ and put an end to it all. She had just finished telling Emily everything when the door creaked open. Toby popped his head in.

“Hey, it’s about time to wrap this up. You’ve got a bogey on your tail.”

“Can you just talk like a normal person, please?” Hanna furrowed her brows at him.

“The doctor is heading this way. You may want to amscray before visiting privileges are completely revoked,” Toby said.

“Got it.” Aria nodded.

“I’ll see if I can distract him.” Ali slipped out the door.

“What time is the uh…” Hanna glanced at Emily’s heart monitor, stumbling over her words, “big…event tomorrow?”

“It’s surgery, Hanna. Not a rehearsal dinner.” Aria rolled her eyes.

“They have me down in the afternoon around three.”

“Perfect. That gives us plenty of time to wrap up _A_ in a nice neat little noose and deliver the bitch to the great beyond and then come back bearing presents for you.” Spencer smiled.

“We’ll be here, Em.” Aria put her hand on Emily’s shoulder.

Emily smiled weakly at her friends, each of their eyes awash with a whirlwind of emotions, heart-clenching words that couldn’t possibly be spoken. And yet, three words covered what they were all thinking.

“We love you,” Hanna said, giving Emily’s hand one more squeeze before she pulled her hand away.

“I love you guys, too.”

Aria and Hanna headed for the door. Spencer lingered by Emily’s bed for a few seconds before she followed.

“Spence…” Emily said quietly. She reached out and gently took her arm. She watched as Hanna and Aria followed Toby through the doorway. Her gaze lingered on the empty door for a moment and then she looked up at Spencer. “Be careful tomorrow. Look out for each other.”

Her words carried more weight than normal and Spencer picked up on it immediately. She knew that Emily was asking for more than just one day of being there for each other. She knew that Emily was trying to tell her to take care of Aria, Ali, and Hanna in a way that only Spencer could.

“Always.” Spencer nodded. She pat Emily’s hand. “Hey, you got this, Em.”

“Spencer ‘hope breeds eternal misery’ Hastings is betting on that dirty four letter h-word?” Emily pulled back in shock.

“No,” she said. “I’m betting on you.” She cleared her throat, trying not to cry. “So you better pull through or I’ll never believe in anything again…and I’ll be _really_ pissed at you.”

“Pressure’s on.” Emily smiled.

Spencer gave her a look of encouragement before she left. A few seconds later Ali walked back in. She’d successfully distracted the doctor so the others could sneak away without getting reprimanded. Operation High School Slumber Party had been a success. Ali pulled the chair back up next to the bed and took her place next to Emily, their hands automatically reaching out to find one another at the exact same moment. They looked at one another, both of them searching for something to say, but in the end they knew that everything that could have been said had already been said.

The doctor came in to check on Emily and go over the procedure again, making sure Emily understood everything. She heard Ali choke back a quiet whimper when the doctor brought up the topic of whether or not Emily wanted to sign a DNR waiver. Emily’s thoughts started crashing around in her head. She never in a million years would have thought that at twenty-three years old she’d be having a conversation about life or death with her doctor. It was only then that the full reality of the situation started to sink in. She’d known things were bad. She’d known her chances were slight. But hearing the physician discussing the possibility that she might not wake up really hit home for her. She was quiet after the doctor left the room. Ali could see she was struggling.

“Em?” She gently tugged on her hand to get her attention. “You okay?”

“I don’t want to be here.” Emily sighed. “I hate this.”

Hearing Emily say that broke something inside of Ali. If there was one thing Ali couldn’t stand, it was Emily’s pain. She could handle anything else life threw at her, but not Emily’s suffering. If she could give Emily her heart, she would.

“I know,” Ali said softly. “I wish…” She felt her throat tightening and her nose burning, “I wish I knew how to fix this. I would do anything in the world to fix this.” Ali lowered her head, holding in her tears. Emily could tell that she was exhausted. “But I can’t do anything, and it’s killing me.” She looked up from the floor and into Emily’s eyes. “It’s killing me…because you saved me from myself all those years ago. I was drowning and you saved me. And I…I can’t save you. I am so sorry.” Ali had never felt so helpless in her entire life. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Emily. I should have told you that. I should have told you that the day I met you.”

“You didn’t have to tell me.” Emily squeezed her hand. “I knew. You looked at me, and I knew.”

Ali hadn’t been outright about her love for Emily when they were younger, but Emily felt it down in her soul. She knew that she and Ali belonged together. And she knew Ali felt it, too. Emily could see it in the way Ali looked at her. Ali had always been softer around her. She let her guard down around her. She’d always reached out to Emily when she was hurting or afraid. She cared for Emily in a way she had never cared for anyone else. They just fit.

“God, we’re some pair, aren’t we?” Ali rubbed her fingers underneath her eyes. “A heart patient and a murder suspect. _Prison HeartBreak._ ” She laughed darkly.

“We all know you didn’t kill anyone,” Emily said.

“Tell that to Tanner. Unless we catch _A_ she’s got no other suspects and nothing but time on her hands.”

Something dawned on Emily.

“What if we give her another suspect?” Emily asked.

“Who?” Ali asked curiously.

“Me,” Emily said. “I could confess. She already suspects I’m involved anyway.”

“Excuse me?” Ali questioned. “Are you high?”

Emily lifted her hand, palm flat, fingers extended, and motioned it from side to side saying _so-so._

“Emily, you are not going to dive in front of this bullet for me.” She shook her head vigorously. “You aren’t even capable of _walking_ in front of a bullet right now. And after the surgery, if you…” Ali caught herself, “… _when_ you survive, you’d get hauled off to jail and punished for something you didn’t do. I know how that feels and I will _not_ let that happen to you.”

“It might be our only shot.”

“So, you’re just throwing in the towel then?” Ali snapped, more out of fear than anger. “What happened to hope?”

“Ali, I’ll fight for you. You know I will. But this could be an out for you if I don’t…”

“Don’t even think it, Emily.” Ali cut her off. “The second you start thinking you’re not going to come out of this you’re giving up. And I won’t let you do that.”

Emily could tell that Ali was on the verge of losing it again, so she quickly backed down. The day’s events started to take its toll on both of them. For a while, Emily fought her exhaustion. Ali could tell she was struggling against her fatigue.

“Em, you need to rest.” She finally couldn’t take seeing Emily overexert herself any longer. She leaned forward, gently pushing her hair away from her face.

“What about you? That chair can’t be comfortable.” Emily frowned. “You don’t have to wait here with me all night, you know.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you here alone.” Ali caressed Emily’s cheek. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Despite Emily’s fatigue, it was Ali who fell asleep first. Emily rolled on to her side, trying to distribute her weight on her shoulder and her hip. She curled her arm across her side and pressed it against the discomfort she felt in her ribs. The doctor had advised her to try and stay on her back, but she couldn’t stand to look at the ceiling anymore. She wanted a better view. She rested her cheek against her pillow as she watched Ali sleep.

She kept replaying the day in her head. It all seemed so surreal to her. She’d barely had time to process the fact that she might actually die. A million things were running through her mind. She felt a strange sensation bubbling inside her chest. But it wasn’t due to any of her injuries or her heart problems. It was every thought and feeling she’d buried up until now. It was the walls she’d put up that she’d never intended to let down. It was every fear, every instance of grief, and every heartbreak. It rolled over her like a tidal wave, and she was helpless to stop it.

Ali pulled herself back into consciousness when she heard Emily heave out a heavy breath. Her eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the dim light in the room. She saw that Emily’s eyes were open, but they were fixed, staring blankly at the wall. Ali reached out to touch her arm. Emily barely responded. She blinked, keeping her gaze on the wall, deep in a trance like one Ali had never seen before. She’d seen Emily disappear within herself before, but this seemed different.

“Hey, do you need anything?” Ali asked quietly.

Emily still didn’t reply. Ali bit her lip, worried, unsure of how to proceed. She wasn’t sure if she needed to let Emily have her space or if she needed to comfort her. After a few seconds of deliberation, she carefully moved out of the chair and towards the bed. There was enough space on the edge for her to squeeze in next to Emily. She slid in next to her, being extremely mindful not to hurt her. She was so close to the edge she was nearly hanging off. She inched towards Emily, giving Emily time to pull away if she needed her space. But Emily didn’t move. Ali put her hand against the side of Emily’s head, her fingers tickling her soft hair. The motions of her fingers seemed to bring an awareness to Emily.

Emily finally looked at her. She didn’t say a word. She just scooted closer to Ali. She moved the hand she had against her pained ribs to Ali’s side. Ali kissed her forehead, her nose lingering against Emily’s brow for several seconds before she pulled back. Emily peered into Ali’s eyes. At first her expression was distant and aimless. But then she blinked, and for a fraction of a second, Emily’s walls came down and Ali could see the pain haunting her, a deep sorrow she’d never seen before. Emily blinked again and a tear started rolling down her cheek. Ali quickly caught it with her thumb. Several more tears followed.

Ali delicately put her hand on Emily’s face and pressed her lips against Emily’s lips, hoping that she could take away her pain at least for a moment. Emily kissed back briefly, her oxygen line tickling the sensitive skin above Ali’s lips. After Ali pulled away she slid up the bed a few inches. Emily followed her motions, slightly rolling back to let Ali slide in closer to her body. Ali put her arm over the top of Emily’s head, her elbow bending and her hand curling against Emily’s shoulder. Emily leaned up against her, her cheek resting on Ali’s chest. They held each other, neither saying a word as the night wore on. Emily started drifting in and out of consciousness, her exhaustion finally getting the better of her. Ali had almost drifted off to sleep when she heard Emily call out her name.

“Ali?”

“Hmm?” Ali muttered, half-asleep.

There was a pause, the beeping of the machines was the only noise in the room. Then Emily sighed.

“I don’t want to die.”

Ali squeezed her eyes shut and the corners of her mouth twisted down into an anguished grimace. She huffed out a quiet cry as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. She felt a pain greater than she’d ever felt before. Her heart was aching. For Emily. For herself. For their friends. For Pam. For a world that might not know Emily Fields.

“You’re not going to die, Emily.” She forced herself to say. She wanted to believe it. “The world wouldn’t be that cruel.”

But Emily had already drifted back to sleep. Ali stayed up a little while longer. She kept waiting for one of the nurses to walk in and shoo her out of the bed. Eventually, she fell asleep. What neither of them knew is that the night nurse did come in, and rather than pull them apart she let them be.

Ali woke up around seven the next morning. Her phone was vibrating against the chair next to the bed. She slid out of Emily’s bed, surprised that the two of them had actually been able to sleep in it all night long without one of them falling out. Ali saw that it was Hanna calling. Emily stirred and looked up at her, groggy.

“Hey, go back to sleep.” Ali kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right back.” She whispered as she reached for her phone.

She walked out of Emily’s room so she wouldn’t disturb her.

“7 AM, Hanna? Really?” Ali grumbled as she answered the call.

Hanna said something in response, but she was cutting in and out. The reception was horrible.

“Hang on, the reception here is crap.” Ali walked down the hallway and out into the waiting room. She saw Toby in the lobby sleeping in a chair. “Hanna? Are you there?”

“Hey, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, that’s a little better.” Ali walked out the front door into the crisp morning air. “What’s with the early wake up call?”

“I’m getting ready to swing by Aria’s. We were talking about coming by the hospital before we head out to meet the guys. I’m picking up breakfast and I wanted to know if you wanted anything.”

Ali was no longer annoyed. She was actually kind of hungry. She could smell the coffee from the café across the street and suddenly she was craving java and biscotti. She knew that she wouldn’t be leaving the hospital any time soon, and she certainly didn’t want to eat the cafeteria food. She took Hanna up on her offer, ordering like she was at a drive-thru. She thanked Hanna and then headed back into the hospital. She’d gotten to the front door when she heard someone call her name from behind her. She turned around and saw Lorenzo walking towards her, Officer Maple right behind him.

“Ali, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to come with us,” Lorenzo said, his face tight and rigid, very professional.

“Uh…” Ali was caught off-guard. Her eyes flickered to the hospital. “I can’t right now.”

There was no way in hell she was leaving Emily.

“It’s not your decision to make.” Lorenzo put his hand on Ali’s arm. His grip was firm, but not excessive. But he was very much in “cop” mode. “I have to take you in to the station. Tanner’s orders.”

“But…”

“Come on, please don’t make me cuff you,” he said with a frown on his face.

He confiscated her phone and walked her away from the hospital. Before Ali knew what was happening, she was being loaded into the back of Lorenzo’s cruiser watching the hospital disappear in the rearview mirror. She started to panic when she could no longer see the building. An overwhelming sense of dread seized her. Because what if she’d just seen Emily for the last time?


	31. Time's Up

By the time Ali got to the police station she was frantic. She’d worked herself into a complete frenzy. Being away from Emily, especially now, today of all days, terrified her. She tried to pull away from Lorenzo as he was walking her into the precinct. Any other cop probably would have turned into a raging asshole dealing with her abstinent nature, but Lorenzo knew Ali, and he knew her temperament. He knew that if he gave her pushback she’d just become more belligerent. Of course, that was probably going to happen anyway.

“Lorenzo, please…I have to go back. Please take me back,” Ali begged, tears stinging her eyes. Tears of anguish, tears of rage, tears of frustration…they were all the same now.

“I can’t, Ali. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t understand.” Ali tried not to yell and scream and cuss like she wanted to, because she knew the only thing screaming would get her was a pair of cuffs slapped on her wrists. “I promised her I’d be there. She’s going to wake up and I’m not going to be there and she’s…she could die, and I…” She swallowed hard, “…please don’t keep me away from her.”

“My hands are tied on this one,” he replied sadly.

He seemed to understand the gravity of the situation, which just infuriated Ali, because how could _anyone_ in good conscience do what Lorenzo was doing? What Tanner was doing? How could they keep her from Emily? She hadn’t even gotten a chance to go back in and tell her what was going on. She hadn’t gotten the chance to kiss her and tell her she loved her.

“Tell them…tell them I struggled. That I tricked you…that I hit you… _anything_. Just let me get away. I don’t care if they come for me later. Just not today. Not now. Just let me go.”

“I could lose my job.” He shook his head.

“Screw your job!” She spit back angrily. “I could lose Emily! You know, you remember Emily? The girl who came to visit you in the hospital with a ‘get-well’ basket after you broke your shoulder in the line of duty? The girl who watched your cat for you while you were out of town taking care of your ailing mother? The girl whose mother brings care packages to the precinct every month?”

“Look, this has nothing to do with Emily.” Lorenzo pulled her towards the door. “I took an oath when I put this badge on, and that means something to me.”

“I used to think you were one of the good ones.” Ali glared at him. “But what kind of a heartless jackass pulls someone away from her hospitalized girlfriend like this?”

“I’m just doing what I’m told.” Lorenzo sighed.

He seemed to have mixed feelings of sympathy and remorse, but that didn’t help Ali get back to Emily. Ali felt a flash of rage heat up her face.

“You know who else was just ‘following orders’? The Nazis.” She snapped.

Lorenzo stopped moving, and for a second Ali thought he was going to let her go…let her bolt and get back to the hospital. But instead he just shook his head with a frown.

“Ease up, okay? You can’t say stuff like that in there. You’ve got to chill before you talk to Tanner.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that? You just yanked me away from the person I love the most in the world when she needed me the most.” She sneered. She was angrier than she’d ever been in her entire life. “If something happens and I’m not there I swear to God I’ll unleash holy hell on every single one of you.” Her jaw was clenched so tight that her teeth were starting to hurt.

“Seriously, Alison, don’t say crap like that. Tanner has something on you, okay?” He warned her.

And suddenly, Ali had something else besides Emily to worry about.

“What?” She nearly tripped over her feet. “What do you mean?”

“That’s all I can say.” He pulled the door open and guided her inside. He led her towards the restricted area of the building that she was more familiar with than she’d ever care to admit. “I would advise you to keep your mouth shut,” he said quietly.

“Why? Lorenzo, what does she have on me?”

Lorenzo opened the door to a small room and directed her to sit down in front of a table. She started to have flashbacks to the interrogation rooms she’d been subjected to when she’d been arrested for Mona’s murder. It sent a chill down her spine.

“Tanner will be in to talk to you in a little while.”

She didn’t have a little while. Every minute she was stuck here was a minute she’d never get back with Emily. Before she could object, Lorenzo was shutting the door, leaving her to stew in her anxiety.

As much as she knew she should, she couldn’t settle down and sit there patiently. She paced around the room, obsessively thinking about Emily. Her only consolation was the fact that she knew that Hanna and the girls were on their way to the hospital. Once they realized she wasn’t there they would figure things out. They would get her back to Emily.

She looked down at her watch and cried out in aggravation. She’d been pacing for almost twenty minutes. Where the hell was Tanner? Why was she making her wait? What was so important that they had to rip her away from her girlfriend when they knew what kind of shape she was in? She was beyond angry. She felt a burst of frustration pushing its way to the surface.

“You can’t keep me in here!” Ali cried, not sure if anyone could hear her, or if anyone cared. “You can’t just leave me here!” She whipped around and kicked a chair over and cried out again. She stared at the chair on the ground. She dipped her head down and let out a whimper. “She’s in pain, and she’s scared.” Emily hadn’t had to say it out loud. Ali could just tell. She had never seen her girl in such agony before, and it absolutely tore her to shreds. “She needs me,” her voice was softer now.

She knew she shouldn’t have been getting so emotional, especially given that Tanner was probably watching her through some two-way mirror, but she couldn’t separate her emotions from her logic anymore. She didn’t have Emily to talk her down. She was slowly falling back into old habits. She looked down at the chair on the ground, and for a second she considered picking it up and hurling it at the wall, solely because it would feel good to get some of her anger out. She had basically gone Chuck Norris on the House of Baby Jesus yesterday. She had no problem becoming a tornado of destruction to this police precinct.

Before she could act on her impulses the door swung open. She spun around, a maniacal rage in her eyes, ready to lay in to Tanner for doing this to her and Emily. She was surprised to see Spencer being led into the room by a uniformed officer. He shut the door after Spencer walked in.

“Spencer?” Ali blinked in surprise.

“Ali?” Spencer had a look of disbelief on her face. Her jaw dropped. “They brought you in?” Her face reddened in anger. “They pulled you out of the hospital and brought you here?” She ground her teeth together. “What’s next? Reading Emily her rights while she’s being led into surgery? What the hell is Tanner thinking?” She snapped. “I am so going to bring a lawsuit down on their asses for this. They can’t do this.” It was beyond cruel. It was inhumane.

“What’s happening? What’s going on?” Ali asked.

“I don’t know. They pulled me over and grabbed me when I was on my way to Aria’s place. They nabbed Hanna and Aria, too.”

Ali stiffened, her body tight, her stomach doing flips.

“Wait, everyone is here?” Ali’s eyes widened in fear.

She felt her heart beating so fast that she started to get dizzy. The room suddenly seemed darker. She heard a whooshing noise in her ears and it felt like her ear canals were closing up, blocking out every sound in the room around her.

“Oh, God.” The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. “Oh my God. That means Emily is alone.” She looked around the room. She felt like kicking down the door and making a break for it. “I have to get out of here.”

“Ali…”

But Ali couldn’t hear Spencer’s words anymore. The timing wasn’t a coincidence. _A_ had done something. She just knew it. All she could think about was how easy it had been for Sara to go after Emily when she was in the hospital after her cardiac arrest. All she could think about was how much danger Emily was in right now.

“She’s alone. And _A_ is out there.” Ali could barely catch her breath. “Let me out!” She yelled. “You have to let me go!” She ran towards the door, grabbing at the handle. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. She slammed her fists against the door with all of her might.

“Ali!” Spencer exclaimed in alarm. “Ali, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Get me out of here!” Ali spun around and yelled at the glass window across the room, spitting in rage.

Dark circles were closing in on her field of vision. She felt like she was in a tunnel closing in on her. She felt her legs starting to shake. Her knees were giving out. She crumpled to the floor, knees bent, legs flat against the ground, feet splayed out next to her hips. She leaned forward, putting her face into her hands. She thought she was crying, but all that was coming out was breathless gasps. Spencer quickly crawled next to her. She’d never seen Ali fall apart so violently before. She’d seen her lose control, but never like this.

For once in her life, Spencer wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t know what to say or how to help her. She knew how Ali felt. She remembered how it felt when she thought she saw Toby’s body in the woods when she was in high school. But this was so much worse than what Spencer had been subjected to. Because Ali had lost everyone she’d ever cared about. And because what was happening to Emily wasn’t some stupid teenage prank gone awry. What was happening to Emily was more real and more raw than anything any of them had ever faced.

They were all hurting. They were all scared. But no one was more affected by this than Ali. She had been slowly unraveling ever since they’d gotten back into town. They had gone through some major trauma, and as tough as Ali was…as tough as she pretended to be, Spencer knew at her core that she was the most breakable of them all. She acted like she couldn’t be hurt because she needed the world to believe she couldn’t be hurt. But Spencer knew her better than that.

She was terrified of what would happen to Ali if Emily didn’t survive, because the love they had for one another wasn’t something that would ever go away. Love was a powerful thing. It had the ability to mend the soul, to heal the heart. But it also had the ability to destroy the very essence of a person. If Ali lost Emily, she would never be the same. All Spencer could think about was the exchange she’d had with Emily yesterday.

_“Look out for each other.”_

Spencer was overwhelmed with emotions, but nothing like Ali. She could feel Ali’s agony in her bones. She grabbed Ali’s face to get her attention, her fingers pressed against her temples. Ali looked at Spencer, utter panic on her face.

“She’s by herself, Spence,” Ali said, the whites of her eyes huge in fright. “She’s by herself and _A_ knows it.”

“Ali, it’s okay. She’s not alone. Toby is still at the hospital.” He hadn’t left the hospital once, and Spencer knew he wouldn’t leave his post now. “He won’t leave her there alone. And her surgery isn’t until three. We have time to get you out of here and back to the hospital.”

“What if _A_ does something to her…comes back to finish the job? She’s vulnerable.” Ali’s breathing was still heavy.

“Emily is strong.” Spencer tried to calm her down. “She’s the strongest person I know.”

Spencer had seen Emily grow so much throughout the years, and if it’s one thing she knew about Emily it was that she persevered. Spencer had watched her handle everything life threw at her with an inflexible boldness that Spencer envied. Emily was one to get knocked down and then crawl back to her feet and snap, “you hit like a bitch” before throwing a punch back. She hadn’t just been blowing smoke at Emily yesterday when she told her that she was betting on her. Spencer knew she was probably a little bit of a fool for believing in the best case scenario, but she knew that if anyone could beat the odds, it was Emily.

Ali sniffled and pulled out of Spencer’s grasp. She pushed herself back against the wall. She sighed and sucked on her bottom lip, chewing at it until it was bleeding.

“She’s by herself.” Ali repeated slowly and quietly. She drew her gaze up to meet Spencer’s, her eyes brimming with tears. “She can’t die alone,” she shuddered, a defeated look on her face, a look that Spencer felt jostle her heart. “I…I can’t…I won’t let her. I…”

“She’s not going to die.” And Spencer actually believed it when she said it. She had to believe it. She couldn’t face the other alternative.

Ali looked away, unable to meet Spencer’s gaze anymore.

“She’s fading. I can see it in her eyes,” Ali’s chin trembled as she thought about the grief she’d seen in Emily’s eyes last night. “I feel like I’ve already lost her. It’s that day outside the loft all over again. She’s here, but she’s not. I feel like I’m mourning her and she’s not even gone.”

“She’s not gone. She’s still here. She…”

Before Spencer could finish, they were interrupted by a rustling noise outside the door. Both of them leaped to their feet. The door opened and Tanner walked in carrying a briefcase. Spencer looked at Ali, worn and browbeaten, and it stirred an ire within her. She shot daggers at the woman who was keeping Ali away from Emily. Normally, Spencer could compose herself and keep her emotions from interfering with her brazen lawyer tactics, but she’d finally hit her limit.

“How dare you.” Spencer scowled at Tanner.

“Excuse me?” Tanner challenged her with an angry stare of her own.

“Our best friend,” she glanced at Ali and then back at Tanner, “her _girlfriend_ is having heart surgery today and you have the _nerve_ to drag us in here…away from her…for another round of the blame game?”

The revelation seemed to genuinely take Tanner by surprise. She pushed her lips together, a tense look on her face. And for a brief second, Spencer and Ali thought they saw an expression of sympathy on her face. It disappeared quickly and she automatically fell back into her stern police persona.

“I didn’t realize that was the case.”

“Clearly you knew she was at the hospital.” Spencer snapped.

“I just assumed it was related to the wreck.” Tanner walked over to the table. She leaned over and picked up the chair Ali had kicked over, not even batting an eye. She put the briefcase down on the table. “Still, not that it would have made much difference in my course of action.”

Ali felt a heated rage wash over her body. Had Tanner seriously just said that? Even knowing what was going on with Emily she was willing to do this to them? She had to bite her tongue and clench her fists to keep herself from lunging over the table and tackling Tanner to the floor. She glanced at Spencer, who had the same look on her face. They both wanted to strangle the woman. Tanner didn’t miss their angry glares.

“I’m just following protocol, ladies.”

That pissed Ali off.

“You can take your protocols and shove them up your…”

“Miss DiLaurentis, I would advise you to think very carefully about your actions today.” Tanner interrupted her.

Something about her tone unnerved Ali, and all at once she remembered what Lorenzo had said,

_“Tanner has something on you.”_

She clamped her jaw shut and pushed her lips out into a pout before blowing out an annoyed breath through her nose. She felt like an angry bull ready to stampede, and Tanner was the giant red cloth she wanted to rip to shreds.

“What did you do to Hanna and Aria?” Spencer asked.

“I didn’t _do_ anything to them.” Tanner seemed annoyed by the assumption that she had some bigger plan. “Your friends are down the hall being questioned by an associate of mine.”

“You’ve been pinning us up like chickens in a coop and squawking at us since this whole thing started. Why separate us now?” Spencer questioned.

She motioned for the girls to join her at the table. Spencer and Ali begrudgingly walked over and sat down across from her.

“I hope you know that when this is over you’re going to have one hell of a lawsuit coming.” Spencer threatened.

Tanner brushed off the threat and pulled out a stack of papers. She put them down beside the briefcase. She shuffled through them, taking her sweet time. Ali’s foot bounced against the floor. She wanted to scream. She couldn’t take much more of this. Tanner reached into the briefcase and pulled out a clear plastic bag with the word “evidence” written in big bold letters. Inside the bag was a large kitchen knife. She slid the bag over to the girls.

“We found this in the woods where your property lines meet.” Tanner frowned. “Does that look familiar, Miss DiLaurentis?”

Ali curled her fingernails into her palms and pushed her lips together, trying to suppress the scream that was building up in her throat. The knife was from a cutlery set in her kitchen. Looking at it, she recognized the design on the handle. She also recognized the rusty colored substance on the blade, the dried blood. She could tell that Tanner knew exactly where the knife had come from. Ali didn’t say a word. What Tanner said next didn’t surprise either of the girls.

“This was the weapon used to kill Sara Harvey.” Tanner watched both of the girls carefully for their reactions. “The blood was a positive match.” She leaned forward. “Now, we’re still waiting on the fingerprint analysis, but I’ve got a pretty good guess as to what the results are going to tell us.” She frowned. “I gave you girls a chance to tell me your side of the story. I understand what you’ve been through. But if any of your fingerprints are on this knife, I can’t help you.”

“You call what you’ve been doing help?” Ali scoffed. “My girlfriend almost died yesterday. She is lying in a hospital bed right now, and I’m not with her.”

“I understand your frustration…”

“I don’t think you do,” Ali said, a quiet distress hidden underneath her rage.

“Alison,” Tanner said, dropping the formalities. She leaned forward. “We have proof that you and Charlotte were fighting the night she was killed. We have surveillance footage proving that you were at _The Radley_ the night of the murder. We have proof that Sara and Charlotte were friends. We know you had a… _heated_ history with Sara. We have video evidence that looks very damning that your car was at the scene where Sara was killed. And we have a knife I’m assuming is from your house with Sara’s blood on it that was found on the property line between your house and the Hastings property.” She glanced at Spencer and then back at Ali. “Unless you can give me a _really_ good explanation for all of this, I have no choice but to arrest you.”

Ali looked at Spencer, her plan written all over her face, her eyes flickering with a look that Spencer recognized. Spencer had been dead set against telling Tanner about _A,_ and up until now Ali had respected that. But with Emily’s life on the line there was nothing Ali wouldn’t say or do to get back to her. Before she told Tanner everything, she wanted Spencer to know her intentions. She wasn’t looking for Spencer’s permission, but she got it all the same. Spencer nodded. They had nothing else left to lose.

“Someone has been torturing us,” Ali said as she turned back to face Tanner.

“Who?” Tanner’s curiosity was piqued.

“ _A_.”

Tanner didn’t say anything at first. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the two of them in thought, her lips in a tight frown.

“From what I understand, your sister was the one responsible for all of that. That case was closed years ago.”

“Well someone took it upon themselves to open it back up after Charlotte was killed,” Ali replied in a huffy tone. “This _A_ wants revenge for what happened to her. Whoever it is thinks we know who killed her…”

“And why would they think that?” Tanner asked incredulously.

“I don’t know.” Ali answered through her teeth, trying very hard not to explode. “But whoever this is put Emily in the hospital. This person ran her and Toby down with a truck.”

“I’m actually glad you brought that up.” Tanner reached into the briefcase and pulled out a photo. “After I spoke with Officer Cavanaugh about the accident we went to retrieve the dashcam footage from the cruiser. Unfortunately it was destroyed in the accident.”

“Of course it was.” Spencer muttered.

“What we did find was this man passed out in an alley several blocks from the scene.” She slid the photo over to Ali and Spencer. It was a mug shot of an older gruff looking man with wild hair and red-rimmed eyes. Neither one of them recognized him. “He was dressed similarly to how Officer Cavanaugh described him. He had the keys to the truck and had a blood alcohol level way over the limit, which explains why he ran, especially given that he hit a police cruiser.”

Spencer and Ali immediately realized what had happened. _A_ had planted the keys on some wasted drunk. The bitch had thought of everything.

“No.” Ali frowned at the photo. “The person who hit them did way more than just run away. Emily was attacked…”

“Do you have any proof?” Tanner lifted her brows, almost like she felt like Ali was trying to stall.

“She’s in the hospital!” Ali exclaimed shrilly. “What other proof do you need?” She felt like they were going around in circles, and it felt mundane and torturous considering everything else they had going on right now. “Didn’t you listen to _anything_ Toby told you? He saw it. He saw her get pulled out of the car…”

“What he saw was someone trying to get away and your friend trying to stop that person. Officer Cavanaugh had a head injury, so it would be very easy to misinterpret…”

“He didn’t misinterpret anything.” Spencer shoved the photo back at Tanner. “You’ve got the wrong guy. This is just some drunk fall guy. The real criminal is still out there. _A_ is still out there.”

“If this has been going on, then why didn’t you say anything?” Tanner frowned skeptically.

“Our lives were being threatened,” Ali explained. “They are _still_ being threatened.” Emily’s life in particular.

“By who? Who would do that?” Tanner asked.

“I don’t know!” Ali exclaimed, unable to contain her frustration any longer. She was done being rational. Rational was getting her nowhere. “You’re the detective! Detect! Check our phones. Trace the texts we’ve been getting. Do _something_.”

Tanner sat back in her chair, her fingers tapping against the table. Her eyes drifted from the evidence bag with the knife to the photo of the hit and run driver.

“Look, you didn’t believe us before and you remember what happened.” Spencer tried to keep her tone even. “At the very least you owe it to us to listen to what we’re saying to you. Emily could be in danger.”

After a moment, Tanner nodded.

“Alright,” she said. “Alright. I’ll look into it. But I’m going to have to hold you girls until I get this sorted out. I will put in a call to dispatch to send a unit to the hospital to help Officer Cavanaugh keep an eye on Miss Fields.”

“You can’t keep us here.” Spencer argued. She glanced at Ali, her heart aching for her. “At least let her go. She should be with Emily…”

“I will do what I can.” Tanner assured her. “But some of this is out of my hands. Let’s just start with these threats you’ve been getting and go from there.”

Ali and Spencer spilled everything. They told Tanner about the texts, about the video of the dollhouse, about Sara Harvey spying on them, about the deceased Alexander Drake, and about what they’d been dealing with since Charlotte’s death. Tanner jotted down a couple of notes and then she walked out of the room, leaving Ali and Spencer to wonder if she was going to be true to her word. Fortunately, Tanner did take them seriously and she put the call in to dispatch.

Unfortunately, the call was intercepted by the very person who had been responsible for the chaos in their lives. Unbeknownst to them, things had already been set in motion. They had no idea how close _A_ was to destroying the very person they were fighting for.

While Ali sat in a hellish limbo at the police station, Emily had been drifting in and out of consciousness. Every time she opened her eyes she looked around for Ali. She vaguely recalled Ali giving her a kiss on the forehead before walking out of the room on her phone. She’d been in a weird haze, so she wasn’t sure how long it had been since Ali had left. She had tried to stay awake, waiting for her to return, but she was so drowsy that she fell back asleep.

The doctor came in to do his rounds at 8:15. He explained that the surgery schedule had shuffled around a bit and that they’d had to put her in a slot for her procedure at ten. When she got the news, her stomach dropped. She knew that they were going to have to take her in to surgery eventually, but she wanted a few more hours with Ali. She wanted every second she could get with her.

She zoned in and out as the doctor talked to her about the procedure for what felt like the hundredth time. They were going to do a minimally invasive cardiac surgery as opposed to open heart surgery to repair the tear in her heart and then they would proceed with the experimental procedure for her underlying heart condition. The doctor had her sign a few more waivers and then told her the surgery team would be up to get her five to ten minutes before the procedure.

Emily barely heard a word he said. She was too distracted by the fact that Ali still hadn’t come back. She started to get worried when nine rolled around and she hadn’t heard a peep from her.

She glanced at the clock, watching the seconds ticking by. Her eyes followed the second hand around several times, the consistency of the rhythmic motion lulling her into a strange hypnotic state. She thought about what a weird concept time was. It was a construct organized by people to put a name on a series of moments and it only existed because people said it existed. But it would still exist long after they were gone. It was an oxymoron. An oxymoron she wanted more of. As she watched the minutes roll by on the clock she suddenly had a very morbid thought about whether the doctors would be looking at the clock at some point today to call her time of death.

 _Stop it_. She warned herself, trying to shake the idea from her head. She couldn’t go into surgery with that kind of mindset.

She kept telling herself that fifteen percent was still a chance. She tried to ignore the fact that her head was pounding and that her chest felt tight. She did her best to concentrate on the fact that she was still alive after everything she’d been through. She held on to every grain of hope that she could.

She heard someone walking into the room and she looked over, hoping to see Ali’s face. It wasn’t Ali, but it was a friendly face.

“Hey, Joyce. You’re still here?” Emily asked.

She wanted to act surprised, but she wasn’t. Joyce was more than just a nurse to her. She was a friend. She hadn’t been surprised to find out that Joyce had bent over backwards to try and get assigned to her case.

“I should look in to renting a room in this place,” Joyce joked as she walked next to Emily’s bed.

“Did you pull an all-nighter?” Emily hated to think that Joyce was running herself ragged just so that she could be her nurse.

“No, I made the briefest of appearances at my house. Said ‘hey’ to the husband. Even ate a meal with him.” She winked.

She laid her stethoscope against Emily’s chest and listened for a few seconds. Her eyebrows and lips both tightened in concentration. After a minute she pulled the earpieces out of her ears and pulled the stethoscope away from Emily’s chest. She forced a fainthearted smile on to her face. Emily could see the sadness she was trying to hide, her normally cheery disposition juxtaposed by a strange leaden look in her eyes. But she still forced herself to stay positive.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Joyce asked.

“Um,” Emily slowly turned her head, feeling lightheaded, “a little dizzy. But the doctor said that was to be expected.”

“Wow, complete honesty. I’m impressed.” Joyce nodded.

“No point in hiding anything when I’m surrounded by human lie detectors.” Emily smiled half-heartedly.

“If it makes you feel any better you can be pretty convincing when you want to be.” Joyce reached down and put her fingers against Emily’s wrist, checking her pulse. “Have you had any more spikes in your temperature?”

“Not since the one yesterday. Trust me, Ali was on top of that. Her hand was practically glued to my forehead.” Emily couldn’t help but smile thinking about Ali’s touch. She had so many variations of touch, ranging from sensual to comforting to controlling. Her hands emitted everything she was feeling, and Emily loved every single one of her touches. “You haven’t seen my bossy thermometer this morning, have you?”

“No.” Joyce shook her head. “But I just got here.”

Emily pinched her eyebrows together. From an outsider’s perspective it would have looked like she was in pain. But Joyce knew better. Emily was concerned about her girlfriend.

“I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure she’s around. She wouldn’t leave your side today if God himself tried to pull her away.”

Emily suddenly had an image in her head of an almighty being trying to drag Ali away from her and Ali biting the almighty’s arm and whipping around and yelling expletives at him. She chuckled. Not even a powerful deity was a match for Alison DiLaurentis.

“I’m lucky to have her.” Emily smiled.

“What you two have is one for the history books.” Joyce checked Emily’s IV line, making sure there were no kinks anywhere.

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Honey, that girl is completely head-over-heels in love with you. She looks at you like you hung the moon. I don’t even think I look at my husband like that and we’ve been married for twenty years,” she said, a warm expression on her face. “Believe me, what you have is special.”

For the briefest of moments, Emily forgot where she was and lost sight of everything that was happening. Ali meant everything to her, and knowing how much Ali loved her was one of the best feelings in the world. The love they had for each other was so strong that they’d follow one another to the ends of the earth.

It was bittersweet to think about though. They could have been spared so much pain if they didn’t love one another so much. But that was always the chance you took with love. You dove in head first not knowing whether or not you were going to reach the finish line. What happened if they didn’t reach that finish line together?

Emily started to sit up, but Joyce delicately put her hand on her shoulder, shaking her head like a mother telling her child not to touch a hot stove. Emily didn’t fight the motion. She let out a sigh and looked up at Joyce.

“You think she’ll be okay?” Emily asked quietly.

“I think…” she opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it in thought before she continued, “…we should focus on you at the moment.” She glanced away from Emily and picked up her chart. Emily could tell she was trying to dodge the question. “How’s the pain?”

 _The emotional pain or the physical pain?_ She stopped herself from saying it out loud.

“About a four.”

Joyce’s eyes narrowed as she considered Emily’s response. She knew how much Emily minimalized her pain.

“I’m not downplaying it this time.” Emily assured her. “They gave me something this morning that knocked the edge off.”

Joyce scrolled through her chart and then nodded in satisfaction. She typed some notes.

“Can I get you anything?” She looked up from the screen.

“Is Toby still here?” Emily asked.

“You mean your personal bodyguard?” Joyce questioned with a laugh. “Yeah, I saw him in the lobby.”

“Would you mind getting him for me?”

“Not at all,” she replied. “Anything else?”

“A new heart if you’ve got one laying around somewhere.” Emily joked.

“I’ll check the lost and found.” Joyce nodded, going along with the mood. “I’ll be back before they come to prep you for surgery, okay?” She gave Emily a reassuring pat on the arm.

“So, you’re sticking with me, huh?” Emily asked.

“Well, I’ve got to keep Ida away from you, don’t I?” Joyce smiled.

“Not all heroes wear capes.” Emily laughed.

“Oh, we do.” Joyce teased. “They’re just usually in the laundry covered in substances we can’t and don’t want to identify.”

Emily chuckled. As Joyce was walking out, Emily called after her,

“Joyce?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” The simple word carried so much significance.

Joyce nodded. She had a smile on her face, but Emily could see the tears she was holding back. It meant a lot to Emily that Joyce cared so much. After everything Joyce had seen over the years…the emergencies, the traumas, the heartbreak…she still managed to face the world with a smile. The world needed more people like Joyce in it.

After Joyce left Emily felt herself getting drowsy again, but she fought against it. She stared at the vertical peaks going up and down on her heart monitor, trying not to let the steady beeping lull her back to sleep. Every time her eyes started flickering she shook her head to keep herself awake. She glanced up at the clock.

9:10.

They would be coming in to prep her for surgery in a little over half an hour. She felt strangely calm about the whole situation. Too calm. It scared her a bit.

“Hey, Em.” Toby walked into the room.

“Hey.” Emily smiled at her favorite drinking buddy, suddenly feeling more awake than she had all morning.

“Where’s Ali?” He immediately noticed her absence. He knew that nothing could have pulled her away from Emily today.

“Actually, I was going to ask you if you knew where she was.” Emily frowned.

“I thought she was with you.” His brow furrowed in confusion.

“She got a phone call earlier. I thought she just stepped out to take it, but…she hasn’t been back since.”

“How long ago was this?”

“I think it was around seven, but I’m not sure. Everything in my head is kind of jumbled up.” She rubbed her forehead above her right eye.

Toby rolled his lips and moved his jaw from side to side. Something didn’t feel right about this whole situation. Ali wouldn’t have left Emily, and she most certainly wouldn’t have left without telling Toby where she was going or without dragging him to Emily’s bedside to watch after her.

“They…uh…” Emily looked at the clock. She felt nauseated. “They moved up my surgery time.”

“What?” Toby’s eyes widened, but he tried to stay cool for Emily’s sake. “To when?”

“Ten. They’ll be in to take me down at about ten ‘til,” Emily said. “Ali doesn’t know yet.”

“Tell me what you want me to do, Em, and I’ll do it.”

“Find her for me?” Emily suggested. “And call the girls. If I don’t…” she stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish her thought, “…she shouldn’t go through this alone. She’s going to need them.”

Toby tensed up, but he didn’t let Emily see the grief on his face. He tried to stay focused on how he was going to find Ali.

“Did she say anything before she left?” He asked.

“I don’t remember.” Emily tried really hard to recall what had happened when she woke up, but it was all a blur. “I don’t think so.”

“Is there anywhere you can think of she might have gone? Or someone she might have called? Someone she may have reached out to? Anyone she would want to talk to about what she’s going through?”

Emily thought about it. Ali didn’t open up to many people. Emily was the person that Ali usually ran to when she was scared, but this situation was different. She couldn’t talk to Emily about this, because she needed to be there for Emily. There was only one other person Emily knew of that Ali talked to.

“Try Elliott,” Emily said. “She talks to Elliott.”

She’d come a long way from hating Elliott Rollins. Now that she knew that Ali loved her and not him she didn’t harbor the same resentment she’d had towards him when she first met him. Besides, there was no denying that Elliott had done for Ali what Doctor Sullivan had done for her. It took a special kind of person to be able to listen to others – really hear them, and then help them overcome their demons. Just because Emily didn’t want Elliott as her shrink didn’t mean Ali didn’t still lean on him.

“I’m on it.” Toby assured her.

Toby tried calling Ali. When she didn’t answer he tried Spencer. After Spencer didn’t answer he started to get antsy. He quickly did a sweep of the hospital, but didn’t find a trace of Ali anywhere. He checked the parking lot, the bathrooms, the chapel, and everywhere else he could think of. When it became clear that she wasn’t in the building, he did some digging and found Elliott’s number. He thought the call was going to go to voicemail, but Elliott ended up answering right before the recording picked up. Toby explained the situation. Elliott told him that he hadn’t seen or heard from Ali, but that he knew of some places she might be and that he’d check for him. After he hung up with Elliott he tried Ali and Spencer again. Still no answer. He tried Aria, and then Hanna. No answer. He tried Caleb and it went to voicemail.

“Why the hell isn’t anyone picking up their phones?” He muttered as he walked down the hallway.

He dialed Ezra’s number, and surprisingly got through to him. He was relieved at first, but then Ezra asked him if he’d talked to the girls. Toby nearly bit through his tongue when Ezra told him the girls didn’t show up to meet him and Caleb like they’d planned.

“Caleb talked to Hanna around six after he got off the night shift. He came to my place with some supplies. He’s been setting up some tracking equipment. The girls were supposed to be here at eight.”

Toby looked around the hallway for a clock.

“Jesus, it’s already 9:30.” Toby rubbed his fingers through his hair. “Look, Ezra, we have to find them. Emily’s surgery got bumped up to ten and I can’t find Ali anywhere. I called Elliott and he’s checking some of the usual haunts she went to after particularly difficult days with Charlotte, but I’m worried we’re not going to find her in time.”

“I have a hard time believing she’d leave Emily. She’s got to be there somewhere.” Ezra huffed out a breath. Toby could tell that he hadn’t slept just by the somber tone in his voice.

“I’ve looked everywhere. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Okay, um…” The line went silent. Ezra clearly didn’t know what to do either, “…I’m going to grab Caleb and we’ll start driving around…see if we run across her anywhere. Maybe she got spooked and needed some air. She could just be in shock somewhere. Maybe she called the girls and that’s where they are.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Toby muttered, though he didn’t believe that was the case.

“I’ll call you if I find anything out.”

“Thanks. I’ll do the same.”

“Hey, tell Emily I’m thinking about her,” Ezra said.

“I will.” Toby nodded. “And Ezra?”

“Yeah?”

Toby glanced at the clock again.

“Hurry.”

After he hung up he walked back to Emily’s room. She had tipped her bed up a bit and was sitting up. He could see the disappointment on her face when she realized that Ali wasn’t with him. He felt terrible disappointing her.

“No luck?” she sighed.

“I’ll find her, Em.”

“Did you get ahold of the girls?” She looked at him hopefully.

“No. Not yet,” Toby sighed, tapping his palm with his cell phone. “None of them are picking up.”

He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell her. The last thing he wanted to do was give her something else to worry about. Unfortunately, even if he’d wanted to hide it from her, his face had given him away. Emily noticed the conflict in his eyes. She could tell he was hiding something from her.

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

“What look?” He tried to sidestep the question.

She gave him a glare that told him she wasn’t buying his act. He blew out a breath and frowned. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to lie to her.

“Toby, I know you’re hiding something. Did you forget I can wipe the floor with you at poker? Don’t try to bluff me.” Emily didn’t like the troubled look he was sporting.

“I got ahold of Ezra.” His face tightened. “The girls haven’t met up with him and Caleb yet.”

“What?” Emily asked in alarm.

She started fidgeting with her hands. Ali was gone. The girls were missing. Every possible worst case scenario was running through her head. Her pulse started to increase. The machines monitoring her started beeping loudly and angrily.

“What if it’s _A_? What if _A_ got them?”

“Emily, stop stressing yourself out. You can’t handle that at this point in the game.” His eyes darted to the machines and then back to Emily. “I’m sure they’re fine.”

“We don’t know that. What if they’re not? What if…”

“I’m handling it, okay? You’ve got to trust me.” He was trying not to panic. He was trying to stay calm so she would stay calm. “You have enough to worry about. Let me take care of it. You just focus on kicking this heart thing in the ass.”

“Toby…”

“Don’t make me sic Joyce on you.” He interrupted her. “Because I’ll do it.” He put his phone down on the table next to her bed. “Look, they probably just lost track of time. Everyone has a lot on their minds right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just overslept.”

“You really think it’s something that simple?” she asked him skeptically.

“When you hear hoof beats think horses, not zebras,” he sat down on the edge of her bed.

“You’re doing that weird philosophy proverb stuff again,” Emily said with a crooked smile.

Leave it to Toby Cavanaugh to distract her with riddles on her deathbed.

“It just means that the simplest explanation is usually the right one,” he said.

“Whatever you say, Toby-wan-Kenobi.”

“Spencer told you to call me that, didn’t she?” He turned his nose up at the name. Spencer had taken to calling him that a few years ago. He thought it was the dorkiest thing.

Emily smiled, but didn’t rat Spencer out.

“You’re not just making up things that you think will calm me down, are you?” She arched an eyebrow at him.

“Who? Me?” He feigned a look of shock. “I would never!”

“Your poker face still sucks, you know.”

“Thanks. I love you, too, Em.” He rolled his eyes.

Emily sighed and looked at the clock again.

9:35.

The clock was winding down. Every nerve ending in Emily’s body felt like it was on overdrive. She had a ridiculous amount of nervous energy. Her thoughts were running rampant, and she felt a strange compulsion to try and organize them. Emily drew in an anxious breath.

“Did anyone talk to my mom?” she asked.

She was mentally kicking herself. How had she not thought of her mom until now? When had the time started zipping by so fast?

“I had planned on swinging by your house this morning. Ali told me last night that you didn’t want her driving while she was upset. I told Ali I’d go get her today. I just assumed we’d have plenty of time to get her here before the surgery. But with Ali gone…I’m not leaving you.” He shook his head. “I can call someone to go pick her up and bring her here.”

“I’d rather the news not come from a stranger,” Emily sighed, her eyes starting to burn with tears.

She wasn’t sure what to do. What if she got taken in to surgery before she could talk to her mom…tell her she loved her? Tell her goodbye? This was happening too fast. Emily just wanted it to stop.

“What do you want me to do?” Toby asked, the patience in his voice reminding Emily of why she loved him so much.

“I don’t – I don’t know.” She thought about it for a moment. Her eyes darted towards Toby’s phone. “Can I use your phone?”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded and handed her his cell phone. “You want some privacy?”

“You can stay.” She shook her head.

She dialed her mother’s number. It rang for a minute and then went to voicemail. Emily felt a deep aching pain in her stomach.

“Mom, hey…” She trailed off. What was the protocol here? This wasn’t something she could just leave in a message, “…I still haven’t found my phone. This is Toby’s cell. I just called to tell you…I just…I wanted to let you know…” She chewed on her lip, biting back a whimper. “Uh, when you get this just call this number. I…I love you.” She hung up the phone and put it back down on the table.

She was starting to regret not contacting her mom sooner. But she couldn’t have known that things would change this much this fast. Now, all she could think about was the fact that if she didn’t make it her mother would never forgive herself for missing that call.

Toby rubbed his hand across her arm. Emily tried to put on a brave face. The fact that he had managed to stay so calm about all this amazed Emily. She didn’t doubt that he was breaking down on the inside, but he was still managing to keep it together. And she knew it wasn’t just for her. Toby took it upon himself to make sure all of the girls were safe and taken care of. He went way beyond “to protect and serve” when it came to them.

“Look, Toby…if something happens to me I want you to promise me something.” Emily felt a knot forming in her throat.

“Nothing is going to happen to you.”

“Indulge me,” she said with a shrug. “I need you to take care of them for me.”

“Emily…” For the first time, she heard his voice break.

“You’re the only one I trust to do this. Spencer will do what she can, but I don’t want her burying her own grief and getting so lost that she can’t find her way out of her misery. Because we both know she will put her own feelings aside to make sure the girls are taken care of. Someone needs to look out for her, too. She’s going to need you. They’re all going to need you. Don’t let them fall apart.”

“You’re going to be fine.” He cleared his throat, trying to control his emotions.

“There’s an eighty-five percent chance that I’m never going to see any of you again.” It came out a lot more matter-of-fact than she’d meant for it to. It almost startled her how resigned she was to it. “Please just…put my mind at ease.”

Toby opened his mouth to reply, but he was at a loss for words. Instead he grunted out a guttural noise and nodded.

“My mom and Ali are both going to be at a loss. They are going to need a lot of support. My mom will hold it in until she makes herself sick.” She remembered the way her mother had sobbed behind closed doors after her dad died. Pam Fields did not like anyone seeing her weaknesses, so she put on a strong front…until she was alone. And her mother being _truly_ alone is something that Emily worried about. “She’ll bury it in trying to take care of everyone around her so she doesn’t have to face it…”

“So that’s where you get it from.” Toby smiled sadly.

“We are the best and the worst of our parents.” Emily shook her head with a soft laugh.

Emily really had inherited a lot more from her mom and dad than she’d ever realized. The older she got the more she recognized it. In a way, she’d reacted a lot like her mother had after her father passed away. She’d walked around aimlessly, carrying herself with a strong, yet empty, expression on her face. She’d basically been a living ghost...until she was alone. That’s when she fell apart. Everyone felt the pain of loss in the same way. But everyone grieved differently.

“Ali, she…” Emily tried not to get emotional. “Ali will try to push everyone away.” Because that’s what Ali did. “Don’t let her. And please, _please_ don’t let her blame herself for not being here, because she will. She will spiral and self-destruct. And I can’t let that happen to her. I know you and Ali have had your problems, but I have to know that someone is looking out for her. I know the girls will be there for her, but they won’t stay in Rosewood forever. And I know I’m asking a lot here…”

“Consider it done. I’ll take care of her, Em,” he quickly assured her.

He could see how hard it was for her to talk about this. He was still banking on that fifteen percent chance, but he wanted Emily to know that she had nothing to worry about when it came to her loved ones being cared for. Emily shot him an appreciative smile. It gave her a sense of comfort to hear that Toby would keep things under control.

“Take care of yourself, too,” Emily added, putting her hand on top of Toby’s.

“Since we’re trading favors, I’ve got one to ask of you,” he said.

“Shoot.”

“Don’t die.” Toby crinkled his nose and gave her a lukewarm smile. “I don’t like it when you do that.”

“You got it.” Emily smiled back.

A silence fell over the room for the next few minutes. Emily felt a ball of tension overtaking her body. There was a sense of dread clutching her in a tight chokehold. Her hands started to shake.

“Emily? Are you okay?” Toby saw her trembling.

“This is happening,” she felt herself starting to panic. “This is really happening.”

Something inside of her clicked. Up until now she’d been so preoccupied making sure that her friends were okay that she hadn’t dealt with her own feelings. It was only in knowing that her friends would be taken care of that she felt comfortable falling apart herself. Now she realized why she’d been so calm earlier.

The calm before the storm.

Like always, she had waited until the last possible minute before she let herself crumble. She’d felt it coming last night. She’d tried to hold it in, but when she felt Alison’s gentle touch she’d felt overcome with her grief. Ali had been able to keep some of that pain at bay, but she wasn’t here now.

“Oh, God…” She started taking huge heaving breaths. “Toby, I’m freaking out.” She felt the sobs building up in her chest. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to lose you guys…I don’t want to lose _her_.”

“Hey, hey, Emily, calm down.” Toby took her trembling hands. His palms were warm against hers. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?” Her voice quaked in unease.

“Because…” His tone was even and supportive. “…you’re Emily. Surviving is what you do. This is nothing. You’ve got this.”

Spencer had told her the exact same thing. Emily wondered if Toby had been trying to convince Spencer of that all along. Probably.

“Hey, you’ve made it this far.” Toby tried to soothe her anxiety. “You can make it through this, too, okay?”

Emily choked back her fear and nodded, trying with all of her might to believe Toby’s words. He qualmed her fears. When she settled down again she asked him to look for Ali for her one last time. He told her he was going to run to the nurse’s station to try and have her paged in case she’d found her way back to the hospital.

Emily only noticed he’d forgotten his phone after he’d left. She stared at it for a minute, an idea prickling her brain. She reached over and grabbed it and dialed Ali’s number before she could lose her nerve. She knew Ali wasn’t going to answer, so when she got her voicemail…she was ready. She knew that Ali was going to panic when she heard the message, but the last thing she wanted to do was leave unanswered questions or unresolved feelings.

After she hung up, she was near tears. She quickly centered herself and then opened the video camera app. She looked at herself for a minute. If it weren’t for the oxygen line…she never would have given off the vibe of someone who might die. Other than looking a little worn, she still looked…and felt…like herself. She pulled the clear plastic tubes away from her face and then took a deep breath before hitting the record button.

She had just finished up and was hooking her nasal cannula back up when Joyce walked into the room. It was almost time for her to go down to surgery. She looked at the clock.

9:45.

She’d gotten her pre-op medications and was getting ready to be wheeled out of the room when Toby came back in. Still no Ali. Toby rubbed his hands together nervously.

“I’m sorry, Em.” He felt like he’d let her down.

“It’s okay. Maybe it’s for the best. She’d be a wreck if she was here right now,” Emily said, feeling sluggish from the medications. “See you on the other side?”

“I’ll bring the six pack and you bring the slim jims.” He nodded.

She handed Toby back his phone, hoping he’d find the video if they needed it.

“Tell them I love them,” she said.

“Tell them yourself.”

Emily nodded. She was semi-conscious as she was wheeled down the hospital halls and into an elevator. She ended up in a very large white room. She felt like she was on a spaceship. Her doctor was there with another doctor and a team of nurses. She could hear her doctor talking to her, but she couldn’t comprehend the words he was saying. She closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep. The last thought she had before the anesthesia knocked her out was of Alison. Ali’s smile. Her laugh. Her soft lips. The spark in her eyes. Her warm hands. The way she commanded control of a room simply by walking into it. When she was around, Emily didn’t see anyone else. Even when she wasn’t around, Emily couldn’t think of anything else. She held on to Alison’s face for as long as she could before the drugs knocked her out.

By 10:07 she was fully sedated. Fifteen minutes later, the lead surgeon was dragging the scalpel across her skin creating an incision for him to work with.

At 10:32, Ali was cursing violently about the fact that _A_ had hacked their phones that morning to delete all the incriminating text messages, which meant a large portion of their proof was gone.

At 10:51, Toby was pacing the hallways trying to get in touch with Ali again. Her phone rang from inside a bag, which was underneath an unattended desk in a police work room. No one was around to hear it.

At 10:58, Emily’s blood pressure spiked dangerously high, but the doctors were able to stabilize her and continue with the procedure.

At 11:07, Ali was pleading with Tanner to let her get back to the hospital, not knowing that at that very moment Emily had a pair of forceps and a hemostat inside her chest touching her heart.

At 11:20, Toby found the video Emily had left on his phone. Her words rendered him speechless.

At 11:28, Ezra and Caleb found out that the girls were at the police station and they quickly drove there.

At 11:32, Emily started to crash. Her heart started beating erratically and she started to lose more blood than the doctors were comfortable with. But they pressed on.

By 11:35, the doctors had stabilized Emily again. And while Emily was doing a delicate dance between life and death, the girls were being questioned about their involvement in the tampering of _The Radley_ ’s security footage.

At 11:47, Caleb was insisting that the police let him see Hanna so he could tell her what was going on, only to be shut down by an overzealous cop who “didn’t like his attitude”. Ezra had to stop him from throwing a punch.

At 11:52, Emily’s body temperature dropped and her heart suddenly stopped. Thirty seconds later the doctor got it started again.

At 11:54, Ezra tried to call Toby to tell him that Tanner was holding the girls at the station, but the call was intercepted by their stalker and was subsequently dropped.

At 12:02, Toby was pacing the hall on his phone trying to get in touch with Spencer. He accidentally bumped into a nurse that was gowned in surgical attire and wearing a surgical mask. He didn’t realize that it was the criminal they were all looking for.

At 12:10, Emily’s chest filled up with blood and the doctors had to deliberate on whether or not they were going to have to convert to an open chest technique.

By 12:12, they found the source of the bleeding and were able to stop it.

There were several more instances of Emily crashing, but she always fought her way back. Even in her unconscious state, she refused to give up. Emily had already defied the odds and had survived the most difficult part of the procedure. She was fighting to survive, and the doctors were fighting to keep her alive. It was a good combination.

Her instability made the doctors nervous. It was only when they were closing her up that they were able to breathe a sigh of relief. Somehow, by some miracle, she had pulled through.

At 1:15, they wheeled her into recovery. Two minutes later, Joyce told Toby the news. He almost collapsed in relief. Joyce took Toby into the restricted area to see her, telling him that if anyone asked him why he was there to tell them that it had to do with “police stuff”. Toby and Joyce waited on her to wake up. Twenty minutes went by before she stirred, her eyes flickering open. She was disoriented at first, pawing at the tube sticking out of her mouth.

“Easy.” Joyce put her hands on Emily’s arms to keep her from ripping the tube out.

“I’ll get the doctor.” Toby volunteered.

Minutes later, the doctor was extubating her and doing a post-operative exam. Emily drifted in and out of consciousness, not sure if she was dreaming. Had she actually survived?

“Am I alive?” She thought she was asking herself in thought, but she heard her raspy voice echoing out loud, the words scratching her tender trachea as she spoke.

“You’re alive, Em.” Toby was smiling down at her, relief written all over his face.

Had he snuck into the recovery room? She saw Joyce and it took her a minute to piece together that her wily nurse had probably broken a few rules to get him in here with her.

“Well, that’s a relief.” Emily closed her eyes, still exhausted from the surgery. “So much for surgical statistics, huh?” She smiled. She was alive. She got to live after all. “Tell that neurotic girl of mine that it’s finally over,” she murmured.

“She’s going to be mad you did this without telling her.” Toby teased her.

“She’ll get over it.” Her eyes fluttered open again for a few brief seconds. Toby detected a hint of a smile on her face.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step out.” The doctor faced Toby. “The next few hours are critical to her recovery. She needs her rest.”

Toby didn’t argue. He was just so relieved that Emily had made it. Joyce escorted him out of the room, leaving the doctor to finish his exam. A few seconds later the doctor followed, needing to check on his other patients. Toby and Joyce walked out of the recovery area, passing by a nurse dressed in surgical garb. Once they had turned the corner, the nurse walked towards Emily’s room.

Emily opened her eyes again and the room was empty. She looked at the clock.

It was 2:03.

Her eyelids still felt heavy. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the feeling of her chest steadily rising and falling. She had some discomfort as she breathed in and out, but she was so thankful that she got to feel that discomfort. She was thankful she got to feel anything at all.

Two minutes later, at 2:05, an unexpected visitor sauntered up to her bedside. Emily heard something rustling and then she heard the click of something that sounded like a camera.

“Hello, Emily.”

Emily opened her eyes and turned towards the voice. As soon as she saw who it was she sucked in a surprised breath. The machines that were monitoring her started beeping irregularly.

“I’m afraid your time is up.”

She had survived the surgery. But would she survive _A_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this cliffhanger even made ME angry at me, so...you’re not alone. Heh.


	32. The Sound of Silence

Emily didn’t say anything at first. She could hear her pulse pounding in her head. A wave of dizziness wafted over her. She knew that there was no way that what she was seeing was real. There was no way this was happening. She opened her mouth to speak, but the part of her brain in charge of speech didn’t seem to be working. She muttered out something that wasn’t even remotely coherent.

Her vision started to blur. She felt like she was looking at a mirage. After a few seconds she came to the conclusion that she was just high as a kite. She had to be hallucinating. It had to be the drugs. Or another nightmare. She would wake up any minute now and Ali would be by her side, holding her…caressing her cheek, her bright blue eyes pulling Emily back into reality.

She felt a weird strain on her chest and the room started spinning. She closed her eyes and took a breath. Her heart monitor continued beeping rapidly. Emily was waiting for a doctor or a nurse to come in and check on her. She knew that they’d come running as soon as they heard that she was unstable.

“You know, the problem with machines is that we’ve become so reliant on them that we’ve forgotten how fickle they truly are. Without a power source, they’re basically paperweights.”

Emily heard the machines suddenly stop and her eyes jerked back open. She’d been hearing that heart monitor as background noise for almost 24 hours straight. Hearing it stop didn’t feel right, dream or no dream. She looked at the machine and saw that the screen was black.

“People have gotten so lazy. There’s just no substitute for real human contact. And believe me, I should know. I spent enough time underground to appreciate human interaction.”

Emily could still hear that horrible voice, but she wasn’t looking at the person standing over her. Her eyes were on her heart monitor. She clumsily tried to reach up and turn it back on, but something caught her wrist. The grip was more powerful than she expected it to be. She stared at the gloved hand gripping her wrist and her gaze drifted upwards. The surgical mask was back on her assailant, but Emily could still see the steely eyes that had been haunting her nightmares. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. She knew she had to pull herself together. She didn’t want her heart giving out on her after everything she’d just gone through. She’d already had this dream. It had nearly killed her last time. She wasn’t going to let that happen again.

“This isn’t real.” Her words came out slurred. Her head was swimming from all of the anesthesia. “I’m dreaming.” Emily mumbled, pulling her hand free. “I still have anesthesia in my system.” She closed her eyes again.

“You sure about that?”

Emily felt the tied opening at the top of her hospital gown flutter open and then she felt two rubbery gloved fingers tracing the outline of her incision. Without warning, those fingers gripped one of her sutures and tugged on it roughly, pulling tight against Emily’s incision. It sent a sharp pain through her chest. Emily’s eyes opened wide. Her right hand shot up towards her chest, knocking the unwelcome fingers away from her tender flesh. The sensor on her finger measuring her oxygen level slipped off as she bent her knuckles and laid her hand against her incision in a move to try and protect herself.

“You’re not real,” she said, a firm tone in her voice, trying to convince herself…because she was the one dreaming this after all.

She set her jaw and narrowed her eyes, staring, waiting for this nightmare to end. She was still convinced she was unconscious. Maybe she was still sedated. Maybe she hadn’t woken up and seen Toby and Joyce. Maybe she was still on the operating table. Maybe she was dying right now and that’s why she couldn’t hear the heart monitor anymore.

“Did you know that experts say that you can’t read in your dreams?” Suddenly, there was a phone dancing in front of Emily’s face. The motion was making her sick to her stomach. “It has something to do with the mind’s inability to retain the permanence of words. When you don’t have the physical text in front of you it’s impossible to keep certain sentence structures organized.”

The phone stopped moving and Emily saw a line of text messages, all messages that they had gotten from _A_. It made her head hurt. She moved her hand from her chest and pushed the phone away like a child pushing away a vegetable they didn’t want to eat.

“Go away.” Emily shut her eyes tightly. If she couldn’t see it, it wasn’t there.

But she felt it. She felt it when a fingernail dipped into her incision and pressed into the extremely sensitive skin. She huffed out a surprised cry. Emily’s eyes jerked open again, tears automatically welling up in them from the pain. She reached for the nurse call button, but the minute she touched it, it was knocked out of her hand. The motion slammed her wrist into the bed railing.

“It’s too late for that.”

She felt a stinging sensation where her bone had made contact with the hard railing. _That_ had felt pretty real. She stared at her hand for what felt like a long time, but in reality it had only been a few seconds. Everything was happening in slow motion. A question plagued her mind. A horrible thought. Was this actually real? Was this really happening? She’d had so many nightmares recently that she couldn’t distinguish when she was awake and when she was just dreaming. What if she was so used to her nightmares that she couldn’t recognize terrible things in real life anymore?

“What’s the matter, Em? Feeling a little mixed up? Not sure what’s real anymore?” There was that laugh, that horrible laugh. Suddenly the surgical mask was brushing against her face, and the voice was now a whisper. “Your mind never left the dollhouse, did it? It still has a piece of you.”

Emily felt fingers walking towards her chest again, brushing her incision.

“Get…get away from me.” Emily was finding it harder and harder to fight her rising panic.

Her eyes flickered towards the door, which was unfortunately closed. They were alone in the room. She felt long rough fingers splaying out against her chest, slowly applying firm pressure. Her eyes widened, both in pain and in surprise.

“Oh, come on, Emily. Don’t look so shocked.” More pressure, more pain. “You’ve known. You’ve known all along. I couldn’t have spelled it out any clearer for you.”

“But…you…you can’t be…” Emily stuttered. “How? Why…why would you…” A jolt of pain jabbed her heart. “St – stop.” She squeaked out a cry, her mouth open in a silent scream. She started to black out. She felt herself trembling, choking on her own breath. “P-please…”

And just like that, she felt the pressure stop. Her vision slowly returned to normal.

“Honestly, it would have been better if you had just died on the operating table.” A remorseful sigh that sounded almost authentic echoed in the room. “I never wanted to hurt you. You might not believe me, but I really am sorry about all this. I didn’t know it was going to go this far.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Emily saw a full syringe with a needle being plunged down into her IV line. She sucked in a breath, a weird shallow gasp. She wanted to scream, but her lungs felt frozen.

“Out of everyone, I hate that it has to be you. You were always the kindest. I never felt right about torturing you. I really do care about you. I tried to protect you. The last thing I wanted was for you to suffer.” Another sigh. “But…things change. You and your friends didn’t deliver what was asked of you. And now, the cops are involved. It’s only a matter of time before this blows up. So…” A shrug. “Game over.”

Emily felt a burning sensation in her vein. She looked down at her IV line and saw the fluids pumping into her. The substance flowing into her IV port looked thicker and had a slightly yellow tinge to it. She reached for the catheter to rip it out, but she was grabbed by the wrist again.

“There’s no use in fighting it anymore.”

Emily tried to break free, but she was helpless, caught in a vise. She stared in horror as the drugs slowly ran towards her vein. She was powerless to do anything to stop it. She was like a dog in an overcrowded shelter that was being put to sleep, watching its life slowly come to an end. The same thought kept repeating in her head.

_This can’t be happening._

As she struggled and squirmed and tried to get away, it suddenly dawned on her.

This was real.

This wasn’t a nightmare.

She was going to die.

After everything she’d gone through. After all the near misses. After all the countless nights of lost sleep. After all the tears she and her friends and family had shed. After all of her hoping and wishing. After surviving her heart stopping _five_ times, once after her cardiac arrest and four times during surgery. After fighting back from the brink of death countless times, _this_ was what was going to kill her?

“Help! Hel – ”

Emily tried to scream again, but her cries were quickly silenced by a gloved hand. On instinct, she bit down. She tasted the latex from the gloves.

“Good luck with that.” An amused laugh rang out into the air.

Emily reached up and tried to pull the hand away from her mouth, her fingernails dragging across the thin gloves as she clawed weakly. She felt the energy draining from her body. Her hand went slack and automatically slid back to her side. Her muffled cries for help just got lost in her own throat, her voice completely drowned out by the hand over her face.

Then she felt it. It was like hot liquid burning her veins as it slowly crept up her arm. It was so potent that she felt like she could pinpoint exactly where it was in her body. Her arm was burning, a feeling so intense that she suddenly understood why animals caught in traps would chew off their own limbs to escape the pain. It felt like a deadly infection slowly creeping towards her heart. She felt hot, a flash of sweat drenching her out of nowhere. The more poison that oozed into her body, the hotter she felt. Her insides felt like molten lava. Her muscles started to ache. She felt her shoulders twitching and her teeth chattering.

She groaned, her garbled and shaky breaths sending vibrations into her throat and all around her until she felt like the sound was melding into her brain. She bucked and thrashed and flailed around and cried out, a loud “no” stifled by the hand pressed firmly against her lips. She cried out again, begging for someone to hear her, begging for the doctor to come back. Begging not to die.

“Stop struggling. You’ll just make it worse for yourself. Just let it happen.”

The urge to fight back was suddenly overshadowed by the fact that she _couldn’t_ fight back anymore. Her movements were no longer her own. She felt like she’d lost the connection between her brain and her body and she was slipping into a state of nonexistence. She started to lose feeling in her toes, a burning numbness slowly climbing up her body. She tensed up, her spine curving forward, pushing her abdomen and chest forward with a rigidity so tight that she arched off of the bed. She could still feel her chest well enough to feel her incision being pulled taut.

She could feel her chest burning. Then the shaking started. The tremors rattled the bed. She dug the fingers of her free hand into the itchy sheets, desperately trying to hold on to her consciousness. Her mind was begging her body not to stop fighting. Her eyelids flickered, her eyes rolling back into her head, and suddenly she was careening towards something she couldn’t see. She was falling into some dark hole. She cried out for Alison. She needed Ali to keep her from disappearing. Ali was the very reason she had survived this long. She heard Ali’s voice in her head, her promise,

_“If you ever feel yourself slipping I will be there to catch you.”_

Emily reached out, grabbing at the air, desperately searching for those blue eyes to pull her out of this, but Ali wasn’t there. Emily fell deeper. She felt herself fading, but she tried to hold on. She held on. She held on for Alison. She tried to pull herself back from the darkness. She fought it with as much strength that she could muster.

But it was no use.

Her thoughts were screaming at her. She felt a throbbing pain in her head that slowly started to move down her spine. Her chest ached, her lungs seized up, and her throat clenched shut. An overwhelming sense of fear overtook her. Her body was failing her. Her mind was shutting down.

_Oh, God. I’m dying. I’m actually dying. This can’t be happening. I’ve come too far. I’ve gone through too much for it to end like this._

Her senses were heightened, yet deadened at the same time. She could feel everything, but nothing. It was like an age old riddle with no answer, mocking her on her way out. Her body jerked, and then she was still. She felt cold, then warm. Then she felt nothing.

_I promised her. I promised her I’d be okay._

Suddenly, all the noise stopped. The pain stopped. Everything stopped. And she was suspended in time, weightless, nonexistent. It’s like a tether had snapped. She was empty. Vacant. She’d felt like this before in her nightmares. But this felt different. This felt like something she wasn’t going to wake up from. Still, it didn’t stop her from doing what she always did when she felt lost. A breathless whisper tickled her lips.

“Alison,” she huffed weakly.

_We didn’t have enough time._

There was never enough time.

_Ali…_

She fought against it.

_I’m not ready._

Ali didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t fair. She knew Ali would never come back from this, and that was a feeling worse than death.

_Ali, I’m so sorry…_

She wanted the fairytale, the happily ever after. She wanted forever with Ali.

_Please forgive me. I tried. I really tried. I fought for you. I swear I fought for you. I just…I can’t…I can’t hold on anymore…_

Her world felt like it was closing in on her. Every memory of her existence, every moment, every instance of joy and pain, everything that made her Emily Fields flooded her mind like a messy painting filled with every color in the world. Neurons were firing faster than she could process them.

_Please let her be okay. Please don’t let this destroy her. Let the fact that I loved her be enough…_

It was getting harder to fight. She felt herself give up. She felt herself stop fighting. She’d never felt so hollow in her life. She was shrouded in obscurity. It was like her soul was falling into oblivion, like the fog from a heated breath on a mirror slowly disappearing. She wanted to scream, to yell, to cry, to _feel_ anything. But all she could do was fall to the ground and let the darkness wash over her.

_This is what dying is? This sucks._

Just when she thought she was going to get dragged to hell there was a break in the dark, a light slowly consuming her. She pushed herself to her knees, eyes still on the ground…refusing to meet whatever was coming for her. She heard movement. She felt a warm palm against her face. It was familiar, calm and reassuring. She could feel so much love in the soft touch, one she knew well.

She was dreaming. Ali was here. Ali hadn’t let her disappear.

“Alison?” she looked up hopefully.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. The person in front of her slowly came in to focus. She gasped. It was the face of someone she never thought she’d see again.

“Dad?” Her voice caught in her throat.

“Oh, Emmy…”

Her father was leaning down in front of her in his dress blues, still the exact same man she remembered from her childhood. He looked young and vibrant. God, he was so handsome and his eyes were so full of love. Emily had missed him so much.

She gawked at him in disbelief. She’d spent so much of her time wishing to see her father one last time, but now that he was in front of her she had no idea what to say. She should have been ecstatic to see him, but instead she felt the grief of everything she was leaving behind. She looked into his eyes, a mirror image of her own, her chin wobbling.

“I don’t want to go,” she managed to squeak out a cry.

She leaned forward and engulfed him in a hug, overwhelmed by his scent – aftershave and mint. His hand gently cradled the back of her head, pulling her closer. He kissed the top of her head. She buried her face in his chest and started sobbing.

“This isn’t fair. I’m not ready, dad.”

“I know, kid.”

Emily closed her eyes, her arms tightly wrapped around her father. Even though she was in her father’s arms, she felt helpless and lost.

“You’re okay, Emmy. You’re going to be okay, baby girl.”

Emily felt him brushing the back of her head and she felt herself relaxing. She felt herself letting go. After a few minutes with her father everything melted away and the dark didn’t seem so dark anymore.

Twenty minutes later, after Joyce had finished her rounds on her other patients she made her way back to the recovery area to check on Emily. When she walked into the recovery room she found an empty bed and a young nurse stripping the sheets.

“Where’s Emily?” Joyce asked.

The nurse jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Huh?” The nurse turned around to face her.

“The patient that was in here. Did they already move her back to her room?”

“No, the patient that was in here went into cardiac arrest about fifteen minutes ago,” she said it as easy as someone would rattle off a lunch order. It would have unnerved Joyce had she not been so stunned by the news.

“What?” Joyce asked, a hitch in her voice. “No. There has to be some mistake. Where is Doctor Hardy?”

“After he called the time of death he told us that he needed to contact her family. He went to find her emergency contact information.”

Joyce looked around the empty room, the news not quite sinking in. She’d been in the field for almost fifteen years, but losing someone, especially someone so young and so sweet, never got any easier – at least not for her.

“What happened?” Joyce questioned.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? Why didn’t someone call me? She was my patient! Who ran the code?”

“Sorry.” Another _‘I don’t know’_. “I’m just a temp. I just go where I’m told and do what I’m told.” The nurse shrugged as she wadded up the sheets. For some reason it made Joyce irrationally angry. The nurse recognized the scowl on Joyce’s face. “It’s part of the job, right?”

“You need to leave. Now.” That was nurse-speak for ‘get out before I stab you with a needle full of mind-altering drugs’.

The nurse walked towards the door. She glanced at Joyce as she was leaving. There was something about her that Joyce didn’t like. The nurse paused at the door and then faced Joyce again.

“I’m sorry.” Her face softened considerably before she left the room, but Joyce didn’t believe she meant the words.

Joyce stood in the empty room for a few minutes, trying to process what she’d just been told. She walked over to a computer and logged in so she could pull up Emily’s chart. She scrolled to the newest notes that had been added, along with a time of death. She sighed and lowered her head. She thought about how Toby had been punching the wall yesterday, and she suddenly felt the urge to take her frustration out in the same manner. If there was ever a time to punch a wall, this was it. She took a moment to compose herself and then she went to see if the doctor had talked to Toby yet. Usually the doctor was the one who informed the patient’s family of their death, but sometimes it did fall back on the nurses. And this was a unique case.

Toby was sitting in the lobby typing a message on his phone. When he saw her coming he lowered the phone. He had a smile on his face that broke her heart. He had no idea.

“Hey, is she out of recovery already?” Toby stood up to greet her. He saw the look in her eyes and his smile quickly faded. “Joyce?” He felt his stomach tighten in tension. “What is it?”

Joyce tilted her head, eyebrow cocked in a sympathetic expression. She put her hands on her sides, waist slightly bent. Her thumbs dug in to her hips as she suddenly felt the weight of the loss.

“We…uh…” She’d had to do this way more times than she ever wanted to admit. It sucked the life out of her every time. “…we lost her.”

Toby felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. A draft of air blew by him. He looked around for the source of the wind, but then he realized it was just the shock hitting him. He opened his mouth to reply, but his words got caught in his throat. Instead, all that came out was an unintelligible confused groan. Joyce started talking again. Toby saw her mouth moving, but didn’t hear a word she said. He stared at her, clutching his phone tightly. When Joyce finished talking he nodded, almost robotically.

“I…I…um…” He glanced around the waiting room, back to Joyce, and then looked at his phone, “…I have to make a call.”

And without saying anything else, he walked away. Joyce started to follow him, but a trauma patient came in and the doctors grabbed her to assist them.

Toby walked outside, the bright sunlight hurting his eyes, which had seen mostly nothing but fluorescent lights for the past 24 hours. He felt a throbbing pain behind the gash on his head, and he suddenly realized he hadn’t taken any pain medications or anti-inflammatories since the accident had happened.

That accident.

That damn accident. If it weren’t for _A_ mowing them down with a truck Emily would still be alive. He felt his face flush in anger, his cheeks red and hot. He wasn’t going to rest until they caught the person responsible. The law be damned. He was going to murder the bastard with his bare hands.

All he could think about was how much this was going to crush everyone. Spencer had been right yesterday when she told him that _A_ was doing this to get to all of them. A loss like this paralyzed them.

_“Going after Emily hits us all where it hurts, and A knows that.”_

Spencer’s words carried so much truth to them, but he hadn’t let himself feel it until now.

_“Now that we know she’s the target we can protect her.”_

But Spencer had been wrong about that. He hadn’t been able to protect her. Just like when he was trapped in the car watching Emily struggling against _A_ , he hadn’t been able to do anything today. He hadn’t been there for her. No one had been there for her. He choked up when he thought about her last moments. Had she been awake? Had she known what was happening?

He stood there motionless for a moment, letting the sun hit him in the face. It hit him that Emily would never feel the sun again. He stared at his phone. This was the hardest thing he would ever have to do. He’d had to deliver more than his fair share of bad news to wives and husbands about their spouses dying of strokes, heart attacks, and accidental falls and to parents of children who were killed in car wrecks and drownings. But this cut him so deep he was certain he was never going to heal. This wasn’t a stranger or someone he just waved to in the street. This was someone in his family. This was Emily. His fingers hovered over the screen on his phone. He wasn’t sure who to call first. Pam? Ali?

Before he could dial anyone, his phone sprang to life in his hand. He looked at the caller ID. It was a number he had seen before, but he didn’t really recognize it. Suddenly remembering that the girls were still missing, he shook himself out of his shock to answer, thinking maybe it was one of them calling.

“Hello?” He asked, his voice not sounding like his own.

“Toby?” It was a man’s voice on the other end.

It took him a minute to place it. He’d heard the voice earlier today. He immediately realized why he recognized the number. Because he’d dialed it.

“It’s Elliott.” Elliott replied on the other end when Toby didn’t answer. “Ali wasn’t at any of her usual spots. But I think I might know where she is. When I went by her house I was practically jumped by these two cops that were on the property. There’s something going on there. My guess is that they have Ali in custody for some reason. I’m on my way to the precinct and I…”

“Elliott,” Toby interrupted him. “Something happened.” His heart felt heavy, thick. Had that been what Emily’s heart felt like all this time? Jesus, it sucked. “It’s Emily. She…” He trailed off, unable to finish the statement. Saying it would make it real.

“She what, Toby?”

“She’s gone. She’s just…” He lost his train of thought.

The line fell silent, neither man knowing what to say. The call only lasted for about sixty more seconds. Toby was so out of it he had no idea what they’d said to one another. After he hung up he took another good long look at his phone. He had been so certain she’d be okay. He had never thought they would truly lose her. She’d come through the surgery. She had opened her eyes and looked right at him. What had happened? What had gone wrong? This wasn’t right. She was supposed to survive. He’d told her that she would be fine. She was supposed to be fine.

“This was not supposed to happen,” he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but they spilled out of his mouth.

_A_ was not supposed to win. What were they supposed to do now? How were they supposed to move forward from this? He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. How was _Ali_ supposed to move forward from this? He had promised Emily he would be there for Ali, but he’d never stopped to think about _how_ he could be there for her. There wasn’t much you could do to help someone alleviate the pain from something like this. He couldn’t imagine his life without Spencer. Someone being alive without their other half wasn’t really living…it was just surviving. He dreaded seeing Ali fall apart again. He remembered the crushed look on her face when he’d delivered the news about Charlotte. But even after he’d seen her fall apart, he knew she would come back from it. There was no coming back from this. He heard the last words Emily had said to him echoing in his mind,

_“She’ll get over it.”_

He was now realizing the agonizing irony of those final words. He swallowed his emotions, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He still didn’t believe it was possible. He had just seen her not even half an hour ago.

A little boy came up from behind him and darted past him, a stick of string cheese in one hand and a slim jim in the other.

That’s when it hit him. Toby felt his nose starting to burn.

_“I’ll bring the six pack and you bring the slim jims.”_

“Damn it,” he uttered, part anger, part grief. “Damn it, Emily. You were supposed to live.”

He bit back his tears. He shifted his weight from foot to foot for several minutes, trying to figure out what to do, how to deal. He’d promised Emily he’d hold it together for her loved ones. He didn’t have the luxury of falling apart. Not yet anyway.

He took a deep breath and started scrolling to find Pam’s number. He heard something fall against the ground and his head jerked up. He saw that a paramedic at the end of the ambulance bay had dropped a bunch of stuff out of the back of her rig. She bent over, cursing while she tried to clean it up. He blinked a few times. He felt compelled to help, so he took a step towards the ambulance. He felt powerless and out of control and he needed to do something normal for a few seconds, because once he hit the “send” button on his phone, all hell was going to break loose.

What he didn’t know was that hell was already breaking loose across town. The girls had yet to convince Tanner about this new _A_ ’s existence. She explained that the marriage certificate the girls had found was null and void because she’d confirmed Alexander Drake’s death. She’d found no trace of the texts that the girls had been getting. And her forensics team hadn’t found a trace of anyone being in Ali’s house and attacking Emily. She sent a team out to the dollhouse to see if they found anything there, but she was beginning to believe the girls’ accusations weren’t going to lead anywhere.

Even their public defender had been no help. Spencer blew her top when the fresh out of college fetus fumbled through the case being built against them, unsure of how to help. Spencer ended up doing most of the talking, falling back on everything her parents had taught her over the years. Once she was done stating her case she laid in to Tanner for refusing to release them. She ranted about how they needed to let Ali go because Emily’s surgery was at three and it was almost three. Tanner calmly explained that they were still waiting on the paperwork for their release, which Spencer knew was just an excuse she was telling them to hold them longer while they waited on more evidence to pile up against them. She called Tanner out for using underhanded tactics to keep them there.

When Spencer took a breather from giving Tanner hell, Ali interjected with a few colorful barbs of her own. Aria tried to reel her in, but Ali brushed her off. Aria looked to Hanna for help, but Hanna just called Tanner’s staff incompetent dumbasses and joined Ali and Spencer in telling Tanner off. All of them were irate about not being able to see Emily before she went in to surgery, not having a clue that it was already too late.

Outside the station, Ezra and Caleb were throwing temper tantrums of their own. Their girls had been cooped up in the police station all day while Emily needed them. And things had gotten progressively worse because they couldn’t even reach Toby to get an update on how things were going. They didn’t know it, but _A_ had been blocking every single one of their calls. After what felt like the tenth time that Ezra couldn’t get through to Toby he angrily hurled his phone into the floorboard of his car and punched the door, immediately drawing his fist back and muttering “ow.”

“What was it you were saying to me when I started to take a swing at that cop earlier? Something about using my words instead of my fists, Mr. Dead Poets Society?” Caleb asked sarcastically.

“Shut up.” Ezra rolled his eyes.

“Did it help?” Caleb questioned curiously, glancing at Ezra’s reddened hand.

“No.” Ezra rubbed his knuckles. “What the hell are we going to do? We have to get them out of there.”

“Maybe I can hack into the building and set off the fire alarms,” Caleb suggested.

“That would only get us thrown in there with them.” Ezra shook his head. “Tanner is stalling. She could have arrested them, but she’s waiting on something. Something solid, I bet. She wants to keep them so she can easily book them when she gets that final nail in the coffin. She’s never going to let them go without proof that they are innocent.”

There was a beat of silence, then Caleb turned to Ezra.

“So then we get proof,” he said.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Exactly what we were going to do before we got derailed. Let’s check the locations of where the texts originated from. If we’re lucky we’ll find proof. If we’re _really_ lucky we’ll find _A_. And we’ll get to punch the real deal instead of car doors.” Caleb had a look in his eyes like he was ready to kill.

Ezra felt the same way.

“Screw throwing punches. I’m going to throw this person into oncoming traffic.”

“Damn, Mr. Darkside.”

“You have no idea.” Ezra started his car.

He’d always been opposed to violence, but there wasn’t much he wouldn’t to do protect the girls. It was somewhat of an overcompensation from the days in which he’d done nothing to help. Plus he’d promised Emily he was done letting them suffer. He was sick of seeing them hurt.

They left the precinct to try and find something that would solve this once and for all. They had gotten halfway to the first location when they went through a dead-zone, not realizing that at that very moment the girls were being released and were trying to contact them. Tanner told them that they were not to leave the city, but that they were free to go.

The first thing Ali did was check her phone. Her battery was dead.

“I need a charger.” Ali obsessively tried to turn the phone on, even though she knew it was out of juice.

“Mine’s in my car,” Spencer said, jostling her keys in her hands.

They grabbed their things and ran out to the parking lot where Spencer’s car was parked, Spencer thanking the world for small favors. The cops had almost made her leave her car where she’d been pulled over, but she’d convinced them to let her bring it to the station. They’d basically tailgated her the whole way. Spencer had almost considered slamming on her brakes in a fit of road rage. It would have served them right.

“God, the guys probably think we’re chained to a radiator in some psycho’s basement.” Hanna dialed Caleb’s number.

“That would have been an upgrade from this place.” Spencer nodded her head towards the police station with a sneer on her face. “That bitch is all over us about breaking laws. She broke like a half a dozen herself today. I swear all the cops in this town are dirty.”

Hanna pressed her phone to her ear.

“Anything?” Ali turned to Hanna eagerly.

“Went straight to voicemail.” Hanna shook her head.

“Yeah, Ezra’s not answering either.” Aria frowned and hung up her phone. “I hope they aren’t out there doing something stupid.” She bit her lip. “You don’t think they went to hunt down _A_ on their own, do you?”

“That’s exactly what they’re doing.” Hanna knew Caleb. There was nothing her heroic idiot wouldn’t do for her.

Ali reached for the door handle, pausing as her fingers curled around it. She felt a strange tingling sensation crawling up her spine and she froze in place. She stared at the door with a dumbfounded look on her face. She felt weird, dizzy, almost as if she was staring at herself from a different dimension. There was a faint ominous feeling plaguing her. She’d had the same feeling yesterday when Emily didn’t show up at the police station. Her inner voice was screaming at her, and it was deafening.

Spencer climbed in the driver’s seat and Aria climbed in the front next to her. Hanna walked around the rear bumper and got in the back behind Spencer. Ali continued to stare at her reflection in the window.

“Ali, come on.” Hanna popped her head out of the back door, looking at Ali from over the roof of the car.

Ali shook herself out of her daze and got in the car.

“Spence, the charger?” Ali asked as Spencer started the car up.

Spencer pulled her phone off of the car charger and hooked Ali’s up, then she peeled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. Hanna and Aria checked their missed calls, both seeing that they had voicemails from Caleb and Ezra. Hanna got to Caleb’s voicemail just a few seconds before Aria got to Ezra’s. They both said the same thing.

Hanna let out a soft squeak, the noise so quiet they’d barely heard it. Ali whipped her head to the side just in time to see Hanna’s face drop.

“What?” Ali asked, a dismayed look in her eyes.

Aria spun around and looked at Hanna, her eyes wide and afraid after hearing Ezra’s message telling her the same thing that Hanna had just heard from Caleb. Hanna and Aria shared a glance that Ali didn’t understand.

“Someone tell me what the hell is going on.” Ali ordered.

Hanna lowered her phone, her eyes soft and sensitive, no hint of the fire that usually burned inside her soul. It was a look that scared Ali.

“They had an opening in the surgery schedule this morning,” Hanna tried to keep her voice calm. “They took Emily into the O.R. at ten.”

Ali’s legs felt like they were turning to jello. Before she even had a chance to think, she was already moving. She ripped her seatbelt off and leaned forward, grabbing her phone, charger and all. She pulled her phone to the back, stretching the charger as far as it would go. She pushed the power button.

“How could this have happened?” Ali shook her head in disbelief. She was supposed to be there.

Spencer slowed the car to a crawl, glancing back at Ali with a worried look on her face.

“Ali, put your seatbelt back on.” She scolded her.

Ali didn’t respond at first. She stared, waiting for the screen to come to life.

“Ali!” Spencer exclaimed. “I will pull this car over. _A_ has already tried to kill both you and Emily on the road. Now put your seatbelt back on.”

“Huh?”

It took Ali a few seconds to realize that Spencer was talking to her. Her brain was going about a mile a minute as she focused on the screen of her phone. She had so much on her mind that she couldn’t think straight. Ali looked up, and for the first time she realized what Spencer was saying to her. She nodded mindlessly, still waiting on her phone to spring to life. She slid into the middle seat so the charger wouldn’t be stretched too far. She buckled the seatbelt across her lap.

She heard the other girls talking over her. She caught bits and pieces of what they were saying. At one point she heard Aria tell her everything was going to be okay. Hanna quickly piped in to agree with her.

Ali’s phone buzzed and hummed a tune as the home screen finally popped up. She had several missed calls from Toby. Her vision started to blur.

Why had he called so many times?

Her shaky fingers dialed her voicemail. The first message was from Toby, telling her that she needed to get back to the hospital because Emily’s surgery had been moved up. His voice was strained, but controlled. His next message was just more of the same thing. The third message was from Elliott basically parroting what Toby had said in his first two messages. Then there was another voicemail from Toby, this one rattling off that he was starting to worry because he couldn’t get in touch with anyone. She skipped to the next message. The line was silent for several seconds, making Ali think it had been a butt-dial. But just as she was getting ready to skip it she heard a sigh on the other end.

_“Hey, it’s me.”_ She heard Emily’s voice. Ali gripped the phone tightly. It felt like her heart had stopped in her chest. _“You probably know by now that they moved my surgery time up. They’ll be in to get me in a few minutes. And I thought…what better way to kill some time than by talking to my favorite person in the world? And then I realized I don’t have Meryl Streep’s number. And I thought I’d call you instead.”_ Emily teased.

Ali smiled weakly. She felt her eyes starting to water.

_“I’m sure Toby has blown up your phone trying to find you. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re not somewhere by yourself panicking or…off destroying another church.”_ She laughed. Ali couldn’t help but smile when she heard her laugh. _“I still can’t believe you went all Wreck-it-Ralph on a chapel, Ali. What was that all about?”_ She could practically hear Emily rolling her eyes. _“You know, I should discourage you from doing that kind of stuff, but if I’m being honest…I find it kind of hot. To know that the depths of your love for me run deep enough for you to risk pissing off…whoever is in charge of our lives…it’s really sweet, in your signature way, of course. You never cease to surprise me. I love that about you.”_

The line got quiet for a few seconds.

_“I love everything about you. I hope you know that.”_ A pause. _“I think you do.”_ Another pause. _“You told me once that no one loved you as much as I do. I think you knew that before I did. The truth is, I always knew I loved you, but I didn’t realize just how much I loved you until I had to live without you. Getting that letter, coming back here…it brought me back from a really dark place. You brought me back.”_ There was a crack in the line, Emily taking a breath. _“Last night you told me that I’m your heart…but my heart only beats because of you, Ali.”_ She heard Emily’s voice break. _“I love you so much more than you could ever know. My whole life I’ve never loved anything more.”_ She sighed, then cleared her throat. _“I just wanted you to know that. That you’re loved. That you’re worthy of love…and happiness, and…just…so much more. The world. I know it’s corny, but you deserve the world.”_

There was another second of silence before she continued,

_“God, listen to me. I’m rambling. Got to love being drugged up. I should go before I propose marriage or something.”_ She laughed, though Ali thought she could hear a quiet sniffle. _“I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye, baby.”_

Ali felt actual physical pain after the voicemail cut off. She tilted her head up and took in an uneven breath, her face tightening into a heavyhearted expression. She ran two of her fingers underneath her right eye where tears had started spilling on to her face. Hanna saw her crying.

“Ali, it’s okay.” Hanna put her hand on Ali’s knee. “It’s Emily. She’ll pull through. She always does. She’s probably out of surgery and sharing a pudding cup with Toby as we speak.”

Emily had told Hanna that they always found a way to survive, and Hanna believed it. Because they had been through so much and they were still standing. Hanna grabbed Ali’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze. Ali shot Hanna an appreciative watery smile and nodded, unable to communicate verbally. She was still processing Emily’s words. She turned and stared out the car window, trying to take everything in. She watched the clouds moving above them. Something about the movement drew her out of reality. She felt distant, like there had been a shift in the universe. It’s almost like the world had slowed down and she could feel the Earth moving on its axis. It was a strange feeling to know that even when they were completely still, they were still in constant motion.

“He’s still not answering…”

It was Spencer’s voice that drew her back in to reality. Ali looked at the clock. Almost fifteen minutes had passed since she’d listened to Emily’s voicemail. Spencer put her phone down, having been unsuccessful in her attempt to reach Toby.

“That doesn’t mean anything though, right?” Hanna asked. “He could be in no-cell phone zone or something. Don’t cell phones interfere with certain medical equipment? If he’s with Em they may have told him to shut it off.”

“Maybe.” But Spencer didn’t sound convinced.

Hanna’s phone rang. Ali glanced over and saw relief on her face. She knew immediately that it was Caleb. Hanna answered before the second ring. Ali watched as Hanna bickered back and forth with Caleb, first telling him that she was glad he was okay…then telling him that if he went and got himself killed that she would still have his ass dragged down the aisle because there was no way she was losing her deposit for the venue. After she greeted him with her typical “I hate you, I love you” they talked briefly about what was going on with Emily. Caleb told her they hadn’t heard anything else from Toby. He explained they’d been waiting at the police station, and once they realized that arguing with the police was getting them nowhere they decided to check out the locations they’d hammered down. They had just gotten to the first location, though he said there was nothing out there. Hanna called him an idiot and then begged him to be careful.

“I can’t believe they went out there on their own.” Aria murmured after Hanna hung up.

“That’s what the morons we’re in love with do…they risk everything for us.” Ali sighed, closing her eyes, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“We should start a club. An _‘our lovers are dauntless fools’_ club.” Spencer frowned.

“I get to be president.”

No one argued with Ali. Emily had basically thrown herself into the lion’s den in order to defend them. Ali sighed, resting her head against the seat. The car was quiet for a few seconds. The silence was interrupted by all of their phones bleating at the same time. Ali’s head snapped up, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. They had heard that noise many times before. And nothing good ever followed. Ali was the first one to pull up the message. She looked at the words on her screen and fought back the urge to throw up.

_“Thought it was time for a heart to heart.”_

There was a photo attached. Ali dropped her phone, the cord to the car charger snapping against the center console. It was a picture of the door to the recovery area at the hospital.

“Oh my God,” Aria cried in shock.

“Is that what I think it is?” Hanna looked at the photo in disbelief.

“What?” Spencer glanced at Aria, then looked in the rearview mirror. She saw that Hanna and Ali were equally as freaked. All the color had drained from their faces. Spencer quickly turned her eyes back towards the road, dying to grab her phone and look. “What is it?”

“ _A_ is there. _A_ is going to kill her.” Ali’s voice shook.

“No, no one can get to her. Toby is there. And…the doctors…there’s no way anyone could get past security.” Spencer’s face fell flat as she tried to rationalize a way for Emily to be safe.

“Have you forgotten how easy it was for Mona to get in to Emily’s hospital room and leave her a pain-cream latte when she had her ulcer?” Hanna asked. “Or how Charlotte performed dental surgery on me? The medical facilities in this town are a joke. For all we know this maniac has a doctorate in torture!”

“Hanna.” Aria glanced at Ali and then glared at Hanna and shook her head. She knew Ali was already beyond worried. If they panicked they were going to make it worse.

Their phones went off again. This time, none of them could hold back their fear for Ali’s sake. The new message was a picture of Emily in her hospital bed, eyes closed. She was completely at the mercy of _A_. Spencer couldn’t help herself as she glanced down at her phone. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. She took a sharp turn and nearly hit the curb.

“Ease up, Spence. We can’t help Emily if we’re dead.” Aria grabbed the handle above her door for leverage.

“Who is doing this to us?” Ali moaned. “I don’t understand who would go to such great lengths to hurt us like this. This can’t just be about Charlotte. Nobody cared _this_ much about her. The only people who even knew her well enough to cry at her funeral were me and Elliott.”

Elliott had even gone as far as blaming himself for getting Charlotte released. Of course, she didn’t remember much of what had been said after she’d found out about Charlotte. It was all a huge blur. But she did remember Elliott being just as upset over the loss as she was. She hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but the more she thought about it the more she started to wonder if there was something she was missing.

Charlotte had flipped out when she found out that Elliott and Ali had been romantically involved. She’d felt betrayed that her sister and her therapist…whom she’d shared all of her deepest and most personal thoughts with…were more than just friends. Why had she reacted so passionately about that? Was it about more than just a breach of confidence?

“Oh my God.” She suddenly felt very queasy. _It’s Elliott._ “Floor it.” She reached out and gripped Spencer’s shoulder.

Five minutes later, Ali was racing through the sliding glass doors at the hospital, the girls barely able to keep up with her. She started running towards the admin desk. To her horror, she saw Elliott talking to the girl behind the desk. He turned around and saw her. He had a weird look on his face.

“You son of a bitch!” She barreled towards him, her nostrils flared, her face bright red.

“Easy.” Elliott had a calm façade that only a doctor could keep in the midst of chaos.

“How could you?” Ali snarled.

Elliott didn’t say anything. He just stared at her inquisitively. Ali stopped and stared back at him. The way he was looking at her…it didn’t make sense. He did not have the face of a man who was reveling in her misery. He looked like a dazed and lost little boy. He looked scared. Confused.

Something was wrong.

“You…” Something inside of her felt empty. Hollow. But she wasn’t sure what. “…why would you do this?”

“Ali, slow down. What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about what you’ve been doing to us, how you’ve been torturing us… _her_. That’s why you’re here, right? To try and take her away from me?” Ali’s fingers tightened into fists.

“What?” His eyes narrowed in confusion.

“You stay the hell away from Emily. Do you understand me? If you even so much as touch a hair on her head…”

Elliott’s eyes flashed in sympathy, a look that Ali wasn’t expecting to see. It sent a shockwave through her body. What if she was wrong? What if there was another reason Elliott was here? Her fists loosened. She suddenly felt like she’d been submerged in ice cold water.

“Elliott,” Her rage had been replaced with fear, “why are you here?”

“Something’s happened…” Elliott rubbed his face with his hand, pausing on his jaw. “Emily, she…”

“No.” Ali took a step back, nearly losing her balance.

Elliott reached out and grabbed her to keep her from falling backwards. She looked at him, eyes wide with terror. She knew what he was going to say. She’d seen that look before. It was the same look Lorenzo and Toby had on their faces the morning they had come to tell her about Charlotte.

“Don’t you dare…” She snapped, “Elliott, don’t you dare say it…”

“Alison, I’m so sorry to be the one who has to tell you this…” He sighed. “Emily didn’t make it.”

There was a gasp from behind her. It sounded like Spencer. She caught a glimpse of her friends out of the corner of her eye. They’d caught up to her, and they’d heard the news. Spencer was breathing heavily, her hand shot up to her face and she pressed her palm against her mouth to muffle her cries. Her other hand was pushed up against her stomach, like she felt an ache she couldn’t soothe. Aria stared at Elliott in shock, her lips twitching, her eyes watering. Her nose was already red, her mascara already running. Hanna’s face was scrunched up in pain, tears running down her cheeks as she quietly wept.

The words hit Alison like a freight train. It couldn’t be true. He was _A_. He was trying to make her worst nightmare seem real. He was tricking her. He was lying. Wasn’t he?

“No.” Alison’s voice was calm, detached.

“I…” Elliott struggled to find his words. “It all happened so quickly. I talked to Toby and he told me.” His voice was quiet, more docile than she’d ever heard. “He…he thought it might be a good idea for me to be here. I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his palm against her arm.

“Don’t!” Ali screamed, yanking her arm away from him.

“I know how much you loved her. I can’t even imagine…”

But she didn’t hear anything he was saying. Or rather, it wasn’t registering in her brain. She heard the girls crying behind her. Hanna and Aria were sobbing. Hanna let out a loud cry and Spencer instinctively put her arm around her to comfort her. Hanna curled into Spencer’s shoulder. Hanna reached out and grabbed Aria’s hand, pulling her towards them. Aria fell into their embrace and squeezed Spencer’s arm as she cried.

Ali turned her attention back to Elliott. She felt furious.

“You’re lying!” She lunged forward and started pounding her fists against his chest angrily, hurting herself more than she was hurting him. “Where is she?”

“Ali…”

“WHERE IS SHE?” Alison screamed hysterically.

She shoved past him and tore through the halls screaming Emily’s name. Elliott quickly followed her. She nearly tripped over a wheelchair. The fact that it was in her path enraged her. She kicked it out of the way, continuing until she reached Emily’s room. She skidded to a halt when she found the empty room. It was quiet. All she could hear was the sounds of her ragged breathing. No beeping. No heart monitor. Just silence. She closed her eyes, desperately wanting to open them back up and find out this was just a dream. When she inhaled a breath through her nose she could still pick up the faintest smell of her. Through all the chemicals and cleaners, she could still smell Emily.

She heard footsteps behind her. She spun around, and was beyond disappointed to see Elliott. She marched towards the door, determined to find Emily, determined to end this nightmare. When Elliott didn’t move, she shoved him.

“Get out of my way.”

“You’re in shock. You need to stop and take a breath.” He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.

She was so angry she couldn’t see straight. What she was angry at was hard to pinpoint. She just knew she felt pain and rage and she couldn’t stop it. She drew back and started to throw a punch at him, but he caught her arm before her hand could make contact with his face. He didn’t look the least bit mad over her outburst. In fact, he had a look in his eyes that told her that he understood her plight.

“Ali…” His fingers slowly slid down her arm towards her wrist. She felt like his fingers were a pair of handcuffs closing in, trapping her. She panicked.

“No, no, let me go! I have to find her! I told her I’d be here.” She jerked away from him. “I promised her. I…” Her chest started heaving and she could barely contain the sobs from building up. She suddenly felt the urge to run again.

Elliott saw her eyes dart towards the hallway.

“Hey, listen to me…” He gently put his hands out in front of her to try and stop her.

“Elliott, you don’t understand. She needs me. I told her I wouldn’t leave her. I was never supposed to leave her. Not again. She thinks I left her. She thinks…” Words were pouring out of her so fast that she lost track of what she was saying.

“Ali. Alison, look at me.” Elliott grabbed her arms again. His grasp was firm, but delicate at the same time. He slipped his hands down her arms and wrapped his fingers around her wrists. “Look at me.” He repeated, tugging on her hands, forcing her to listen. “She’s gone.”

This time she heard the words. This time they registered. This time she couldn’t stop the pain from penetrating the wall she’d put up to protect herself. The rage was gone. The grief took over. She heard herself utter out a weak “no”, then a moan escaped her lips. It was like no other noise she’d ever heard before. It didn’t even sound human. It was like her soul had been ripped away from her and she was dying from the inside. Spots started forming in her eyes. She looked down and saw her trembling hands, only she didn’t recognize them. She didn’t recognize anything. Suddenly, the world seemed unfamiliar to her.

She dropped her phone and sank to the floor, wailing loudly. Elliott leaned down next to her, tentatively reaching his hands out to her, then pulling back because she’d done nothing but recoil from his touch since she got here. He didn’t want to make it worse. But after a few minutes of seeing her sitting on the cold hospital floor shivering, he leaned forward and pulled her in for a hug. She didn’t react at all. He nervously rubbed her back to try and soothe her, knowing that it really wasn’t doing much good. A rug had been pulled out from under her. A whole life…her whole world.

The room was eerily silent except for the sounds of her cries. When she closed her eyes she saw Emily. Her kind eyes. Her sweet smile. Her bright aura. Everything she loved…everything she _was_. Gone.

She could hear her voice in her head.

_“Bye, baby.”_

She sobbed harder.

Her phone beeped, her screen blinking to life beside her. She rolled her cheek against Elliott’s shoulder, craning her neck to look over at it. It had landed face up, so she was able to read the message on the screen.

_“Time for the final act. And believe me, you don’t want to miss the last curtain call. It’s to die for.”_

Seconds later a picture popped up, prompting a gasp in between her breathless sobs. The photo was a picture of a hand, palm up, fingers slightly bent, but completely slack. Even without seeing the hospital bracelet hugging her wrist, Ali would recognize those soft delicate fingers anywhere. Her breath caught in her throat. She pulled away from Elliott and reached for her phone just as another message came in. Another photo popped up, this one of Emily’s face, her eyes closed, her lips parted. She looked pale, lifeless.

Ali felt her stomach clench. This wasn’t over. This was far from over. She stared at the phone, waiting for the next taunt. Thoughts were swirling in her head. Was Emily breathing? Was she alive? Or had _A_ killed her and stolen her body like the bitch had stolen her life? Part of her was hoping to get a video next...something _, anything,_ to confirm that Emily wasn’t dead. The other part of her was terrified. Terrified that if Emily was alive that _A_ was doing horrible things to her. Something inside of Ali snapped. A flash of crazed mania she imagined that murderers felt before stabbing someone a hundred times flowed through her veins.

She smashed her fingers against her keypad, typing a response. Six simple words.

_“I am going to kill you.”_

And she meant it. Someone was going to pay for this. She wouldn’t rest until whoever this was got what was coming to them. The volcano that was Alison DiLaurentis was about to erupt and tear a hole in the world. And she was going to take _A_ down in a smoldering blanket of ash and an ocean of flames. This bitch was going to choke on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before you start stabbing me with your pitchforks, let me just explain something. *stares at angry mob, opens mouth to speak, turns on heels quickly and runs away*


	33. All Hell Breaks Loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when you were a little kid and you made the declaration that you were old enough to ride the rides with the big kids and thought you were brave enough to tackle it, but the minute it started you were screaming for your life like, “WTF have I gotten myself in to?”
> 
> Yeah, this chapter is a lot like that. Just wait until you get to the end. Muahahaha*coughs, excuses self to sip on hot tea to soothe throat, then comes back to finish*ha.

* * *

 

While Ali sat on the floor of Emily’s hospital room in a complete haze, her friends had fanned out to try and find her. They didn’t want her to be alone. And even though they knew Elliott was with her, that was just as well as her being alone, because Elliott couldn’t be there for her in the way they could. He didn’t know what they were going through. Spencer had sent Hanna and Aria to search one direction while she searched another.

It didn’t dawn on any of them to check Emily’s room. They were all so shell-shocked that it was a miracle that they were all still standing. After they’d heard the news, Hanna had collapsed to the floor briefly before Spencer and Aria pulled her back up. It hit them all hard, but it hit Hanna a little harder…because she had always gravitated towards Emily. Emily was one of the very few people in her life who could give her crap and make her laugh all in one breath. She was the person Hanna would call if her life was in shambles, which made walking through the hospital halls looking for Ali extremely difficult, because all Hanna wanted to do was pick up her phone and call Emily.

Aria and Hanna walked together, silently, neither of them having the courage to speak because they knew as soon as they opened their mouths they would start sobbing again. Spencer wasn’t faring much better. She’d had to duck into a bathroom to catch her breath after she got a reply to her text telling Toby that she needed him. His response had shaken her to her core.

_“Be there as soon as I can. With Em’s mom, talking to the doctor. She’s a wreck. I can’t leave her right now.”_

Picturing Pam Fields falling apart was too much for her. Spencer’s mother had been with Pam, Ashley Marin, and Ella Montgomery when Pam got the news about Wayne. What had started out as a girl’s spa day had turned into one of the worst days of Pam’s life. And now she had a day to rival that nightmare. Spencer leaned over the sink, face in her hands, huffing in deep breaths to try and keep herself from breaking down. She knew Alison needed them. She wouldn’t admit she needed them, but Spencer knew she did. She slid down in between the sink and the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest, unaware that Ali was across the hospital doing the exact same thing in Emily’s room.

Ali stared at the text she’d sent to _A_ , begging for a response, ready for a fight. She wanted this psycho to know that she was coming for them. For some reason she thought sending death threats would make her feel better. Channeling her rage had always worked for her in the past. But this was different. She’d never felt such overwhelming emotions in her life. Her whole body was shaking. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, like someone had reached into her chest and was squeezing the life out of her.

She had been angry before, but this was beyond angry. This was beyond rage. A fuse had been lit inside of her, something so powerful that she was hemorrhaging a wrath of biblical proportions. Every cell in her body was overcome with her agonizing feelings of grief. She could feel her heartbreak. But it was easier for her to feed her temper than it was for her to let her sorrow win.

She had no sooner pushed herself to her feet when she came face to face with an orderly walking through the door. He had a plastic bag in his hands, the kind that the hospital used to gather patients’ belongings. He looked from Ali to Elliott and then back at Ali, his lips pressed together.

“Can I help you?” He seemed confused by their presence.

“Who are you?” Ali demanded. She didn’t trust anyone anymore. For all she knew, _A_ was on the payroll at this hospital.

“I work here.” The orderly puffed up in defense. “Who are _you_?”

“This is my girlfriend’s room.” Ali didn’t back down.

The orderly’s face suddenly changed from defensive to sympathetic. It was a look that Ali was beginning to _loathe_. She wasn’t quite ready to accept sympathy, because until she saw Emily and knew her fate for sure she wasn’t going to accept her death.

“Why don’t you come to the waiting room with me?” The orderly asked.

“No.” Ali turned her lip up at him, like a snarling dog ready to lunge.

“You really shouldn’t be in here…” He looked around the room.

“I want to know what happened to her.”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss anything, and if you’re not immediate family then you can’t be here right now.”

“We don’t mean to cause trouble…” Elliott tried to play the peacemaker.

“Shut up, Elliott.” Ali cut her eyes at him, wondering what it was that she saw in the spineless ball-less wonder in the first place. She glared at the orderly again. “I want to talk to a doctor.”

The orderly sighed, part pity, part impatience.

“Look, they can’t tell you anything until they talk to her family.”

“I _am_ her family!” Ali raised her voice angrily.

“Maybe we should…”

“Shut _up_ , Elliott!” She snapped again. Her wild eyes found the orderly’s gaze again. “I am not leaving here until I talk to a doctor.”

The orderly, sensing that she was going to have to be forcibly removed, decided to try the passive route first.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“No, I don’t want you to _see_. I want you to actually do it.” Ali growled at him, taking an aggressive step towards him. “You’re an orderly, right? So _follow orders_.”

“Alison.” Elliott hissed in disapproval. He knew she was upset, but it was no excuse for berating the hospital staff.

She completely ignored Elliott as she took another step towards the orderly, who looked surprisingly intimidated. Ali was close enough to throw a punch now, and both Elliott and the orderly knew she was capable of it. The orderly stole a quick glance at Elliott with something that looked like relief on his face. He was clearly afraid that Ali was going to unleash her fury on him, and he was glad there was a witness in the room to keep it from coming to blows. Ali saw them exchange glances, looking at one another like men who thought they could handle a tiny irate blonde. Typical chauvinistic males. They had no idea what she was truly capable of.

“Find. The. Doctor,” Ali said slowly. “Before my fists find their way to your crotch.”

She saw the orderly discreetly moving his hands protectively in front of his pelvic area. She wasn’t sure how far she was actually willing to go with her threat, but she needed to take her rage out on someone. Why not a perfect stranger? Elliott started to step in, but the orderly waved him off.

“It’s fine.” The orderly looked at Elliott and then at Ali. “Clearly, you loved her. She must have been really special to you.” Ali didn’t miss the past tense. It sent a pang of grief through her. “I’ll get someone for you.”

After he backed out of the room, Ali relaxed her stance. She looked down and saw that her hands were shaking. She slowly turned around and looked at the empty hospital room again. Her eyes stopped on Emily’s hair-tie sitting on the stand next to the bed. She closed her eyes, swallowing a burning feeling that was crawling up her throat. She was wobbly on her feet. She felt like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time.

“Ali?” She heard Elliott’s voice. “Maybe you should sit down.”

She didn’t say anything to him. She just walked over to the bed…Emily’s bed, and she sat down on the edge. The bed felt so cold without Emily in it. The memory of last night came flooding back to her. All she could see was Emily curled up against her, her warm flesh nearly burning Ali through their thin layers of clothing. She could still feel her fingers ghosting through Emily’s hair as she tried to comfort her. She could still feel Emily’s lips moving against hers. She longed for that feeling again. Just one more kiss. One more touch. One more minute. She ran her hand across the cool sheets, the bumps and ridges of the blanket tickling her palm.

She waited, impatiently, for the doctor. After a few minutes, a middle-aged man with tousled gray hair and a white lab coat walked into the room. He had an electronic device in his hand that held all of Emily’s medical information. It wasn’t Emily’s doctor, but Ali recognized him from the time she’d spent wandering the hallways at the hospital. She choked back bile thinking about just how much time she’d been in the hospital lately. She started to think about how she never wanted to see another hospital room again, but then she realized she’d gladly take a hospital room over the morgue.

“I understand you were friends of Emily Fields?” He asked, his voice deep and tired.

There was the past tense again. Ali stifled a groan. She nodded, suddenly unable to find her words. All her brain was telling her to do was punch stuff. She had to remind herself to save it for _A_ ’s face.

“Right. Well, my colleague Dr. Hardy is the one who was in charge of her case, but right now he’s in an emergency surgery with another patient. I’ve been briefed to answer any questions you might have.” He spouted it off like it had been said a million times before, and it probably had. Doctors traded off patients like kids traded Pokémon cards.

“I want to see your badge.” Ali looked at him warily.

“Pardon me?”

“Your badge. Let me see it.” She motioned to his ID.

The doctor’s brow creased in confusion, but he unclipped the badge from his coat and handed it over to Ali for inspection.

**_Dr. Julian Capaldi  
M.D._ **

It was worn, and the clear plastic slip covering it had several little rips and tears. Ali glanced at the photo and then looked at the doctor, nodding as she handed the ID back to him. She looked at him, her face unreadable.

“What happened to Emily?” she asked, not really wanting the answer so much as she wanted retribution.

His mouth straightened into a tight line. His brow crinkled in thought. Ali could tell that he was getting ready to spew some crap about HIPAA privacy laws and not being able to share information.

“So help me God, do _not_ say you can’t tell me anything, because I will rip this building apart to get answers.” She’d already started by tearing up their chapel.

“I understand you’re upset…”

“I’m not upset,” she said, her voice calm, but her expression tense. “I’m _pissed_.” Beyond pissed. Ali started grinding her teeth together. “And if you think _this_ is me unhinged, just try to tell me that you’re not going to talk to me and see what happens. I dare you.” Her face remained rigid. “I’ve got nothing left to lose.”

He looked at the electronic chart in his hand, trying to avert Ali’s gaze. His emotional distance irritated her. He didn’t say anything at first, and Ali thought she might explode. He scanned some notes and then looked up at her.

“She was awake and alert at 1:55. The notes indicate that the surgeon did a post-surgical exam on her and everything seemed to be fine. She was found unresponsive fifteen minutes later. They tried to revive her, but they were unsuccessful.”

It was so direct, so blunt. She could tell that he was basically just vomiting up what the chart said. Ali clenched her fists.

“Why the hell wasn’t anyone with her?” She never should have been left alone. It had only taken minutes for _A_ to slip in and go after her.

The doctor looked at the device in his hands again, further angering Ali. She didn’t want someone to _read_ to her. She wanted someone who _knew_ what had happened.

“An intern looked in on her at 2:00, and she was resting comfortably.”

Ali felt her stomach twisting in to knots. She knew exactly who that “intern” had been. _A_. She had the pictures to prove it. How else could _A_ have photos of Emily after her surgery? _A_ had clearly wanted Emily’s surgery to kill her, so when she’d survived… _A_ must have been waiting in the wings to come back to finish her off. Ali looked at the clock. It was almost 4:30. The photo of the recovery area and the photo of Emily in her hospital bed had been taken over two hours ago. And what about the pictures she’d just gotten? Of Emily’s hand? Of her face? When had _A_ taken them? Did _A_ have her now? Ali wanted to scream.

“Her heart must have given out shortly after that. We won’t know the exact cause until an autopsy is done.”

She felt physically sick at the mention of an autopsy. She couldn’t stand the idea of Emily lying on a slab of granite in the morgue.

“If it’s any consolation she probably didn’t feel a thing. In these instances it’s usually quick and painless.”

But Ali knew it had been anything but. Those photos she’d received made her believe that Emily had suffered. _A_ had made her suffer, and it was all because of her. It was her fault. Emily had suffered because she had pushed her to talk about _A_. She had made Emily a target by insisting to be a part of the game.

“She probably passed peacefully in her sleep.” As if that would comfort her. Emily was too young to have died ‘peacefully in her sleep’. “Her body went through _a lot_ of trauma. Her heart just wasn’t strong enough…” The doctor was still looking at the iPad in his hands.

She’d had enough of him.

“Stop looking at that!” Ali wanted to smack it away. “Look at _me_!” Did doctors not know how to make eye contact anymore? “She was a person! Not just a bunch of random notes and numbers in your stupid system! She was a living breathing human being! How can you talk about her like she was just some…science experiment!?”

It was only after her outburst that she realized she’d just used that dreaded past tense. She huffed out a frustrated grunt.

“He’s just trying to make sure you get the most accurate information.” Elliott took a tentative step towards Ali.

The doctor didn’t react to Ali’s outburst at all. The guy was apparently adept at giving crappy news. Or he didn’t know how to respond to her anger. The orderly had probably warned him that she would punch him in the giblets.

“Where is she? I want to see her,” Ali said, still not believing that Emily was gone.

“From what I understand, her body has been moved to the morgue.”

 _Her body._ It sounded so wrong, so fake.

“I’m afraid I _can’t_ help you with that. I’m already breaking protocol by talking to you about this. The only people who are allowed to see her are immediate family. Her mother has been informed…”

 _Oh, Jesus._ Ali felt weak. _Pam._

Poor Pam. Ali sucked in a heavy breath. Pam had _just_ found out about Emily’s heart. Emily had told Ali that Pam was optimistic about finding something that would cure her. She’d had hope. She’d been determined to see to it that Emily lived a long and happy life. This was going to kill Pam.

Just last night Ali had texted Pam to let her know that Emily had lost her phone, just like Emily had wanted. Pam had thanked her for letting her know, and they’d texted back and forth for a few minutes before Pam had to go. Her last text was haunting Ali.

_“I know you’ll take good care of her.”_

Ali had failed at that. And now, Pam had to bury her daughter, a child she’d carried in her womb for nine months and carried through life for 23 years. Emily was the last light in Pam’s life, just like she’d been the last light in Ali’s life. Ali felt a surge of dizziness.

“Her mom is here? Where is she? Can I talk to her?” It was equal parts wanting to be there for Pam and _needing_ to be with her, because no one loved Emily as much as they did.

“I believe she’s with the brother…”

Ali almost said that Emily didn’t have a brother, but then she realized who the doctor was talking about.

_Toby._

There was no way Toby would let Pam go through this alone. He’d taken to looking after Pam for Emily when Emily moved to California. Pam and Toby basically did a dance of trying to “out-polite” one another. Pam would bring some freshly baked cookies to the station and then Toby would show up at her house and mow her lawn or fix things that needed to be fixed.

Something chimed from inside the doctor’s pocket. He took his phone out and glanced at the screen.

“I’m afraid I have to go,” he said. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” It sounded so generic. So rehearsed.

He walked out of the room, leaving Ali to deal with her emotions. She stood completely still, one hand curled into a rigid fist and the other squeezing her phone so tight that she was surprised it hadn’t shattered in her hands.

Her phone flashed and she snapped her head down to look at it, only to see that it was just an alert that her battery was running low again. She hadn’t let it charge nearly long enough in Spencer’s car. She had a couple of unread text messages from Spencer. She didn’t feel like looking at them.

“Do you want me to get your friends?” Elliott asked softly.

What she wanted was Emily. She wanted Emily to look at her like she was the most amazing thing in the universe. She wanted Emily to run her fingers through her hair. She wanted Emily to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, because when Emily Fields said something was going to be okay…she believed it. The love Emily had for her was the very reason that Emily had been able to reach her after Charlotte died. Emily just being with her made her feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That light was gone now.

“I want you to leave me alone.” Ali slowly turned around and looked at the empty bed again.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Elliott frowned.

“Elliott, please…just go.” She growled under her breath.

Elliott hesitated at first. He looked at her with deep concern, knowing she was on the verge of freaking out again. He hadn’t even seen her this far gone after Charlotte died.

“I’ll be right outside in the hall if you need anything.”

She muttered something about him not hovering, but she knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t going to go far. He took mental health way too seriously. She rolled her eyes. So she was unstable and might blow up the hospital, whatever.

After he walked out of the room she walked back over to the bed, dragging her fingers along the edge of it as she tried to figure out what to do next. She stared at the wall, picking out the exact same spot she’d stared at almost all night last night while Emily slept in her arms. She could still hear Emily meekly calling out to her,

_“I don’t want to die.”_

She closed her eyes, refusing to cry. Tears had no place in her life. Not until she brought the hammer down on _A_ ’s head.

Her phone lit up again, annoying her about her battery.

“I heard you the first time you piece of…”

She looked down and froze when she realized it wasn’t the low battery alert this time. There was a new message from _A_ ,

_“Already coming in for the kill, Alison? She fought me, too. And look what happened.”_

A video popped up. Ali’s thumb hovered over the play button for a few seconds. Her face felt hot. She sank down on to the bed and finally gathered the courage to watch the video.

She regretted it immediately. The shaky cell phone footage was of Emily, a gloved hand over her mouth. She screamed against the palm clamped over her face, clearly in pain. Her eyes were screwed shut and her neck was arched against her pillow. The phone nearly slipped out of Ali’s hands when she realized she was watching _A_ torture Emily after her surgery. Emily fell limply against the pillow, and the hand slid away from her mouth just as Emily huffed out Alison’s name, barely audible.

Ali’s eyes watered when she heard Emily call out her name. Her jaw snapped shut. Emily had needed her. She had needed her and she wasn’t there. Because of _A_. It wasn’t enough to kill her. _A_ had tortured her and wanted Ali to know about it.

Ali waited with bated breath, not wanting to watch, but unable to look away. Emily’s lips parted and her jaw went slack. There was no movement, no breathing that Ali could see. Then the video ended and the file disappeared from her phone. It took every ounce of strength she had not to throw her phone against the wall and scream. Before she could send another death threat, another message popped up on her screen.

_“I buried the doctors in paperwork the way I’m gonna bury her today.”_

Ali stared at the message for a few seconds trying to figure out what it meant. She started to reply with a rant-filled tirade complete with swearing, but before she had a chance to hit send another message came through. It was an address.

Her phone beeped, the low battery at critical now. Ali started repeating the address to herself over and over, searching for something to write with. She tore through the room and finally found a pen. She quickly scribbled the address down on her hand just as her phone’s screen went blank.

She looked at the dead screen, the image of Emily struggling burned into her mind. She curled her fingers into her palm and squeezed her fingernails into her skin until she drew blood. She stared at the ink on her hand. _A_ had taken everything from her. Everything. This jackass didn’t get to take Emily, too. Ali leaped off of the bed. She was hyper-focused, a determined ferocity in her gait as she took huge strides towards the door and out of the room. She almost ran into Elliott as she turned the corner.

“Hey, slow down.” Elliott saw the crazed look in her eyes.

“Let me go.” She started to bolt, but he got in her way, _again_ , which further pissed her off.

“Just hold on a second.” He put his hands up to try and block her.

She glared at him in irritation. She could tell that he was afraid she was going to do something destructive. And truth be told, she was.

“You have to calm down,” he said.

“Damn it, Elliott!” She shoved him with force. “Move!”

Ali ran down the hallway, almost knocking a tray with a bunch of medical supplies to the ground. She burst out into the waiting room looking for her friends. She didn’t see them. Had they gotten the same text? Were they already on their way?

She cursed under her breath as she glanced outside towards the parking lot. She considered her options. She couldn’t waste any more time. She couldn’t stand the pain anymore. She had to end this. If she couldn’t find Spencer, she’d have to steal her car, or _any_ car. She’d learned how to hot-wire cars when she was on the run. She’d electrocuted herself the first time she did it, but she had a quick learning curve after that. She took a step towards the door, but someone grabbed her arm.

“Ali, what’s going on?” Elliott gently turned her around to face him.

“I have to go.” She pulled away from him.

“Go where?” Elliott asked.

“I don’t have time to explain.”

An idea suddenly popped into Ali’s head. Her eyes drifted down to his pants. Without warning, she started feeling around the outside of his pockets.

“What are you doing?” He threw his hands up in surprise.

“I need to borrow your car. Where are your keys?”

“I can’t let you drive.” Elliott shook his head. “Not in this condition.” He took a step away from her.

“Give me your damn keys.” Ali demanded.

“You are _not_ getting behind the wheel of a car like this.” Elliott refused to back down. “You’re liable to wrap it around a tree and kill yourself.”

Ali glared at him. For a minute she considered whacking him over the head and knocking him out so she could steal his keys. She reluctantly relented, realizing that with her luck Tanner would be right around the corner to arrest her for assault and grand theft auto. She only had one other option. She wasn’t going to get anywhere unless she had a set of wheels.

“Fine. You drive.” She grumbled. “You have GPS, right?”

“I…”

“Come on, we’ll talk on the way.” She interrupted him before he could tell her no. She’d think up something to tell him once they were moving.

Minutes later they were on the road. Ali wasn’t sure what they were going to find when they got to the address. Maybe _A_. Maybe Emily’s body. Maybe nothing. All she knew is that if there was even the slightest chance that _A_ had Emily, she had to do _something_ about it. She couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. Not anymore.

The drive took forty-five minutes. Forty-five agonizing minutes of Elliott asking questions and Ali trying to come up with answers that didn’t make her look certifiably insane. Of course, she wouldn’t argue if someone told her that she was clinically insane. She knew that what she was doing was nuts. She didn’t care. All she could focus on…all she could see was Emily taking her last breath. The photos and the video that _A_ sent were burning her from the inside out.

The GPS led them out to a rundown old farm. There wasn’t anything around for miles. Even the wildlife seemed to have ditched the place. She looked over at Elliott in the driver’s seat, somewhat relieved that she hadn’t come out alone. He was a clueless cowardly idiot, but he was better than nothing.

The farm was falling apart. It had been boarded up, but the boards were broken and rotting. The place had the presence of death. The building looked like something out of a horror movie. Next to the barn there was a half collapsed silo, twisted metal and cement surrounding the ground around it. Elliott looked at their destination in apprehension.

“You still haven’t told me what we’re doing out here.” Elliott pulled up the dirt path that led to the farm.

“I told you, someone took something from me.” Ali peered out the window, her heart pounding in her chest the closer they got.

“Yeah, but what?”

The love of her life.

“It doesn’t matter.” What mattered was that someone was going to pay for hurting Emily.

“This is really unhealthy behavior, Ali.” Elliott slowed the car to a crawl.

“Can you stop being a shrink for two seconds?” She snapped. “Stop asking me questions and just drive.”

Elliott didn’t say anything else. He turned off the dirt path and stopped when he reached the building. Ali leaped out before he’d turned the ignition off. He fumbled with the keys and followed her. She raced up to one of the busted out windows of the building. She paused when she heard a very faint voice in the distance. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Emily!” Ali cried out.

“Emily?” Elliott looked at Ali in confusion. He looked at her like she was delusional. “Please don’t tell me we drove all the way out here because you…”

“Be quiet.” Ali hissed. She threw her leg over the ground level window.

“Ali, you can’t just go in there.”

“Watch me.”

She didn’t care if she was walking into a trap. She didn’t care what happened to her. All she cared about was Emily.

“That building is not safe.”

“Just wait here.” Ali wasn’t in the mood to argue, and she certainly wasn’t in the mood to babysit a grown man-child. Elliott liked to talk big about dealing with feelings and facing fears, but he was a total sissy.

She jumped to the floor on the other side before Elliott had a chance to grab her. The inside of the building was covered in moss and algae. It was an asthmatic’s worst nightmare. There was dirt everywhere and several weeds had sprouted from cracks in the ground. There were broken fragments of construction material everywhere. Ali suddenly shuddered reminiscing about how many places like this she’d stayed in when she was hiding from _A_ in high school. But she was done hiding. She was ending this today, one way or another. She heard shuffling behind her and she spun around, ready for a fight. She saw Elliott climbing through the window. He looked like a dainty schoolgirl. She almost laughed. A germaphobic doctor in one of the most unsterile places she’d ever seen.

“What is this place?” Elliott brushed his hands off on his pants and walked over to her.

Before Ali could answer, she heard the faint voice again. It sounded like someone shouting her name. She ran towards the noise, rushing past broken and rusted machinery and rust stained poles and walls. Elliott followed her. She skidded to a stop when she reached a cellar door. She paused and then looked back at Elliott.

“Do you have any weapons in your car?” she asked.

If Emily was down there, she wasn’t alone. And if _A_ was there they were going to need something to protect themselves with.

“A…weapon?” Elliott acted like it was the most ludicrous question in the world.

“I mean, do you have like a gun or a knife or something?” She was kicking herself for not thinking about it sooner.

“I’m sorry. I don’t drive around with an arsenal in my trunk.” Elliott replied sarcastically, clearly tired of coddling her.

“What about a scalpel or something sharp from a medical kit?”

“I’m a psychiatrist, Ali. Not a surgeon.”

“A tire iron? Anything?”

“For what?” Elliott asked. “What is really going on here?”

Ali ignored his question and her eyes scanned their surroundings. She saw a metal pipe hanging off of a spigot and ran over to pry it the rest of the way off of the wall. It broke loose easily. She pried the cellar door open, expecting someone to leap out at her. Instead, she just saw a dim light coming from fluorescent bulbs lining the walls. She was surprised to find that instead of a staircase, there was a narrow hallway with a floor sloping downward.

“Ali!” The voice cried.

The voice was unmistakable now. It was Emily. She glanced at Elliott and saw the look of surprise on his face. He’d heard it, too.

Ali’s body reacted before her mind did. She tore down the hallway, ready to bowl over anyone who got in her way. She was running so fast that she nearly tripped over her feet. She wanted to scream back, to let Emily know she was here, but she didn’t want to alert anyone to her presence. The hallway opened up into a larger area filled with construction materials. She saw a generator whirring, the lights flickering as it ran unsteadily. She jumped over rotting wood, weaved through busted metal, and ran past large cemented rooms that looked like they had been used to house large animals at some point. The underground building was deceivingly big.

Her heart was hammering so hard in her chest that the pulse she heard in her head was as loud as Emily’s cries. She turned the corner where the noise was coming from and almost ran smack dab into a closed door.

“Ali!” A scream echoed in the room. “No!” Another scream. “Please!”

Ali couldn’t contain herself any longer.

“I’m here, Emily!” Ali drew back and slammed the metal rail into the door. It sent a painful vibration through her hands, but she barely felt it. “I’m here! Hold on!”

Another hit, another wave of pain pulsing in her hands.

“Get away from her! You get away from her right now!” Ali yelled out a warning at _A_.

Another metal railing came down hard against the door and Ali glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Elliott swinging at the door, too. He rammed the pipe he was holding into the door handle.

She heard Emily scream again and she kicked at the door. It wasn’t budging. She looked around, feeling helpless. Elliott glanced around the hallway. He scrambled to grab something off of the floor.

“Here. Watch out.” Elliott brushed Ali out of the way.

He jammed a flat piece of metal into the door frame near the knob, wedging it in as tight as he could get it. He motioned for Ali to stand back, and she did. He raised his leg and slammed his foot against the metal, cracking the doorjamb. Splintered pieces of wood went flying and the door swung off of its hinges. Ali shoved past him to get into the room. He followed her. The room was small…and more importantly, empty.

Ali spun around and let out a frustrated scream.

“She was here. She was _just_ here!” Ali kicked a piece of wood on the ground. “That was her. I would know her voice anywhere.”

She didn’t want to admit out loud that she would know those cries anywhere, too. She’d heard Emily yell out in her sleep enough.

There was a noise from behind where the door was laying unevenly against the wall. Elliott pushed the door aside, revealing a small screen with a set of embedded speakers. On the screen there was a video of Emily. She cried out for Ali in her sleep as she rolled around, clearly having a nightmare. At first it looked like she was in her bed at home, but Ali quickly realized that this was footage of the dollhouse. Emily looked so young.

“Oh my God. Is this…”

“Yeah.” Ali nodded, interrupting Elliott.

“Ali, run!” Emily cried out on screen, thrashing to the side. “Leave her alone! Please don’t hurt her!”

Ali reached out, an automatic instinct she had to comfort her, never mind that this was a video taken five years ago. All Ali wanted to do was hold her. Her fingers landed on the screen. She wanted to tell Emily to wake up, that she was just dreaming. That everything was okay. An ear-piercing scream shook the wall. Ali felt it in her fingers and she drew back in surprise.

The footage cut to another room. Emily was blindfolded and chained to a metal chair, her shirt ripped, her feet in a tub of water. A shadowy figure stood next to her. A computerized voice chirped an order at her to make a choice.

“No,” she replied, weakly, but defiantly.

 _A_ shoved a cattle prod up against her feet and pressed the switch. Her body stiffened and jerked, straining against the barbed chains. One of the barbs from the chains dug into her shirt, dragging across her skin, drawing blood below her shoulder. Ali cringed. The scar on her clavicle. No wonder Emily wouldn’t tell her what had caused it. She thought about what she’d promised Emily when she’d kissed that scar the other day,

_“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”_

At the time, she really had thought she’d be able to protect Emily. She had been an idiot to underestimate _A_.

On the monitor, the computerized voice gave Emily an order again. And Emily refused to obey again. And another jolt of electricity was sent through her body. Emily held in her screams this time. Ali could see a look of determination on her face. She wasn’t going to give _A_ the satisfaction of screaming.

Seeing Emily being tortured sent a primal feeling through Ali’s body. Before she could stop herself, her fist was flying at the screen. The image pixelated under the shattered shards. Her knuckles started oozing blood. She drew her fist back to take another swing at it, but Elliott grabbed her wrist.

“You’re going to break your hand.” He scolded her.

“I don’t care,” Ali said, exasperated. She spun around, facing the wall, furious. “Charlotte did this to her. My _sister_ tortured her…” She put her face in her hands, “…because of me.”

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Emily.”

“Can’t I?” she asked, venom in her voice. “God, I should have stayed gone. If I hadn’t come back to Rosewood none of this would have happened. Emily would still be safe.” She started to feel a stinging sensation in her hand. “Charlotte went after her back then because she couldn’t get to me. How could she do this?”

“Charlotte was sick.”

“So was Emily!” Ali exclaimed angrily. They hadn’t known it, but Emily’s heart condition had been hiding beneath the surface her whole life, not that Charlotte could have known. Not that it would have made a difference if she had known. She probably would have used it to her advantage, like this _A_. “How many times did Charlotte do this to her? How many jolts did her heart take? How many times did Charlotte push her body over the edge? Whoever is doing this now is just the closer. Charlotte is the one who destroyed her. She’s the one who ripped Emily’s heart to pieces!”

Ali was angry. Angry at Charlotte for everything that she’d done. Angry at herself for forgiving her sister and loving her. Angry at Emily for telling her everything was going to be okay and then leaving her, broken and sad and alone. She was just so angry.

Ali heard a loud noise echoing off of the walls. It took her a second to realize that it was her, screaming, letting everything out. She sucked in another breath of air and was getting ready to scream again when a shadow fell over them.

“Look out!” Elliott grabbed Ali around the waist and whipped her around so quickly that her feet came up off of the ground. Ali felt her back slam up against the wall, Elliott up against her, and then she heard a loud popping noise. When she turned to see where the noise came from she saw a masked figure with a gun standing in the doorway.

“You…” Ali hissed.

She didn’t care about the gun. All she cared about was killing _A_. She shoved Elliott away from her, looking at him long enough to register that he wasn’t hurt. Before she could lunge at _A_ , the person took a step backwards out of the room. Ali was right behind them, but the second she got to the doorway, a loud rattling noise reverberated off of the walls and a barred metal door came crashing to the ground from an opening in the ceiling, clinking against the floor and sealing Ali and Elliott in the room.

The bars didn’t stop Ali from throwing her arms out to try and grab _A_ by the throat. She was inches shy of being able to strangle the bitch. She threw her body up against the makeshift cage door, trying to stretch just a little further. She was swiping at A’s face with one hand, trying to grab the mask. She reached for the gun with her other hand. _A_ lowered the gun and took a step back.

“What did you do to Emily?” Ali snarled.

There was no response. _A_ just stood there, motionless, staring at her. Teasing her. Taunting her. Ali could almost feel the smug grin radiating underneath the mask.

“Ali, get away from the door.” Elliott huffed from the corner.

“The second I get out of here, you are _dead_. Do you hear me?” Ali snapped at the masked figure.

Still no response. _A_ ’s body language was indifferent, clearly impervious to Ali’s threats. That only enraged her more. She heard Elliott calling to her from behind her again, telling her to step away from the maniac with the gun, but she didn’t listen.

“You took everything from me.” Ali angrily slapped her palms against the bars. “You took _everything_.” Her voice went down an octave, a dangerous tone in her throat. “I’m going to kill you for what you did to her.”

 _A_ finally moved, the free hand not gripping the gun slowly moving up towards the mask.

“In the words of your dearly departed sister,” A feminine voice spoke through the thin fabric of the mask. She reached up and pulled the ski mask off, revealing a familiar face, “Don’t be so dramatic, Ali.”

“Sara?” Ali stared in disbelief. “But you…you’re dead.”

Ali should have been relieved to see her alive, because it meant she could prove she wasn’t a killer. But instead all she wanted to do was prove Tanner right and kill Sara right now.

“Allegedly.” Sara rolled her eyes. “You know as well as I do how easily the cops will buy a fake out death in this town. You should be proud of me. I learned from the best.” She smiled, lifting her brow in a cheeky way that made Ali want to rip her lips off of her face. “All I needed was a couple of pints of my blood, a strategically placed murder weapon, and a hell of an acting performance for the cameras.”

“But why?”

“It’s complicated.” She shrugged.

“Well _uncomplicate_ it.” Ali threatened. Her fingers were curled around the bars so tight that her injured knuckles were oozing again. “Why did you do this?” Ali asked again. “And don’t tell me because of Charlotte, because if you really cared about my sister as much as you say you did you never would have hurt me like this.”

“You don’t look hurt to me.” Sara looked her over.

“You know what I mean.” Ali’s hands shook the bars. “Everything you did to Emily…”

“ _That_ I do feel bad about.” She pressed her lips together in thought. “But that’s not on me.” Her eyes slowly drifted to the side.

“Don’t you _dare_ blame me for this.” It was one thing that Ali was blaming herself. She wasn’t about to let Sara make her feel worse.

“You just _had_ to meddle. You just couldn’t stand not being part of the show, could you?” Sara sounded frustrated.

“I was trying to protect her!” Ali yelled.

“Well, you did a bang up job of that.” Sara snorted sarcastically.

“You ripped me away from her!” Ali would have bullied her way in to the operating room to stay by Emily’s side the whole time if Sara hadn’t made her look guilty of murder. “How could you do this to her? To her _mom_? They gave you a place to stay. They took care of you back in high school. It was always a game to you, but not to them. They _cared_ about you.” Ali glared at her.

“And I cared about them, too.”

“Then WHY?” Ali shouted, her voice echoing in the halls. “Why her? What did she ever do to deserve this?”

“What do any of us do to deserve anything?” Sara sighed.

“Did you kill her?” Ali’s throat tightened. “Did you kill Emily?”

“Oh, Ali.” She shook her head with a dark laugh. “Some things are worse than death.”

Ali’s heart fluttered. That wasn’t a solid answer. It made her feel hopeless and hopeful at the same time.

“What did you do to her?” Ali’s face flushed in rage. She slammed her palms against the bars again. “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

“Settle down, or I’ll have to get the cattle prod,” Sara said in a teasing voice. “Something tells me you wouldn’t do as well as Emily in the endurance department there. She took it like a real champ back then, but uh, you already knew that.” Her fingers motioned towards the busted up television.

“You’re insane.” Ali spit angrily through her teeth.

“Duh. Clearly.”

“We can get you help.” Elliott tried to reason with Sara.

Ali spun around, stunned and outraged that he would even consider giving Sara an option other than a horrible heinous death.

“Oh, is that so, Doctor Monk?” Sara asked in a patronizing tone.

“Charlotte was sick. She got better. You could, too.” Elliott suggested.

“I don’t recall asking you for your opinion.” Sara turned the gun on him. “This is a private conversation, so just…sit there like a good little boy and be quiet.”

“It’s not too late to turn yourself in. If you just let us go we won’t hurt you.” Elliott tried to defuse the situation.

“The hell we won’t.” Ali growled. She was going to claw Sara’s eyes out and feed them to her the second she got free. “I am not going to let you get away with this.”

“I already have.” Sara shrugged. “People will assume you got the news about Emily and went off the deep end. That, plus being wanted for murder? The cops will think you took off. You already have a history of running. Won’t be that big of a leap.”

“So you’re just going to kill us then? Is that it?” Ali asked.

“I’m not going to kill you, Alison.” She looked at her like it was the dumbest thing Ali had ever said.

“You can’t keep us locked up here.” Elliott frowned. “People will come looking for us.”

“I’m only going to tell you _one_ more time, be quiet.” Sara ordered.

“Listen to me, don’t do this. We can figure this out. We can…”

Sara raised the gun, and without batting an eye she pulled the trigger. He jumped out of the way, but the bullet caught him in the arm, a bright red gash lining his bicep.

“What the hell? I was just trying to help!” Elliott exclaimed, pushing himself off of the floor. “Why did you do that?”

“You were getting on my nerves,” Sara said. There was a distant noise down the hallway. She glanced back, peering at something over her shoulder. “You both stay put. I’ve got something I’ve got to take care of.”

“Oh, sure, we’ll just wait right here.” Elliott snarked back as she walked off. He looked at Ali in disbelief. “She shot me.” Elliott looked at the gash on his arm. “That bitch shot me.”

“Don’t be such a baby. It’s just a graze.” He’d become so annoyingly whiny that she would have shot him herself if she had a gun, right after she put a bullet in between Sara’s eyes, of course. “Do you have your phone?”

“If I did don’t you think I’d be calling for help right now?” Elliott replied in a snide tone.

He seemed pissed that he was in this situation. He was probably blaming Ali. Nothing new there. She was used to being blamed for things.

“Don’t get snippy with me. I tried to leave you back at the hospital. You should have just given me your keys.”

“Yeah, because you’ve clearly got a handle on this situation all by yourself,” he replied bitingly.

“You’re a real dick sometimes.” Ali kicked at the wall.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is the fact that I just took a bullet for you not enough for you?” He snapped.

“I didn’t see her aiming at me that time.” Ali chided.

She kicked at the wall again. Elliott got a strange look on his face.

“What?” Ali asked, still seething. “You going to lecture me about the ramifications of destruction of property?”

“Do that again.” Elliott glanced at the wall.

Ali threw her foot against the wall again. Elliott’s eyes brightened. Ali could see that he had an idea in his head. He walked over to where Ali was standing. He tapped on the wall in several places. He glanced at the metal door that had been released from the ceiling. He observed the top of the gate.

“It’s hollow.” He ran his fingers along the frame. “Whoever made this had to leave room for this trap door. There have to be cracks in the foundation of this wall somewhere.”

He turned back towards the busted TV screen. He gripped the edges and ripped it off of the wall, exposing a hole with wires disappearing into the wall. Ali watched in surprise. Maybe he wasn’t completely useless after all. There was a thin layer of cement covering the wall behind where the screen had been, but when he peered through the hole he could see sheetrock.

“Hand me that pipe.” He pointed to the metal rail he’d dropped when they’d walked into the room.

Ali gave him the pipe and he shoved it into the wall, his hand twisting around as he tapped until he found what he was looking for.

“There.” He drew his arm out of the wall and pointed to a spot a few feet off of the ground.

He drew the pipe back and slammed it against the wall. Sheetrock went crumbling to the floor. Ali immediately joined him in his efforts. She knew they sounded like a construction crew, but she was hoping that Sara would just think she was throwing a tantrum. After a few minutes, they stopped. Ali could see the way out. She could see her way to killing Sara. She squeezed through the hole they’d created. She took off down the hallway, Elliott right behind her.

Ali was so focused on finding Sara that she almost ran right past another makeshift cell without noticing it. She skidded to a stop when she heard a weak groan. She quickly backtracked and looked through the iron bars. There was a body slumped against the ground. She couldn’t see his face, but she knew who it was immediately.

“Toby?” Ali’s eyes widened in shock.

He groaned again and rolled over, his half-opened eyes glancing up. His face was covered in blood. He slowly sat up.

“Alison?” He rubbed his head, blinking slowly.

Elliott rushed up behind her and his jaw dropped when he saw Toby. He looked beyond relieved. Ali was convinced that it was because Toby was more of a man than Elliott could ever claim to be.

When Toby sat up they saw that he had a new laceration on his head, bigger and angrier than the gash he had on his head from the crash. His nose was swollen and he had dried blood streaking down the left side of his face. He pushed himself to stand up. He was clearly woozy.

“I’ll see if I can find something to get past this door.” Elliott started rifling through the hallway.

“What are you doing here?” Ali put her hands against the bars, looking for a way to get him out.

“I don’t know.” He staggered forward. “The last thing I remember was going over to an EMT after she dropped a bunch of supplies outside her rig. I was going to offer to help her, but when she turned around…” He shook his head and ran his fingers over the new gouge in his head and flinched. “It was…I mean, I think it was…” He looked at Ali in uncertainty, like he wasn’t sure what he’d seen.

Ali was quickly putting it all together.

“Sara Harvey.” Ali nodded. “She’s here. She’s _A_.”

“Oh, good. At least I’m not delusional.”

“No, but you probably have a hell of a concussion. What happened?”

“She cold-cocked me with a portable oxygen tank. I think she threw a bag over my head at some point. When I came to, we were moving. I was in and out. I thought I heard her talking to someone. She kept saying ‘It’s not going to work. It’s not going to work’ and then I heard something beeping and then I passed out again.”

“Did you see Emily?” Ali asked hopefully. “Hear her? Anything?”

Toby’s face dropped. He looked like he’d been slapped across the face. He looked at the floor, unsure of how to answer.

“Ali,” he said, his tone soft, not sure how to proceed. He nearly bit through his tongue. He’d barely processed it, let alone was he ready to admit it. “Emily died. It was after the surgery. Her heart gave out.”

Not knowing that she already knew, he expected her to fall apart. Instead she just shook her head.

“No, I know what the doctor said, but I just…I can’t believe that.”

Elliott walked up beside her with an old crowbar. He leaned down and looked at where the door sealed into the ground, trying to find a gap to slip it in.

“I can,” Toby said with a sad sigh. “Look, if Sara is _A_ , she may have had a reason to kill Em.”

“What do you mean?”

“Emily left a video on my phone, and if _A_ …Sara, if she saw it, if she tapped my phone or something…or heard her making the video…” He stuttered, stumbling over his words, “…Emily confessed to killing Charlotte, and she even took the heat for killing Sara.”

“What?” Ali snapped. If Emily was alive, Ali was going to kill her. She’d specifically told Emily not to do that. “When?”

“I guess before they took her in to surgery. I found it an hour or so later.”

He rubbed his throbbing head, Emily’s words still ringing in his ears. She’d left more than a confession on his phone. She’d left her signature Emily mark for all of them. She’d left her legacy, which was ironically both hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. He’d expected her first words to be something poignant and philosophical. Instead, it was,

 _“God, I need concealer and a whole lot of under-eye cream. This is not a flattering look.”_ She’d muttered, staring at the camera before narrowing her eyes in realization. _“Oh, crap, the red light is on. I am clearly recording…”_

He’d watched as a bashful smile crept across her face. She’d looked twelve years old again with that smile.

_“Hey, guys. So, first things first, if I’m dead please don’t stick me in the ground. Out of all the graves we’ve had to be subjected to, I don’t want to add to that. If I die, throw me on a pyre like a pig at a luau.”_

He’d cringed and then laughed.

 _“I was a hot mess in life. Might as well be one in death, too.”_ She’d said with a weak grin. _“And don’t cry. We’ve had enough of that for a lifetime. At this point it’s a waste of mascara. It just…runs, and it ruins clothing. Speaking of, Hanna, you better mention my name when you win the fashion icon award in Hollywood, because we both know you’re going to end up dressing celebrities on the red carpet.”_

She’d smiled and looked away, her thoughts clearly wandering to some star-studded fashion event. After a few seconds, she’d looked back at the camera.

 _“And while Hanna is dressing the world, Spence, I hope you’re saving it. I’m counting on you to keep our government from self-destructing. God knows without you they’d be pushing every large red button that says ‘do not push’.”_ She’d rolled her eyes. _“And Aria, I know that one day your words are going to reach millions. And if your first book isn’t dedicated to us then I will haunt the crap out of you. All three of you are going to do great things. Because that’s what you do. That’s who you are. You’re great. You inspire.”_

She’d sighed and looked away from the camera again, glancing at the clock on the wall before continuing,

 _“Caleb, Ezra, Toby…you’ve been more than just the guys dating my best friends. You’ve been my family, too. I’m counting on you to keep my girls out of trouble. Take care of them. And girls, let them. Let them take care of you. Don’t be stingy in love. You may think that you have plenty of time. But take it from me, one day you’ll wake up and that time will be gone. You shouldn’t ever put things off when you’re lucky enough to have everything you’ve ever wanted right in front of you.”_ She’d paused. _“Ali, I’m sorry we didn’t have more time. But hey, the time we had…I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I meant every word I said in that message.”_

There had been another pause, a lull of activity as she pondered something in thought.

_“You all mean so much to me. You don’t go through all the crap we went through and not become a family. Which brings me to this next part. Since we’re family and I love you, I want you to let me go down for what happened to Charlotte and Sara.”_

Toby had nearly dropped the phone when he’d heard that. There had been a long pause before she’d continued,

 _“Caleb, you know what do to. Edit what you need to edit.”_ She’d taken a breath, stopping long enough to create a gap between what she was saying so the video would be easier for Caleb to cut and splice, _“I am responsible for the death of Charlotte DiLaurentis. I killed her. I take full accountability for what happened to her. Sara Harvey found out the truth, and I couldn’t let her talk. To cover up what I did to Charlotte I had no choice but to kill Sara Harvey, too. I acted alone in both instances.”_ She’d tried to suck in another breath, but he’d been able to see it was harder for her to breathe this time. _“Ali, you can stop cursing my name. If I’m dead, it doesn’t matter. And if I’m not, well, you’ll probably kill me. So…same outcome.”_

She’d then gone into detail about the evidence, making up lies about the glove in Ali’s house disappearing because it was evidence that had her fingerprints on it and that she’d called Charlotte from _The Radley_ and the missing video footage had her sneaking out. The confession was everything Tanner would need to close the case. And while Emily didn’t know about the murder weapon that had been used to allegedly kill Sara, her confession would be believable enough for the police to assume that she had taken the knife from Ali’s house. She was staying with Ali, after all.

Toby explained everything to Ali. Ali didn’t know what to say at first.

“Sara clearly knows she was lying,” Toby said. “But she probably figured that Emily was lying about killing Charlotte to protect the real killer…”

“Me.” Ali sighed. Emily knew that Ali wasn’t guilty. Sara probably suspected the opposite. And when Sara had heard Emily’s confession she had probably assumed that Ali was the person who killed Charlotte. “She thinks Emily is covering for me. Sara went after her to punish me.” She bit the inside of her cheek. She peered down the hallway and then looked back at Toby. “I can’t let her get away.”

“Go. I’ll figure this out.” Elliott stood up, crowbar still in hand. He felt around the door for weak spots.

“Are you out of your mind?” Toby frowned. “We can’t let her go up against Sara alone.”

“Like we can stop her?” Elliott scoffed. He’d already figured out Ali’s agenda and he knew that nothing he said or did was going to keep her from doing what she wanted.

Toby opened his mouth to argue, but he couldn’t dispute that. The look on Ali’s face told Toby that Elliott was right.

“That’s a good point.” Toby nodded.

“We’ll catch up to you,” Elliott said. Ali nodded and turned to walk down the hallway. “Hey, be careful.” Elliott warned her. “For all we know that Alexander Drake guy is here with her.”

A weird sensation coursed through Ali’s body. She turned to face Elliott, a confused look on her face.

“How did you know about that?”

“Back in the cell when we were trying to get out you said there was someone else involved.” His voice sounded different, lighter.

“I never told you his name.” Ali’s heart sped up in her chest.

Alarm bells were ringing in her head. Every survival instinct she had was in overdrive. Something was very wrong. Toby’s face flashed in realization. He reached through the bars to try and grab Elliott, but he was seconds too late. Elliott lunged forward, grabbing Ali’s arm, wrenching it behind her back. Once he had her in his grasp he pressed the crowbar firmly across her neck, holding it against her windpipe to keep her in place.

“You should have just gone after her, Ali.” He shook his head and sighed, a hint of a European accent slipping out.

Ali felt him press his body against her back with force, tightening the crowbar around her neck, making breathing incredibly difficult.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ali huffed out through a cough.

“Get off of her!” Toby yelled angrily, his hands shaking the bars that were containing him.

He had so many thoughts running through his mind. How he hadn’t been able to protect Emily from _A_ after the wreck. How he’d promised Ali that they would get the person responsible for all of their pain. How he’d promised Emily that he would take care of Ali. He had to follow through. He couldn’t lose Ali, too.

Ali struggled against Elliott’s weight, but he was too strong for her to break free. Toby grabbed the cell door.

“Let her go! I swear to God if you hurt her…”

“You’ll what? Scold me to death?” Elliott snorted a laugh. “Scream all you want. There’s no one around to hear it.”

Elliott took a step back, taking Ali with him. His grip was so strong that he was basically holding her off of the ground. Ali threw her hands back, trying to scratch at his face, but he dodged her fingers and roughly jerked her backwards, dragging her down the hallway with him. Ali reached up, desperately trying to pry the crowbar away from her neck, but her efforts were useless. Toby kicked and tugged at the door, screaming obscenities at Elliott as he watched them disappear around a corner.

Ali kicked her feet and squirmed to try and get away, but he was freakishly strong. He pulled her through hallway after hallway, going through so many twists and turns that Ali felt like she was a rat in a maze. She wanted to reach out and grab the corners that were jutting out, but she was losing feeling in her arms. She had just enough oxygen to stay awake, but everything she was seeing was warped, like she was falling through a spinning funhouse room full of eye teasers that made you feel like you were moving when you were really standing completely still. She had almost started to pass out when she felt Elliott stop dragging her. He roughly spun her around and threw her against a wall. Ali slid to the floor, coughing, her head throbbing from the lack of air.

She looked up at Elliott and she barely recognized the man standing over her. Everything was different about him. His posture. His eyes. His face. His grin. His sadistic smile made her feel cold inside. He was not the same man she’d spilled her heart out to about her sister. She was looking at a complete stranger. She was looking at _A_.

“You son of a bitch.” Her voice came out in choked gasps as she tried to catch her breath. “It’s you isn’t it?” Ali’s voice caught in her throat. “You’re Alexander Drake.”

It didn’t matter that the cops said he was dead. It didn’t matter that he went by the name ‘Elliott’. It didn’t matter that he spent his days counseling people, living a lie. She knew exactly who he was. How had she been so blind to it? He had been right here in front of her the whole time.

Elliott yanked her up off of the ground with such force that her feet lost contact with the floor for a few seconds. He pushed her against the wall, using his body to keep her in place. She stood frozen for a minute, trying to observe where they were, trying to form an escape plan.

“Don’t even think about it, Alison.” He saw what was running through her mind. “You and I are _long_ overdue for a therapy session.” He grinned, all teeth.

He spun her away from the wall, his arm against her throat, threatening to cut off her air again. He pushed her to walk forward, towards a large doorway covered with a plastic strip door. It looked like she was being led into a slaughterhouse.

“You…” Ali was still trying to register the betrayal, “…you did all of this? You were in the dollhouse with Charlotte and Sara?”

“Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home,” he said cynically, his voice full of acid.

Ali clenched her jaw. How could she have been so wrong about him? She’d been the queen of seeing through people in high school. She’d always been able to spot a liar a mile away. But Elliott had been under her nose this whole time. He had been working with Sara. He had been torturing them for years.

Something dawned on Ali. Something that Sara had said when she was taunting Ali about Emily. She’d told Ali that what happened to Emily “was not on her”. At first Ali thought Sara was implying that Ali was to blame. But now she realized that Elliott had been the mastermind behind going after Emily. He’d had the perfect vantage point. He was in Ali’s inner circle. It hit her that with Elliott’s knowledge in medicine he would be able to kill someone and make it look like natural causes.

“You killed her, didn’t you?” Her voice came out a whisper.

She heard Elliott laughing, his front still pressed firmly against her back, his arm wrapped around her throat.

“Here’s where the fun _really_ starts.” He shoved her roughly through the plastic strip door.

The room was wall to wall tile, old blood stains and grout splattered all over them. He walked Ali towards a large plexiglass window, something that looked like an observation area. He stopped when they reached the window. Ali sucked in a surprised cry.

“She’s not dead.” He tapped the glass, like he was a sadistic child tormenting a fish in a bowl. “Not yet anyway.”

In the center of the room there was a hospital gurney. Emily was in it, eyes closed. She was hooked up to several machines. She looked pale and weak, no doubt being deprived of the care and medications she needed.

But she was still breathing. She was alive.


	34. The Silent Killer

The gurney’s wheels wiggled unevenly and squeaked against the floor as it flew down the hallway.

“We lost her pulse. She’s crashing.”

They turned a sharp corner, one of the wheels leaving a scuff against the ground.

“She’s not going to make it…”

Spencer quickly slid out of the way of the EMTs and doctors as they rushed by with an older woman on a cot. After they disappeared around a corner, she turned and walked in the opposite direction. She walked into the waiting room where Aria and Hanna were sitting next to each other. Aria was staring off into the distance, her face stained with tears. She was chewing on her lip. Hanna had her head back against the wall, an exhausted expression on her face. They saw Spencer coming.

“Anything?” Aria asked hopefully.

Spencer shook her head.

“Should we check again?” Hanna asked.

“It’s probably a waste of time.” Spencer replied. “I doubt she’s even still here.”

“How do you know?” Aria questioned.

“Because nothing is on fire and the hospital is still standing.”

“Did you look in the chapel?” Hanna asked. “Maybe she’s back there going all one-woman demolition crew on the pulpit again...making Jesus sad or whatever.”

“I’ve looked everywhere,” Spencer sighed. Well, everywhere that wasn’t restricted. “She’s not answering my texts. And her phone is still going straight to voicemail.”

“She probably threw it against a wall in a fit of rage,” Hanna muttered, her voice hoarse from crying. She glanced at her own phone, considering doing the same. “If _A_ hadn’t crashed that truck into Toby’s cruiser…”

“Yeah, well, _A_ did. And now Emily is dead.” Spencer snapped, surprising her friends with her heated response. “And Ali is God knows where going off the deep end and we’re just running around like a bunch of ants on a hill about to be stomped on.”

“We’ve already been stomped on,” Hanna sniffled, tears glistening in her eyes.

Aria rubbed Hanna’s arm to try and comfort her. It didn’t help much.

“I’m so done with this.” Spencer ranted. “I’m done with these threats. I’m done with losing people. I am done _feeling_ like this. I have half a mind to just get in my car and drive until I hit Canada. Hide out among the moose, farm the legal hash. And just become one of those mountain people somewhere _A_ can never find me.”

“What about Ali? We can’t leave her.” Aria frowned.

“She clearly doesn’t want our help right now.” Spencer glanced around the waiting room. “If she did she’d at least return a freaking text message. Instead she’s gone all Houdini on us. Just like high school.”

“Spencer!” Aria looked at her in surprise.

Spencer regretted it the minute she’d said it. She knew she was out of line. She knew how much Ali was hurting. She’d seen how much pain Ali was in. The look Ali had on her face in the holding room at the police precinct would haunt Spencer forever.

_“She can’t die alone.”_

The words sent a shiver down Spencer's spine. Ali had looked so small and helpless when she’d whimpered about losing Emily. Spencer had never seen her like that. And now Ali was the one alone. Spencer knew that Ali’s instincts were to pull away and deal with things by herself. Spencer shook her head, guilt washing over her for even thinking that Ali didn’t need them. She hadn’t meant it. She was just upset. She looked at her friends apologetically.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer sighed. “I’m just…I haven’t slept since we got back to this hellhole. And now, with Emily…I…I don’t know. I don’t know how to handle this.” She sat down next to her friends and heaved out a heavy breath. “I don’t know if I _can_ handle this.” She paused thoughtfully. “My whole life I’ve been a problem-solver. It’s what I do. It’s my job. I _fix_ things. But I can’t fix this. I can’t…” Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “I can’t bring her back. I can’t take care of Ali for her. I can’t do _anything_.” She angrily wiped her tears away and groaned. Emily had asked her to do one thing. One thing. Take care of the girls. And Spencer felt like she was letting her down. “I always thought she’d be here. Even when we left here and we were all off doing our own thing, she was still there.” She swallowed hard and leaned forward in her chair. “What are we supposed to do now?”

Hanna took Spencer’s hand. Aria gently rubbed her back. They soothed her until she calmed down. Spencer smiled halfheartedly at them, thankful to have them.

“I didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that,” Spencer said, remorse written all over her face.

“It’s okay.” Aria assured her. “We’re all upset. I mean, losing Em…it’s…” She sighed and shook her head.

“It doesn’t feel real.” Hanna finished for her. “None of this feels real.”

“Well, it is,” Spencer muttered.

“Let’s just concentrate on finding Ali. We’ll deal with everything else as it comes,” Aria said softly.

Spencer and Hanna nodded in agreement.

“Where would she go?” Hanna asked.

“Maybe Elliott took her home,” Aria said.

“So, let’s start there.” Spencer suggested. “I do not like the idea of Doctor Doom being alone with her. Let’s not forgot that a few short hours ago Ali was using him as practice for her boxing skills.”

“You don’t think he could really be in on this, do you?” Aria asked nervously. “I mean, he seemed pretty stunned when he was giving Ali the news.”

“I don’t know what to think at this point.” Spencer frowned. “Did the guys get a bead on _A_?”

“Caleb said both places were a bust. They found traces of what looked like a hide-out at the second location, but it had been completely stripped and cleaned out. _A_ must have figured out we were on to them. Mona is expanding the search to look for other locations,” Hanna said. “She told the boys to let her handle it. She figured they were needed here.”

Hanna looked down at the ground, grateful for Mona’s sympathy and everything she was doing for them. She definitely needed Caleb. But she also needed her best friend back, and that’s not something Caleb could give her.

“Come on.” Spencer stood up, pulling her keys out of her pocket.

“You going to be okay to drive?” Aria asked.

“I mean, I have to be, right?”

They left the hospital in search of Ali, unsure of whether Ali had truly taken off to be alone with her grief or if something more had happened. Other than the photos of Emily in the recovery room, Elliott and Sara had only sent their taunts to Ali. She was the one they were truly after. They knew it would be easy to alienate her from her friends, especially when she was irrationally upset. Elliott had known Ali for years, and Sara had been carefully watching Ali from the shadows ever since she’d returned to Rosewood. They knew that by taunting her about Emily’s death, Ali would completely lose it. Their plan had fallen into place perfectly.

It baffled Ali how the man who had been so kind and so sympathetic not only to her, but to Charlotte, and to all of his patients, could be the same man who was responsible for all of the pain in her life. Staring at the void behind his eyes she was now realizing that Elliott could turn it on and off like no other. Her inner voice had tried to warn her about him earlier. She’d even gone at him fists swinging. Deep down, she’d known the truth, but she was in such a state of shock that her body and brain shut down and all she could think about was Emily. Then, when she’d gotten those texts from _A_ when Elliott was with her she’d started to doubt herself entirely.

As she stood at the observation window, Elliott’s arm wrapped tightly around her neck, she thought about how dumb she had been. She had walked right in to his trap.

“Getting her out was so easy,” Elliott explained. “All Sara had to do was play the role of a temp nurse while I forged some paperwork, and voilà, instant death.”

As angry as Ali was, she also felt a wave of relief rolling over her. She could hear the heart monitor through the communication system next to the glass window. Emily was still alive. She still had a chance to save her. She just had to figure out how.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Elliott leaned forward, his breath tickling her ear, making her squirm. “You’d be dead before you got to her side.”

“Why are you doing this?” Ali wheezed out a cough.

“Why do we do anything?” Elliott asked. “Love.” He glanced at Emily. “You, of all people, can certainly understand the lengths we go to for the people we love.” He muttered something angrily under his breath and then swore. “Charlotte was all I had.”

“This won’t bring her back.” Ali tried to reason with him, even though she knew it was a lost cause.

“You had one job that night, Alison.” He jerked her back roughly. “You were supposed to keep her safe!”

“I _didn’t_ kill my sister!”

“I don’t believe you.” He strengthened his hold on her throat.

“It’s the truth!” Ali’s voice came out strained.

“When have you _ever_ told the truth about anything?”

“I loved Charlotte.” Though, she hated herself for loving her. She still didn’t understand why she loved her after everything Charlotte had done. Guilt? Some strange sense of family loyalty, maybe? “I never would have hurt her.”

“Not even to protect Emily?” Elliott’s free hand motioned to Emily in the gurney. “You knew Emily and the others were at the hotel that night. After you followed Charlotte there…”

“I didn’t know she was there!” Ali argued. She tried to elbow him in the ribs, but he grabbed her wrist and twisted it roughly. She cried out.

She heard Emily’s heart monitor pick up speed and she panicked. She knew that Sara and Elliott were not taking proper care of her, and she knew that unless she got Emily back to the hospital she was going to actually lose her. She was torn between her desire to strangle Elliott and her urge to rush to Emily’s side. She tried to pull away from Elliott again. All she wanted to do was hold Emily. Elliott pushed his arm against her windpipe roughly. His other hand shot out towards a tray table. He grabbed a scalpel and pressed the tip of the blade into her back.

“Uh uh. You can look, but you can’t touch,” Elliott said with a hard laugh.

“Elliott, please…” She was begging before she realized what she was doing. “She needs to be in the hospital. You can’t keep her here. She’ll die.”

“That’s the whole point, Alison.” He spit her name with venom in his tone. “You really think I would have done it where you couldn’t see?” He slipped the hand with the scalpel over her neck and shifted his other hand to the back of her head, grabbing her by the hair. Ali yelped out in surprise. “I want you to watch the life drain from her body.” He grinned. She could see his reflection in the glass. He looked demented. “Seeing your face at the hospital was just the icing on the cake for me. It gave me a preview of what I can look forward to when I really finish the job.”

“Just let her go. She’s been through too much to die like this. Just…let her live. Take me instead. I’m the one you really want, right? You have me. You can do whatever you want to me. Just stop hurting her.”

“Don’t you get it? I only hurt her to hurt _you_.” Elliott whipped Ali around to face him, pressing the scalpel blade against her neck. “Charlotte always hated how close you were to Emily. Everything that happened to her…” He nodded his head towards Emily, “…in that dollhouse was because of _you_. Everything that’s happening now is because of you.”

Ali felt a pang of guilt, because she knew there was a grain of truth to it. She’d always believed that everything that had happened to her friends had been her fault. Emily had been adamant about telling her that wasn’t the case. But she still felt a sense of responsibility for everything that went wrong in their lives. She probably always would.

“Why? What did I ever do to you?”

“Because you had _everything_ and she had _nothing_!” He yelled. “Nothing but me. I was there for her when she had no one else.” His gaze drifted off for a brief second. He almost looked like he was in pain. “You were always the golden child. The favorite. The beautiful little girl with all of mommy and daddy’s love. And what did Charlotte get? Cast aside. Thrown into a nuthouse. Daddy’s hidden shame and mommy’s dirty little secret. Meanwhile, you were vacationing in the Poconos and living the perfect little family dream.”

“You have _no idea_ what my life has been like.” Ali felt a growl building up in her throat.

When she thought about her childhood she thought about how she had been taught to act normal, cocky even, even if everything was falling apart. To her mother, appearances were everything. She and Jason had been groomed to be the picture perfect Stepford family. The reality was that behind closed doors her father and brother were constantly at each other’s throats, her mother was manipulating her and teaching her how to lie to her father, and her parents were ripping in to one another. Her family didn’t know love. All her family knew was control.

“Oh, I know _everything_ about you.” Elliott disagreed. “Charlotte was obsessed with you. Unnaturally so. She wanted everything you had. All she ever wanted was her family. Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to be on the outside looking in, never belonging?”

“If I had known, I would have been there for her!” Ali argued. “I _was_ there for her. I stayed in Rosewood for her. I was at Welby every single day. You know that!”

She was really pissed at herself for not sniffing out Elliott the day she met him at Welby. He had played the role so well. He had seemed so normal. So charming. And smart. Ali wanted to smack herself. He checked all the boxes for a complete sociopath, except for the fact that he seemed to love Charlotte enough to do all of this for her. Then again, maybe that was just his excuse for doing this. She cursed herself in thought. For her, hindsight was less like 20-20 and more like a giant bitch-slap across the face with rhinestone glasses.

“It was because everything your family put her through that she ended up there in the first place.”

“No, she ended up there because she spent her free time setting innocent people up for murder and you know, kidnapping my friends.” Ali snapped.

“You and your little friends deserved everything you got.” Elliott hissed back.

“No one deserves what you put us thorough. You tortured us! You ruined our lives!”

“You ruined hers!” Elliott screamed angrily. “You have no idea what it did to her being in that place.”

“Welby helped her. She got better. You said so yourself.”

“I’m not talking about Welby. I’m talking about Radley.”

“You…were in Radley?” She’d heard him say it, but she’d yet to process the words. “You knew her for that long?”

“She turned out to be the best thing that happened to me during my internship there.” He smiled, a weird dreamy grin that had a dark undertone.

“I would have guessed that you were a mental patient.” Ali smarted back under her breath.

Thankfully, Elliott was narcissistic enough that he hadn’t heard what she’d said because he was still talking about himself.

“Funny thing is, I actually met her outside of Radley, at my mate’s frat party. We talked all night long. After we met I knew I had to see more of her, but she’d seemingly just disappeared.” He sniggered. “Guess that runs in the family.”

Ali glared at him. She did not appreciate the barb.

“I did some searching, and imagine my surprise when I found out the little rebel was a Radley resident. I went to visit her…”

“And that wasn’t a giant red flag?” Ali muttered.

“She wasn’t crazy. She didn’t belong there.”

“I meant a red flag for her.”

“Watch it.” Elliott growled out.

“You had some creepy perverse obsession for some girl you didn’t even know…”

“I _knew_ her. I knew her the minute we met. I knew she was special. She told me everything when I went to see her in Radley. Everything. Being with her helped me choose psychiatry as a specialty in med school.”

That fit. The insane person guiding mental patients. How ironic. What better way to appear sane than to make everyone around you seem crazy? She fought the urge to ask him if his mommy didn’t love him enough as a child. She knew Emily’s life was in his hands and she wasn’t willing to risk it.

“There’s something fascinating about the way the human brain operates. I wanted to find out what made such a beautiful brilliant mind like Charlotte’s tick. And then I realized…to truly understand the psyche, you must study it. So that’s what I did. And do you want to know what I found out?” He leaned forward, hovering the scalpel blade over her face and stopping at her eye, pointing it directly towards the center of her pupil. Ali couldn’t help but flinch and pull back. “It all comes down to you. You’re the whole reason your parents threw Charlotte away like garbage. Everything was all about little Alison and protecting their precious baby girl. Jason and Charlotte were just consolation prizes next to you.”

He dropped the blade back to her throat.

“So your solution was to just make my life a living hell? Hurt everyone I love?” Ali growled.

“How far would you go for the girl that you love?” Elliott motioned towards Emily. “There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for Charlotte.”

“I would never hurt people the way you all did.” Ali disagreed.

“You let Emily, and the rest of the world, believe you were dead. You let Charlotte believe she’d killed you. You destroyed lives. So yeah, I helped her play the game. I helped her get in and out of Radley. I helped her plan ways to exact her revenge. I even killed dear old mommy when she found out what we were up to.”

Ali’s body suddenly went cold. She’d received a video back in high school of her mother being buried. It still haunted her dreams.

“You…” Ali’s face flashed in a mixture of rage and grief. “You killed my mother?”

“Guilty.” He smiled. “Charlotte never knew. She loved your mother, though I’ll never understand why. The woman was despicable.”

“Don’t you EVER talk about my mother!” She tried to pry her hand out of Elliott’s grasp so she could hit him, but he shoved her against the window, the back of her head smacking it so hard that she saw stars.

“If you don’t shut up you’re going to end up exactly like her.” Elliott threatened, shoving the scalpel into her pectoral muscle just deep enough to make her shriek in surprise.

The noise echoed loudly in the room where Emily was being kept. Emily flinched and then jerked in her unconsciousness. The machines monitoring her made a weird noise. Ali looked over her shoulder. Then she looked at Elliott again, an angry flare in her eyes.

“Look at that. She doesn’t like hearing you cry. I get to hurt two for the price of one.” He laughed.

“Stop it.” Ali cried. She could see that Emily was unsettled and that cut her deeper than any scalpel blade could.

“Oh, relax. She’ll settle down.” Elliott shrugged like Emily’s suffering was no big deal. “The drugs knocked her for a loop. She probably went on one hell of a trip.” He clicked his tongue loudly in his mouth. “I wish I could have seen the look on her face when Sara waltzed in there, back from the dead. I heard it was priceless.” He glanced at Emily, then shoved Ali to face the window again. “Sara told me she cried out for you when she thought she was dying. Did you know that?” He asked, almost joyously.

Ali thought about the video she’d been sent of Emily struggling against whatever drugs had been pumped into her system, the image of her in pain enraging Ali. She yanked her fist away from Elliott and this time when she threw her arm back her elbow made contact with his ribs. It barely fazed him. He pushed her face into the glass and snarled at her.

“Careful, Ali.” He warned. “It’s not just your life at stake here. If you pull something like that again I’ll make sure she _really_ suffers.”

The machines monitoring Emily were still uneasy, which made Ali uneasy. She had to get Emily out of here. Her brain was in overdrive trying to figure out what to do.

“You’ve put her through hell.” Ali snarled.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Elliott loosened his grip on Ali just long enough to reach for a drawer on a stand next to the observation window. He kept the scalpel firmly against her back. “Why do you think Emily has only gotten _worse_ since she’s been back in town?”

He turned Ali towards him again. Ali watched as he reached into the drawer and pulled out a clear bag filled with prescription bottles and injectable medications. Ali recognized them immediately. They were Emily’s medications.

“Elliott, what did you do?” Her stomach churned. She started to feel dizzy.

“What do you think?” He asked. “Being a doctor has its perks. I knew about her heart problems before she even came back to town. I like to keep a very close eye on all of you. It doesn’t matter how far you girls run, I have always known how to track you down.”

“You knew? You knew this whole time?” Ali stared at him in shock.

“I did more than just observe.” He smirked. “The first thing I did was switch out her injections and her arrhythmia prescriptions. That was easy enough. All I had to do was tell her that her little girlfriend needed her. Emily was always a sucker for you. I knew she’d let her guard down for you. And she did. She was so preoccupied with you that I was able to swap out her drugs. You’d be surprised how many medications look the same to the untrained eye.” He rolled a prescription bottle around in his fingers and then held it up for Ali to see. “Causes dizziness, heart palpitations…night terrors…” He glanced up at Ali, his eyes hooded, his lips upturned like a psychopathic clown. “Same thing we put in the water in the dollhouse.” He put the medications down. “Switching out the rest was easy. A little sneaking around at dinner here. A little bump into one another at the pharmacy there.”

“You were poisoning her.” Ali’s tone came out murderous. He had been screwing with her heart, making Emily sicker this whole time. “You did this to her.”

He was more twisted than she ever could have known.

“What better way to make you suffer than by hurting what you love the most? I couldn’t have planned for a better revenge than letting you watch this heart thing slowly kill her. I was just hoping she’d gradually deteriorate, but man, it was like a Christmas present when I heard her heart actually stopped…with you by her side. I couldn’t have planned it better myself. And it gave us exclusive access to her. No one questions the comings and goings of a doctor or a temp nurse.”

 _Sara_. Ali thought to herself. Once she killed Elliott, she was going to go exact a special kind of vengeance on Sara as well. She was already planning out horrible ways to make her suffer.

“You orchestrated this whole thing?” Ali hissed through her teeth.

“You made it _so_ easy for me, Ali.” He chuckled darkly. “Loving her the way that you do. I knew that all I needed to do was push you two towards one another and that the sparks would fly, like they always do. She’s your soulmate.”

The one and only thing she would ever agree with him on.

“You were so naïve.” He taunted her. “I mean, come on…what guy is _really_ going to be okay with his ex-girlfriend flaunting her love for someone else?” He rolled the scalpel around in his hand. “Your love for her made you so soft.”

There was a noise from behind them, and for a split second Ali thought that Toby had somehow busted out of his cell and was coming to help her pummel Elliott. But instead, she saw the other half of the psychotic duo walking towards them.

“Hey,” Sara said casually, like nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

“Where have you been?” Elliott snapped. “You were supposed to meet me here.”

“I thought I heard the motion sensor alarm go off. I went up to check it out. Turns out it was just a piece of scaffolding that fell.”

“God, you are useless.” Elliott muttered.

“I have done everything you asked!” Sara retorted, insulted at his lack of appreciation.

“I don’t remember asking you to shoot me.”

“You wanted me to make it look real.” Sara shrugged.

“Just stick to the plan from here on out. Can you do that?” Elliott asked in a condescending tone.

“Yeah. I got it.” Sara scowled at him. She walked across the room to a table and grabbed a large syringe with something drawn up inside of it. “You ready?”

“I’ve been ready,” Elliott said in a voice that clearly indicated he was saying ‘you’re the one who’s late.’

Sara nodded and then she walked through a door leading into the room with Emily. She walked over next to the gurney.

“No.” Ali shook her head, a sick feeling building up in her stomach. “No. What are you doing?”

“I already told you. You took Charlotte away from me. You took away my heart. I’m going to take away yours.” He glanced at Sara, giving her a nod, a signal to go ahead with their plan.

“I told you, I didn’t hurt Charlotte! I didn’t...”

“Save it.” He ignored her.

“Elliott, stop. If you _ever_ cared about me you won’t do this!” Ali made a move to try and rush towards the room, but Elliott grabbed her.

“Oh, Ali,” he said teasingly, “the only reason you’re still alive is because for some reason…Charlotte loved you. You were always untouchable.” He dragged her over to the observation window again. “But Charlotte is gone. It’s my game now.”

“Stop it!” Ali squirmed.

Inside the room, Sara pulled the cap off of the needle and rolled the syringe around with her fingers.

“I like Emily. I really do. She was always strong, even when she was broken. She really has been through a lot.” He glanced at Emily through the glass. “That’s why I have arranged it so she won’t feel a thing.” He paused in thought. “She won’t ever feel anything again.”

Ali struggled against him, suddenly not caring that he had a blade he could cut her throat with that was dangerously close to slicing in to her.

“Leave her alone.” Ali threw her head back, trying to catch him in the nose.

He dodged the hit.

“It’s simply, really. One little injection and her heart will just…stop,” he said. “She’ll cease to exist. And then you’ll know everything I went through when I lost Charlotte.”

“NO!” Ali screamed. She tried begging again. “Take me instead. Just don’t hurt her. Please! Elliott, PLEASE!”

“Don’t worry. Your time will come. Be patient. But for now, just look on the bright side. Eventually, this heart problem would have killed her anyway. I’m just helping nature take its course.”

She watched in horror as Sara jabbed the needle into Emily’s IV and pushed the plunger down. Ali felt her heart speed up in her chest. Her veins felt like they were pumping boiling water through her body. And just like she’d felt something snap back in the hospital, she felt the same rage and desire burning deep inside of her chest now.

“I WILL KILL YOU!” Ali yelled, spinning around so suddenly that it caused Elliott to falter and almost lose his balance. “You bastard! I am going to shove that blade into your balls and slice you open from crotch to sternum.”

She went at him, nearly feral. She clawed at his face, but he was able to get his hands up in time to prevent her from doing any major damage. He grabbed her wrists, the scalpel cutting in to the side of her palm. She barely felt it. She squirmed against him as he flipped her around so she was facing Emily again, his arm hovering below her chin, the scalpel aimed down at her chest. In the reflection of the glass he could see a look of madness in her eyes. Something flashed across her face. She lowered her head and pulled a Hanna Marin, sinking her teeth into his arm, clamping down until she tasted blood. He screamed out in both anger and surprise, dropping the scalpel to the floor.

“You bitch!” He smacked the side of her face with his other hand, catching the side of her nose and one of her eyes.

Ali felt the sting of the hit. Her nose started burning and automatic tears sprung to her eyes. Before she could react, Elliott had her in a chokehold again. He pushed her back towards the observation window.

The machines hooked up to Emily started beeping erratically. Ali screamed and tried to fight her way out of Elliott’s grasp. He roughly yanked her head and shoved her face against the glass. His blood from where she’d bitten him and her tears smudged the window. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. Ali flailed against him, but it was to no avail.

“EMILY!” She screamed. How many times did she have to watch Emily die? She managed to elbow Elliott in his ribs, but he didn’t feel it. “No! Get away from her!” She cried. “NO!”

Her screams echoed throughout the hallways, her voice carrying into Toby’s cell. Her cries were distant, but he heard them.

“Ali!” He yelled. “Ali, hold on!”

He threw his weight against the bars, trying to bulldoze his way out. He fell to the ground, his shoulder throbbing. He leaned up against the bars, his eyes scanning the room for any means of an escape. His gaze landed on a large patch of spackle in the corner of the room. Someone had sealed something off. He crawled over to it. He used the heel of his foot to throw a powerful kick in to it and a piece jerked loose. He kicked it again and the plaster fell forward, revealing a grate with an industrial sized air duct. Toby went to work trying to get the grate loose. He couldn’t hear Ali’s screams anymore, and that scared him more than hearing her cry.

Ali’s screams were now nothing more than choked gurgles rumbling in her throat. Elliott dragged her into the room with Emily, smiling triumphantly about the fact that the machines were not reading anything from Emily anymore. Ali was still struggling in his arms, trying to get her hands around his neck so she could strangle him. He threw her forward, towards Emily’s bed. She fell to the ground on her hands and knees a few feet shy of the gurney.

“It sucks not being able to tell them goodbye, doesn’t it?” Elliott said hatefully. “But being that I’m a generous guy, I’ll give you two some time.” He glanced at Sara. “Watch her. Kill her if she tries anything. I’m going to make sure we’re all set.”

Ali heard him shift behind her and when she turned around she saw him closing the door and locking it. She stared at the ground, terrified to look up at Emily. After a few seconds she forced herself to look, her eyes level with Emily’s hand. She reached up to touch her fingers. They were still warm. Ali pushed herself to her feet and pressed her hands against Emily’s face, her body shaking with quiet sobs.

“Emily, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she cried.

“Relax, it was just saline,” Sara uttered quietly.

Ali jumped. She’d been so preoccupied with Emily that she’d almost forgotten she wasn’t alone in the room.

“What?” Ali tore her gaze away from Emily and looked over the bed at Sara.

“I switched the syringes out. It was basically just sterile water.”

There was a beat of silence. Ali didn’t understand.

“Sh-she’s okay?” Ali asked. “But the monitors…”

“I unhooked them when he wasn’t looking.” Sara motioned to a wire that had been unplugged.

Ali looked at Sara in confusion. She looked back down at Emily and put her hand against Emily’s neck and felt for her pulse. It was slow, but it was there.

“Oh, Em.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

_Thank God._

Sara was telling the truth. Why would she do that? Why would she save Emily? What kind of game was she playing?

“What are you doing, Sara?” Ali’s broken voice was deeper and gruffer than her normal tone. She’d been pushed to her breaking point time and time again, and she was beyond done.

“I thought it was obvious. I’m trying to keep her alive,” Sara kept her tone hushed.

“Why?”

“So I can get you both out of here.”

“I’m sorry…what?” Ali laughed in disbelief. “You’re the one who brought us out here in the first place.”

“Like I said earlier, it’s complicated.”

“And like _I_ said earlier, you better uncomplicate it.” Ali snarled. “Before I slit your throat.”

Sara scoffed at Ali’s death threat, clearly unafraid. That irritated Ali.

“I’m serious. You better start talking, _right now_.” Ali’s voice trembled with rage.

“The plan was to lure you out here away from everyone else. He wanted you to watch him kill her and then he was going to kill you,” Sara said. “I knew I couldn’t let him go through with it. I didn’t sign up for murder.”

“No. You just signed up for torture.” Ali snapped.

“There’s more to it than that.”

“Not from where I’m standing.” And where she was about to be standing was over Sara’s dead body.

“I didn’t have a choice!” Sara argued.

“You could have just taken him out with the gun and let us go.” Ali pointed out.

“I’m not that good of a shot,” Sara said.

“Head or chest. How hard is that?” Ali rolled her eyes.

“You don’t understand. That shot would have had to kill him. I wasn’t that confident.”

“You had him locked in a cage!” Ali exclaimed.

“This place is _his_ design. You saw how easy it was for him to get out.”

“All the more reason you should have _shot him_.” Ali reiterated.

“Wouldn’t have solved our problem.”

“Why not?” Ali asked, annoyed and frustrated with the runaround she was getting.

“Because he’s _insane_.” Sara raised her voice slightly. She took a calming breath. “He’s got this place rigged to blow up and if I had let on _at all_ that I was planning on getting you out he would have hit the detonator.”

“With him still inside?” Ali didn’t buy it.

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “He’s crazy. And I know that’s the pot calling the kettle black, but he’s like… _legitimately_ socio. Two buckles shy of a strait jacket. He lost it after Charlotte died. I mean LOST it. My only choices were to join him or die by his hand.”

“You had other options! You could have walked away. Told someone. Gone to the police.” Ali suggested.

“He never would have let me. If I had tried, my murder would have been the real deal instead of the fake out. You have no idea what he’s capable of.”

“I know perfectly well what he’s capable of.” Ali slid her palm up Emily’s cheek, her sadness weighing heavily upon her heart.

Elliott had pushed Emily to the brink of death more than once. He’d been responsible for hurting innocent children. He’d killed her mother. Calling him a monster would be an insult to monsters. The man was a soulless rotting nothing.

Emily whimpered in her unconsciousness. Her face was tight.

“Hey, shh, I’m here,” Ali said softly. “I’m here, sweetie.” She stroked Emily’s hair and then looked at Sara. “What did you do to her?” she asked, half of her attention focused on Emily, the other half raging at Sara.

“She’s got some pretty heavy sedatives in her system,” Sara said.

“She’s hurting.” Ali could see Emily cringing in discomfort. She ran her palm over Emily’s forehead.

“He refused to give her anything for the pain.” Sara confirmed Ali’s statement.

“So, you’ve just been letting her suffer?” Ali’s head snapped up angrily.

“Again, this was _not_ my plan.” Sara bit back in irritation.

“Right. You’re completely innocent and had nothing to do with it.” Just like she’d told the judge when Charlotte was on trial. “Give me a freaking break.”

“I never said I was innocent.” Sara disagreed. She huffed out a noise that sounded like a mixture of aggravation and sorrow. “Look, I meant what I said to you when I came to see you. Charlotte…she meant a lot to me.” There was an undertone in her voice that Ali hadn’t missed, but she wasn’t quite sure what it meant. “I loved her.” What was it about Charlotte attracting such psychopaths? “Our history is complex. I met Charlotte after I ran away from home. She took me under her wing…”

Ali felt a strange feeling of déjà vu thinking of how Charlotte had done the same thing with her. Charlotte loved taking in strays and molding them in her image.

“I didn’t think anything of the fact that she was gone for days at a time. I just thought she was out making her mark on the world. I had no idea she was in Radley until later. But even when I found out, I didn’t get angry. She told me her story, and I was just…horrified for her. And then, Alexander…Elliott, he came into the picture and everything changed. Charlotte got…” She furrowed her brows. “…darker.” She frowned. “We both did.” At least she admitted it. “He had this way of controlling us without us knowing. It was this twisted way to make us feel like we were in charge. And in a way it felt good, having that power.”

“Whose idea was it to kidnap my friends and torture them in the dollhouse?” Ali asked sharply.

Sara looked away for a brief second, her eyes darting towards the observation window that was smeared with Elliott’s blood and Ali’s tears.

“We shouldn’t be wasting time here. We have a really short window of opportunity to…”

“Who hurt my friends? Who hurt Emily?” Ali cut Sara off, cringing at the images in her head of Emily being electrocuted with the cattle prod. “Who used her as a human lab rat and turned her in to their own personal puppet to torture?” Because she was going to reign hell on that person.

“Charlotte ran the game,” Sara said, “but he did all the leg work. He was fascinated with Emily. He took pleasure in her pain. She was the last one to break. She held out the longest.”

Ali turned her head and sighed sadly. Of course she did. She was Emily.

“Believe it or not, Spencer cracked first. Then Hanna. Aria made it a little bit longer. That was a surprise to all of us. Mona was in and out. But Emily? She was downright defiant. He hated that he couldn’t get to her. And Charlotte was jealous of how much you seemed to care about her. It made for a bad combination. He made it his personal mission to break her, and Charlotte was content to let him.”

Ali tensed up at the thought of Elliott and Charlotte using Emily as their own personal punching bag just because of how much Emily loved her.

“He pushed her. He pushed her hard. It finally got to a point where Charlotte told him he needed to cool it with her. Charlotte’s intent when she took the girls there was never to hurt them. All she wanted to do was play with them, create a life she missed out on. The torture...it was all him. He manipulated Charlotte. She may have been a genius, but Elliott was the mastermind behind it all. He made Charlotte believe it was her game, but it was his all along. Because that’s how he works. And we were naïve enough to believe that we were unstoppable. We thought we were invincible, so when Charlotte got caught it threw us. Alexander went into hiding. I played the victim. And Charlotte? She took the heat.”

“Yeah, and you fanned those flames.” Ali frowned, trying to kick Sara where it hurt.

“I know that. I think about that every day.” Sara’s jaw tensed. “Everything I told you was true. I visited her after the trial. I was ashamed of the fact that I threw her under the bus in that courtroom. I got scared and I did what I knew how to do best: I lied. I needed her to know that I was going to make it up to her. I needed her to know she wasn’t alone.”

“She wasn’t alone. She had me.” Ali replied bitingly.

“And Elliott. Or at least that’s what he was calling himself there.” Sara added. “I was surprised when I ran in to him. He said he’d found an ‘in’. Later I found out that the ‘in’ was a doctor who’d just moved to town with the intent to apply at Welby. Alexander killed him and stole his identity.”

“Elliott Rollins?”

“He was a real physician. Alexander killed him and buried him under the name Alexander Drake. He didn’t want anyone to come looking for him. He said he did it for Charlotte. He said he was going to get her out. And then after she died he snapped. He started talking about how weird you were being. He was convinced that your behavior was more than just grief. He thought it was guilt. Then when he gave you that picture of Aria outside the bar and you didn’t turn her in, he became even more suspicious. He thought you knew Aria didn’t kill her because you were the one who did it.”

“I didn’t…”

“I know you didn’t kill your sister, Alison.” Sara interrupted her, her voice full of a strange confident purpose. “But he’s convinced that you did. He’s been after you since the day she died. He thought your friends knew and that they were protecting you. He was trying to get them to turn on you. You have to believe me, I never knew he was going to take is this far.” She looked at Emily. “I never wanted to hurt Emily like this. Throughout everything she’s always been so genuine and kind. I understood how special she was after she took me in. I really did care about her.”

“So then why did you do all of this? Why hurt her like this?”

“I told you, I never wanted to hurt her!” Sara exclaimed in frustration. “I tried to get her out of the line of fire. I really did. I tried to get her to leave town so she wouldn’t get mixed up in this. But I knew she wouldn’t leave you. When I realized that she wasn’t going anywhere I started working against Elliott under the guise that I was helping him.”

“You _were_ helping him.” Ali’s hands tightened into fists. She was ready to start pummeling her. “We’re here because of _you_. Emily almost died because of _you_.”

“I wasn’t in on that. That was all him. He wanted to torture you. I tried to find ways to lead you to his identity without him knowing,” Sara said. “The glove that Emily found? I left it in your house. I knew the girls saw me wearing them at the funeral. I needed Emily to know that the footage she saw of herself in the dollhouse was real. Elliott wanted her to question reality, to make her think she was crazy, add stress to her heart. I wanted her to know it wasn’t a dream. I knew she’d follow up on it. I left the video file for Caleb to find, because I knew about the footage at the end of it, the stuff with Charlotte locking her important things away. I knew that once Emily found the key, which I left in a picture frame in a box of Charlotte’s things, she’d put two and two together. And she did. I knew she’d be smart enough to find the proof that Alexander Drake existed. But he found out that you knew about _A_ being back _and_ that the girls were closing in on his identity. And so he changed his plans, and I had no choice but to go along with it.”

“There’s this thing called the truth. You could have just told us.” Ali felt her arms shaking, her body begging her to throw a punch.

“I couldn’t say anything. He was watching my every move,” she said quietly.

“You didn’t have to torture her!” Ali raised her voice.

“Do you _really_ want to have this fight right now?” Sara asked in a patronizing tone.

Her demeaning tone of voice was all it took to push Ali over the edge. She couldn’t contain her anger any longer. She reached over Emily’s bed and grabbed Sara by the shirt collar with one hand and then drew back and threw a punch, her fist connecting with Sara’s jaw.

“I deserved that.” Sara nodded, wiping blood away from her lip. “I…”

Ali swung again.

“I will bury you for this.” Ali’s tone was a calm, yet menacing. It was a quiet threat that instilled much more terror than any amount of screaming and yelling ever could. “You put her through hell.” Another hit. “You tortured her.”

“He had to believe it was real.” Sara was not even trying to fight back.

“It WAS real!” Ali snarled as she threw another punch. “You could have killed her. Do you get that?”

“She’s tougher than she looks.” Sara pulled back, breaking Ali’s hold on her. She threw her head to the side and spit a chunk of blood out of her mouth.

“I hate you.” Ali snapped.

“I realize that.” Sara motioned to her battered face. “But right now I’m all you’ve got. We can do this later. We need to get moving.”

Emily stirred beneath them. She sucked in a deep breath that sounded like a wheeze. Ali’s eyes immediately shot down. Seconds later, the same hands that had been beating the crap out of Sara were delicately caressing Emily’s cheeks. She felt Emily’s pulse, almost collapsing when she couldn’t find it at first, but then huffed out the breath she’d been holding in when her fingers found the slow steady rhythm. Ali frowned. It was _too_ slow. She swallowed hard.

“Why is her heart rate so low?” Ali’s eyes widened in alarm.

She was so used to feeling Emily’s heart beating quickly. It scared her that it had gone in the opposite direction. Sara was rubbing a cut on her cheek. She glanced at Emily and then looked at a tray next to Emily’s bed.

“It’s the anesthetic in her system,” Sara said. “Probably dropped her blood pressure.” She grabbed a syringe sitting on the tray and then she reached for Emily’s IV port.

“Get away from her.” Ali hissed, smacking Sara’s hand away from Emily. She leaned over Emily and spread her arms and upper body over her girlfriend, ready to protect her if it came to that.

Sara put her hands up in surrender. Ali looked at her palms and saw that though they were scarred, they didn’t look nearly as bad as Sara had made them out to be. And her fingers were completely fine. Sara saw her staring.

“I lost feeling in my palms, but everything else functions just fine,” Sara explained.

“Great, I’m so happy to hear you can still diddle yourself.” Ali rolled her eyes.

Sara lowered her hands slowly and grabbed a bottle sitting on the tray where she’d gotten the syringe. She offered it to Ali for inspection.

“I need to give her a reversal for the sedative we gave her to get her out of the hospital,” Sara explained.

Ali looked at her skeptically, but took the bottle. It had several animals melded together on the label. She read a quick overview of the drug, which was a sedative used in animals that could be reversed for quicker recovery times. Ali took a deep breath and looked at Sara in fury.

“You gave her a goddamn horse tranquilizer?” She clenched her jaw, rubbing her teeth together.

No wonder Emily was thrashing around in pain in the video she’d been sent on her phone. Her mind flashed to seeing Emily struggling to breathe underneath Sara’s gloved palm. Sara had put Emily in danger, and that enraged Ali. Her anger started to consume her again. She was going to do more than hit Sara. She was going to annihilate her.

“Why would you do this?”

“No more questions. We have to get her out of here before he comes back.” Sara replied.

She reached for a second bottle, showing her that it was exactly what she said it was. She even let Ali peel off the safety cap and inspect it to prove to her that it had not been tampered with. She took the bottle back and drew up another syringe full of liquid.

“If this is some sort of trick I will chain you to the back of a train and let it drag you to your death.” Ali threatened.

“I promise you, it’s not going to hurt her.”

“Yeah, because your promises mean so much.” Ali spit hatefully.

Sara gave Emily the injection. After a few seconds Ali saw Emily move her mouth and turn her head slightly to the side, but nothing else happened.

“Come on. We’ve got to get moving.” Sara pushed her foot against the brake release on the bed.

“How? He locked us in.” Ali pointed to the door.

“If it’s one thing I learned from Charlotte it’s to always have an exit strategy. He’s got hidden doors all over this place.”

Sara walked over to another plexiglass window across the room. She pushed a hidden button on the side and the wall started to slide sideways. Sara walked over to the gurney and pulled up the side rails. Emily grunted under her breath.

“You may want to talk to her. She’s been muttering for you for hours,” Sara said.

As much as Ali wanted to choke the bitch standing across from her, she knew Emily was more important right now. Sara put her hands against the bars near the head of the gurney. Ali looked down at Emily. She leaned over her, gripping her hand, her thumb brushing the back of her wrist. She bent down and gently swept her lips over Emily’s forehead. She was warm and clammy. Emily’s lips parted and she tried to say something, but after a few seconds she just let out a sigh.

“You’re alright, Em,” Ali said quietly, her fingers gently stroking Emily’s arm. Emily seemed to relax under her touch.

They wheeled Emily out of the room and into a dimly lit hallway. Sara kept them moving at a slow pace, uncertain of where Elliott was. If he got back to the room and found them gone there was a possibility he’d blow all of them up. Sara and Ali were both so wrapped up in watching where they were going that neither of them realized that Emily was coming out of her sedation.

Emily felt totally disoriented. The last thing she remembered was her father holding her in his arms. It had felt so real. He’d felt real. She’d felt his touch. She’d smelled his aftershave. It’s like he’d known she was being enclosed by a darkness and he’d swooped in to be her light. She felt something jostle below her and her body jerked, sending a wave of fresh pain through her muscles.

“Be careful,” she heard a familiar voice grumble.

_Alison._

She felt Ali’s hand on top of hers. Emily’s eyes slowly opened. She saw Ali standing over her. She wasn’t looking at Emily. She was looking ahead. Were they moving? Emily felt her stomach lurch, nausea overtaking her. She closed her eyes and swallowed the saliva building up in her mouth. After a few seconds the nausea subsided and she opened her eyes again.

“Alison?” Emily croaked out.

Ali nearly tripped over her feet. They stopped moving. She looked down at Emily, her hand automatically going to her face.

“You’re awake.” Ali heaved out a sigh of relief, unable to contain herself as she pushed her lips against Emily’s forehead.

“Are we in the hospital?” Emily’s head was throbbing and her chest was sore.

“We have to keep moving!” Someone at the head of Emily’s bed ordered.

“God, give her a second, would you?” Ali looked back at whoever it was with a hatred in her eyes that Emily had never seen before. She turned back to Emily, a soft expression on her face. “Just relax, okay, Em?” She brushed her fingers behind Emily’s ear.

“What’s going on? Did I die?”

“Which time?” Ali couldn’t help but give her sass.

Emily reached up, needing to touch her girlfriend’s face, needing to feel her. She needed to know this was real. Ali smiled sweetly when Emily’s fingers softly swept her cheek.

“You’re here,” Emily said in relief.

“I’m here.” Ali nodded.

“I thought I was never going to see you again.” Emily felt a knot forming in her throat.

“I know the feeling.”

Emily saw the blood stain on Ali’s shirt from where she had been jabbed with the scalpel blade. She traced her fingers over the injury.

“You’re hurt.” Emily’s face contorted in concern.

Ali let out a soft laugh.

“You just had heart surgery. I’d say you’ve got me beat.”

“What happened?” Emily asked.

“You can compare battle scars later. We’re running on borrowed time here.”

Emily glanced up and saw Sara standing over her staring down at her. Suddenly she was back in the recovery room with Sara standing over her, taunting her, digging at her incision. She felt pressure on her chest. She felt the lingering effects of whatever poison Sara had put in her IV burning her veins. She choked back a scream. Her heart started racing. Her body started to tremble. She grabbed Ali’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“Em – Emily, take it easy.” Ali could see her starting to panic.

“She tried to kill me.” Emily’s breathing was fast and full of fear. “She’s _A_.”

Sara tried to show her she meant her no harm.

“Emily, look, I…”

“Get away from me!”

When Emily saw Sara leaning towards her face, she reacted by throwing up her free hand and striking her in the nose with a solid uppercut. Sara stumbled back, blood oozing out of both nostrils. Ali smiled at Sara with a smarmy look on her face, proud of her girlfriend. Fresh out of heart surgery and she could still kick ass. It turned Ali on in all kinds of ways.

“You two are a regular one-two punch, aren’t you?” Sara mumbled, swearing under her breath.

“We have to get out of here.” Emily pushed herself to sit up.

“Wait.” Ali tried to slow her down. “Sara is a lot of things, but she’s not exactly who you think she is. She’s the reason you’re still alive right now. She’s not the one trying to kill us.” At least for the moment. “Elliott is.”

“Elliott?” Emily asked in surprise.

“He’s Alexander Drake.”

“But Alexander Drake is dead.” Emily frowned in confusion.

“No. Elliott Rollins is dead. Alexander stole his identity.”

There was a beat of silence, followed by an irritated breath.

“I’m unconscious for _one_ day and this happens,” Emily muttered as she fell back against the gurney.

Ali laughed, so happy to have her snarky woman back.

“Well, this is just a heartwarming reunion,” Sara said sarcastically. “But can we save it until we’re above ground? I don’t have any interest in becoming a human firework.”

“What are you talking about?” Emily asked, her voice dripping with disdain.

“I’m talking about the fact that this entire place is rigged with explosives. He’s checking the wiring right now. He’s very meticulous about his bombs,” she uttered caustically. “Could have been a terrorist in another life.”

“He _is_ a terrorist.” Ali grumbled. Emily rubbed her arm to try and calm her down. Ali looked at her appreciatively.

“Yeah, and you’re not much better.” Emily huffed at Sara.

“You don’t like me – you don’t trust me? Fine. Whatever. But I am trying to help you here.” Sara’s voice almost came out as a whine, like a high pitched dog whistle annoying Emily’s sensitive ears.

“You’ve been helping him this whole time! You are framing Ali for your murder! She’s being interrogated because of you!”

“Em…” Ali put her hand on Emily’s shoulder, worried that she was getting herself too worked up. It made her nervous that they didn’t have her hooked up to any monitors. The wires connected to her chest were just dangling freely on the gurney.

Emily brushed off Ali’s warning and continued chewing Sara out.

“You could have ruined her life.” Emily berated Sara.

She ranted at her for a good two minutes, Sara standing there silently and taking it. Ali saw something change in Sara’s expression. Seconds later, Sara huffed out an aggravated breath.

“Jesus, lay off. I was afraid. Okay?”

“You?” Emily looked at her with skeptical disbelief. “Afraid? Of what? A crucifix and Holy water?”

Ali snorted out a laugh, a “that’s my girl” look on her face.

“Look around you.” Sara motioned around the hallway. “I didn’t want to be on the other end of this. And I was afraid I would be if he found out…” She stopped short, like she hadn’t meant to let that slip out.

“Found out _what_?” Emily continued to grill her. She couldn’t figure out why Sara would be so afraid of her partner in crime. They had been torturing the girls together for years. “What could you have possibly done that…” Something registered in Emily’s mind. The one thing that might have Sara running scared. The one thing that would give her motive to incriminate the girls in Charlotte’s death. “Oh my God. _You_ killed Charlotte.”

“What?” Ali asked, her eyes flickering over at Sara in outrage.

Sara looked completely caught off-guard.

“I…” She sounded meek, all the poison in her voice suddenly gone. She didn’t go to any great lengths to deny it, and that’s when Ali and Emily realized it was the truth. “…it was an accident.”

“Oh, you bitch!” Ali spit bitterly.

“I was trying to talk her out of going back to Elliott.”

“By killing her?” Ali exclaimed.

“No. This was before she was released. I was trying to convince her to run away with me. I told her we could start over down south. Just the two of us. But she had reservations about leaving Elliott.”

Ali tried not to show how much it stung her that Sara didn’t mention Charlotte not wanting to leave her after everything she had done for her. Emily caught the expression on her face. She curled her fingers in between Ali’s fingers and squeezed her hand gently. Ali smiled sadly at Emily.

“The night she was released I called her…” Sara _had_ been at _The Radley_ that night. “I was desperate to get her away from him. And I was pissed that she was choosing him over me. So I let it slip that Elliott hadn’t been entirely faithful to her.”

“You told her about me and Elliott?” Ali’s nostrils flared.

“I knew it would give her just the push she needed to pull away from him…and come running back into my arms.”

Emily wasn’t sure whether to throw a punch or just throw up.

“Your mother should have squeezed her legs together and snapped your head off at childbirth.” Ali glared at her.

Emily huffed out a laugh.

“That night at the hotel we talked about a lot, and we… _connected_ …” A smile washed across her face, leaving no doubt in Ali’s and Emily’s minds about what else those two had done in their hotel room. “But then afterwards when we started talking about our plans for the future she pulled away. She started talking about how it wasn’t fair to Elliott. We got in to it and I stormed out. I went outside to get some air. I ran in to my driver, who was outside taking a drag from his cigarette. He talked to me for a few minutes to try and settle me down.”

So James was apparently a therapist on top of being a P.I.

“I took a walk to cool down. I ended up at the church. I went up to the bell tower and just stared at the town for a while. I was getting ready to leave when Charlotte came storming up the stairs. She was yelling at me about how I was a hypocrite and accused me of sleeping with my driver.” Sara scoffed. “As if I don’t have standards. Then she told me she never wanted to see me again. She shoved me and I just…I lost control. We struggled and she hit her head.” Sara had tears in her eyes. “I didn’t even realize she was dead until I saw the blood. I didn’t mean to kill her, but I knew no one would believe me, not after everything I’d said about her on the witness stand. So I wiped away any trace that I was there. I laid low, but I knew that Elliott was going to flip out. He did. I knew I had to do everything I could to keep him from finding out, so I convinced him I wanted in on his insane revenge plot. I knew her death would fall back on you and I thought that if I was on the inside I could protect you…”

“Don’t even try.” Emily cut her off. “You did this for _you_.”

She could feel Ali shaking in rage. Emily held Ali’s hand firmly, trying to keep her from killing Sara. They were going to need her alive to prove all of this.

“We need her alive,” Emily said, turning to Ali, trying to keep her from becoming an actual murderer, no matter how justified it was.

“She’s right.” Sara took an automatic step away from them, trying to keep it from coming to blows again.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t make you bleed.” Ali ground her teeth together.

“Can we duke this out later? I’m kind of in the middle of trying to save your asses right now.”

“You mean _your_ ass.” Emily corrected her.

“Look, just stay here. I’m going to check and see if we’re clear.” She walked towards a door.

“Hell no.” Ali loped after her and grabbed her arm. “You really think I’m going to trust you with our lives?”

“You don’t have a choice.” Sara yanked her arm away from Ali like her touch burned her. “We need to get out of here.” She looked over at Emily. “And she needs to get back to the hospital. We don’t have the meds she needs here.”

Ali stood in front of the door stubbornly.

“She’s still alive, isn’t she?” Sara asked. “If I was really with him I could have just let her die back there. I’m just going to make sure we have a clear shot to the exit. Okay? If he runs into all of us he’ll turn this place into Hiroshima. But if it’s just me and I run into him then I’ll just tell him I threw you in the cell with your cop buddy and came to help him set up the explosives.”

“Toby is here?” Emily looked at Ali in disbelief. “Ali, we can’t leave him.”

“No. We won’t,” Ali said. “I promise. We just need to get you somewhere safe first and I’ll come back for him.” She faced Sara and got up in her face. “You better not be lying about this or…”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll murder me horribly.” Sara interrupted her. “You’re so predictable, Alison.”

Ali socked her in the stomach, Sara doubled over and heaved out a cough.

“Don’t forget that I follow through on my threats.” She frowned at her. She turned away, but then turned and punched her again. “That was for my sister.”

Sara pushed herself upright and caught her breath. Ali slowly stepped aside.

“I’ll just be a few minutes. Try to stay quiet.” Sara reached for the door.

She peered out the door and then walked through it, closing it behind her.

Ali walked over next to Emily. They waited silently for Sara to return. Neither of them fully believed she would actually come back for them, but they didn’t have any other choice. If Elliott really did have this place rigged to explode they were sitting ducks. Sara was the only one who knew the way out of here.

“How are you doing, Em?” Ali traced her fingers over Emily’s cheek. She was still sweaty.

“Better now that you’re here,” Emily said without missing a beat. “Where is here, exactly?”

“An old farm and slaughterhouse.”

“Hmm, seems fitting.” Emily laughed a hard laugh. “Treat us like caged animals, then kill us.”

Emily tried to push herself up to get a better look around. She grunted and her face twisted in discomfort.

“How bad is it?” Ali asked with a sigh.

“Nothing like heart surgery to remind you of how deep your pain receptacles are.” Emily grit her teeth.

“They haven’t been giving you any of the meds you’re supposed to be getting.” Ali’s mouth tightened into a worried frown.

“Of course not. It would interfere with their plans to make me suffer.”

“I don’t like how clammy you look.” Ali wiped away the perspiration on her forehead.

“It’s good to see you, too, dear,” Emily replied sarcastically. The joking smile on her face turned into a soft genuine one as she reached up and put her hand on Ali’s cheek. “You didn’t give up on me.”

“I never will.” Ali smiled back. “Not as long as I’m alive.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Ali asked, almost bashfully.

“For coming here. For putting your life on the line for me.”

“It’s what we do,” Ali said with a shrug. “I would die for you.”

And Emily knew exactly how much Ali meant that. She knew Ali would give her her heart. And she loved her so much for that.

“Let’s make sure it doesn’t come to that, okay?”

Emily pushed herself up, ignoring the aches and pains in her body and pressed her lips against Ali’s. They both savored it, each remembering how it had felt when they thought they were never going to see each other again. Ali pushed down, trying to guide Emily back on to the gurney, their lips staying firmly connected on the way. She placed her hand on the side of Emily’s head and rubbed her ear, drawing delicate circles on the sensitive flesh. After a few seconds she pulled away. She looked into Emily’s eyes, reveling in them. Seeing those passionate eyes made Ali feel alive again. She knew they weren’t out of the woods yet, but the most important thing is that they had each other.

A noise startled them out of the moment. Their eyes shot to the door, which sounded like it was being opened. They heard a creak, and then the door slowly started to open. They were so focused on the door that they never saw him coming up behind them. They didn’t know he was there until they heard the first gunshot. The door swung open just as the second shot went off. By the time the bullet left the chamber it was too late. The bullet struck his target in her head, painting her blonde locks red. The light in her crystal blue eyes went out, and she fell to the ground, lifeless.


	35. Blood, Sweat, and Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not usually one to throw up warnings, but this chapter is pretty brutal. Heads up, if you’re squeamish about violence and death. Be prepared. This one is intense. I’m sorry in advance. I will be offering free hugs, because I’m sure they will be needed.

* * *

 

“Ali is…de…sh…” The voice came through broken and garbled at first, her words cutting out.

“What?” Hanna glanced down at her phone, a look of bewilderment on her face. “Hold on. I can’t hear you.”

She walked out of Ali’s room, Aria trailing her. Spencer was right behind them. They were getting ready to leave Ali’s house. They’d searched and hadn’t found a trace of her.

“Say that again, Mona?” Hanna asked.

“I said Ali is in some deep sh…” The phone cut out again, but after a few seconds the reception cleared and Hanna could hear her perfectly. “…but whatever she’s doing she’s in some serious trouble.”

“What do you mean she’s in trouble?” Hanna put the phone on speaker so Aria and Spencer could hear.

“After you told me she went AWOL I hacked in to her phone to see if I could find her. The last location shown is at the hospital…”

“So? Why does that mean she’s in trouble?” Aria questioned.

“Oh, man, did she hit someone?” Hanna questioned. “Is she being arrested?”

“No, I was able to extract the last couple of texts from before she went dark.” Mona paused, a crackle in the line giving way to a sigh, “ _A_ was taunting her about Emily’s death, sending her pictures and telling her things that made it seem like they have Emily’s…” Mona cringed, feeling bile in her mouth just thinking about mentioning it, “…body.” She was pissed that Emily hadn’t made it. Emily had convinced her that everything was okay. Emily had her believing that everything would be fine. She’d even quipped about letting Mona be the first to know if she died again. “The last message was an address. It’s _way_ out in the country, about 45 minutes or so. If she went there after Emily she very well may have just walked into a trap.”

“Okay, well, Ali’s not an idiot. She’s not going to walk into an obvious _A_ trap.” Hanna frowned.

“She has before,” Mona replied, “And she’s grieving…” She quickly changed the subject so as not to remind them that she’d set her fair share of traps for their friend in the past.

“Yeah, but grieving or not, she wouldn’t be dumb enough to completely abandon her senses,” Hanna argued.

“We’re talking about Ali here.” Spencer reminded Hanna. “She would do anything for Emily.” She knew Mona was right.

There was a beat of silence.

“Crap. She’s in trouble.” The realization hit Hanna. She felt like retching. She couldn’t lose two friends today. She just couldn’t. “Text me the address.”

“Why? So you can walk into the trap, too?” Mona’s tone was soft and worried.

“We can’t just stand by and let what happened to Emily happen to her, too.” Hanna swallowed a knot in her throat.

“Mona’s right.” It was almost painful for Spencer to say aloud. She could practically hear the satisfied grin radiating from Mona’s end of the phone. It irritated her. “This is way over our heads.”

“So, what do we do?” Aria questioned.

“Mona, did you break any other laws besides hacking her phone to get this information?” Spencer asked.

“Why?”

“Because I need you to go to the police with what you’ve got.” She hated to even consider it, but at this point they needed Tanner.

The line was quiet. All three of them expected her to laugh in their faces and tell them they’d lost their minds. Mona had always been all about self-preservation. To their surprise, she agreed.

“Okay.” Mona stated.

The girls looked at one another, stunned. Though, her willingness to put herself out there for them shouldn’t have come as a shock, as she’d basically been sticking her neck out for them for years.

“With one condition,” Mona added. “None of you says a word about James if you’re questioned. The last thing I need is for them to find out that he is the one who drove Charlotte to the church that night.”

“Done.” Spencer agreed. “You’re going to need a lawyer.”

“I have one on speed dial.” Mona quipped. “Besides, I know my way around the law. It’s not like I haven’t done this before.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Hanna frowned.

“Hey, Mona, are you sure you’re okay with this? I know you and Ali don’t have the best relationship…”

Spencer hit Hanna’s arm and shook her head while mouthing ‘what are you doing?’ This was their one shot at getting _A_ caught _and_ saving Ali, if _A_ hadn’t already killed her.

“I’m not doing it for Ali,” Mona said, pausing thoughtfully. “I’m doing it for Emily.” Another moment of silence. “She was my friend, too.” In a weird ‘frenemies bantering over how screwed up they were’ kind of way. “And none of you deserves this. I know what it’s like to feel like a victim. I never want to feel like that again, and I don’t want any of you to feel like that either.”

Hanna felt tears of gratitude stinging her eyes. She felt guilty for not telling Mona more often just how much she treasured their friendship.

“Mona…” Her voice quivered.

“I know.” Mona interrupted her. “I love you, too, Han.”

“Thank you for this,” Spencer said. It wasn’t lost on her that Mona was jeopardizing not only her life, but her career.

“You can thank me by making sure I come out the other end of this with my job and my political career still intact,” Mona stated.

“Consider it done.” Spencer nodded.

She quickly coached Mona on what to say and do when she went to the police with the information she had. She got about halfway through her speech before Mona cut her off and told her she could handle it.

“Just don’t get cocky.” Spencer warned her. “It’s Tanner we’re talking about here.”

“I can handle Tanner.” Mona scoffed.

“Yeah, I thought the same thing…” Spencer drifted off in thought. She glanced at a picture of Ali and Elliott. Something felt off about it, but she couldn’t tell what. She picked the photo up and stared at it for a few seconds. “Hey, Mona, before you go, I’ve got a quick question.”

“Shoot.”

“In all the time you were watching Sara, did you ever see her meet up with anyone besides Charlotte?”

“She kept a fairly low profile. She didn’t have a lot of friends in Rosewood,” Mona answered. “Charlotte was pretty much her only friend.”

Spencer furrowed her brow in thought, staring at the picture. Maybe it was just because Ali had flown off the handle about Elliott, but for some reason…looking at the two of them in this photo, something didn’t seem right. She had never trusted the man. Part of that was because anyone who could justify Charlotte’s behavior couldn’t be of sane mind and body. But there was something else, too.

“What are you thinking, Spence?” Aria asked, sensing that she was playing ‘connect the dots’ in her head.

“What if Charlotte wasn’t the only person Sara was visiting at Welby?” Spencer looked up at her friends. “Mona, did you ever look in to Elliott Rollins?”

“I did a search on him as soon as I realized he was Charlotte’s doctor. Graduated from The University of Pittsburgh. The guy is legit on paper.”

“The University of Pittsburgh?” Spencer repeated. So then why was Elliott wearing a Penn State sweatshirt in the picture she was holding? “What about Alexander Drake? After we told you about him, did you find anything on him?”

“Aside from the marriage certificate and his death certificate there wasn’t much. Either Charlotte taught him to lay low or he was good at not leaving a paper trail. Besides, a lot of his records were sealed.” They could hear Mona typing something into her computer. “It’s possible that he died under unusual circumstances and that the case is still open.”

“Is there any way to see if he’s in a college database?”

“Sure. Just give me a second,” Mona said. There was more silence, more typing on the keyboard. “Oh, wow.”

“What?” Hanna asked eagerly.

“That’s interesting. I wonder why that didn’t come up earlier…”

“Mona!” Hanna snapped. “You’re going to have to talk to us. We can’t see what you’re seeing.”

“Sorry.” Mona replied. “It looks like Alexander did more than just torture us. He somehow found time to get a Doctorate in Biology on the side.”

“From where?” Spencer’s heart sped up in her chest.

“Penn State.”

Spencer dropped the picture on to the floor. It hit at an angle, the glass shattering.

“We’ve got to go.” Spencer’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head.

“Spence, what’s…”

“Now!” Spencer interrupted Aria. “Mona, text us the address and then call the police.” Spencer ordered as she made a beeline towards the front door.

“What’s going on?” Hanna quickly followed her.

“Elliott is Alexander. Ali is with Emily’s killer. She’s with _A_.”

They rushed to Spencer’s car, Hanna telling Mona goodbye as they climbed in. After she got in the car she glanced down at her phone apprehensively.

“She’ll be fine.” Aria assured her. “She’s Mona.”

“Yeah, plus this is the solid lead the cops need. When they get Alexander…Elliott, whoever the hell he is…I’m sure they’ll just give Mona a little slap on the wrist. They may even give her a reward.”

“Does anyone else see the cruel irony in the fact that both my fiancé and my best friend from high school are constantly on the wrong side of the law?” Hanna asked.

“We all are,” Aria said with a shrug.

“That’s a good point.” Hanna couldn’t argue.

Spencer grabbed her phone, dialing Toby’s number, who, at that very moment was trying not to panic about the fact that he’d just heard gunshots. He was still trying to get the grate off of the wall. He’d kicked it until it was dented and he had bloodied his fingers trying to free the bolts holding it in place. He was making some headway, but after hearing the shots fired he was afraid it was too late.

Down several dark and twisted hallways Emily was staring at the blood covering her girlfriend, trying to register exactly what had just happened. The shot had been fatal. Emily felt frozen for what felt like an eternity, but it had only been a few seconds. Then she felt something rushing through her veins. Her adrenaline was pumping through her body. She sucked in a delayed gasp.

“Ali!” Emily yelled, reaching for her, her heart thumping in her chest. Over her shoulder she saw Elliott taking aim again. She pushed herself up on her elbows until her upper body was off of the gurney. “Get down!”

Ali was frozen in place, staring at Sara’s body at her feet. After the bullet had struck Sara she had toppled towards them, her blood splattering all over Ali. On her clothes. On her face. In her hair. It was everywhere. Sara had fallen to the ground with an audible clunk that echoed throughout the hallway, blood gushing out of a hole on her forehead. It was nothing like you saw in the movies. There was no clean little hole oozing blood between her eyes. There was a chunk of her head missing, leaving a huge bloody mess.

Ali hadn’t heard Emily’s warning about getting out of the way. She was still in a daze. The bullet had been so close to her. Sara’s dead body was right next to her. Emily shoved Ali towards the foot of the gurney to get her out of the line of fire. Ali stumbled towards the body after Emily pushed her, nearly tripping over Sara, whose head was at a precarious angle, her eyes frozen in fear staring up at her. She lost her balance and fell forward on to her hands and knees before the third shot went off. The crack of the gunshot echoed off of the walls as the bullet whizzed by Emily’s head.

Emily flashed back to all of her dad’s gun safety lectures. She tried to stay calm, but for some reason all she could think about was Nate firing the gun in the lighthouse, nearly killing Caleb. It was a strange place for her mind to go, especially given that it had happened over six years ago and she herself had been to the firing range many times since then. Nevertheless, she felt like she was right back in the lighthouse. She saw flashes of Caleb clutching his stomach and falling to the floor covered in blood. Suddenly everything her dad had taught her was a garbled mess. Her mind was a blank.

Ali’s mind wasn’t functioning much better. She’d seen her fair share of bodies, but she had never seen anyone killed so violently at close range before. It was so messy. So personal. And even though she hated Sara and wanted to kill her, seeing her face basically explode into a fractured mess was not something she wanted to see. She saw the blood splatter on her hands and started to hyperventilate. She sat up and frantically tried to wipe her hands clean on her shirt. She touched her face with her fingers and whimpered as she tried to wipe her skin clean. She felt like she’d never be clean again.

Elliott turned the gun on Emily just as Ali was scrambling to her feet at the foot of the gurney. She saw Elliott taking aim at her girlfriend. Her shock dissipated. She saw red. She rushed around the gurney. Emily tried to grab her to stop her from doing something idiotically heroic, but Ali flew past her and charged Elliott. He quickly jerked the barrel of the gun towards her. He pulled the trigger just as she reached him and grabbed his wrist, the bullet flying towards the ceiling, chunks of it raining down on top of them. She tried to pull the gun away from him, but he clocked her in the side of the head with it, sending a shooting pain through her temple and down her neck.

“Ali!” Emily yelled. She pushed herself to sit up, her incision aching as she tried to gear herself up to swing her legs over the side of the gurney.

Ali staggered backwards, feeling a lump forming on the side of her head. But she didn’t stop in her attack. She tried to rush him again, but he threw his shoulder forward into her chest. She grabbed him by the back of the head and starting ripping his hair out. They twirled around. Elliott managed to pry himself out of her grasp and shoved her so forcefully that she went flying backwards into the wall behind them, the back of her head slamming against the structure. She slid down to the floor, her back pressed against the wall. She started to black out.

He fell backwards, towards where Emily was trying to get her bearings on the gurney. His butt hit the side of the gurney. His gaze was still fixed on Ali, who was stunned and dazed on the floor. He aimed at her, but before he had a chance to get a shot off, Emily sat up on her knees and wrapped one of the wires that had been attached to her chest around his neck. The motion caused a tight tension on her chest, but she fought through the discomfort. She pulled him back, tightening the wire, trying to get him to drop the gun…or choke him until he was unconscious, whichever happened first.

He retaliated by throwing his elbow back into her stomach, sending a wave of severe pain through her body that took her breath away. It was so extreme that she thought she might lose consciousness. But she still held the wire firmly against Elliott’s neck.

“Emily!” Ali shrieked from down the hall. She tried to get to her feet, but faltered.

Elliott threw himself backwards in to Emily and his weight slammed against the gurney. It went toppling over, sending both Emily and Elliott crashing to the ground. Emily landed on her side, her elbow taking the brunt of the fall. A bolt of pain shot through her ribs and into her chest. She cried out. She felt the full force of the fall in every cell in her body. Her incision was throbbing and her chest felt like it was on fire. She rolled on to her back and tried to catch her breath. Her side was aching. She was certain she’d cracked a rib hitting the railing on the way down. She could taste blood in her mouth and it took her a minute to feel the stinging sensation where she’d nearly bitten through her tongue.

Elliott climbed on top of her, slamming his knees close to her sides and pinning her arms to the ground with his legs so she couldn’t fight back. She felt the crushing weight of his body smashing her fingers. He straddled her waist, keeping his full weight against her so she couldn’t move.

“Get off of her!” Ali used the wall to help herself get to her feet, but the room felt like it was spinning around her. She fell back against the wall, trying not to faint from her dizziness, her legs collapsing beneath her. It pissed her off. She needed her body to cooperate. She needed to kill Elliott. She needed to save Emily.

“You are _tough_ to kill.” Elliott shook his head with a sadistic laugh. “I mean, cardiac arrest, a head on collision, heart surgery, _and_ my cocktail to euthanize you…” Which Sara clearly hadn’t given her, “Guess I’ll just have to do it the old fashioned way.”

“Go to hell.” Emily spit back. She couldn’t move, but she had the drive to survive.

She bent her knees and tried to throw him off of her, but his pelvis just pressed harder against her midsection. He looked incredibly annoyed.

“Stop. Fighting.” He snarled, pushing his hand against her face until her head was twisted to the side and she was face to face with Sara’s bloody corpse.

“Never.” She growled through her teeth, fighting against his grip. She pulled her knees up again, this time throwing him semi off-balance. He pulled his hand away from her face and slapped it against the ground to steady himself.

She tried to jerk her arms free, but the motion sent an agonizing stabbing sensation into her shoulders and down into her chest. He saw the pain register on her face and smiled. Emily saw a darkness in his eyes that made her nauseous. She could see what he was getting ready to do. She wiggled underneath him to try and get away.

He smirked as he raked the fingers of his free hand across her chest, dragging his nails right over her incision. It was worse than when Sara had done it. In fact, Sara’s torture was downright tender compared to what Elliott was doing. She’d just toyed with Emily. Elliott was attacking her with conviction. Emily was sure he’d ripped some of her sutures. She sucked in a pained gasp, tears springing to her eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, but the only sound that came out was a stifled whimper. The pain was so intense that she started to pass out. Her vision flashed white for a brief moment, but then she felt the cool muzzle of the gun against her temple and her adrenaline kicked in.

“No!” Ali staggered to her feet again, this time managing to tumble forward. Elliott heard her rustling around, trying to scramble over the fallen gurney to get to where they were.

“Back off!” Elliott whipped his head around, aiming the gun at Ali.

Ali threw her hands up, her eyes trained carefully on Elliott. He still had one hand pressed firmly against Emily’s chest, rendering her in such agony that she couldn’t move. Blood was soaking through her hospital gown from her incision. Emily’s jaw was clamped shut and she was breathing rapidly through her teeth, each breath hurting worse than the last. Her neck was craned back as she tried not to scream. Tears were trickling back towards her ears. Seeing Emily crying brought tears to Ali’s eyes.

“Please stop.” Ali cried, back to begging for Emily’s life again. She moved forward.

“I SAID BACK OFF!” Elliott waved the gun around, finger still on the trigger.

“Ali,” Emily squeaked out through her anguish. She moaned out a cry that felt like a dagger to Ali’s heart. “Do what he says…”

“Smart girl.” Elliott grinned. “That’s why you were always so much fun to play with.” He glanced at Emily.

“You’re…” She gasped for air. “You’re…as crazy as she was.”

Elliott’s face turned red in anger. He brought the butt of the gun down on her collarbone and she cried out.

“Stop it!” Ali screamed.

“How does it feel, huh, Ali?” He asked, pressing harder against her chest, eliciting a strangled cry from Emily. “Knowing you’re never going to see her again?” He curled his fingers and dug his nails into the tender flesh around Emily’s incision. Clutching. Twisting. Gripping it hard. “Hurts, doesn’t it?”

Emily couldn’t help herself as she screamed out in agony. His grip on her incision made her feel like her chest was being ripped in half. It was intense enough that she was silently wishing for death just so the pain would stop.

“Oh, God,” she choked out, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, her sight blurry from her tears.

She was certain that at any moment her incision was going to split wide open and give him full access to literally rip her heart out of her body.

“Elliott, I swear if you don’t get the hell away from her…” Ali snarled.

“Don’t test me, Ali.” Elliott aimed the gun at Emily’s chest. “Make a move and you’ll have her blood all over you.” He glanced over at Sara. “On top of this bitch’s.” He sneered at the dead girl next to them.

He turned his attention back to Ali, his eyes glued to hers, daring her to make a move. Ali stood perfectly still, her eyes staring at the gun against Emily’s chest. Emily looked at her and saw the distress on her face. Then she looked at Elliott. She could see the muscles in the side of his neck bulging. He was so set. So determined. He truly thrived on their pain. He thrived on Ali’s pain. And that just pissed Emily off. A heated fury slowly overtook her suffering.

Emily summoned all of her strength. She threw her knees up once again. The motion pushed the muzzle of the gun harder into her chest, but she refused to let her pain stop her. With his balance uneasy again, she yanked her arms out from underneath the weight of his legs and locked her fingers together to make a powerful fist. He whipped his head around to face her, but he wasn’t fast enough. She raised her arms and then brought her fist down on his crotch. Hard. His face contorted in pain and he rolled off of her, gun still in his hand. He groaned and made a half-assed attempt to grab Emily again, but she was already hustling to get away from him. She used her legs to shove herself backwards. She crawled up on her elbows and found the wall behind her head. She pushed up against it for support. She took several heaving breaths, her body aching with each inspiration.

Ali scrambled over the fallen gurney, her eyes darting from Elliott to Emily. Elliott was climbing to his feet, still clearly trying to recover from Emily’s hit. He saw Ali coming and quickly raised the gun, surprisingly pointing it at Emily instead of Ali. He knew that Emily couldn’t do much to defend herself. She’d be an easier target to hit.

“One more step and I pull the trigger.” He threatened.

Ali looked at the distance between them, trying to calculate if she could make it over to him in time to knock the gun away from him. Elliott saw the wheels turning in her head.

“Go ahead and try. I dare you,” he said. “Think you can get to me before I get this shot off, then by all means…let’s see what happens.”

Ali stopped in her tracks. She was so close. It was killing her. She glanced at Emily, her eyes abound with worry when she saw the blood on her hospital gown.

“He’s going to kill me no matter what.” Emily’s hand automatically went to her chest, hovering over her incision. She was breathing hard. “Just take his ass out.”

“Shut up!” Elliott yelled, his hands shaking in rage, his finger pressed against the trigger.

“Elliott…Elliott, stop.” Ali’s voice came out much calmer than she felt inside. “Just listen to me.” She held her hands up where he could see them. The cut on the side of her palm from the scalpel was bright red and oozing a clear fluid over the forming scab. “You wanted to avenge Charlotte’s death. You’ve done that.” She pointed to Sara. “Sara is the one who killed her. She confessed to us.”

“The girl was a sniveling little whiner. She was always the weakest link.” Elliott scoffed. “You really expect me to believe that she killed her mentor?”

“It’s true,” Emily huffed out, swallowing a grunt of discomfort. Ali hadn’t missed it. She looked at Emily in concern. “She called Charlotte from _The Radley_. They were together that night. They got into a fight and Sara accidentally killed her.”

“She was in love with Charlotte. She wanted to run away with her.” Ali added, her eyes still on Emily. “She covered up the truth by working with you. _She_ came to _you_ to help with your revenge plot, right? You didn’t seek her out? Why do you think that is? She wanted to be on the inside to make sure you didn’t find her out.”

Elliott’s eyes darted over to Sara and then back to them. He had a blank look on his face as he considered what they were telling him. He didn’t seem to care.

“Doesn’t matter anymore.” Elliott shrugged. “This was never just about her death. This was about the pain she had when she was alive.” He glared at Ali, laying all the blame on her once again. “Besides, you really think I’m just going to let you walk?” He got a wicked smile on his face. “You bitches are going to wish that I put bullets in your heads when you’re choking on smoke and your flesh is burning.” He took a step backwards, over Sara’s body, and backed through the doorway.

The instant she saw him disappear, Ali raced after him, but the door slammed in her face. She heard something click behind it. She tried to open it, but it was locked.

“Damn it!” Ali slapped her palm against the wall.

She heard Emily shuffling and when she turned around she saw that she was clumsily trying to get to her feet, but her legs were so shaky she could barely support herself.

“Wait. Emily, don’t.” Ali gasped.

Emily groaned and then slid back to the ground. Ali rushed to her side. She bent down and pushed the hair out of Emily’s face. There was blood all over Emily’s hospital gown, but it wasn’t just from one set injury. In addition to the large red stain on her chest from where Elliott had grabbed her incision there were also several spots of fresh blood sprinkled all over her gown, as well as crimson droplets scattered on the floor around her.

“Em,” Ali said, out of breath. “Oh, God.”

“It – it’s okay,” Emily said through broken breaths, grimacing in pain. “I’m okay.” But she didn’t feel okay. She didn’t feel okay at all. “Are you okay?” Emily scanned her body, looking at Ali’s bumps and bruises.

“Don’t worry about me.” Ali gently ran her hands over Emily’s body, trying to find the source of the blood, terrified she'd taken a bullet in the scuffle. Ali’s hands trembled as she reached out to unbutton Emily’s gown. “Just stay still, okay?”

Emily nodded weakly. After Ali had the top portion undone she parted the gown so they could see how badly her incision had been damaged. It looked bad, but not as bad as Ali had expected. Several sutures had been ripped, opening up the incision slightly. Ali could see exposed tissue and muscle, but the second layer of sutures underneath her skin seemed to be holding. The incision was oozing blood, but it was nowhere near enough blood to explain all the stains on Emily’s gown. For a spit second Ali thought it might be Sara’s blood, though she had actually bore the brunt of that nasty bodily fluid exchange when Sara had practically fallen into her arms. Plus, that didn’t explain the blood on the ground next to Emily.

Ali looked up at Emily and she could see something strange in her eyes. Something wasn’t right with her, which wasn’t surprising considering Elliott had used Emily’s chest as a scratching post. The light in her eyes was dwindling. Emily looked down at her injuries and then back up at Ali.

“Ali, you have to run.” Her eyes flickered as she looked down the hallway.

“Not a chance in hell.” Ali glared at her for even suggesting it.

“If you don’t he’ll kill us both. Go. Find Toby. Get out of here.”

“I am _not_ leaving you.” Ali’s tone was a mixture of fear and frustration. “No fucking way.”

“As soon as he’s clear of this building he’s going to blow it up.” Emily squeezed her eyes shut as the full extent of her injuries started to hit her.

“And I’m not letting you go up in flames with it.” Ali glanced at the gurney. Two of the wheels had broken off when it hit the ground and the frame was bent. She knew that Emily couldn’t walk. She licked her lips nervously, trying to come up with a plan.

“Ali…” Emily said softly.

But Ali wasn’t listening. Her mind was racing.

“We’ll just…” Ali trailed off. They’d what? What was Ali supposed to do? Throw Emily over her shoulder and run out of the building before it imploded? She could barely support her own weight at this point, much less Emily’s.

“Alison…”

“I’m going to get you out of here.” Ali looked around frantically.

“Hey, listen to me.” Emily reached up and put her fingers against Ali’s cheek, forcing her to turn her head and look at her. Ali blinked back tears when she looked into Emily’s eyes. “I love you.” She smiled. “I love you so very much.” She took a breath. “But you’re not going to die for me.”

“I’m not going to live without you.” Ali argued.

“We don’t have time to fight about this. You have to go. Now.”

“I already told you, _no_ ,” she said gruffly, though there were tears in her eyes. “I will not just leave you here to die, Emily. Not after everything we’ve gone through.”

“You have got your whole life ahead of you…”

“So do you!” Ali exclaimed, part heartbreak, part anger. “This isn’t over, Em.” She reached down, her fingers delicately buttoning Emily’s gown back up to keep her incision from being too exposed. She cleared her throat. “I am going to find Elliott before he detonates that bomb. And I’m going to kill him,” she said with confidence and certainty. “Then we’re going to get Toby and we’ll get out of here and get you back to the hospital…”

“Alison,” Emily’s hand slid down Ali’s cheek and against her neck. Emily curled her fingers and rubbed her thumb against Ali’s jaw, “for once in your life, please be rational.”

“Emily, I’ve never been thinking more clearly in my life.” She swept her fingers across Emily’s cheek. “I’m going to get you home, okay?”

Emily appreciated Ali’s determination. She sighed and ran her fingers through Ali’s hair, which was coated with Sara’s blood.

“We’re going to get out of this.” Ali waited for Emily to agree with her. When Emily didn’t say anything right away, Ali frowned. “I need you to believe me…” Ali begged, her voice slightly breaking.

Emily nodded.

“I do, Ali,” she said. “Always.”

Ali put her hand on top of Emily’s and forced a weak smile on to her face. As she was preparing to force herself to pull away from Emily to go after Elliott there was a crash from somewhere close, making both of them jump. The noise had come from behind the door that Elliott had disappeared through. Seconds later, the lights went out. Ali’s hand automatically tightened around Emily’s. Her breathing sped up, thinking that this was it, this was Elliott sending them one last taunt before he set the explosives off. And just when they thought they were getting ready to take their last breaths, the lights flickered and came back on. Ali’s eyes were fixed on the closed door. She turned around to check on Emily, who was also staring at the door.

“What the hell was that?” Ali’s voice came out a lot quieter than she’d intended.

Emily saw a shadow move behind Ali. Her eyes darted over to what was casting the shadow. Elliott had appeared out of nowhere, having used the cover of the darkness to slip into the hall with them again.

“Look out!” Emily tried to warn her.

But it was in vain. Elliott grabbed Ali by her hair and yanked her to her feet, ripping a few strands out by the roots. She let out a pained squeal.

“No!” Emily exclaimed, trying fruitlessly to kick at Elliott’s feet.

Elliott spun Ali around to face him.

“You didn’t really think I was going to make it that easy on you, did you?” Elliott questioned, gun still in hand. “You really thought I would be stupid enough to leave you with a way out?” He ran the muzzle of the gun across Ali’s jaw. “Let’s see how fast you can run with a bullet in your knee.”

Ali threw her arms up without warning, hitting Elliott’s hand with surprising strength. She grabbed his wrist, twisting it, forcing him to release the weapon. The gun slipped from his grip and fell to the ground. It landed on the floor a few feet shy of Emily. She reached for it, but Elliott spun around and stomped on her fingers. Emily heard a sickening snap as two of her fingers cracked underneath his blow. She pulled her hand back with a loud yelp. He kicked the gun out of her reach, sending it skidding across the floor somewhere. Emily looked around, trying to see where it had ended up, but she didn’t see it anywhere.

She swallowed her pain and tried to get to her feet. She pushed her palms against the floor, feeling the bones of her injured fingers grinding together. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming. She braced her back against the wall and pushed up with her knees. When she got to her feet she felt a stabbing pain in her side. It was blinding. She pushed her uninjured hand against the wall to keep from falling over. She felt her knees giving out, and seconds later she was on the floor again.

Elliott whipped Ali around, slamming her against one wall, then another. She dug her fingernails into his arms, his face, anywhere she could get a grip on him, drawing blood in several spots. His adrenaline kept him from feeling a thing. He grabbed her by the back of the neck and shoved her into the doorframe. She threw her elbow back, catching him hard in the ribs. He sucked in a breath, loosening his grip on her. She took the opportunity to throw a punch, hitting him square in the jaw. She regretted it almost immediately. Hitting his strong bone structure felt like hitting a brick wall. It wasn’t soft like Sara’s pudgy face.

“That all you got, Alison?” He taunted her.

He rubbed his jaw and looked up just in time to see her knuckles flying towards his throat. He caught her wrist and jerked her body to the side, kicking the backs of her knees and sending her stumbling to the ground. She grabbed a broken wheel from the gurney just as he pulled her off of the floor. When he spun her around, she slammed the wheel into his face, the metal from it slicing into his cheek. He let out a half grunt, half growl as his hand shot to the gash on his cheek. He looked at the blood covering his hands. It seemed to fuel his rage.

He grabbed her arms, shoving her backwards as hard as he could, her back slamming against the solid structure behind her, his body weight firmly against hers holding her in place. She bent her knee and pushed her foot up against the wall and used it as a springboard, shoving forward with the momentum she created.

He shoved her back again, one hand wrapping firmly around her arm and the other closing around her windpipe. He threw her around like a ragdoll. She pulled free of his grasp, nearly tripping over Sara’s body on the ground. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, lifting her off of the ground. She threw her feet against the wall in front of her and sent them toppling backwards, both of them smacking against the ground, Elliott taking the full brunt of the fall.

They scrambled to their feet. The next several seconds were a dance for control. Both of them got in several hits as they twirled around, slamming against walls and leaving destruction in their wake. Elliott gained the upper hand again. He shoved his knee into her stomach, making her double over in pain. He grabbed her forcefully by the back of her head and forced her to stand back up.

“Ali!” Emily exclaimed, trying to get to her feet again. She felt helpless.

Elliott slammed Ali’s head against the wall, nearly causing her to black out. He pinned her to the wall, both of his hands closing around her neck. He lifted her off of the ground by her throat and shoved his hands against her trachea. Ali let out a gurgled scream. She tried to kick him, but he danced around her feet.

Watching him choke the life out of Ali opened up every protective instinct Emily had. She saw Ali’s eyes slowly rolling back into her head, horrible strangled moans coming out of her mouth. Emily felt a surge of energy coursing through her. The need to protect Ali was all she could focus on. She felt herself rallying. The pain in her chest was killing her, her side was aching, and her mangled fingers were turning purple, but she found a surprising amount of fight deep inside of herself. She grabbed a broken bed railing and pulled herself up off of the floor. Before she knew it, she was standing behind Elliott. She raised the bed rail and swung.

“Get the hell away from her!” Emily brought the metal railing down on Elliott’s head.

He released his hold on Ali and turned towards Emily, blood rushing down his cheek from a gash on the side of his skull. Ali crumpled to the floor, coughing and wheezing, trying to catch her breath. She stumbled backwards on one hand while clawing at her neck trying to massage her airway with the other.

Elliott shoved Emily backwards, and despite the fact that it felt like something inside of her had just been torn wide open, she somehow managed to stay upright. She wasn’t going to let him walk away from this. She wasn’t going to let him get away. Not again. She didn’t care if it killed her. If she was going out, her last act was going to be to protecting Alison.

She came back at him full force. She drew back and hit him again, this time in the temple. Metal crashed against bone. He stumbled back and she pulled back and slammed the rail against his temple again. His eyes rolled back and he fell to the ground, unconscious, blood rushing all over his face.

Emily stood over him for a few seconds, tightly gripping her makeshift weapon, waiting for him to open his eyes and come back at her. When he didn’t, she took a few steps back. She felt her adrenaline wearing off. She suddenly felt cold. She dropped the railing and it clanked against the floor. She swallowed hard and fell back against the wall, panting. She slid down to the floor, her eyes fluttering shut.

“Emily…” Ali’s voice was strained, and terrified.

Her voice quickly brought Emily back from the brink of passing out. Ali crawled over to her, still rubbing her neck and coughing. There were red spots that were sure to welt and bruise from where his fingers had been wrapped around her throat. Her body was sore. Bruises were already forming on her arms. She had a gash on her forehead and a cut on her lip. Ali looked at Emily and saw that her index and middle finger were bloody and swollen. Both of them were shaking.

“Ali,” Emily reached her uninjured hand towards Alison’s face, her voice faint and distant, “you’re bleeding.” She lightly traced her fingers over the cut on her forehead.

“Don’t – don’t move,” Ali’s breathing hitched in her throat as she gently touched Emily’s chest. There was blood on her hands, and she wasn’t sure if it was hers or Emily’s. There was more blood on Emily’s gown than she’d seen previously. Ali still couldn’t tell where it was coming from. She popped the buttons of her gown open to look at Emily’s incision again, thinking that maybe she had missed where the blood was coming from the last time she checked. Several more of her skin sutures had popped, but the incision wasn’t completely open. It was bleeding, but it wasn’t the source of the blood that was all over her gown.

Emily’s body tensed up when Ali ran her fingers over her skin.

“God, where is that blood coming from?” Ali's voice caught in her throat. “Where are you hurt?” She ran her hand up the side of Emily’s neck, trying to maintain eye contact with her.

The list of where Emily wasn’t hurt was shorter.

Ali’s knee accidentally grazed Emily’s injured fingers and Emily hissed in pain. Ali looked down and saw that Emily’s hands were covered in blood, too. She delicately lifted Emily’s palm to get a closer look at her injuries. She curled her fingers up underneath Emily’s hand, letting the tips of Emily’s fingers rest against her palm. Ali’s thumb lightly ghosted over Emily’s knuckles. There was a cut on her index finger between the second and third joint oozing blood. Her finger was so swollen that her skin was taut, pulling the gash apart.

“I think they’re broken,” Emily huffed as Ali gently observed them. “I heard…” She took a pained breath, “…something crack…” She shut her eyes, not even trying to put on a brave front for her girlfriend anymore.

Ali had never seen Emily in such agony before. Her pain enraged Ali.

“He’s a dead man. When I find that gun I’m going to blow his head off for doing this to you.” Ali growled angrily. If he wasn’t already dead from Emily’s hits.

Her eyes flickered back towards the bastard. There was a pool of blood around his head. But that wasn’t enough for Ali. She wanted to rip Elliott apart. She wanted to kick him in the face and stomp on his genitals. She heard Emily utter out something between a groan and a gasp and Ali jerked back to look at her. Her lips were pale. Her hands were shaking. Her skin was wet with sweat, but she was cold to the touch. Ali’s hand immediately went to the side of Emily’s neck, feeling a very fast, very weak pulse. Emily blinked slowly, her eyelids sagging. Ali had seen that weird distant look more than once. It was the same look she’d seen on Emily’s face when she’d collapsed outside the loft. It was the same look she’d had before her surgery. She was fading from reality. It scared the hell out of Ali. Because this time the two of them were completely alone. And Ali had no idea what to do.

“Em, hey…stay awake,” Ali put her hands on Emily’s face. Emily’s eyes fluttered again. “Emily, look at me. Stay with me, sweetheart.”

“You’re calling me sweetheart now?” A weak smile washed across her face. “You sap.” Her breathing was hard and ragged, and Ali couldn’t tell if it was from the pain or if she was crashing. “You gonna ask me to dinner and a movie next?”

Ali laughed through her tears.

“Screw dinner and a movie.” Ali rubbed her eyes with her fingers. “We’re going to skip straight to dessert and a nightcap.”

Emily’s eyes twinkled with delight. How old-fashioned of Ali to go for the “nightcap” euphemism instead of the “Netflix and chill” route. Her girl was just full of surprises. Emily smiled, which in turn made Ali smile.

“How about dessert _with_ the nightcap?” Emily suggested.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” It had always been a dream of Ali’s to feed Emily chocolate covered strawberries while licking whipped cream off of her perfectly toned body.

For a split second Emily forgot where she was. Her mind was on how good Ali’s touch felt. She always felt so steady with Ali around. So warm. A jolt in her chest suddenly brought her back to reality. Her neck started to feel heavy. Her head slowly started to sink down. Her eyelids flickered shut.

“No, no, no. Don’t you dare close your eyes.” Ali tightened her grip on Emily’s face. “Come on.” Her hands jerked, involuntarily shaking Emily’s face.

Emily could feel the tips of Ali’s fingers pressing against her cheeks. She could feel Ali’s soft touch, and so much more. Her senses felt heightened. Emily felt everything. The swirls of Ali’s fingerprints, the creases of her joints, every line on her palm. She could feel what Ali was feeling. Determined. Passionate. Afraid.

With her eyes still shut, Emily lifted her right hand up to where Ali’s hand was resting on her cheek. She lightly put her hand on top of Ali’s, her thumb brushing up against the side of Ali’s palm. She could feel everything. She could feel Ali. And all at once she heard,

_“I’m here. I’m right here with you.”_

_“Come back to me.”_

_“Look at me. Focus on me.”_

_“Breathe, baby.”_

_“Listen to me. Concentrate on me.”_

_“I’m with you. You’re safe.”_

_“I’m here, Em. I’ve got you.”_

_“Open your eyes, baby. Just open your eyes and look at me.”_

“Emily, please…” Ali choked out.

“I’m here, Ali,” her voice was quiet, but she was still conscious. “I just…I need…” she felt woozy, but she fought it, “…to catch my breath.”

It hurt to breathe. Her stomach was rising and falling as she took short inspirations.

They heard movement from behind them and Emily’s eyes flickered open, sensing a clear danger, like an animal conditioned to survive a predator in the wild. She looked over Ali’s shoulder and saw Elliott stirring. He shot up out of his unconsciousness, rage in his eyes. He reached down towards his ankle, pulling a gun from a hidden holster there. Emily sucked in a breath to warn Ali, but before she could, Ali whipped her head around and saw him getting to his feet.

“You think you can just come at me like that, Emily?” Elliott cocked the gun. He flipped the safety and aimed at them.

“Elliott, don’t.” Ali shifted her position so she was completely shielding Emily.

“Move, Ali.” Elliott waved the gun back and forth.

“No.” She stood in front of Emily with a defiant look on her face.

Emily wanted to move, but her body was just done. The most she could manage was an angry glare in Elliott’s direction.

“MOVE!” Elliott looked crazed, the blood on his face only adding to his maniacal expression. The gun was shaking in his hand.

Ali stood her ground, daring Elliott to challenge her. If he even so much as made a move towards Emily she was going to go for his jugular. She would rip his throat open with her teeth if it came to that.

“Fine, I’ll just shoot you both.” He shrugged.

He squeezed the trigger just as something came sailing towards him and hit him in the back. The bullet ricocheted, hitting the gurney. It narrowly missed Alison’s left shoulder and Emily’s right thigh. They looked towards the direction where the object had come from. Ali felt a wave of relief when she saw Toby rushing towards them. Somehow he’d managed to escape. Emily and Ali weren’t alone anymore.

Toby barreled towards Elliott, leaping over the fallen gurney and tackling him to the ground. They rolled around. Toby tried to get the gun out of his hands, but Elliott had a death grip on the handle. Elliott managed to get to his feet again and aim at the girls, but Toby popped up beside him and body-checked him. They wrestled over control of the weapon. Seconds later, the gun went off. Elliott shoved Toby backwards. Toby uttered out a grunt and then stumbled backwards down the hallway before falling to the floor clutching his chest.

“Toby!” Emily screamed, her body burning in pain as she yelled for him.

He blinked in surprise when he heard her voice. He’d been so focused on Elliott that he hadn’t seen her behind Ali.

Elliott spun around, a crazed look in his eyes. He aimed the gun at the girls again. Ali slid to the floor, keeping her body in front of Emily’s, knowing that Emily wouldn’t survive being shot on top of her other injuries. Emily saw Elliott aiming at them. Without even thinking, she instinctively threw her arms around Ali. She summoned all the strength she had and pulled Ali to the side, throwing herself over her, curling her body over Ali’s. She pulled Ali into her aching chest and fell on to the ground on top of her. Her words to Ali from just minutes ago echoed in her head,

_“You’re not going to die for me.”_

They heard a gunshot. Emily squeezed her eyes shut. The room was deathly quiet. For a few brief seconds Emily thought she was dead. Her ears were ringing and she felt like she was completely frozen. It’s like she’d been ejected from her body and she was watching everything unfold, like it wasn’t happening to her…but to someone else. But then her senses came back to her. She opened her eyes and looked over at Elliott, quickly realizing that the shot hadn’t hit her or Ali. Elliott was looking down in shock. A bullet had clipped him in the side. Emily and Ali sat up. Had the bullet ricocheted? Knowing that they had no time to question what had just happened, Ali shoved herself off of the ground and sped towards him.

At that moment she didn’t care that he had a gun. She didn’t care that it was aimed at her. She grabbed the metal railing Emily had attacked him with earlier. She curled her fingers around it and she channeled every ounce of rage she had. She glowered at him, her eyes shooting more than just daggers. Her gaze was full of giant flaming samurai blades. She was ready to torch the hell out of him.

She let out a scream as she lunged for him. He pulled the trigger on the gun, but it jammed. She slammed the railing into his hand, knocking the gun across the hall. She drew back and went to hit him in the neck, but he got his arm up to block her hit in time. She heard something crack and he huffed out a pained grunt. She hit him across the face and then made a beeline for the gun. He ran after her, tackling her to the ground. She didn’t stop moving forward. She felt him grab her leg and she reared back and kicked him in the face as hard as she could.

She reached for the gun, but Elliott grabbed her ankle and yanked her backwards. He crawled over her trying to get to the weapon first. She sank her teeth into his leg and they rolled a few feet away from the gun. Elliott ended up on top of her, but she quickly retaliated, shoving her fingers into the hole in his side and twisting roughly. He yelled out, his screams satisfying Ali. He deserved so much worse. She reached up and shoved his head against the wall, silently asking herself how many times she needed to bash his skull in before he was unconscious again.

Elliott managed to get to his feet. He kicked Ali in the ribs. She rolled over and tried to catch her breath. By the time she got to her feet it was too late. Elliott had his hands on the gun and he was aiming at her. He smiled, a menacing grin that said “I win” and put his finger against the trigger.

“Ali, get down!” she heard Toby yell.

She didn’t question it. She hit the floor and heard a shot go off. She looked up and saw that Elliott was staring straight ahead with a fixed gaze. He dropped the gun and looked down in shock. Blood was pouring out of a wound in his sternum. He fell to his knees, blood pooling at the corners of his lip. He gurgled out a distressed agonal breath and then collapsed into a heap on the ground. Red liquid spilled from his mouth as he tried to take a breath. Ali could hear the wet smacking sounds of him choking on his own blood. His body jerked, and then he was still. Ali looked behind her and saw Toby, still lying on the ground. He had the gun Elliott had kicked away from Emily earlier. He’d found it underneath some debris after he fell.

“Oh my God, Toby, are you okay?” Ali asked.

“Kevlar…” He uttered, tapping the vest underneath his clothes. The bullet from Elliott’s gun had merely knocked the wind out of him. “Never leave home without it.” He pushed himself off of the ground with a grunt. “Still hurts like hell though.” He made his way over to Ali. “Are you hit anywhere?” Toby leaned down, offering her his hand to help her stand up.

“No.”

He sidled over to Elliott, leaning down to check his pulse.

“Is he…” Ali asked.

“Extremely.” Toby nodded.

“Good.” Ali snarled through her teeth. Her only regret was that he hadn’t suffered enough.

She crawled over to Emily’s side again.

Toby took in their appearance for the first time since he’d burst in on the scene. Ali looked rough, and Emily looked like hell, though he was more than relieved to see that she was alive. He looked around the hallway. He had no idea what had happened before he’d gotten free, but it looked like there had been a chaotic struggle. There was blood everywhere, and he couldn’t tell whose was whose.

“Are you two okay?” Toby asked.

Ali looked at Emily, who had a vacant expression in her eyes. She turned back to Toby and shook her head.

“Help me,” Ali begged.

“Hey, Em.” Toby leaned down, swallowing when he saw the blood all over her. “Still alive, I see.” Toby ribbed her.

“You too.” Emily’s voice barely sounded like her.

“I can’t…I can’t get the bleeding to stop.” Ali whimpered. “I don’t know where it’s coming from.” She ran her fingers across Emily’s hip, which had a trail of fresh blood running down it.

Emily finally got enough strength to move her arm. She reached up towards Ali.

“I figured it out.” She motioned towards a bloodied piece of medical tape on the back of her uninjured hand. “My IV line was a casualty.” They hadn’t seen it before because she had patches of blood all over her.

Ali took her hand, looking closely at a bump underneath the tape and gauze, and she realized that blood was dripping out from underneath the tape where her catheter was. The IV line had disconnected when she’d tumbled to the floor in the fall off of the gurney. With no pressure from the fluid bag pushing things forward, blood had started oozing out of the fractured piece of plastic.

“We might want to cap it off so the rest of my blood stays inside my body.” Emily suggested.

“Actually, it needs to come out.” Toby took Emily’s hand from Ali. “That catheter has direct access to your vein and with it being exposed you’re at risk for an infection.”

Emily stared at Toby for a minute, wondering why he hadn’t become a doctor instead of a police officer.

“Well, then get it out. After all this if I die from an infection I’m going to be really pissed.” Emily nodded towards her hand.

He gently pulled the tape away and pulled the clear plastic lining away from her skin. He removed the catheter and put gentle pressure on the hole left from the catheter. He ripped a small piece of clean gauze away from the bloodied bandage that had been on her hand and then taped it down in place with another piece of tape from her arm.

“We have to get her out of here.” Ali looked at Toby. “I’ll see if I can find something we can use as a stretcher.”

She stood up. Seconds after she was upright she realized she’d moved too fast. The dizziness was overwhelming. She faltered, but Toby grabbed her before she could fall.

“Hey, slow down.” Toby gently pulled her back to the ground. “You’re both in shock.”

“Oh, good, is that all it is?” Emily forced out a weak laugh. It turned into a pained cough. She held her hand up over her mouth, specks of blood painting her palm red as she hacked. She closed her eyes and groaned.

Ali saw something register on Toby’s face. It was a look she didn’t like.

“What?” Ali uttered.

Toby brushed her off, concentrating on Emily. He pushed his thumb up underneath Emily’s right eye and gently tugged the skin down, retracting the lower lid. He did the same thing to her left eye. Her coloring was pale.

“Em, can you follow my finger?” Toby held his index finger up and slowly passed it in front of her face, waiting for her eyes to follow.

Emily stared at him like he was crazy, but did what she was told.

“Can you breathe okay?” Toby asked.

“Hurts a little bit.” Emily admitted. “I think I cracked a rib. That might be what the problem is.”

“What about your chest? How does it feel?”

“It’s…” Emily’s face scrunched up in discomfort, “…it feels…” She was having a hard time trying to describe how she felt, “it feels…full.”

Just the mention of the pain seemed to make it worse. She slammed her eyes shut. Ali put her palm on Emily’s face, hating to see her in such agony. It wasn’t fair.

“My incision is opening up. Some of my sutures are ripped.” She opened her eyes again and shuffled around to try and get more comfortable.

“The sutures on the outside aren’t what I’m worried about.” Toby put his hand firmly on Emily’s shoulder to keep her from moving. “You need to stay still, Em. You could have internal bleeding.”

Ali’s eyes widened. She looked at Toby in fear. She should have expected it, especially given everything Emily had just gone through, but it still blindsided her to hear it.

“Nonsense, it was just a friendly little post heart-surgery boxing match.” Emily grunted. She started to move her arm, but Ali stopped her.

“Emily, do what he says.” Ali warned, her voice dripping with worry. “If you don’t I will lie down on top of you and keep you still myself.”

“I kinda like that idea.” Emily smiled wryly, trying to hide her pain. Both Ali and Toby could see the grimace hidden behind her smile.

Toby glanced back at Elliott, an idea springing to mind. He walked over to his body and started digging around in his pockets.

“If you’re looking to rip his dick off, it’s a moot point now. We should have done that to him when he was still alive so he could feel it.” Ali looked at Toby in confusion.

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to find his phone so we can call for help.”

Unfortunately, Elliott’s pockets were completely empty. No phone. No car keys. Not even any loose change. He checked Sara’s pockets next.

“Any luck?” Ali asked hopefully.

“No.” Toby shook his head.

“One of them has to have a phone. Sara was texting me while I was at the hospital with Elliott.”

“Did you have your phone on you when you came here?” Toby questioned.

“I left it back at the hospital. The battery was dead.” Ali shook her head. “What about yours?”

“She took it off of me after she knocked me out.” Toby motioned towards Sara. “Something tells me that trying to find a phone in this place would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Finding the way out might be easier…”

He glanced down the hall, another idea forming in his mind. An idea he liked considerably less, because it meant leaving the girls by themselves. But they didn’t have much of a choice at this point. They didn’t have the means to safely transport Emily, and she needed help. Toby pressed his lips together and pinched his brow in thought. His head was pounding. He got so lost in thought he hadn’t realized that Ali had walked over next to him.

“Toby, what are we going to do?” Ali squeaked out.

He’d never heard such pure terror in her voice. Toby looked down the hallway again and sighed.

“Keep her talking,” Toby looked at Emily and then back at Ali. “Keep her conscious.”

“Wha – wait, where are you going?” Ali whined, her eyes pleading with him not to leave.

“I’m going to find help,” Toby said.

“But we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured.” Toby nodded. “But there has to be _something_ out this way. A gas station or a diner. Maybe even a farm. Somewhere that has access to a phone.”

“What if we took Elliott’s car? I could hot-wire it,” Ali suggested.

It didn’t surprise Toby in the least that Ali knew how to hot-wire a car. He’d learned to do it himself when he was younger. But that wasn’t really an option.

“We shouldn’t move her.” He sucked on his lip. He could taste blood in his mouth. “We could make it worse, and if something happens to her we don’t have the right equipment to help her.”

“Don’t leave.” Ali begged. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“Alison, she might be bleeding out. We have to get her back to the hospital. If we don’t…” He didn’t need to finish his statement for Ali to realize where he was going with it.

She pushed down the lump that was forming in her throat and nodded. They walked back over to Emily. Toby leaned down in front of her.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“Fantastic. I feel like a million bucks,” Emily said sarcastically. “I mean, a million bucks that the IRS gutted and tore in half. But still...”

“You keep that humor going. I want you to have written a comedy show by the time I get back here with help.” He gently rubbed her arm.

“I’ll do my best.” Emily nodded.

“Hang tight.” He stood up.

Emily reached out suddenly and grabbed his hand.

“What we talked about in the hospital…”

“You’re going to be fine.” He cut her off. He couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t say goodbye to her again.

“Toby, please…”

_“I have to know someone is looking out for her.”_

He looked into her eyes, and suddenly he was looking into every moment he’d ever had with her. He could see the film that was her life playing in his mind. He saw the enthusiastic four-year-old giggling as she played tag with her dad in their front yard. He saw the sweet six-year-old offering him a cupcake at a neighborhood block party. He saw the cautious ten-year-old dipping her toes into the lake before diving in. He saw the reserved twelve-year-old sneaking away from her own birthday party and hiding out in her backyard, waving to him politely from the bench near her mother’s garden. He saw the shy fourteen-year-old knocking on his door at Thanksgiving because her mother had run out of baking soda and was having a holiday meltdown about it. He saw the withdrawn sixteen-year-old struggling with her identity, her sexuality. He saw the caring eighteen-year-old who showed up at his door with his favorite movies and take-out when he was going through a rough patch with Spencer. He saw the thoughtful twenty-year-old who called him from California because she found a new band she thought he might like. He looked into her eyes and he saw his friendship with her shining back at him.

“The promise still stands, Em,” he sighed, his voice riddled with emotion.

“And will you make sure someone calls my mom? She…I need…” She swallowed hard. “I want my mom.”

“Of course,” he said. He pulled Ali aside. “Do _not_ let her fall asleep.”

“Toby, please hurry.” Ali glanced at him, her fear palpable.

Toby nodded. He ran off to try and find help. Ali sat down next to Emily, folding her legs up underneath her. She carefully pulled Emily as close to her body as she could get without moving her too much. Emily immediately leaned in to her, tilting her head up and looking at Ali out of the corner of her eye.

“We did it.” Emily smiled weakly, her cheek resting against Ali’s shoulder.

“Did what?” Ali asked, nervously tracing her fingers across Emily’s face.

“We survived,” Emily said. “It’s over. It’s finally over.” She looked at the bodies of the two halves that made up _A_. “You were pretty badass going after him like you did.”

“Me?” Ali laughed. “What about you? You could put pro ballplayers to shame with that swing you’ve got, DiMaggio. I thought you were going to take his head clean off. It was really hot.” Ali was smiling, but her tone was melancholy.

“I don’t feel so hot right now.” Emily admitted, looking down.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Ali pushed Emily’s chin up, trying to keep her from breaking eye contact. “We’ll get you patched up and we’ll be going on jet-setting adventures in no time.”

“Yeah,” Emily said, but for some reason Ali didn’t think Emily believed it. There was a beat of silence that made Ali uncomfortable, but before she could say anything Emily spoke again, “Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me?”

Ali opened her mouth to respond, but then paused to consider the question. She’d had feelings for Emily for a long time, before she’d even realized what those feelings had meant. But as far as saying those three little words, she had taken way too long to say them. She hadn’t even been able to form those words the first time they’d had sex. Emily had told Ali she loved her that night, but Ali had just smiled and kissed her instead of saying it back. It was strange to think about, because now those three little words came out as easily as breathing.

Emily could tell that her question had thrown Ali. She slid her right hand on top of Ali’s, careful to mind her injured knuckles.

“It was in the library,” Emily said as she snaked her fingers in between Ali’s. “When you were reading _Great Expectations._ ”

The memory came flooding back to Ali.

 _“That’s why I love you. You’re big on happy endings,”_ Ali had said to her.

Looking back, Ali realized just how much she’d meant the words at the time. She didn’t understand why or how much, but she knew she loved her. She had seen Emily’s kind eyes and she felt Emily’s bright light enveloping her soul.

“You looked at me without any pretenses. I was me and you were you. And you said that, and I knew in that moment that we were going to end up together. I knew you were my girl. I didn’t care what we had to go through to get there.” Emily took a quiet breath. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. It’s always been you, Alison.”

It took a moment for the words to register for Ali. Not because she didn’t already know that, but because she realized what Emily was doing.

“Don’t.” Ali bit her lip, her eyes overflowing with tears. “Don’t you dare say goodbye to me, Emily. We are not going through this again. I am not losing you again. We didn’t go through all of this not to get our happily ever after. You don’t get to die. Not here. Not today.”

Emily smiled at Ali’s determination.

“I don’t know why I ever thought I needed to protect you.” Emily ran her hand over Ali’s wrist. “You’re basically the strongest woman I know.”

“You’ve always protected me, Em.” Ali brushed her fingers through Emily’s hair. “Ever since I met you I knew I could count on you. I…I need you.”

Emily reached up, her fingers grazing Ali’s cheek.

“We’ve had a hell of a run, haven’t we?”

“We’ve still got a bunch of laps to go before we reach the finish line.” Ali fought back her emotions. “You’re going to make it. Do you hear me?”

Emily didn’t respond at first, and Ali felt her heart lurch in her chest.

“Emily, do you hear me?” She asked, a firmer tone this time.

“I always hear you, Ali,” Emily muttered.

Ali saw Emily’s eyes slowly closing and she tried not to panic. She pushed her hand against Emily’s cheek.

“Hey, come back to me, honey.”

“I always do.” Emily’s eyes fluttered open for a brief second, then they closed again.

“Talk to me, Em.” Ali slid her hand against Emily’s neck, lifting her head, trying to keep her awake. “Tell me…tell me your favorite memory.”

“My dad…” Emily’s mouth moved slowly, her words starting to slur. “He…I’m…I think…”

Ali’s body tensed up. She felt a range of emotions and she didn’t know how to deal with any of them. She groaned in frustration.

“Emily Fields, you obstinate pain in my ass, you fight,” she said gruffly. “You’ve fought everything in your life. Everything.” She’d once seen her have an argument with a potted plant, pissed off at it for not thriving enough. “Don’t you dare give up now. You are too stubborn to die, do you hear me?” Ali pressed her hand firmly against Emily’s cheek again. “Come on. Focus. I didn’t come this far just to lose you now.” She begged for Emily to open her eyes. “Emily, come on. You can’t do this to me…” She was afraid she was losing her, so she blurted out the only thing she could think of to get Emily’s attention. “Marry me.”

“What?” Emily’s eyes jerked open. She felt those words in the depths of her soul.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Ali gently pulled away and crawled in front of her, trying to keep her focused. “Marry me.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Are you just asking me because you think I’m going to die?” Emily asked.

“No, I’m asking you because I know you’re going to live.” Ali cradled Emily’s cheeks, holding her gaze.

“Ali…” Her tone wavered in uncertainty.

“I’m serious, Em. I’m dead serious. I knew I wanted to ask you the minute you came back to Rosewood. I was planning on asking your mom for permission, and I was going to pick out the perfect ring.” She sniffled. “I wanted to create this whole scavenger hunt, because you’ve always found me.” Her voice broke. “No matter how lost I got, you found me.” Her hands were warm on Emily’s face. “I was going to pick out all of our special places and fill them with everything you love with notes written on postcards of all the places I want to go with you. It was going to lead to the kissing rock, where next to our initials I was going write ‘will you marry me?’ and I was going to smile at the bashful look on your face and kiss you while you stuttered over your words like you always do when you’re stunned.”

Emily was surprised at how much thought Ali had put into this. She’d clearly been thinking about it a lot longer than Emily could have imagined.

“I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” Tears trickled down Ali’s cheeks.

Emily reached up with her uninjured hand and brushed away her tears. Ali put her hand on top of Emily’s hand to keep her from pulling away and let out a soft cry.

Their relationship had been anything but traditional. It actually made sense to Emily that Ali would propose to her right after they’d both nearly been killed.

“What do you say?” Ali rambled nervously, trying desperately to maintain eye contact with Emily, terrified she was going to slip away. “We can let your mom plan the wedding.”

“She’d like that.” Emily nodded.

“And we can…” Ali tried to stop herself from sobbing, “…we can go to the beach,” she said. “You can teach me to surf. We can spend a summer in Hawaii and we can swim with dolphins, and learn to hula.” She forced out a smile. “God, you’d look so hot in a grass skirt and coconut bra.”

Emily managed a weak chuckle.

“We can go to Vienna for the holidays and see the Christmas lights,” Ali had always loved seeing the way Emily’s face lit up at Christmas, “and you can laugh and make fun of the way I pronounce all the crazy city names. And – and we can go to Paris. We can go to the Eiffel Tower and watch the sunset. I want it with you. I want it all.” She rubbed Emily’s neck with her fingers. “It’s you and me, Em. How about forever?”

Emily slowly lifted her head, her eyes fixed on Ali’s. She blinked and then swallowed hard.

“Ask me again after we get out of this.”

“I will ask you again every day for the rest of our lives.” Ali leaned forward and her lips gently swept against Emily’s lips. The cut on her lip stung as she moved her mouth against Emily’s, but she didn’t care.

Emily pushed back, her lips moving in sync with Ali’s motions. When Ali kissed her she felt so alive. She could feel every cell in her body ignite. She let that passion consume her, the rest of the world falling away. But then she felt a strange tug on her heart. She pulled back and took a shaky breath. Her eyes widened and she started to slide down, Ali quickly catching her in her arms. Ali wrapped her arm around Emily’s shoulders and pulled her in to her body, Emily’s cheek resting against her chest. Emily took in another shaky breath, her eyes still frozen in alarm, searching for comfort in Ali’s gaze.

“Hey, you’re alright. I’ve got you.” She put her palm on Emily’s face, brushing her hair behind her ear.

Emily looked up at her, fighting against the urge to close her eyes. The tightness in her chest was getting worse. Her body felt like it was shutting down.

“I’m so tired, Ali,” Emily mumbled, shivering.

“Just hold on a little bit longer.” Toby had to be on his way with help by now. “I need you to hold on for me.”

Every time Emily’s eyes would start to flutter shut, Ali would bring her back with the sound of her voice and the touch of her hands. Ali tried to keep it together. She could see Emily fading. She could see her slipping away. At one point Emily noticed that Ali had gotten quiet, and when she opened her eyes and looked up she saw that Ali had tears running down her cheeks. Her gaze was fixed straight ahead. She only snapped out of it when Emily stirred in her embrace. Emily pushed herself to sit up.

“Honey, don’t…” Ali tried to stop her from moving, but Emily was already sitting up, leaning towards her, her uninjured hand shaking against Ali’s face.

“Hey…” Emily wanted to tell Ali not to cry, that everything was going to be okay. But the words got caught in her throat.

Her thumb traced a line underneath Ali’s left eye. Ali peered at her, her eyes glistening with tears. Emily stared at her irises. They were so impossibly blue. Had they always sparkled like that? She felt lost in the ocean that was Ali’s gaze.

“Yes,” Emily said, barely a whisper.

“What?” Ali blinked in confusion.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Emily’s hand slid down until her palm was over Ali’s heart and she leaned forward until their lips were touching. A warm sensation washed over her, and for a brief moment she felt no pain. She slowed her movements and closed her eyes. She pulled back, her lips parted.

“I love you, Alison,” she pressed her cheek against Ali’s face and whispered against her ear.

She relaxed into Ali’s shoulder, Ali’s hair feeling soft against her face. Ali felt Emily’s hand slip away from her chest. She pulled back, finding Emily’s eyes closed. She put her palms against Emily’s neck, her thumbs hooking underneath her jaw, her fingertips flat against the side of Emily’s neck trying to get her to open her eyes.

“Emily?” She moved her fingers up against Emily’s cheek. Emily didn’t respond. “Emily!” Her hand flattened out and her fingers tightened against her face. “Em?” Her head was heavy in Ali’s hands. “No. You don’t die here.” Ali ran her fingers through Emily’s hair. “Emily, wake up.” She felt her heart drop in to her stomach when Emily didn’t respond to her voice. “No, no. No. Come on, don’t…please don’t. Don’t do this to me. Don’t leave me alone.” A sob tore from her throat. “Oh, God. Breathe, sweetie. Please…” She pushed her forehead against Emily’s and choked on her cries.

She looked up, not sure who she was talking to…or if anyone was even listening. Did God answer prayers from sinners like her? Her eyes shot to the ceiling, the dark and dank ceiling that was quickly becoming blurry because of her tears.

“Please don’t take her from me.” She let out a distressed squeak and looked down at Emily. “Not now. Not after all this. She believes in happily ever after. She made me believe, too. We deserve it.” She felt her face flushing in anger. “We deserve it goddamnit!”

She pulled Emily closer, letting her face brush up against Emily’s cheek, her lips just centimeters from Emily’s ear.

“Please don’t leave me. This…this isn’t how it’s supposed to end.”

Ali laid her chin over the top of Emily’s head and wrapped her arm around her upper back. She unconsciously started rocking her as she cried. Her tears dripped down her face and into Emily’s hair. She held her tight, bawling her eyes out.

“Baby, please wake up.”

_Just one more miracle. Please. I’ll never ask for anything ever again. Please just let her live._

She begged and she pleaded. She screamed and cried and yelled at God. And she held on to Emily for dear life. And when she felt like there was nothing left to say or do she heaved out a sob and gently put her hand on Emily’s chest.

“I love you, too, Emily.” She kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm a total little shit for doing you guys this way...


	36. Forever (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on “Pretty Little Liars: Matters of the Heart”: A bunch of traumatic shit happened to everyone. That’s it. That’s the story.
> 
> Initially this chapter was 20k+ words, but it's a lot to digest in one sitting and I was only able to finish editing/formatting half, so I split it in two. The final chapter will be up as quickly as I can get through it.

* * *

The ticking of the clock was slowly driving Ali insane. If it was up to her, she would have ripped it off of the wall months ago. All her kids seemed to do was stare at it, and all the clock did for her was annoy her…and remind her of the control that time would always have over her. She hated feeling like she wasn’t in control. She could feel her eyes twitch every time the clock clicked, every second that ticked by felt like a drill-bit digging into her gums. It was annoying her to no end. Then again, she also knew her emotions were heightened.

Today marked the three month anniversary of one of the worst days of her life. Twelve long weeks had gone by since Elliott and Sara had lured her out to the middle of nowhere by kidnapping the love of her life. Both Ali and Emily had fought for their lives that day, or rather, for each other’s lives. It had been messy and brutal. Ali had been through a lot in her life, but that day stood out as the most painful and terrifying thing that had ever happened to her. She still had bad dreams about it. Sometimes she had phantom pains. Her side still ached where her ribs had been bruised after Elliott kicked her. Occasionally, she could still feel his fingers wrapped around her neck. And she had emotional scars that were just as deep. She’d never forget the look in Emily’s eyes. That look that expressed she knew she was dying. It had been unbearable to see. Through it all Emily had tried not to let Ali see how terrified she was. She had tried to bury her fear for Ali’s sake. Ali had been able to feel her slipping away. She’d never forget that sensation, watching Emily dying in her arms. She shuddered. Those scars were going to take much longer to heal. Much longer.

One of her kids made a coughing noise and then meekly called out her name. She snapped out of her daze and quickly realized that, oh yeah, she was supposed to be teaching. She looked at the eyes of her students peering back at her. How long had she zoned out for this time? She cleared her throat and looked at the book in her hand, Aria and Ezra’s book that had come out a month ago. The instant she heard it had been published she bought a bunch of copies for her class. Ali looked at the novel in her hand. She’d read it hundreds of times. It had Ezra’s ideas, but Aria’s narrative. It was a perfect blend of the two of them. And even more, it had a beautiful end. Not happy. Not sad. Just beautiful.

She looked at Emily’s name on the dedication page and ran her fingers over the font. She closed the book and stared at the cover, which had been designed by Aria. It was composed of several of her photographs all blended together to create the title of the book. After taking in all of the familiar images for what felt like the thousandth time she looked at her class.

“If you want a happy ending that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. So, how does that theme relate to _Then and Now_?”

She saw several students avert her gaze, trying to avoid being called on. Several more looked bored and uninterested. She caught a few kids glancing at their phones, trying to be covert about it. Her resident bad seed, Addison Derringer, was boldly typing on her phone, not even trying to hide it.

“Addison, no phones in class,” Ali snapped. “Put it away or I’ll confiscate it.”

Addison shot her an angry glare. Ali met her stare with an unwavering scowl of her own. She was daring the defiant brat to test her.

 _Just give me a reason, Addison._ Her face stated.

Addison rolled her eyes and put her phone away and Ali nodded in satisfaction, a little disappointed that she didn’t get to flame her in front of the class. She repeated the question about endings. It wasn’t easy, either. Talking about endings was incredibly difficult for her, especially given everything she’d gone through. Endings were set. Fixed. Permanent. Endings were forever.

None of her kids spoke up.

“Guys, come on. I don’t ask you for much. I know there’s only three weeks of school left, but a little class participation isn’t going to kill you. Throw me a bone here.” Ali sighed.

The truth was that she couldn’t take the silence any longer. The quiet air had been the worst part about that day three months ago. Sitting there in silence with Emily, limp in her arms. Alone.

Surprisingly, she saw Luke raise his hand. She could see an impish look in his eyes and she knew he was going to throw some smartass answer her way. Still, it was better than nothing, so she called on him.

“Luke?”

“The best ‘happy endings’ are the ones at _The Tiki Touch Spa_.” He grinned, lifting his brows.

 _You little shit._ She thought to herself.

The class snickered. Ali actually had to fight back a laugh herself. She couldn’t be mad at him. She'd known that’s exactly what he was going to say.

“I don’t recall any massage parlors in the novel.” Ali pushed her lips together in a tight smile. “Let’s just stick to the material and leave the stand-up routines to the professionals.”

“Ohhh…” Luke’s friend next to him laughed and poked him, clearly saying ‘you just got owned’.

“I was just kidding.” Luke smiled sheepishly. “I actually did read the book.”

“And what was your take on the ending?”

“Well, it’s all about perspective.” Luke shrugged. “Like, a happy ending for some people might be a sad one for another. Look at the movie _Jaws_. Happy ending, right? All the good guys survive, it’s all smiles, woo hoo, humans win. But if you twisted it around and looked at it from the shark’s point of view, it would be different. Like, what if Jaws had his own little family somewhere out there in the big blue beyond and he was just out in the ocean doing what sharks do…cruising the beach, munching on what he thinks is food, and he dies and his family never sees him again. It would be a sad ending for that little shark family.”

 _This kid is really comparing a Spielberg horror film to a tragic love story._ She loved him for it.

“In _Then and Now_ , the ending is a little bit of both. I think it’s natural to feel a little sad when things end. Endings are inherently sad, because it’s all about saying goodbye to something. But at the same time, you get to look back at everything that got you there, and you get to be the one who chooses whether you want to remember the bad stuff or the good stuff.”

The way he’d phrased it sounded so much like Emily that Ali had to smile. One of the first things she’d ever learned from her was how to see the light in the darkness.

“With any good book, you don’t want it to end. Because even if your favorite characters are happy, you’re still sad that it’s ending,” Luke finished.

“Exactly.” Ali nodded in approval, proud of the little devil for actually putting some thought in to it, though not surprised, as he was a very bright kid.

“Whatever.” Addison had a look on her face like she’d smelled something bad.

“You have a different take, Addison?” Ali tasted venom when she said the girl’s name.

Addison looked at her with an arrogant smirk on her face.

“Yeah, my take being that you’re just using this assignment as a platform to promote your friend’s book sales.”

Before Ali could respond, Luke was all over Addison’s case.

“That doesn’t even make any sense. We didn’t even have to buy it. All we had to do was read it.”

“No one asked you, hobo-boy.” Addison snapped.

“That’s enough, Addison.” Ali raised her voice.

“Dyke,” Addison mumbled under her breath.

“Excuse me, what was that?” Ali tried to remain calm, remembering that it was illegal to punch her students. Though the fact that she even needed that reminder spoke to just how despicable this child was. Addison Derringer was the reason idiots should use birth control.

“Why are you so focused on me? God.” Addison sniped. “Are you trying to flirt with me or something? That’s inappropriate. I should go to the principal about this…”

“Jesus, Addison, what is your problem?” Luke questioned.

“I don’t have a problem. Just stating the facts.”

“The facts are this: the subject here is about the themes in _Then and Now_. If you don’t have anything constructive to add, just sit there quietly until the bell rings.” Ali grit her teeth to keep from flying off the handle.

Addison looked at Ali, her face rigid, but smarmy.

“Fine.” She smiled, lifting her brows. “I’ve got something to add.” She rolled her fingers around her bracelet. “It’s a little ironic, isn’t it?” Addison smirked. “ _You_ teaching us about happy endings? What with your life basically playing out like _Final Destination_? Everyone around you seems to die.”

Addison’s verbal assault knocked the wind out of her. She wasn’t really sure how to respond at first. Usually when she was being attacked her natural instinct was to throw a punch.

_You can’t hit her. You’ll go to jail. You can’t hit her. You’ll go to jail._

Then she thought about how satisfying it would be to smack her, and going to jail didn’t seem so bad. It would be worth it. Plus, she could probably get out of it with one phone call to Spencer. Before Ali could reprimand her, Luke spoke up again.

“Lay off.” Luke looked over at Addison, his goofy undertone completely replaced with something more sinister.

“Or what, Teacher’s Pet?” Addison rolled her eyes.

“Or I’ll tell that jockstrap boyfriend of yours what you’ve really been doing after school this week…and with who.”

That elicited a collective “ooohh” from the class, who was watching their fight more intently than they ever had any lesson that Ali had ever given.

“You don’t have the stones.”

“Try me.” Luke challenged.

Ali quickly broke up their dispute and then seconds later the bell rang. Most of the kids rushed out of the classroom. Addison took her time, staring at Ali with an insolent expression. As she was walking by, Ali put her arm up in front of the door and handed her a slip of paper.

“What’s this?” Addison frowned at the paper.

“Two weeks detention.” Ali glared at her. “Don’t you _ever_ act like that in my class again. You may think you’re winning the battle here. But trust me, I will win the war.” She lowered her voice in a threatening manner.

“He disrupted class, too.” Addison motioned towards Luke, who was still packing up his things. “Why isn’t he in trouble?”

“Because he isn’t a spoiled little brat who thinks it’s okay to disrespect and mistreat people.” Ali growled. “Shape up, Addison. Because I’m here to tell you, the world eats people like you alive.”

That seemed to shake her a bit. She frowned at Ali and then glared at the paper with her detention notice as she walked out of the room, silently mumbling to herself. Ali walked back over to her desk. Luke zipped up his bag and walked up to her desk.

“Is there something I can help you with, Luke?” Ali asked.

“No. I’m good. I just, um…” Luke shifted his feet nervously. “I wanted to see if like…everything was okay with you? You were kinda spacey earlier. I know you’ve been through a lot and all, and I just thought I’d…I dunno, check in? Is – is that okay? Am I allowed to do that?”

 _Bless this little deviant._ Ali thought to herself.

“Everything is fine.” Ali smiled warmly. “Thank you. I appreciate you asking.”

“Sure. No problem.” He nodded. He glanced towards the door. “What Addison said about you wasn’t cool. She’s a real ignorant piece of work. For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty rad. And I thought you should know that you’re not alone. A bunch of us here really appreciate you, and I just wanted you to know I got your back.”

 _Can I adopt this goofy floppy-haired dork?_ She really did love this kid. He was like a scruffy stray dog that stole pizza from unsuspecting passerbys and bounced around in the rain, chasing his tail, making the best out of life.

“That’s very sweet. But you don’t have to take on my battles for me,” Ali said.

“I know.” He shrugged. “But it felt like the right thing to do.” He had a genuine smile on his face. “Plus, I’ll take any chance I can get to rattle Addison’s cage. She’s a royal pain in the ass.” He grinned as he walked out the door quickly so she couldn’t reprimand him for cursing.

She certainly wasn’t going to chase him down to lecture him about it, because it was completely true. Ali chuckled as she packed up her things, glaring at the clock as she did so. Usually she stayed a little later, but today she had somewhere else she had to be. She’d been avoiding it for weeks, but she was at a point where she couldn’t ignore it anymore. So she drove by the floral shop to pick out some flowers and then forced herself to take the trek out to her destination. When she got there she turned the car off and stared out the windshield.

A distant siren jolted her nerves, sending her right back to three months ago. Suddenly she was reliving that day. She had been in a complete state of shock when the paramedics and police had arrived. They’d had to pry her away from Emily, kicking and screaming. The next thing she knew she was lost in a sea of people in uniform outside the farm, fighting against them and trying to get back to Emily. One of the EMTs had said something about possibly needing to sedate her to calm her down and she completely lost it.

She vaguely recalled Toby pushing his way through the crowd of police and EMTs. He’d tried to comfort her, but she was too far gone for him to reach. It was only when Spencer, Aria, and Hanna had come through the crowd minutes later that Ali had stopped screaming. She’d blinked in surprise and then fell into Spencer’s embrace, unable to form coherent sentences. All that came out was a jumbled blubbering mess.

She didn’t remember the ride to the hospital. She only remembered being hysterical by the time they wheeled her in for treatment. Joyce had been there. She had tried to talk her down from her fit.

 _“Alison, sweetheart, you have to let us take care of you,”_ she’d said calmly.

Ali had become a little less agitated when she felt Joyce’s warm hand on her arm. But the second Joyce walked away to get something one of the doctors needed, another wave of grief had hit Ali and she fell apart again. And without Joyce’s familiar face to center her, she’d fallen into another state of hysteria. The doctors kept telling her that she needed to settle down so they could treat the gash on her head and then XRay her because of the blows she’d suffered to her ribs and abdomen during her struggle with Elliott. She’d fought against them, crying out for Emily. It had taken an entire team to hold her down to get her sedated. One of the doctors had made a comment about how insane it was that someone so small was so strong. She’d managed to get her wrist free and had “accidentally” clocked him in the jaw before the sedative took effect. Twice.

Ali shook herself back in to reality. She had been trying to get better about not thinking about that day, because the truth was she still blamed herself. For what happened to Emily. For all of it. She had been trying to find a way to move forward. That was part of why she was here today.

She stared out at the cemetery in front of her. She reached over into the passenger’s seat and grabbed the flowers she’d picked out. Every time she looked at flowers all she could think about was the day that Emily had filled the house with flowers ‘just because’. Little things like that always made her smile.

She walked through the plush green grass glancing at all the graves and shuddering at the amount of death this town had produced. When she got to the headstone she was looking for she couldn’t help but stop and stare. It still didn’t feel real. None of what had happened felt real. She stood in front of the grave, clutching the flowers, willing herself not to feel any emotions.

She traced her fingers over the top of the headstone, her thoughts distant. She hated this place. It was nothing more than a reminder of everything she’d lost in her life. She sighed, looking up at the sky. The clouds were out. Of course the clouds were out. What would a visit to a cemetery be without a sad gray sky to make the living feel like they were a part of the dead?

After a few minutes she looked back down at the grave. She knew she was going to feel like an idiot talking to a slab of granite. It had never felt right to her, talking to someone that wasn’t there. She’d always found it morbid and weird when people talked to the dead. But she had so much she needed to say.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” She stared down at the ground. “I’m not really good at this kind of thing. You know that. I’ve got a bad habit of running from my problems.” She ran her fingers up the stems of the flowers. “I’ve spent the past three months figuring out what I wanted to say to you.” She dragged her foot across the ground next to the headstone. She frowned. “I never thought we’d end up here. After everything that happened I thought we were going to have another shot. I thought ‘who doesn’t deserve a second chance?’” Ali shook her head, refusing to cry. She was going to get through this without crying. “I loved you. We were supposed to be a family.” She unconsciously started to hold the flowers tighter. “But then you went and you…you just…” She didn’t want to feel these things. She didn’t want to feel so mad, but she couldn’t stop it, “God, I’m so angry at you that I can’t stand it.” She growled. “None of this was supposed to happen.”

She looked at the gravestone, and before she could get control of herself she was flinging the flowers at it, hitting it in frustration. Petals fell to the ground. Leaves fell everywhere. She dropped the bouquet, the flowers scattering all over the place. Ali stared at the mess, her outburst not making her feel any better. She closed her eyes and got control of her emotions. She opened her eyes and took a breath.

“I’m sorry. That’s not why I came here,” she said quietly. “You have to understand that this isn’t easy for me. I constantly think about how different things could have been. But I can’t keep living in my head like that. I’m still here. And you’re not. And I have to learn to be okay with that. I have to just accept everything that happened. I have to let go,” she sighed. “Everything I’m holding on to, I’ve got to let go.” She bent down, her hand on the granite, her voice soft, “I don’t have the strength to be angry anymore.” She looked at the flowers she’d thrown astray. “So, I just wanted to say that…” She took a deep breath, “…that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the pain. And…I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. You deserved better.”

She heard a noise behind her.

“Alison?” A familiar voice called out to her.

Ali turned around and saw Pam walking towards her. Ali pushed herself to her feet to greet her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Pam smiled weakly, her eyes watery with tears.

“You didn’t,” Ali replied softly. If anything, it was nice to see a familiar face to help her curb her emotions. “I just…” She drifted off, glancing at the scattered flowers on the ground.

Pam’s gaze followed Ali’s eyes and she saw the flowers strewn about. It didn’t take her long to figure out what had happened. Pam leaned down to gather the arrangement. She put it back together and handed it to Ali. Ali looked away shamefully.

“Hey.” Pam put her palm on the girl’s face, a motherly touch that Ali needed so desperately at the moment. “It’s okay to be angry. You’re allowed to be mad at her. I get angry sometimes, too.”

Ali nodded. She looked at the flowers in her hands. They were a little battered and broken, but they were still beautiful. She slipped the stems into the small vase on the headstone. She stood with Pam in silence for a few minutes and then turned to face her.

“Thank you,” Ali said.

“For what, dear?”

“For Emily. For raising her to be the kind of person who could love someone like me,” Ali replied. “And for being my family.” The past three months, Ali and Pam had gotten closer than either of them had ever thought possible.

Pam nodded and reached up, gently rubbing her hand over Ali’s arm. Pam’s touch felt so similar to Emily’s that she got goosebumps on her arm.

“I should get going.” Ali glanced at her watch. “Are we still on for dinner this weekend?”

“Same time, same place.” Pam smiled.

Ali left the cemetery, her heart just the faintest bit lighter after the visit. She took her time on the drive home so she could process her feelings. She’d tried to be better about accepting her emotions lately. She knew bottling things up wasn’t good for her. By the time she got home she was finally at ease. She walked inside. She paused at the entryway, looking around her house. She put her keys down and tossed her things on the table by the door.

She heard a noise. Her brother had stayed over last night. He’d come in to town on business yesterday. She walked past the couch and towards the kitchen.

“Jason?” Ali called as she crossed the living room, unable to contain her smile thinking about the last time he’d been in the kitchen. He’d basically set a pan on fire. “You better not be cooking. You know I’ve banned you from everything but the microwave. I don’t really feel like calling the fire department to rescue me.” She walked into the kitchen.

The voice that answered her was not her brother’s.

“Jason left to take care of something at the office.” She turned around, her chocolate eyes meeting Alison’s surprised gaze. “Besides, did you really think I’d let him near the kitchen again after he turned my mother’s good skillet into charred scrap metal?” She walked over and embraced Ali, lightly kissing her lips.

“Well, this is a nice surprise.” Ali leaned forward, kissing her back. “I thought you had an appointment this afternoon.”

“It’s not until five.” Emily pulled back, glancing at the digital clock above the stove. “You’re home early.” She realized.

 _Home._ God, that sounded so good coming out of Emily’s mouth, considering neither one of them thought Emily would ever set foot in their home again.

She’d had close calls before, but never as involved as what had happened out at the slaughterhouse. No one should have survived everything Emily had survived. No one. But against all odds…she had. Everything that led to her survival had aligned just the way it should have that day. The fact that Mona took things into her own hands instead of trusting the police to do it by tapping into the dispatch for the emergency response units in Rosewood and _all_ of the neighboring cities and towns, sending every single one of them out to the address where Ali and Emily were. The fact that Toby had run in to Spencer and the girls on his way to find help, arriving back at the slaughterhouse just in time to direct the paramedics on where they needed to go. The fact that the blood loss Emily suffered coupled with her blood pressure bottoming out slowed the internal bleeding in her chest caused by the trauma Elliott had inflicted upon her. If _anything_ , if _one_ little thing, had been different Emily would have died. Fate. Kismet. The butterfly effect.

Elliott’s attack had undone most of the work the surgeons had done to repair Emily’s heart, including the repair to the tear in her heart that the car accident had caused. That tear opening up had caused the space around her lungs to fill with blood. She’d been struggling to breathe before she lost consciousness. Her breaths had become slower and weaker until the tension in her chest eventually became too tight for her lungs to get the air they needed. Her breathing rapidly declined once she collapsed in Ali’s arms.

Ali had tried her best to rouse her. All she’d been able to think about was Toby telling her not to let Emily fall asleep. When Emily didn’t respond, Ali had known it was the beginning of the end. She had held her and begged her to breathe. And she had watched her slip away, Emily’s body heavy in her arms. Emily’s chest had completely stopped moving. In a matter of minutes, her lips were tinged blue. Ali had tried giving her mouth to mouth, but Emily was barely able to take in the air because her lungs were starting to fill with blood. Ali could taste the coppery flavor of blood on Emily’s lips. She tried like hell to breathe for her, afraid that she might be making it worse, but more afraid of not doing anything at all. She was determined to get her breathing again, but then she’d pushed in a breath and when she pulled back to draw in another breath a pink frothy substance had bubbled out of Emily’s mouth. Ali had searched for her pulse, and had been devastated when she didn’t find one.

Seconds later the EMTs had found them, Ali holding Emily’s lifeless body and sobbing. One of the paramedics had pulled a completely hysterical Ali away from her and dragged the bloody blonde out to the ambulance to try and treat her injuries while the other EMTs stayed with Emily to assess her. What Ali and the others didn’t know at the time was that even though Emily wasn’t breathing, by some miracle, she still had a pulse. It was weak and extremely slow, but it was there. So the paramedics had carefully gone to work on her, trying to get an airway open to get her the oxygen she needed. Once they realized she was still hanging on they’d performed an emergency thoracostomy, putting a tube in her chest to drain the blood that had built up from the internal bleeding and then they’d radioed for air medical transport.

And while the paramedics were trying to keep Emily alive as they waited on a helicopter to life-flight her to the hospital, Alison and Toby were being transported via ambulance to the hospital to treat their injuries. Spencer and the girls had followed, trying to wrap their heads around the fact that they’d come so close to getting Emily back only to lose her again, not realizing that Emily Fields still had one of her nine lives left. She was fighting, like she always fought. At the very same moment that Emily was being taken into emergency surgery, Ali was screaming at the doctors and nurses trying to tend to her injuries, thinking she’d lost Emily forever.

Ali had woken up from her sedation pissed off and heartbroken. Spencer and Aria had been by her side the second she opened her eyes to keep her from leaping out of the bed and flipping it over and she-Hulking out on the room. Before Ali could lash out, Spencer blurted out something that Ali hadn’t been expecting to hear.

 _“She’s alive, Alison. Emily’s alive.”_ She’d gotten the news from Pam Fields shortly after Ali had been sedated.

Ali had stared blankly at her friends.

 _“But…but I saw…”_ Her face had scrunched in confusion. She’d watched Emily take her last breath. She’d felt for a pulse and she couldn’t find one. _“She…she wasn’t…I…I saw her stop breathing.”_

 _“Her heart was still beating.”_ Barely, but it was. _“They got her back, Ali.”_ Aria had rubbed her arm in her comforting Aria way.

Hearing it didn’t feel real to Ali. She quickly assumed she’d died with Emily and that they were going to get to spend eternity together that way, but when Hanna came in seconds later with an update from Pam, Ali knew that she wasn’t dead…and neither was Emily. Emily had fought her way back for Ali. One last time.

_One more miracle._

Ali had all but lunged out of the hospital bed and ran through the hospital until she found Pam. Somehow, seeing Emily’s mother with her own eyes was what she needed to reassure her that it wasn’t over. Pam had seen the state she was in and had immediately embraced her in a hug, stifling her own tears to wipe away Ali’s. Ali had sobbed into her shoulder, part despair, part relief. Pam had rubbed her back, calming her down. Pam’s comforting touch was so much like Emily’s that it settled her. She felt like Emily was there with her, telling her everything was going to be okay. Pam was confident that her daughter would pull through. Optimism ran in the family. And it was something that Ali sorely needed.

The doctors had opened Emily’s chest back up to find and repair the source of the bleeding. They’d done everything they could to reverse the damage that had been done, including repeating the surgery to repair her heart again. By the time they’d finished they’d had to put her on life-support, because she wasn’t breathing on her own. Ali had freaked out when she heard that Emily was on a ventilator, because all she could think about was the doctor talking to Emily about the DNR before her first surgery.

The doctor quelled her fears immediately. Come to find out, Emily hadn’t signed the DNR. She hadn’t had it in her to give up. She’d wanted extraordinary measures. She’d wanted any shot that gave her a chance of a future with Ali. The doctors weren’t optimistic about her survival, but Pam and Ali refused to hear the idea that Emily wouldn’t come back from it. They knew Emily, and they knew she would fight like hell to come back. She’d already defied every single odd that existed. What was one more?

When they were first let in to see her after surgery, Ali had felt a wide range of emotions. She’d hated seeing Emily hooked up to so many tubes and machines, but at the same time she was so thankful that she was alive that she was able to look past that. As Pam talked to the doctor, Ali had slowly made her way over to Emily’s bedside, wanting to hold her hand. Her eyes fell to the cast on the hand with her broken fingers, which had required surgery to get pins put in her shattered bones. Alison’s gaze then fell upon Emily’s face. She’d stared at her girlfriend, watching her chest rise and fall…something she thought she’d never see again.

She’d only snapped out of it when Pam told her it was okay if Ali wanted to touch her, which Ali was extremely quick to do. She’d taken Emily’s uninjured hand in hers and kissed her forehead.

 _“I’m here, Emily,”_ she’d whispered. _“I’ll be right here when you wake up.”_

The doctors had encouraged them to talk to her, hoping she might respond. Ali had barely left her side the first twelve hours. Pam had to pry her away from Emily to force her to eat and drink. The woman had basically been Ali’s rock through it all. The urge to mother Ali was in Pam’s blood. It also served as a good distraction from the fact that her daughter had nearly died and was now fighting for her survival.

Emily had been on the ventilator for almost 48 hours before the doctors saw any improvement. Though she was still in critical condition, they were seeing things that led them to believe she could pull through. They’d kept her in a medically induced coma for ten days while her internal injuries healed and then slowly weaned her off of the ventilator. Ali and Pam had both been there when she’d started to breathe on her own. They’d seen her fighting to breathe against the machine, and that’s when they knew she was going to be okay. Hearing her breathe on her own had been one of the best sounds Ali had heard in her entire life. And seeing her beautiful brown eyes open was something Ali would treasure for the rest of her life. She had wanted to smother her with kisses and crawl in the bed next to her and wrap her arms around her and never let her go. Instead she’d just squeezed her hand and relished in the feel of Emily’s warm cheek under her palm and settled for a teary-eyed,

_“Hey, baby.”_

Emily had been groggy and unable to talk, but she had weakly squeezed Ali’s hand back and smiled. God, her smile melted Ali from the inside out. And now here they were three months later, that smile melting her all over again. She felt Emily’s velvety lips on her forehead.

“Alison?” Emily put her hand on Alison’s cheek. She hadn’t missed the distant look on Alison’s face. She could tell her thoughts were a million miles away. “You okay?”

Ali nodded.

“Where’d you go?” Emily’s palm slid down to her neck.

Ali looked at her, reminding herself that Emily was alive. She had survived. Against all odds, she had survived. She’d come back to her. She was here. She was standing right in front of her.

“Nowhere.” Ali slipped her hand up Emily’s arm. “I’m always right here. With you.” She leaned forward to capture Emily’s lips with her own.

When she pulled away, Emily ran her fingers through Ali’s hair.

“I think about it sometimes, too,” Emily said quietly.

She knew exactly what was on Ali’s mind, because she still had flashes to that day, too. She didn’t remember everything. Just bits and pieces. She remembered gunshots. And blood. Lots of blood. She remembered Elliott trying to rip her incision open. She remembered Ali holding her, her soft hands on her face, begging her to stay awake. And she remembered every word of Ali’s teary proposal. In fact, when she woke up in the hospital she was surprised she didn’t have a wedding ring on, because it would have been just like Ali to drag some minister in to marry them while Emily was unconscious. Then again, she had a bulky cast on her left hand because of her broken fingers. She’d made some quip about Ali not being able to put a ring on her finger because of the cast, and Ali had looked at her like she wanted to both kiss her and slap her.

“We just have to remember that we’re not in that place anymore.” Emily softly traced her thumb over Ali’s cheekbone, feeling the muscles underneath her hand stretching as Ali smiled underneath her touch.

Emily was right. There was no more _A_. No more torture. No more murder charges. And no more Tanner. The cops had been able to piece together what had happened through what Ali and Toby had told them. And even better, they had Joyce as an eyewitness, too. After everything had come out, Emily’s favorite nurse had realized that the temp nurse she’d found in Emily’s recovery room stripping her bed was actually Sara Harvey. Sara had apparently been trying to get rid of any evidence she might have accidentally left behind. Once Joyce realized what had happened she immediately went to the police and identified Sara, backing up Ali’s and Toby’s story. Joyce’s testimony made what the others were telling the cops air-tight. Sara had drugged Emily and moved her while Elliott falsified her records, making it seem as though she’d died after surgery. In addition to the eyewitness accounts, the police had pulled the texts from Ali’s phone and they found explosives at the slaughterhouse. Once they realized that Elliott had planned the whole thing and that Sara had faked her death on the security footage, the case was open and shut.

“I thought about finding his grave and stomping on it when I went to visit Charlotte today,” Ali admitted.

“I would have been insulted if you had done that without me.” Emily laughed. That needed to go on their bucket list.

“I ran into your mom there,” Ali said.

“Yeah, she tries to get out there to visit my dad twice a week.” Emily nodded.

“She caught me in a…moment.” Ali tried to look away to hide her shame, but Emily pulled her face back to meet her gaze.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about, Alison,” Emily said, her hands slid down to the sides of Ali’s neck. She wanted Ali to really hear her when she said that.

“I hate myself for missing her.” Ali cringed, glancing down sadly.

“Charlotte was a part of Elliott’s game. He used her the same as he used everyone else.”

Ali’s sister had done terrible things, but she was to be pitied. She was a victim, too, though she never knew it. Elliott had used and manipulated her, too. Who knows what would have happened had she never met him? Ali might have had a happy and well-adjusted sister. But the fact of the matter was, Charlotte _had_ met Elliott and she had gone along with everything he did.

“She let him torture you, Emily.”

Charlotte hadn’t been directly involved in hurting Emily in the dollhouse, but she’d stood by and let Elliott hurt her, and that haunted Ali every day. How could she love someone who could do something like that? How could she care about someone who would hurt the girl she loved so much? She felt guilty for loving Charlotte. But she also felt sorry about the fact that her family was the reason Charlotte had been pushed into Elliott’s arms in the first place. She hated that even the five years she’d spent with her sister had meant less to Charlotte than Elliott and Sara had meant to her. And she hated that she hadn’t been enough of a family for Charlotte. She hadn’t been able to give her sister a second chance.

“Being angry at her isn’t going to change anything that happened. All that does is poisons your happiness.”

Ali stared at Emily in amazement. Sometimes it still surprised her that despite everything Emily had gone through she _still_ had her positive outlook on life. She was still Ali’s sweet and sunny Emily.

“How is it that despite all the darkness, you still see the light?” Ali asked.

“Because I know how lucky I am.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because I have you.” Emily pulled her in for a hug. Ali was overwhelmed by her scent. She had a scent that was just so uniquely Emily. She loved that smell. She loved waking up every morning and smelling it. “Look, everything that happened…that’s our past. It made us who we are. Scars and all.” She pulled back, placing a soft kiss on the small scar on Ali’s head, a remnant of her fight with Elliott. “And scars heal. What’s important is our future. We’ve got here and now.”

“I know.” Ali nodded. That’s exactly why she’d gone out to visit Charlotte today. She knew she had to let go of everything that was haunting her. She had to forgive Charlotte for being weak. And she had to forgive herself for not being enough for her sister.

“You asked me for forever, Ali.” Emily slid her hand down and linked her fingers with Ali’s. “We have so much ahead of us. You and me…”

“…in Sweet Paree.” Ali smiled.

Emily chuckled. She hadn’t been cleared for travel yet, but they were already planning their vacation destinations. And since Emily couldn’t travel, Ali was bringing the vacations to her. Ali hadn’t been lying about the postcards of places she wanted to go with Emily. She’d been leaving little love notes for Emily once a week since she’d regained consciousness in the hospital. They had kept Emily for an additional ten days after she woke up, leaving Ali with a ton of time to plan her little weekly love letters. Of course, the postcards weren’t enough for Ali. It didn’t have enough flair. She wanted to go bigger. Flashier. So she’d been surprising Emily with events that were themed to match the destinations on the postcards.

The first one had been Hawaii. Emily had opened her eyes one morning in the hospital to find her room completely decked out with island paradise apparel. Pam had helped Ali put it together. Joyce had even gotten in on the festivities by making a tropical fruit tray complete with palm trees made out of bananas, kiwis, and mandarin oranges. Joyce had helped Ali talk the doctors and nurses into wearing leis and she’d swept the visitation restrictions under the rug so Aria, Hanna, and Spencer could participate, too. Aria had played the ukulele while Spencer and Hanna did their best version of a luau. Spencer had stuck to the basic luau, but Hanna had done a routine to rival Timon from _The Lion King_ , leaving them all in stitches.

A week later, when Emily got home she walked into a replica of a Parisian street in Ali’s living room complete with feather-topped centerpieces that were illuminated by a light underneath them that projected shadows of the Eiffel Tower all over the room.

A week after their “adventure” in Paris, Ali had set up an Austrian-themed light show in the backyard. They’d laid together under the stars as the sun set. Before the night ended, Ali gave her a snowglobe that had been imported from Vienna, with a little help from her world-traveling brother. He’d visited the antique shop where the very first snowglobe that had ever been made was produced. When Emily had gasped and told her it was too much, Ali just rolled her eyes and told her to shut up and then kissed her.

As the weeks went on, Ali continued to surprise Emily. A gondola ride on the lake with classic Italian music. A Greek themed dinner complete with candles that had twines of olive-leaves tied around them. A night in the park with classical music from Prague filling the air, complete with slow sensual dancing. A picnic in a beautiful part of the woods that Ali had transformed into Bali with traditional Indonesian fabric. A Thai themed festival of light complete with floating candles, paper lanterns, and various orchids, lilies, and lotus flowers. A romantic Latin themed fiesta with bright bold decorations and music and dancing.

Emily blushed every single time Ali surprised her, and Ali just adored seeing her look like the bashful teenager she fell in love with. Emily had always known what a romantic Ali was at heart. And experiencing it was like nothing Emily had ever felt before. Emily wanted to do everything Ali wanted to do, and more. Though to be fair, she would do anything and go anywhere as long as Ali was there.

“Speaking of world travels, are Hanna and Caleb going to make it tonight?” Ali asked. The two honeymooners had been in Tuscany the last ten days.

“Yeah. I talked to Hanna earlier. Their plane gets in at 4:30.” Emily chuckled. “I had to give her a run-down on what the book is about.”

Ali and Emily were throwing a congratulatory surprise party for Ezra and Aria, as their book had been opted for a movie deal. They had signed on as producers to keep the authenticity of their writing alive in the transition from paper to screen.

“Not that I can blame her for being a little behind in the loop.” Emily added. Hanna had been so wrapped up in her wedding and her honeymoon that basically nothing aside from Emily almost dying registered in her brain lately.

“I doubt very seriously those two have gotten much reading done.” Ali smirked suggestively.

“I doubt they even left the hotel.” Emily nodded with a laugh. “They’re probably even part of the mile high club at this point.”

“We’ll get there soon.” Ali kissed her, holding her position for just a little bit longer than their last kiss. She pulled back and kissed her jaw. Then she grazed Emily’s ear. Emily blew out a satisfied breath.

“Can’t wait.” Emily smiled.

“What’s that?” Ali glanced at a box on the table.

“I was unpacking some stuff from my place in Cali.”

Since Emily couldn’t travel, Jason and Toby had volunteered to pack up Emily’s place on the west coast and bring it back to Rosewood for her. Before Emily could tell them that it wasn’t necessary and that she’d figure it out, Ali told them to do it. Emily had done so much for Ali that all Ali wanted to do now was take care of her girl. And since Emily wasn’t in any position to argue, Ali got her way. She had done a lot for Emily. More than Emily ever could have asked for. She’d even met with Jason about making sure Emily’s hospital bills were taken care of. He’d jumped at the chance to help. They’d worked it out so their non-profit organization covered it. Jason told Ali he wouldn’t have it any other way. To him, Emily was family.

“I’m trying to find this really cute picture of Aria and Ezra that I have so I can showcase it tonight.” Emily walked over to the box and started digging through it. “It’s the one where they’re goofing around at Thanksgiving where he’s wearing her headband and she’s wearing his tie, and they both look like complete dorks.” She smiled. “It’s my favorite picture of them. I’ve been through a few boxes, but I can’t find it.”

Ali would have been thrilled that Emily was unpacking her things, because she loved that Emily lived with her for good now, but she was a little worried about Emily over-doing it.

“Aren’t your boxes on the top shelf in the garage?” Ali asked, biting her lip in concern.

“They have these magical things called ladders. Maybe you’ve heard of them. They made a whole kids game out of it with chutes.” Emily teased her.

“Em, you’re not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting.”

“I’m climbing a step-ladder. Not Mount Kilimanjaro.” Emily’s brow crinkled as she gave Ali a look to let her know she was being paranoid. “Besides, I haven’t been moving anything heavy.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be taking it easy?”

Emily was doing better, but her heart was still healing. Once she got on the right medications she'd started to improve. They’d started a new treatment regimen and it was working, and though her heart would never fully recover, she wouldn’t get any worse. The doctors were optimistic about her future.

“Ali, I can handle a few boxes.” Emily couldn’t help but chuckle at her overprotection. “Jeeze, at least let me have my dignity.”

“Dignity has nothing to do with it.” Ali gave her a look that bordered on motherly. “You were given very specific instructions not to overexert yourself.”

“Yeah, _six weeks ago_.” Emily reminded her. “They lifted those restrictions two weeks ago. My physical therapist said that I can handle a little activity at this point.”

“She meant that you could start low impact aerobic exercises, not become a one woman moving crew.” Ali scoffed.

“You are worse than my mother.” Emily rolled her eyes, then laughed and kissed the tip her nose. “I’ll get you a note from my doctor today, okay, Miss. DiLaurentis?”

“Smartass.” Ali uttered under her breath. “You said your appointment is at five, right?”

“Yeah.” Emily looked at the clock. It was 4:10.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Ali asked.

“No, it should be pretty routine.” Emily shrugged. “It’s just a follow up.”

“You sure? I can sit with you and mash your jello up just the way you like it.”

Emily laughed.

“How do you even remember how I like my jello?” Emily questioned.

“There’s a lot I know about you, Em.”

“Oh, yeah?” Emily ran her fingers along Alison’s arms, her touch sending shivers up Alison’s spine.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Like I know that when you’re thinking about something in your past you push your lips out and get this little crinkle in between your eyebrows.” She moved closer to Emily, her lips lingering over Emily’s. “And I know that you like the sound of the ocean because it lulls you to sleep.” Her mouth brushed against Emily’s, Emily’s lips moving with hers. She pulled back. “I know that you love the smell of pine trees because it reminds you of camping out in your backyard with your dad when you were little.” She gently gripped Emily’s waist, pulling her closer. “And that even if your mother cooks a dish that you don’t like, you’ll eat it.” Her piercing eyes locked on Emily’s gaze. “And I know that you can’t take a compliment without being totally modest.” One hand left Emily’s waist and landed gently on her face, two of her fingers brushing Emily’s hair behind her right ear. “And that you like it when it rains, because the way the water glistens when it comes down seems magical to you.” Alison’s eyes twinkled and it made Emily feel weak in the knees. “And I know that you still blush when I catch you getting out of the shower…”

She’d seen that just this morning. It was hysterical to her, because Emily was usually so bold and brazen. So seeing her surprised and flustered was something of a turn on.

“Stalker.” Emily smiled teasingly, her palms sliding down to Alison’s waist. She slipped her hands underneath Alison’s shirt.

Alison’s hormones went haywire when she felt Emily’s warm fingers above her hips. Sex was something else that Emily hadn’t been cleared for yet, and it was driving both of them crazy. It had proven to be a challenge given that they were barely able to keep their hands off of one another. They’d almost slipped up a couple of times, but Alison always stopped it before it got too far. She hated it, but she wasn’t willing to risk it. She’d been adamant about following the doctor’s orders. She didn’t want to risk anything happening to Emily after everything the two of them had been through.

To her surprise, Emily had agreed with her. Emily had experienced what it felt like to die. More than once. And she didn’t care to feel that way again for a very long time. But right now, with their hands pressed against the other’s flesh, neither of them was doing a very good job of controlling their sex drive. They stared at one another, neither one of them moving because they knew that they were very likely to lose control.

For Alison, thinking of anything other than ravishing Emily was proving to be incredibly difficult, because all she wanted to do was push everything off of the table and throw Emily down on top of it, pin her, and take her right there. She tried to shut her libido up by thinking about the fact that once they got the go-ahead they were never going to leave the bedroom again. Emily wasn’t able to shut her hormones up as easily. She leaned forward, licking her lips.

“You have no idea how bad I want you right now,” Emily’s voice was a throaty whisper against Alison’s ear.

It made Alison’s entire body tremble. She felt a spark of heated pleasure growing between her legs just _picturing_ taking Emily’s clothes off. She sucked in a hiss through her teeth.

“Em, you can’t say stuff like that.” Alison took in a quaking breath.

“Why not?” Emily lifted her brows with a smile.

“Because _you_ have no idea how close I am to giving you what you want.”

“Oh?” Emily asked curiously, kissing her jaw. “And what would you do if I told you that I _needed_ you?” Her lips tickled a spot on Alison’s earlobe that always sent shivers through her body.

 _Screw it._ Alison’s brain conceded.

Alison was getting ready to give in to her urges when she spotted something in the box that she recognized. All at once her focus shifted. She pulled the familiar slip of paper out of the box.

“You still have this?” Alison asked, marveling at the letter that she’d written to Emily months ago, asking her to come back to Rosewood.

“It was the whole reason I came back here.” Emily took the letter from Alison, flattening the edges gently, like she was trying to preserve something rare and precious.

“I can’t believe you kept it.” Alison’s face softened. She loved her sentimental girl.

“Everything that brought us together…everything that is about _you_ is important to me.” She stared at the letter for a moment. “I probably read this at least a hundred times, trying to memorize every loop and curl, trying to imagine where you were when you wrote it, trying to picture your fingers holding the pen. Anything that could possibly make me feel connected to you.” Her fingers traced the words on the paper. “I remember exactly how I felt when I got this. Just _seeing_ it made my heart race.”

“You sure that wasn’t your heart problems?” Alison teased.

Emily laughed softly.

“My heart may have had its fair share of problems, but one thing that stayed strong with it was how it felt about you. You’ve always had a pull over me.” She brushed a lock of Alison’s hair behind her ear. “I never stopped loving you.”

“Okay, seriously, you’ve got to stop saying stuff that makes me want to drag you to our bedroom and never come out.”

“Who says we have to start in the bedroom?” Emily suggested.

 _Damn it, she is so fucking sexy._ Alison couldn’t resist her charm.

Emily’s phone went off. Ali welcomed the interruption, because she was half a second away from letting Emily get her way. If the doctor didn’t clear Emily for bedroom shenanigans soon Ali was going to lose her mind. Emily glanced at her phone.

“It’s Hanna. Their flight got in early,” Emily said.

“Do they have a ride?” Ali asked.

“Toby is picking them up. They’re going to head to the Hastings’ place and get ready there,” Emily said. “Is Jason coming?”

“I invited him, but he has a flight out to New York tonight. He’s got a few business meetings there this week,” Ali replied. “What time does the party start?”

“Aria and Ezra will be here at 7:30. I told everyone else to be here by seven so we can get set up.” Emily texted Hanna back.

“How very Pam Fields of you.”

Emily glanced at her, half flattered and half insulted. Ali laughed at the look on her face and then walked across the kitchen to start making appetizers and the entree for the night. Emily worked on decorating. They were doing the backyard up in a Hollywood theme. She took some supplies outside and started decking their yard out, LA style. She caught a glimpse of Alison through the window and she stopped to watch her, a smile washing across her face. Despite everything that had happened to her in the months that she had been back, coming back to Rosewood had ended up being the best thing to happen to her. Because it had led her back to Alison. As she looked around Ali’s backyard… _their_ backyard, Emily was reminded of the last line in Aria and Ezra’s book. It was a quote by Joseph Campbell that she’d heard in Ezra’s classroom what felt like a lifetime ago. The words had always stuck with her.

_“You must give up the life you’d planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.”_

It rang true for her. It rang true for all of them. Back then none of them could have ever imagined that this is where their lives were going to take them. They all had these set plans, these different visions for their futures. Come to find out, life had other things in store for them. And Emily was starting to realize that you just couldn’t plan some things. Some things happened because they were meant to be.

Her phone chirped at her, alerting her to her upcoming appointment. She put a pin in decorating and said a quick ‘I love you’ to Ali and then went to her follow up. As expected, the visit was routine. But once the exam was over she got some surprising news. She’d had to ask the doctor to repeat it. When he said it again she realized she hadn’t misheard him. His words were all she could think about on the way home. By the time she got there she’d decided that she wasn’t going to say anything to Ali. She didn’t like keeping secrets from her, but she wanted to get through a nice normal evening with her friends before she told her.


	37. Forever (Part II)

* * *

The house smelled delicious when Emily walked inside, the scent of Ali’s vegetarian lasagna wafting through the air. Ali came strolling out of the kitchen, trying to appear nonchalant, because she knew Emily hated it when she jumped all over her after her appointments.

“That was a quick visit.” Ali walked over to meet her.

“I’m getting pretty good at them. I’m basically going through the drive-thru now.” Emily joked.

“How’d it go?” Ali asked eagerly.

“Good.” Emily kept her reply simple. She wasn’t quite ready to unload the visit yet.

Ali peered at her curiously. It wasn’t like Emily to be so vague after her appointments. She usually gave Ali more details, because she knew that if she didn’t Ali would turn into an incessant child nagging her, poking her until she spilled her guts.

“Everything is okay?” Ali pried.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded, a tight smile on her face. “I’m going to take a quick shower and get ready.”

Ali’s eyes narrowed, following Emily’s stride as she walked up the stairs. She didn’t like how squirrelly Emily was being. She heard a timer go off in the kitchen, and she turned her attention towards the food.

She’d planned on asking Emily for more details about her appointment, but Hanna and Caleb showed up early. Emily opened the door and Hanna practically jumped into her arms to hug her, careful not to squeeze her too tight so she wouldn’t hurt her. Emily stumbled back a few feet and laughed.

“Easy.” Caleb couldn’t help but laugh. “If you bulldoze her too hard you’re gonna have to face the wrath of Ali.”

“It’s fine.” Emily hugged Hanna back. “I’ve missed you, too, Han.”

“It’s been, like, forever.” Hanna pulled back, a huge grin on her face.

“We just saw you at the wedding two weeks ago,” Emily said with a smile.

“That’s what I told her.” Caleb shrugged. “She just told me to shut up. Guess I can’t compete with true love. I only married her. You’re the one she loves the most.” He joked, leaning in for a hug. “You been doing okay?”

“Yep.” Emily nodded.

Ali came walking down the stairs.

“Hey, guys!” She waved.

Caleb shot her a small wave back. Hanna paced over to hug Ali.

“How was Italy?” Ali asked.

“Ah, _bello_.” Hanna replied with an Italian inflection. “How have things been here?”

Emily and Ali looked at each other, both smiling.

“Good,” Ali said.

Moments later, Toby and Spencer walked in and the second round of hugs began. Hanna regaled them all with tales from her trip. Spencer chatted about her mother’s victory in the State Senate. Emily was just content to listen to them talk. She had so much love for her friends. They had no idea.

A few minutes before Ezra and Aria were expected to arrive, Emily went to take the finger foods to the table they’d set up outside. Spencer was the first one up to help her. Ali offered, but Emily asked her to check on dinner instead. Ali frowned, convinced that Emily was trying to avoid her. When Spencer walked outside she couldn’t help but be amazed at the transformation from Rosewood to Hollywood. There was a red carpet leading out to a canopy with a table that had a black backdrop behind it with a Hollywood sign that stood out in bold white letters. There were balloons and lanterns with stars and a bunch of other LA-themed décor.

“God, these decorations turned out fantastic. You really missed your calling in party planning.” Spencer sat a tray of sun-dried tomato and basil pinwheels down on the table.

“Hey, you’re the one who sent the designs for it.” Emily replied with a modest shrug. “All I had to do was shop.” Emily nabbed a pinwheel and tasted it. They’d turned out pretty good. She loved Ali’s cooking.

Spencer smiled at her friend. It was so nice that things were getting back to normal. That’s all any of them had ever wanted.

“You’re looking good, Em.”

“Yeah, the new treatment has really done wonders.” Emily nodded. “My doctors are insanely happy with my progress. I mean, my heart won’t ever function at a hundred percent and I might eventually need valve replacement surgery,” _Might_ being the key word. With her treatments working, the doctors were confident that her condition could be managed with medication. “But not for a really long time…like ‘we’ll be in a retirement home’ long time.”

“Oh, please. Like you could ever talk Alison DiLaurentis into going into a retirement community?”

“True.” Emily laughed. She turned to adjust one of the Oscar-shaped candles on the table.

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked.

“Pretty good. I’d be better if Ali stopped treating me like I’m made of glass, but hey, that’s love, right?” She faced Spencer. “How are things with you and Toby?”

Spencer’s cheeks reddened, which Emily thought was the most hilariously adorable thing she’d ever seen.

“Better than ever,” Spencer tried to play it off, but Emily could see her affection burning brightly. “We’re making the distance work for now. I don’t know that he’ll ever want to leave Rosewood.”

“How do you feel about that?” Emily asked.

Spencer clucked her tongue and smiled.

“Actually, I’m thinking about leaving D.C.” She shrugged. “Everything there is high pressure. And it’s great. Don’t get me wrong. I love sniping at Congress. I really do. But my mom offered me a really lucrative position in Harrisburg with her. And considering it would bring me closer to Toby, I’m seriously considering it.”

“Spencer Hastings, you are so whipped.” Emily teased her.

“Says the girl who gave up palm trees and beaches for a certain blonde teacher in a small town.” Spencer ribbed her back.

Emily glanced towards the house.

“It was so worth it,” she said with a smile. “Home is where the heart is.” And her heart was with Alison.

They heard more greetings being exclaimed from inside and they walked towards the house. When they got into the living room they saw that Aria and Ezra had arrived. More hugs were exchanged.

“Look at you, _Hollywood_.” Spencer rolled her fingers over Aria’s fancy outfit.

“Shh, you’ll ruin the surprise.” Hanna nudged Spencer.

“Oh, God. What surprise?” Aria looked horrified.

“Come see for yourselves.” Ali motioned towards the back door.

“Oh, wait.” Emily suddenly remembered something. “I forgot something.”

She skipped ahead of everyone.

“Well, she’s certainly spry.” Toby chuckled.

“Yeah, I can’t slow her down.” Ali mumbled, annoyed that her girl didn’t know the meaning of the phrase ‘take it easy’.

Outside, Emily was illuminating the Hollywood sign with lights she’d set up on the ground angled to add that little touch of LA flavor. After she turned the lights on she walked back into the house.

“Okay, you guys can come out now.”

Toby, Spencer, Hanna, and Caleb grinned and walked outside.

“So, what’s this big surprise?” Ezra asked.

Ali smirked at Aria and Ezra.

“Wait for it…”

Aria and Ezra followed everyone out. They stopped when they got to the red carpet that had been rolled out.

“You didn’t…” Ezra shook his head with a laugh.

“Surprise!” Everyone exclaimed at the same time.

“Aw, you guys…” Aria shied away, her face red in embarrassment.

“Huh, no kegger? I’m disappointed.” Ezra smiled.

Aria smacked his arm. He chuckled and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.

“Hey, I suggested a keg _and_ beer pong.” Toby clapped his hand on Ezra’s shoulder.

“Me, too.” Caleb nodded. “We were outvoted.”

“We’re always outvoted.” Toby muttered. “Eh, women…”

Spencer shot him a warning look, and he smiled and threw his hands up in submission. She couldn’t resist the adorable puppy-dog look on his face, so she leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. He was grinning from ear to ear when she pulled away.

“And that is exactly why we’re always outvoted.” Caleb laughed.

“I don’t make the rules.” Toby shrugged, still grinning at Spencer.

Everyone gathered around the table and chatted while they feasted on the appetizers. Aria couldn’t stop staring at the decorations.

“Thank you guys so much. This is amazing.”

“Hey, it’s not every day that two of your best friends become big-shot movie producers.” Hanna tipped her glass of wine up and took a sip.

“You paid really close attention to detail.” Aria looked at the Hollywood sign.

“That was all Spencer.” Emily pointed to Spencer.

“I went a little overboard.” Spencer admitted.

“You? Overboard? Never.” Hanna snorted sarcastically.

“Hey, I’m all about details.” Spencer didn’t apologize. She faced Aria and Ezra. “In fact, I looked at possible shooting locations for you. I researched what sets have buildings that have the best architecture.”

“Oh,” Ezra’s voice went up an octave as he laughed. “Of course you did.”

They sat around for a while, talking about the book and the movie deal. Ali talked about how her class was responding to the book, bringing up Luke’s interpretation of the ending. Emily watched as Ali’s face lit up as she gushed about her kids. They couldn’t wait to have children of their own someday. They’d even talked hypothetically about names. Emily liked Grace for a girl and Dylan for a boy. Ali liked Lily for a girl and Oliver for a boy. When they hadn’t been able to agree on the names they jokingly talked about having four kids so they could both get their way.

“Who do you think they’ll get to play the leads?” Hanna asked.

“Why? Are you interested?” Aria teased her.

“Oh, please.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t want to deal with moody directors and crazy call times. I need my beauty sleep.” She smiled. “I’m more interested in _dressing_ the leads. Who do you have for wardrobe?”

“You mean Mona isn’t keeping you busy enough?” Emily questioned.

James had asked Mona to marry him, and Hanna had been the first person she called after she said yes. She had asked Hanna to be her maid of honor _and_ to help her design her wedding dress and help her plan the wedding.

“She’s keeping me plenty busy.” Hanna laughed. “I get a new text from her every five minutes.”

“I still can’t believe Mona is marrying a cop. I never would have seen that coming.” Caleb shook his head in disbelief.

“He’s a P.I. Not a cop.” Spencer corrected him.

“Which means he flunked out of the police academy.” Hanna smirked.

“I’m gonna grab a refill. Does anyone else need one?” Emily asked.

“I’ll take one.” Hanna handed her glass to Emily. “Please.” She added with a smile.

Emily took the glass and then walked into the house.

“You know, I’m actually going to check on the lasagna. It should be done.” Ali excused herself as well.

Her excuse was an opportunity to follow Emily into the house. She’d been waiting to get her alone to ask her what the hell was up. Emily been weird ever since she got home from her doctor’s appointment, and Ali didn’t like it. Emily saw her walking into the kitchen.

“The lasagna is done. I pulled it out of the oven.” Emily motioned towards the pan sitting on top of the stove. “Looks good.” She smiled. “The whole spread has been great. My mom will be pleased to hear you did her recipes justice.”

Emily was babbling to try and keep Ali from bombarding her with questions. Because the truth was she had been avoiding talking to her. For good reason.

“Where did you put the serving spatula?” Emily fumbled through some drawers.

“Top left next to the stove.” Ali walked over and opened the drawer. She grabbed the spatula and handed it to Emily.

“Can’t wait to try it.”

Emily started sectioning off the lasagna. Steam from the hot dish was rising into her face. Emily savored in how great it smelled. She reached for the pot holders and was getting ready to transport the dish outside when Ali stepped up beside her.

“What’s up with you?” Ali questioned.

“Huh?” Emily peered at her with a nervous expression, doing a very shoddy job at trying to act like she had nothing to hide.

“Spill it. You have been weirdly quiet all night. You’ve barely said two words to me.” Ali frowned.

“That’s not true.” Emily disagreed.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Ali pushed.

“Let’s talk about this after the party.” Emily grabbed her water and Hanna’s glass of wine. “Can you grab the lasagna?”

“Emily.” Ali grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly. “We are not going back out there until you tell me what’s going on. Did something happen at your appointment?”

Emily looked at Ali and sighed, but she didn’t look upset. In fact, she had a smile on her face. She put the drinks down.

“Alright. Fine. I was going to wait until after dinner, because I knew the second you found out you’d want to run everyone off.”

Ali frowned in confusion.

“Why would I want to…”

“Guess which activity is no longer on my restricted list?” Emily interrupted her, a sultry smile on her face, an expression that told Ali _exactly_ which restriction had been lifted today.

“You mean…” Ali’s eyes lit up, a mixture of excitement and desire. Emily nodded. “Seriously?” Ali could already feel her hormones making their way to the surface. “You better not be messing with me…”

“Messing with you is exactly what I _want_ to do, Alison.” Emily lifted her brows playfully and stuck the tip of her tongue out and bit down on it.

That sent a shockwave of desire down to Alison’s core. No wonder Emily had worn her tight black leather skirt tonight. She knew it would drive her crazy. And it was. Alison wanted to leap over the counter and tackle her to the ground. Alison glanced outside and then back at Emily.

“I bet they wouldn’t even realize we were missing.” Alison suggested.

“See? I told you.” Emily shook her head with a laugh. “We’re not running out on our friends like a couple of horny teens. We’ve waited this long. What’s a few more hours?”

Alison muttered out in frustration and Emily laughed. She loved it when Alison was flustered. She had an adorable ‘annoyed’ face.

“Patience.” Emily smiled at her.

“Yeah, because we both know _I_ have the patience of a saint.” Alison uttered caustically.

She wasn’t lying. Emily knew that all she would have to do was touch Alison in the right way and she would lose her mind. Emily was dying to get to the bedroom, too, but for now she was just going to have to settle for foreplay. An idea sprang to her mind. She wanted to see just how far she could push Alison. She casually strolled around the corner of the counter and walked towards the refrigerator to grab a pitcher of watcher. Alison turned around just as Emily’s ass grazed her front. Alison knew exactly what she was doing.

 _Two can play this game._ Alison thought to herself.

Without saying a word, Alison walked up behind her. Emily closed the refrigerator and was about to turn around when she felt Alison’s hands brush the sides of her hips. She looked down just in time to see Alison’s delicate fingers splay out and slide across the front of her skirt. She almost dropped the pitcher of water when Alison’s warm palms landed on her inner thighs, her fingers gripping the tender flesh there. Emily glanced back over her shoulder and saw that Alison had a devilish smirk on her face. Emily smiled back, daring her to do it. Alison’s hands started to drift up. Emily pressed her back against Alison’s front and tilted her head back until it landed against Alison’s shoulder. She knew that would send Alison over the edge. She felt Alison’s fingers tighten against her skin and she grinned to herself. Emily loved this dance for control.

They heard the door shut and they both jumped. Alison jerked her hands back and Emily turned around, her body still heated from their brief encounter. For a second, Emily thought she might have to pour the ice cold water on herself to cool down.

“Hey, do you guys need any help?” Aria asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Nope.” Emily said, trying not to sound like a kid who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, or rather…who was the cookie jar in which Alison’s hands had almost been caught. “Just had to find the wine opener to pop the cork.” Her voice was high and a little shaky. She shot a subtle glance at Ali.

“Good. Because the natives are getting restless.” Aria reached for the glass of wine that Emily had poured. “And by ‘the natives’ I mean Hanna, and by ‘getting restless’ I mean she’s demanding her alcohol.” She reached over the lasagna to grab the bottle of wine. “Whoa, that’s hot.” She felt the heat rising off of the dish.

“Yeah, I almost burned myself.” Ali glanced at Emily, a hint of a smile on her face.

Emily had to bite back a laugh.

“It looks delicious.” Aria smiled, completely oblivious to their little game.

Both Ali and Emily had to suppress a laugh. The food wasn’t the only thing that looked delicious in their kitchen.

“I’m going to get this out to Hanna before she starts suffering from withdrawals.” Aria curled her fingers around the glass with one hand and held the bottle of wine with the other.

As soon as they heard the door shut they both erupted into laughter. Emily’s cheeks were bright red. If Aria had come in one minute later she would have seen something a lot hotter than the melted cheese on the lasagna. Emily angled her head down and put her free hand over her face as she laughed, trying to hide her embarrassment. Alison thought it was adorable how she’d gone from sexy to shy so quickly. It was so very Emily, and it made Alison want her more. Emily finally got herself together.

“Come on. We have a dinner to serve.” Emily reminded her.

“Ugh, how am I supposed to go back out there and socialize and talk about books and politics when I know our bedroom is right upstairs, calling our names?” Ali moaned.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I had a plan. You ruined it by being you.” Emily leaned forward and kissed her, careful to keep her hands to herself so they wouldn’t be tempted again. “Grab the lasagna.” She picked up her glass with her free hand and walked back towards the backyard again, clutching the pitcher of water as she thought about how good Ali’s fingers had felt against her skin.

Ali watched her go, and now that Emily was obtainable she was starting to see that everything she did was a million times hotter. The way she walked. The way she smiled. The way she moved. All Ali could think about was ripping Emily’s skirt off and yanking her underwear off with her teeth. It took her a few minutes to get her libido under control. She blew out a breath and straightened her blouse. Then she grabbed the lasagna and joined her friends outside.

Everyone raved about Ali’s cooking, which took her focus off of how much she wanted to be on top of Emily, at least for a little while. When the evening started to wind down, and after she had a few glasses of wine in her, Alison’s sex drive returned with vigor. She tried to play it cool, but every time she looked at Emily she felt her urges overwhelming her senses. Emily was trying to play coy, and that just drove Ali to want her more.

“Don’t go forgetting about us when you’re rich and famous.” Spencer put her hand on top of Aria’s hand.

“Are you kidding? We’re just making movies. You’re going to be the future leader of this country. I can’t wait to tell people that my best friend is President of the United States.” Aria smiled. “You better invite us to The White House for a sleepover.”

“I just can’t wait to see Toby as First Lady.” Ezra grinned.

“I get to design his inauguration dress.” Hanna quickly chimed in.

“Fine. But I am _not_ wearing heels,” Toby said in a prissy tone.

“But they show off your calves!” Caleb argued with a cheeky grin.

“I can’t believe I married you.” Hanna snorted out a laugh.

“I can’t believe we’re all here…together.” Aria smiled. “After everything, we’re still standing.” She glanced at Emily, who had undoubtedly been through the most.

Spencer and Hanna looked at Emily, too. Emily smiled at her friends.

“How about a toast?” Spencer raised her glass. Everyone else followed suit. “To surviving Rosewood with our sanity still intact.”

“Mostly.” Emily added jokingly.

They all laughed and clinked their glasses together.

“Is it possible that we’re all actually happy at the same time?” Hanna asked in amazement.

“Oh, God. Don’t say that out loud. It’s a jinx.” Spencer frowned.

“Quick, someone throw some salt over their shoulder to ward off the bad luck.” Ezra laughed, grabbing the salt and flicking the shaker with his wrist, sending several grains sprinkling on to Toby.

“Did you just A-salt a police officer?” Toby feigned shock.

Everyone at the table burst into laughter. Alison threw her hands up and clapped them together lightly. Emily watched her out of the corner of her eye. Seeing such pure joy on Alison’s face was one of her favorite things in the world. Her smile was magnetizing. And her laugh always made Emily feel like she was seeing the world in different colors, like the swirls of a beautiful morning sunset where the sun hit the clouds just right and melted into the sky in a whirlwind of polarizing hues. Her eyes were bright and her face lit up. Her body just radiated happiness. Emily could feel it in her soul.

Alison saw Emily smiling at her and she brought her hands back down, one of them automatically landing on Emily’s knee underneath the table. She glanced down, realizing immediately that she’d made a mistake. Emily had a mischievous glint in her eye.

 _Don’t you dare._ Ali thought to herself.

But Emily was already moving, her hand landing softly on top of Alison’s. She looked at their friends, who were completely unaware of what they were doing. Emily slowly moved Alison’s palm towards the hem of her skirt. Alison’s eyes darted up to check on their friends. They were all wrapped up in something that Hanna was telling them about their trip. Emily continued to push Alison’s fingers higher until they disappeared under her skirt. Alison shot her an annoyed smirk that basically said _I will kill you._

Emily finally relented, pulling her hand away with a quiet chuckle. Alison let her fingers linger between Emily’s thighs, unable to pry her hand off of her soft hot skin. Emily reached over and squeezed Alison’s leg, digging her fingernails into her thigh. Alison had to bite back a gasp. She glared at Emily, who was laughing. She wiped the smile off of Emily’s face by drawing slow sensual circles on her inner thigh. Emily’s eyes popped open in surprise as Alison’s fingers continued their ascent. Alison saw Emily bite her lip, and suddenly she was the one grinning. She could feel Emily’s legs trembling underneath her touch. Alison was dying to just go for it. When she looked at Emily again she saw a warm expression in her eyes. It was the same look that Emily gave her right before she told her she loved her.

Ali realized she wasn’t going to last much longer. She pulled away and abruptly stood up and said she was going to get dessert. Before Emily could volunteer to help, Ali was already heading to the house to try and cool down. She just had to make it through one more course. But it was going to be the most difficult one, because all she was going to be thinking about was how much sweeter dessert would taste if she was licking it off of Emily’s body.

When she came back with the dessert, she tried not to make eye contact with Emily. She kept her eyes trained on the food in front of her, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Emily lick some whipped cream off of her lips and Alison felt her desire taking over again. She felt the urge to lean forward and lick the rest of the sweet mixture of chocolate and whipped cream away from her mouth. She quickly curbed that desire by putting a spoon full of her own dessert into her mouth. But her eyes were still fixed on Emily’s lips. She had such gorgeous lips. She watched Emily’s mouth move as she talked to their friends. She watched her lips curl into a smile when Hanna said something funny. She watched her suck on her spoon, cleaning off the excess chocolate that was on the utensil, imagining that it was her fingers in Emily’s mouth instead of the spoon. Alison couldn’t wait to taste those magical lips. She couldn’t wait to have Emily underneath her, tasting every inch of her body.

Ali sat there, mesmerized by Emily, her love deepening by the minute. She loved her with every ounce of her soul. She couldn’t help herself as she reached out and put her hand on top of Emily’s. This time, her touch was innocent. Emily peered at her, trying to figure out if this was part of their little game. But Ali just smiled sweetly, giving nothing away. She had more planned than Emily could have imagined. After she finished her dessert, Ali excused herself, making up a lie about how she needed to call her brother about some paperwork for the business meeting he had tomorrow. She disappeared into the house, but she didn’t call her brother. She had something else in store. She made sure Emily wasn’t following her, and then she set her plan in motion.

They partied on a little bit longer, all the while Emily was wondering what Ali was up to. She knew that Jason and Ali had been talking a lot about their non-profit organization and about some family investments, but she wasn’t used to Ali disappearing for a chat with him for this long. As the night started to come to a close, Emily started cleaning up. Since Ali was nowhere to be found, Toby volunteered to help. They grabbed the dirty dishes while everyone else lounged around talking about what they wanted for their futures.

“So, Officer Cavanaugh, you’ve successfully saved an entire city full of people from the mastermind that was _A_. What’s next on the agenda for you?” Emily asked.

“I’m going to Disneyland.” Toby joked with an enthusiastic smile, holding a pretend microphone in his hand.

“I think Spencer went there with her family once.”

“Yeah.” Toby laughed. “She puked all over Melissa on the teacup ride.”

“Huh, guess it just wasn’t her cup of tea.”

“Oh, Em.” Toby shook his head. “That one was cringeworthy.”

“Yeah, yeah. This from the guy who told me it didn’t ‘work out’ when I asked about your new gym membership.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his head. “That one was pretty bad. Spencer said my jokes are so bad they’re good.”

“She’s just telling you that because she loves you.” Emily laughed. “I hear things are going pretty well with the two of you.” She scraped some food off of a plate into the garbage.

“Better than ever.” Toby nodded. Emily couldn’t help but smile. Spencer had said those exact same words to her just hours ago. The two of them were made for each other. “What about you? What’s in store for you there, Lazarus?” Toby asked as he rinsed a plate off in the sink.

“Lazarus?”

“Em, you’ve risen from the dead more than someone personally touched by The Almighty.”

Emily laughed.

“I guess that would make you The Almighty since you’re the one who keeps bringing me back.”

“Nah, I’m just a guy who doesn’t feel like breaking in a new drinking buddy.” Toby played it off.

“Did I ever thank you for saving our lives that day?” Emily asked.

“I think the paramedics and your doctors had a pretty big role in that, too.”

“They wouldn’t have had a chance to save me if it hadn’t been for you. Elliott would have killed us if you hadn’t stepped in the way you did. You took a bullet for us.” He’d joined the ranks with Caleb and Ezra of people who had taken a slug in the place of her. She really should just consider wearing Kevlar at all times considering how many times she’d nearly been shot. “ _You’re_ the one who saved us.”

“To be fair, the vest I was wearing is actually what took the bullet.”

Emily shoved him with a laugh.

“You are impossible. I’m trying to compliment you, you idiot.”

“I wish I could have been there for you more that day,” he admitted.

After he’d given the paramedics directions on where to go to get to Emily and Ali, he’d been stopped from going back in by some local cops, who’d insisted that he get his injuries treated.

“The way Ali tells it, you were there for her.” Emily smiled. “That’s all I ever could have asked for.”

That much was the truth. That day was hard for all of them, but Toby had stood by his promise to Emily. He’d just finished explaining everything that had happened to Spencer, Hanna, and Aria and was in the middle of getting his cognitive exam when he’d heard Ali screaming. By the tones of her cries, Toby could tell Emily hadn’t made it. And though his heart was heavy at the prospect that his best friend and favorite drinking buddy was gone, he’d quickly pushed aside his grief to help Ali. He’d pushed away the EMTs treating him to try and get to Ali. She’d been stunned when she saw him coming, and then became almost human again when she saw her friends.

“Toby, you’ve always been exactly where I’ve needed you to be.” Emily assured him.

“I always will be.” He shrugged. “What are neighbors for?” He put his hand on top of hers with a warm smile.

They had just finished cleaning up when the rest of the crew came inside to join them. It was getting late and everyone was getting ready to head out. Ali slipped in from somewhere, but Emily didn’t see from where. She weaved through her friends to get to Emily.

“Hey, where’ve you been?” Emily asked curiously.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Ali teased.

“Okay, I deserved that.” Emily laughed. After all, she had been pushing Ali to her limit tonight.

Ali just smiled and took her hand and they walked their friends to the door. Toby and Spencer were the first to leave, then Aria and Ezra. Caleb and Hanna stuck around for a little while longer.

“I don’t really want to stay with Spencer and Toby tonight. Toby snores. Can we stick around here instead?” Hanna yawned and walked towards the sofa.

Ali and Emily glanced at one another and then at Hanna. Emily felt the urge to pick her up and physically carry her out the door and throw her out on the doorstep. Hanna stopped and turned around, a huge grin on her face.

“You should see the looks on your faces right now.” She heaved out a laugh. “I’m just screwing with you.” She leaned down to pick up her phone from the coffee table. She walked over to where Caleb, Ali, and Emily were standing. “Come on, Caleb, let’s leave these lovebirds alone.” She faced her friends. “Have fun tonight you two.” Hanna smiled, her brows lifting in a manner that suggested she hadn’t missed the fact that they’d been all over each other all night.

Emily glanced at her in surprise.

“Oh, please. Coy is not your strong suit, Em.” Emily wanted to smack her, but she also wanted to hug her. Some things never changed. “Besides, we just got back from our honeymoon. Do you really think that I don’t recognize the ‘sex me up’ look?”

“In that case, we’ll see you later.” Ali motioned them towards the door. “We’re going back to our room now.”

“Subtle.” Caleb laughed as he was being corralled out the door.

As soon as the door closed Alison grabbed Emily’s waist and shoved her against the wall. She planted a hard kiss against her lips, her hands pressed firmly against Emily’s neck. Emily pulled her closer, her fingers tangled in her blonde hair. Alison pulled back and looked at Emily.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Alison’s right hand drifted towards her chest.

“We’ve teased each other enough, don’t you think?” Emily placed an open-mouthed kiss on her jaw.

Alison pulled away from her to get her attention, her hand resting on Emily’s neck.

“No, I’m serious. You’re really okay?” She asked with eager eyes, trying very hard to keep her hormones in check until she got the go-ahead from Emily.

“If you don’t start touching me I am going to make your life very difficult.” Emily growled.

Alison smiled. She liked Emily being so commanding. She loved that Emily knew exactly what to do to drive her wild. All the touches and all the smirky grins Emily had given her tonight suddenly coursed through her brain, her desire stirring from deep inside of her. She pushed Emily against the wall, their lips meeting again, Alison’s body pressed firmly against hers. Her fingers slid over Emily’s hips and down to the hem of her skirt. Her palms slipped underneath it until her hands were nestled tightly between the fabric of her skirt and her toned legs. Emily grabbed the backs of Alison’s thighs, cupping her ass, and pulled her closer. One of Alison’s hands slipped between Emily’s legs and she ran her fingers over Emily’s underwear, quickly realizing that she had on a pair of thin lace panties, something she rarely ever wore. Emily had been planning this, and that just turned Alison on in all the right ways. She started rubbing Emily through her underwear, Emily bucking into her touch. The soft material mixed with the damp heat over Emily’s core made Alison shudder. She groaned, and she felt Emily’s mouth curl into a cocky smile underneath her lips.

Alison bit down on Emily’s bottom lip. Emily jumped and let out a surprised gasp. Emily pushed her hand against the back of Alison’s neck to pull her closer and dipped her tongue into Alison’s mouth, pushing for control of the embrace. The kiss was deep and filled with a fervent need. Seconds later, Emily’s hands were underneath Alison’s blouse, sliding across her stomach, her fingers splaying out and tracing the patterns of her ribs. She hit a ticklish spot and Alison flinched, unable to stop a quiet squeak from slipping into Emily’s mouth. Emily laughed and pressed the sensitive spot again and Alison growled under her breath. Alison squeezed Emily’s inner thigh and pulled her hands away, making Emily whimper at the loss of contact.

Alison nudged her knee between Emily’s legs, but Emily’s thighs would only open so far. Alison looked down at the skirt, annoyed at its presence, realizing that she needed to get it off of her before they both went completely nuts. Emily sensed what she was thinking. She was ready to pull off all of their clothing and pounce on Alison.

“There’s some…” Emily slammed her lips against Alison’s and grunted, “…whipped cream left,” Another crashing kiss, “…in the kitchen.”

“I’ve got something better.” Alison pulled away from Emily, reaching down to grab her hand so she could lead her upstairs.

She squeezed Emily’s fingers with more force than she meant to and she felt Emily’s body jerk as she tried to contain a quiet yelp. Alison looked down, realizing that she’d grabbed Emily’s left hand and she was applying a bunch of pressure to the fingers that Elliott had broken.

Alison’s eyes were wide with worry and filled with remorse.

“Oh, Jesus. I’m so sorry, Em. Are they still tender?” She delicately pulled Emily’s hand up to her mouth and kissed her fingers, making a mental note to be more careful with her perfect angel tonight.

“Just a little.” Emily surprised her with her honesty.

Alison took her other hand and pulled her towards the stairs. Emily trailed behind her, smiling, trying to figure out what it was that Alison had planned. Alison stopped when they got to their closed bedroom door. She stepped aside, waiting for Emily to open the door. Emily looked at Alison, whose eyes were teeming with several emotions. Emily reached for the door and when she pushed it open she was startled to find that the room had been filled with rose petals, candles, and photos of them throughout the years. Alison had been keeping them hidden for months, waiting for the opportunity to use them.

“What’s this?” Emily asked.

“The final stop on our trip around the world.” Alison gently pulled a shocked Emily across the room. “Home sweet home.” She stopped when she got to the end table next to their bed.

Emily looked down and her heart started racing. The end table had been cleared off except for the Eiffel Tower statue. Next to the small figurine there was a heart made out of rose petals with a single rose in the center laying across an open case with a ring in it. Emily looked at the ring and then at Alison, who had a huge smile on her face.

“Seeing as how I didn’t have a ring last time...” Alison said.

Emily had no idea how Alison had managed to put it together. She wasn’t surprised that her girl had been able to pull it off. What was surprising was how shocked she was.

“Ali.” Emily’s voice came out as a shocked gasp. She had known that Alison was going to propose again with a ring at some point, but it still stunned her to see it unfolding. She felt tears of joy burning her eyes. “Is that my Grandmother’s ring?”

“Your mother gave it to me after she gave me her blessing.” Alison nodded.

She’d gotten Pam’s blessing a while ago. She had just been waiting for the right moment to pop the question. And for some reason, tonight felt right.

“This bedroom is where I fell in love with you for the first time,” she said. “It was during that sleepover I had for my fourteenth birthday. We had that little impromptu dance party and then fell on the ground laughing.” She smiled, her gaze distant. “I’ll never forget the look you had on your face that night. You were just so happy. I could feel it in my soul. I could feel _you_ in my soul. There were five of us in the room that night, but I only saw you.” She swept Emily’s stray hairs behind her ear. “I remember later, after everyone else fell asleep I just stayed awake watching you dream. I could see your lips twitching and I remember wanting to kiss you so badly. I remember wanting to hold you in my arms. I remember thinking ‘God, she’s so special’. And you still are. You are so special to me.” She picked up the ring and took Emily’s left hand in hers. “You are the most important thing in the world to me. You’re my heart. I want to fall in love with you every day for the rest of our lives.” Her free hand landed gently on Emily’s face. “Marry me, Emily.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Emily teased her, tears in her eyes, leaning forward to capture her lips.

She pulled away and she felt Alison slipping the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit. Just like them. She looked down at the family heirloom on her finger and she couldn’t help but feel sentimental.

“I love you, Alison.” She took Alison’s face in her hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

The kiss deepened. She felt Alison moving them towards the edge of the bed, Emily’s legs hitting the back of the mattress.

“Don’t you want to wait until our wedding night?” Emily lifted her brows, knowing that by teasing her she’d be drawing Alison’s wild side back out to play.

“Emily Fields, I will kill you.” Ali threatened. “I will kill you, bring you back to life, and then kill you again.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Emily shrugged. Ali scowled at her. “What? I always come back to you, don’t I?”

“Shut up and get in this bed.” Alison ordered.

“What makes you think I’m going to let _you_ take the lead here?” Emily questioned with a smile.

“Three months, Emily,” Her voice was husky, her breath hot against Emily’s face. “I’ve waited three months for this.”

Alison pushed her body against Emily’s again, their lips meeting in another crashing kiss, fierce and unabashed. There was a whirlwind of tongues and teeth and then suddenly, they were on the bed, Alison on top of Emily, straddling her hips. Alison’s hands slid up underneath Emily’s shirt, her fingers tickling her ribs. She pushed her shirt up, slowly, so she could take in the sight of Emily’s gorgeous toned body, inch by inch. Emily moved her arms to help her get her shirt off, but when she went to unclasp her bra, Alison grabbed her wrists roughly.

“No.” She hissed, pinning Emily’s hands beside her head. “Don’t move.” She wanted to be the one to undress her.

Emily felt a tingle go down her spine at hearing Alison’s sultry orders. She realized she’d really pushed Alison over the edge with her teasing all night. She made a mental note to do it more often, because, God, Alison looked so sinfully sexy right now. Emily fought her urge to reach out and touch Alison’s face. Alison could see Emily’s fingers twitching and she grinned as she leaned forward, her face closer to Emily’s face, closer to Emily’s hands, closer to driving Emily crazy.

Alison slipped a hand up Emily’s back, lightly dragging her nails across her delicate skin. Emily shivered underneath her, her hands balling into tight fists as she tried not to grab Alison and rub her fingers all along her body. Alison unclasped Emily’s bra and then slid one strap off of her shoulder. Then she slid the other strap down, exposing Emily’s bare chest. She ran her palms up Emily’s arms and closed her fingers around Emily’s wrists to hold her hands in place. She leaned down, kissing one breast, then the other. She felt Emily’s body jerk in response and she couldn’t help herself as she circled her right nipple with her tongue and then grazed it with her teeth.

“Jesus Christ, Ali.” Emily huffed. Her eyes widened and her arms started shaking, every fiber in her body urging her to yank her hands away from Alison’s grip and touch her, somewhere, anywhere.

Emily uttered several obscenities under her breath, evoking a smirk out of Alison. She sat up. In one swift motion, she leaned back and pulled her blouse off. Next, she slid her bra off. She saw Emily’s fingers splayed open on the pillow next to her head, her eyes full of desire. Emily was dying to touch her. Alison finally relented, pulling Emily’s right hand up towards her left breast. The second her warm palm made contact with Alison’s soft skin, she started kneading the tender flesh. She reached up with her other hand, her palm gliding over Alison’s stomach and up to her other breast. Alison returned the favor, her fingers brushing the underside of Emily’s left breast, her thumb grazing her nipple. Emily let out a satisfied sigh.

Alison leaned down to kiss Emily, taking her face in her hands, her tongue darting in Emily’s mouth. She felt the vibration of Emily’s soft groans reverberate against her lips. Emily pulled her hands away from Alison’s chest and firmly pushed the palm of one hand against the nape of Alison’s neck. She ran her other hand over the back of Alison’s head, her fingers tightening in her hair. Emily held Alison in a tight embrace as their lips meshed and melded and fought for dominance until both of them were breathing too hard to hold the kiss any longer.

Alison pulled back to catch her breath, feeling Emily’s warm palms slipping to the side of her neck. Alison’s hands slid away from Emily’s cheeks and trailed down to her collarbone. She leaned down to place delicate kisses all along the side of her neck and then brushed her lips over the top of Emily’s chest, slowly making her way down her body. Alison paused when she got to Emily’s newly healed incision. She lightly traced it with her fingers and then kissed the top portion of the scar, watching as Emily’s muscles tensed underneath her feathery lips.

“Does it still hurt?” Alison placed another soft kiss on the scar, a little further down this time.

“It’s numb.” Emily shook her head. “It just feels a little weird when something touches it.”

The scar was healing pretty well all things considered. But seeing Emily’s marred skin took Alison right back to three months ago. How close she’d come to losing her. How much Emily had endured. The pain she’d been subjected to. Alison felt herself quake with rage when she thought of everything Elliott had done to Emily. Emily felt the shift in Alison’s movements, she could sense the change in her tone. She hooked two of her fingers underneath Alison’s chin and then slid her palm against Alison’s face.

“Hey.” She motioned for Alison to look up at her. “It’s over. We survived.” She wiped away a tear of frustration that had spilled down her cheek.

Alison traced the outline of the scar again, Emily’s delicate skin automatically reacting to her touch. Alison saw her muscles twitching, her body tightening around the tender area. Alison gently put her hand against Emily’s chest, feeling her heart pounding, fast and hard. She swallowed a knot in her throat.

“Promise me if you feel even the slightest bit off you’ll let me know.” Alison searched Emily’s eyes for any hint of doubt.

“I will,” Emily said.

“Emily, I mean it. If this gets to be too much for your heart to handle, say something.” Alison warned her. “I don’t want to do anything that hurts you.” Nothing was worth risking Emily’s life.

“You won’t hurt me, Ali.” Emily rubbed her cheek. “We’re okay here. I promise.”

Alison nodded, leaning her cheek against Emily’s warm hand, relishing in her touch. Alison kissed her again. This time slowly, sensually. Her lips were tender against Emily’s. She could feel Emily’s chest rising and falling below her own and she relaxed into the kiss. She opened her eyes and found Emily’s eyes peering directly into hers, a passionate gaze reassuring her that this was really happening, that they got their happily ever after after-all.

Alison smiled at Emily, her hands rolling down her abs and sweeping gently across her stomach. Emily sighed. She felt like she could feel Alison’s hands everywhere. One second they were tickling her sides and the next they were cradling her cheeks, tracing over every contour of her face, like she was memorizing Emily’s face with her fingertips. Emily could feel the passion radiating off of Alison’s hands.

Emily reached up and ran her fingers across the small scar that the blade from Elliott’s scalpel had left on Alison’s pectoral muscle. She leaned up to place a soft kiss on the raised blemish. She laid back against the bed, looking at Alison above her, and she took a moment to appreciate the fact that they were both here, together.

Alison ran her hands through Emily’s hair, one hand sliding down until her palm was resting against the side of her neck again. She trailed her index finger of the other hand down Emily’s jaw, following the curves of her body until her palm came to rest on the side of Emily’s left breast. She gently traced the outline of her nipple, watching it harden under her touch. She rolled her fingers around the bud, tweaking it, and Emily quivered and let out a satisfied moan.

Emily slid her free hand to the front of Alison’s pants, popping the button and pulling the zipper down. Her fingers slid down inside the slacks. Emily inhaled a breathless whine when she realized that Alison wasn’t wearing any panties, her fingers finding her slick wet center. She pulled her hand away from Alison’s chest and started pawing at her pants. She had to get them off. She had to feel Alison. Alison propped herself up and helped Emily get the clothing off. Alison’s delicate fingers found the zipper on Emily’s skirt and she slid the zipper down, giving her the same seductive smile she had flashed at Emily thousands of times in high school. Emily felt her body twitch and she bit back a groan. Alison lifted herself off of her and pulled Emily’s skirt down, her fingers hooking into her panties and bringing them down with it.

Alison leaned forward again, her thigh falling between Emily’s legs, grinding against Emily’s core. Emily met her motions. Alison felt Emily’s legs squeezing her thigh, holding her in place. Their legs intertwined and slid together like two pieces of a perfect puzzle. Alison settled over Emily, trying to keep her weight on her elbow so the full force of her weight wouldn’t hurt Emily. She pressed her body firmly against Emily’s, feeling the heat between them, feeling their cores connect. Emily grabbed Alison’s ass and pulled her forward, trying to create more friction between their joined pelvic regions. Having Alison’s weight on top of her, her bare body flushed against hers was almost enough to make Emily come undone.

Alison buried her face next to Emily’s, trailing kisses along her jaw and down her collarbone, tasting the sweat building up on her body. She picked her head up, her lips finding Emily’s. Their mouths moved together in the same motions as their thrusting bodies. Alison sucked on Emily’s bottom lip and then pushed her tongue into Emily’s mouth and rolled it around, lapping up the taste of the girl she loved. Emily put her hand on the nape of Alison’s neck, pulling her closer to deepen the kiss. Alison slid her free hand away from Emily’s face and between their bodies, her fingers dipping down and slipping between Emily’s thighs, feeling a burning wetness waiting for her.

Emily pulled back and let out something between a moan and a sigh. Alison placed open-mouthed kisses along her cheek. Her hot tongue skimmed the inside of Emily’s ear as she ran her fingers through Emily’s folds. Emily shivered and cried out. Alison kissed her way down Emily’s body, tasting every inch of her. She slid back until she was at the edge of the bed. She fell to her knees on the ground, Emily’s legs spread before her. She looked up and saw that Emily was staring at her, her eyes filled with a burning need. It was a desire that Alison couldn’t wait to fulfill. Emily was the most important thing in her life, and all she wanted to do was make her feel good. She moved her hands gently down Emily’s thighs, her palms coming to rest on her knees. She looked up at Emily again, their eyes automatically locking.

“Don’t hold back.” Emily encouraged her.

“Oh, I won’t.” Alison’s eyes glistened.

She gripped the flesh right above her knees and pulled Emily closer to the edge of the bed, pressing hard, her fingers leaving indentations on Emily’s skin. She placed a kiss on the inner side of Emily’s right knee, smiling against her soft flesh when she heard Emily purr happily above her. Alison started kneading her fingers up and down Emily’s calves, slowly working her way up to the inside of her thighs. She would squeeze, then kiss. Squeeze, then kiss. Emily watched her, transfixed by how sexy she looked, and lost in the sensation of how good her mouth felt against her bare skin. Emily’s thighs twitched and her hips started thrusting forward gently. Alison delicately placed a kiss on Emily’s center, her tongue slightly grazing it, making Emily moan shamelessly loud.

Alison ran her hands up along Emily’s inner thighs, her thumbs grazing either side of Emily’s swollen lips. She slid her hands up the curves of her pelvis, her fingers running along the bones leading up to her hips. She crawled over Emily again, slowly climbing up her body, following her hands’ ascending motions. She shifted Emily towards the headboard and pressed her chest against Emily’s. She put one hand on Emily’s cheek, kissing her delicately. She could feel Emily’s heart beating wildly in her chest. She slid her free hand between Emily’s bust. She pulled back and looked at Emily with a look of apprehension. Emily knew exactly what she was thinking. She reached up and pushed her palm against the side of Alison’s jaw, her thumb coming to rest on the edge of Alison’s lip, tugging at it slightly.

“I’m fine,” Emily said between pants. She pushed her lips against Alison’s and then pulled away just enough to meet Alison’s gaze, her breath heavy. “Don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan to.” She lifted her brows with a sultry smile, a smile that let Emily know that she was in for a wild ride.

A primal instinct inside of Alison took control. She pulled her hand away from Emily’s chest and snaked it between where their pelvises were joined. She slid her fingers in between them and started drawing circles at Emily’s entrance. Emily instinctively started bucking her hips forward, begging for more. Emily’s thrusts hit the sensitive spot between Alison’s legs. She got lost in Emily’s motions for a minute, her fingers lingering between them. She had to concentrate to keep from turning into a shuddering mess on top of her. Alison bent over Emily, her free hand still on Emily’s cheek. She looked at Emily with her penetrating blue eyes, eyes that screamed how much she loved her. Alison leaned in for another kiss and then pulled back and found Emily’s eyes again before she pushed two of her fingers forward.

Emily’s breathing hitched when she felt Alison slip her fingers inside of her, moving with a gentle rhythm at first, and then becoming quicker, harsher. She slowly picked up the tempo, curling her fingers, hitting a spot that made Emily see stars. She inhaled a sharp gasp.

“Oh, God.” Emily cried out, more a groan than her actual voice. “Alison…” She exhaled a trembling breath.

Alison smiled hearing her name slip out of Emily’s lips. Emily pulled Alison’s face down, a strong desire to have Alison’s mouth on hers. Alison obliged, moving her lips against Emily’s, swallowing Emily’s moans as she pumped in and out, rhythmically, with conviction. She could feel Emily’s breathing quicken, tasting the heated gasps of her exhalations when she started panting into Alison’s mouth. Emily broke their kiss, needing to come up for air. She buried her face in Alison’s shoulder and grunted, her teeth grazing Alison’s skin.

Emily met Alison’s thrusts, their motions becoming fluid. She gripped the sheets in between her fingers and turned her face to the side, exposing her neck to Alison. Alison couldn’t resist nibbling on her sensitive flesh, biting gently, but not so gently she wasn’t leaving marks. Emily felt Alison brush her hair aside and then she felt Alison’s tongue slide up from her collarbone to her jaw.

“Ali, that…mmnmph – ” But that’s all Emily managed to get out before her brain completely shut down.

Emily hands unwound from the sheets. She slid her left hand across Alison’s back, feeling the thin coat of perspiration that had built up there. She dug her fingernails into the soft flesh between Alison’s shoulder blades. She grabbed the edge of the pillow with her other hand, scratching at it. After a few seconds her hand fell flat against it, palm up, fingers splayed out.

Emily took heaving breaths as she felt herself getting closer to the brink, her chest rising and falling against Alison’s body above her. Alison could feel Emily tightening and she knew she was close. Emily groaned. Her mouth fell open. Her eyes fluttered shut. Alison put her palm on Emily’s cheek and pushed the sweat soaked hair out of her face.

“Emily, look at me, baby,” Alison whispered against her ear, placing a gentle peck at the top of her jaw as she slowed her motions inside of Emily. “Open your eyes.” She pressed her lips against Emily’s and then pulled back, waiting for Emily’s eyes to find hers again.

Emily blew out a shaky shuddering breath and opened her eyes, her pupils dark and full, but her eyes bright. Alison searched her gaze for that spark that made her Emily Fields, smiling when she saw that light inside that radiated love. Those eyes could light up even the darkest of nights. Alison took a moment to appreciate the breathless trembling beauty beneath her. Her cheeks were red, her lips swollen and moist, the most provocative sounds that Alison had ever heard slipping through them. Alison’s free hand slid up Emily’s arm until her fingers touched her palm. She ran her fingers through Emily’s outstretched hand, lacing their fingers together. Alison brought her forehead down to rest against Emily’s, feeling her heated breaths against her face. Alison shifted on top of her, making sure her weight stayed on her legs and the elbow of her arm that was gripping Emily’s hand. She focused on the motions of her fingers, the heel of her palm hitting Emily’s sensitive bundle of nerves with a driving purpose as she curled her fingers.

“I love you,” Alison murmured softly against her face, her eyes fixed on Emily’s, burning with passion and affection.

Emily wanted to say to say it back. She wanted to chant it like a mantra. It’s all she could think, all she could feel. But her words were lost in Alison’s movements. She was completely and utterly under her spell, every nerve ending she had consumed by the woman on top of her. She tried to speak, but when she opened her mouth all she could do was pant and moan.

Emily didn’t have to say it back for Alison to know. She could see Emily’s eyes flickering with an emotional intensity that emanated her love. Alison smiled sweetly at her.

“I know.” Alison squeezed her hand, her lips hovering above Emily’s. “I hear you, sweetie.” She always heard Emily, even when she wasn’t speaking. She just felt her.

Emily raked her fingernails across Alison's back as her blonde beauty found the spot inside of her that only she knew how to reach. Alison felt Emily seize up and she tilted her chin up until her lips met Emily’s, swallowing her cries of pleasure before pulling back just enough to watch her come completely undone underneath her touch, her eyes never breaking contact with Emily’s.

Emily sucked in a gasp and her mouth dropped open as her body stiffened. She arched her back as she peaked, feeling waves of ecstasy crashing over her. Alison felt her clench around her fingers and then Emily’s entire body started contracting as she let go. Her thighs trembled, her body shuddered, her muscles tensed. Emily curled her wrist and moved her fingers into the back of Alison’s hand, squeezing it gently as she felt herself pulsing around Alison inside of her. She felt suspended in air, like time had stopped. It was just her and Alison. Nothing else existed. It’s like they were in the middle of the ocean, riding the gentle waves, the only two people in the world. It was a feeling that Emily never wanted to end.

Emily pulled her hand away from Alison’s and put her palm on the back of Alison’s neck, her fingers digging into her skin as she pulled Alison towards her until their foreheads were pressed against one another again, both hot and slick with sweat. Emily’s breath was heavy and heated and coming out in broken gasps. She held Alison there, both of them soaking in the other, connected, feeling like two halves of a whole. Alison was still inside of her. She moved gently, letting Emily ride it out. She got lost in Emily’s gaze, the beating of her long lashes so close that she could feel them fluttering against her skin. Her soft russet eyes were like beautiful mystical orbs pulling Alison in, a magnet of sheer love. She pecked Emily’s lips lightly as she slowly withdrew her fingers, watching Emily’s face as she did, memorizing every little detail.

Emily sighed, her body relaxing into the mattress underneath Alison. She dropped her hand, palm up next to her face, panting, still looking at Alison. Alison slid to the side, part of her body still draped over Emily’s, but her full weight completely off of her. She put her palm against Emily’s open hand and their fingers laced together again. Alison gently massaged her knuckles as Emily came down from her high, tracing her fingers over the delicate skin on the back of Emily’s hand. Emily closed her eyes and tried to regulate her breathing.

“You okay?” Alison asked, the palm of her free hand sliding up and landing flat against Emily’s chest. There was nothing she loved more than feeling her heart beating.

“Just…” Emily said, eyes still closed, mouth curled into a satisfied smile, “…give me a minute.”

Alison put her palm against Emily’s cheek, waiting on her to come back to her. Emily always came back to her. She marveled at how insanely beautiful Emily was, her lips full, her body glistening with sweat. She was essentially glowing.

“How do you feel?” Alison traced Emily’s cheekbone with her thumb.

 _Whole_. Emily thought to herself. Like a piece of her that she didn’t even realize was missing had been unearthed. Being back in Rosewood with Ali was so surreal. All the horrible things that had happened here didn’t matter anymore. Because the best thing that had ever happened to her was here, right in front of her. For the rest of their lives. Emily could feel her heart beating against her ribs. She could feel her pulse in every cell of her body.

“Em? Baby?” Alison’s tone was verging on worried. Worried they’d done too much, too fast. Always worried. Because she loved Emily so much.

“I’m here, Ali,” Emily said, eyes still closed, brain completely mush from the passion they’d just shared.

_“It’s you and me, Em. How about forever?”_

Emily smiled to herself. She opened up her eyes, blinking several times. She propped herself up and placed a tender kiss on Alison’s lips. She laid back, putting her hands on Alison’s face, her eyes landing on the ring on her finger, then on Alison’s soulful cerulean eyes.

“I’m here,” she said again, trying to reassure her. “Forever.”

Forever with Alison. She could get used to that idea. The love that Emily had for Alison had kept her heart beating through everything. Through all the trials and tribulations. Through the good and the bad. She was alive for one reason. One sole reason. Alison.

Her heart would forever belong to Alison DiLaurentis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dicked you guys around so much. SO MUCH. Did you really think I could leave you with anything other than a happy ending? At the risk of sounding like Marlene, this is a total love letter to my fans. I couldn’t in good conscience have gone with the depressing alternate ending. I hope I did Emison justice. Be nice about the bedroom shenanigans, because in all honesty this is the first time I’ve ever published explicit content AND it’s my first F/F story. Much like Congress, I had no idea what I was doing.
> 
> Thanks for reading. And I’ll say it again, louder for the people in the back: even if you’re quiet and have been too shy to post a review, know that I truly appreciate you reading my writing.
> 
> There is more than likely an epilogue coming. Initially, it was never going to see the light of day. But after much shadow-boxing with my inner critic, I think I'mma knock that bitch out and go for it.


	38. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here’s the deal, guys. Initially, I was just going to trash this epilogue. I’m that artist who looks at my work for way too long and finds every little imperfection and ends up hating my own creation. That inner-critic got to me with this one. It’s been sitting in the recycle bin for weeks. And it was honestly one click away from being deleted. Because “Forever” was my solid end, my vision of how I wanted the story to conclude. However, after an intense boxing match with myself, I knocked the angry inner bitch up and decided "Why not? I wrote it. Why not share it?"
> 
> So, enjoy. I hope it's everything you guys wanted and more.

* * *

 

The weather was perfect. The sun was slowly climbing up in the sky. The waves were crashing against the shore. In the distance there was a rainbow arching through the clouds and falling against the ocean in a burst of color, sparkling against the water’s edge. Ali closed her eyes, breathing in the fresh saltwater air. There was something that felt so clean about the air here. She glanced back out at the ocean, watching the waves roll against the sand, leaving imprints of their wake against the shore. It was paradise. The only thing missing was Emily by her side.

Ali leaned against the railing of the condo, her elbows flat against the soft wood. She sipped on her hard earned mimosa as she watched a single swimmer challenge the high tide. She saw a bobbing head disappear under the water and then emerge several yards away. She glanced up at the cliff overlooking the ocean, wondering how many daredevils had flung themselves off of it.

Her thoughts started to wander to her past. She’d once been that trash-talking reckless child that pretended she was invincible. So much had changed since then. _She_ had changed. Emily had changed her, in all the right ways. Her time with her girl had been the most precious gift in the world. When she turned her attention back to the crystal azure sea, the tide had settled some. She peered off in the distance. The water was empty now, except for the aquatic life that lurked beneath the surface.

Ali lingered on the deck for a little while, enjoying the free entertainment that Mother Nature provided. After she finished her drink she walked back in the condo, leaving the glass door open so she could hear the sounds of the ocean. She heard the front door opening and she walked around the corner towards the noise, smiling when she saw the beautiful woman walking towards her.

Emily had a bag slung over her shoulder. Her hair was wet and tangled, but somehow still impeccably perfect. She had a loose white tank top and a pair of beach shorts on over her suit. She met Ali’s gaze as she walked into the living room.

“Hey.” She smiled sweetly. “You’re up.” She tossed her bag on the floor next to the couch.

Ali walked over to her without saying a word and kissed her. When she pulled back she had a frown on her face.

“Are you insane?” Ali asked.

“Huh?” Emily asked, her dumb ‘confused puppy’ look on her face.

“Swimming on our wedding day? In high tide, no less?”

“It’s how I unwind.” Emily shrugged indifferently.

“Are you saying you have to unwind before you marry me?” Ali teased her.

“Yes.” Emily didn’t miss a beat. She leaned forward and captured Alison’s lips with her own. She pulled back with a smile. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Oh, kitty has claws,” Alison mocked her.

“Sharp ones.” Emily lifted her brow, tracing her nails across Alison’s arms.

“Careful, sweetie. I bite.” She took Emily’s bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down. She inhaled Emily’s intoxicating aroma. “Mmm, you smell like salt-water taffy.” Alison felt like licking her cheek.

“Save some of that for our wedding night,” Emily said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“What about our _rehearsal_ wedding night?” Alison smirked, her hands snaking underneath Emily’s tank top. She sighed when she felt Emily’s damp body against her fingertips.

“I don’t think we need to rehearse _that_. We’re award-winning all-stars in that department.” She grinned against Alison’s lips, thinking back on all the times the past year that they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off of each other. They’d even joined the mile high club.

“Practice makes perfect.” Alison shrugged, her fingers reaching up to untie the top of Emily’s strapless bikini. Seconds later, it fell out from underneath her shirt. Emily was impressed she’d been able to execute that move so flawlessly.

“Well, if you insist…” Emily smiled seductively at her. Her fingers trailed beneath Alison’s nightgown to the soft smooth skin of her inner thighs.

They were interrupted by a rapping at the door.

“Em!” Hanna called from outside. “You can’t avoid this final fitting. Do you realize how important today is?”

“I’m going to kill her.” Emily uttered under her breath.

Ali laughed, her eyes soft.

“You better listen to her or she’ll jab you with a safety pin.” Ali warned her.

“Why isn’t she all over you about this final fitting crap?”

“Because I had my final fitting yesterday, you avoidant fashionista.”

“I’m not even wearing anything complex.” If it was up to her she’d just get married in her sweats. “You’re the one who has to worry about dragging a family of sand crabs down the beach with your train.”

“Don’t even joke about that.” Ali scowled. She wanted their wedding day to be perfect.

“Emily!” Hanna yelled impatiently. “Mona and I are waiting!”

Emily was starting to regret picking her bossy best friend as her Maid of Honor and all around wedding designer. Hanna had enlisted Mona’s help in designing the perfect wedding dresses for Emily and Ali. Emily’s was laid back, less of a gown and more of a casual party dress. Ali had taken the more traditional route. She had wanted all the bells and whistles. They had decided early on that neither of them were going to wear shoes. They wanted to feel the sand between their toes.

Ali had asked Spencer to be her Maid of Honor, to which Spencer had responded, “as long as I don’t have to do anything.” Ali was more than happy to hear that, because she had her own plans. Spencer had basically just been Ali’s sounding board for her ideas, because she knew that Alison DiLaurentis was going to do what she wanted to do in the end.

Hanna had taken her duties as designer and Maid of Honor very seriously, talking about how her job was fashion and it was her duty as Emily’s best friend to make her and Ali pop on their wedding day.

Emily felt like she was about to pop, but not in the way that Hanna was thinking.

“Be there in ten minutes, Han.” Emily called back through the door. “I haven’t had breakfast yet.”

And by “breakfast” she meant “Alison”.

“God, they can’t keep their hands off of each other for two seconds,” Hanna said rather loudly to Mona.

“You’re one to talk.” Mona laughed. “I seem to recall finding you with Caleb with your dress halfway off thirty minutes before the ceremony on your wedding day.”

“He was helping me find a pin that was sticking me.” Hanna argued.

“ _Something_ was sticking you.” Mona smarted back.

Ali and Emily snickered. They waited for Hanna to knock again, and when she didn’t, Emily smirked at Alison and pushed her towards the couch. She laid her down and crawled on top of her. Ali wrapped her legs around Emily’s waist while Emily planted hot wet kisses up and down her neck. The next ten minutes were a whirlwind of hands, fingers, tongues, lips, and teeth. They got insanely lost in each other.

Emily’s phone interrupted them. Emily grumbled and pushed herself up, her strong arms on either side of Alison’s petite frame, her palms against the soft cushions of the sofa.

“We should have just eloped,” she muttered.

Sure, her mother would have been pissed and their friends would have given them hell for it, but at least they wouldn’t have had to deal with the headaches of a wedding. She looked down and saw that Alison had a look of bliss on her face, and all of her aggravation washed away.

“We’re getting married today,” Alison said, almost bashfully.

“We’re getting married today.” Emily repeated with a nod. She sighed and smiled at the blonde underneath her. She bent her elbows and leaned down to place a gentle peck on her cheek.

“Did you finish your vows?” Alison asked.

“I think I’m just going to wing it.” Emily teased her.

“Cute.” Alison rolled her eyes.

The truth was, Emily had written her vows long ago. She just had to tweak it to reflect the years that had passed. The times had changed, but her love for Alison had not.

“I love you.” Emily delicately kissed her swollen lips.

“I love you, too.” Ali smiled. She pushed herself up. “Okay, go away now.”

“Excuse me?” Emily laughed.

“I’m about to start getting ready. It’s bad luck for you to see me before the wedding.”

“What do you call what I’m doing right now? I’m looking right at you.”

“You know what I mean.” Ali glared at her.

“But I _want_ to look at you.” Emily feigned a pout. “I like the view.”

“Then take a picture and ogle it.”

“I do that every day.” Emily smiled as she stood up, helping Ali to her feet. “I’ll let Aria and Spencer know that you’re ready for them.”

Hanna and Mona were going to help Emily get ready, while Aria and Spencer were going to help Ali. She went to the condo next to theirs where the girls had gathered. Hanna and Mona took one look at Emily and their faces pinched in aggravation.

“Oh, hun…” Mona shook her head. “You went swimming?” She looked at Emily incredulously.

“Yeah,” Emily replied nonchalantly.

“On the morning of your wedding?”

“Yeah…” Why was everyone making such a huge thing out of this? It’s not like they hadn’t known she’d be drawn to the water.

“Oh, we have got _a lot_ of work to do on that hair.” Mona shook her head in disapproval.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll just run a brush through it.”

“Get in the shower. _Now_.” Hanna pushed her towards the bathroom.

As she was being shoved towards the restroom, she mentioned to Aria and Spencer in passing that Ali was ready for them, then she mouthed “help me!” as Hanna pushed her through the open door. She heard Aria and Spencer cackling at her misfortune as they left.

 _Traitors._ She thought to herself.

Hanna all but undressed Emily and turned the water on for her. She felt like a child being corralled for picture day at school.

“Don’t take too long. We’re doing your make-up as soon as your mom gets back with the foundation I asked for.”

“I can do my own damn make-up.” Emily stepped into the shower.

“We want you to look like a bride, not a hipster begging for change.” Hanna brushed her off. “Just shut up and let me do my job.” She opened the bathroom door and called out for Mona. “Plug the curling iron in and grab the emergency hair-kit from my bag.”

“Hanna, the whole point of this beach wedding is for it to be low-key.” Emily peered out around the shower curtain, wrapping it around the top portion of her body.

“There’s no such thing when it comes to Alison.”

Emily knew she had no argument, so she obeyed Hanna’s orders. She was patient with her when she accidentally stabbed her with a last minute pin to take the dress in just the slightest bit. She was patient with her when she got too close to the back of her neck with the curling iron. She was patient with her when she poked her in the eye with the eyeliner pencil. She blinked hard, trying not to ruin Hanna’s mascara job, lest she have to repeat the _entire_ process over again.

“God, Han, after all these years you _still_ have all the subtly of a hand grenade.” Her eye started to water.

“You knew what you were getting yourself into when you asked me.” Hanna didn’t apologize.

Emily frowned at her. She was really starting to rethink that ‘not eloping’ deal.

“I think it looks great, Hanna.” Pam smiled at her daughter, snapping pictures insanely too close to Emily’s face.

Her mother kept adjusting her hair and invading her personal space. Emily couldn’t turn her head a fraction of an inch without her mother being in her face. She pulled back and looked at her.

“Mom, I love you.” Emily smiled. “I do. But you’re hovering.”

“Of course I’m hovering, sweetie!” Her happiness was practically radiating off of her face. “You’re getting married today.”

“So I’ve been told.” Emily motioned to her ensemble. She looked up at her mother and couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t seen her this excited in years. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything you need.” Pam nodded.

“Would you check on Ali for me?” Emily asked. “You’re basically the only parent she’s got.”

Jason was practically the only person in Ali’s family that was there for her, and he was in the guys’ condo tending to them as they all slept off their hangovers from the night before. He’d been the only sober one at dinner.

“I’d be happy to.” Pam was eager to help. She quickly scurried out the door.

Emily saw Mona smirking at her.

“What?” Emily asked.

“You did that just to get rid of her, didn’t you?” Mona asked.

“Would have done it to you two if I thought it would have worked.” She shrugged. She’d meant what she’d said to her mother, but her motives were purely selfish.

While Emily was being dragged into the world of wedding fashion kicking and screaming, Ali was next door trying not to let her nerves get the better of her. She’d faced so much in her life, so it surprised her when she felt butterflies in her stomach. She couldn’t figure out why she was so nervous. She’d waited her entire life to marry the person she loved. She felt her stomach doing flips. Her face tightened and she bit her lip.

“You need the upchuck bucket?” Spencer teased Ali.

“Spencer.” Aria nudged her with a frown. “She’s clearly already stressed enough as it is.”

“I’m not.” Ali insisted. And it was the truth. Marrying Emily was the easiest thing in her life. “I just…” A smile crept across her face. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”

“You two deserve it.” Aria fixed one of Ali’s stray hairs.

For the most part, Ali had gotten herself ready, pushing Spencer and Aria away like a defiant 5-year-old who had made the declaration that she was old enough to choose her own wardrobe for school. Fortunately she had more fashion sense than her 5-year-old self. Neither Aria nor Spencer had tried too hard to overrule her need to be in control. Because they knew they’d lose, especially today.

“Yeah, we’re really happy for you, Ali.” Spencer added.

“Knock, knock!” Pam timidly tapped on the door as she pushed it open. “Mind if I come in?”

“Please.” Ali motioned for her to join them.

Pam walked in to the condo, closing the door behind her. She took a moment to appreciate Ali’s wedding dress. She looked stunning. No wonder her daughter was in love with this woman.

“Alison, you look beautiful, dear.” Pam was smiling from ear to ear.

“Thank you. So do you. I really like those shoes.” Ali eyed Pam’s wedding-wear, still trying to let it soak in that today was real.

“Well, you clearly have more fashion sense than my daughter.” Pam snickered.

“Let me guess. She’s giving Hanna and Mona hell?”

“You know her so well.”

“Did she kick you out?”

“Politely.” Pam nodded.

She wasn’t an idiot. She knew that Emily was just trying to get her out of her personal space. But she didn’t mind, because she’d been planning on checking on Ali anyway. Pam put her hand on Ali’s cheek.

“I am so happy you two found each other.” More than once, and in more ways than one.

“Thanks for being here.” Ali smiled.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Pam took Ali’s manicured hands in hers. “It gives me peace of mind knowing that you’ll take care of her for the rest of her life.” Pam squeezed her fingers delicately. “You know, you’ve been a part of this family longer than you realize. I’m happy to see it become official today.”

Ali felt tears stinging her eyes.

“Thank you so much.”

“Okay, we should probably stop with the mushy stuff.” Aria was holding back tears of her own. “We’re all going to ruin our make-up.”

Emily was doing a pretty good job of ruining her make-up _without_ crying. She’d had a momentary lapse in judgment and rubbed what she thought was sleep out of the corner of her eye, smearing some of her eye make-up by accident. Fortunately, Hanna had an emergency repair kit for everything.

“I swear you did this just to spite me.” Hanna fixed her eyeliner.

“If I wanted to spite you I’d just eat the leftover chips and salsa from last night and risk turning this dress into an _actual_ party dress, fiesta style.”

“Emily Fields, don’t you even think about it.”

Emily was getting a kick out of how serious Hanna was being about this wedding. She hadn’t even seen her this amped up on her own wedding day. In fact, she’d been pretty laid back the day she married Caleb.

“Do you have any idea how long we have all waited for the two of you to get your acts together and walk your stubborn asses down the aisle?”

“How charming. Is that your wedding toast?” Emily asked sarcastically.

“Well, I mean, not in its entirety. I’ll probably tack on a ‘it’s about damn time’ at the end or something.” Hanna fiddled with Emily’s hair.

“That’s sweet.” Kind of. “You must have worked on that for months.” She gave Hanna a hard time.

“God, how does Ali deal with that smart mouth?” Hanna huffed out in annoyance.

“Very explicitly.” Emily raised her brows.

“You two are perfect for each other.” Hanna rolled her eyes. She grabbed a mirror and handed it to Emily. “Well? What do you think?” She asked for her input. “I do good work, right?”

Emily smiled, finally giving Hanna the praise that she’d been looking for.

“Yes, Hanna. You did great.”

“You nervous?” Hanna asked.

“After everything we’ve been through?” Emily laughed. “This is a piece of cake.”

She’d never felt more at ease in her life. Her nerves didn’t fully hit her until she and Alison were standing under the flowery bamboo awning on the beach, toes in the sand, their hands joined. The minister was talking about the sanctity of marriage, but she didn’t hear a word he was saying. She couldn’t look away from her beautiful bride. She only peered away once when she heard a camera snapping. She glanced at her mother, her friends, and their partners – all smiling, all emitting a joy that Emily could feel down in her bones. When Emily turned around again she saw the minister saying something to Alison, and suddenly she was paying attention because she knew that Alison was getting ready to speak.

“Emily, you have taught me so much.” Alison put pressure on Emily’s fingers as she spoke, trying so hard not to cry and ruin her mascara. “But the most important thing I learned from you is to appreciate life. Your entire life you’ve been a survivor. I have watched you clear every hurdle that has been thrown into your path with a determined tenacity that is burrowed into your core. But something I’ve learned about you is that you don’t just survive. You _live_. You live with every part of your soul. And you taught me to do the same…to be fearless, but not heartless.”

Alison’s hands tightened around Emily’s and she could feel them shaking as she tried not to cry. She took a moment to pause and gather her emotions and to appreciate the look on Emily’s face. The color rushing to her cheeks. The modest smile on her face. The beautiful watery glint in her eyes, a swirling mix of cinnamon and sienna full of the life she had lived and the life they still had before them. Those deep pools of sweet dark auburn engulfed Alison in a warmth she never wanted to end.

“When we were younger I was afraid of our love. I was afraid of putting myself out there for you, because I thought I might lose you. And losing you was always my biggest fear. So I put up walls, because I assumed it was easier to fantasize about what might have been instead of risking everything and losing it all. I was afraid that we wouldn’t survive. But you knew we would, because that’s who you are. Who you’ve _always_ been. You never gave up. I was insecure, but you were sure. I was scared, but you were sure. I was undeserving of you in my doubts. But you were sure.” Alison smiled through her tears. “I spent my whole life running, but you always found me. I was too blind to see that I was looking for something that was right in front of me the entire time. You loved me at my best and at my worst. You took the harsh realities in my life and you became that sunshine that I needed. Instead of tearing my walls down, you helped me find the courage to climb over them myself. You are the reason I am still standing here. You brought us together because you _believed_ in us. And it is for that very reason that I want forever with you.”

Emily stood stunned, speechless. The beauty of Alison’s words were to Emily’s heart what oxygen was to life. She could feel Alison’s love like an electrical charge in her body.

“Emily?” The minister turned the attention towards her, prompting her to go ahead with her own vows.

“God, why’d I agree to go second?” Emily huffed out a tearful laugh. “I don’t think I can top that.”

There was a collective laugh from her friends and family. Emily had to take a breath to calm herself down.

“Alison, you talk about certainty and conviction like this love was a choice I made. It wasn’t. I didn’t make that decision. It came naturally. Loving you is as easy as breathing. There has never been anything else in my life that felt so right, so effortless. I fell in love with you the moment I met you, and I fall more in love with you every day. There has not been one second when I looked at you and didn’t feel my heart beating faster in my chest.” Emily swallowed, surprised at how hard it was to get these words out without breaking down. She’d rehearsed this a million times in her head. “Even when the world around us was falling apart, all I had to do was look at you, and I was reminded that my world was still worth living in, because you were in it. You gave me so many beautiful moments.”

Moments she was certain that Alison had no idea how much they’d meant to her at the time. Or perhaps she had. Because looking back, Alison had entrusted her with her heart long before Emily realized it. When she gave Emily her grandmother’s snowglobe for safe-keeping. When she risked everything to save her from carbon monoxide poisoning when they were in high school and Alison was in hiding. When she all but told Emily she was alive that day. When she held on to the letters and cards and other little keepsakes Emily had given her, keeping them safely tucked away and treating them like they were the most precious things she’d ever received. Every time Alison pushed Emily to take better care of herself and every time she had let her guard down around her had been an admission of her love.

“And all of our little moments that led to this one created this beautiful snapshot of our lives in my mind, and looking back all I can see is you. It’s always been you. I look back and cherish the fact that we’re here, inevitably…that we were meant to be. We were _always_ meant to be. Even when outside forces tried to keep us apart, we found a way back to each other. I feel the hold that you have on my heart in my soul, so much so that you are the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night.” Her voice trembled, but she kept it together. “If the world was ending tomorrow, I would want to spend my last today with you. Because you are my home. My love. My everything.” She brought Alison’s hands up to her face and kissed her knuckles. “Alison, if I only had a fraction of your love to carry me through the rest of my life, it would be enough. Because you are my once in a lifetime.”

Alison had broken her rule about not crying and ruining her mascara. Tears of joy were streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t think it was possible to love Emily any more than she already did, but Emily was constantly finding new ways to challenge that belief. Alison didn’t have to wait to be prompted by the minister to kiss her bride. Before he could get his next words out, Alison’s lips were on Emily’s in a bruising kiss that sent shivers down Emily’s spine. Her hands were on Alison’s face a half a second later, pulling her closer and smiling against her mouth.

“I love you.” Alison whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too.” Emily half laughed, half cried.

The minister interrupted long enough to have them exchange rings and then let the kissing commence again. The rest of the afternoon was a blur. There was a lot of hugging, a bit of dancing, and a ton of stories being shared. Alison couldn’t take her eyes off of Emily, so she noticed when Emily slipped away peering at her phone with a worried brow. She made her way through the crowd of her friends to follow her. It took her longer to find her than she expected, but she eventually found her out on the lanai overlooking the ocean. Ali walked up behind her, a little irritated that she’d run off, yet also a bit concerned about what had caused her to run off.

“Hey.” She walked over next to where she was standing. Emily’s phone was on the railing. “I thought we said no phones today.”

“Yeah, no. I know.” Emily nodded. She looked dazed.

“What’s wrong?” Ali felt her throat clenching up.

“That was the doctor.” Emily glanced at the phone.

“And?” Ali asked eagerly, eyes wide, taking Emily’s hand. Emily’s face wasn’t readable. It made Ali insanely nervous. “Em, whatever it is, we can face it together.” She squeezed her fingers.

The dumbfounded look on Emily’s face slowly faded, replaced by a tentative smile.

“Ali, it was the geneticist. He says the gene is recessive. Our kids would be fine,” Emily said. “They wouldn’t inherit my heart issues.”

Now it was Ali’s turn to be gobsmacked. The two of them had been discussing starting a family, but they had hit a few roadblocks. They had talked about their options, including adoption and IVF. Ali had been quick to tell Emily she didn’t want to use her eggs, because she was afraid of passing on her family’s mental illness issues. She couldn’t deny that addiction and psychosis were in her blood. Her father had issues with drinking, and she’d grown up watching Jason battle his alcohol and drug addiction. And she’d watched Charlotte battle her psychosis every day for five years. She was terrified she would pass something horrible along to their children.

Emily’s medical history was sketchy at best. Her concern was that she’d pass her heart condition on to their kids. She’d often wondered what her parents would have done had her father known about his heart problems before they’d had her. Knowing her dad, he probably would have told her he wouldn’t have changed a thing, because then they wouldn’t have had her. Some things were worth diving in the deep end for.

The other problem with Emily being the one to carry was the fact that it would be a high risk pregnancy, one that the doctors did not recommend. But they did offer an alternative solution. They could do genetic tests to see if Emily would pass her heart condition down to her children. If it so happened that the genes would not be passed down, they could retrieve Emily’s eggs and do IVF on Ali and she could carry the baby. After months of deliberation, they’d decided that’s what they wanted to do.

And now, it was a reality.

“My cardiologist cleared me for the procedure. They told me we can schedule it whenever we want.” Emily smiled through her tears of joy.

Ali was overwhelmed with emotions. She wasn’t sure what to say. There were so many thoughts running rampant through her head. She was so used to things going wrong that when things actually went right she wasn’t sure how to react. She wanted to pinch herself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Emily watched her wife’s reaction carefully, trying to read what was going on behind her eyes.

“Alison?” Emily ran her fingers up along Ali’s arm to try and bring her back to reality. “Hey…” She peered into her eyes. “What are you thinking?”

“I…” Ali shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t…” She couldn’t find the words to express what she was feeling.

“Are you having doubts?” Emily asked.

“God, no.” Ali was quick to respond, her hand squeezing Emily’s wrist, a soft smile on her face. “No. I want this,” she said, her eyes filling with tears of delight. “I want this with you.”

She pictured nuzzling her smiling child’s face with her nose and showering a soft baby face with kisses. She could hear a house full of screaming fits of precious laughter as Emily tickled their kid so hard that giggles filled the air around them. She saw tiny muddy handprints all over the place, because any child of Emily’s was going to be an adventurer who got down and dirty and danced in the rain. And she pictured picnics in the park, sitting on a blanket with Emily, the two of them watching a wide-eyed child explore the world with a sense of enthusiastic wonderment and excitement that could only be appreciated through the eyes of a child. And she imagined learning things from being a parent that she would never learn otherwise, and experiencing things she would cherish for the rest of her life. The thought of having a child used to scare her. She used to worry that she wouldn’t be a good mother or that her child would be worse than she was when she was little. But having a baby with Emily made her feel nothing but pure joy. She knew that with her wife by her side, she could do anything.

“What about you?” Alison pushed a wisp of hair behind Emily’s ear. “How do you feel about this?”

“Having a family with you?” Emily couldn’t believe she was saying the words. It felt surreal. Being with Alison and having a family with her had felt like a distant dream when she was younger, but she never stopped believing it could happen. “I’ve never wanted anything more.” She smiled and delicately grabbed Alison’s face, their lips gently brushing together.

When she pulled away, Alison was beaming. She had a spark in her eyes, her irises glistening like sapphires saturated with a unique vivid hue that only existed on Alison DiLaurentis.

“We’re going to be moms.” The inflection in Alison’s voice went up as her excitement turned into a kind of euphoric bliss, her face lighting up. She couldn’t believe it. “We’re going to get our forever.”

Emily couldn’t find the words to express the emotions she was feeling. She nodded, feeling tears forming in her own eyes, those honest eyes that not only told Alison how much Emily loved her, but _showed_ her. Emily grinned, a smile that was almost all teeth. She put her palms against Alison’s neck, her thumbs hooking underneath Alison’s jaw as she pulled her new bride to meet her lips. Alison moved her lips against Emily’s, neither one of them wanting to break the embrace. She put her hands on Emily’s waist, pulling her closer. Alison could feel the kiss in every cell of her body, all the way down to the tips of her toes. She’d felt passion, but this was _love._ Real love in its rawest form.

Their noses brushed against one another when they finally pulled apart, both smiling, eyes fixed on each other. Alison brought her hand up and placed it on Emily’s cheek. Emily tilted her chin down, her forehead meeting Alison’s. Her hands slid down Alison’s arms until their palms were touching. She wove her fingers into Alison’s and Alison turned her elbows inward, bringing their hands up between them until their clasped fingers were resting between their bodies.

“I love you, Alison.” Emily was unable to stop the happy tears from falling down her cheeks. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Em.”

They shared another kiss, their hands tightening as their embrace deepened. A loud laugh from their wedding party on the beach drew them out of their entrancement.

“We should go.” Alison’s voice was quiet against Emily’s face. “We have a party waiting for us.”

“Ali,” Emily said with a smile. “We have the rest of our lives waiting for us.”

Alison placed one more gentle peck on Emily’s lips before she slowly pulled away, one hand dropping to her side, but the other still clutching Emily’s palm. She tugged on her hand, pulling her towards where their family was waiting for them.

They spent the rest of that day basking in the glow of what their lives had become. That night they walked the beaches of Maui, hands clasped, fingers laced together, more in love than ever. They were no longer dreaming of the future. They were living it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who read this work, I thank you. Sincerely. It means the world to me. I joke a lot about that pesky inner critic (don't all artists have one?), but I do struggle with my confidence in my ability to write. I always have. But it's never stopped me from doing it, because I am one stubborn woman. 
> 
> One final note: I did have an alternate ending written, but it's insanely dark and sad and depressing and I felt like an asshole re-reading it for the edit. It was one of those things where I went, "God, this it awful. You are a terrible human." Whether or not I post it here is up to you guys. If you want to see it, I'll take you on that emotionally twisted ride. Or, if you'd prefer just to leave it at this epilogue, then I can do that, too. And if you do ever get the urge to see just how sadistic my little mind can be when writing drama, the alternate ending *will* be posted on fanfiction dot net (username Forever Without Him).
> 
> Thank you all again. Until next time, stay frosty.


	39. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't originally planned on posting this alternate ending here, but I've got a reader on Fanfic dot net who wanted to download the story to her kindle and since fanfic doesn't have an option for that she asked if I'd be so kind as to post here so she could have the full story, alternate ending and all.
> 
> If you decide to read it, go in to it knowing that it's super-depressing. I like to really challenge myself as a writer, and this was the goddamn Olympics of challenges for me. I’m not kidding guys. It’s brutal. Like “I feel like absolute shit for writing it” brutal.
> 
> When I plot out my stories I always give myself two endings. I plan out two solid ends that mirror one another in a way that the context leading up to the end is the same, but the content of the resolution is not. So after the reveal of A and after the climax of the battle scene between Alexander/Emily/Ali the story could have gone one of two ways. I think I chose my ending well. I don’t think I would have been able to sleep at night (not that my insomniac brain can sleep anyway) if I had left you with this ending. Because it’s some Shakespearean tragedy type of shit. In the words of my best friend: “I’m afraid of you now.”

* * *

 

Ali was shivering, but she couldn’t tell if it was from pain, fear, shock, or something else. Her body felt cold. She had her head tilted towards the ceiling, her sight blurry from the non-stop tears pooling in her eyes and spilling down her face. Emily’s body weight was pressed against her, Ali still gripping her tightly. Time felt like it was at a standstill, like every second was an eternity.

She felt a rising hope in her chest when she felt Emily move in her arms. She pulled in a sharp breath and held it as she looked down. She couldn’t see Emily through all of her tears. She quickly blinked them away. Her heart sank when she saw that Emily’s chest was pulsing up and down in short bursts as she struggled to get her breath. Her mouth was parted, her stomach heaving up and down. Her gasps were short and labored. Her arms twitched and her legs started to tremor. Ali was terrified that the movement was going to make the internal bleeding worse, so she tried to keep Emily’s upper body as still as possible, wrapping her arms around her to try and hold her steady.

Emily’s chest continued to jolt as she fought for air. Her eyelids twitched and flickered. Her head bobbed up and down as she gasped and wheezed. Her neck snapped back violently and her eyes popped open. For the briefest second Ali felt relief. Relief at seeing her awake. Relief that she wasn’t gone yet. She felt a speck of hope. It was quickly diminished when she saw the look in Emily’s eyes. Her gaze was fixed and empty. Her eyes were glassy, her face devoid of all of its color.

“Emily?” She tried to get Emily to look at her, but Emily’s eyes were vacant.

Emily pinched her brows together and her mouth fell open like she wanted to scream, but nothing came out. Her entire body tensed up. Her agony was palpable. Ali felt helpless. She didn’t know how to take her pain away.

“Don’t worry, Em. Help is on the way.” She had no idea if it was the truth or not, but she just had to hold fast to the idea that help would get there on time. “Just hold on.”

Emily’s chest stopped moving. She locked her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut in pain. She slowly opened them back up. Her eyes were open, but it’s like she couldn’t quite see her surroundings. Her uninjured hand shot up, trying to find Ali, to focus on her instead of the pain. Ali quickly took her hand and Emily squeezed her fingers with the most intense amount of pressure Ali had ever felt, her fingernails cutting into Ali’s skin. Ali could feel her every emotion, and it was staggering.

“I’m right here. I’m right here, Emily,” she said reassuringly, lifting her slightly so she could place a kiss on her forehead. “Keep breathing, sweetie. Just keep breathing.”

Emily tried to suck in a breath, but her lungs couldn’t expand. Her watery eyes found Alison’s. She blinked, trying to focus, determined to see through whatever darkness she was shrouded in. Through all of her pain and fear, a look of recognition washed across her face. She could see her. She could see Alison. For a fraction of a second, she relaxed. Her pain wasn’t as pronounced.

But then she blinked again and that split second of comfort was replaced by the harsh reality of what was happening. It was a look that made Ali’s breath catch in her throat, seizing her with a mixture of heartbreak and terror. Because Emily knew she was dying. She knew. She could feel it. She was drowning. Her lungs were filling up with blood and she couldn’t get the air she needed. Ali had never seen Emily look so weak – so broken. This girl had been her lifeline for years. Emily had been her guardian. Her protector. She was fearless and determined. She was someone who never let her weaknesses show. But all of those walls had come down, and she was terrified, because she knew her life was slipping away, for good this time. No second chances. No more miracles.

A wet gurgling sound came out of her mouth, a muffled cry buried in her throat. She tried to say something, but when she opened her mouth all that came out was flecks of blood. She clenched her jaw and blood pooled at the corner of her lips. Her body started shaking as the lack of oxygen reached her brain. Ali saw the light in her eyes dimming and her heart dropped into her stomach. Because she couldn’t lose her. She couldn’t watch her die. Not when they were so close to getting out of this.

“Hey, look at me. Focus on me. You’re going to be okay. Just focus on me.” Ali begged. Emily’s eyes flickered. “Emily, _look at me._ ” Her voice came out thick and broken. “You’re not going to die today. You’re not.”

Emily’s mouth fell open again, her lips forming Ali’s name without sound. There was another brief flicker in Emily’s eyes. And Ali saw that last look of love. That glance that Ali knew so well. She’d recognize it anywhere.

Emily peered at her, through her fear, her eyes emitting how much she loved Ali. Because she knew this was it. She knew this was the end. And she wasn’t going to die without telling Ali how much she loved her one last time. She pulled her hand away from Ali’s and reached up to touch her face, her fingers leaving traces of blood on her cheek. She couldn’t speak, but her touch spoke volumes. It was very much a touch that said _“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I love you.”_ Ali put her hand on top of Emily’s, holding it in place.

“I know, sweetie. I hear you.” Ali cried. She closed her eyes, trying to memorize Emily’s touch. “I love you, too.” She opened her eyes, tears blinding her sight again.

There was a slight nod of Emily’s head as she acknowledged Ali’s words. She kept her gaze fixed on Ali, tears spilling backwards down the sides of her face. Emily coughed, blood splattering everywhere, but she kept her focus on Ali. Her stomach clenched and her eyes started to drift away. More liquid started oozing out of her mouth.

“Oh, God. Baby…”

Emily’s hand slipped out from underneath Ali’s and her eyes rolled back into her head.

“No. No, no, no.” The word kept falling out of Ali’s mouth. She said it so many times it didn’t feel like a real word anymore. “Emily, no.” She tightened her grasp on Emily.

Emily’s head slunk forward, her body still twitching. Ali put her palm on Emily’s face. Her cheek felt like ice underneath her hand.

“Emily Catherine Fields, you will not die.” Ali ordered. “You come back to me, do you hear me? You come back to me right now. You…come on.” She felt nauseous. “Don’t. This is not over. You’re not going to die here. You’re…you have to live. You can’t leave me alone. You can’t. We’re going to have forever. We’re supposed to…we…you promised me forever.”

Emily’s jaw went slack and a strangled breath came out of her mouth. Blood trickled from her left nostril. Her chest stopped moving entirely, and then seconds later she was completely still. Ali stared at her chest, waiting for it to move again. Willing it to move. Begging for her to take a breath. Because Emily couldn’t die. She couldn’t die after everything. Not here. Not because of what Elliott had done to her.

“Em.” Ali begged. “Baby…” She choked. “Baby, please.”

She felt for Emily’s pulse. Her heart was barely beating. Her skin was turning white from the blood loss. Her fingernails were turning blue from the lack of oxygen. Ali gently laid her against the floor and tilted her head back.

“I’ve got you. Just hold on, honey.”

If Emily couldn’t breathe, Ali was going to breathe for her. She pinched Emily’s nostrils closed and pushed her chin up. She put her lips on Emily’s, tasting the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth, Emily’s lips cold against hers. She tried to blow a breath into her mouth, but was met with resistance. She could feel warm liquid bubbling into her mouth and trickling down Emily’s jaw, but she kept pushing.

“Breathe.” She pulled back to take a breath and saw the blood on Emily’s lips. She had to choke back a sob before she tried again. “Emily, breathe.” She swept the fingers of her free hand across Emily’s cheek and tried to give her another breath. “Come on.” Her tears were running down her cheeks and on to Emily’s face. She didn’t stop. She kept trying to force air into her lungs. “Sweetie, you have to breathe.” She pulled back, her hand rubbing Emily’s face. “Please don’t die. _Please don’t die_.” Her voice came out meek and quiet, terrified and small.

Emily’s lips were blue. Her skin was a ghostly shade of white. She didn’t even look like Emily anymore. Ali frantically searched for her pulse, finding nothing. That’s when Ali knew it was over. She couldn’t save her. Giving Emily chest compressions with her open incision and internal bleeding was not an option. It would only kill her faster.

Emily was going to die. And at that moment Ali knew that the only thing she could do was hold her and make sure she didn’t die alone. She pulled Emily into her arms again, her body heavy and limp, her head rolling against Ali’s arm. Blood trickled from both her nose and her mouth now. Ali pulled her close. Emily’s cheek fell against her body above her right breast. Ali lowered her head, pushing it against Emily’s, her body jerking with sobs. Ali’s heart seized in her chest. She felt like someone had reached in and was squeezing it in a vise.

“I’m here, Emily.” Ali held her tight, her voice breaking through her sobs. “I’m right here with you.” She kissed her forehead. “You’re not alone.” Her tears fell on to Emily’s cheeks. “You’re not alone.” She repeated. “I won’t leave you. I’m right here.”

She was shaking so aggressively that Emily’s body trembled in her arms. Emily’s voice echoed in her brain, the words on a constant loop.

_“I love you, Alison.”_

It was just like Emily for her last words to be a declaration of love. She couldn’t leave without letting Ali know how much she loved her. Though, her love was not something that Emily had to prove to her. Ali had known. She had always known. She could feel it in her soul.

“I’m so sorry.” Ali sobbed. “God, I’m so sorry.” It was her fault. Elliott never would have come after Emily if it wasn’t for her. “I love you so much. I love you, Emily. I love you.”

She kissed the top of Emily’s head with force, pressing her lips firmly to her skull, smelling her shampoo. She had a smell that was so uniquely Emily. It hit her that she was never going to smell that beautiful aroma again after today.

Ali’s entire future slipped away with Emily. She watched as their sandy beaches turned into a massive hurricane, drowning Ali in her sorrow. She was no longer in the arms of her beloved. She was alone, standing in the middle of the blackest of nights with no light to guide her. Emily was dying, and taking Ali with her. Because Ali didn’t know herself without Emily. She was lost without her.

Every minute that went by was like a dagger to Ali’s heart. The room was agonizingly quiet. She looked down at Emily in her arms, gently rocking her as she cried. She saw Emily’s eyes staring back at her, but the life in them was gone. Ali felt all of the warmth leave her body. She felt weak. Dizzy. Her insides felt like they were being ripped in half. She let out a piercing scream. She wailed loudly, her cries echoing down the hall. She cried so hard that her chest started to clench in pain. Or maybe that was her heart breaking. She pulled Emily up, struggling to hold her weight in her trembling arms.

“I won’t let you go, baby,” she whispered between sobs. “I’ve got you.” She ran her fingers through Emily’s hair. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Moments later she heard screaming. At first she thought it was her cries of grief internally embedding in her brain. But then she heard someone shout her name and heavy footsteps racing towards them. Her head jerked up, and after a few seconds Spencer appeared, Toby right behind her. Hanna and Aria were behind him.

“Ali, the ambulance is on its way. They’re right behind us. They…”

Spencer stopped in her tracks when she came upon them. Her eyes widened. Her mouth dropped open and she heaved out a heavy breath. Hanna wheezed out a quiet whimper. Aria gasped in shock and turned away, tears stinging her eyes. Toby was the only one who didn’t look shocked. He had a sad look of resolve on his face. He’d known when he left. He’d seen it in Emily’s eyes. But he’d had to try.

The looks on their faces were more than Ali could bear. The girls were motionless for a moment. Hearing it at the hospital had been enough. But to actually see Emily lying there lifeless, Ali covered in her blood, was something they would never recover from. They’d had the slightest bit of hope after Toby had run in to them and told them what was going on. Even though he didn’t paint a very bright picture they thought that maybe, just maybe, Emily had a little more fight left in her.

“Oh, God.” Aria looked like she wanted to throw up. Her voice was soft and strained. “We’re too late.” She looked at Spencer.

“No.” Ali shook her head absentmindedly. “No. We can help her,” she said frantically. “Now that you’re here, we can…it…it’s not too late. Help me – help me get her breathing again, until…until the paramedics get here. They can save her. If we just…we…we can get her back.”

“Alison…” Spencer leaned down, tears pooling in her eyes, her voice softer and shakier than any of them had ever heard it. One hand reached out to Ali, the other falling below Emily’s head. “Ali, she’s gone.”

It took a moment for Spencer to realize how much those words hurt to say. Her shock was making it so that there was a delayed reaction between seeing Emily’s body and the link in her brain that told her she was actually _looking_ at Emily’s body.

“Spence, she can come back from this. She has before. Help me. Please help me,” she gently started to lay Emily down. “She’s…she hasn’t been gone that long. Just – maybe a few minutes. We can’t give up on her. She wouldn’t give up on us.”

She was determined now. Because if the EMTs were _right here_ she couldn’t give up on her. Spencer looked up at Toby with a helpless expression on her face. He leaned down. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a sigh. He knew that he couldn’t reach her. None of them could. The only person who had ever known how to reach her was gone.

Spencer collapsed to the ground in front of them, completely overwhelmed. She peered at her boyfriend again, her eyes telling him the story of the day she thought she’d found him dead in the woods, and how unbearable it had been for her. Now Ali was dealing with that same pain, full force, and Spencer didn’t know how to take Ali’s pain away. Toby sat down next to Spencer and pulled her in for a hug, cradling her head in his chest as she cried. Aria fell in to Hanna in tears, Hanna reaching out to wrap her arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders as both of them wept, feeling helpless as Ali begged Emily to live. They watched in misery and anguish as Ali fruitlessly tried to save Emily.

The paramedics got there four minutes later. Ali put her hands on Emily’s face and kissed her forehead, then her cheek. She peppered her face with kisses, tasting a mixture of tears and blood.

“They’re going to take care of you, Emily. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

One paramedic pulled her aside and the other leaned over Emily. The EMT looking at Ali ran a gloved hand over her head.

“You’ve got a pretty nasty cut here.” The paramedic frowned as he observed the gash in her head from one of Elliott’s hits. “Did you lose consciousness when you hit your head?”

Ali was too dazed to answer. Instead, she just watched as the second paramedic examined Emily. He looked up at his partner after a few seconds and they shared a somber look. He moved away from Emily and went to check Toby’s injuries, but he waved him off. The paramedic stood up and walked over to check Elliott’s pulse, then Sara’s. Ali wanted to scream. They didn’t deserve help. The second paramedic walked over to his partner to help him with Ali. Panic surged through her veins as they completely disregarded Emily.

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you helping her?” Ali batted their hands away angrily.

“Ali, you need to let them look at you,” Aria said softly, her hand on Ali’s arm.

When had Aria walked over next to her? Ali blinked, taking in the tears staining her friend’s face. She blinked again and then looked back at Emily.

“No! They need to help her!” Ali cried.

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do for her.” The second paramedic sighed sadly.

“No. No!” Ali struggled against the paramedic holding her. “Do something!” She screamed. “She’s stubborn. You – you have to make her…she…she’ll fight back. She’ll come back. She always comes back to me…”

She fought her way out of the paramedic’s grasp and stumbled to the ground, her knees hitting the floor so hard it sent a shockwave through her body. She leaned over Emily, putting her hands on her face. She knew she was gone. She could see that. But she couldn’t quite believe it.

Emily was never going to kiss her or tell her she loved her again. Ali was never going to see her smile or laugh again. She was never going to see Emily’s vibrant eyes looking at her with love and adoration again. Emily didn’t get Sunday dinners with her mother or days walking at the park and smiling at the kids on the playground. Emily didn’t get to walk down the aisle, or have the kids they’d talked about – they’d even talked about names. They had narrowed it down to Grace and Lily for a girl and Oliver and Dylan for a boy. But Emily would never get to meet their children. Emily wouldn’t get to teach their daughter how to ride a bike or teach their son how to drive a car. Emily wouldn’t get to watch them grow up, have kids of their own, be a grandmother…and she would have been a kickass grandmother. They didn’t get to have lazy afternoons in a hammock or nights under the stars. Emily didn’t get the life she deserved. It had been stolen from her.

Emily was gone. Forever was gone.

The full force of the loss hit her like a tidal wave. The impact of her emotions knocked the wind out of her. She felt herself being dragged below the surface with the undertow. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. The sea of heartache was tossing her around, throwing her into wave after wave of grief. She was drowning, and she didn’t know when she’d be able to surface for air again…or if she even wanted to. She sucked in a cross between a breath and a gasp and then leaned over Emily.

“Emily, you can’t be gone.” Ali pushed her palms against Emily’s chest and shook her like she was simply trying to rouse her in the morning, jostling her gently. “I can’t…I can’t live without you. I don’t know how.” She sounded like a lost child, and it broke her friends’ hearts.

“We have to do something,” a distressed voice said from the corner. It sounded like Hanna.

“There’s nothing we _can_ do.” Spencer this time.

“Alison…”

But Ali was too far gone to hear Aria’s words to her.

Ali pressed her lips against Emily’s, trying with the sheer force of willpower to get her to respond. Feeling Emily’s lips completely motionless against hers was the worst feeling in the world. She laid her head against Emily’s chest, the stillness there making Ali’s heart ache even more. That heartbeat that she loved, that she yearned for – it was gone. She curled her fingers into Emily’s gown, clutching it tightly. In a matter of seconds her tears had drenched the thin material. Her fingers were clenched so tight that her injured knuckles started to ooze blood.

“She has multiple contusions on her head. She probably has a concussion. We really should get her to the hospital to make sure there’s not any swelling in her brain.” The EMT who had examined Ali suggested.

“She’s not going to leave her.” Toby sighed, feeling a tightness in his throat as he watched Ali sobbing into Emily’s chest.

“The police are going to need to sweep for evidence…”

“I’ll handle the police.” Toby interrupted the EMT. “She’s not leaving her.” He repeated.

Just as the paramedics had expected, when the cops arrived the first thing they tried to do was to get everyone to clear the scene and get their statements. But when they tried to take Ali away from Emily she jerked away from them, a look of rabidity in her eyes. She scooted away from them, pulling Emily with her. With her back against the wall, she pulled Emily into her arms and held her, refusing to let go.

Toby did his best to mediate. He was the first person to give his statement. He explained the situation and tried to stall the investigation for as long as he could while the girls tried to talk Ali down from her hysteria.

“Alison, we have to let them do their jobs.” Spencer reached out to touch Ali’s shoulder, but Ali flinched away and glared at her. “They have to take her, examine her bod…”

“No! Get away from us!” Ali growled, gripping Emily tighter. She wasn’t ready to let her go, because she knew this was the last time she’d ever hold her, the last time she would ever feel Emily’s skin on hers. “I’m not leaving her. I promised her I wouldn’t leave her.”

“You didn’t,” Hanna said softly. “She knows you were here. She knows…” Her voice was a strangled cry riddled with pain and heartbreak. “I know how much you’re hurting…” Hanna could barely talk. Her throat sounded like it was closing up.

“There is nothing else we can do for her,” Spencer said, the calmness in her voice betrayed by the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Emily is gone, Ali. _She’s gone._ ” She repeated, slowly and softly.

She put her hand against Ali’s arm. This time, Ali didn’t flinch. But she didn’t let go of Emily either. Spencer sighed. She glanced back at Toby and shook her head. They had put it off for as long as they could, but the police finally had to forcibly pull Ali away from Emily. They’d had to pry her arms open in a maneuver similar to how the jaws of life pushed open twisted metal to free people from wreckage. She’d fought them, shouting “no!” the whole time. She fought against them as they dragged her off of the floor. Once she got to her feet she nearly collapsed, but her friends held her up. Aria was on one side and Hanna was on the other. It was only when they were passing Elliott’s body that Ali suddenly got her bearings. She ripped out of their hold and reared her foot back and kicked the holy hell out of him.

“You bastard!” She thrust her foot into his stomach, then his ribs, sending his body flopping across the floor. “You fucking bastard! This is all your fault!” Because of him, Emily had died – slowly, agonizingly aware, and in pain. She slammed her foot into his face. “You killed her!”

Aria and Hanna grabbed Ali and dragged her away before the cops could do it. They helped the paramedics get her out of the building while Toby and Spencer stayed to talk to the police. By the time they got outside Ali was hyperventilating. The paramedics walked her over to the ambulance to get her hooked up to some oxygen. She sat at the edge of the rig in the back as they held the mask over her face. She closed her eyes to breathe in the air, and when she did all she could see in her mind was Emily’s body. Her eyes jerked open and she took in a heaving breath. After a few minutes she pushed the oxygen mask away and stumbled to her feet. She hobbled forward and then hunched over and threw up. She retched several times. She felt a hand on her back and when she turned around she saw Aria.

“I promised her I’d get her home.” Ali fell into Aria, her body shaking as she wept.

Aria embraced Ali, grabbing the back of her head and pulling her in to her body as she hugged her. Hanna rubbed her back soothingly. Ali started to slink down. Her vision was starting to blur.

“Ali?” Aria pulled back and saw that her eyelids were heavy.

“Something’s not…I don’t feel…I…I think I’m going to pass out.” Ali blinked rapidly, her head heavy on her shoulders.

“We _really_ need to get her to the hospital.” The paramedic urged. “Head injuries aren’t something to mess around with.”

Aria nodded in response.

“Do you want us to ride with you?” Aria offered.

Ali’s head bobbed up and down weakly. Aria looked over Ali’s shoulder at Hanna. The two of them led her back to the ambulance. Once they got her there, the paramedics got her loaded into the back. Hanna followed her, but before Aria could get inside one of the paramedics stopped her.

“We’ve only got room in the rig for one.”

Aria wanted to smart back that she was the size of a teacup Chihuahua and that she’d be able to squeeze in without them noticing, but she kept her focus on Ali instead.

“I’ll grab Spencer and Toby and we’ll meet you guys there, okay?” Aria asked.

Ali’s eyes started fluttering. She looked at Aria.

“Tell…tell Emily…she has to know…tell her…I…I love her.”

“She knows, Ali,” Hanna said sadly. She shared a look of heartbreak with Aria before the paramedics shut the doors.

Ali’s dizziness worsened in the ambulance and she lost consciousness. Hanna took her hand. Ali muttered Emily’s name several times and even opened her eyes once and reached beyond Hanna, towards someone that no one but Ali could see. Ali knew she had to be cracking up, or maybe she was dreaming. Because sitting right next to Hanna in the ambulance she could see Emily. Emily leaned over and stroked her cheek with her palm. Ali could actually feel her warmth.

“Em…” Ali mumbled as she closed her eyes.

“I’m here, Ali,” she heard her voice.

“I knew you’d come back,” Ali uttered.

“What’s she talking about?” Hanna asked the paramedic in a panic. “What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”

“Hallucinations are common with head injuries.” He pulled Ali’s eyelids open and shined a penlight in her eyes to check the reaction time of her pupils. “Alison, can you hear me?”

Ali saw the blinding bright light and suddenly, Emily was gone.

“Emily, no, don’t go.” Ali whined.

Hanna couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She squeezed Ali’s hand and told her she was there for her, but Ali didn’t hear her. When they got her to the hospital they wheeled Ali away and directed Hanna to the waiting room. Caleb and Ezra were already there. She’d texted Caleb from the ambulance telling him that Ali was hurt and that they were on their way to the hospital. Hanna told them what had happened and then starting crying. Caleb immediately embraced her.

Aria, Spencer, and Toby joined them twenty minutes later. Toby finally allowed a doctor to take a look at his injuries. They cleaned and stitched up the laceration on his head and gave him pain meds for his broken nose. They wanted to monitor him because of his concussion, but he told them he’d rather wait with his friends in the waiting area, so they gave him an icepack to apply to his swollen face and then let him join the others.

They waited for about an hour for an update on Ali, getting more nervous by the minute. Hanna had painted a scary picture of what the ambulance ride had been like. Ali had been completely delirious and she wasn’t responding to the paramedics’ commands.

“What if we lose her, too?” Hanna’s bottom lip trembled as she tried not to cry.

“It’s going to be okay, Han,” Aria said quietly.

“How? How is anything ever going to be okay again?” Spencer uttered in frustration.

No one knew how to answer her, so everyone stayed silent. After a few minutes Hanna started shuffling her feet against the ground.

“Why haven’t we heard anything?” Hanna bit into her cheek. “Shouldn’t we have heard something by now?”

“Imaging can take time,” Toby said.

“Yours didn’t.” Spencer pointed out.

Toby paused, frowning as he thought about what he was about to tell them, because he knew they’d all lecture him.

“I declined having a head CT done…”

Surprisingly, it was Caleb who turned into the overbearing nurse.

“Dude, you were unconscious for _how long_? You should probably let them X-Ray your head.”

“I had a cognitive neuro exam done at the scene. I’m fine.” Toby waved him off. He saw a familiar face scanning the waiting room. “Joyce!” He leaped to his feet and paced over to her.

She didn’t seem surprised by their presence. In fact, she’d been looking for them.

“I saw Alison’s name on the admittance board,” Joyce said. “I had a feeling you’d be here. I’m sorry. I would have tried to find you all sooner, but the cops have been swarming us about Emily’s medical records.” Her face was riddled with confusion. “Is what they’re saying true? Did someone take her?”

“Yeah.” Toby nodded. “Someone falsified a bunch of documents and snuck her out…” He bit down, tightening his jaw, “…alive.”

“What?” Joyce raised her voice. Several emotions washed across her face. Suddenly, she was flashing back to the woman that she’d found in the recovery area that told her Emily had died. “That nurse,” she growled under her breath. She hadn’t liked her for a reason.

“Have you seen Ali? Is she okay?” Spencer questioned.

Joyce’s face tightened. She sighed. She saw all of their eyes widen at the same time and she quickly tried to calm them down.

“Initially they thought it was a concussion, but her scans were fine,” Joyce said. “The problem is, she’s exhibiting some really troubling behavior. She’s seeing things – hallucinating. And since there’s no medical reason for it the doctor is worried that she’s suffered a psychotic break…”

“She…uh…she was with Emily when…” Toby swallowed a lump in his throat and he couldn’t fight back the gruff groan he’d been trying to stop. “Emily died in her arms.”

Another wave of emotions swept across her face. She obviously hadn’t heard that part of the story.

“Oh, those poor girls.” Joyce’s voice came out slightly higher pitched than her normal tone. Her face fell in sympathy. “No wonder she’s in such a state.”

“Can we please see her? I think us being there might help,” Spencer suggested.

“The doctors won’t allow visitors at this point.” Joyce shook her head.

“Okay, so we won’t all go. But one of us should be with her. She shouldn’t be alone right now.” Spencer pushed.

“They took her to psych for a temporary hold. They won’t let anyone besides staff in.”

“But they can’t do that to her!” Hanna groaned. “She _just_ lost Emily. _We_ just lost Emily. She has to know that we’re here for her.” Her voice was panicked. “She’ll spiral…”

“Hanna, she’s already spiraling,” Spencer said.

“Well, _I’m_ not leaving.” Hanna uttered defiantly. “Not until we know she’s going to be okay.”

But that was an oxymoron, because Ali was never going to be okay again. None of them were.

“Tell you what.” Joyce glanced at her watch. “My shift is up in about an hour, but I can talk to my supervisor about pulling a double.” She paused and then shrugged. “And if she says no then I’ll just stick around anyway.” A basic ‘screw you, I’m gonna do what I want’ tactic. Spencer liked her. “I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.”

“Can you get us in to see her?” Aria asked hopefully.

Joyce rolled her tongue between her teeth and her lips. Her brow furrowed in thought. She knew it would be her ass if she got caught. And the stakes were higher because of the heightened security. But she didn’t care. These girls had been through enough.

“Probably not all of you. So decide which one of you looks the best in scrubs and knows the most about medicine in case we run into one of the docs.”

“Spencer.” Aria, Hanna, and Toby all spoke up at the same time.

“I’ll see if I can round up a pair of scrubs. I’ll come get you when the coast is clear.” She walked off.

“Remind me to bake that woman a cake,” Spencer said.

Toby grit his teeth and clenched his jaw at the mention of baking, Pam Fields’ area of expertise. She didn’t know anything about this. Sara and Elliott’s plan had been so elaborate that the paperwork that had been falsified before they kidnapped Emily from the hospital duped the doctors into believing that Pam had been contacted. But she hadn’t. He knew that the police would probably be showing up at her door at any moment. And he didn’t want her to be alone when she got the news.

“Spence, I need your keys. Pam shouldn’t be by herself when she hears about this.”

“Your head has been used as a piñata multiple times these past 24 hours. You’re not driving.” Spencer argued. “Besides, we need an in with the cops here.”

“But…”

“She’s right.” Ezra agreed. “I can go.”

“I’ll go with you,” Aria said.

“Actually, I’d kind of like to go, too.” Hanna added softly.

Now that she knew that Spencer was going to be able to see Ali she felt a little more at ease leaving. Plus, she knew that Emily’s mother was going to need all the support she could get. She knew Emily would want her there for her mother.

Before Caleb could volunteer to go, too, Hanna turned to him,

“You should probably stick around here. Help Toby run interference with security.”

“Anything you need.” Caleb kissed her forehead.

After Aria, Ezra, and Hanna left to go to the Fields’ house Spencer, Toby, and Caleb sat down and waited on their secret agent. All of them were wondering how Ali was holding up, hating that she was alone. Hating everything about the day, really. Hating that just 24 hours ago Emily had been alive and now she wasn’t. Hating that they’d been detained at the police station earlier, making it so easy for Elliott and Sara to come after Emily. Hating that she’d survived so much only to succumb to her injuries in such a devastating and heart-wrenching way. Hating that Ali would never be the same again. None of them would ever be the same again.

Down in the psych ward, Ali was squirming in her bed, semi-conscious because of the drugs in her system. She was dreaming about Emily. They were swirling around in a mess of destruction, like they were inside of a tornado. Emily was being pulled away into some dark black vortex. Her hands were slipping away from Ali’s.

“Don’t let go!” Ali yelled above the howling wind. “I’ve got you! Don’t let…”

But Emily was disappearing before her very eyes. Ali opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

Ali woke up in a cold sweat. For a few minutes she couldn’t remember where she was or what she was doing there. But then it came back to her, wave after wave of what had happened out at the slaughterhouse. Emily had died. She had died trying to protect her, because that’s what Emily did.

Ali curled up on her side, trembling as she cried, her ribs aching as she sobbed. Her throat felt raw and sore. Her body was throbbing and her head was pounding. But nothing, _nothing_ , compared to the pain in her heart. She pushed herself into the fetal position, making herself as small as possible, tangling herself in her IV line and the wires monitoring her vitals.

Seconds later the door opened and Joyce walked into the room. Ali peered up at her, her face contorting as she cried.

“Oh, sweetie,” Joyce sighed as she walked over to her. She put her hand on Ali’s face. “I am so sorry.”

Ali could see the tears in Joyce’s eyes and that just made her cry harder. Joyce didn’t say much else. She knew that nothing she said was going to take Ali’s pain away. So she just did her best to comfort her and waited for the shifts to change so she could get Spencer in to see Ali.

After a little while, Ali had cried herself out. She rolled over, accidentally jostling a bruised rib. She let out a very quiet whine. Joyce hadn’t missed it.

“You have to let me know if you’re in pain, dear,” Joyce said.

Ali just looked at her, saying nothing. The nurse’s eyes were so kind. So soft. They were just like Emily’s. Ali blinked away her tears.

“My ribs hurt a little,” she admitted meekly. _And my heart is fucking shattered into a million pieces._

“I’ll see if I can get you something for the pain.” She moved towards the door.

“Wait.” Ali reached out and grabbed her arm, surprising herself that she was being so forward with someone she really only knew in passing. “Please don’t leave me here alone.”

“I’ll be right back. I promise.” Joyce assured her.

Ali nodded and watched as Joyce slowly walked away. She stared at the door, waiting for her to come back. She tried not to let her thoughts overpower her emotions again. She kept her eyes focused on the doorway.

Joyce came back with more than just pain meds. When Ali saw Spencer walk through the door decked out in scrubs she thought she was seeing things again.

“Alison, honey, I’m going to hold off on the pain meds for now. Because they’re going to make you groggy and I thought you might like to talk to your friend first,” Joyce explained.

Ali nodded in agreement.

“I’ll give you girls a few minutes. We need to make this quick. The doctor will be coming around for evening rounds in about fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you.” Spencer smiled in appreciation. “Hey.” She walked over to the bed.

She hesitated before reaching her hand out to Ali, remembering how touchy she’d been earlier, worried she might upset her again. It was Ali who reached out first, clamping down on Spencer’s hand and pulling it towards her.

“I’m sorry,” Ali said quietly.

“God. For _what_?” Spencer questioned in surprise.

“For snapping at you back when the police showed up. I just…I couldn’t…she…” Ali got choked up. “Emily was all I had.”

“We’re all here for you, Ali.” Spencer assured her, squeezing her hand. “You’re not alone, okay?”

But Ali knew that wasn’t the truth. Because the girls would go about their lives eventually. They wouldn’t put their lives on hold for her, nor should they. Hanna would go back to New York. Aria and Ezra had plans to go on a book tour once their novel was complete. And Spencer would be back at the Capitol soon. She was stuck in a world that was moving perpetually forward without her. Without Emily.

“Emily…she…” Ali whined, “…she was so hurt…” God, she was in so much pain. It was burned into Ali’s memory – Emily shaking, trembling, trying to be brave for Ali while her body was failing her.

“She’s not in pain anymore.” Spencer stroked her hand.

“They took her away from me, Spence.” Her voice was hoarse from all of the screaming and crying.

“They had to examine her…”

“No. Not the police. Elliott and Sara.” She felt heat rising to her face. “They took her, _tortured_ her…”

“You don’t have to relive this.” Spencer tried to stop her from going in to detail. Equal parts not wanting Ali to cause herself more emotional turmoil and not wanting to know everything.

“She knew what was happening.” Ali looked up at her, agony in her eyes.

“What?” Spencer asked in horror.

“She was awake. And she knew. She knew she was dying.” Ali choked back a throaty cry. “I could see it. She was in _so_ much pain. She was drowning and I couldn’t…I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t…”

“But you were there. You were there for her, Ali.” Spencer reminded her. “She knows you were there. She didn’t die alone. You were there for her.”

“I tried to save her.” Ali cried softly. “I tried…she couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t get her to breathe.”

Spencer could feel tears burning her eyes.

“You did _everything_ you could.” And more. Ali had kept trying long after everyone else had already given up.

“It wasn’t enough.” Ali turned away, her eyes fixed on a stain on the wall. She wondered quietly to herself if it was someone’s blood.

“No, you can’t think like that.” Spencer shook her head, half in anger and half in anguish.

“You didn’t see her, Spencer. She looked at me.” That look in her eyes. That haunting look. The resignation on her face. The mixture of fear and resolve. The look of acceptance without really wanting to accept it. Her eyes told Ali everything. They always had. “She looked at me and I could see everything. She knew I would keep fighting for her. She knew I wouldn’t give up. She was counting on me, and I just…I failed her.”

“There is nothing _anyone_ could have done.” Not after everything Emily had gone through. Even if they’d gotten her to the hospital in time, she more than likely would have succumbed to her injuries.

“But we don’t know that for sure. She never got that chance to fight.”

And Ali knew Emily would have fought. She was always one to overcome the odds. She would have fought like hell. She had certainly tried to hold on for Ali. She had fought for Ali up until the very end. She had punched the grim reaper in the face and called him a bitch, refusing to give in, starving him off for as long as she could.

“She saved me, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t even do the same for her.”

“Ali…”

“Why is this happening?” Ali asked, her face rigid, yet soft. “Why didn’t she get a chance to live?” Ali turned to face Spencer again. “I just don’t understand,” she said under her breath. “I don’t understand how she could be here one minute and…just…and now she’s not anymore. And it’s my fault.”

“Hey, no, don’t say that. You didn’t cause this. Elliott did this.”

“Because of me.”

“Alison, don’t do this to yourself. This isn’t on you.” Spencer tried to reach her, but it was to no avail.

Ali didn’t hear her. She didn’t believe her. Elliott never would have attacked Emily if he hadn’t been after Ali. All Ali could think about was the ‘what-ifs’. What if she’d never met that bastard? What if she’d stayed away from Charlotte like her father had wanted her to? What if she hadn’t pushed her friends to come back to Rosewood?

Then all she could think about was what Emily had told her about how it was fate that she was in Rosewood when her heart stopped, about how she would have died in California otherwise. But now Ali knew that Elliott was the one who caused her cardiac arrest by messing with her medications. She might have been fine in California. Her treatments might have actually worked. She might actually still be alive and healthy. But she wasn’t. She was never going to leave Rosewood again.

She’d had so many close calls. Was she just destined to die no matter what? Why would the world do that to her? Why would the world take away one of the few good things left in it? One of the very things that made it better?

Ali saw that Spencer’s mouth was still moving, but she wasn’t listening to her. She sighed and looked up at her, interrupting whatever it was that she was saying.

“I don’t want to be here.” Ali huffed quietly. “I just want to go home. Can I please go home?” She knew that Emily’s scent would be lingering there. She could hold on to the last traces of her girlfriend there.

“I called Jason,” Spencer said, moving Ali’s hair behind her ear. “He’s catching the first flight he can to come get you out.”

Ali nodded mindlessly.

Joyce popped her head back in.

“The doctor is a little early. He’ll be here any second.” She walked over to Ali’s bedside and looked at Spencer. “Just follow my lead.”

Moments later the doctor walked in. Joyce made mindless medical conversation with Spencer, not expecting her to say much. Spencer surprised her when she followed the discussion and actually added more to it. Spencer completely BS-ed her way through the interaction. Joyce smiled in pride. Joyce made up some excuse about how a fake patient needed something and Spencer mouthed a silent “thanks” before she left the room to take care of said fake patient.

Ali watched her go, wishing she could go with her. But a part of her was content to be confined to a hospital bed. A part of her didn’t want to move, to talk, to live. After she got her medications that night she fell back into the depths of her mind. She tossed and turned, nightmares plaguing her. She could hear Joyce speaking to her occasionally, but she couldn’t see her. Everything in her head was so loud. She just wanted it to stop. She cried out for Emily several times.

When she finally opened her eyes the next morning she felt numb. She was hot and sweaty and she couldn’t move her body. She stared at the ceiling, paralyzed and uncaring.

Then she heard a voice that jolted her out of her shock.

“Hey, baby.”

Her eyes darted towards Emily’s voice, thinking she was hearing things. She saw her walking towards her.

“Em – Emily?” She blinked in surprise.

“You’re looking a little worse for the wear.” Emily smiled sadly at her.

Ali almost smarted back, “well, _you’re_ dead” but stopped herself when she remembered it was the painful truth. She stared at the girl beside her. She wanted to reach up and touch Emily, but her body wouldn’t respond.

“I…I can’t move. I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Emily assured her. “You’re in the hospital.”

Ali groaned. Her brain felt like it was on fire. Her thoughts felt jumbled up. All she could think about was her promise to take Emily to see the world.

_“Yes, I’ll marry you.”_

“What about Paris? We’re gonna miss our flight.”

“We’ll take the next one.” Emily’s fingers grazed Ali’s cheeks.

God, she felt so real. Ali closed her eyes and shuddered.

“How…how are you here?” She peered at Emily again.

“You called me. You sounded upset. So I came.”

“This is a scary place.” Ali nodded, feeling sweat dripping down her face. Or maybe it was tears. She couldn’t tell. “Here. Without you.”

“Hey, I’m right here with you, Alison.” Her hand felt like an unanswered prayer on Ali’s face. “I will _always_ be with you.”

“But you’re gone.” She cried. “Why did you leave me?” Her voice trembled. “Was – was I not enough for you to stay?”

Emily took Ali’s hands in hers.

“Darling, you’re the only reason my heart never left Rosewood.”

“Well now I know this is a dream. _Darling_?” Ali snorted.

“There’s my girl.” Emily smiled, her hand rubbing Ali’s cheek. “You got this, Ali.”

Ali’s body started to feel heavy. Her eyelids drooped closed, but she kept her mind focused on Emily’s face, knowing that the next time she opened her eyes Emily wouldn’t be there. But she could feel her, and that’s the only thing that kept her from completely falling into the darkness.

She was basically the living dead when her brother showed up to get her later that day. She hadn’t said much. The doctors had expressed their concern about Ali’s mental state, but Jason insisted that she would be taken care of. And she was. Spencer, Hanna, and Aria were all there for her, just like Spencer had promised. The second she was released from the hospital they were by her side. Ali had tried to push them away, as she always did when she was grieving. But they refused to go anywhere.

She had asked to go to Emily’s house. She wanted to be with Pam.

“Emily wouldn’t want her mom to be alone,” Ali said quietly.

“She hasn’t been alone since she found out.” Aria assured her. “Ezra, Hanna, and I were with her all night.”

Ali could see Aria getting choked up, and she could hear the turmoil in her voice. Pam had lost her only child. She had to be a complete wreck. That cut into Ali’s soul. At first, the sorrow was overwhelming. Then she got angry. She was angry at the world for taking away Pam’s entire family. She didn’t deserve that kind of pain. No one did.

“My mom and Hanna’s mom are with her now,” Aria continued, taking a moment to clear her throat.

“I want to see her.” She wanted to hug her, hold her, cry with her. Because Pam knew what Ali was going through and Ali knew what she was going through. They needed each other.

Hanna called her mother to ask about coming over. Ashley wasn’t certain that Pam would want any more visitors. She was a very reserved woman when it came to her feelings. But just as Ashley was getting ready to tell her daughter that she didn’t think it was a good idea to crowd her, Pam interrupted her and told her to let them come. She knew they were hurting as much as she was. She also knew that Emily would have disowned her had she not made sure her friends were okay.

When they got to the Fields’ house, Ali walked in to find Ella and Ashley sitting next to Pam on the sofa. The same sofa that Ali and Emily had once shared an innocent kiss on when they were watching a stupid horror movie that Emily loved, but Ali hated. She’d watched it though, because she liked seeing Emily happy.

Pam was holding a cup of tea, her hands trembling so much that the liquid was splashing over the side. Her face was stained with tears. Ella had her hand on Pam’s knee. Ashley was sliding her hand up and down Pam’s back. When they heard the door softly close, all three women turned to face them. Not wanting to crowd them, Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Jason huddled around the front door, slowly sectioning off towards the kitchen. Ali took a few steps towards the living room, where Pam was already on her feet. Seconds later, the two were engulfed in an embrace that they both needed.

Ella and Ashley shared a look, both of them getting up off of the couch at the same time, knowing that Pam and Ali needed a few minutes to themselves. They went to meet their daughters in the kitchen so they could hug them, and appreciate that they got to hug them.

Ali cried into Pam’s shoulder while Pam ran her fingers through Ali’s hair. Her touch was staggeringly similar to Emily’s and it made her heart ache. She felt awful for falling apart like this in front of Pam. She had wanted to be strong for her. But when she saw her something inside of her felt broken beyond repair. She clung to the older woman tightly as she cried, feeling Pam’s shaky uneven exhalations against her neck. They stayed in their embrace for longer than either of them realized.

When Ali finally pulled away to look at Pam she could see so much turmoil behind her watery eyes. Yet despite her agony, here Pam stood, comforting _her_.

 _So that’s where Emily got it from._ She thought to herself.

Pam looked into Ali’s eyes and she saw the loss of her daughter in them. She could see Ali’s heartbreak. She felt her breath catch in her throat when she remembered what she’d overheard the girls tell the police last night. Ali had been there with Emily when she died. That was an irrational and unreasonable comfort to her, knowing that Emily had Ali with her, knowing that she wasn’t alone. But Pam also felt an unfathomable amount of devastation for Ali, because no one should have to watch the love of their life die.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Pam gasped.

Pam knew how it felt to have her heart shattered into a million pieces, knowing that the one person who could put it back together was gone forever. She felt that loss every day. And Emily’s death was ripping that wound open and widening the depth of her grief to unimaginable proportions. But she couldn’t find it in herself to fall apart in front of the child in front of her. Her daughter had loved Alison with all of her heart, and now it was up to her to make sure that she was taken care of – for Emily. She cupped Ali’s face with her palms and wiped away her tears with her thumbs.

“This is all my fault.” Ali sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Emily had died protecting her, and she would never be able to get over that.

“Honey, it’s not your fault.” Pam’s grip on Ali’s face tightened, and suddenly Ali was flashing back to how tightly she’d held on to Emily’s face when she was trying to get her to wake up.

She choked out a gasp.

“It is. She was trying to protect me. She…”

“Alison, stop.” Pam interrupted her, a very motherly tone in her voice. “Emily wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. I know my child, and I know there is absolutely nothing she wouldn’t do for the people she loves.” Pam’s voice quivered when she realized she was still talking about Emily in the present tense. “She was very protective. She got that from her father.” Her voice cracked. “So all this talk about blaming yourself, you stop that right now. Do you understand me?”

Ali nodded and got her weeping under control.

“I made Emily promise me that she would never go through any of her pain alone. I told her that we’d go through it together.” Pam’s voice was shaking, but steady. “That extends to you, too. I am not going to let you go through this alone. We’ll go through it together.”

Ali sniffled, blinking away her tears.

“I loved her so much,” she said, almost a whisper.

“I know.” Pam nodded, tears falling down her face. “Me, too.”

She stayed with Pam all day, both of them leaning on the other for moral support. By the time she got home she was exhausted, in all senses of the word. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

The first night in the bed without her had been the hardest. It was so quiet. She missed the sound of her soft breathing. She could still smell her scent lingering in the air. Each time she drifted off she would fall asleep just deep enough that she’d forget the real world for a little while. She would wake up expecting Emily to be there, then feel her heart sink when she realized that the events at the barn hadn’t been a nightmare.

But as hard as that first night in bed without her had been, it was nothing compared to the next day. Because it was the next day when she realized that she had to move on without her. And her emotions were more screwed up than ever. She felt messy and confused and angry. It was a pain she knew she was never going to get over, but a pain she knew would eventually become a part of her life.

When she walked into her living room she found it full of her loved ones. Her friends, their partners, her brother. But there was a huge gaping hole that no amount of love they could give her would ever fill. The one person who mattered the most wasn’t there.

She stayed quiet while everyone around her talked to her, at her – just talked. She heard some of what they were saying, but she didn’t say anything back until Spencer mentioned the funeral.

“She didn’t want to be buried,” Ali said softly.

“What?” Spencer questioned in confusion.

Ali looked at Toby, knowing that they were the only two people who knew about what Emily had said in her video to them, a video she would never get to see because Toby’s phone had never been found and the files had been erased from his online storage drive. One final middle finger from Elliott. Or Sara. Or both. Toby hadn’t told the other girls what Emily had said in her video. He had tried to be emotionally stable, but he’d had a few breakdowns in private.

“Emily said she…” Ali glanced at her friends, suddenly losing her train of thought, her words failing her.

“Ali, what is it?” Hanna asked, reaching her hand out to Ali’s arm.

“Nothing.” Ali murmured, pissed off that they were discussing this. “It’s nothing.”

It’s not like telling them would change the funeral plans. It’s not like she was going to tell Pam Fields how to arrange the aftercare for her dead daughter. Besides, it didn’t matter. Because Emily was gone. She wouldn’t care how her body was handled. So Ali let it go.

All of the girls did their fair share of crying, though they mostly tried to hold it together in front of Ali. But she saw more than they realized. She watched Hanna fall apart in her kitchen when she accidentally dropped and broke a mug that had belonged to Emily. Her legs had given way and she’d had to grab the counter for support as she tried to catch her breath. She’d slumped down to the floor and buried her face in her hands as she took heavy breaths and tried not to cry. Caleb had found her two minutes later. He’d picked her up off of the floor and held her as she gave in to her emotions.

She’d seen Spencer have a panic attack, though Spencer had tried to be discreet about it. Her anxiety had been building and it hit an all-time high when they were going through keepsakes that reminded them of Emily to display at the funeral. Her anxiety had escalated into a full blown panic attack when she found a photo of her and Emily in a picture frame that Emily had made. She’d locked herself in Ali’s bathroom. Toby took the door off the hinges to get in and check on her and found her sitting in the floor and shivering.

Aria had perhaps been the most reserved. She’d cried some, and Ali had caught her whimpering in her sleep while curled up in a ball on her couch, but for the most part Aria held it together in front of Ali. Ali thought back to what Sara had told her about how long each of them had lasted in the dollhouse. She’d said something about Aria lasting longer than Spencer and Hanna, which had surprised Elliott, Sara, and Charlotte. But it didn’t surprise Ali. Aria was the thinker...the introspective one. She was tough and guarded when she wanted to be. She had her weak moments, but the small mighty warrior that they all knew and loved was in the forefront in times like these, mainly because she knew she had to be strong for her friends. She was like a little Emily 2.0. Of course, what Ali didn’t know is that Aria was only holding it together in front of her. Every time she was alone with Ezra she’d bring her knees to her chest and wrap her arms around her legs and sob while saying,

“Tell me this isn’t happening. Tell me this isn’t real.”

They all had their own set of emotions they were dealing with, but somehow, through their grief, they’d been able to console Ali, or at least they’d tried to. She’d heard some of it.

_“We’re here for you.”_

_“We love you.”_

_“You’re not alone.”_

She’d been like a zombie the morning of the funeral. The church smelled like cedar and perfume and it was filled with people. Unlike Wayne’s funeral, Emily’s had not been limited to family only. Pam knew her daughter would balk at the idea of her friends not being able to say goodbye. Ali saw a lot of familiar faces, many of them comforting her. Joyce and her husband had come. Ali hadn’t said anything to her. She’d just hugged her and thanked her for taking care of her and Emily. Ali had seen Mona and James in the crowd. Mona had stuck close to Hanna, consoling her. Emily’s old swim coach was talking to Paige, who had flown in from California. The two of them simply exchanged a look of understanding. Despite their history, they had both loved Emily. Paige was grieving, too.

Ali saw all of her friends in their seats, clinging to their partners and it dawned on her that they all had someone, but she didn’t. She blinked, looking around at all the couples around her and her stomach suddenly felt like it was full of led. She was jealous that they all had each other. Then she was angry at herself for feeling jealous, on today of all days.

Ali had been lost in her own world, her mind miles away from the church when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned around and saw Luke in a tuxedo, his sad wide eyes looking back at her. He was by himself, which wasn’t a surprise given his home life. But she was beyond stunned to see him there. The oddest random thoughts were running through her mind, the most prominent one being where he’d gotten a tuxedo. She’d never seen him in anything formal, not even at school dances. She looked around, her face clearly showing her confusion on how he’d ended up at the church.

“How…”

“Took the bus.” Luke shrugged. “I know, I got steel balls willingly taking a bus, right?” He forced out a weak smile and mindlessly scratched the cast on his arm. “Crap. I probably shouldn’t say stuff like that in a church. I might get smote or whatever.”

 _God bless this little deviant._ Ali felt a slight smile on her face.

Luke cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, Miss. D. This just…it _really_ sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” Leave it to a 14-year-old to sum up a funeral in a perfect manner that no adult ever could.

“She was super cool and I know you loved her a lot. And I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Luke.”

Seconds later, the minister was asking everyone to take their seats and Ali went to find her place with the family. Pam had insisted she sit with her family.

Surprisingly, she hadn’t cried during the service. She had started to worry that something was wrong with her, because everyone around her was crying. Everyone but her…and oddly enough, Pam. Emily’s mom had stared ahead with a blank steely gaze the entire time.

It was only when they were lowering the casket into the ground that the mask of stoic grief Pam was wearing fell. She threw her head forward into her hands, sobbing out cries that could be heard echoing all over the cemetery, cries that Ali could feel in the depths of her soul. She screamed out a keening wail and cried out her daughter’s name, faltering on her feet. Veronica Hastings grabbed her arm before she could hit the ground. Spencer quickly scrambled to help her mother hold Pam up.

Ali watched, her heart broken, but still unable to cry. The tears that wouldn’t come felt like tiny drops of poison burning her from the inside out. It was only later that night that she felt her walls come crashing down. She’d cried for hours, to the point of exhaustion. She’d pushed herself over to Emily’s side of the bed and pulled her pillow against her body in a desperate attempt to try and feel her essence, but all she felt was cold and broken and alone.

She spent a lot of nights crying herself to sleep. She dreamed about her a lot, which was both painful and cathartic. Emily always seemed to show up in her dreams when Ali needed her the most. The dreams were vivid and realistic to the point that she was overcome by Emily in all five senses. She could feel her warm hands on her face. She could see beyond the depths of her soulful brown eyes. She could taste the sweetness of her lips. She could smell her, the aroma of a calm rainstorm tinged with a hint of lavender. And she could hear the gentle words Emily was saying to her. She always said exactly what Ali needed to hear.

But then when she woke up and Emily wasn’t beside her she felt the power of her sorrow waft over her with an intensity that she never thought she’d get used to. She spent a lot of time in her bed staring at the ceiling. She lost track of how many days she’d stayed burrowed underneath the covers, sobbing until she was dehydrated.

Time went by, though she felt like no time at all had passed. The grief would hit her in waves. And hit her at the oddest times. She’d been in the middle of the store on a grocery run with Spencer for something one day when she came across a spill of laundry detergent. It was the brand that Emily used. The odor overpowered her senses. She felt a rage inside, because Emily wasn’t around to buy it anymore. She knew it was a ridiculous thing to get angry over, but she couldn’t help herself. She’d kicked at the shelves and then started knocking everything off of them with her hands. She spun around and kicked a cement barrier and then faced the items on the shelf.

“Ali, stop it!” Spencer had sprinted down the aisle.

Ali ignored her, throwing groceries about. She turned around and slammed her fist into the cement barrier, skinning her knuckles.

“Stop. This is not going to bring her back!” Spencer had grabbed her wrists to try and steady her.

Ali had yanked her arms away from Spencer and collapsed in the middle of her mess, sobbing, not caring that other shoppers had stopped to stare at her. The last words Emily had said to her were on repeat in her head,

_“I love you, Alison.”_

She would never let those words go.

Six agonizing months went by without her. Slowly, things started to return to normal, or as normal as things would ever feel for her. She went back to school, trying to occupy her days with her kids, because she knew her nights were reserved for her overwhelming emotions. Sometimes in class she zoned out. One day she had been in the middle of a lecture about ending themes in novels when she remembered that Emily wasn’t around for her to have her happy ending anymore. It was only when she heard her resident bad seed Addison Derringer snicker to herself that she snapped out of her daze.

“Someone has been hitting the sauce,” Addison muttered with a grin.

“Excuse me? What was that?” Ali’s eyes focused in on her like a laser, her hatred for the child far outweighing any grief she cared to deal with at the moment.

“Nothing.” Addison smiled innocently.

“That’s what I thought.” Ali glared. _Bitch, you may only be fifteen, but I will destroy you._

Addison turned to the girl sitting next to her.

“Looks like the boozehound is back on guard dog duty.” Addison cackled under her breath.

“Dude, lay off.” Luke uttered out a quiet warning.

“Or what?” Addison challenged. “Someone needs to remind Miss. Margaritaville that this is a classroom and not happy hour.”

“Jesus, Addison, what is your problem?” Luke bit through his teeth, loud enough to draw Ali’s attention again.

“I don’t have a problem, hobo-boy.” Addison snapped back, unable to keep her angry voice at the low volume she’d been maintaining.

“That’s _enough_ , Addison.” Ali raised her voice. “Unless you have something constructive to add to the class discussion then just sit there quietly until the bell rings.”

“Fine.” Addison frowned, moping. After a few seconds she got a devilish look on her face. “I actually _do_ have something constructive to add.” She smirked, fiddling with her bracelet on her wrist. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? _You_ teaching us about happy endings? You’ve got like the reverse Midas Touch, what with your life playing out like a live action version of _Final Destination._ Everyone you touch basically dies.”

The girl had known it would hit Ali’s soft spot. And it did. The words were like a dagger to Ali’s chest. She felt a wave of emotions. Grief, pain, sadness, anger. Mostly anger. She had to remind herself of the implications of strangling a student, remembering that, _No, Ali_. _Murder is illegal_. She racked her brain with how to respond in a manner that wasn’t a curse-filled tirade.

“Careful, don’t get too close to her.” Addison warned the class. “She might jinx you with her death curse.”

Before Ali could snap at Addison, Luke spoke up – his anger at an all-time high.

“Seriously, shut the hell up!” He growled. “Leave her alone. She’s been through enough.”

“You mean she _caused_ enough.”

“Addison, I swear to God…” His face was rigid, his fists tight. His body was shaking in rage.

Ali wasn’t surprised at his outburst. Her little Alt-Rock skater boy had been very protective of her since Emily died. It’s like they’d had some secret pact or something that if anything ever happened to Emily, he would step up and look out for her. It was very sweet, but it had gotten him on Addison’s bad side. She ragged on him incessantly. He didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed to thrive on challenging her and taking her down a peg. He reminded Ali a lot of Caleb. Protective, but kindhearted. A smartass, but also _actually_ smart. She looked forward to seeing him find himself a Hanna, and watching him grow up, and doing great things in life. But until then it was her job to keep him out of trouble.

“Luke, settle down.” Ali frowned.

“Sorry.” Luke glanced at his teacher, his tension easing slightly.

“You know she can’t love you back, right?” Addison rolled her eyes. “She’s a dyke.”

Ali slammed her palms down on her desk, the entire class jumping at the loud noise. She glared at Addison, trying to hold her tongue, remembering that calling a child a cuntasauraus rex would be frowned upon by the disciplinary board.

“Addison, principal.” Because she couldn’t keep this girl in her class for one more second. If she did she was liable to throw a chair at her head. She scribbled a quick insubordination note on the slip for the principal’s office and then sent the little shit on her way.

The rest of the class went by without incident. When the bell rang most of the kids dashed out of the classroom, averting her gaze as they went. Ali asked Luke to come see her before he left. He took his time packing up. He zipped up his bookbag and approached her desk with a timid nature she’d never quite seen on him before. He looked like a scolded puppy.

“I’m sorry I snapped at her. I know it’s not my place. It’s just that…she’s _such_ a bitch…” He didn’t hold back, but he immediately tensed up when he realized he’d cussed in front of his teacher _, again_. “Sorry, I…I didn’t mean to make it worse. I just heard those ugly things she was saying and I thought, I dunno…I didn’t mean to lose my temper.”

“Luke, stop apologizing.” Ali stopped him. “You’re not in trouble.”

“I’m not?” He seemed genuinely surprised. “Well, that’s a first.”

Ali chuckled.

“I just wanted you to know that while it is very sweet of you to speak up for me, you don’t have to protect me.”

“I know.” Luke nodded. “But…I didn’t like the way Addison was talking to you. That was really mean, what she said. Borderline ‘psychotic’ mean. And I know that you can like, handle yourself and all that, but I just felt like speaking up was the right thing to do. I think that’s what Miss…” He paused, thinking about the conversation he’d had with Emily in the doctor’s office, “…what Emily would have wanted.”

Luke’s words both warmed and broke her heart. The impact that Emily had on the world was astounding to her. The boy had only spoken to Emily a handful of times, but Ali could see the ways in which he’d been changed by knowing her.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I probably shouldn’t talk about her. I know it makes you sad.”

“No.” She quickly cut him off. “Never be afraid to talk about the good things in life.” She tried not to cry. “Even if you don’t have them anymore.”

Luke nodded and gave her his signature dorky smile before he left the room. Ali glanced up at the clock. Normally, she stayed after school to kill time so she didn’t have to go home to an empty house. But after her conversation with Luke she realized that she had somewhere else she needed to be.

She had been avoiding the cemetery since the funeral. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to visit Emily’s grave. Because there was a finality to it, and she didn’t want to accept the ending they’d gotten. But she knew she couldn’t avoid going forever. And she certainly couldn’t avoid going today, because today wasn’t just any ordinary day. She couldn’t ignore her girl today. So she drove home and walked through her garden, picking out a variety of flowers, many the same as the ones Emily had picked out and decorated the house with once “just because”.

After she’d gathered the bouquet she walked through the streets of Rosewood, taking in the things she knew that Emily loved most in the town, basking in the memories that the two of them had here.

It was cloudy out, which was actually a pretty good reflection of her mood. Though she had to laugh darkly at the fact that it always seemed like when people went to graveyards the weather was a total bitch, like it was mocking the living for surviving.

She stopped by her family’s plot first, saying a quick hello to her mother and her sister, stalling, killing time, because even though she was ready to do this...she _wasn’t_ ready to do this. She walked towards the Fields’ plot, shuddering at the amount of death this town had produced. It’s like everyone she knew was cursed. She shook her head, trying to let that thought go. That was nothing more than Addison getting in her head. She wasn’t going to let some child get to her like that. She already blamed herself for everything that happened. She didn’t need satan’s offspring piling it on.

When she saw Emily’s name on the headstone her breath caught in her throat. She clutched the flowers in her hands tightly, willing herself not to let her grief consume her.

The air was so quiet that it unnerved her.

“I hate this place,” she muttered.

It was nothing more than a reminder of everything she’d lost in her life. She looked up at the sky, tears filling her eyes. She gathered her emotions and looked at Emily’s headstone. She stared at the flowers in her hands, zoning out for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” She swallowed her emotions. “I’m not really good at this kind of thing. You know that,” she said with a sigh. “I’ve got a bad habit of running from my problems.”

She ran her fingers up the stems of the flowers, her gaze fixed on the ground as she tried to gather her thoughts.

“I’ve spent every waking moment since that day trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you. Trying to come up with the words to tell you…to explain to you…” She grunted in frustration. “See, I’m already messing it up.” She frowned. “This is just, it’s _really_ hard. Because I never thought we’d end up here. After everything that happened I thought we were going to have another shot. I thought ‘who doesn’t deserve a second chance?’” Ali shook her head, refusing to cry. She was going to get through this without crying.

She dragged her foot across the ground next to the headstone and stared at the words below Emily’s name.

_“Nothing loved is ever lost, for your love lives in the hearts of those you’ve touched.”_

Pam had really picked the perfect quote for Emily. She felt her girl’s love every day. Emily Fields had changed her life. Her heart would never be the same.

“I miss you so much, Em,” she sighed and closed her eyes. She missed her every second of every day. “You can’t even imagine.” Or maybe she could. After all, Emily had once probably had this exact conversation with Ali at her grave. “I loved you.” Her bottom lip trembled. “God, I loved you.” She sniffled. “It was supposed to be you and me, forever. We were supposed to be a family.” She unconsciously started to hold the flowers tighter. “But then you went and you…you just…you left me here. You left me all alone.” She didn’t want to feel these things. She didn’t want to feel so mad, but she couldn’t stop it, “I’m so angry at you that I can’t stand it. I’m…I’m _pissed_ , because this isn’t fair.” She growled. “None of this was supposed to happen.” Ali clenched her jaw. “You were not supposed to die for me, Emily,” she said, her hand resting on the top of Emily’s headstone. “You were not supposed to die!”

She looked at the gravestone, and before she could get control of herself she was flinging the flowers at it, hitting it in frustration. Petals fell to the ground. Leaves fell everywhere. She dropped the bouquet, the flowers scattering all over the place. Ali stared at the mess, her outburst not making her feel any better. She closed her eyes and got control of her emotions. She opened her eyes and took a breath.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “This…this is new territory for me. You have to understand that this isn’t easy for me. I constantly think about how different things could have been. The life that we could have had. But I can’t keep living in my head like that. I’m still here. And you’re not. And it sucks, and I hate it. But I can’t change it. Nothing can change it. And I have to learn to accept that.” She took a deep calming breath. “I love you more than anything, Em. I always will. But I have to let go. All this pain and anger that I’m holding on to, I’ve got to let it go.” She bent down, her hand on the granite, her voice soft, “You understand what anger and grief does to a person. I know you know what I’m going through here.”

Her fingers traced the dates of Emily’s birth and death.

“I don’t have the strength to be angry anymore.” She looked at the flowers she’d thrown astray. “So, I just wanted to say that…” She took a deep breath, “…that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the pain that you had to deal with. I’m sorry that you suffered so much…that Elliott and Sara hurt you because of me. And I…I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. You deserved better. You deserved to live.” Her voice cracked ever so slightly. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could switch places with you. Because you deserve to be here. The world was a better place with you in it. You made it…you made _everything_ better. You made _me_ better, because when all everyone else saw was my darkness, you saw my light.” She ran her fingers across the cool granite. “You made me believe in that light.”

She was lost without Emily to bring out her light. She had made peace with the fact that she’d probably always feel a little lost. She sat there motionless for several minutes, imagining Emily’s hand on top of hers. If she closed her eyes she could practically feel Emily’s hot palm against her face. She could hear her soft voice telling her she loved her.

She heard a noise behind her.

“Alison?”

Ali turned around and saw Pam walking towards her.

“I thought that was you. I was speaking to the groundskeeper about something and I saw you out here.”

Ali pushed herself to her feet, wiping her tears away. As soon as Pam got closer she could see the dazed look on Ali’s face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” Pam said, a weak waning smile on her face, her eyes watering. She’d been crying. Ali could tell.

“No. It’s okay.” Ali shook her head. “You didn’t,” she replied softly. In fact, seeing Pam’s face was a comfort to her. Sometimes she could look at her and see Emily. “I just…” Her eyes darted to the ground to the flowers she’d essentially destroyed in her fit of rage, averting Pam’s eyes, embarrassed by her behavior.

Pam’s gaze followed Ali’s eyes and she saw the flowers strewn about. It didn’t take her long to figure out what had happened. Without a word, she leaned down to gather the arrangement. She put it back together and handed it to Ali. Ali looked away shamefully, regret written all over her face.

“Hey.” Pam put her palm on the girl’s face, cupping her cheek gently. It was a motherly touch that Ali needed so desperately at the moment, and it made Ali’s eyes wet with tears again. “It’s okay to be angry. You’re allowed to be mad at her. I get angry sometimes, too.”

Ali nodded. She looked at the flowers in her hands. They were a little battered and broken, but much like an abused heart, they were still beautiful. And even if they weren’t, Emily would have seen the beauty in them. Because she saw the beauty in everything. Ali slipped the stems into the small vase on the headstone. She stood with Pam in silence for a few minutes and then turned to face her.

“Thank you,” Ali said.

“For what, dear?”

“For her. For…for Emily. For raising her to be the kind of person who could love someone like me,” Ali replied. “And for being my family.”

In the months following Emily’s death, Pam and Ali had grown closer than the two of them ever could have imagined. Emily had a way of bringing people together. There was just something about her spirit that connected others. The two of them might not have survived the grief had it not been for their bond.

Ali bit her lip, sad that Emily wasn’t here with them, sad that she didn’t get to spend time with them as a family. She worried about Emily being alone. She knew it was an irrational worry, especially given that her faith had been tested and she wasn’t really sure what she believed the afterlife entailed…if there was one. She liked to believe that there was a beautiful place where Emily was happy, where there was no pain, no fear, no grief. Just beauty. Ali liked to envision that she’d see her again one day. She wanted to believe that when her time came, she would wake up and see Emily waiting for her, ready to guide her into her beautiful world again.

“Do you…” Ali stopped, unsure of how she wanted to phrase what she was about to say. “Do you think she’s okay?”

“I know she is,” Pam said with certainty, her voice confident, yet soft. “Wayne is taking care of her.” She reached up, gently rubbing her hand over Ali’s arm. Pam’s touch was so similar to Emily’s that Ali felt goosebumps creeping up her arm.

“And she’s being stubborn and refusing to let him dote on her.” Ali smiled.

Pam chuckled softly.

“That girl had her father wrapped around her finger from day one. When she was two she convinced him to wear a tutu so they could have matching outfits.”

“Please tell me there are pictures.” Ali’s face lit up in delight.

“Videos.” Even better. “I actually found some old home movies last week of the two of them, and a few of Emily in high school. She _hated_ the camera in high school, but I wanted to document everything for her dad while he was away.”

“I’d like to see them sometime.”

“Well, I’m heading home now. You’re welcome to come over. We can make an afternoon out of it.” Pam offered.

“I’d like that.” Ali nodded. She glanced at Emily’s headstone again. “Can I have a few minutes?”

“Of course.” Pam grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. “Take all the time you need.”

She walked off, leaving Ali there alone. Ali took a deep breath, wondering if Emily was watching her right now.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for the time we had. Thank you for never giving up on me, and for loving me.” She put her palm against Emily’s name, desperate to feel a connection to her, tears welling up in her eyes. “You saved me.” In more ways than one. In more ways than Emily would ever know. “I love you, Emily.”

She would love her forever.

“Happy birthday, sweetie.” She ran her fingers over the dates on her headstone once more.

She felt a little more at peace after she left the graveyard. She’d been waiting six months to let her emotions out. Everything had been building up inside, despite everyone around her trying to help her move forward.

She actually felt the slightest hint of joy when she watched the home movies Pam showed her. Emily was a ridiculous child. Shy, but daring at the same time. Everything about her was an enigma.

“How old was she here?” Ali smiled as she watched Emily running around the playground.

“She’d just turned seven.” Pam laughed. “She was going through a gymnastics phase. She used to hang upside down on the monkey bars. Scared me to death. She used to come home with bruises and scraped knees and when I asked her what happened she just told me everything was fine and went to get a juice box out of the fridge.”

“Guess some things never change.” Ali chuckled. “I’m surprised you didn’t wrap her in bubble wrap.”

“I threatened to do that a time or two.” Pam admitted. “Wayne used to call me ‘Quasimodo’ because I spent the entirety of her toddler years hunched behind her ready to catch her if she fell. I think I cried harder than she did when she started kindergarten. Wayne practically had to pull _me_ away from _her_.”

Ali couldn’t help but laugh picturing a tiny little Emily furrowing her brows in confusion at her overly-emotional mother and then rolling her eyes and telling her that she was overreacting.

“He liked to let her learn through experience.” Pam’s voice was suddenly distant and somber. “He told me that we couldn’t protect her from everything.”

Ali reached out and touched Pam’s hand and the older woman smiled weakly at her. They sat in silence for a few minutes watching the flashes of Emily’s life. Vacations, holidays, dinners, swim meets – all with one major thing in common. Emily was always smiling. Her smile radiated so much love. It was the warmth that Ali needed to soothe the cool stillness of her broken heart. The very end of the video cut to a sixteen-year-old Emily, clearly embarrassed that the camera was on her. She smiled shyly.

“Mom, stop.” She gently pushed her hand against the camera, a smile still on her face.

“Say hello to your dad, Emmy.” Pam laughed at her antics.

“I’ll see him when he gets home tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but that will be tomorrow. This is today.”

Emily pressed her lips together, but they were still curled upwards into a reserved grin. She obviously didn’t want the attention, but she wanted to humor her mother. She sighed and then looked directly into the camera.

“Hi, dad,” she said. “Can’t wait to see you.” She paused and then glanced over the camera, presumably looking at Pam. “I can’t wait for you to take mom off my hands. She’s been _so_ needy without you here.” She had to throw a teasing jab at her mother.

“You’re a rotten child.” Pam chuckled from behind the camera.

“But you love me anyway.”

“It’s my job.” The camera jostled up and down as Pam nodded, bumping the camera.

Emily reached out, taking the camera from her mother, the lens still facing her.

“She knows nothing about film-making.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Oh, and you do?” Pam plopped down on Emily’s bed next to her, shaking the camera in Emily’s hands.

“I know enough to know to take the cap off of the lens before I hit record.” She glanced at the camera. “Two days ago she filmed my entire swim meet with the cap still on.” She chuckled.

“Okay, Spielberg, so how does your movie end?” Pam asked sarcastically.

Emily gave the question more consideration than her mother had expected. She smiled, moving to hold the camera with one hand and blowing a kiss with the other.

“Bye.”

It was so simply Emily that Ali couldn’t help but smile.

Emily looked at her mother.

“Tell the people how much you love them, mom.”

“Eh, Directors.” Pam rolled her eyes dramatically.

Emily addressed the camera again,

“See you soon.” She smiled. “I love you.”

The video cut out and the screen faded to black. Pam and Ali both sighed. Every day without Emily was an emotional one, but they were both feeling it particularly hard today. Because instead of celebrating Emily’s twenty-fourth birthday, they were clinging to every scrap of her memory…because every day their memories of her got a little more distant.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Pam asked, glancing at the clock.

“No, I should get going,” Ali replied. “I’ve got papers to grade.”

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.” Pam offered.

“That’s really sweet of you. But I think I want to walk.”

“Are you sure? It’s supposed to start raining any minute.”

“They’re only calling for a drizzle.” Ali nodded. “It’s not that far. I’ll be okay.” She assured her. “The fresh air will be good for me. I’ve got some things I need to sort through.”

Pam nodded in understanding. They’d found a mutual respect for one another over the past six months. A mother who had lost her daughter. A daughter who had lost her mother. And both of them had lost the person they loved the most in the world. Pam knew exactly what was going on in Ali’s mind.

“Are we still on for dinner Sunday?” Pam asked.

They’d been having weekly dinners since Emily died.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Ali thanked her and then gave her a quick hug before she left. She glanced back at the house as she was walking down the driveway. She still hadn’t gotten used to walking out the front door without Emily by her side.

It started drizzling when Ali was about half way to her house. She followed a small stream with her eyes, watching as each droplet of rain made a great impact against the flowing water. It was a lot like how the world worked. One tiny instance could create a ripple effect that changed everything. She closed her eyes and felt the rain hitting her face, each drop a soft cooling mist against her hot skin. She didn’t mind it. In fact, it felt refreshing, like she had been thirsting for it to replenish her. Emily had loved the water. She’d called it the essence of life. Somehow, being in the rain made Ali feel closer to her.

When she got home she stripped out of her wet clothes and took a warm shower. She had a quick bite to eat and then started grading her papers until the words started running together and she couldn’t see straight anymore. She finally put away her work and decided that she needed to get some sleep. She glanced at her phone for the first time all day, realizing that she had several missed calls and a plethora of voicemails, all from her friends.

Hanna, Aria, and Spencer had all been religious about calling to check up on her. Spencer came by to visit fairly often because she’d moved from D.C. to Harrisburg to take a job her mother had offered her after she won the State Senate campaign. But she hadn’t seen her in a few weeks. Hanna flew Ali out to New York for a week of fashion and shopping a few months ago, and she called once a week. And Aria texted her every day from the road and called her every Sunday after Ali’s dinner with Pam. She listened to their voicemails, all clearly thinking about Emily since it was her birthday. Ali still hadn’t been able to find the words to express her gratitude to her friends for keeping her together when she felt like falling apart.

She skipped through the messages, deleting them as she went along and making mental notes to call all three of them back tomorrow. She was getting ready to hang up her phone when the next message automatically started playing. It was the message Emily had left her the day of her surgery. Ali listened to it all the time. It was soothing to hear her voice. She stood motionless in her bedroom, listening, imagining she was standing here with her.

_“I always knew I loved you, but I didn’t realize just how much I loved you until I had to live without you.”_

That part of her message always got to Ali, because living without Emily felt so painful and unnatural. It was a raw feeling that grated her every second of every day.

_“Getting that letter, coming back here…it brought me back from a really dark place.”_

Ali regretted dragging Emily back to Rosewood to her death. As painful as it was for her to think about, she much would have preferred for Emily to be safe and alive in California than dead and buried here.

_“You brought me back…”_

Ali sucked in a cry. Because she hadn’t been able to bring Emily back when it really mattered. She hadn’t been able to save her. And though she’d been working through her guilt and grief with a mental health services professional, she constantly battled with her guilt over not being able to help Emily in her time of need.

_“…my heart only beats because of you, Ali.”_

Ali felt hot tears running down her cheeks. She wasn’t exactly sure when she’d started crying, but the dam holding in her emotions had definitely broken.

_“I love you so much more than you could ever know.”_

“I love you, too,” Ali whispered back, knowing that her words were falling on deaf ears, knowing she was just talking to herself.

_“…my whole life I’ve never loved anything more.”_

Ali wiped away her tears and pushed out a breath through her stuffy nose. Her tears didn’t last as long as they used to. She’d learned to just let go and feel it until it was over. The intervals of her breakdowns were getting shorter and shorter.

_“I just wanted you to know that. That you’re loved. That you’re worthy of love…and happiness, and…just…so much more. The world. I know it’s corny, but you deserve the world.”_

That was her Emily. Always wanting nothing but the best for her girl. She had been so kind. So thoughtful. So caring.

_“God, listen to me. I’m rambling.”_

Ali missed Emily’s rambling. She missed a lot of those little things. She missed snuggling with her on the couch. She missed Emily scolding her for not eating a proper breakfast. She missed teasing her for crying when they watched Disney movies. She missed watching her sleep on those rare nights she didn’t have nightmares, because her lips would twitch and she’d sigh peacefully, a sound that was like heaven to Ali. She missed her walking around barefoot and getting in to bed and purposefully putting her cold feet up against her. It was all those little quirks and oddities she missed the most.

_“I should go before I propose marriage...”_

Ali had to laugh at the irony, considering she’d been the one who popped the question to Emily. Either way, if Emily had lived she knew they were destined to be together.

_“I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye, baby.”_

The message cut off. Ali sighed. She pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it for a few seconds, thankful that technology existed so that she could still see and hear Emily whenever she wanted.

She wore one of Emily’s old night shirts to bed. And she dreamed of her. She saw her standing by the kissing rock, waiting for her.

“You’re here,” Ali said, reaching her hands out and pushing her palms against Emily’s, lightly sweeping her lips against hers.

“Of course I’m here.” Emily smiled back, pulling one of her hands free. “I heard you, Ali.” Emily’s fingers traced the pattern of her jaw. “I always hear you.”

“I miss you.” Ali sighed.

“I know.” Emily smiled sadly.

“Everyone misses you,” she said. “The girls and I talk about you all the time.”

“How are they?” Emily questioned.

“Good. Spencer is working for her mom. She said she took the job because of the benefits. But I think it’s just so she could be closer to Toby.”

“Without question.” Emily agreed.

“Oh, Aria and Ezra are penning a deal to turn their novel into a movie. They want to sign on as producers.”

“And here I thought Hanna would be the one to end up in Hollywood first.”

“She’s probably going to go with them. She’s already hounding them about running the wardrobe department.” Ali smiled. “I’m really proud of her. Of all of them.”

“You’re all going to have an incredible impact on the world.” Emily ran her palm up Ali’s arm.

“Just following your lead.” Ali shrugged. “You changed lives in ways you couldn’t even imagine.”

Emily looked away, a bashful look on her face. Ali missed seeing that look every day.

“How’s my mom?” Emily asked.

“She’s…” Ali trailed off. Pam, like her, had good days and bad days. But they’d found strength in one another. “…she’s okay. She’s constantly trying to feed me.”

“Yeah, I always found it best to just smile politely and accept the great bounty she offers lest you risk upsetting her and facing the wrath of her swinging spatula.” Emily teased. “That woman can turn any kitchen utensil into a weapon. She used a spoon to spank me once when I was three.”

Ali laughed softly. She pushed a lock of Emily’s hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes, searching for that spark that made her Emily Fields. Her eyes were soft and kind and every bit as full of love as Ali remembered, but that light just wasn’t there...or it wasn’t the same. And suddenly, the realism in the dream started to fade.

“This isn’t real.” Ali looked down sadly.

“Maybe not. But it’s all we’ve got.” Emily kissed her forehead, her face so close that Ali could practically feel her in her soul.

Emily closed the distance between their lips, pushing her body against Ali’s. Ali let go and leaned in to the kiss. One of her hands was pushed against Emily’s cheek, her fingertips curling into her hair and the other hand grabbed her hip and pulled her closer. Ali could feel Emily’s passion burning through her body.

Emily pulled back, her hands on either side of Ali’s neck.

“I promised you forever, Ali.” It wasn’t the typical forever, but then again the two of them had never been typical. “I will _always_ be here when you need me.” Emily raked her fingers through Ali’s hair. “But I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything.” She would do anything for Emily.

“We can have our forever here.” She glanced around at their surroundings. “But you can’t mope over me for the rest of your life.”

“You should have thought about that before you died.” Ali smarted back.

“Alison,” she said, her fingers splayed open on Ali’s cheeks, “I need you to listen to me.” She had her face, her heart, and her attention. “You have to pull yourself out of this misery. I know you can do it. You’re the strongest person I know. I don’t want to see you giving up on life like this. You’ve been walking around an empty shell for the past six months. You’re alive, but you’re not _living_. You have a place in the world. You need to find out where you belong.”

“I belonged with you.” Ali argued, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“No. You said it yourself today. You have to let go. And I completely support you in that. Because sweetheart, you’re not living right now. You’re settling. And you deserve better than that. You owe it to yourself to live your life.”

“I don’t owe myself anything.” Ali muttered.

“God, always with the drama.” Emily laughed. “Fine. You owe it to me…to _us_. Live for us. Can you do that?”

Ali nodded.

“I think I can do that.”

“Promise me, Alison.

“I promise, Em.”

Emily nodded in satisfaction and then pulled her in for another kiss. Ali felt herself melting in to Emily’s touch. She closed her eyes, focusing on the movement of Emily’s lips, the placement of her hands on her face, and everything else that kept Emily alive in her memory. Because while she was going to live her life, just like she promised, she was going to do it with Emily in her heart.

Forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will readily admit that yes...yes, I am a bastard. A horrible evil George RR Martin ‘Game of Thrones’ mating with ‘Les Mis’ and having a ‘13 Reasons Why’ baby crushing your hearts bastard. Kudos to anyone who was able to stomach this. Because I barely could. I kept picturing the actresses in my mind when I wrote it and it freaked me out to imagine Shay Mitchell in that death scene, because we need that precious snarky smart-ass comedian in today’s world. We really do. And picturing Sasha Pieterse nailing the dramatic tragedy was enough to make me want to curl into a blanket burrito and cry hysterically into my pillow. I hope I have not sent anyone into an extensional crisis with this. I’m gonna channel my Canadian neighbors here and just say...I am so sorry. Soooo sorry.


End file.
